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The problem is that America has beaten down its people for decades and gotten them weak and desperate and now promises a way out, a way to transcend and rise above, through selling out their fellow man. They encourage contempt and hatred as one way ticket to not being included with the masses being death marched to poverty or imprisonment or whatever other bitter end surely awaits the people they’re told are beneath them. An embarrassingly large chunk of white men are just straight up nazis these days as a way to dissociate from the rest of the carnage around them, even if they’re broke and uneducated and from an impoverished background themselves. They’ll vote for and align themselves with anything for a taste of power and control that makes them feel a little less helpless. The same goes for minorities. They’ll punch down if they think it’ll get them somewhere, even if in reality they’re punching sideways. I don’t know what else to say, really. Everybody is so incredibly hateful. We are a loveless, disrespectful nation. We are so spread thin by our government that we would sell each other out in a heartbeat for an ounce of relief. This is what we’ve come to.

It’s not even about Trump at this point. He’s gonna get in office and do whatever he does and it’s gonna be a mess but whatever. This is indicative of deeper problem. This is just the ugly consequence of the already present reality in this country that we all just despise each other. There is no solidarity and there is no love. Trump being in office or not doesn’t change the fact that America is a breeding ground for violent hatred. Trump has given people a shining example of how to give in to the worst parts of your human nature and make it the problem of everyone around them. I don’t even know what we’re supposed to do about that. I don’t know if that’s something we can come back from. And if anything COULD be done about it, Trump certainly wouldn’t do it. Honestly, Kamala probably wouldn’t have either. We are so deeply fucked.

However, I must say, if you voted for Trump, I hope that peace never finds you. Instead, I hope clarity strikes you someday like a clap of lightning and you have to live the rest of your life with the knowledge and guilt of what you’ve done and who you are as a person.

Love yall. Shit is so bleak but the world keeps spinning until it doesn’t, I guess. We can’t count on the government for literally even a shred of progress or hope so just keep up the good fight in your own personal lives. That’s literally the only thing to be done at this point. Stay safe out there. Maybe buy a gun.

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no home and the acceptance of grief and loneliness

one of the things i liked most about the writing and development of the story of no home is how different arcs (or chapters) deal with different types of loss and how the character were able to get in touch with this lonely feeling and accept it in order to finally move on. in this analysis, i would like to comment on three characters: marie, haejoon and eunyung.

(spoilers ahead)

Marie 

in marie's case, the feeling of loss has been there since she was young, when her mother left. in order to try to control the feeling of grief over the sudden loss of a motherly figure, marie begins to try to "take" her place, doing everything she can to take care of the house, her father and her brother, often putting her own desires aside in order to accommodate them.

the lack of her mother and the fear of abandonment make her dedicate herself more and more to being a support for her family and tries at all costs to prove that she is well and happy, afraid of being abandoned again. setting the table to wait for them while her sits alone represents, to me, this waiting that she constantly puts herself in to please everyone around her. marie even puts up with all the physical aggression from her brother and her father's neglect, with a gigantic fear of being the reason for her family to fall apart, following in her mother's footsteps in one way or another.

marie lies to herself that life at home is not that bad and often softens her brother's aggression, but she still does everything she can to have her own freedom. moving to the dormitory is the first big step for her to finally be able to break free from this loneliness and seek comfort in her own interests and well-being. but even so, she is afraid to put into words the reason why she wants to move, only being able to admit it much later in a conversation with her aunt.

marie's loneliness is still seen throughout some chapters, especially when she tries, in a somewhat aggressive way, to save minju from falling into the same situation she found herself in, since she knows what it's like to feel alone and carry such a huge burden at home. however, the more we see her open up to the characters and get more and more involved with the journalism club, we can find in between the lines a new comfort that she feels when she returns home, having finally come to terms with herself and her own person, thus understanding her belonging within the home and in the group of friends.

Eunyung

eunyung is an enigmatic character full of secrets from the beginning, but i really enjoy seeing how his loneliness unfolds throughout the story and how we follow his change side by side with the revelation of his past.

i think it's obvious when i say that eunyung's mourning comes from his family issues, especially his relationship with his father and all the abuse he suffered at his hands. all the times he ran away from home, all the times he tried to find comfort in unreliable friendships or even his way of seeking his own strength in fights with other people reflect his desire to be seen and understood, especially since he can't find this comfort and reassurance at home. in his constant escapes, eunyung is not only looking for an ideal place to hide from his parents, but also for family comfort, for someone to acknowledge how hard he's trying, for a bond to be created with people who will be able to overcome all the loneliness and mourning he feels for the loss of family affection.

the way in which the father is always presented as a shadow reflects a lot on the emptiness he feels every time he returns home or revisits his memories of the past. the father no longer has a human appearance and becomes represented by the fear that eunyung feels and the emptiness he brings into his life. he is not a person, but rather a feeling, a lack, a mourning.

when he finally manages to see his father as a person and understands that he is much smaller and weaker than he remembered, eunyung begins to understand that much of his pain comes exactly from this erasure that he himself had in his parents' lives and they in his. he begins to see his father as someone of flesh and blood only when he, at the same time, begins to find comfort in the dormitory or in the new friendships he has been making throughout the story.

no longer seeing this black mass of fear is not just because eunyung finally got tired of not fighting back or a representation of him finding his own voice, but also thanks to the fact that he finally begins to understand that he does have a place in the world and deserves to start dreaming of a better future. he is no longer alone and understands that he no longer needs the family support that he so desperately needed: now, the blood ties are those that he will build and pursue himself, made up of people who he knows care about him and who he feels reciprocal affection for.

of course, this change is not obvious from the beginning and there is a long way to go between finally seeing his father and finding his freedom. eunyung's trauma is much more deep-rooted than he believes it to be, but finding his home has brought him enough comfort and foundation to accept this grief and understand that, in order to move forward, he does not need this constant memory that is only there to hurt and deceive him. detaching yourself from your parents is not about accepting your loneliness, but rather embracing it and finding a way to live with it until it dissolves into the past.

Haejoon:

i think that when it comes to haejoon, his grief becomes even clearer and more obvious, since his entire arc, from beginning to end, is about him learning to live with the absence of his mother and the grief that never goes away.

it is very difficult to define what grief is exactly and whether or not we are able to “overcome” it. grief is a complex feeling with many layers and different types of understanding, so it is very wrong for anyone to want to define someone else’s pain with their own believes. for me, grief is a feeling that never goes away, you just learn to live with it and come to peace with yourself at a certain point. that said, i believe that this is literally haejoon’s final arc, especially when he “meets” his mother again.

haejoon finds himself alone in the world and has to, for the first time, learn how to live with this loneliness. and this lesson doesn't come only with everyday life and the memories that come and go, but also with your self-discovery, opening up to new friendships and gradually connecting with your family and their secrets. learning to live with grief isn't just about acceptance, but also about knowing how to move forward and find people who help you discover happiness in this new life and this new phase.

the final scene of haejoon saying goodbye to his mother shows the evolution he has undergone. his mother, who was always such a gentle and loving person before, begins to become more aggressive and assertive, trying to trap him with her. i don't believe that this is a new vision that haejoon has of his mother, but rather a way that his inner self has found to make him finally come into direct contact with this loneliness and grief and face them. accepting this new life and this new found happiness is something very difficult for anyone who goes through grief. accepting that you can be happy again even without the person you love in your life is almost like saying goodbye and abandoning all the good memories you had with them. and haejoon is incredibly afraid of forgetting his mother, of losing her, of never being able to see her again. therefore, creating a more persuasive mother in his subconscious forces him to understand that he can enjoy and celebrate this new phase of his life without ever losing the connection with his mother. little by little, he recovers the good times he had with his friends and his new life, and being trapped inside a bubble of sadness no longer makes sense to him. his mother is no longer just a painful memory, but rather the strength that allows him to move forward.

it is very beautiful to see the moment when haejoon says goodbye to his mother and returns to his normal routine, ready to start college. we get to see a much more mature and self-confident boy, who has not only finally accepted all his flaws and qualities, but has also managed to understand that grief and longing are things that never go away, you just find a way to live better with both. honoring his mother means continuing to live as long as he can and being happy in the way he wants. honoring the memories of the mother he loved so much means remembering all her kindness and continuing to share with the people he loves all the affection his mother once shared with him.

thank you for reading 💛

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new video up on youtube! this one details my experiences with ghosts and ghouls throughout my life

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a princess longing for freedom

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olivine mega milk t shirt send tweet

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brb crumbling to dust

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free icon! enjoy!!

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It’s… A Real Cookie…

So, late last year I bought one of these cuties from Dearie because I had a 20% discount code. I needed more loliable accessories in my life since I’d bought my first sweet print that was covered in desserts- Melty Donut whatever the fuck. So, a few months had passed, after the last time I wore it I sat it on my bureau and there it sat for a few weeks. Maybe it was the change in temperatures or humidity or whatever but… it cracked. I was peeved, but I paid about 10$ for it and I figured I could glue it and as I went to do so I found… crumbs. Flaky doughy bits that were very unlike paper clay or any other deco medium I was familiar with. It’d gotten soft the way that graham crackers do when they do stale. This is when I began to wonder if I paid 10$ for an acrylic glazed cookie with a bow glued to it. I sat it on my desk and went about my day but it’s left a prickling feeling at the back of my neck. I was laying in bed half asleep until a few minutes ago but my anxieties have finally pushed me. I could either try to glue it together and fix it or force the crack more and reveal it’s secrets…

For one thing, for all my searching I can’t find a mold for a Marie biscuit but I can find the biscuits themselves for as low as 2.99. Well, this is a just a tiny disturbing and particularly hilarious.

I wouldn’t recommend buying from Dearie if you want long lasting accessories.

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CHAPPELL ROAN PHOTOGRAPHED BY KIRT BARNETT FOR POLYESTER ZINE

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oh santa monica, you've been too good to me

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Here's a website where Palestine GoFundMes are vetted and shared that you can send out to people. The url is gazafunds.com

Easy to use and simple. Just share the site whenever someone asks for GFMs for Palestine.

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a smol vent since no one i know rl follows me on tumblr afaik but i really hope my employer dont think me churning 2-3 character designs a day is normal and continue implementing very short deadline in the future

i literally hurt my hand bc i had to draw a lot everyday :( i will be seeing a neurologist next week...

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Thong🥵

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a princess longing for freedom

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I left Gaza for Italy due to an invitation to participate in the World Championship and represent Palestine. I was skating as a professional amateur. The World Championship organization contacted me to participate. I was supposed to get one of the winning positions, but I did not participate because of the war because my mind is scattered and I am always in a state of chaos and worried for the sake of my family and my family. Gaza, but my life is not life. I always think and do not sleep because of thinking about my family. I lost my father, but will the rest of my family live or be killed? I do not know my mind. I cannot control it, so my family must be taken out to get some comfort and safety. This is my picture when I am in Gaza. I hope you support me for the sake of my family. In order to return to life a little If you have trouble donating, there is a PayPal link in your bio

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