0mn1catalyst

[0mn1catalyst]

Finally, a non-political post, but that doesn’t change the Trigger Warning for sensitive subjects. I’ve been having strange dreams lately and felt I could use some input from the internet. I’ve had three dreams I remember fairly well and about half of the dreams I’ve had since then are relatively the same in structure to each other. If anyone knows anything about dreams (or cosmic horror???), insight would be greatly appreciated!~

(To be clear, these dreams physically feel different from any other I’ve had and have had subconscious effects to my irl, so I know it’s not a coincidence)

This first one starts with me running into the cafe on the college campus my friends & partners go to, absolutely decking a robotic doppelgänger of myself. Seeing them, I knew we fought before, but I wasn’t going to be beat by them again. That being said, my ass almost gets beaten to a pulp, again. Though, as the doppelgänger monologues about how I’m broken and need to be replaced by a model that won’t malfunction, my partner (the one that if I didn’t meet, I would either have killed myself or taken over the world like some super villain) did something, granting me an ever changing form that after a few moments settled in a feminine form, in line with how I see my true self (yeah I’m trans-fem, not important right now). Of course, using my new power I wiped the doppelgänger off the face of “reality,” and spent time with my friends, trying to figure out all of the new things that I was capable of. One or two weeks later at the same campus, the SCP Foundation’s MTF busted through every window in the cafe and attempted to capture me. Due to my new strengths, they realized that wasn’t working and resorted to striking a deal with me. They would be able to research what I was capable of, and I was allowed to be out while being monitored (to keep people safe, obviously). I saw no harm in letting them try to understand what I was now, and I didn’t really want this to be a repeating thing every time I go out, so I agreed. Not much happened after, but I remember there was some kind of testing that didn’t yield very impressive results.

My partner, the same person specifically mentioned in the last dream, heard that there was a little farmers market event being held by an after school program for the grade-schoolers in the area. While not really being a person that likes getting out much or someone with any money, I agreed to go anyway. When we got there, we met some old friends that weren’t in the same grade as us when we graduated and we looked around for anything we could buy from the shops. At the time, I only had $2. yeah, I’m broke and already feel bad about it. Anyway, I couldn’t buy shit, but there was a little shop (if I can even call it that. The person running it was one of the employees who ran the program at the time, and she was just sitting in between a table and the front desk. She offered to show me what she was selling, but even after I told her that I wouldn’t be able to afford anything, they insisted saying that everything they wanted to sell was two dollars. In an effort to not seem rude, I looked through their wares. I remember there were four rings, but I only remember two of them, a gold ring with a digital watch face that had some officially licensed Pokemon mobile games that I had never seen before. I already was wearing my apple watch, so I didn’t really need it, she understood. That’s how it went with the other two I don’t remember, but the last one had me intrigued. It was an obsidian ring but while one edge was smooth and clean, the other was chipped and jagged as if it had been fashioned into a blade. Of course, noticing the pattern with the previous three odd rings, I asked “So, what does this one do?” They looked at me, a few moments of silence pass, and they respond with ��It grants power rewind it grants wishes rewind it grants dreams, the only catch is if you were to remove the ring you would die.” I pondered my position, remembering my previous dream. Was that what I dreamt for myself? Not knowing what I was, but knowing that I was powerful? Realizing that knowing in this case wasn’t necessary, only being, I bought the ring. As I put it on, my body shifted to the same Eldridge form from the previous dream, and in the void of my mind I saw a code. One that has only been used in my journal so I may hide my secrets in plain sight and only share them with those I see fit. When I woke up, I forgot what the encrypted message was and I don’t think I’ll ever see it again (my bad). [At some point, I’ll draw the ring and put it here]

Ok, my bad, but this is the only one that I can’t describe in detail. I remember the part in my perspective better. Speaking of, This one starts from the perspective of an astronaut in a space station with about 11 other people. Something happened, it turns into a murder mystery. Some sleuthing happens, some drones malfunction, and one of the crew is found stuffing a bloody fur suit into a desk drawer so the case is solved. It wasn’t the person hiding evidence, it was the now dead furry! (Ignore the other dirty fur suits hidden in and under the desk) Now is when it stops feeling like a normal dream. The perspective changes to an observation deck overlooking a test chamber with a UFO looking space pod on four thin legs. Someone out of frame says to take them out of the simulation. After a scientist pulls a lever, he pod quickly rockets up from the concrete floor of the test chamber into the ceiling, scratching a large hole into and through it. Soon after it became airborne, it falls to the ground as quickly as it rose. once it lands, a panel opens letting the crew from the previous part of the dream out into the test chamber painted to look as if it’s outside. They’re treated like heroes? Last change in perspective for this dream, I swear. I look around a concrete building as I enter it, I know it’s an office building but I can’t help but notice that the whole place is built like an underground prison. Walking around I find the cafeteria, and while it really isn’t helping fend off the prison allegations, it was early and I didn’t get to eat. Most of the food was self served, except for meats and desserts. Fine, what’s wrong with human interaction? As I got my food though, I realized I couldn’t recognize a pattern, and of course I investigated (plus I could get some dessert out of my side quest). I got in line, where the person in front of me was taking forever to order. As I started to grow impatient, I noticed that people in the line were being treated differently than others, and it wasn’t by gender or race, but I could tell it was something different about how the people who were serving the food were looking at some people and how they treated them. Minutes pass. I grew impatient. I asked if I could order a small premade cake while they figure out what to order, because if this takes much longer I could be late to the meeting I was there for. the previously smiling worker turned and looked at me out of anger and annoyance, snapping at me to wait my turn and that I was lucky she was even considering not giving me any food at all for daring to talk to her out of turn. I was reasonably confused, and the people behind me began to look tired, some leaving the line. After i got my dessert, I ate thinking to myself that I needed to do something about this place. [I will also make a sketch of the UFO thing at one point, that’ll probably go here]

Now for the ones that have been randomly coming up.

They usually start in a remote warehouse similar to the big empty ones you see in animated Batman shows, but you can’t see either end as a large anthropomorphic animal (typically some kind of commonly known predator. Cat, wolf, goat, you get the idea). The large Beast speaks to a figure, bathing in the only light in the room. They mostly talk about the typical consumer and how the raising costs of living is at an all time high, and how someone like them should be more than willing to hire more workers, paying them their fair wages or lowering the cost of things people need to live. The figure runs into the darkness away from the Beast, until they are too tired to keep running. The Beast appears before them, looking down, pitting the poor fool. One cannot out run this creature in a realm of itself, nor can run from the consequences of their actions. The Beast offers to make a deal with the figure, “Do your part in fixing the natural order of man and corporation, and I won’t have to do it for you. You are not a necessary cog in machine you created, and no one will cry if you were to say, disappear.” Each figure would have their response, but it always ends the same. Either they agree and fix their part of the system, or are consumed by the Beast, never to be seen, heard, or thought of again. [I might try to draw this, but I am no artist. If I do try, it might be here, but don’t count on me sharing] If I continue to talk about this, I might make a tag for it, but we’ll see.

[0mn1catalyst]

Ok, starting really strong here. And political.

What the hell is up with humans? My uber-autism just can't understand why so many forms of human-made media enforce the idea that “together we are powerful!!” and we form groups that want to grow in number to become stronger, to beat up other groups with a similar goal but they disagreed with something someone said 400 thousand years ago so now we gotta kill em. Like what? No one cares. If the two groups disagree on something so trivial at this point, should it affect how those groups interact with each other? Sure, don't know why but sure. Should that stop the groups from combining and forming a mega group? Wtf, hell nah. Giga-tribe, let's go people! It's not that hard.

This shit isn't new.

Oh, but communism is a threat to democracy!! No, it isn't? Do you mean capitalism? Then kinda.

The US is really unhealthy when it comes to capitalism. the poor get poorer, the middle class stays the same gets poorer, and the rich get richer. Like, health care. It's so expensive that people can't afford it. They know at this point that they need to figure it out themselves, so they don't get even further into debt. They gotta start from scratch, like a caveman. The only human thing about late-stage capitalism is the fight against it. I mean, it would solve the problem if healthcare wasn't a business to be exploited, but actually did its job. You know, how it used to be? Have we made any progress? Have you noticed the pattern in this post yet?

Yeah, I know, a pattern. Cool, did your mom make it for you? No, no she didn't. Anyway, all of human history sums up to, “group no like other group for arbitrary reason, grrrr.” seriously, even when we are at the most intelligent and civilized in history we still act like we live in tribes. That being said, we kinda do, don't we? We follow some guy who says some other tribe is evil and we fight. The two things humans are good at are uniting and fighting, why can't we compromise with anyone? Capitalism would benefit from a teaspoon of socialism, that was the whole point of it! How hasn't the world put aside its differences yet? The things we could achieve if we weren't constantly fighting like wild animals would be astronomically incredible, but we're stuck here. Mankind could unite, but people are too busy arguing whether or not someone has the right to exist. The answer is right there. What was the point of asking us what our dreams are if we have to fight a face we will never learn the name of to never get it? Why do we always fight ourselves when we are all we have? Why do we kill each other? We are so past survival, it's not even funny.

Nothing needs to burn, nowhere needs to burn, no one needs to burn, this world does not need to burn.

[0mn1catalyst]

Serious topics will be mentioned. You have been warned.

I’m tired.

Hi! I’m 0mni! I joined Tumblr around the death of Twitter (the one just after the check marks) and I haven’t known what to do here since then. Now I’ve realized that I could just, say things. at around the time I joined this platform, I asked a good friend of mine how Tumblr works and they basically said that it’s not some race to riches. I guess, in that case, I’m just gonna use this platform to throw ideas into the void. maybe someone will find it, and realize that all of the things that I’ve made have meant something to me, have been a part of me, and are the result of everything I’ve been. I’m sorry that this is my first post here. If you are the person who I was talking about five seconds ago, I’m sure you expecting more from this and not some cheesy message about “My creations are a part of me,” but that is a view I hold, and have proven to people that their art has a part of them inside.

I’ve gotten sidetracked, but from what I’ve seen, we’re all neurodivergent here. Speaking of, I would describe who I am to you, the reader, but I believe that I’m better at being experienced than told about. You might be wondering, why Tumblr then? “If you wanted to throw your thoughts into the void, I’m sure there’s a much better place to do it.” There probably is random voice that I made up so I can keep talking like I’m writing a college essay and needed a transition to something else but didn’t have any ideas to so I created a strawman to keep rambling about nonsense that nobody else but me would understand. I chose Tumblr due to it having the reputation of being unhinged and (to my knowledge) doesn’t have a single chance being ruined by a baby with flamethrowers, rockets, and things named “X” (pretentious prick). I’d rather be on this hell site more than the one that killed the bird in front of the entire internet.

The world is still burning, this is not up for debate. The literal plague might not be talked about very often anymore, but we as people have started making everyone else the problem and themselves the victim in crimes that exist only in the minds of the most deranged, fighting to deceive the masses into beating and killing the innocent, while being the devils they described. I don’t see how people became so twisted, but I don’t know if I see it that way because people have gotten worse, or if I’ve just grown up and have started to see the truth. From a young age, I learned to hate. Hate people, hate my family, hate the world. but I found a person that I don’t despise, and they showed me that I could trust again, live again, live again. And I was happy. But, the world still burned. People still burned. I had changed, and it had meant nothing. I was just torn down and apart by more people.

From a young age, I learned anger. My wrath was unparalleled. I hurt people, lots of people. I can’t even remember how many, but I can remember that I am dangerous. Everyone has told me so, then they avoided me. Except for the person who now my “partner” (it’s way too convoluted and complicated for me to care to explain, and I’d rather them explain it when they’re comfortable doing so). Out of anyone, they stayed with me, they wanted to see the best of me, and I don’t know how but I think they finally got to start seeing it. I used to be compared with satan and demons regularly, by even my own family, but now I’m just… me? Of course I’m still a little gremlin and a pain to deal with, but now I’m just silly. If someone gets hurt from my antics, now it’s a mistake, misunderstanding, or a personal problem on their part. Of course, I’m not saying I’m perfect (because I am), but I am growing to be a better person, and I have them to thank.

That being said, I said I wouldn’t describe myself. I guess I should talk about what I make, huh? I’m a writer, but I have no books. I’m an artist with no canvas but the mind. Inside my mind is a multiverse of everything and nothing, a vast scape of creation that has originality in what is not. I won’t ever claim an idea I had was mine, because nothing is original. Creation has a reason to exist, a Catalyst, if you will. I am a storyteller with fairy tales from a far off land of Sin, balance, and self discovery. I don’t write to find my people, I do it to find myself and you should find your way to do so as well.

It’s been a great pleasure meeting you, and I wish to share my thoughts with you again soon. Remember you are loved.

I’m tired.