a-weeping-wonderland

[a-weeping-wonderland]

Will you?

I have a question,

Will you be my valentine?

And not just this year but every year,

Will you be my boyfriend?

My fiance?

My husband?

Will you be the father of my children?

Will you be the man beside me on my death bed?

Will you be the man to remember me and tell a bunch of stories about me to have others remember me too?

Will your soul meet mine when you die and will we be happy as ghosts?

Will you forever have me?

[a-weeping-wonderland]

I have nothing to offer you but my love, I was wrong to say you wanted to be loved by me, wasn't I? I want to love you though, I do. I want to be loved by you.

[a-weeping-wonderland]

It's all new but all the same, I'll reread my old work and fill in the missing pieces.

Is it generic? It was meant for someone else but you fit all the boxes and now you think it's for you

It wasn't but this sure is

It was supposed to be till the new year, new year new me and no you

Somehow you guilted me for a longer time

Can I even call this a poem? It more of a rant

Great.

You have me going on and on about you I almost forgot how to spell and articulate a sentence, I keep asking for advice but I can't give out too many pieces

They'd know and I can't have that.

My stomach twists and turns at you leaving, I remember all the things you've done and I can't stand it.

She said I'm strong and I'll get through it, it's been a while since she even asked how I was doing but what do I know, a day or two seems like forever to me.

She confirms my thoughts

I don't need you.

[a-weeping-wonderland]

I can never forget, the time I've spent, the things I've did; you did...The things we did.

I can never forget the things we did.

At all my chances to pull away I did only to come back and pin it on you for doing that.

No one knows what I've done, what we've done

It's all one sided, this love that you have too

To the outside your just a creep and your looks boost that image.

I'm the victim yet I hate to say that,

Advantage has been taken but I won't admit that.

Only I and God truly knows what happened and what's happening.

Only he knows what's going to happen.

I hope he's listening;

I've made a mess of things and I don't know how to fix it

I've cut him and myself at the same time, you can't tell who's blood is who's especially when we're both good at shutting everything off.

I've made a mess of things and I don't know how to fix it.

Can you please help me fix it?

-a-weeping-wonderland/Dawn Solance

[a-weeping-wonderland]

My regrets

I am forever traumatized.

Yes I said yes and let you,

Now it replays in my head all the time when I should have said no and yet I could not

Now I try to hide it and act like it never happened,

I know it's my fault.

Although I try to deny and pretend I didn't play any part.

I wish it never happened, and I wish it didn't replay in my head all day.

-A-weeping-wonderland/ Dawn Solance