alexandersucksdik

[alexandersucksdik]

I ship myself with failure and sadness Because every ship fails

I ship myself with academic success and contentment

[alexandersucksdik]

BIRD

[alexandersucksdik]

Casually reading gay smut at 1:30am

[alexandersucksdik]

The Houston Post, Texas, September 16, 1919

[alexandersucksdik]

Yeah, I got the D.

Depression Dysphoria Daddy issues Diabetes

Death wish

[alexandersucksdik]

[alexandersucksdik]

[alexandersucksdik]

when i saw this i couldn’t believe it didn’t have music

[alexandersucksdik]

Did you just assume God's gender

[alexandersucksdik]

@sindhimarie I'm a fortnight

[alexandersucksdik]

me walking into a mcdonalds in 2037: i’d like the 5 for .0000005 meal please :)

cashier: sure thing! that’ll just be .0000005 bitcoins. would you like to pay with wifi or take out a McLoan?

me: comcastie-kins can i pwease use the intewnet to twansfew some bitcoins to mcdonawds? ówò

comcast: uh oh pumpkin, you didn’t upgrade to the new premium money exchange package yet :(

me: guess i’ll take out another McLoan then!

cashier: sir it looks like you’ve actually exceeded your limit, you currently owe .13 bitcoins to mcdonald’s and im legally required to arrest you

me: not if i kill myself first

cashier, chasing me with a net: mcdonald’s owns the rights to your life so you’re not allowed to die

[alexandersucksdik]

I'm the worst friend because I can be the best friend. I'm the dad friend. If I had a group of friends, I will adopt them. I prefer a second in command role in a group, where I give suggestions and the leader is advised by me but also does their own thing but knows that I would be disappointed if it was something bad. I'm your dad now. I will protect you, but also let you make your simple mistakes and learn from them, and be there to comfort you.

[alexandersucksdik]

BLUE CHEESE HAS MOLD IN IT

baby it’s mold outside

[alexandersucksdik]

Awoowooo

Wild wolf in Finland by Niko Pekonen

[alexandersucksdik]

Me: Running and Screaming at the baby probably isn't the best way to interact

My 11 year d brother: you'd be wrong

Me: hey look at how fucked up you are.

Brother: you right *leaves baby alone*

Me: also not how you interact. Look how fucked up I am.

[alexandersucksdik]

Hit it hard daddy

[alexandersucksdik]

All the guests are here for Prince Harry's Wedding

I really hope so.