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Pov: you are vincent

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It took so long 😭 (I wish I could do a better render but this is the top of my abilities for now)

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{Quotes marguaxpoetry on Instagram / Sarah Kay}

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I wanna go to the aquarium 🐠🪼🐚🐙

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oh i made a new batch of stuff recently, i'll sell them at angouleme christmas market (france)!! well, this also means, some photos of my babies during the next few days!!!!

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"Heart For Brains" by Roar / "We're In Love" by boygenius / "If Blue Could Be Happiness" by Florist / "From Eden" by Hozier

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my mother was a chronic smoker, going through six cigarettes a day and then some. for my entire life, it was a bad habit she never seemed to shake. her car smelt like ash and her breath smelt like those rancid cigs she smoked, but after a while it started to smell like home.

when i'm far away from her now, i smoke in the sweatshirt i stole from her closet so that when im too tired to remember my inhibitions, i can wrap my arms around myself and pretend that i'm a little girl again and she's holding me.

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Productivity Check:

Today for school, I outlined my essay and wrote 407 words for it. I also did a discussion post and studied for my midterms for two hours. I spent approximately five hours in the library working on various assignments - yay!

I also cooked some breakfast for myself, sorted some laundry, and am planning to wash my blanket when I get home this evening!

Overall, today has been a pretty good day in terms of getting stuff done. Hopefully, I'll have some more free time tomorrow to get some more housework done.

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i've slept with my window open since i was a child, because i wanted to see the stars before i slept. the stars were so clear from my childhood bedroom: bright and shining down through my blinds.

now, all grown up and 3,000 miles away from home, i still sleep with the window open. the not-dark sky leers down at me, starless from the pollution of the city. if i squint my eyes and look down to the streetlights, i can almost pretend.

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anticipated stranger, john ashbery

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from In the House With No Doors by Sarah Kay

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29/07/2023 - 00:17

i'm worried that no one is ever going to love me the way i love them. i know that i fall in love too quickly and too easily and it's something i'm trying to change so i can protect my heart, but i'm so scared that no one will ever love me in that way.

this fear only recently started to manifest. i've been reading stories about weddings and proposals and how in love people are with each other and with life and i'm so, so scared that i'm never going to be able to experience that. sure, i've loved people that have loved me in return before, but it's never lasted. something always changes between us, either time or maturity or distance and it's all so disheartening because i gave them my everything only to be left alone, again.

i just want to be loved.

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some student struggle meals lol! sometimes a person needs to eat two tubs of cherry tomatoes and an entire carton of take-out rice

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i'm getting a tattoo today! i'm super excited for it :D

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"la jolla" by wilbur soot / "bigger than the sky" by taylor swift / "garden song" by phoebe bridgers / "just for today" by clairo

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some more travel photos!