20somethingwithoutaclue

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

The Monster Within

Dear friend,

From a young age, the seeds of control and impulse were planted in rocky soil. With no place to grow true roots and understanding of how to cope with the monster that is your genetics, your trauma and your ability to control your impulses.

The creature that laid dormant for a while was bound to be woken up. One simple trigger woke up the creature that you believed had been put to bed. The virus that woke the monster had not been treated, cured or even looked at. This rise was inevitable and the monster was fed.

The grime and dirt from that virus needed to be cleansed, dealt with and washed away. Your tears washed away the turmoil from a tragic event and you are finally clean.

You have been on an elevator with alcohol and trauma. The two of them are a detrimental and hazardous pair. They were never going to let you push a button to decide where you were going to go. There were many options to get off the elevator and yet, you chose to ride it all the way down.

You let someone on your elevator when you should've gotten off and it ended badly. But my friend, use this lesson to move forward. That demon may have been woken up, but you chose to fight him head on. You washed away the regret and you got off the elevator.

Take the stairs and just keep climbing up. It may not be easy, you may want to get back on the elevator because it's easy. But don't believe that the elevator is making your life easier because no matter what, you aren't going to be able to push the button you want and the elevator will always take you down.

Keep climbing, the top isn't as far as you think.

Say hello to me when you get there,

Your cheerleader.

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

The Maid

Dear friend,

As humans, we are constantly cleaning. Our house, our cars, our desks, our floors but most importantly our life. We have this incessant need to continuously make things cleaner, better, prettier, safer, etc. We are never satisfied and we are always looking to make things cleaner.

Friend, right now, you are cleaning up past mistakes and regret. While it may not be physical, you are doing your best to clean your mind. You are wrapped in a blanket of shame, guilt, fear and disgust. As much as you wipe away those feelings, your mind continues to get inundated with the feelings of what you could have done differently, what you could have said instead and what you could have been.

You haven't been the best human. There's no denying that. But that's just life and you have to understand that cleaning up after ourselves is what builds character and what helps us become cleaner and better humans. You don't always have to keep your house in order. Your friends and family don't mind a little mess, but you can't expect them to always clean up after you.

Surround yourself with people who want to help you keep a clean house. People who want to forget about the messes you have made and people who won't bring dirt back into your house. Surround yourself with people who only want to see you succeed in a clean environment.

The truth is, you will always be cleaning up your messes my friend. But you don't need to make the same ones over and over and you certainly don't need to be bogged down by remembering the old messes you have made. You've cleaned it up, it's time to move on.

You're going to make more messes and you're going to have to clean them up. But my friend, please learn from this. There's some messes that it's okay for your people to help you clean up and other messes they don't deserve to. Keep a clean house, babe.

Thoughtfully yours,

Your maid.

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

The Swing

Dear Friend,

Remember being a kid and sprinting at recess to be the first one on the swingset? It was so much fun to swing higher than your friends, or have someone push you and do an "underdog" and run underneath you before you hit them. Or what about jumping off and seeing how high or far you could go? The wind in your face, the ground below you, it was such a simple joy.

Have you ever realized your life is essentially a swing? The swing is a solitary movement (generally speaking) and without a push, it's up to you to get started and up to you to keep moving. I know at times, it's hard to pump your legs and find the motivation to get started. But once you get started, it's pretty amazing right? The only way to keep motivated is to keep moving your legs. Sure, you're up and then you're down, but no matter what, we must keep moving. Sometimes, though, our swing stops. And we sit and dwell and we must find the strength to pump our legs and keep going.

Lately, life has thrown so many changes your way. New job, new living situation, new friends, new hobbies, new everything. But how amazing that you have these new things to give you that extra push on your swing? You are going to swing higher than you ever have. The momentum is just building for you.

Unfortunately, in life, you have to change your swingset. Go to a different park, try a different swing. But that is okay. The only sure thing in life is change and you know all about that. The ability to roll with it and keep swinging is a sign of strength, which you undoubtedly have. Just because you have to find a new swing, doesn't mean you have to stop swinging altogether.

Keep pumping those legs and keep fighting for higher swings, the sky is within your reach, keep swinging.

Stay on the swing,

Your pal.

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

Second Chances

Dear Friend,

You are a house and your foundation is crumbling. You are overloaded with termites and you are slowly watching the walls around you cave in. You have the power to stop them from eating away the very foundation of your life but yet, you aren't. Why?

You were given a second chance to live your life to the fullest and you are slowly but surely falling back into familiar habits. To be fair, you don't exactly have wonderful role models to show you the way to keep a clean house, but you have made it this far despite your disadvantages. But your relapses are getting scarier, your brain is getting cloudier and your actions are reflecting a character that you do not want to be.

This past year, think about how many moments that have been tainted by your drinking. You black out, you do things you don't mean to, you hurt those around you, you hurt yourself and you are killing yourself.

You have the shotgun in your mouth with no intention to pull the trigger but rather you like the taste of the gunmetal. You dance with the shadow of yourself to the beat of regret, chance, chaos and danger. You are a shell of the old you and the more you participate in this lifestyle, the more the incredible human you are goes away. Why are you wasting your second chance?

Please, friend, I am begging you, please put this in your rearview. You are better than the person you have been. Take this opportunity to be the best you. You have so many wonderful things going for you, why don't you dance in the light?

It will haunt you, it will tempt you, it will hurt you and it will mess with you. But it's in your rearview. "Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear" - but just because they are within arms reach doesn't mean that you have to grab them. Dance in a new light. Dance in the feeling of bliss, opportunity, blessings, gratitude, safety and newfound comfort.

These demons do not hold onto you anymore. You are free to be your best self and to engage in new habits and write a new story. Your termites are being treated and your foundation, while it has some holes and is shaky in some parts, is stable. It is not too late to fix the foundation and be a build home that harbors safety, happiness and grace.

Keep building, my friend. Nothing is in your way if you believe it to be true. You are going to get past this addiction and be the best you that you can. Look in the rearview to understand where you came from, but don't spend so much time reflecting that you aren't able to see the beautiful moments outside of your windshield.

You are more than you have been.

Sincerely,

Anonymous.

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

The Hallway

Dear Friend,

Do you feel like you just keep opening the wrong doors? Do you feel like every time you do find a door to open, it's locked? Do you feel like even when you've found the "right" door, something closes it and you get the door slammed in your face?

In life, we are moving down a long hallway. And lately, you have been opening the wrong doors, time and time again. Whether it be bad news, a questionable decision or something that just hurts you or someone else. God gives us all of these doors to experiment and choose what we feel is the right one to open. If the door is locked, that just means you aren't supposed to know what is behind it.

Really, in life, we are just playing a big game of chess. We're always plotting our next move but we can never assume or control the moves of other people. We can do our best to move forward and plan our moves but sometimes other people throw off our plans and that is OKAY. It's okay to be a pawn in someone else's game as you do the same. It's okay to get knocked down and thrown off course.

You are in a pivotal time my friend. You have all the opportunities you could possibly want at your disposal. Don't be afraid to shake the handle on multiple doors, don't be scared to get the door slammed in your face but most importantly, don't be afraid to try. You are going to open a lot of wrong doors and you are going to hurt others and they will hurt you. Lead with love, choose your words kindly and friend, hold the door for others as you are loved and your friends and family want you to thrive.

Walk in, don't knock.

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

The Hot Air Balloon

Dear Friend,

When you are in the midst of a crisis, it feels like everything is breaking, falling apart and on the verge of ending forever. But what if I told you that it isn't? What if I told you that things make their way out of your life to make room for better things and that the integrity of your life (you) is still the same? Would you believe me?

Your life, you, can be compared to a hot air balloon. It goes up, it comes down, without ever breaking. Sometimes, it may seem as if it might burst and sometimes when it comes down it crashes but time and time again, it flies again.

Sometimes in life, you are flying high. The wind is taking you where you want to go, your balloon is full and the company you keep in the basket is exactly who you want. Sometimes, your balloon leaks, little by little. You can tell you're dipping in the air and you desperately try to fill the balloon with more air but why not just let your balloon deflate and hit the bottom? Start all over? Your balloon hasn't changed, just the contents of the air inside of it have. You didn't make a mistake that altered your balloon forever, you just have changes to your air and that is OKAY.

This year, your balloon has certainly deflated and hit the bottom. You teetered on the edge of death, you lost the dream you had for 20 years, you questioned your faith, you made some hard calls with friendships, and the list goes on and on. You could have let your balloon be grounded forever and never risked the flight again, but you didn't.

You let your balloon be filled with much more, didn't you? Thank God for the deflating of your balloon because it made room for much better air. Your relationship with God has ignited your soul and has allowed you to fly your balloon higher than it has ever gone. You started a new career, you have better health than you started with, you have made new friendships that push you to be a better you, you've set new goals and most importantly, you have mastered leaning on your faith when you could easily fall.

My friend, your balloon is going to fly and it is going to fall. But it will never pop so long as you decide to trust yourself and the plan set in store for you. At the core of it, your balloon is always the same, but what you decide to fill it with will determine how far it can go.

Fly high my friend.

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

Falling Apart to Get It Together

Dear Friend,

Your walls crashed down and all you could do is stare blankly and take the pain that was consuming you inside and out. What you have worked for, for 20 years was ripped right out from underneath you. No warning, no fault and no logical reasoning. A lesser human would give up, but you my friend, must grieve and move on.

Do you remember when you were a kid and you would dig a hole in the sand at the beach and try to fill it up with water? It never got quite full because the sand would soak it all up. But no matter what, you tried time and time again to be fast enough to get the water to the hole quick enough before it disappeared.

The more you sit and think, that's kind of like being an adult and trying SO hard to fill that inevitable void that we must feel to grow. Sure, bad things happen and you try to fill the bad feelings with friends, activities, alcohol, what have you. But what if it's okay to soak in the feelings and let the well run dry? Why are you afraid to feel?

God provides problems to help you grow and guide you to the solution. As lonely as this feels right now, you are far from alone. There are a lot of logical things to be upset about but what can you control, right now, right in this moment? Your reaction to the adversity you are facing. We can't control what happens to us, but we can trust in our greater plan and truly be content in the moment. Easier said than done, am I right?

As a human, we hold ourselves to high expectations and if we fail, we don't give ourself grace. But my friend, do you realize you didn't fail? You need to remember you did absolutely nothing to cause this. You are fantastic and this door closing is going to provide an open door. But please my friend, do not sink down to that dark place you have been. You are far too loved and have come too far to lose yourself to the darkness. This ending will NOT end you.

You are broken today. But God uses the broken more as there are more pieces to work with. Every time you have shattered, cracked, gotten lost.. God has found more pieces to work with. Whether that be extending you into new hobbies, spreading your love and joy to new humans, using your talents in new ways or just simply loving every piece of you as there is so much to your brokenness. Each piece of you tells a story and once put back together, is a beautiful human who is capable, smart, genuine, strong and driven.

Have you ever noticed at a buffet or fancy dinner, they always say to "save your fork" when clearing plates? Each meal passes and you save your fork. Do you know why that is? It's because something better is yet to come.

So go ahead - grieve, cry, get pissed. But when you are up for it, pick up your head and smile. Your journey hit a bump but you are destined for better things. Keep driving down that road, friend. The best is yet to come. Keep holding on to your fork, my love.

All my best,

Your cheerleader

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

Knocking on Deaths Door

Hi friend,

You've had quite the journey this year, haven't you? Isn't it wild that this year is almost over? You turned 28 and you thought, wow, this is my year. But it's funny how God had other plans.

You spent time questioning God's role in your life. You aren't surrounded by a holy huddle and that's affected your dedication to the one who loves you most. But then something very unexpected happened, you almost lost your life. Wow. Read that again. ALMOST. Meaning that you were never meant to cross over. You aren't done yet and God knew this.

6:00pm rolled around on that day and the air in your lungs was scarce and the anxiety set in. You weren't able to breathe and you couldn't fix it. You couldn't "just calm down and take a deep breath". You had to rely on someone else to fix you and save you. Those doctors and nurses were guided by God and He knew exactly what He was doing. Your little body was shutting down and you continued to fight the good fight. You didn't give up.

It was scary though, wasn't it? Being in that unknown, being in a place where you had to give up all control and be put at the hands of others. In that moment, that machine was either going to breathe for you or it wasn't. But by the Grace of God, you came out on the other side.

Doesn't this relate to everyday life? Maybe not so extreme but to an extent. Sometimes we feel so encapsulated in our day to day lives and we can't breathe from the pressure or anxiety of deadlines, relationships, bills, expectations, etc. But the one who knows the plan and is guiding us is who we should be giving all control to. We aren't God, yet we think we need to fix everything and figure everything out by ourselves. The simple solution to that my friend is that we don't. I am so grateful your life was saved and you are able to grow in your faith.

Life is crazy, isn't it? One moment you have it all and in the next it can be taken away from you. What will you do to live to the fullest and make the most beautiful masterpiece you can?

28 lessons from knocking on deaths door:

Bite off too much and then chew like hell.

Color outside the lines.

Say no when you have had enough. Whether that be alcohol, abuse, lost love, etc.

Fail. Again and again. And then again.

Never settle for less than you deserve. You were spared for a reason, don't waste your love or your worth on someone outside of your huddle.

Don't let other things or people play God in your life.

Rest. Your body and mind need time to recuperate to be your best self.

If you love someone, tell them.

Express gratitude, even for the most minuscule things.

When things are great, pray. When things are bad, pray. When you feel lost, pray. When you are thankful, pray.

Take time to step back and look at the big picture. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

Laugh hard at the silliest things.

Spoil the ones you love. Not with material things but with your time, your attention and thoughtfulness.

Make time to learn new things.

Omit negativity from your life.

Let people down easy and be clear. Never let someone run scenarios through their head and continue to guess.

Stay true to your word. Your character is the only true thing you can control.

Stay humble.

Remember that even if someone's opinion is different than yours, you don't have to cut them off. The exception being, if their opinion directly takes away someone's rights or value.

Challenge yourself in new ways as often as you can.

Be okay with being rejected. God never intended for you to open that door.

Give yourself grace, you are only human.

Be patient with your parents, they are getting older too.

Be a good example to your nieces and nephews and do your best to show up and not disappoint them.

If you are able, donate to a cause you care about. You are blessed with a good life, spread that goodness.

Count your blessings often.

Never take the heartbeat you were given for granted.

Be the person you wish you had when you were a kid.

Almost losing your life was a scary experience but you are on the other side for a reason my friend. Go make an impact on your world and never ever take the air in your lungs for granted. Lean on your faith and go forth and be the person you want to be. You are here for a reason, make it a good one.

Forever in your holy huddle,

Me.

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

Process the Failure

Dear Friend,

How cool is it that God intentionally leads us into failure? INTENTIONALLY. He knows when that job won’t work and you won’t like that boss, He knows that love you are experiencing with that boyfriend or girlfriend is temporary and will end up in a heartbreak, He knows that’s the incorrect road to travel down, etc. How cool is that? I know what you’re thinking, how could that possibly be a good thing?

Think about those times when everything is going right and the cards are in your favor and nothing seems to go wrong. Do you have that weird feeling in the back of your mind waiting for the other shoe to drop? Do you learn in these trying times? Pretty rad, right? Your failures are predetermined by our Father who decides when you are in need of growth, lessons and encouragement. 

What else is cool is that we get to practice grace. We think that we are the ones making these mistakes, failing and hurting ourselves and others but the Bible says, “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.1 Peter 5:10″. We are meant to suffer to get to grace and to grow. 

When we make mistakes, when we hurt, when we are destructing our lives, it’s sometimes impossible to forgive ourselves. It’s hard to see past the blood on our hands, the anxiety in our brains and the hate in our hearts. But my friend, I’m telling you, this is a blessing. We are meant to fail and we are meant to experience love and loss. 

Please, instead of cursing God and begging Him to get you through the tough times, please endure and experience and talk to Him throughout your journey and trust His process. He will never lead you into a problem without a solution so as you trust in the Lord with all of your Heart and lean not on your own understanding. 

Embrace the failure, trust the process and please my friend, give yourself some Grace because God is pouring it out to you.

Go out there, fail, learn and praise the God that lead you to those experiences.

With grace,

Your friend.

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

Communication is Power

Dear friend,

Let’s take a moment to truly reflect on your relationship with God. What we know about relationships is that communication is key and without communication, we lose that link that connects us. 

We all know that friend that only comes around when they need a favor or need advice but they don’t come around when things are good. When did that become relative to your relationship with God? Why don’t you share the good things with Him? Sure, He already knows but He wants to hear your excitement, your self-reflection, your honesty. 

Jeremiah 29:12 says “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”. God is always there and I think our sight of that is skewed when things are going really poorly or really well. When things are great, we fall silent but He wants to hear you. When things are bad, we don’t think He will hear us and help us but I have realized we don’t have to hear Him. Our problems cannot magically go away, rather, He sends us goals/people/obstacles/options to solve our problems with Him, not Him for us. 

Growing up, I felt alone. No one heard me, my parents, my teachers, my siblings, my friends - no one knew how I was feeling. I used to stay awake at night and pray for a new family, a new life or someone to save me. Looking back now, at 26, I realized exactly what He was doing. He was building my independence, my strength, my grit and equipping me with the fortitude to live an amazing life. I strayed from His path and a loved one intervened and kept me here, that was all God’s plan. He knows what He is doing and He knows what He is putting you through.

I have felt a lot of hurt in my life but I am a house. God created my foundation and built me sturdy but the customization, design and building of the house was on me, my family and the choices I make. Sometimes I think that my house is how I want it to be, but then I realize that maybe the paint isn’t right or maybe the floors need work so I start over. Sometimes I don’t get the supplies I need and need to go with a different plan. Sometimes the roommates I have or guests I have over don’t always work out or stay the full duration of their intended time. Occasionally, my foundation starts to slip but God is there to lend His support and is sure I don’t fall. My house was and will never be perfect but to Him, it’s a mansion and is flawless. 

Instead of reflecting on how terrible things have been, I am reaching out to God and thanking Him for the circumstances that have shaped the woman I am today. I feel so lucky to share my story with select humans and I feel honored to be able to lend a hand to those who are struggling in ways I have struggled, and to let them know that life is going to be more than okay.

3.23.21 - I vow to talk to God when things are bad but more importantly, when they are good and to praise Him for the trials and tribulations that have lead me up to this point. 3.23.21 I choose to be happy and to allow love into my heart and to lean on God in all situations. 3.23.21 is the day that I reinstall everything that I believe and give the glory to the one who has saved me, even when I didn’t believe I was worthy of salvation. 

Sincerely,

Praying for courage, strength and consistency

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

Hello Anxiety, My Old Friend

Dear Friend,

What is anxiety really? It’s so frustrating when people are like “oh man, I’m so anxious” and they have no idea how absolutely terrifying anxiety really is.

Lately, I feel like I am a very full cup of coffee. I am in a car and the coffee has no lid. I must be careful so as to not spill myself. Maybe I take the curves extra slow, I don’t go down certain roads for fear of the bumps, I avoid people in my car to not distract the concentration of not spilling or maybe I don’t get in the car at all to ensure that I will not spill.

But eventually, that coffee will either spill or it will be enjoyed, right? Why save it, if it can’t be enjoyed? Why not go down the unknown roads and if it spills, it spills.

I’m scared to spill because what if the heat burns someone and hurts them beyond repair? What if I spill and it stains and that mark is there forever? What if I spill and the mug falls and cracks and can never be repaired to hold another cup of coffee?

Do we take that risk and whatever happens just happens?  Why am I so cautious of hurting others but I never stop to think about what saving that coffee is doing to me? I eventually grow cold, stale and bland if not risking and sharing myself with others. 

I am full and my heart is in a good place and I just genuinely love other people so much and I want them to enjoy me as much as I enjoy them. Sure, sometimes I may burn someone or someone might not like the taste of me or maybe I spill on someone and I’m with them forever. But that’s scary, man. I don’t want to be the reason someone is hurting or upset or frazzled. But I need to get in that dang car and I need to drive without fear and if I spill, then so be it. Life is messy and so am I and if I spill all over, I know I will always be filled up by my friends, my family and God. 

Sincerely,

You can brew this

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

Part of the Process

Dear Friend,

Bob Goff really nailed it with his quote, “Failure is just part of the process, and it's not just okay; it's better than okay. God doesn't want failure to shut us down. God didn't make it a three-strikes-and-you're-out sort of thing. It's more about how God helps us dust ourselves off so we can swing for the fences again. And all of this without keeping a meticulous record of our screw-ups.”

WOW. How incredible that we can screw up, time and time again but there is no record, there is no tally, there is nothing to remember our screw ups... all God gives us is His grace. And isn’t that the most amazing part of it all? He literally leads us into failure to allow for growth. What an amazing gift.

Sometimes that’s hard to remember and hard to see when through our eyes we are hurting. We sit and wonder, God, where are you? Why are you letting me make the wrong decision over and over and why am I hurting myself and others? But instead of asking why me.. we should be focusing on thank goodness it’s me. We need the tough times to make us stronger. Is that cliche? Well duh, of course it is. But it’s the truth.

That break up where you thought you couldn’t go on and that the person who left you was your world, did you think you’d get to the other side and pick yourself up again? When death struck your family, did you think you could ever stop missing that person? When you failed so hard at something that you never wanted to try again.. did you try again? 

Look, I’m not perfect. I will never be perfect, but God didn’t create me to be perfect. I’m going to mess up, I’m going to fall into sin and I’m going to lose my way. But His path is our map, we just have to choose to trust it and follow it, instead of finding the short cuts. We must take the long way and remember that when you go the long way that’s when you see the most beautiful things. It’s like a road trip - when you take a detour you experience new things. Sure, sometimes you run out of gas or maybe you pop a tire, but hey, it’s part of the experience. And sometimes, that’s when the best parts can happen.

Life can get heavy, life can be unkind and sometimes straight up unfair. But you are not entitled to a perfect life without tough times. You are going to continue to screw up, time and time again and His grace will always dust you off and get you swinging again. Don’t ever stop swinging your bat, don’t ever throw your glove and do not ever, and I repeat ever, stop living your life to the fullest for fear of failure.

Sincerely,

Waiting for that homerun

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

Finding the Good

Dear Friend,

I suppose since there hasn’t been words typed on here in a long time that means all is well. The need to express yourself to strangers and find the words to articulate all the things you are feeling are somewhat distant as you have been distracted amid this wild ride of a year.

There is a lot to be said about someone who can find the good when they are face to face with negativity, adversity, challenges and impossible scenarios. 2020 has not been good to anyone and those it has been good to are silenced so as to not upset their peers with their happiness. 

Why do we do that? Why are we so afraid to scream on top of a mountain and yell about the wonderful gifts life has been giving us? I, for one, am so happy with this year, but that doesn’t have to take away the empathy and sympathy I have for the world. I have learned this year, that no matter what you do, there is some sort of negative side to it. But that’s just it right? Back in the day when pictures were developed and we would go and get them from the store, they gave us the negatives. But the thing is, the negatives were the exact same picture, just in a different form. Why can’t that be said about life?

When we took pictures with disposable cameras, we never knew what the outcome would be. We just snapped away. hoping for the best. I think a lot of time in our lives we make decisions and hope for the best, not knowing how it will turn out. This year, I have made many decisions and hoped they were for the best and not sure what the picture would look like when the actions I made were fully developed. Sometimes, I spent a little too much time focusing on the negatives but those pictures that finally developed, I finally started enjoying what those turned out to be.

Being able to see the negatives and positives in every situation is something we don’t take enough time to reflect on. We don’t see both sides and we rarely understand they are quite literally the same. I vow to myself and to you today, my friend, to always appreciate the negatives because without them, I wouldn’t have such a wonderful, positive picture to cherish and love.

Sincerely,

Waiting on a photo album

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

An Erratic Adventure

Dear friend,

How lucky are we that each and every one of us is set forth on our own unique adventures? God doesn’t just hand us a rigid itinerary that is full of tasks and milestones, but rather, we are sent on our own adventure and we get to create the map as we go.

We are handed a blank slate every day. Some of us choose not to recognize that our slate is blank and so much of the time, we spend our days trying to erase or cross out the burdens of the day before. Why do we sabotage our amazing adventure this way?

Before smart phones and GPS, we simply had a map. That map guided us to wherever we wanted it to go. It was there in its purest form and we simply had to follow it. As the world progressed, our digital devices cleared the path for us. Do you notice when you take a wrong turn, the mapping software doesn’t malfunction... does it? No, it simply just reroutes and takes us to where we want to go. Why can’t we live our lives the same way? Just because one choice sets us “off-course” doesn’t mean the whole trip is ruined, it just means there’s a detour before we get back on track.

In life, I feel as though I have made many choices that I am not proud of that threw my route off course. There are many choices that I have made that have made the route even more beautiful. The key here is perspective. I could’ve been upset that my route went astray and it wasn’t what I had in mind but as I matured, I realized the detours are part of God’s plan for us. We are supposed to go off the grid - that’s where true grit comes in and that’s when we learn. Why do you think maps and atlases get updated? Those who dare to explore are able to discover new cities, new towns, put their feet in new soil and truly explore. Do you think they get upset that they have to update a map? Of course not - they’re just excited to uncover new ground.

We should be living our lives the same way. We live in such a world that has laid out milestones and laid out expectations and what good is that doing for our society? We think we should get a degree, get a good job, be married and have kids by certain ages. We look down on those who put off school or choose to live a life solo. That’s their map - that’s their adventure. 

My friend, it took years for me to truly understand that detours are a part of life. Arguably, they are the best part. You choose your adventure and your adventure becomes your destiny. Do you want to live a life that is rigid or a life that is erratic? The choice is yours, but God didn’t put you on this Earth to live a life without detours or abandon. Go off course, enjoy the view - the adventure won’t last forever - keep editing your map, be your own tour guide and please, please - enjoy every single second.

Sincerely,

Your pal in adventure. 

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

The End of an Era

Dear friend,

It’s funny how we think we’re unbreakable. Our lives, our relationships, our risks. We live a life free from worry that “oh that’ll never happen to me”. But what happens when the unimaginable happens and we must learn to let it go? How do we know when to loosen our clenched fists and allow the blood to fill our white tipped knuckles?

Saying goodbye isn’t always a bad thing. People are in your life for a reason. We may not know that reason while they’re part of our journey and we may not know until long after they’re gone. We must remind ourselves that no matter what - the universe works in mysterious ways and for every hello there is a goodbye.

How do we say goodbye to someone who has meant so much? The person who is a scrapbook to us. Filled with memories, hurt, secrets, wishes, hopes, dreams. How do we let someone turn into a stranger holding so much of us with them? How do we turn off that love and let them move on?

That’s the beautiful thing about life. We get to be part of so many different journeys. We get to leave our mark on so many hearts and share our stories and lives with people who were once a stranger to us. Sure they hold part of you, but because of that, you added a chapter to their story and they are grateful for that. Life is meant for goodbyes. Sometimes my friend, they hurt. Sometimes, we want to hold on and eventually as time ticks on and on, the grip we hold on them and they us, will loosen. The knot that was holding strong will unravel and the memories will be a distant memory.

That person you need to let go in your life - set them free. Let them write their next chapter and thank them for being such a significant part of your book and be thankful for the sentences that they laid groundwork for. Be thankful for the edits they assisted you with, the mistakes they made and the emotions they caused. You need goodbyes to write a good story. Keep writing my friend, there’s another chapter waiting for you.

Waiting on another page,

Me

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

Beginnings

Dear friend,

Words won’t do it justice to write the thoughts that race through my brain. It’s crazy that beginnings are around every corner. It’s a simple hello, a goodbye, the credits to a movie, the start of a new season. They’re full of opportunities.

I want to always remember us this way. Honest, curious, sincere, so full of integrity that it feels like our feet will never hit the ground. I feel so high up in the air and this is the way I want to remember it. When things get rough, when it seems it needs to end for a new beginning, this is the us I want to remember.

I want to be the same old book you dust off and pick up because no matter how many times you read it, you love it just a little more. I want to be the movie you watch over and over because no matter how many times you watch it, you always notice something new. I want to be the road you love to drive down because no matter how many times you’ve driven on it - you can always find new beauty in places you didn’t know existed. I want to be the way you always remember - the way things simply just are.

Beginnings are scary, but necessary. Just because something didn’t work out doesn’t mean they never will. We must be curious and accepting to the changes we are presented with and embrace them with our whole being and our entire heart.

I will always remember things the way they are. I won’t forget what it feels like to see a new smile, embrace a new hug, the smell of a hometown, the safety with family or the way it feels to just be genuinely happy. The way we are I will always remember - no. matter. what.

I will love this life I’ve been given and challenge and seize every new day and opportunity. I look forward to the start of many new beginnings and the honor of being so many lasts.

Yours truly,

Me

[20somethingwithoutaclue]

The Sound of Silence

Dear friend,

Quiet - be still and embrace the beauty of the world slowing down. The noise, the chatter of the world - let it escape your mind so you can find your inner balance. Don’t let the world distract you of such a gift and such a necessity. How do we get there? Where do we find our quiet?

Find that place. That place that makes you happy and that you are okay with the world becoming still. That place that brings you such an immense amount of joy that it cannot be described in words. 

Find that thing. That thing that whenever you are participating in it, watching it or thinking about it, it makes the world fall silent. That thing that when you instantly have it - the noise and chaos fall into the shadows and you are no longer deafened by the brashness of the world.

Find that person. That person that when you are with them, the world seems manageable, good, and a safe place to be. That person that quiets the construction, the people on their phones, the sound of arguments, the news spewing unfortunate realities - find that person that brings you comfort and shuts the world off. That one person who has the power to help bring you to your inner peace and balance.

It doesn’t have to be literally quiet - all that matters is that whatever it is, whoever it is, makes you forget the noise and helps you embrace your sound of silence.

Go off and discover your silence. Go find that person, go do that thing or go find that place that shuts the world off.

There is peace in silence, there is comfort in your world slowing down. Do not be deafened by the chaotic world - go find your silence.

-Listening to the World Slow Down