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Selina's type? Cat-like

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what if i made Batman acesexual and gave him a very complicated relationship with his playboy persona revolving around how people treat attractive people and the assumption that all men enjoy sex huh? what then?

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#TheSuperbatCut

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Alfred felt as though it was incredibly inappropriate for a butler to accompany his young master to any sort of gala or gathering so Bruce had to get used to being by himself very quickly at a young age

Due to being left all alone when he would usually be with his parents, Bruce was put in increasingly unsafe situations over and over. Most of the time, there was no safe adult for him to feel comfortable enough telling. And if there was, how would he know they were safe?

He could tell Alfred, but what good would that do? Alfred has told him time and time again that he is his employee, nothing more and nothing less. Alfred cannot help him. Alfred cannot save him

Alfred doesn’t want to

I believe that at a very early age, due to how most of the socialites and rich people are in Gotham, Bruce had to get used to unwanted stares, touches, and advances

And he’s so pretty. He’s been so pretty ever since he was small, even with his parents alive they had to work hard to keep him safe. To keep others away. To draw a hard line in the sand for what is acceptable and what is not. But now they’re gone and he’s trying to keep himself safe. But people always want to touch, take, possess, and destroy pretty things

But all of his children are pretty too.

With all of his kids he makes sure that they’re as safe as can be, unlike how it was with him

The first time that he brings Dick to a gala, he holds the boy the entire time. Dick’s face is mostly tucking into Bruce’s suit jacket, shielding him from the flashes of the paparazzi and unwanted stares. Especially with his ‘exotic’ heritage of being Romani… it’s a recipe for disaster in Gotham

Bruce refuses to let a single person touch Dick, even socialites that he trusts. He knows how quickly someone you trust can turn on you once they realize you’re vulnerable.

He keeps Jason by his side as well. Gotham high society hates anyone who didn’t grow up rich. Is he’s not by Jason’s side, he makes sure Dick is. Dick can now fend for himself, but Bruce always makes sure they’re in his line of sight.

Tim has been to these parties before, and considering how negligent his parents were… Bruce makes sure to tell Tim that he would never be mad at him for anything that happened and he is not to blame. That adults should have protected him and saved him. He tells Tim all the things he wished someone had told him when he was younger. They hug and cry about it.

He’s always so thankful that Stephanie never wanted to go to galas as mean as it makes him sound. She never had to be subjected to the cruelties of adults who had no business leering after young girls. Now that she’s older and sometimes pops in if Tim’s going, Bruce knows that they’ll protect each other.

Cass is strong and smart, but she’s also very very new to this life and more vulnerable than the rest of his kids. Bruce wishes he could give her a sense of normalcy. It’s just another thing that’s he failed at.

He knows that if push came to shove, like the rest of his children, she would not hesitate to defend herself. But there should be no shove. She shouldn’t have to. Bruce dances with her all through the night every time she decides to grace a gala with her magnificent presence. It keeps her happy, it keeps her away from harm

His youngest baby is a fire cracker, ready to take on anyone and anything that could possibly be perceived as a threat to him and his family. As much as his other babies joke that he keeps Damian nearby to stop him from stabbing people, he doesn’t want anyone to look at Damian.

Damian is barely older than he was when he returned back to Gotham high society. The only difference is that Damian now has him and all of his siblings. It’s still hard to let go, even if he knows his children are there to keep an eye on everything

Duke is very similar to Jason in more ways than one, epically since he was also born on the ‘poorer’ side of Gotham that most elites loathe unjustly. He’s seen it before, even with high standing black families. Being suddenly accused of stealing a watch or pickpocketing an expensive pearl necklace. Lives ruined simply because of the color of their skin

Nothing like that will ever happen to Duke in his presence. Bruce knows he can’t protect Duke from all the racism in the world, but man if he doesn’t want to try

Bruce has never let his family deal with his issues. He believes he’s simply not worth the trouble. So whenever he gets hit on at galas in ways that make him uncomfortable he just fakes a smile. When he feels unfamiliar hands touching him and grabbing at his body, he fakes more smiles and leans into if there are too many people watching.

Just as he’s about to make an excuse, any kind of excuse to finally get away and take a breather, Dick suddenly pops up in front of him while he feels Jason and Duke slide up behind him, pushing away the elites that had circled him

Bruce makes a soft confused sound, trying to figure out what was happening, but then Damian’s tugging on his sleeve and he already has his baby in his arms. The whirlwind that is Tim and Steph together sweep him away from the confused group of elites.

The group makes their way back over to where Cassandra is smiling expectantly, giggling softly at the confused expression on Bruce’s face.

“Dance with me?” She requested softly, knowing that Bruce would never refuse her. Bruce squeezes Damian to his chest before handing him over to Tim, which Damian surprisingly doesn’t protest

Bruce takes Cassandra’s hand and they dance around the ballroom floor with ease, over and over one of Bruce’s children came and swept him away before anyone else could get the chance

“Don’t worry, we got you Dad.” Dick smiled softly as Bruce spun him around before being passed over to Stephanie and Damian.

“I know.” Bruce chuckled, feeling so safe for the first time in a long time. “I know.”

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am i just posting any superbat panel i see? yeah pretty much

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I feel like when Bruce first took in Duke he made a very big point of learning how to do Black hair-- and I mean, he WORKED FOR IT. He spent like a thousand dollars on supplies, learned what every possible Black haircare product does, learned 14 different braiding patterns and styles, figured out which ones would be most efficient for patrol and most comfortable under his helmet, probably started listening to soul music at some point during this process-- it was a whole thing.

And when Duke finally moved into the manor and realized that his bathroom was fully stocked with eight different kinds of conditioners, fifteen picks, twelve containers of edge controller, one of those old Hollywood Beauty Tea Tree Oil bottles, etc., he just sorta turns. And looks at Bruce. Who is standing in the doorway very nonchalantly proud of himself for being a good dad. And Duke slowly raises his hand and points at his head. Which has been shaved since well before they met. And Bruce just kinda stares back because, somehow in his weeks of preparation he didn't consider that. And even if he did have hair that needed to be styled and cared for, Duke is like 16 and definitely knows how to do that on his own at this point in his life.

And they just keep staring at each other.

Until finally Duke says "... I think I brought my own durag."

And Bruce just kinda nods and he's like "that's cool. I uh. I'll be. In my office."

And then he goes to the Batcave and stares at a wall for three hours while Duke sends a picture to the sibling groupchat and they all tell him that Bruce just has a thing about babying his kids, he kinda can't help it, he's doing his best, so Duke leaves everything there.

(Eventually, he does start growing out his hair a bit, and on occasion lets Bruce sit him down on the floor and do his cornrows and put little yellow beads at the end because it makes him happy.)

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superbattinson but they are very ‘naughty dawg and sad wet cat’ to me

idea by @tomatoshoup ur brain is so sexc lemme kith muah muah <3

Inspo under read more

Original meme pic:

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Clark is usually very patient and never judgmental, especially when he's in his Superman suit and in League settings. But one time, he's just utterly exhausted. So much so that it only takes one dumb question from Booster for his filter to snap.

"Oh wow, an idea that bad and you still chose to say it out loud ? Bold."

The whole room goes silent, everyone too stunned to react. And then, for the first time ever, Batman lets out a real, actual chuckle.

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it's always "why is Bruce never wearing a shirt" and "why is that man walking around naked in the Cave" but legitimately when I got into shape you would've had to pay me to put on a shirt indoors. you start getting ab and bicep definition and your shame and self-consciousness completely disappear.

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okay but I actually do really wanna read about a situation where Bruce calls Aquaman in to the Cave to interrogate a fish from Gotham Harbor who was a possible witness in one of his investigations.

Arthur rocks up, squints at the fish, and then says “You know I can’t talk to fish, right? I just made that shit up when Barry asked me.”

Bruce:

Arthur:

Bruce:

Arthur: “Okay you got me, I’m just fucking with you, man. He said he saw your perp going north in a speedboat, twin engines, didn’t stop for a while.”

Bruce:

Arthur: “And also he likes your filtration system a lot.”

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“Jason wouldn’t want you to do this, Bruce,” Clark says, trying to stop Bruce from doing something Jason would very much want him to do (kill the Joker, barehanded and slowly).

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I just had a thought, fueled by the fact I have a fever probably.

Bruce, Batman, is very mom-coded.

Tony, Iron Man, is very dad-coded.

They should platonically co-parent.

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If the batkids watched Bruce's life from beginning to present, it would be hilarious to see how his paranoia looks like he knew the future.

Alfred: Master Bruce, why would you need to be able to write with both hands?

Kid Bruce, one month before he breaks his right arm: I won't be able to do anything if I lose my dominant hand. And what if it happens :(

A few years later:

Some master in a specific field: Why would you want to learn how to communicate through whistling? You'll never need it.

Young adult Bruce, a few years before this skill saved his life somehow: You can't know that. What if I need to know how to do it, but I never learned how. I won't risk it.

And the batkids watch themselves asking him why he knows some niche knowledge and then saying: No, that's stupid, why would I wanna learn that? Keep your paranoia to yourself.

A short time later, that niche knowledge saved everybody's live while the batkid wasn't looking.

Is this hilarious to anybody else? No? Ok, I'll go now.

listen, if you think everything is gonna happen to you eventually some of it will

i just like to think of the smug look on Bruce's face when one of his skills comes in handy while Alfred is looking at the mountain of skills gone unused like "Ah yes, sir, even a broken clock and all that"

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Imagine pissing off Superman so badly that he and Batman completely switch the tone of their respect visual motifs. Superman’s light and sun becomes blinding, burning, to the point that Batman’s endless night becomes safe and welcoming. You hide in Gotham because you think it’ll ward off even the Last Son of Krypton, because even the worst of a cursed city’s shadows are better than Superman’s full fury.

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Bruce being a pretty face that he is, would of course gain lots of attention. Besides having tons and loads of money and having a surname known in the entirety of Gotham.

Every event and gala that he'd casually walk in, there's already maybe 2-3 people hovering over him, trying to swoon him over and seduce him.

maybe about 2 meters away, 4 people are already eyeing him. Seeing how they'd win him over, how they would capture their prey.

Meanwhile at the manor, the Wayne kids are the ones who have to deal with the bombardment that these suitors are doing towards their father.

Dick: Okay so some weird mf just sent a whole ass bouquet in front of the manor's gates...

Jason: Yeah lemme guess is it carnations?

Dick: no, it's peonies.

Jason: Oh okay, so that's fron that one CEO from the outskirts of Gotham.

Dick: Wait you got them all memorized?

Tim: well I mean yeah, some of us here even got some bet going on from how long will it take for each and everyone of then to stop sending shit.

Duke: no kidding tho, some fucker decided to drove a whole ass drone with it carrying a package and before it could even reach the boundary of the manor, i exploded it to pieces.

Steph: one time I thought i was gonna be cornered while i was going home, but then turns out it wss one of them suitors, asking me to give Bruce his gifts. I just nodded, he went away then I threw the whole thing to the trash bin.

Cass: A car stopped in front of me on my way home and it even gave me a lift. Then before I could got off of the car, the guy beside me asked if I could give Bruce the perfume he has sent for him. I gave it to the homeless man.

Dick: Why would you, a trained assissin and a vigilante would just randomly accept an offer from a stranger????

Cass: my legs are tired from walking.

Dick: ??????EVEN CHILDREN KNEW BETTER THAN ACCEPTING A STRANGER'S OFFER?

_________________________

Meanwhile

Damian whispering while observing the surroundings: You got the thing?

Clark: Yeah got it here. (Hands over Krypto)

Damian, trying not to coo on the spot: okay. So, all I need to do is convince Father,right? Saturday night, at the daily planet tower, 10 pm sharp?

Clark: Yep! And could you hand him over this? (Hands over a little gift)

Damian: you need an added payment.

Clark: fine, 2 week visits to the farm, with free access to every animals.

Damian: deal. I'll make sure Father won't be able to resist this. Pleasure doing business with you.

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by @Summer_Chill14

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Bruce, who has a problem expressing emotions because he was teased for them in school as the "crazy Wayne kid"

Bruce, who used to clutch Alfred at night and wet himself due to his nightmares.

Bruce, who got flashbacks till his mid-twenties everytime he walked down an alley.

Bruce, who would hug a weeping Dick Grayson and stay with him until the night terrors were over, humming a soft lullaby that Bruce's mother sang for him

Bruce, who hardened his mouth and his life to keep the anger in check after Jason, because he knew if he didn't every criminal would pay.

Bruce, who sees Damian chopping up shrubbery and thinks "I was far worse as a child inside, it's a good thing he's letting it out"

Bruce, who can't walk by a homeless child in the street without calling his special Wayne Foundation liaison (who he keeps on speed dial) and asking her to find "one more spot"

Bruce, who sees Selina petting kittens and robbing the rich and thinks "if I could have had a life with her, that would have been nice"

Bruce, who looks at Cass' x-rays and sees her knit bones and swears to god he will break the bones of whoever's responsible for her upbringing

Bruce, who gives Tim projects that he himself can do faster because he sees attention-starved Tim trying to please him

Bruce, who looks at Clark smiling and thinks of what he can buy for his birthday to make him smile just like that.

Bruce to his parents in their graves after not being able to catch a criminal: I'm sorry. I've failed you. I'll try harder.

People who don't know Bruce: why is that man so unfeeling.

Bad DC writers: idk just that way i guess