ace-beast

[ace-beast]

This is what it’s like

[ace-beast]

[ace-beast]

Okay, I realize this hilariously late for Asexuality Awareness Week (which was last week), but due to unforeseen stressors, it didn’t really get done in time.

Anyway! I’ve wanted to do something like this for a while, and I’m proud of myself of actually getting a six page comic done within a week. (Not that it’s really anything super fancy, but it’s better than nothing lol) I do apologize for the massive ugly text wall that is page four but I had a hard time figuring out how to convey it visually while being kind of pressed for time. oh and the occasional copy/paste, I’m sorry for that too

Enjoy! Click on the separate pictures if the text is hard to read.

[ace-beast]

Accidentally sent 'happy prude month!!🎊🥰🥰' to my asexual friend and now im gonna dunk my head in cement to become unrecognizable

[ace-beast]

[ace-beast]

I’m sure this will be passed around and shared here in the oncoming weeks, but this is an EXCELLENT discussion/essay.

I got here after the first huge surge of “discourse” so I’m not traumatized by the discussion of it, but for others, I think she does a great job of going over it all from a factual, historical standpoint that isn’t too triggering. Worth a watch whether you were a part of that or not.

[ace-beast]

Asexuality is a spectrum. No two asexuals are the same 🖤🩶🤍💜

[ace-beast]

I wanted to make this post because we don’t see a lot of asexual characters in western media and despite him being from a hugely popular show (Beach Hotel) you’re unlikely to know of his existence if you’re not from Denmark.

His name is Hjalmar Aurland and he’s one of the more sympathetic and realistic asexual characters I’ve seen. He lives in a time and place where asexuality as a concept doesn’t exist yet so he’s never labeled as such but rewatching the show made me realize that he acts exactly like the asexual people I personally know. Asexuality can mean a lot of things but his specific brand isn’t naive to sex nor is he repulsed by sex, sexual desire or thoughts simply doesn’t come naturally to him.

He can be convinced to have sex with his wife Helene but only if she appeals to their emotional bond. Just so you don’t get the wrong idea, he’s not being forced or emotionally blackmailed to sleep with her. It’s simply that he understands sex is a way to show emotional love too and he wants to express that love for Helene when it’s important to her, and seeing as sex isn’t unpleasant to him, just kinda boring, he’s willing to do that for her.

Unfortunately that isn’t enough for Helene and despite her love for Hjalmar she starts an affair with the dramatic and emotional actor Edward Weyse. He has a string of relationships, marriages and divorces behind him because despite what it may look like from the outside Edward doesn’t really want shallow sexual relationships. He just can’t help himself and keep falling in love with women left and right, fully and wholeheartedly, only to be dumped or dump them once the initial excitement has passed.

So Helene and Edward’s affair that was only meant to satisfy their carnal desires quickly becomes romantic. Helene feels torn between him and Hjalmar who she still loves and Edward understands the difficult situation they’re both in while also feeling jealous of Hjalmar. And Hjalmar? He doesn’t catch on for years. He’s not stupid but his brain just doesn’t jump to sex. He just assumes they’re good friends and why shouldn’t his wife be allowed to have friends, even male ones? Things get really complicated when Helene gets pregnant and she has to have sex with Hjalmar so he won’t wonder how it happened. Edward even has to join in on the seduction, reminding Hjalmar how much Helene loves him, even though it breaks Edward’s heart to do so.

But like I’ve said Hjalmar isn’t stupid. He saw the signs but chose to ignore them until one night when Helene accidentally says Edward’s name. It breaks the dam in Hjalmar’s denial and he has to face that deep down he always knew. Overcome by sadness and betrayal he wanders off into the night in nothing but his nightgown and gets a room at a different hotel where he can think in peace. Eventually he agrees to return to the first hotel with Helene and Edward and decides to take control of the situation.

He sits them both down and tells them that he understands that the three of them share a bond and that there are things he can’t really do for Helene so from now on he wants their relationship to be open and honest. He wants Helene and Edward to keep seeing each other and Edward is welcome in their house, but Hjalmar wants to be allowed to call Edward by his first name and makes it very clear that Helene and Edward’s children “belong to him” because he still thinks of himself as their dad and loves them as his own children. Both Helene and Edward agrees to it, though the emotional Edward is very flustered and confused by the acceptance and love he’s being shown by Hjalmar.

This is obviously a very tv drama situation but I was so stuck by how much Hjalmar acts like my asexual friends. Having a lover for your partner isn’t the most common solution but it’s an idea I’ve heard a lot of asexual people be open to under the right circumstances and of course that’s the most dramatic solution for a romantic tv drama.

Hjalmar is defined by so much more than his sexuality though. His main characteristic is his passion for social justice and equality, and other than some early show weirdness before they really cemented the characters, Hjamler is the only character who floats freely between the men and women. He’s just as likely to sit with the men as he is the women, often appearing in otherwise entirely female spaces. It’s never questioned or even brought up, not because he’s a “safe asexual” but because he cares and think their worries are as important as the men’s. He’s often called a pessimist by the other men when in reality he is determined to be hopeful and compassionate and spread the love he feels the world is lacking as WWII draws closer.

So yeah, I just wanted to share this sweet ace guy with you because you probably wouldn’t have known about him otherwise.

[ace-beast]

🖤💜 Happy international asexuality day! 🖤💜🐀

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity 🖤💜

[ace-beast]

Sucks that "sleeping together" refers to sex. Sometimes a fella just wants to snooze with a pal.

[ace-beast]

just heard someone pronounce aroace as a-row-chee. like an italian pasta. i'm still in shock

[ace-beast]

new zine about asexual history! this one's been rattling around my head for awhile

[ace-beast]

honestly my advice for people questioning if they're aro is kind of the same as my advice for people questioning if they're trans which is do less worrying about whether or not you inherently fall into this arbitrary category and do more considering what you want in and from your life. like ultimately deconstructing societal ideals of what relationships (or gender) should be like and figuring out what you want them to look like in your life is what matters and whether or not you experience romantic attraction is kind of immaterial

[ace-beast]

[ace-beast]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[ace-beast]

I think it’s incredibly important for young people to be able to think about their future, and imagine that they might be happy

And unfortunately, this is a feeling that is stolen from a lot of young aro people the second that they realize they’re aro

So I want to say it right now: You can be happy

You can have a queerplatonic partner. You can have a romantic partner. You can have the freedom of singlehood. You can be a virgin, or you can have sex. You can have kids. You can be childfree and just be the cool aunt/uncle/pibling. You can have a whole bunch of friends and a thriving community of people to hang out with every weekend. You can live all alone in the woods with your eleven dogs and your online crocheting business

There are so many options before you besides the typical “dating-marriage-kids” pipeline, and if you try to do what you think you’ll enjoy, I promise that you can be happy

[ace-beast]

Asexual flag color picked from the celibacy gif