adhd-grantaire-blog

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here is a star for everyone who’s not feeling their best today (🌟)

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Witches from around the world🌙

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fabric asks ✨

silk: what’s your favorite type of tea?

cotton: what’s your favorite time of the day?

satin: favorite state of the sky? 

chenile: moon, sun, or stars? 

velvet: what’s your ideal date?

linen: what’s your favorite quality about yourself?

nylon: if you could spend a day with anyone who would it be?

chintz: do you believe in love at first sight?

eyelet: what’s your favorite place? 

velour: favorite rose color? 

wool: what’s your “type”?

jacquard: sea, forest, mountain, or sky?

jersey: do you have any regrets?

corduroy: favorite cliché/trope?

lace: what is your favorite constellation?

polyester: do you enjoy parties?

rayon: favorite fruit?

fleece: does anyone make you feel “warm” inside?

chiffon: dawn or dusk?

terry: would you ever get a tattoo?

damask: ideal city to live in?

hemp: what’s your favorite flower?

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concept: an austen-inspired tabletop rpg where there are five classes

single man in possession of a large fortune who is in want of a wife

young woman with low connections who must marry so that she can secure her future

cad whose main goal is to convince someone to elope with him

wealthy, scheming woman whose goal is to ruin the happiness of the aforementioned young woman

tiresome & vulgar elderly busybody (can be either a man or a woman)

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ncentineo: That’s non of my business - @bryant 

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a selection of the signs that are on the walls of the j/b/m + r household:

‘yes to spaghetti no to cishetti’

‘it has been fifteen ZERO days since our last piggyback-related disaster’

‘PLEASE USE THE HAND SANITISER PROVIDED OR JOLY WILL WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE SLEEPING AND TENDERLY SMEAR HAND SANITISER ALL OVER YOUR FACE THANK YOU’

‘free hugs! :)’ (on the fishtank)

‘lost property department, for bossuet’

‘This Week’s Pun Tally Is: joly - 6, grantaire - 9, lesgles - 3 (seriously dude your name is a pun how are u so bad at this), chetta - 10′

‘This Toaster Is Currently Not Functional’ (this sign used to be on the toaster but is now on r’s bedroom door)

‘all glitter bomb events must take place in the DESIGNATED GLITTER ZONE’

‘this entire flat has been officially certified as the DESIGNATED GLITTER ZONE’

(on the doormat) ‘beware of the gays’

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self care is putting yourself to bed on a regular schedule because it’s the base treatment for mood disorders

there’s no twist or anything it’s just really really good for u to sleep at consistent times

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a brain dump about gender that got too long to be a thread of tweets like i thought it was going to be:

me, every time my gender does a more masc thing and my dysphoria significantly Heightens and i think about maybe trying out he/him pronouns as secondary pronouns as well as them/they, just to see how it feels: yelling in the void loudly with uncertainty !!!!

it like, makes me feel very Panicky? and !!!what?? bcus i'm very Sure and Secure and happy in my nonbinaryness in general always, and then feeling a bit masc/boy too happen and i'm like '??? what if i'm more Boy than i though??? how can i not know this about myself?? why don't i always feel like this?? what' because every time my gender tilts towards masc i 100% at first ALWAYS forget that i Know i'm demifluid n transmasc and that my masc feels are Part of my nonbinaryness too (for me my demifluidity works in like, my gender is always statically nonbinary, but also it's sometimes there's a varying-sized side order of More nonbinary!! OR or of boy/guy/big masc energy feels- i used to get a side order of fem sometimes too, but i haven't for so long that i feel that at this point, fem just isn't part of my gender anymore?? shrug emoji idk)

also i feel like my gender goes in phases of like... activeness?? like sometimes i'm just, plodding along with that Dormant!nonbinary gender, like yup this is me, cool, i hardly think about it or gender in general but i know myself and n i'm just. a chill trans living my life. n dysphoria sucks but i just try not to think about my physical being at all where possible and get on with life.

and then other times my gender is like, Active!nonbinary/Active!nonbinary boy and i'm just hyper aware of my gender and the way i am perceived in a gendered way and my physical being and my dysphoria is crippling and Awful (and varied, depending on if i'm feeling super nonbinary, or regular nonbinary with side boy) and i can't not think about it, but also gender euphoria, when it happens, is more noticeable and great!

idk ??? yodels anxiously?? gender is difficult and weird to think about and dysphoria sucks and i am very very impatient to start hormones, i wish being on t was already a reality for me rn i'm just so antsy to start relieving the consistent dysphoria i have (mainly around my voice n face puppyfat/structure) and start being able to explore all the stuff i'm still unsure about (facial hair?? body hair?? general body shape?? societal gender perceptions?? stuff that changes/affects sex??) properly rather than just theoretically speculating about it in my head indefinitely??

okay cool this was a longer stream of thoughts that i expected it to be and kinda now too long to make into a thread of tweets like i was going to WHOOps

i feel like maybe i should still post it online though?? i always feel too anxious to talk more publicly about gender stuff when it surfaces for me bcus it's very personal and my hyper-critic in my head is like 'lol no one cares?? also what are you even trying to say anyway? ur just rambley and dumb stfu' so i don't even try, but i've written this now and i know my hyper-critic is a Jerk so...

throws this out into the internet void

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i love comforting nihilism. who cares, we’re all gonna die. eat that cake. buy that eyeshadow. be nice to people. you dont owe the world shit. the stars dont care about what we do. give anyway because why spend your eighty years on this rock miserable and making other people miserable. the sun is going to blow up and we’re all gonna die someday. make the most of what time you do have. use the fine china for taco night and microwave lunch. smell the flowers. tell a stranger they are beautiful. 

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I’m ok. I’m gonna be ok. I’m gonna live a beautiful life and I’ll get to know beautiful people. I will create things of beauty and be surrounded by flowers. And I’ll love myself, and I’ll be soft, I’ll be kind. And I’ll be ok.

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I got my heart broken and I survived, I failed 3 courses in university and graduated, I got rejected in the very first job I applied for and got promoted yesterday, I went through hard times with my family but then two years later, we laughed our hearts out over lunch, The closest friends disappointed me several times but I made new friends and loved them with all my heart. I did it once, I can do it again.

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there’s a lot of unspoken pressure to keep liking the things you used to like and to keep dressing the way you’ve always dressed and to never question what you believe in and basically “be yourself” has slowly morphed into “be what everyone knows you as” but trust me when i say if you just give it up and simply make decisions and take actions based purely on what would make you happy, you’ll gain a very comforting sense of self peace