aenesthesian

[aenesthesian]

Johnlock Forcemasc posting.

[aenesthesian]

Here’s our new short film, “Putting on the Dish”. Historical gibberish this time - it’s in Polari, which was a form of slang spoken by some gay men in Britain in the first half of the 20th Century. Featuring awesome performances by Steve Wickenden and Neil Chinneck, and beautifully shot by Ben Barber.

[aenesthesian]

Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run

[aenesthesian]

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

[aenesthesian]

March 2024 favourites

Throughout the past few months I've seen several people catalogue their monthly interests this way, and it's intrigued me as I don't know anyone else who likes to categorise things as much as I do. Maybe I'm just an immensely nostalgic person who is terrified of forgetting things from my youth, which, I'm not going to lie, is starting to hinder me a little! Anyways, this is my first try at this, so bear with me.

Film(s)

Saw Dune: Part Two in theatres and holy shit, what an experience that was - it truly is the blockbuster franchise of our time. However, no matter how good the movie itself was, it still left me confused as i hadn't made any effort beforehand to understand the plot. I remember feeling the exact same sense of confusion when I came out of the cinema in 2021 after seeing the first part of Dune. Turns out all I had to do was watch a single Youtube video explaining how the Dune universe works in order to be completely engrossed by the world! If only my stubbornness and refusal to give sci-fi movies the time of day, a genre i've never enjoyed much, hadn't stopped me from wanting to understand it all these years.

Another thing that kept me on my toes all month was the promo for Challengers starting, which releases in theatres next month!! I can't believe we're actually getting a love triangle on screen where ALL corners touch. What a monumental event in history indeed.

Also, special mention: Swann Arlaud, Twitter's It-Boy of the Month!!! Well, at least my TL is flooded with pictures and interviews of him, which I'm actually not mad about, not mad at all.

Bars

Usually March is a really tough month, one full of despair and stress. While that was still the case this year, I tried balancing it out by spending more time with friends. It's been lovely spending long Friday evenings in bars, even if I did feel a little distant at times. Strange how one can feel dissociated in a large group and yet still feel like they belong - it only starts being unbearable the moment you begin to feel like an anomaly that is entirely out of place. Our brains work in fascinating ways; regardless, I'm just glad to have spent more time outside of my home. Is this what enjoying my youth feels like?

Skincare

I only properly began about a week ago, but i've been having so much fun establishing, or rather enhancing my skincare routine. I used to brag about not taking care of my skin at all, which looking back was absolutely tragic. Now I'm very pleased with how far I've come in terms of taking care of my own body, at least with this little routine I have.

Music

I've been finding so much new music lately!! Over the last two weeks, there genuinely hasn't been a day where I didn't find at least two songs to my liking. Been listening to a ton of German music as well as any other genre I can think of - from rock, alternative/indie to hip-hop, rap, techno, pop, just anything that comes my way. Here are some of my favourites from this month:

babybreath - Lovesliescrushing Tommi - AnnenMayKantereit Junge - Die Ärzte Another life - PinkPantheress, Rema Subterraneans - David Bowie alone - Cavetown Tumblr Girls - G-Eazy, Christoph Andersson Will I See You Again? - Thee Sacred Souls Beautiful Boy - The Last Dinner Party Cellular (Live) - King Krule Leben leben - OG Ti Philadelphia - Matt Maltese, Searows Pretty Girls - Reneé Rap Am Weg in die Villa - BIBIZA Too Sweet - Hozier Never Wanted To Dance - Mindless Self Indulgence Lottoscheine - AnnenMayKantereit i like the way you kiss me - Artemas nichts - makko Souvenir - boygenius Ssaliva's entire discography

Books

I read How To Get A Girl Pregnant by Karleen Pendleton Jimenez, a memoir of sorts about a queer butch woman trying to get pregnant, and oh my god. The grip that book had on me was unbelievable, it simply felt so distinctly human and helped ease my anxiety about my future as a queer person a little. It's advice that straight parents cannot give their queer child, and I couldn't help but soak it all up. It's available online in pdf format, btw.

Also, I finally finished my third reread of my first All the Young Dudes copy that I started reading in November I believe? I'm afraid those characters, that story, and that fandom will always be a part of me, as it's been three years now and my fixation isn't waning one bit. Forgot to mention that I began reading The Secret History after putting it off for literally a year or two, which I'm very excited about. So far it's incredible, however pages 44 and 45 left such a deep pit in my stomach that I had to put it down for a few days. Hopefully I'll be done with it by the end of April, as next month may be the most stressful of my entire life so far lol...

Special mention

The forcemasc tumblr tag has taken over my body and mind. Not sure whether I'm willing to go into more detail, but i just. i just. i. holy fucking shit. Never has anything validated my gender identity along with my sexuality more than that goddamn tag.

A quote that defined my month

[aenesthesian]

“I’m almost never serious, and I’m always too serious. Too deep, too shallow. Too sensitive, too cold hearted. I’m like a collection of paradoxes.”

— Ferdinand de Saussure

[aenesthesian]

Neurodivergent culture is occasionally shuddering violently for no reason

[aenesthesian]

how does one use tumblr i‘ve only ever searched for sims 4 mods on here

[aenesthesian]

it’s truly them against the world

post war wolfstar <\3

creds @likeafunerall on insta