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Destructive Feelings

"I can't take this anymore Lao!" Kano shouts. Lao looks at him surprised. The argument they got in started out of nowhere and got personal after about an hour.

“What exactly do you mean? What exactly can’t you do?” Kano sits down on the couch, his face in his hands. “Us. I can’t do our relationship anymore. Every single time we go out, I feel like I don’t fit in with your friends. You and your friends have these different discussions about things like books and art and all kinds of other topics that make you seem so well traveled and smart. And I’m left sitting there, unable to participate because I have no clue what any of you are talking about.”

Lao sits down across from him, unsure what to say. “And I’ve seen how your friends look at me when we show up together. It’s that same look I’d get when people found out I lived in a trailer on the wrong side of the tracks. It was the look that I’m nothing more than gum on the bottom of their expensive shoes.” Tears had begun to well up in Kano’s eyes but he continued on.

“There was even one time Erron had cornered me and asked me who I thought I was, being there or anywhere with you, let alone us going out together. No one wants us together and no one likes me, so why should I try? I love you so much but it gets harder and harder to love you when I’m so alone when we’re together.”

Lao gently grabs the man’s hands. “Baby, That's not true. Liu and Cole like you. Sindel, Kitana, Mileena, Jade, and Sareena like you too. They’ve all seen how happy you make me and they enjoy the stories you tell about your home in Australia. Mileena was just saying the other day she was planning a trip there to learn more about the Aborigines of your country.”

Kano looks at him, tears staining his cheeks. “No, they only tolerate me and my stories because you're with me. I tried starting a conversation with Liu once and he completely ignored my attempts. Cole just sat and stared at me when I tried. And if I’m honest, the girls are a little intimidating. Without money or even a good education, to all of them, I earn as much respect as flies buzzing around they’re heads. They don’t care. Sareena literally turned up her nose as soon as she found out I have a police record. Maybe I should just go. They'll be happier when you don’t show up with me. Besides, you deserve someone who can add input to your smart conversations. I’m too stupid and I bring you down.”

The heartbroken man stands. “I should go. Maybe I’ll see you around and maybe I won’t. But I will always love you, I’ll just never deserve you.” “Kano, please. Don’t go.” Lao begs, his voice cracking. The taller man just hangs his head. “Goodbye Kung Lao. Please don’t follow me and I wish you all the best.”

He exits their shared apartment and is soon gone from the building, with nothing more than what he came into the relationship with. Lao, on the other hand, proceeds to collapse onto the couch and falls apart instantly. The couch; wide awake, crying and shaking, is where Liu finds his cousin the next morning after no one else had seen Lao come into work.

“What happened?” He crouches in front of the other man, making sure Lao sees him, even if his gaze is far away. “Kano left me,” is the only thing Lao manages to choke out before the sobs start again.

@lilmissriottbliss

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he angers me to my core but there's something about him that leaves me infatuated and yearning for more. i want to get over him but i can't.

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When you look out at the night sky, please remember that out of all the stars, you'll always be my favorite. That you won't ever be alone as long as you're in my heart and I in yours. Someday I will be back, I promise.

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date someone who holds your hand when you’re anxious

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“To love someone, who, for whatever reason, cannot return your feelings is painful. But if you listen to the poets, perhaps there’s a kind of beauty to that love. It burns bright and it’s never tainted by reality or by overuse. It’s as clear and fierce today as it was the very first day it began. And there’s beauty to that.” Tolkien (2019)

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“You.”

— Everyone rebloggs the same word but no one sees the same face (via cundys)

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I’ve passed many eyes, but i got lost in yours