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He found me crying

He crew too.

We both crode.

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Father’s teach their sons to be real men, mothers teach their sons how to be good men

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I wanna go back.

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You were born with you father’s eyes, your mother’s smile and their shared ability to talk well

You were handed down your father’s rage, your mother’s sadness and their shared ability of doing what it takes to forget about it.

You share your father’s humor, your mothers sensitivity and your existence is a reminder of the person they once loved

You got your father’s deniability, your mother’s projection and your existence is a reminder of the person they once, loved.

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I changed jobs and

cities, I hated holidays,

babies, history,

newspapers, museums,

grandmothers,

marriage, movies,

spiders, garbagemen,

english accents, spain,

france, italy, walnuts and

the color

orange.

algebra angered me,

opera sickened me,

charlie chaplin was a

fake

and flowers were for

pansies.

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Ghost

I’ve become a ghost

I’ve decided to take a backseat

To let everything unfold in front of me

I’m haunting my friends memory

I watch as they slowly forget the about the friend I used to be

As they mourn in memory, as they grief the person I used to be

They are forgetting about me.

I’m absent from everything around me

Grasping at the edges of my old personality

For even a little bit of individuality but the living dead don’t have disposition.

I don’t leave my bed

I’m practicing for when this illness finally gets its hold on me

The dead are very still in their graves

I’m already barely breathing.

I’ve been gone so long I linger in my old classrooms

They point to my school picture

“Remember that girl, what happened to her?”

My desk is cold and empty

My eyes are lifeless

My mind is empty

Theirs a quiet, a silence that makes me wonder if I came back to life things would be a little more easy

But this is it

I’ve picked my place

The graveyard is one stone less empty.

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Who tf got this photo of me

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I love you like it’s breathing, i kiss you like there’s no more air left in the world and the only oxygen is in your lungs.

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The way I used to be

By Amber Smith TW- SA, substance abuse

first book review 😝 THIS BOOK OMG. I felt it was hard to get into at first but once you get into it YOU GET INTO IT. The book starts out at the end of 8th grade for the main character Eden McCrorey and ends when she’s a senior, she gets sexually assaulted by her brother’s best friend who she grew up with. In this book Eden faces the trauma of the sa while also dealing with school, family and other problems that come with growing up. This book was honestly so beautifully written, But you will get frustrated with Eden multiple time throughout the book lmao. I think it’s incredibly easy to write off her behavior as unreasonable but I think it’s easy to understand where she’s coming from. Her relationships were a very interesting part of this book. I wish the author had taken a different approach with the way her relationship with her family was affected because there definitely was a lot of potential that wasn’t used. You will see this character fall apart, everything in Eden’s life slowly deteriorates and she just kinda adds to the fire. There are so many damn time where you think she’s getting better and she fucks up and trust I wanted to dnf this mf so bad but finishing the book was worth it. Her happy ending was well deserved. 8/10