47-reasons-to-thirst

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

Hi! Do you post your fics anywhere other than tumblr? (Ao3, wattpad etc.) just curious :D

I post to A03. I haven't posted in a while, well not anything hitman related at least. I jump fandom to fandom leaving destruction in my wake

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

47 and his S/O random headcanons

He sits in bed sometimes, reading, and prefers when his partner is fast asleep and draped over his lap. Like a cat but a different kind of adorable

When planning a mission, he won’t get upset if you wander in. Sometimes he hopes you do. It balances out the bleakness of it all.

You forgot how to close the wine fridge secret door and 47 will take great pleasure in watching you fail to figure it out

Date nights are rare, but always over the top and gorgeous

47 will, seemingly at random, come and get a kiss from you.

Diana, for safety reasons, has access to 47s security cameras and helps him in keeping tabs on you when he’s away.

47 bought a nurse outfit for you and intended to give it to you to wear anytime he’s been injured on a job. However, it’s sitting in a drawer because he doesn’t know if you’ll like it.

He always wakes up first but doesn’t like to go far until you’ve woken up or it’s hit a certain time of day

Whether you’ve discussed it or not, he’s already planned what room will go first should you ever have children. The study will be the first, followed by the gym and if you have more than that they’re just going to have to share.

He willl not bring that up for a long time because he doesn’t want you to know he’s planned that far ahead

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

Do you take requests? If so may I request 47 with an asexual S/O? Cuz like me asexual and me need comfort

Agent 47 with an Asexual S/O

Finding out about your asexuality immediately interests him. He knows what it basically means but he's sure there are intricacies that require more research

Prepare to be studied. A lot.

He's inquisitive. He wants to know how everything makes you feel and he wants to know what makes you comfortable.

The biggest shock to him is that asexuals can still have sexual responses or impulses and that led him to discover that it's a spectrum and that made soooo much sense to him.

He wants to learn about it in general, sure but he's more interested in where you lie on the spectrum.

He likes how much of it can be attributed to him as well. He's learning about himself with you.

It's a nice slow relationship, relaxed and meaningful.

Another thing that surprises him is that people apparently are against asexuals? Why? Of all the hot-button issues, what someone chooses to do or not do behind closed doors is their business.

He's very quick to defend you if people insult your sexuality... then he wonders if it's considered a sexuality. He'll ask you, he's not entirely sure.

You gotta educate him but he's 100% on your side and loves you for who you are.

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

Someone gets suspicious of 47’s constant references to death and he has to try and throw them off but he can’t stop making euphemisms

I did it and just totally forgot to link it to this ask because I'm not good at things. I hope you like it. Sorry it took so long.

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

I had a line in the last scenerio where the reader would say "Don't go and die on me, grey" and he'd respond with a sexy promise to return to you but I could just FEEL the people ready to flood my inbox with Calm down Satan esque memes.

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

Request: Lucas hits up a strip club because one of the dancers has info (reader) about Providence and some of his targets

Lucus's Informant is a Stripper (Reader)

He liked the relaxed enviroment of gentlemens clubs. Oddly enough, he's never entered one for pleasure. Only business.

Lucus was looking for one dancer in particular

Patrons were hooting and hollering at the way you rolled your hips

beyond your adoring crowd you saw Lucus. He met your eyes and motioned his head to the left. He walked that way and you were on notice that he was waiting for you.

You finished your set, making sure your money was secure as you made your way to a private booth

Lucus had come to see you so many times in the past few months. He started to see you a little differently in that time

He liked your style, he liked how you handled yourself and he had to admit he was very attracted to you.

You both sat down in the private booth, very unusual... for normal customers.

"Good to see you."

"Likewise. I heard you had something for me."

"It's your ticket to Stuyvesant."

"You never fail to impress me." He smirked, leaning back in his chair. He looked around the booth. "...How about a dance?"

"Careful, you'll fall for me."

"You let me worry about that." You stood, looking down at him with a flirty grin. His eyes were glued to your hips the moment they started to move and Lucus let out a playful growl

You gave him all the information he needed while you serviced him. He had to keep clarifying things, distracted by you.

"You can't afford to fall for me... too dangerous for you to have roots."

".... One day it won't be... and when it's safe I want you to know I'll be back for you."

After the dance you got a generous tip. He put it directly in your hand, holding your hand a little longer than normal.

"This is the last time I'll come see you. The next time you see me, it will be for pleasure. I promise."

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

It's a Punerful Life

The ice swan was dripping in the spring sun, mesmerizing you as you slowly watched it shrink. 47 smirked, watching you think about how long the swan would last. Could you snap off some of the bits and use them to cool your drink? Is that acceptable?

"I see you're admiring my wife's handiwork," A man approached you and 47, rolling his wine glass in his hands. You didn't look at him, leaving 47 with this conversation. "She sculpts ice in her spare time."

"An interesting hobby."

"Indeed. I wanted her to stop. She sits in our walking freezer and sculpts all night. She's very dedicated."

"She should be careful. One could catch their death in there."

"I know, right?" You snickered, always amused by your husband's references to death being so casually thrown in there. You let him do his thing, knowing 47 knew what to do with your target. "I was telling her that the other day. 'Um, hey, people die by being locked in these things' but all she did was praise that our walk-in could be opened from both sides. Some hobbies just aren't worth the potential cause though."

"Apparently to your wife, it's the die for."

"Huh?" That's made you stop. You looked over at the conversation, noting the confused man. 47 was calm but his conversation partner was put off. "Uh... yeah. Anyway, do you have any hobbies you're THAT into?"

"I prefer to keep my hands busy with productive work."

"You and me both." Everything seemed back on track and you returned to your task of trying to discreetly steal ice from this drippy statue. No one seemed to be looking at you so you moved to snap off a nub.

"You did it again." You heard the man's confusion and tuned back into the conversation. Your husband was just as stoic as ever. "You just made a vaguely threatening pun."

"I don’t know what you’re talking about.��

“You heard that right?” The man turned to you, likely because of your proximity. All you could do was shake your head .

“I wasn’t listening.”

“Perhaps you’ve had a bit to much to wine. Wouldn’t want to drink yourself into an early grave.“

“There! He did it again!”

“I don’t know man, seems normal to me.” You shrugged, returning back to your plan if mutilating this ice fowl.

“It’s simply a turn of phrase. I have quite the tendency to be misunderstood." You were snapping off ice, watching him weasel his was out of this but 47 can't just not say a morbid joke. It's not in his nature. "It is a marvelous sculpture. A cut above, for sure."

"....Is that one, too?"

"If you'll excuse me." 47 just had to walk away and you were giggling the whole time. He settled beside you, the other man still eyeing him nervously. "...I might have compromised myself."

"Probably because you can't keep your mouth shut."

"And I thought you liked my jokes."

"I love your jokes... they never fail to slay me." He smirked and the hitman planted a kiss on your cheek. "I'll keep him busy. You run along and get your job done."

"I always do. Go ahead. Knock him dead." With that he was off, leaving you to wonder if that was also a joke or if he wanted you to kill this guy. Probably not the second one. Murder was more of his business.

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

do you,,, write for,,, lucas,,, he has no fics😭

I haven't before but I feel your pain.

Fuck it, I'll take Lucas requests.

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

My biggest complaint about Hitman's Freelancer update is that when I return from a mission Lucas isn't just big chillin' on my couch or sometimes Diana comes over for tea.

Other than that, havin a good time.

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

I did it again I disappeared but this time cause I’ve been playing freelancer.

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

I got your ask. I love it.

It's gonna take a few days but I'm making a whole fic of this. I love it too much. I need it in my life.

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

47 teaches his SO self defense, specially how to safely shoot and maintain a gun.

47 Teaches you to protect yourself

Every so often 47 will lecture you about being safe while he’s away.

Nothing particular has to happen to bring these on. He just worries sometimes that you won’t be safe when he’s gone

A gun was his first step. He brought you a fine black case, opening it to reveal a lot of foam spikes and a very sleek pistol.

He’ll encourage you to hold it and get a feel for shooting. He takes you to the range to make sure when it comes down to it you won’t miss.

The hitman helps you with home security, installing better cameras and showing you how he so often gets in places and past security

He doesn’t do these lessons close together. That’s very important. He doesn’t want you to feel paranoid like you’re constantly in danger. Most likely you’ll be fine

He won’t go for martial arts with you, instead opting for teaching you some basic close combat counters. Something that will save your life in a pinch.

The hitman is confident that you’ll be safe once he’s done teaching you.

Thanks yo him you have a melee weapon in every room

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

47: That really ruffles my feathers!

Lucas: Please, just say fuck.

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

47: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this?

Lucas, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*

Lucas: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.

47: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.

Diana: if you want information it is

Olivia: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

Lucas: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.

Lucas: That's why I own TEN guns.

Lucas: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

[47-reasons-to-thirst]

Lucas: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?

47: Fake?