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I want a hot shower but I’m too cold to get out of bed

😭😭😭

I feel soooooo bad.

Never sleep in the day but today I did alll day.

Shivering. Sore. Flank pain. So tired. Incredibly nauseous.

blah

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I feel soooooo bad.

Never sleep in the day but today I did alll day.

Shivering. Sore. Flank pain. So tired. Incredibly nauseous.

blah

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I mention quite a bit that I have fairly severe adhd.

What I don’t talk about as much is that I have this “triad” of Tourette’s, OCD and adhd.

So I’ve been told a lot that the reason I’m very very messy is my adhd.

I was talking to a psychiatrist friend and she told me that it’s actually a thing in OCD too!

Anyway… I bring this up as I have a rental inspection later in the week. They really stress me as I’ve actually failed in the past and had to have weekly inspections and meet with support workers etc to do welfare checks 🤦🏻‍♀️

I have to say my house is actually very nice now

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I loved Carrie fisher so much

She was such a badass, funny, clever.

I wish I’d gotten to meet her at a con.

She came to Australian but my friend and I weren’t travelling for cons in those days

She wrote books about her bipolar, addiction and even one about ECT. They helped me so much and I’d have looked to get a picture with her and get my books signed.

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Woo. Finally had my iron infusion. The GP said my level was shocking in May (4, which she said was terrible) (when I was actually meant to have this… but went into hospital for mania/paychosis, then there was a saline shortage, dr away, me having a million other appts going on etc etc) and she couldn’t believe I was able to do much at all right now and she fully believed I would feel as horrible as I do .

I also had a b12 injection and shw said that should help my memory problems

Go back in 6 weeks

Was craving Mexican so badly and never get takeaway but meh! Treating myself tonight!

(And one of my favourite things ever - orange juice!!

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- board games + lots and lots of drinks/cheese/takeaway

- coffee 🤌🏻

- Korean bbq + frozen yoghurt + staycation for best friend’s bday

Preeeeetty good

-

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Making socks for mum! (Controller for perspective) determined to finish for Christmas!!

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Feel revolting

Time to veg out on the couch and do some knitting while watching Netflix 👍🏻

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Can’t sit still.

F

M

L

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Feel like shit and just want to go to sleep ARHHGH

Agitated

Hot and cold

Itchy

Sad

Bored

Overwhelmed

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Bit of a rough day today .

I made Halloween snacks ( chocolate coated strawberries) for my art group and they just said they looked gross etc… someone shoved them in a cupboard and when I found them in the afternoon, they’d melted and we had to throw them away

Like… I would’ve just taken them home and eaten them 😭🤦🏻‍♀️

And a lady yelling at me for my Halloween top and being American.

Then there was some sort of violence/?stabbing outside

Look… I’m really really really grateful for subsidised housing. I love the location, the staff, groups and the fact that I can afford to live by myself.

But sometimes it’s really fucking depressing being told it’s too dangerous to use the scanner and printer right now at 11am because people are high and fighting.

Ugh… just… I guess I’ll try to sleep well and start fresh tomorrow. There’s a lot of good in my life, sometimes I just have to dig a bit deeper

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Am a very, very, VERY messy person (of which I’m not proud of, of course..).

I also have a bit of a phobia of checking my letter (to the point of almost never doing it).

But thank GOODNESS.

Randomly checked today and they had put a letter in today, notifying me of a rental inspection coming up…

Thankfully I’ve also been doing a lot of cleaning this week.

Phew!

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Debated getting popcorn.

Went with “nah”

Regretted my choice.

Went into the cinema and there were free small popcorn boxes on our seats!!!

It all works out 🥰

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Getting incredibly frustrated by some stuff with people.

And also.

Stayed with psychiatrist friend a couple of days ago and she kept asking if I thought I was manic

It irritates me when mum says that constantly..

But I guess she actually is qualified to be asking that??

🤷🏻‍♀️

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Feeling a bit blah and over it.

I was going to go for a run but it’s raining.

Thankfully I’m going to the movies tonight. And spending tomorrow with mum. Then the weekend is one of my FAVOURITE ever things to do; this club night where they play only musical theatre and the geeky crowd know all the words and dress up and get smashed while performing their hearts’ out 😂😂😭

Yesssss

I also did a huge clean of my unit (still lots to go but it’s an improvement) because one of my hugest problems with my adhd is a really really REALLY bad problem maintaining a neat/organised environment. Mum frequently brings up sending me to my room to clean and then coming in hours later to find I’ve obsessively sorted a tiny drawer 🤦🏻‍♀️

I also did work on a home portrait commission (I think it looks better when you see the original/inspiration)

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Wow.

Just wow.

I feel, physically, just horrendous.

I’d been swimming, ice-skating and had taken up running.

Now I’m weak after a half hour walk or cleaning my unit.

I’ve been vegetarian since I was 15 and I’m actually considering starting to eat meat again. I just don’t know if I could do it, as I find meat absolutely repulsive.

I am trying to eat better and have an iron infusion soon and have been getting b12 injections but whew… a healthy 30 something should not be living on coffees because they’re so malnourished and deficient in everything to get up…(not o mention I’m just so freaking cold all the time.. my lithium has caused diabetes insipidus (so I drink SO much water all day)and I have to be careful not to drink water right before bed or I lie there and shiver for ~40 mins until I can warm up again and get to sleep).

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Breakfast in bed 😍

I can’t believe I’ve actually started eating breakfast for the first time!

And am feeling better!