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Wheels Spinning

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Three movements in time an’ space

A moment of your time, I pray, Whatever is a moment to anyone; A sense of senses sensing fine, I say, Is something I've never become;

A moment is eternity, just like, All the demons that I see; An' they dance around, an’ sing,      An' everything;

A song sounds like like a claxon; I may, Hear it come from inside; An' the melody's atonal, per se; Yet it stirs something up like pride;

A song sung in desperation, an’ yet, The words come out and play, Backwards, and can't ration'ly be vet-       -ted, no;

A sound that can be tasted, alright; It taste like fire razors, Finishing with bordeau wine, tonight; The pain's like pleasure flavour;

A taste in sound, bounced, Off the tongue, like kisses; Charred, as words are mispronounced,      And swingin';

A musical chorus touched my skin, Sent goosebumps up my arm; The feel of feeling anything again, An' my inhibitions disarm

A song feels hot, and cold; Touch it; feel it; Before we both get old,      An' re-encarnate

A colour is the music, I cannot describe; The only way's to view it;       Just try;       Is this time or space?       Misinterpret me your world;

* * *

Before long, we're wasted; You lay your head on me; I push it away; You say, you've got to get going, anyway; There's an early meeting tomorrow; You're expected; and people will be waitin’, an’ worryin’;

But, I light me my kind of cigarette; With a worn-out Zippo lighter; With an engraving of a vampire; And a flame that's ironically low; It's how I feel; it's how I don't;

Bright, I hold me my cigarette upward; To my face, an' I inhale extra deep; To maximize the time the smoke stays in my lungs; Maybe I can get a glorious cancer, For in its fate to hide;

By the door slam, I flick my kind of cigarette's ash onto the part of the mattress, that you vacated and think, that's all I need for now; We're all goin’ straight to Hell, anyhow; Might as well have a little fun while we can!

Baby sighs, descending moaning stairs, five flights, onto big, darkened street; She knows, deep down inside, she'll never hear me say her name again; And she's alright with it, I guess, Because she's going straight to hell, When she gets home, boy;

Bitch, what you gonna do, It's every man an’ woman an’ hurtful child for himself, Or herself; Survive, or die; No room for empathy; Survive, an' thrive, an' leave behind;

* * *

Cathartic, I lie on top of my covers; And the dark sky starts dropping rain; It drips outside my window; I remember when I'd go outside and play, In the puddles and love to feel it splash my face; Now it drips straight into my blood; (An’ clogs my heart)

Can't tell me there a reason; Can't tell me I'm not thinkin’ well; Can't tell me it's the season; Can't tell I'm living living hell;

Camino horns, a vagrant's vial, drug-hooked heart sound all the same; They creep into my window; And they fall across my bed at night, Squeeze into my scull; I might never go outside, Again;

Can't tell to eat something; Can't tell me drink some tea; Can't tell me get a shower; Can't tell me send out resumes;

Caught up in a time, and place, With no rhyme, or reason; No point in trying to dry my face, In oppresion, in suppression, in depression; (Here I am)

Can't you just let me die! Let me die! Your life depends on you Can't Let me die! Let me die! Inside

* * *

I've taken up enough of your time, For the final time, I say; You're an angel asleep inside the arms; Of a malevolent devil in, This time and space Type A.  Type B.  Type C. Five me.

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Credit: Star Trek The Next Generation/Paramount

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Ode to Spot by Data, 2369

Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature, An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature; Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.

I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations, A singular development of cat communications That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.

A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents; You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance. And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion, It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.

O Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array. And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend, I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.

From Star Trek: The Next Generation

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Real reality

In you skull-bone, an angel may sing, May flap a white-feathered wing, A lacen gown may flutter in a sky, This one, playing harp, while cherups fly by;

In your brain-meat, a good god may sit, Upon a brain-cloud, considering all it’s, Affirmative of some, disapproving of some, Rapturing, reincarnating, reifying, Rapturing, reincarnating, reifying; Halleluiah!

In your mind, inside, an afterworld, That’s better than what we can touch and can feel, With all our dead family members, And gardens of beauty fill minds full of wonders;

In your consciousness, you see the world you’re stuck in, In the time that is now-time, in your skin that is skin-skin; Yet, intellect gives way to subconscious lore,  And you tickle yourself... there is more;

In your soul, you believe in love; You feel a heart beat fast in the presence of, The one, certain Other, for which cried out destiny, To be together, forever, in eternity;

Yet, outside, there is... Outside, there is... Reality is oft unpleasant to think, Neverthless, real-reality persists; Without the devil a God can’t exist; This time-time, everything that is What is?  What is? Is this.

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Downup ⬇⬆

Heard you had to put your ol’ dog down, Hat in hand, an’ givin’ up;

You say you’ve been feelin’ down; An’ you need a pick-me-up;

Better get your story down; Don’t let on you’re makin’ up;

Why don’t you come on’ down, The cul-de-sac an’ pick me up?

You ask me to get down; But I can’t ‘cause I got up;

Help me put that bourbon down; Spin around, then throwin’ up;

Go down, go up, go down, go up, go down, go up, go down, down; Go down, go up, go down, go up, go down, go up, go down, down low

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Real real

It was a cold day, in hell; Well, that wasn’t the name, of that particular town; But, anyway, it shoulda been;

A little girl stood, with no one else around, with a posey in her hand, an’ her face in a frown; An’ a tear dropped down her eye; Only one, ‘cause her mother died;

An’ all around her, in the real square, was the rubble of the building, the concrete and rebar, a sandle over here, an’ over there, a teddy bear, from a boy she knew, no more;

An’ the parking lot, had overturned cars, some of them still on fire; Careful not to walk; Was the power still flowing, To the down electrical wires? Probably not;

There was dust in the air; It was getting in her hair, An’ stung her cuts, But she didn’t really care, About that, no; The part that stopped her heart, was the raining limbs, forearms and shins, an’ hands and toes, apart from their hosts;

In the war, in the war in the world world, She couldn’t move; She was stunned; An’ she would never emerge from the fear, In the real, real world 

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Love never quite

It ain’t no fair, cries a child; Well, that’s cause life ain’t no fair, hun, Says a parent’s mouth grinning something wild; It don’t get no better as life wears on; It’s no fair now everywhere, for everyone;

Don’t you know that, Love never quite wins?

An’ it’s true, you always gotta fight; An’ it’s true, it hurts just to walk about; So you cry yourself to sleep some nights; There’s a little bit of hope down deep inside us all; Let’s stick together, we can ride it out;

Jus’ when you start to say, That love will save the day, Even though reflected in the poor child’s eyes, The painful truth is, love never quite wins; The heart beats on through thick and thin; Silence he who speaks with wisdom!

You pin your hopes on a tomorrow; You find a cause to commemorate; Pretty words from a politician, fear to borrow, Make you feel like something better is imminent, On voting day, the people vote for more hate;

An’ if you ever start to say, That love is goin’ to find a way, Even though reflected in a poor child’s eyes, The painful truth is, love never quite wins; The heart beats on through thick and thin; Silence he who speaks with wisdom!

We’re following the leader; Put our faith in him; But he ain’t no good; He’s only a person;

When the whole world sings, I’ll be an ol’ man, hey; When even half the world sings, I’ll be old an’ grey; An’ it looks so cold in the dirty ground; Look for compassion

Don’t you know that, Love never quite wins?

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Thanks for the ride

Hey, friend, say, I’ve been thinkin’ a lot, About some things that I found out, but wasn’t taught; Got my brain, my heart, my stomach in a coiled knot, ‘Cause I done some things to you, I know; Now, I ain’t no Saint; But ain’t no devil in hell; I stay out ‘the way, mostly keep to myself; I try to fake a smile, as though everything is well; But then there’s sometimes, sometimes;

An’ when I said these things to you, it was really to me; Some days I hate myself so much, it’s just crazy; The words get tangled and confused; An’ I think, maybe, I’d take more than a few back, if I could; ‘Though I never hit, never kicked, never fought no one; Never carried ‘round a weapon, not a knife, not a gun; You know my chosen sword, my friend, was a sloppy tongue; And all my victims still spilled blood, just in the head;

Despite everything, I love you all; An’ I want the best for those who fall;

Though I look all petty and angry, I’m not really that tough, Chasing gold, ‘cause I have to; but the gold is never good enough; Life is a mountain; And I keep climbin’ up; And I’m nowhere near the peak; When I made my girl cry, I realized; It was never ‘bout her, but hatred of life; And deep, dark self loathing rattles ‘round my mind; I’d ask for forgiveness, but I don’t deserve the vindication;

What about you; You weren’t so innocent; You came back at me with vengence; Sayin’ all those things I say to myself; An’ they all make perfect sense; You didn’t miss a beat; An’ it burnt like hot coal; An’ it’s times like those that I hate myself,       So fully; An’ I want to die so bad it hurts my belly; Why am I allowed outside?  I’m toxic to society; An’ I cut myself to keep on breathing (don’t know why);

I know I look like a monster; I can see it in the mirror; But, despite everything, I love you all; Believe me or don’t, but I love you all; Thanks for the ride.

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