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"what a goddamn mess we're makin' of things"

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Tony, to Peter: Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.

Stephen: Yeah, break their bones instead. They have 206 of those.

*Tony and Peter stare at Stephen*

Tony: Honey...what the actual fuck?

Stephen: ...*whispers* I had a bad day today.

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Wishing Life Came with a Manual: Part 5- I wish I could do more

I’ve always been that friend that people just talk to. Like sometimes I feel like they don’t realize that they are speaking and just let themselves get carried away on the tides of their emotions. 

It has been this way for years. I can recall several times where I’ve been doing something and would get a call from someone about how they were about to kill themselves. My whole first year of college, I got a phone call a day from a friend from high school where she would just dump everything on me then hang up. When I was with my first real passionate love, I got a call from a friend about to commit suicide that was hysterical. 

In being in these situations, you would think that I would know what to say. 

I don’t. I honest to god have no idea what to say. 

I can’t make it better with words. There is no magical cure that wipes away all the pain. So I do the best I can do by being there and supporting them. Even if that means sitting silently beside them as they talk. 

There have been times that it has been too much for me and I’ve had to break the line. Like the girl that called me every day to dump. I had to stop talking to her because I was being consumed by her problems and losing myself. Some bad things could have happened thanks to the state of mind she left me in. 

Mental illnesses are no joke. They can’t be gotten over, they are not a choice. They are something that takes over you without your permission and decides to never leave. They fight you for control and they ware you down. I’ve seen that battle in people in my life and have fought with it myself. 

But that doesn’t make it easier when people you know are suffering. It might not be a mental illness, it may just be life. Life is hard. It can be unkind and painful. 

That’s why I choose to take the career path I did with working on becoming a social worker and also having a degree in psychology. I want to help people’s lives become a bit easier. Because I want to do more. 

Because even as I sit here and think of the conversation I had with my friend earlier about the things he is dealing with, I wish I could do more. I have some sort of answer or idea of how to help other than just being there but sometimes that is the best thing you can be. 

Is to just be there and listen. 

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Wishing Life Came with a Manual: Part 4- Standing Outside Looking In

As I’ve mentioned before I’m a busy person. I’m working on getting a Master’s and have two jobs at the moment. Both of my jobs are working with people that have developmental disabilities. One is teaching and the other is home health care. 

So I get to see a lot of stuff. Together with this I also have almost a lifetime of experience since both of my siblings are Autistic. So I’m pretty comfortable in this element but the one thing that usually sets me off is the family. When working with people with disabilities, their families are different and you never know what to expect. 

As someone that has two younger siblings that have developmental disabilities, I understand that families have their own ways of doing things. Each person has their own unique ways of living their lives. So I get it, but honestly, there are some families that you meet that you worry about. 

We all know that not every family is pretty. We all have our cracks that we keep behind closed doors and work to find a way to live happily. But there are some families that I meet that I don’t understand. Either they are super protective, super lack or they don’t understand anything and are going crazy trying to figure things out, or they are trying to force the people with disabilities to be “normal”. 

Standing on the outside looking in, you don’t know the demons that people are dealing with. The needs and misunderstandings that they have. The worries and fears that they don’t know how to deal with. It’s hard to understand them from where your standing and no matter how much you empathize and get to know them and their situation, you’ll never truly see it from their place. 

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Wishing Life Came with a Manual: Part 3- The AM Blues.

There are so many hours in a day. 24 to be exact and you get those 24 hours 7 days a week. So many hours!

So why the hell do we have to get up so freaking early in the morning?!

Like why?

I hate it.

It honestly is a complete pain to get up at 5 in the morning. Then it makes me feel bad that I have a hard time with it because there are people that are getting up earlier than that to go to work!

Me, personally as I get older, have a hard time with the morning hours. I don’t drink coffee so I really don’t have that wake-up drink. I don’t drink energy drinks anymore since college. So no caffeine boost from that. I literally, by the sheer might of my will and fear of losing my job, get my butt up and go to work. 

This morning I woke up when I was supposed to be leaving. I have 5 alarms set and also people that try to get me up! And it’s not because I stay up, I’ve been going to bed at a reasonable time, well as reasonable as me needing to get several things done allows. It’s before 12:30. 

But I’ve worked several different shifts in my experiences so far and honestly the worst for me is the evening shift because you never get to see anyone. That is something that they don’t tell you. If you getting an evening shift job, depending on your schedule and everyone you know, you might not see them for a while. 

At my first job, I went almost 2 months without seeing my dad and we lived in the same house. 

But honestly, mornings are killer for me. Anyone else out there feels the pain? 

A piece of advice from someone that is still trying to figure it out? Try all shifts, don’t just assume you’ll like a certain shift. I used to think graveyard shifts would be the best for me because I have insomnia. I’d rather be in bed awake imagining the weirdest things possible and be tired the next day than work a graveyard shift. 

But also find a job you love, it makes the pain of getting up easier. I have two jobs. The one I enjoy, I don’t mind getting up early for. The other, it’s meh and I feel like I spent all night running a marathon every time I have to get up for it. 

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Wishing Life Came with a Manual- Part 2: Pet Crisis

As children, many of us are raised with the ideas and hopes that life will have a happily ever after. We watch these shows where the bad guys get punished and the heroes save the day. The Princesses and Princes rule fairly and care about their people. And most of all, almost everyone gets a happy ending. 

Most of us grow up seeing this and we expect big things out of life. We have wants, desires, and dreams that we wish to follow. But then in all the beauty of the world, the ugly starts to show when we finally start to really look and live. 

Nothing prepares you for the pain that you will see and deal with in life. Most of us feel empathy toward others and feel their pain. But when it’s yours to bear, it is so much more.  

Death is one such pain. The death of someone we care about is one of the hardest situations to live through. 

If you read Part 1: Pet Crisis, you know that I had to take my cat, Jersey to the vet yesterday because his back leg was damage terrible from being hit by a car. I believe I talked about how the vet said everything looks good and that he should be ok after his surgery. Keywords there: Should be.

At 8 something this morning, I get a call from the vet office. Jersey has passed away overnight. The trauma on him was too much and when he was finally out of pain and able to relax, his body decided it was time to go. 

I can’t tell you the feeling I felt when I heard this lady tell me this. Things stopped, became off balance and then crashed as my mind stopped. This wasn't supposed to happen! I had everything in the work to be ready to take care of Jersey when he got home! I had spent time working through article after article of how to take care of your cat after a major surgery like the one he was going through because he was supposed to come home!!

He was supposed to come home.   

Jersey was only about 8 months old, hadn’t even got to see snow yet. He has 5 other cats here that love him very much and have been looking for him. They keep trying to get into my car where they saw me put him yesterday. They knew he was hurt because they were with him when I couldn’t get to him. 

But now he’s not coming back the way he left, He’ll come home in a small box to be buried. 

I keep thinking about how he died away from home, in some place he didn’t know away from his friends. But I also think about how he wasn’t in pain anymore and he was comfortable (hopefully). I keep thinking that if I had been able to get him to the vet sooner, that he would be ok. That if I had done this or that then he’d still be ok. But nothing is going to change the reality of it all now. 

Nothing prepares you for death. When someone means something to you, whether that someone is a human or animal, it breaks a piece of you when you lose them.  

So my advice to everyone is to cherish life as you have it. Things can change within moments and those changes can be permanent. Love those you care about and even when you're angry at them, let them know that you love them and to be careful. 

Before Jersey was hit by a car, he was playing with his friends. Running all over our backyard, and doing what young cats do. I’d like to believe he was happy. Below is an older picture of Jersey, he’s about 4 to 5 months old in this picture. I sadly don’t have any recent ones because I didn’t think to take any when I was playing with them. 

But in loving memory of Jersey, please give your pets and family a hug and take a moment to enjoy being with them because sadly, they won’t be forever. 

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Wishing Life Came with a Manual: Part 1- Pet Crisis

There are many things in life that are hard to deal with and I really wish that there was an answer every question I’ll ever have book or a person who had so much experience they could give me good advice on what are the probable options. Sadly neither of these exist. 

So usually I drive people up the wall with my excessive worrying and diving into the internet to find all the information I can. That usually pays off! But it still doesn’t make anything easier. 

Like what is happening now. My cat, Jersey was hit by a car and it took me over a day to be able to get a hold of him. Finally, when I returned from work yesterday he came out from his hiding spot which was under our in-closed porch. When I saw him, it was hard to miss the glaring damage that has been done to his lift hind leg. I knew there was damage the night he got hit because I found blood but I didn’t know how bad. Hell, I won’t even know he got hit if it wasn’t for the guy coming back to my house and admitting he hit one of my cats. 

I live out on a property with a lot of land and have several cats that run around. Usually, they don’t go up on the road but that night, for some reason he was on the road. 

So he got hit and it did some serious damage to his left hind leg. And by serious I mean you can see the bone sticking out and his foot looks like it got caught in a garbage disposal. It takes me little to no time start calling the vets around the area to see if I can get any help. For almost an hour I am being rerouted to so many different vet offices looking for an opening or an emergency vet place to go to. Everyone is either: A- Full or B- Doesn’t offer those kinds of services. 

At this point, I’m feeling pretty shitty and losing hope because seriously is there no services around to help!? Finally, I get a hold of someone who has an opening for 10am the next morning (today). I explain the situation and how Jersey is doing. I told by the vet to bring him in the morning but if his condition changes in any way I need to go to the vet ER, which the closest one to me is in another state about 3 almost 4 hours away. 

Thankfully nothing changes through the night. He’s no longer bleeding, he is drinking and he is moving around a bit. Long sleepless night for me. 

So this morning I got up bright and early and got us to the vet. Thankfully he wasn’t freaking out about being in a car, he laid there and just accepted what was going on around him. We get there and we get signed in and this lady comes in with a dog. 

I just want to throw this out there without leaving to much on it. If you are going somewhere and even if it is a place like a vet, don’t let your animals get into other people’s spaces or around other carriers. This lady let her dog pretty much try to get up on my carrier with my injured cat who hates dogs. This is not ok. I understand we’re both there because we love our animals but please don’t let them nose upon other people without a single thought. End pleading rant.

So this was probably one of the scariest things I’ve had to deal with as a 25-year-old. My animals have always been quite healthy and I’ve never taken them to a vet for something major like this. It was scary to be standing there watching them do all these things to Jersey and worry about what they are going to say. 

They took him back to do x-rays and test while I got paperwork filled out. The vet comes back and we talk and she tells me that basically, we have to wait for this one test. If this one test comes out to be positive then they're going to want to put my cat down. 

They explained to me what this test was for and the simple basis of it was could Jersey still tell when he was going to the bathroom and if there were traces of certain diseases. 

The longest 10-minute wait of my life. 

It came back as negative. I started crying again in relief. But this is only one hurdle. Now he has to make it through surgery, they’re removing his back leg. The damage is so bad that if they were to fix it, there is a large chance that they will have to still take it later because of infection or other health complications. 

This is where I wish that I had more answers and knowledge because I’m staring at this paper trying to take all this in. Life hasn’t been the easiest as of late and now I’m making a huge decision that greatly affects someone’s life. This whole situation is new to me and I have no one to ask whether this is the right thing to do or should I get a second opinion but if I choose to do that when will that be able to happen? 

I ended up signing the papers because I didn’t want to affect his health in the future and after talking with the vet. She listed the health benefits of doing this now and discussed the surgery in greater details.    

So I left one of my little purr babies in this unfamiliar place to have major surgery either this evening or tomorrow morning. I cried in my car for a bit before leaving to deal with my responsibilities. 

No one ever tells you about the burden of having someone else’s life in your hands. Ya, this is an animal but this animal is important to me because he is part of my family just like the humans are. There is nothing that prepares you for the weight of these decisions because if he dies because of the surgery, it was me that put him there. 

So here’s my advice to people. If you have pets, whether they are outside or inside, know a vet that is reliable and what they can and can’t do. Know who to contact in an emergency situation like mine so you don’t end up like me. You don’t want to be calling around and basically becoming more emotionally rung out because help isn’t happening. 

Also maybe set aside some money for your pets. Like for emergencies because vet services are expensive.  

From here that is all I can say. I’ll let you all know what happens next as I just wait to hear what from the vet. 

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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Summary:

Random short stories that come to mind about the Avengers.

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Ra keeping me company while I finish some things before bed #cat #furryfriend (at New Plymouth, Ohio)

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For anyone who wants to watch @therealjacksepticeye’s panel here’s the link, it starts in roughly about 8 hours :)

http://www.twitch.tv/event/pax

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Blue Light

(3710 words) by

SailorChibi

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom:

The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

,

Marvel Cinematic Universe

,

Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Peter Quill & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Quill, Tony Stark, Gamora (Marvel), Rocket Raccoon

Additional Tags: Slavery, slave tony, ignores everything after the first avengers movie, but GOTG2 still happened, Collars, Mute Tony Stark, Whips, Slave tony stark, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slave Trade, Implied Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, implied non con, when tony took the rocket through the portal, he did not fall back to earth, instead he just fell, until he was caught by slave traders, who were very fascinated by this human, Arc Reactor, Tony still has the arc reactor, Protective Peter Quill, short tony stark, Trauma, Emotional Trauma, Angst, Angst and Fluff, Hopeful Ending

Series: Part 1 of

slave tony AU

Summary:

Peter and the other guardians have landed on a planet for some emergency repairs. What Peter finds on his way to the local marketplace will change his life forever.

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My Ra looking all adorable #cats #adorablepets

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I was walking behind a woman for five minutes and she got catcalled three times.

I usually walk everywhere with my headphones on, but I had them in my bag and I was reading a book on my phone instead (I do that when the foot traffic is light).  A young Latina was coming down the street as I was coming up the avenue, and when she got to the corner a few paces ahead of me, she turned to walk in the direction I was going.  We were traveling at the same speed, but since she was like ten paces ahead and it’s bright outside in the middle of the day, I didn’t feel the need to fall back or slow down to give her more space. At night, I try not to walk too close behind women just so they don’t feel like I’m any sort of threat.

We got to a corner and this dude standing outside of the bodega was like, “Slow down mama where you goin? You don’t have to work today, you can stop and speak.”

She didn’t break her stride. “I’m going to the gym.”  The Walk sign was on, so I didn’t break mine either.  

A block later, a young guy was coming toward us on the sidewalk riding his bike.

“What’s good shorty?”

She didn’t respond.

“Well you was lookin, you can say something, stuck up bitch.”

We kept walking.

In the middle of the next block, an older man was walking toward us and he put on a friendly smile and said, “Smile young lady, it’s a beautiful day.”

I don’t know if she smiled, but we kept walking. She went into the gym and I kept on toward where I was going thinking about how that was just five minutes of her day.  How many other blocks of five minutes are just like that?  

Only one of them was truly aggressive. The other two guys seemed nice enough and it felt more like a pleasant compliment. It felt like the kind of thing a guy says who argues with women online about catcalling. “We’re not all bad guys. We can’t even compliment women? We can’t even say something nice?”

No.  You really can’t.  I was annoyed in that five minutes and I just happened to be walking behind her with no headphones on.  Can you imagine those five minutes over and over every day of your life?  Nobody wants to be spoken to by strangers day in and day out forever regardless of what they’re saying.  

So no.  You can’t say anything. The quality of your life has not decreased because you aren’t allowed to say nice things to strange women on the sidewalk, but your silence greatly increases the quality of hers.  So just be quiet, and let her go where she’s going.

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Attack

30fps

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***

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( 1265.1 / 1265.2 )

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This is amazing!