africanism

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Working on my Queer Blackness. Or should I say, my Black Queerness.

This article was written in September 2013 by the founder of this blog, for a zine called The Black Queer Adventures.

*FRENCH VERSION AVAILABLE SOON*

My name is Rose. I was named after my grandmother, from my mother's side, who died when I was 10. She lived in Cameroon, where my parents were born, and I was born and raised in France, but I feel like I’ve known her my all life. She was living in slums, very poorly, but her house felt like home to me, even if she would let us starve all day because she'd prefer keep my mother's money to herself, as she had none.

I'm telling you this story because we are all coming from different places in life. And those places do not make us who we truly are. We think they do, but they most definitely don't. I never got the chance to say to my grandmother that, as a grown woman, I would fall in love with my own kind. But it’s unlikely I would have done it if she was still alive, because I'm pretty sure I would not have stayed in touch with her, the same way I’ve been avoiding my relatives for years now.

To be completely honest, this happened way before I started exploring my queerness, five years ago. And I'm not proud to acknowledge the fact that I pushed my blackness away for a very long time, incapable of being me without being them. So when it comes to share my experience of a queer black woman – or a black queer woman – there is so much to say I'm still in the process of it all.

One of my friends told me once : « You're black and you’re a lesbian. You definitely want to get in trouble with the world. » And I don't, obviously. Like most of us, I just want to live my life the way I want, you know. But what if I was willing to get in trouble with the world, thinking for a fact that it is indeed the one getting in trouble with me for not acknowledging who I am ? Being black AND queer is not something I choose to be, but I chose to be comfortable with it, because that's how my folks brought me up : being proud of who we are.

As a black cisgender woman, I could lie to my relatives' face, to my entourage, telling them I'm only into men, so that they won’t be disappointed or ashamed of myself. (Being with a white cishet man for a year now could have helped along the way... but that's another tricky subject.) Except I'm absolutely not willing to do that. I can't lie to myself just to satisfy anyone's outlook on my own life.

Besides, I'm convinced that people of color should know, amongst all, what it feels like to be different. And I'm having a very hard time understanding and accepting, above all, their fucked-up bigotry and narrowmindedness.

When I started exploring my queerness, I used to go to that gay night club in Paris packed with trans* people. I would go there once or twice a week, and just like that, without understanding how and why, it felt like home. Because there were so much beauty in these people morons tend to call freaks. So much pride and fierceness in their shows and performances, even if it lacked taste and quality. I guess they accepted me just the way I was, embraced it even, because they wanted those exact same things from me : love and acceptance.

I was quite the only black woman to go there at the time. As a matter of facts, I have been the only black woman for a very long time. At school, surrounded with white folks in a catholic high school. Among my friends, who were white for the most part. When I came out to my mom telling me she would die and go straight to hell if any of her children were to tell her about their homosexuality. How dramatic. To my brother, telling me he always knew but asked me to never talk about my love life to my parents. To my father and my sister, who did not want to get involved.

Intersectionality is in all our struggles, in all of mine. When you experience discrimination in mostly every single facet of your life and think there's nothing you can do about it, because you feel so lonely and it hurts so bad, then you realise there must be someone out there, feeling the exact same way, even if it's for a variety of reasons that ain't yours. And one day, you meet just one person or several people that make you feel relieved ; eventually, you start believing again.

I want to be that person. I want to be an ally to anyone who feels lonely, excluded from the society. The misfits. My dear beloved queer peers. Staying away from my family is not the easiest thing to do, but I'm satisfied with what I'm doing. Because I want my people to be proud of me for sticking with them. I want to be proud of myself for always staying true to those who made me feel like home.

Am I a black person being queer ? A queer person being black ? Is that even questionable ? I don't really know. All I know is that blackness and queerness make me more and more special. And I'm embracing that fact everyday, no matter what. I was taught to be strong, and I'm planning to be stronger and stronger, because you are all out there. 

And hopefully, one day, my family will acknowledge the fact that I've always stayed true to them, fulfilling their never-ending dreams of social justice and equality.

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In French right here, from @blackstothefuture‘s website >>> MUST FOLLOW!

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Founders of Creativity.

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linaviktor

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The Collective

Photography by J. Quazi King

http://quazimottoonwax.com

Instagram = @Quazimottoonwx

[africanism]

Sons Of Kemet - In The Castle Of My Skin

So you think you can dance ?

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le nouveau masculin - i-D

Design : Grace Wales Bonner

Style : Julia Sarr-Jamois

Photos : Harley Weir

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Grace Bol at Opening Ceremony Spring 2016

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must-read.

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Give some love and support to blackstothefuture, a transmedia platform project aiming to convey a modern, sustainable yet positive vision of africanity and all of its means of expression.

Join in the crowdfunding campaign here !

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Daniel Phahlamohlake for Lukhanyo Mdingi FW 2015

Images by Travys Owen.

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YOUNG PARIS - Rap | Electronic LP

sent the roof on fire this weekend @ Afropunk Paris !

WICKED.

[africanism]

Francis Boy - EPK

A look into the life of Angola’s Kuduro heartthrob Francis Boy, and how his music combines the roots of his native Malange with funky beats, an Afro-futuristic aesthetic, and his own brand of swêguê or ‘Swag’

[africanism]

Taiye Selasi: I’m a Multi-local Afropolitan

Meet the new star of English literature, Taiye Selasi.

In this interview Taiye Selasi talks about identity, immigration and what it means to be multi-local, as well as about her debut novel ’Ghana Must Go’ on family relations, the different characters of the book, and the dream of finding something you are good at.

Tayie Selasi explains that she, and her characters, are looking for a way to have ”a story which is human, no more and no less.” Having a proud sense of self has nothing to do with wealth, which is why not succeeding can be devastating for someone who has left their home in search of a space to be who they wanted to be. Also, there is plenty to write about family, and family relations, Selasi explains.

Taiye Selasi was born in London, England in 1979 to Nigerian and Ghanian parent, and raised in Boston, USA. 

In 2010 Penguin Press bought Selasi’s unfinished novel ‘Ghana Must Go’ which has now been sold in 16 countries. ’Ghana Must Go’ (2013) is a profound, emotional story of family betrayal, transformation and love. The novel singled Taiye Selasi out as the new star of English literature, backed up by Salman Rushdie and Toni Morrison.

Selasi has written one novel, ‘Ghana Must Go’ and two short stories, 'Bye-Bye, Babar’ and 'The Sex Lives of African Girls’. In 2012 Selasi launched “2030 Twelve,” a four-part documentary about African millennials in North, South, East, West Africa, and in 2013 she was selected as one of Granta’s 20 Best Young British Writers.

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he’s a gambler, spinning wheels

a poison victim, look of steel

the coldest heart you’ve ever felt

the coldest hands you’ve ever held...

--> waiting for the sophomore album to come... #UNSTOPPABLE