adricncooper-blog

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Haley Webb & Drew Roy telling stories, by Shane Coffey

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Adrian: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?

Aaron: You are a danger to society.

Ashton: And a coward. Do twenty.

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text message: reagan & adrian.

REAGAN: yeah that's fucking hilarious

REAGAN: really you're a comedian

REAGAN: fuck off, don't text this number again

ADRIAN: i mean, i know i'm funny, you don't have to boost my ego that much though.

ADRIAN: are you always this charming??

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Catching the clutch, Adrian immediately opened it, knowing there’d be some sort of snacks inside. “You know you got this whole mom thing down, keeping snacks in your purse for people and shit.” Adrian commented as he pulled out one of the small finger foods. Picking up the bottle with his free hand, he looked at the label, pretending he knew what it was. He knew what whiskey was, vodka, he knew the names but when a wine was named after something fancy, he didn’t know the first thing about it, he’d rather the bottle just say, wine. “You really are my dream girl, wine and dining me.” He joked, “So why did the beautiful Mrs. Maya have to run away from the crowd? Got a little too much?” Adrian asked, looking to his side to look at the girl. 

“So, here catch this.” The clutch that Maya was carrying, thrown in Adrian’s general direction as she settled the bottle while holding a glass of non-alcoholic cocktail that the bartender was ever so kind to make for her. “I have no idea what it is, but I’m guessing it’s some kind of alcohol? You’re welcome.” Maya was quick to settle in Adrian’s little nook, her dress rustling as she straightened the creases. “Nice place you’ve got here. Thank you for the address; turns out, this is just what I needed for a few minutes. And open the purse, I think you’ll like what I’ve got here for you.” @adricncooper

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text message; ANNALISE & adrian. 

ANNALISE: good you should cry. it’s very sad and tragic and i’m sure mom isn’t gonna be too pleased to find out so prepare yourself for that as well inbetween your weeping.

ANNALISE: i’m so glad you’re getting laid. i would just rather not know about it.

ANNALISE: jealous? please. as if. my sex life is going fine. i’m just classy enough to not broadcast it to my sibling my accident but i could tell you if you want. a scar for a scar.

ANNALISE: YOU LITERALLY SENT THE SECOND MESSAGE FIVE MINUTES AFTER I ALREADY READ THE FIRST ONE YOU DUMB ASS!

ANNALISE: ps: i have some boxes that need moving…could you…help me? there’s a fifty bucks payment and a lunch in it for you.

ADRIAN: WOOOOW you’d tell mom?? you know she likes you more! she’ll probably force me to be in the next family photo with that kind of tattle telling. 

ADRIAN: i wouldn’t get mad if you told me about your rare sexual experiences. 

ADRIAN: ... i don’t believe you. don’t scar your brother, that’s not a sisterly thing to do. 

ADRIAN: THAT IS NO EXCUSE! YOU SHOULD’VE KNOWN BEFORE EVER READING THE TEXT MESSAGE THAT I PROBABLY DIDN’T MEAN TO SEND YOU A TEXT IN THE FIRST PLACE! 

ADRIAN: ps: i guess i can help you move some boxes as long as i get lunch. a weekly lunch. you have to take me out every Wednesday. 

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text message; EDEN & adrian. 

EDEN: it's more of a pinkish purple now, i think

EDEN: how about that new year!?

EDEN: one then the other or are we talking an alternating kinda situation?

ADRIAN: blue, pinkish purple, same thing. tomato, tamato, potato, patato

ADRIAN: i know how to go out with a bang.

ADRIAN: i’m talking, same time. multitasking. talent. 

text message: eden & adrian.

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text message: reagan & adrian.

REAGAN: Who is this?

REAGAN: How did you even get this number?

ADRIAN: wow, it's the love of your life, obviously.

ADRIAN: i'm pretty offended.

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text message; DARCY & adrian. 

DARCY: good to know you enjoyed the big 2 "O" 19.

DARCY: i figured as much.

DARCY: the sky's blue, grass is green, the sun is a ball of fire.

DARCY: and the yankees are better than the mets.

ADRIAN: who says it was enjoyable? 

ADRIAN: sometimes i wish i lived on the sun.

ADRIAN: oh fuck yes, bless you child. you made me proud. 

text message: darcy & adrian.

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text message; ELLIOT & adrian. 

ELLIOT: Way to make a second impression.

ELLIOT: This is Elliot. You're sister's neighbor?

ELLIOT: And are the Yankees even in season?

ADRIAN: i’ve always been much better at second impressions, you’re welcome. 

ADRIAN: elliot, ellie, ellis, ellis island, how are you? 

ADRIAN: they aren’t but they are making a lot of trades.

text message: __ & adrian.

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ANNALISE: i actually can't tell what color the sky is anymore because i washed my eyes out with bleach after the first message

ANNALISE: i'm using voice to text to send you this message right now

ANNALISE: i hope you're ready to pay my medical bills adri.

ADRIAN: here rest the eyes of my dearest sister, annalise. i had so much hopes and dreams for you hazel hues, so much more scarring to intake.... fuck imma cry. rip.

ADRIAN: but really, you can’t tell me i’m not living my best life.

ADRIAN: sorry you’re jealous.... 

ADRIAN: ps; i’m not paying for shit, that’s why i laid those bad boys to rest. if anything i should be refunded, you’re the one that read the text that was obviously not for you. didn’t you read the second text??? 

text message: anna & adrian.

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MAYA: and then wistfully stare at the bottle of stella in your hand, wishing I was the one drinking it? no. I'm going to sneak in a bottle of orange juice, and we're gonna drink that and then, i'll complain to you about my aches and pains

MAYA: apparently, it's not good for the baby's growth. And I do want some healthy babies.

MAYA: ooh, I have a kind of big purse and a distracted husband in the crowd. Give me about fifteen minutes

MAYA: c'mon, no way! it always just calmed down to the point where i was like, "nothing can touch me". kinda counterproductive.

MAYA: that's a terrible way to ask anyone out. Adrian, you really need to start working on your game. 😊 And I can't tell them to fuck off because they're not my friends, they're Matteo's. They came over for dinner last month.

MAYA: I'll give your ten bucks to Aaron, and you can pick it up from him later. You would not want a greasy ten dollar bill, and it's about to get greasy in my purse.

ADRIAN: i mean, if thinking about you while i drink anything with alcohol in it makes you feel better, i can ????? i just wannaaa drinkkkkkkkkk. ... ok... fine. i’ll take the orange juice and company of a pretty girl i can never have. 

ADRIAN: damn... who would’ve thought? coffee of all things?? i call dibs on being godfather! 

ADRIAN: get a move on it maya! i’m getting too lonely in my lonely corner of the world. 

ADRIAN: i’m naturally like “nothing can touch me!” even tho i’m a walking warning sign and when i smoke i get paranoid but at the same time there’s something wild about it, wild enough for me to wanna keep it up. 

ADRIAN: my game for your information, is decent, okay! that’s the perfect reason to be able to tell them to fuck off! they aren’t even really your friends anyways. tell matteo you were dared, he’d get just how cut throat dares are. 

ADRIAN: you’d be surprised to know that i would take a greasy 10 bucks. wHAT SNACKS ARE YOU STEALING? 

text message: maya & adrian.

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text message: maya & adrian.

MAYA: I am not supposed to drink alcohol. the downside of being pregnant, along with the million other things. i can't drink coffee. Can you believe that?

MAYA: and don't give me the 'you're bringing life into this world' stuff. No.

MAYA: but my feet could definitely use those secret coordinates.

MAYA: and don't even suggest that! I've tried weed in college, and then I just stopped. Turns out, I thrive off panic.

MAYA: Don't hush me, I'm not a horse. And we're texting. And I can hear the Maddisons coming over. I am not ready for this conversation.

ADRIAN: you don't have to drink it! you can just bring it to me. ... you can't drink coffee? what would happen to the baby? would it grow up only drinking it's coffee black??

ADRIAN: you really think i'll throw that type of wisdom at you? i'll piss and moan with you, that's what i'm here for.

ADRIAN: ok ok, find a way to bring food, drinks for me ok, and then you can come chill in the hideout.

ADRIAN: wanna know something wild? sometimes weed makes me more anxious so we might have something in common, thriving in panic.

ADRIAN: you jump from subject to subject just as much as me. if you weren't taken, you'd be my dream girl. tell the maddison's to fuck off, i dare you. i'll give you 10 dollars, that i probably will ask for from my brother, but still.

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i wish i was stoned and receiving oral sex

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every time i planted my roots i had to rip them out. i do not settle any more. i do not believe in homes. i do not stay - i go; i leave; i disappear. i do not come back; i arrive never the same, forever unsettled.

marina v., too much of me is scattered on this earth. (via bolshoitsarina)