aeonphantasia

[aeonphantasia]

the tag lauriven on this app is 99% me and 1% the other 3 people who ship it too. I love you lauriven shippers wherever you are ❤️

[aeonphantasia]

When it was clear that Ventus was going to become a permanent guest at Lauriam’s place, he and Lauriam went shopping to refurnish the house with anything that would make Ventus comfortable. Some things Ventus brought with him from his house in the Land of Departure, like his favorite cup and his pillows. Among the new things Ventus and Lauriam bought together, there's a matching pair of blankets. Ventus never had a comfort blanket before. Now, whenever they relax on the couch for any activity they do together, he and Lauriam wrap themselves in their comfy blankets, holding each other and slotting in place from head to toe like two perfect pieces of a puzzle.

Beneath those blankets, Lauriam kisses him softly on the lips, he plays with Ventus’s hair, and massages his waist, back and shoulders. It gets so comfortable that Ventus often ends up asleep in Lauriam’s arms before the man carries him to bed to finish their evening with more kisses and cuddles.

[aeonphantasia]

In Birth By Sleep at the Million Dreams Award competition, Ventus is awarded this ice cream.

The Double Crunch is described in game as "a mixed ice cream so full of fruit, you might just go a little bananas." My brain has always assumed that the giant pink colored ball is a strawberry flavored ice cream. And I have a silly lauriven headcanon to go with it.

So assuming this is Ventus’s favorite flavor (because otherwise why woukd they award him with something he wouldn't like?), and pink being the color of Lauriam's hair, my hc is that Ventus likes strawberry ice cream because it unconsciously reminds him of Lauriam. He hss loved this flavor since before meeting Lauriam and after, it has been a reminder of the boy he's crushing on.

Now that these two are reunited and more in love than ever, Ventus has confessed Lauriam this secret and Lauriam loves to tease Ven for it, so far as making silly jokes like 'you're eating me so good' every time he watches Ven's joyous expression while literally stuffing his face with ice cream.

[aeonphantasia]

I'm convinced to this day that Axel kept carrying Roxas's winner stick with him all the time. And he still owns it and it's his most treasured possession. When Roxas was gone that stick was the only thing he had to remember Roxas. Now that Roxas's back, he keeps it as a memento of their friendship. When Roxas discovered Axel still kept the stick with him, it overwhelmed him. It made him overjoyed. Now they have this thing when every time Roxas finds a new winner stick he gifts it to Axel. Sometime to Xion too. But mostly Axel, especially if they're having ice cream just the two of them. Roxas has also gifted Axel a box to collect all the sticks so he won't lose them. Axel says that each stick is filled with memories, but his favorite one remains the first, now discolored and scratched a little. Axel says that it's filled with memories of Roxas’s love. And Roxas agrees.

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This is one of my most important headcanons for them. I have to share it here too.

[aeonphantasia]

Lauriam and Ventus's first kiss happens in a flower field, a few days after Ventus received his first 'I love you' from Lauriam.

Their first kiss is delicate like a flower's petal. A moment earlier they are playing and rolling down the Wildflower Clearing and a moment later Lauriam presses his lips on Ventus's and Ventus’s heart can't stop fluttering.

Those first few days, they spend their time outside, often surrounded by nature and flowers. Lauriam never strides far. He's always next to Ven. When they sit in the middle of a field, or in the shadow of a tree, Lauriam keeps his arms around Ven, keeping him close.

They hold hands whenever they can. When they walk, when they rest and talk. Ventus loves playing with Lauriam's fingers and he loves Lauriam's large hands. Weirdly enough, those hands are rough and a bit callous but Ventus doesn't mind. When Lauriam stokes his face gently, it makes him feel grounded, like the roots of trees anchoring him to the soil.

More often than not, Ventus loves to sleep when Lauriam is there with him because in those occasions he doesn't have nightmares. There's something comforting in sleeping with his head resting on Lauriam's chest, safe between Lauriam's arms as fingers curl and weave through his hair, listening to Lauriam's heart. When Ventus wakes up, the first thing he sees is always the gentle smile.

From their first kiss, many others follow and Ventus gets less shy with each. It still makes his heart beat like a drum as if it's the first. It soon comes to a point when Ventus doesn't wait for Lauriam to lean forward. He instead rises to his tiptoes to reach Lauriam's lips easily.

Their gentle love is powerful like a whirlwind lifting petals in the air and scattering them everywhere.

For Ventus, being with Lauriam feels like walking barefoot on the grass after the summer rain. It soothes him. It heals him. It makes him whole.

One day at a time.

[aeonphantasia]

I just saw someone slander Ven over on twitter and i want to cry. You better leave my ventus alone or i'm gonna kill you bitch.

[aeonphantasia]

I'm taking notes for future fics.

[aeonphantasia]

drafting details for a possible lauriven modern AU with a tinge of akuroku and some dark undertones and wondering if i'll ever have the strength to write it. In my mind it looks incredibly cool already 🥺

[aeonphantasia]

Today there was talk about a scene from Birth by Sleep -A fragmentary passage where Aqua has a vision of Ventus in the glass coffin, saying how Ventus is princess-core.

I'm giggling because I love the trope of Ventus coming back from his ten years hiatus as a sort of narcoleptic who can fall asleep anywhere anytime. I want to insert more of these kind of scenes in my fics. For example Ven always having a hard time waking up in the morning and Lauriam taking his time to pamper him and spoil him with kisses and snuggles so that every morning Ven wakes up in the sweetest way.

I also think LauriVen would work so well in a Sleeping Beauty fairytale setting. I have a fairytale AU planned where Ventus is the prince and Lauriam is also the prince from a forgotten land but he is disguised as a knight, called to protect Ven. The main point of the fic is when Ven falls under a sleeping curse and Lauriam's kiss wakes him up 🥰

Canon wise, I am considering a LauriVen get together fic where at some point Ven's heart shutters and he falls into a coma and it's up to Lauriam to save Ventus’s heart and bring his dearest back by confessing his undying love to him.

So yeah, Ventus as a sleeping beauty and Lauriam as his prince/knight/protector is a beautiful vibe worth exploring.

[aeonphantasia]

I've just realized that all my akuroku fics are set in their bedroom. I should make a series out of it and call it 'akrk bedroom chronicles' or something 🤭

[aeonphantasia]

More akuroku for my self healing.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63963667

[aeonphantasia]

As of right now, out of the four fics i have under the KH tag, Windflower is the one with the most hits. LauriVen for the win.

[aeonphantasia]

Yesterday on the Akuroku BB discord server there was a brief talk of rarepairs in KH. So i decided to make a brief post on my Kingdom Hearts favorite ships/pairs because I feel like. Every ship is set in a post KH3 scenario:

-LauriVen: my comfort ship.

-AkuRoku: they're everything to me and MUST be protected at all costs.

-Soriku: the OriginalGays™ that changed my life. I owe you everything and you will always have a piece of my heart. Thank you for existing <3.

-XiOlette: they're just adorable and cool.

-VaniKai: the p!nk goth princess and the emo asshole who looks like the guy who broke her heart. Angst angst angst.

-Terraqua: the wholesome-extremely positive-anti toxic-zen ship. Also, they're super cute together.

-Xehaqus: the ObviousGays™ who are meant to be together even after death, and become the old men yaoi once again. But not toxic this time. Please.

-SkuldIsa/Isa x Skuld (Subject X): give that man some happiness. Or, like my friend @yelleonskhcollection once said, "what no p***y does to a mf"

-SeifNer: toxic friends hiding feelings for each other. Until they come clean.

-CLeon: the GayBros™ That's it.

-Elrena/♀: LesbianPower™ for the win.

My goal is to write at least a fic for each one of them.

Also still considering ships for other characters.

Possible ships I'm still exploring for Namine (I don't know why she is so difficult to pair for me):

-IeNami: thank to @yelleonskhcollection

-NamiStrel: they would be so cute together.

-YozoNami or RepliNami

-Pence x Namine

[aeonphantasia]

Warning: I'm going to let off some steam and talk about heavy topics and private stuff in here since I feel this is the only safe space I have left.

So I've been working on my fic for the akuroku BB event in the past few days. It's all very exciting, I love the plot I picked and I'm looking forward the main event. I don't feel like I'm great at community, especially when there are many people involved but I'm trying to focus on my work and keep my space safe.

However, it seems like I've hit a wall. Creatively and emotionally. My fic is going to lean heavily on the fluff side because it's what I'm comfortable with. I planned to insert a couple of smutty scenes because I feel they could be good for the fic and they can flesh out the narrative and character's development. All in all i feel very proud of my fic's plot.

Often, especially for longer projects, it happens that I can't write in a chronological, linear way and instead I start by focusing on a scene that could be in the middle or at the end of the fic. This time, I decided to start working on the smut first because I know I struggle a lot with those scenes. Today I spent all day, since 10am to 5 pm writing the scene. In seven hours of work, barely 800 words came out of it. My goal was 2k.

Now I know already that I struggle with writing in English since it's not my main language and that slows things down quite a bit. This however is a new low. I realized that the smut was the culprit. I have struggled all day trying to find the right emotional tone, the right words.

I've been reading a lot of explicit fics especially in the last twelve months. I used to write it and I have a couple of explicit fics in my collection from 2023. It's not been that long. Still, today was a disaster. I kept reading the text over and over and the more i looked at it, the more disgusted I started to feel as if everything was wrong: the tone, the words, the depth. I had a breakdown. I've been crying for an hour and my clinical depression hit again. To the point where now I feel completely useless, I'm mad that I wasted my time over something that I will probably delete and won't be putting in my fic. I'll probably be forced to remove the explicit content from my fic since I'm so terrible at it.

Again, I used to write explicit things without any concern. I've tried to understand why is it so difficult now. Might be because of a job that's mentally draining. But the great sense of disgust I feel, I fear it might stem from other reasons. Than it hit me, the reason why. Because I'm a neurodivergent aromantic.

The previous times I've written smut, there were no emotions involved. I just wrote pwp fics. Rhe emotional side wasn't important to explore for me. The characters were already in an established relationship. I didn't feel the need to explore their emotional connection.

With this fic is different. The characters are falling in love, they have strong emotions for each other. Emotions that I feel the need to highlight in writing.

And I started thinking about my life, about my lack of positive emotions growing up because of the bad situation I was born in. I don’t know positive emotions. In my 35 years, I've never fallen in love once. I've never experienced the nice feelings that most people usually go through. I've never experience parental affection or love growing up in that shitty place. For me, life has always been only hurt and sadness. I'm incapable of feeling anything else. My intimate experiences have never been linked to positive feelings. Everything has always been mechanical and nobody had ever sticked long enough to allow me to discover a different side of things.

Of course I can't write emotional intimacy. I can't write something I know nothing about. And I'm even incapable of faking it.

This is devastating for me and it's killing me inside even more. It's discouraging on a painful level. I'm doubting myself, my skills. Now I don't even know if I can keep going with this fic.

I feel helpless and hurt. I feel weird and out of place. I always knew I didn't belong in this world as a person. Now I feel like even my creativity has no place in it. Not if it's so void of emotions. So empty.

I feel like, no matter what, I'll always be just an empty shell. A ghost passing by, waiting for all the pain to end.

[aeonphantasia]

“Will you be my Valentine?” 💝

[aeonphantasia]

Welp!!! The first LauriVen is here!!!

[aeonphantasia]

LauriVen is officially my Kingdom Hearts' comfort ship.

I love them too much.