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hey boss I gotta take the day off yeah no i just gotta take dabs sorry

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"it's inscrutable" maybe to you it is. I scrute it all the time

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The funniest one star review of Wicked I've seen so far

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i love truck stops in winter bc i love a little good old fashioned reconnaissance. i’m at a wyoming truck stop eating taco bell with a bunch of random truckers discussing road conditions like we’re in a high fantasy tavern & inn and we’re warning each other about monsters and highway men. everyone talking about where we’re coming from and going to and how bad it’ll be getting there.

THE tallest man i’ve ever seen in real life just stopped me in the hallway by the coin operated laundry apropos of nothing and asked “which direction are you going?” i said east and he said “good” and walked away.

i caught up with him and asked why and he said “west’s no good right now. i just came from there.”

apparently a truck jackknifed and has traffic backed up ten miles but he sounded for all the world like he just found his village raised to the ground by an evil mage’s army

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batman & joker are married

[twitter]

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can’t get over how fucked the three city blocks of Baldur's Gate we explore is. vampire den, mummy lord, hag lair, no less than two cults, haunted mansion, a demon lord whoring it up, evil clowns. is the rest of the city normal. why do they have a Spirit Halloween district.

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Richard Siken… Richard Fucking Siken. You asked RICHARD SIKEN if his poems were inspired by BUDDIE. Gay men do not exist in people’s heads except as props huh?

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this is so fucking funny I love sharks

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Ants are a form of thing, known for travelling in cliques. They are small in size, unknown in color, and bashful in temperament. Every ant has two appendages they use to hurt other beings, and four appendages for other activities. Scientists have discovered many types of ants; gay, Protestant, electric, and chill. Their wealth is considered low.

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MY ULTIMATE CREATION

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So far the only game I've wanted to stream has been Sunless Seas, and streaming it as a deeply in character captain of the ship.

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Dead Mount Dead Play would do numbers in 2005, it would compete with Death Note and D Gray Man for the heart of the emos of this world