87stardust

[87stardust]

For some reason I’m unable to post here.

I’m spelling out this text by re-editing a draft save that barely remained.

I will post new illustrations on X (Twitter) and pixiv from now on.

I'm going to draw a lot of EstLat again!🫶💙❤️

[87stardust]

皿倉山

2023/08/20

[87stardust]

スペースLABOに行った。

プラネタリウムを2回見たよ〜

[87stardust]

ポケモンWCSに行った‼️

[87stardust]

花火大会に行った〜‼️

今年の夏はあと1回は花火大会に行く予定です🎆✨

江ノ島プリンのソフトクリーム、やっと食べられた🍦🍮

絵は8/3の蜂蜜の日と8/2のバニーの日に因んで描いた。

20230805

[87stardust]

江ノ島水族館🐟🪼🌊✨

グッズ作って良かった〜！ってなりました💙❤️

エスラト、水族館デートして❣️

[87stardust]

美術館に行ったよって写真②

今日で7月が終わる〜

[87stardust]

美術館に行った写真①

全部段ボールで作ってあるのすごいね！

対話型鑑���してたら3時間経ってた、あっという間！！

[87stardust]

summer vacation⛱️

[87stardust]

🇪🇪💘🇱🇻‼️‼️‼️⁉️

[87stardust]

I put my own clothes on the characters.

👖👟👒

[87stardust]

ママレードジャム消費のために作りました。

まだまだジャム沢山あるから少しずつ料理に使います🍊

[87stardust]

🇺🇸🎂✨

ほくべ〜お揃いにしました。

キャラの誕生日はキリがないから自分ではもう描かないけど、ワイワイしてたので便乗💪✨

2人ともおめでとう〜🎊🎊

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今日は朝イチでスポーツジムに行って、歌いたくなったからそのままカラオケ店へ直行した。

3時間1人で歌いっぱなしだったけど足りない……

一人カラオケは朝から時間いっぱいまでやるタイプなので、7〜8時間くらいが通常だと思ってる…👼

歌いながら踊るのが好きです💃

新譜歌えたから良し！

スポーツジムも行ったしカラオケも行ったし絵も描いたしで、今日は充実してた〜！

爆睡する自信が��る。それじゃあね👋

[87stardust]

🇨🇦🎂✨

バルトや北5以外の子を描くの久しぶりかも！

お誕生日おめでとう🎊

家に強力粉しかなかった為、パンケーキじゃなくてパンのケーキを作った🥯

[87stardust]

Raivis’s side of the story.

—————————

Eduard:It's beautiful.

I wonder when it was.Eduard said this while touching the white petals of the flower. When was that?

It may have been a meaningless comment to him, but I remember it well.

Summer has come again this year, and white marguerites are blooming all over the my garden. I took a breath while I was watering.

My rather large straw hat falls down to cover my face, and sweat drips down my chin as I breathe in the still, steamy air.

A few weeks ago, I left a voicemail message for Eduard. In the meantime, he has not responded. We haven't seen each other at all, so I don't know if he's busy or not.

Raivis:That ...... has bloomed a lot this year. If you want, you can come and visit.

It had become an annual promise that I would contact him every year in early summer to let him know that the flowers had bloomed.

Marguerites are not that rare. If you go to a flower shop, there are so many to choose from.

I just need an excuse.

Without an excuse, I don't know what to talk about with Eduard. When I try to talk to him, it is brief and only about business. It's over quickly. We have no common interests, things get awkward, and the air becomes contagious.

In the end, it all flows vaguely and ends in silence.

I am not able to naturally get the conversation going like Toris and everyone else.

Well, this is not only for Eduard.

I am used to being alone all the time, so I have become "good at playing alone".

How do I appear to others?

Do they think I am a lonely person?

It is true that I sometimes feel lonely, but there is a part of me that is convinced that this is okay.

Forcing myself to be in other people's circle is exhausting.

Of course, if it's a business, there are some aspects that can't be helped.

I am not interested in the issues in the people I don't even enjoy talking to, so I just listen to what they have to say and make conversation as appropriate. Then, at the end of the conversation, I force the corners of my mouth to twitch up in an affectionate smile.

I don't want to do that kind of thing in private.

But I've never done such a bothersome thing, so I have to do such a roundabout thing.

It's a curse that I can't honestly say, "I miss you.

It was a long time ago that I took it for granted that Eduard and I were always by each other's side.

Eduard is smart, quick-witted, light on his feet, and can get along with anyone. The complete opposite of me. I thought I was special, but it seems I was the only one who thought so.

Still, if I called him (well, suddenly!), he would come to me. They always came, so today, I'm cutting off the wilting flowers in the beauty one by one with scissors and holding faint hopes in my heart.

I can talk about flowers as much as I want.

I like them to begin with, but I read a lot of books to keep the conversation going, and I am accumulating knowledge. The Midsummer Festival is coming up soon, and I have a wealth of topics in common with Eduard at this time of year.

Let's make a crown of marguerite flowers, go back only to each other's memories when it was natural to be by each other's side, and immerse ourselves together in beautified memories.

But I don't mind if we don't continue our conversation, or if everything ends up being silent in the end.

The white flowers blooming in the garden are my alter ego, the lovely ones I have tended every day without fail.

I want them to notice me, but I don't want them to notice me. I have no choice but to grow tall as much as I can, while holding a contradiction in my feelings.

If Eduard gently caresses and loves them again this year, just as if he were soothing them with him fingertips, then I and these children will be rewarded just for that.

end.

-------------------

I translated a novel I wrote.

I always write stories like this.

[87stardust]

息抜きに民族衣装のエスラトを描いた💙❤️

🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿

やっぱりエスラトは世界で一番可愛い💙❤️

[87stardust]

ちょっと気を紛らわせないとやってられない事態に陥った…久々に指で描きました。☝️📱

ちゃんと絵描きたい…エスラトが描きたいです。