1getthefuckout2

[1getthefuckout2]

Quiet hum

[1getthefuckout2]

All I do is waste time crying in my car

[1getthefuckout2]

All of my anger is at myself and how much I’ve failed myself

The one thing that makes me want to live is my top surgery

I fought so hard to get it I need to live

But I want to fucking die

I don’t want to die

I’m just lazy and pathetic

[1getthefuckout2]

I rlly am just a bottle of self hate and it’s ruined my life and I continue to let it ruin my life k am lazy and pathetic

[1getthefuckout2]

Like outside looking in

I would be humiliated if someone knew I found them attractive

Because if I wasn’t me and me had a crush on who ever I was, I’d be so uncomfortable and embarrassed like why does this loser like me

[1getthefuckout2]

I wouldn’t want to be around me either

[1getthefuckout2]

It is REALLY scary not wanting to die

It is really scary LOVING my family so much

I’m terrified of not having my mom

And dad

And idk

I’m just so spoiled

I’m terrified of not being able to live a full life with t top surgery and fall in love

I’m terrified of dying indoors

[1getthefuckout2]

The american government is rooted in racism and sexism. If it could be fixed, we wouldn’t have such a degenerate opposition to basic human decency.

It’s really really easy to not be a shitty person and yet so many people elect to do it anyways.

There are more monsters than humans in this world and they should be put down or caged.

We should be under a matriarchal society

I am not a woman

I am not a man

I know what I was born as but I don’t identify as that

Why do people care more about that than our homeless veterans? Or the pedophiles harming children? All the rapist that run rampant? Or the endless mass shootings. Or how many Americans are homeless or will be because you can not afford rent anywhere in this country without sacrificing your life. How many disabled people are treated as subhuman? Why?

The billionaires want more cogs in their machines

They don’t care if you die, you are replaceable.

My words suck but idk all it’s all true still

[1getthefuckout2]

Maybe it’s cause I’ve been off work

[1getthefuckout2]

I don’t want to die

[1getthefuckout2]

I’m the problem

No body ever saw how much I was hurting until

Now and I keep bringing up irrelevant shit that hurt me as a kid but doesn’t matter now

Nothing matters now

Everything is my fault

I should be better but I can’t

I’m too angry

My life is so easy what is my problem

[1getthefuckout2]

I can’t be better I’m fucking lazy the issue in everything is me the solution is to just remove myself

I don’t want to get better

I just want to be angry and sad

Remove myself from the situation

That’s the only thing I can do

I don’t want to die

But I don’t see another option

I. Lazy.

[1getthefuckout2]

I don’t deserve my parents they are too good for me

[1getthefuckout2]

Crying feelings good

[1getthefuckout2]

Fuck I do have to be stable and live to 2025 fuck.

Ugh.

[1getthefuckout2]

I can’t kill myself I HAVE to make it to 2025 atleast. Atleast.

[1getthefuckout2]

I have really violent visions sometimes

Never towards animals

Only people

And it’s always reactions

Like I get institutionalized and I get out and kill my parents and the rest of my family for putting me in there and then offing myself to avoid jail time

Or killing animal abusers idk I never see the blood or actually the dead body’s it’s like just blurred out or I see it in 3rd Person pov

I

Don’t

Want to do these things irl

I rather kill myself first

I’m fucking deranged :)

I shouldn’t let what someone said to me rule my life but I deserved it so I can’t be mad

I hate

My fucking brain

I feel

Insane

I feel

So

Fucking

Crazy

I want to scream