aauditor - Tumblr blog

aauditor · 2 years ago

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hey guys uhh

haven’t made a post on here for a long time, been meaning to, but at the same time I didn’t want to come back to this hell site and.. relive some memories..

but, since that post I’ve had some ups and downs, but right now I’m doing okay. I don’t keep up on what’s going on in this website, but I’m on twitter (another hell site) and on artstation too (sometimes post there.

If you want you can follow me on twitter www.twitter.com/aa_uditor , my art account www.twitter.com/artofaauditor and message me there if you want, no pressure

I hope you all are doing well. I’m sorry for the terrible post before this one, and that I worried some of you. I’m still alive and I’ll try my best to keep living.

thank you.

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aauditor · 5 years ago

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for the past few weeks I’ve been feeling really down. I feel like everything that I have done to reduce my depression is being destroyed, and I feel like shit

I have always felt empty and dead. Since grandma’s passing this year, I am realizing that life indeed does not matter, at least to me.

I don’t deserve to live, let alone exist. I don’t deserve to be remembered. It’s ironic, because I wanted to change my name to “Afamefuna”, meaning “I will not be forgotten.” I wanted to assure myself that I matter.

In vain I have tried to distract myself, and be happy. I am not happy.

I’ve noticed that I’m less on social media, and that I’m not talking to my friends as much as I use to. It’s probably for the best. I don’t want to disturb anyone.

I’ve been wondering how I was going to die. Sometimes I hope that something would kill me, without me suffering.

I am tired. I want to die. I don’t want to live anymore.

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aauditor · 5 years ago

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“lol Android users be like-” your phone is designed to break down after a year, your apps are all programmed to draw unnecessary power after 2 years, all your accessories and hardware are arbitrarily made with only 1 kind of plug in mind so you can’t use them with anything else or get them from anywhere else, the cables are 150$ and break in a year, your phones will not charge if there is lint in the port, the stores will ask you for 150$ to remove that lint, the phone itself is 900$

But your chat bubbles are blue so that balances it out right

#im not gonna lie..#some android companies are following apple's footsteps #dont even get me started with certain pc manufacturers #samsung google are not exempt from doing what apples doing #and microsoft and huawei attempting to copy the macbooks is laughable lmao

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aauditor · 5 years ago

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I unsub from Gender™

I hate having a complicated relationship with my gender ugh

Seeing how many people are not approving of nonbinary people is only making it worse.

When I discovered that I was trans, I came out to my friends as agender. Seeing how the climate has gotten worse for nonbinary people of all types is demoralizing. I felt like I had to hide my nonbinary status, and stick to the label of “binary trans man” to make people think I’m “normal”. Trying to force myself into being binary made things worse, and gave me really bad thoughts like “I hate being trans”.

To this day, I feel like I can’t openly be nonbinary.

I am nonbinary. I have tried to convince and coerce myself that i am either a “cis woman” or a “trans man”. That “none of this is real”, that I “am faking it”. None of denying what I am helped me.

No nonbinary person should feel terrible about their identity. Nonbinary people must be free to live as themselves.

#gender #trans #nonbinary #transphobia #agender #genderqueer #nb #lgbtq #lgbt #feel free to reblog and add ur experiences #text #vent

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aauditor · 5 years ago

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https://www.reddit.com/r/somnivexillology/

#what on gods green flat earth is this post?????????

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aauditor · 5 years ago

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