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high school au Cait with her lame ass crush on Vi:

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moral of the story: if you’re autistic enough you can fucking kill everybody around you with your special interests

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Idk how many times it has to be said but don’t put personal info about ANYONE tbh out there

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I think it would've been kinder for Spotify to call me a slur than whatever this is.

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Ik we meme on tbi thor a lot for his primary personality trait being Angry but tbf if my boss wasted untold time and resources on a project to the point where my friend who was working on it abandoned it and became a terrorist and then my brother got fucking exploded by said friend because my boss refused to shut down the work on it while it was actively being targeted by terrorists I would also spend most of my time fantasising about killing her with hammers

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Fuck I’m upset I looked into strawberry-crocodile’s callout and stuff and like.

She gets called a fucking “weirdo and a creep” for���

Like holy shit these people don’t care at all about actual harm done to the community, they just want to isolate vulnerable and kinky trans women (note the bitching about “hey transmisogyny?”) I’m sorry this is so fucking upsetting.

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transfem who dramatically flinches whenever you accidentally touch her skin: oh don’t worry about me i don’t need any love or attention, i’m fine. i’m fine.

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I know. I know I wasn't built right. The people who made me didn't know how to do it. And I'm missing parts and some are just out of date. But I did my best to rewire myself enough to work. Not as good as I should be but I still turn on.

Sometimes I'm a bit slow, and I don't think right, and I can't do all the things everyone else can do. I'm full of annoying glitches and bugs, and I'm such a mess of shambled together hardware and software.

But please don't throw me in the junk bin, please just tell me I'm still worth the effort to get working. I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying

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Was explaining some gender things to a straight cis friend today vis a vis gender presentation VS gender identity when it suddenly dawned on me with much the same horror as getting to work and realizing you left the stove on, that unless you've been immersed in a queer culture for some time you'd have no way of knowing that appearing androgynous/indeterminate/wildly gender-nonconforming is HOT

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the autism mood of never knowing when its “your turn” in a convo so you say the first word of your sentence about 5 times before you actually get to speak

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Arcane is a masterclass in body language and how to properly use it in storytelling to get your message to your audience without thunking them over the head/spoon feeding it them.

Caitlyn's relationship to Vi vs her relationship to others is a great example.

Caitlyn is almost always trying to create less distance between Vi and her or "fill the gap" between them:

Cait steps over the red line in Stillwater to show Vi the evidence

After Vi ditches Cait in the brothel to jump Sevika, Cait seeks her out and saves her from Sevika

When she gives Vi the medicine for stab wound, they're breathing each other's air

She reaches across the space between them on her bed to caress Vi's face

She chases after Vi following the Council meeting not going their way

Fairly certain, she was going to go look for Vi after her shower if Jinx hadn't kidnapped her

She seeks out Vi after her dad, more or less, says he doesn't want Vi in their house. Not to kick her out but to find some comfort in being close to her (i think this is why she pushed so hard for her to be an enforcer, to keep her close)

Cait also does a fair share of looking at Vi's lips, slightly leaning in, and second guessing herself all within a span of a blink

Vi asks Cait not to change (she already has), so she closes the gap between them, and they share their first kiss as a form of reassurance

She takes down Vi mongoose style and again starts closing the gap between them by betraying Ambessa and helping Vander

Cait slightly/momentarily leans towards Vi's lips when she's pulling the bag over her head

Vi spits in her face and wipes it TOWARDS HER MOUTH and not away

After Jayce shoots Viktor and Ambessa attacks, Caitlyn has ample opportunity to go after Jinx, but she focuses on Vi and covering her back until she gets sliced across the abdomen and then she runs to her to help her to her feet

Now let's look at how Caitlyn creates gaps and space with Maddie even tho they're sleeping together:

Beginning of episode 4, while they're sitting in bed, Maddie tries to close the gap and create some intimacy. Caitlyn, in turn, leans away from her, creating space between them

Maddie is also the one trying to initiate/create emotional intimacy, and Caitlyn swerves her each time

Maddie kisses/nuzzles Caitlyn's neck, and in response, Caitlyn has the quickest expression of "eugh" before fixing her face and moving away from Maddie

Instead of leaning into the intimacy Maddie is trying to give her, Caitlyn gets up to work on something and says she'll come to bed soon

Caitlyn lets Ambessa dismiss Maddie from the room after (more than likely) overhearing the discussion about restarting the council (I really think if this were Vi, Caitlyn would've pulled rank and told her to stay)

Maddie is also very absent from the rest of s2p2, and given how we've seen Caitlyn actively seek out Vi in her absence, she honestly doesn't seem to care where Maddie is or how she's doing

And none of this is explicitly told to the audience thru dialog. All thru body language. And i just think that's really neat

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At this point I am convinced some people are watching this show solely via the subtitle files, because that's the only thing that explains drastically misunderstanding everything that's not spelled out in dialogue to this extent.

Honestly some of the most embarrassing mass failure of media literacy I've ever seen. It's not even complicated stuff, it's basic text comprehension and story fluency.

- No, Caitlyn's "I know!" is not anger at being called out; she's saying she is very, very painfully aware of what she's done wrong. Watch it again.

- No she didn't take the guards away or go to the cell to have sex with Vi. TF?!?

It was Vi who initiated; Caitlyn was surprised she did.

She pulled the guards away to help Vi if/when she chose to do what she knows her well enough to know she probably would. Vi makes her choice - Caitlyn doesn't "let" her, she just supports it, because it's Vi's choice to make.

Vi has no idea she's done this until after, it doesn't affect her "agency" at all. That's not what any of those words mean!

- She did this as a direct acknowledgement of and response to Vi's previous criticisms.

You are supposed to be able to make the very, very minimal leap of imagination required to understand what the show is telling you here; that she is genuinely sorry, genuinely committed to getting her shit together, and that she has heard and received every word that Vi has told her.

The reason this gesture is so important is that it demonstrates she's now going out on a limb to put herself, her resources, and her privilege to work for the greater good.

And the reason Vi reacts the way she does is that she understands all of this immediately.

You should not need the show to sit you down and spell this out to you step by step Barney the Dinosaur style.

- She works very hard and sacrifices quite a lot to try to do right by people after fucking up so badly before, but not before very explicitly acknowledging that she can't undo the harm she's already done. And this isn't even an inference thing, she actually even says this bit out loud twice, and you still somehow missed it.

- For $5, what do you think the show was suggesting by having Sevika take up her seat, her final costume have no Enforcer uniform elements, and having her allude to an ongoing struggle. Come on, guess.

I am loathe to call people stupid just because some tv show stuff sailed over their heads, but... y'all are legitimately testing that. This is not exactly The Holy Mountain or something, it is very straightforward storytelling.

And just... I mean why would you be this loud about anything without making sure you didn't have it ass backways first?!? In public!?!? 💀

You guys, you have to watch shows to know what is happening in them.

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um hi, can we talk about how much gender envy i'm getting from the steam sale girl??

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Ok so I've been watching arcane and what a BAD ending.

The suicidal impoverished woman who wanted a family and endured trauma and poverty to become the symbol of hope for the poor and oppressed to get it killed herself. actively. even if it was to protect one person, she pulled the trigger.

The disabled suicidal man from poverty who couldn't see his use and hated his disability and decided to his life had no worth who tried to purge the world of humanity because he saw himself as a weakness killed himself to save the world from himself.

The woman who was born into an elite household who turned evil at the drop of a hat, gassed poor people for fun, and betrayed her girlfriend got married to the woman (that she betrayed and abused) and became more powerful

and that was their happy endings?!?!? what!??

anyway the three characters that suffered with suicidal thoughts killed themselves (Viktor, Jinx, Jayce) and that was presented as good and Catlyn was never punished for what she did.

awesome

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I would like to remind everyone getting all fussy about the "dirt under your fingernails" line from Vi is that psychologically, the meaning of the phrase "dirt under your fingernails" means "staying grounded, humble, and connected, to keep one's head out of the clouds, always keep one's feet on the ground, never get too caught up in one's self, spend some time on the front line."

By saying "nothings gonna clean me out" she means that she's going to stay connected to Caitlyn, this is basically a love confession from Vi. And its a line that fits Vi's character really well considering that for the entire show she's spent her time being caught up in herself, questioning the decisions she makes and her relationship with others (namely Jinx and Caitlyn). she's finally grounding herself, and I find that extremely poetic.

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i’ve absolutely loved the way vi’s appearance has been modified throughout this season.

in act 1, she retains her season 1 look, which could be seen as symbolic of an enduring self image of someone who must be unyielding and unchanging, i.e. someone who can protect zaun. this strength was borne of anger and grief surrounding the loss of her family, and her unchanged appearance makes clear that this vision of who vi believes herself to be still prevails. she becomes an enforcer after the attack on the memorial—not because she forsakes zaun, but because she believes she can’t protect anyone from jinx without the badge.

this is also the same hair she had when she first met and worked with caitlyn. we get the impression that she wants to be the same tough fighter who can keep them both afloat, but considering that vi seems most vulnerable in the presence of caitlyn—who causes her to suffer by persuading her to become an enforcer—we know this is futile. this theme is present during their first kiss, where vi almost buckles while caitlyn stands up straight.

then after caitlyn’s betrayal, a drastic change to her appearance occurs. she dyes her hair black and applies black eyeshadow, even black paint, to her face. she paints on a defensive facade to hide how vulnerable she is and her misery over making the wrong choice again and again and again. she tries to seem dangerous by making her rage visible but only ends up making her pain visible. hints of pink show through at the ends of her hair.

then jinx asks her to help her save vander, to overcome her lasting hatred for the hope of reuniting their family, and she actually does. she makes herself vulnerable again, and is rewarded by an unreal reconnection with jinx in the serene surroundings of viktor’s commune. she feels a flicker of hope that they might save their father. vi has the chance to forge a self-image that is not related to loss, and she seeks her younger self: the person who would put herself in harm’s way for her sister without a second thought.

then she bumps into caitlyn, who describes her as “an angry oil slick”. vi doesn’t respond with anger as she usually would—she just lets caitlyn see her. “don’t sugarcoat it, cupcake.” her dyed hair and shadowed eyes become a metamorphic signal. i believe caitlyn senses vi’s changing relationship with anger and is pushed to confront her own. she leaves her vendetta behind and defects.

in episode 8, vi’s hair is reverting back to pink and growing longer.

she goes to a locked up, grieving jinx and immediately opens her cage. vi’s transformation is almost complete; she has overcome the rage that made her reject powder all those years ago and replaced it with the desire to hold her sister even if her sister won’t hold her back.

succumbing to the loss of isha and vander, jinx traps vi in the cell and leaves, but it doesn’t matter. vi has become a force of love, not rage. caitlyn finds her, and reveals that she met vi halfway and allowed her to free jinx. caitlyn, too, has let go of her revenge motive. unlike vi, caitlyn’s appearance hasn’t changed, but she still expresses—through actions, not words—that she won’t let her anger control her any longer. she finally affirms her loyalty to vi. now on the same page, they kiss for a second time.

by the end of the finale, some remnants of vi’s transformation remain: her dark eyeshadow, her longer hair. she has come to terms with the things which she allowed to haunt her for a long time, but she must still learn what to do with her grief. she leans on caitlyn’s shoulder and accepts her support. interestingly, a physical change has at last found caitlyn, who wears an eye patch. after losing her mother at the start of the season she tried to remain unchanged and unwavering, but came to the realisation that her obsessive, grief-fuelled anger was obscuring her vision. her eye patch represents both an altered worldview and a newfound vulnerability; her skilled sharpshooting will definitely be impeded.

arcane teaches its characters that sometimes being vulnerable is not the same as being weak, and that attaining emotional clear-sightedness is a turning point on the path to self actualisation.

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very busy. i have to pace in circles for 6 hours. you understand