8-bit-system

[8-bit-system]

You know what breaks my heart? The fact that so many protectors in DID systems did downright heroic shit protecting the host as a child, but all the singlets want to see is an ol “evil split personality” stereotype.

Like… Of course I wish all of you lovely people didn’t have to be adults in like a 5 yo body just cause the outside world adults were monsters, but damn, man, I’ve seen so many protectors who bust their ass trying to keep the system together, and that deserves so much acknowledgment and praise.

[8-bit-system]

Who thinks i should revamp this account with our new system name and info? 🤔

[8-bit-system]

Being a system is like (in no particular order):

[is misdiagnosed] [dreams about alters we don’t have] [forgets who’s out] [doesn’t know how to explain mental health to other people] [writes a lot] [uses ‘character designing’ apps] [yells about stigma] [forgets my age] [makes amazing online system friends] [phone memory is full] [forgets if we said that thing out loud] [internal chaos] [realizes why things make more sense now] [forgets why things make more sense now] [denial] [forgets who’s out] [internal yelling about dissociative amnesia or not] [new alters come out in session out of nowhere] [journals sometimes a lot] [is confused about sexuality] [blocks triggering tags] [finds things the littles like] [passive influence] [same hat] [“oh, dang, there’s another one??”]

[8-bit-system]

So...

We don’t really like how this blog is rn. We’ve changed a lot and have figured out a lot more about ourselves... so I might make a new, improved system account.

We changed our name to the Splatter Spectrum a few months ago, and I think with our possibly upcoming youtube channel, it’s a good idea to start anew and make a new blog.

So whenever I do make it, I’ll make sure to post that here so you all can follow it :) Have a good day!!

[8-bit-system]

I dunno about you guys, but I’ve had to train myself out of apologizing for my other parts simply existing.

Upon coming back after one of the others was fronting, if they did anything I found “embarrassing” (which was anything, really) I would feel compelled to say things like “Sorry they were acting so weird” or “Sorry they’re like that” or just “I’m sorry.”

Thankfully the friends who know about our system tell me not to apologize for any of it.

I’m not perfect at it–I still get the urge to apologize a lot. But I try to keep it in check. I know it’s a really crappy feeling when someone feels like they’re a burden or inconvenience or embarrassment for simply existing, or feeling affectionate or scared or what have you. That’s something that was done to us by external people–I won’t do it to us anymore. Not if I can help it.

–Razael

[8-bit-system]

What a big DID/OSDD mood.

Especially in the context that El was raised in an MKUltra experimentation lab.

[8-bit-system]

Dear Tumblr,

All those posts you see of young artists charging $3, $6, $10 for a drawing because they need help? That’s fucking exploitation, and fuck you if you think it’s reasonable or a “good deal" to pay nickels and dimes to squeeze a full-color original drawing out of some talented, hardworking kid because things are tight, and they can’t afford their textbooks. Or food. They sure as hell can’t afford to make you art for $6.

Instead, stop. And ask them where you can donate. If you can afford a $6 drawing, then you can afford to spend $6 simply to help someone. You don’t need internal organs as payment.

Don’t allow young artists to be exploited.

[8-bit-system]

its ok. 

[8-bit-system]

me when faced with severe trauma before the age of 6: oh fuck gotta mitosis!!

[8-bit-system]

I don’t know what’s worse. Finally realizing that you were abused and feeling helpless because you can’t change the past and you have to work to get better, or staying in the dark about the abuse and not understanding why you’re like this.

[8-bit-system]

TO ANYONE CHATTING TO SOMEONE ONLINE

If you are considering meeting up with someone online use this trick identify who really are who they claim to be:

1. Ask them to Skype 2. If they refuse or can’t for some reason ask for a current selfie 3. If they also refuse or can’t do not meet up with them 4. If they provide one ask them to send another with them holding 3 fingers up 5. If they refuse read step 3 6. If they provide a selfie where they show 3 fingers they are probably for real

(If you’re still unconvinced try again with them drawing something in their hand)

I SAY THIS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY please spread this message as more and more young people are lured out into situations where they get kidnapped because they weren’t 100% sure the person they were talking to was real.

[8-bit-system]

Hey!

I’m more active on ig so if you wanna request to follow me my blog is @/8.bit.system!

I wanna continue/redo 30 days of DID here, things have just been hectic in the system lately and there has been so many changes

[8-bit-system]

you will be happy again, you will be more yourself than ever, you will understand your heart better when you heal, you will be whole, you will be okay

[8-bit-system]

Shoutout to the survivors of hidden, unconventional, or non-blatant abuse.

To those whose abusers constantly threatened but rarely acted on their words.

To those whose abusers would treat them well at times.

To those whose abusers would tell them the abuse was “for the best”, “out of love”, or “in your best interest”.

To those whose abusers told them the abuse was just a “joke”, or “prank” or “game”.

To those whose abusers would stop talking to them as a form of punishment.

To those whose abusers would still feed and shelter them, yet completely emotionally neglect them.

To those whose abusers gaslighted them into believing the abuse never happened.

To those whose abusers used uncommon techniques or methods to hurt them.

To those whose abuse was swept under the rug because it was ‘unbelievable’ or ‘impossible’.

To those who do not have proof of the abuse they endured.

Have you always believed the abuse was actually normal parenting? Me too. Do you feel like you’re making it up, or exaggerating stuff? Me too.

Guess what? Those are lies. Your abuse is valid. Your pain is valid. You are not fake. You are not alone.

[8-bit-system]

You’re not a burden, not to anyone.

[8-bit-system]

A few of the mods of this blog have been talking, and we’ve been becoming increasingly concerned about a trend that we’ve all noticed in the DID community here. We’ve tried to address it in the past, but we feel that it’s important that we try again and acknowledge that it’s much bigger than we communicated before.

What systems need to understand is that it isn’t healthy for anyone to allow their life to revolve around or significantly focus on their alters and / or inner world. It’s one thing to work extensively with alters in order to try to stabilize and heal. Similarly, if a small group of alters works together to manage daily life, of course this requires some degree of internal interaction. What concerns us is seeing that many people in this community act like internal happenings are just as or more important than external events and responsibilities, like internal relationships are just as or more important than external relationships, or like having DID is one of the most important things about someone.

It’s important to get along with your alters. It’s important for every alter to feel respected and heard. It’s important for alters to feel safe and content because your alters are part of you (or, to be more accurate, your alters and you are part of the same overarching system). Your alters need to be doing well for you as a whole to be doing well. Their physical, emotional, and intellectual needs are no less or more important than yours or any other alters’.

What isn’t healthy is focusing on alters’ surface needs at the expense of working on what the system as a whole needs. For example, while child alters can feel more safe and accepted when they’re given toys and allowed to play, it’s the safety and acceptance that they really need. Giving child alters safe play time can help them to reach a realization of safety, but the toys and play time alone aren’t sufficient. Child alters aren’t literal kids that you’ve been tasked with babysitting. They, like every other part of you, were created and shaped by trauma, and they aren’t uniquely immune to its effects. What they need most is for you as a system to heal.

You may not be ready to face your trauma now. Instead, you can start with making sure that your external environment is safe. You can work on symptoms of other mental health conditions that you have. You can find and practice healthier coping mechanisms. You can learn what healthy relationships look like. You can learn to ground yourself when you’re dissociated and even to prevent yourself from dissociating. What you cannot and should not try to do is focus on exploring your system and alters indefinitely at the expense of working towards actual progress. Learning that your child alters feel safer when they have a stuffed animal to hug can be a great realization! Spending days, weeks, months, or longer trying to learn all of your alters unique preferences, however, is a distraction.

It is not healthy to focus on alters’ desires at the expense of external life. While giving alters time to do what they enjoy can help the system to internalize that every part matters, this shouldn’t interfere with academics, your job, or your goals in life. Just as self care is important, giving alters some time to themselves can make for a more stable and happier system. However, just as self care shouldn’t become an excuse to never try to get anything done, making your alters happy shouldn’t become the same. Alters documenting their existence on Tumblr isn’t more worthwhile than meeting up with friends, going somewhere fun, or learning a new skill. Giving alters time out isn’t a more pressing issue than getting your homework done, making sure that you understand what you need to do for your job, volunteering, working on a personal project, or doing something else meaningful or fulfilling.

Similarly, relationships with alters should not take precedent over external relationships. While, again, it’s important for all alters to get along, you shouldn’t prioritize alters dating each other or being friends with each other over looking for, forming, and supporting external friendships, romantic and / or sexual relationships, and general connections. Keeping to yourself because you have your alters for company is not the same as meeting someone new or reaching out to old acquaintances. External loved ones can introduce you to new ideas, teach you new things, support you through hard times, and help you to grow as a person in ways that alters, as part of you, can’t. External loved ones should never make you feel bad about having alters or try to turn any of your alters against each other, but you in turn should try not to neglect them in favor of focusing on symbolic relationships between your alters.

What happens in your internal world will never be a good replacement for external life. Focusing on the jobs that alters have can never be as fulfilling as succeeding academically or in a job of your own. Internal families, partnerships, and friends can never be as fulfilling as finding or making your own family, partner(s), and friends. It may be difficult for you to achieve what you want to externally right now, and that’s okay! If spending time thinking about your internal world helps you to feel calmer, more confident, or more prepared to deal with your actual life, that can be okay. However, you need to be very careful that your internal world doesn’t become a crutch. Remember, distraction can be a coping mechanism, but if taken too far, it’s just another pathological response that’s standing between you and healing.

Another concern is that by focusing too much on your alters and how they feel like separate individuals, you can lose sight of how you all fit together. It can be harder to heal from trauma if you can’t acknowledge that it happened to you, all of you, and not just to specific alters. It can be harder to learn to handle triggers, face your fears, or respond appropriately to other intense situations and emotions if you always lean on specific alters to do so. It can be harder to rely on your abilities if you believe that only specific alters can accomplish your goals. It can be harder to really grasp and work towards your potential if you never acknowledge that your alters’ strengths belong to the system as a whole even if you can’t all access those strengths evenly right now.

There’s also the risk of getting so caught up in alters’ presentations that you give them more weight than the system’s reality. For example, an alter’s age cannot determine what age individuals the system should be with; an alter that presents as a minor in an adult system cannot be romantically or sexually involved with actual minors, just as an alter that presents as an adult in an underage system cannot be romantically or sexually involved with actual adults. An alter presenting as a certain race or ethnicity does not truly understand what it’s like to actually be a member of that racial or ethnic group. An alter presenting as disabled or with conversion disorder does not truly understand what it’s like to actually be permanently disabled in that way. An alter being a doctor or therapist internally does not give the system the medical or professional knowledge and experience of a doctor or therapist. Alters’ internal realities are never as concrete as external reality.

Finally, there’s all of the issues inherent in making a disorder a key part of your identity. Remember that you as a person have so much more going for you than what internal world jobs or abilities your alters have. You’re worth so much more than a list of alter names and associated traits. There’s so much more that’s interesting about you than that you have DID, how many alters that you have, or how your alters present. Some people might struggle with internalizing this, and that’s okay. Even if you’re one of those people, working towards understanding yourself as a whole is worthwhile. Like everything else here, it may take time, effort, and a large change in how you view and understand your system and DID as a whole, but it’s so much healthier in the long run, and every little bit of progress counts.

To reiterate and to make sure that this is absolutely clear, working with your alters is important for healing! It’s okay to acknowledge that your alters can be different from you in important ways. It’s okay for alters to want to spend time doing things that they enjoy, working towards their own interests and passions, or forming their own relationships. It’s okay to not be sure yet what your system’s overall goals, talents, or traits are. It’s okay for several alters to be important parts of your daily life and to have no intention of changing that. Where the line needs to be drawn is allowing your DID, your mental illness, to overshadow your external life. While it may feel comforting now, it’s overall limiting, and you deserve better than that.

-Katherine of Those Interrupted

(Note: I used “DID” throughout this post because OSDD-1 systems don’t seem to have this problem as often. However, this post can apply to all systems.)

[8-bit-system]

Rory is having one of her “I told you so” moments as yet another person that she insisted was dangerous is being publicly called out as being harmful, manipulative, and abusive. 

Be careful about who you trust. There are very manipulative people in the world, and some of them prey on the DID/OSDD community.