#feelings realization

[maefansblog]

Colin definitely misses Penelope when he gets back. He wants to spend as much time with her as possible. She sees Colin and, of course, gives him an ego boost.

Penelope grounded him through his letters on his first tour, and without her writing him, Colin went crazy. He lost sight of who he was to a point that he created a new social personality as a rake like he thought was expected from him. Why did he think it was expected? The men who would talk to him also had rake personalities, and women would give him attention if he was "charming" and flirty. His brothers even congratulated him for having more "proportion."

However, Pen sees through that. He starts seeing how important not only their friendship is but how much she means to him.

Someone was saying on here that he used the courting lessons to have Penelope forgive him, to be friends again, and to spend more time with him, and I agree. He doesn't really teach her much, except to have confidence and be herself. He's still going unchaperoned with her, touching her, joking/flirting with her, and meeting up in the middle of the night.

Ooo!! Another thought... maybe this is another reason why in the Willow scene, he is so happy to quit the lessons. I think not only his world turned upside down with the kiss, and he now sees Penelope in a more romantic light. Also, he believes she has fully forgiven him for his words from last season, and they can resume just being together that is outside society rules. The word "friend" starts to sound so strange coming out of his mouth when he is starting to describe their relationship. "Like wow! I like her, AND I can kiss her too? I didn't know I could do that! And I like doing that."

Yet now, she is saying she wants to look for a relationship with someone else, and Colin just wants to make her happiness, even if it's not with him. Which starts his torture.

I'm seeing so many new things!!!

Then his mom says that it's ok to gather courage if she also has feelings. Colin is like, "Absolutely! I'm a good boy, and I will gather courage to ask."

And he freezes. There are so many doubts. He has no idea if she likes him. His fear takes over, and Lord Debling shows up to start a courtship dance. Of course, Colin wants Penelope’s happiness, so if she chose Debling, he would let her.

The second that he realized that Penelope would be engaged and to a man that would not love her, that is when Colin gathers the courage to ask. Pen would not be happy with Debling, and Colin only wants her happiness. Colin realized he wanted to make her happy, she would make him happy, and he would do everything in his power to make her happy. For the rest of their lives. He knew in that moment that he could waste no more time. Who needs courtship when they've known each other most of their lives? Now that he knows she wants to be more than friends, he wants to marry her.

I'm going to watch Season 3 Part 1 again. I'm in a loop, my fellow Bridgerton watchers!

[hairmetal666]

Eddie's at a party, lunch box in tow, and he's making a fucking killing.

He sets up shop in the crowded kitchen, but that doesn't stop him from spotting King Steve in the living room. Harrington's face is still fucked up from the fight with Hargrove, and he's tipping a cup almost vertically into his mouth. He's not too surprised when--the next time he spots the jock--he has a can of beer in each fist.

More customers flood up to him, and he can't help but be a little grateful for the distraction. Harrington is one unrequited crush he just can't kick.

Lunch box cleaned out, Eddie heads outside for a smoke. He's fishing his cigarettes out of his jacket pocket when he hears a snuffling sort of shuffle that sends his heart racing.

He edges forward, just enough to make out the heap of a person half-heartedly sitting up against the house. A person in fitted blue jeans, tight polo, and Member's Only jacket; swoop of chestnut hair catching in the flash of fire from Eddie's Zippo.

"Harrington?"

The guy startles, stability wavering, eyes blinking too much. "Munson?"

"You alright, man?" He asks, though he can already tell that Steve is most definitely not.

Steve shrugs. "Why do you care?" It's not mean, sounds genuinely curious.

Eddie gets it. He has no reason on earth to show concern about King Steve. In answer, he taps his boot against Steve's sneaker, giving him a small smile. "Not sure. But I'm here, so..."

"Just needed some air. Clear my head."

"How much have you had to drink?" Eddie asks.

"One or two,"

"Dozen?"

Steve laughs. "You're funny. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"I've heard," Eddie says, can't help but laugh a little too. "Wanna talk about what's going on?"

Eddie thinks that'll be a "no," but then: "Nancy dumped me."

"Yeah, big news."

"Ugh, people are talking about it?" Steve whines. It's really cute and Eddie hates himself for noticing. Hates himself more when Steve loses his balance, tips onto Eddie's shoulder, and Eddie doesn't tip him back.

Eddie can tell that Steve isn't fully with him anymore. He's a little afraid to leave the guy alone, so Eddie talks about the latest Hellfire campaign. Sober Steve Harrington probably has no idea what dnd is, but the drunk version is kind of a rapt audience.

He's just explaining about owlbears when Steve's voice, soft and sad, says "I just want someone to love me, you know?"

The admission renders Eddie speechless for a second, his chest fucking aching for the jock. He says "Oh, Stevie," knows he sounds too sad, is sure of it when Steve's nose wrinkles (it's cute; it's so fucking cute. Eddie hates himself for noticing).

Before he can backtrack, Steve slumps over, body going limp as he passes out. "Jesus H Christ," Eddie barks.

With a heavy sigh, and way too much fondness, Eddie stands. "Let's get you home, sweetheart."

He gathers Harrington up in his arms--dude is heavy--and carries him around to his van.

---

Steve wakes up, head throbbing and tongue fuzzy, with no idea how he got home and into bed. Can't really recall anything after he stumbled outside, aside from talking to Eddie Munson. But maybe that was a dream? Either way, he's home, not really any worse for wear. It's enough to let him forget all about it; what's one drunken party in a life full of them?

That Wednesday, he opens his locker after the final bell, and a Hershey bar falls out. He picks it up, flipping it over to see a note on the foil wrapping, "thought you might need something sweet to cheer you up." It's not signed, and Steve slips it into his backpack, knowing he's got a silly smile on his handsome face.

The little gifts continue to show up once or twice a week. Candy, plastic vending machine toys, sketches of the school grounds, caricatures of classmates and teachers. Sometimes they even come with a note in handwriting he doesn't recognize.

Along with the little treats, he starts seeing Eddie Munson kind of everywhere. And it's not like Steve hadn't seen him before--guy was hard to miss--but he was never around this often. Wasn't around this often and he and Steve had never shared a smile, a quick bob of the head, a quiet hello.

It isn't long before they're talking. Nothing much, nothing serious. Complaining about teachers, about classmates; sharing weekend plans. Only now Steve can't pretend to not notice the way Eddie dimples up when he smiles, the subtle muscles that bunch under the sleeves of his Hellfire Club shirt, the long litheness of his legs. Steve knows he's attracted to other guys, it's just that he didn't realize he'd be attracted to Eddie.

The gifts keep coming. Once, he opens his locker to find a plastic ring fashioned into a golden crown and a note that says, "made me think of you, Stevie." There's something about the "Stevie" that catches deep in his brain, but he can't make it connect to anything.

A few months later, Steve opens his locker and pulls out a drawing. This one--it's of him. He's gazing out into space in a way that managers to be dreamy and wistful. The Steve in the drawing is lovely, and it makes something clench deep in his gut, that someone sees him like this.

Steve tries to be more aware of the people in his surroundings, to figure out who his admirer is. He's not very good at it, even as more sketches of him--all depicting him as a gorgeous, ethereal thing he definitely isn't--show up in his locker. Especially when, so often these days, the person he sees the most is Eddie.

---

The presents in his locker continue into April, and would probably last until the end of the school year, but Steve's got a migraine starting. He keeps aspirin in his locker, gets a hall pass out of English to get some.

When he reaches his locker, though, someone is already there, with the door open. Someone in ripped black jeans, heavy black boots, a black leather jacket, and patch covered denim vest.

"Munson?" He asks. His heart beats so hard it reverberates in his ears, making it hard to hear.

Eddie jumps back, hands fluttering, face flushing bright red. "Ste--Harrington! I--uh--," he's backing up, his hands held out from his body, like he's pushing Steve away even though they aren't touching.

"Were you--?" Steve tries to ask, but the words won't quite come. There's familiar warmth low in his stomach, a twisting that has nothing to do with his impending migraine.

"I wasn't doing anything, I swear," Eddie says. He's breathing hard, eyes too bright, and Steve thinks he might be about to cry, but then the metalhead is turning away, starting to run.

"Eddie, wait!" Steve calls, chasing after him without much thought. "Please!"

Eddie doesn't stop until after they've crashed out one of the side exits, are alone outside.

"It was you? Leaving the--?"

Eddie nods, presses his hands to his eyes. "Sorry, I'm sorry, Harrington. I just--"

"Don't be sorry," Steve begs. "It's been--I liked it."

"Even now that you know they're coming from the freak?" Eddie spits. He still hides his face behind his hands.

"It's sort of been the best part of my year, if I'm being honest."

Only now does the metalhead remove his hands, blink back at Steve, dark eyes wide with shock. "Really?"

"Yeah. It made me feel-- important, I guess? Like, maybe someone saw me as something more than King Steve."

Eddie smiles now, looks down at the pavement. "I just didn't want you to think that you weren't--" he stops then, presses his mouth tight.

"Didn't want me to think what?"

"That you weren't loved, Stevie."

The statement hangs between them, Eddie's face pinking again, as the words wrap their way around Steve's heart. Loved. That he's loved. It clenches at every part of him, and he surrounds himself with the truth of it, what all those little presents were saying without words.

"Eddie, I--" he's overwhelmed by the gesture, the meaning, the reciprocal buzz in his chest, because Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson, loves him, and this fact is turning Steve's world on it's head in the best way.

"I'm sorry, Steve, really. Please don't hate me, or--or--"

"It means so much to me," Steve says, his voice a little broken. He reaches a hand out, slow, telegraphing the movement. "Can I?" He whispers.

Eddie nods, and Steve strokes the skin of his face with his thumb. "Thank you."

The metalhead nods, leaning into Steve's touch, they shift close, until their foreheads meet, until they share the same air. They stand that way for a while, long enough that they hear the bell ringing, and only then does Steve break their quiet. "Eds?"

"Yeah, Stevie?"

"You wanna hangout some time?"

Eddie laughs. "Yeah. I really, really do, sweetheart."

[forestryprompts]

Character A: So, what if we don't hate each other as much as we used to?

Character B: Are you saying you've actually grown fond of me?

Character A: Don't push it. I just... tolerate you now.

[kenneth-black]

I find it very odd that they are focusing so much on Buck and Eddie during the Bachelor Party sequence in EVERY SINGLE PROMO 😶 Like Chimney has so many other male figures in his life that should realistically be present at his bachelor party…bobby, ravi, albert, tommy, his friend from Chicago, even Mr Lee perhaps but noooo…let’s put up a homoerotic montage of Buck and Eddie getting drunk and taking their clothes off throughout the night 😭😭😭

Something definitely must be cooking 🫣

[elmundodeflor]

And just like that, she’d fallen for him.

Spring. Summer. Autumn. The world had its cycles. There had been peace before war, and peace would come after bloodsheds and battles.

Katara looks at Zuko, at how he stares out to the width in the horizons. The curves of his nose and lips are soft, much like the colors of the leaves around them. The lines of his jaw and cheeks are sharp, in contrast.

He’s a beautiful man; she’s always thought so, even when they were enemies and he’d sworn he’d kill them. She likes it better this way, though— being friends, confidants, long-time companions. Kindness suits him more, either way. She likes how his face looks when he’s calm, — when there’s no rage to contort his scar, no scowl furrowing his brow.

She also likes that he knows her. That they can stand, silence pending between them, and it’s never too tense or uncomfortable. Zuko is just that good to her. He never puts too much pressure on her shoulders, — she’s had enough of that already. Instead, he soothes the rough edges. Lets her make her own choices and never judges her for them.

He looks back at her. An easy smile grazes his features; baffling, tortuous, beautiful. Katara has to fight the urge to freeze some water from her bottle and smash it across her searing face.

“Do you wanna…”, his voice cuts through the wind, raspy as it ever was. When he talks, it’s evident that he’s nervous. That he’s been circling around his thoughts and can’t seem to find the words. “I mean…”, he tries again. “Do you wanna stay here until you decide what to do?”

She hums, then turns her gaze back to the gardens. Aang had asked her to travel the world along with him, — to be by his side and help other people, from other nations and villages. She had yet to give him a proper answer.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to— go on missions, hear the masses’ suffering and be present in whatever way she could. Maybe, it was that she simply had pictured something different for herself. She could be so much more than just the “Avatar’s girl”! She could go home, lend a useful hand to Sokka and her dad advocating for their tribe. She could be an ambassador.

She could be with Zuko.

She can imagine the whole thing all too well, actually, — being on the palace, with him, until she could confront Aang about what to do. They could go for an evening stroll, feed turtleducks by the lake. Zuko’d make tea way past dinner time, and she’d laugh along with Suki when he’d burn his tongue by the first sip.

“There’s nothing I’d like more.”, she tells him, then. They are in one of the many balconies, staring out at the sun. The last scraps of summer have flushed with the breeze, and now the trees look all kinds of reds, yellows, oranges. Almost like they’ve caught on fire.

Zuko smiles at her again. A shy, wonderful thing that makes his eyes glint. His hair’s shaggy and overgrown, and falls limp between the honey of his irises. His cheeks burn a bright pink that, Katara deduces, might be from the gentle light warming up their faces.

“Okay.”, he says. He likes this, as well, — having her around. That he can open up to someone he can share his scars with, both the physical and the ones that lay underneath.

Katara inches close to him, just enough so that their elbows nudge together. The world has its cycles, she believes. Blue skies bleed into the darkness of the night. Ice defrosts when heated-up. And just like that, she’d fall for Zuko— delicate, and raw, and over and over. Helpless, like the moon that carries down the tides. Hopeless, like the autumn leaves that fall, ever so slow, and now gather at their feet like sea-foam.

“Okay.”

[wikiangela]

you can see it with the lights out (you are in love)

huge thank you to @honestlydarkprincess for hyping up all the snippets I sent you, ily haha <33

rating: G

words: 4.9k

summary: Turns out, Natalia does see Buck, though maybe not in the way he expected. In which Natalia realizes Buck's in love with Eddie and help him see it, too.

[read on Ao3]

___

It’s a quiet evening, the only sounds in the loft are the TV playing some dumb reality show, and the sounds of chewing, as Buck and Natalia eat their take-out dinner. Buck’s hunched over the coffee table, constantly shifting on the uncomfortable couch, eyes glued to the TV, as he’s devouring his meal. He’s aware of Natalia curled up on the other side of the couch, poking at her food and staring off into nothing, deep in thought. He leaves her to it, if she wants to tell him what’s bothering her, she will. Or maybe he’ll ask later.

They haven’t spoken in what feels like hours, just sitting there silently, keeping each other company. It’s been happening more and more often, with Natalia getting lost in her thoughts, and Buck weirdly not being the one to break the silence. He doesn’t mind it with her. It’s nice, pleasant. He really likes spending time with her, even if it’s just this. It’s comfortable. This relationship, just being with Natalia, feels comfortable. 

The silence is finally interrupted by Buck’s phone pinging with a text message. It’s laying on the coffee table and the screen lights up, so Buck peeks at it, and can feel an involuntary smile on his face when he sees Eddie’s name. He quickly picks up the phone to read the text and respond, when suddenly he hears Natalia speak up.

“Oh.” she whispers. He looks up at her, phone still in hand, thumb hovering over the text notification, chewing the last bite of his food, and she looks like she just had some sort of breakthrough. “Are you in love with Eddie?” she asks point blank, sounding curious, or like she already knows the answer, and Buck almost chokes on his food, coughing and dropping his phone back onto the table, reaching for his drink. 

“Wh- what?” Buck manages to exclaim once he’s pretty sure he won’t die. “Shit, why- where did this even come from?” he asks incredulously.

[read more on Ao3]

[avatarfan11]

Korra: I’m in love with you.

Asami: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Korra: I know.

Asami: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

[wangxianficrecs]

💙 Am I (Gusu Lan Cultivator, 24 M) the Asshole? by moonwaif

💙 Am I (Gusu Lan Cultivator, 24 M) the Asshole?

by moonwaif (@moonwaif)

M, 41k, Wangxian

Summary: After learning that his roommate and BFF Wei Wuxian is gay, Lan Wangji vows to be a supportive ally. Then one day, Wei Wuxian brings home another man. [Inspired by that one AITA subreddit story.] Kay's comments: AH! This story really is the epitome of one of my favourite tropes: oblivious Lan Wangji! It's so well-written and I love the misunderstandings so much and Lan Wangji's unintentional dickishness, because he doesn't realize that he's crushing hard on Wei Wuxian. He gets sooo jealous of Wen Ning, it's such a joy to read. Excerpt: The first thing he sees is, thankfully, Wei Wuxian. He’s lying on the couch, flat on his stomach and moaning while another man massages his back. Lan Wangji doesn’t breathe. “Mn, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian stirs, head turning slightly in the direction of the door, his eyes remaining closed. “That you?” Lan Wangji doesn’t answer. The other man—the one who is seated on top of Wei Wuxian, straddling his hips—withers under Lan Wangji’s glare, but he doesn’t stop massaging. “Oh, sorry.” Wei Wuxian laughs breezily. “This is, ah—Wen Qionglin. Wen Ning, this is Lan Wangji.” Wen Qionglin ducks his head. “P-pleased to meet you.” Lan Wangji refuses to look at him. “What are you doing?” he grits out, teeth clenched. “Night hunt,” Wei Wuxian grunts. “Threw out my back. Ugh, yeah, Wen Ning, right there . . .” Wen Qionglin digs his thumbs deeply into Wei Wuxian’s lower back, while Wei Wuxian makes some more lewd noises. Lan Wangji has the sudden impulse to grab them and throw them both off the couch. Instead he stomps off to his room, tosses his duffle bag on the bed and starts to unpack. Aggressively. Is this why Wei Wuxian didn’t text Lan Wangji, because he was busy fooling around with Wen Qionglin?

pov lan wangji, modern setting, modern with magic, roommates, oblivious lan wangji, friends to lovers, misunderstandings, miscommunication, jealous lan wangji, jealous wei wuxian, implied/referenced homophobia, lan wangji has friends, angst with a happy ending, feelings realization, hurt wei wuxian, emotional hurt/comfort, coming out

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[generalluxun]

Bugged by a Bee, ML Fanfic

Chlonette for Femslash Feb! Last one I posted had some formating issues, so I'm going to just throw the pic and the link here!

This is a reverse! AU based on @lulu33-art 's awesome interpretation of a heroic/nice/SO PINK Chloé to go along with emonette's brooding grumpiness.

Main Theme: Feelings Realization. Shadybug PoV

Summary: Shadybug chases Honey Bee across the rooftops of Paris. The resistance hero is ore than Shadybug bargained for, and not in the way she expected. Faced with heroism and kindness from the least likely of sources, something stirs within the dark reflection of Ladybug.

(Image of Honey Bee reposted with permission. Wednesday Fanart unrelated(but adorable!)

[outcastpack]

Turns out I don't want new, I want you

In which Liam realises he needed to stop lying to himself and everyone around him, and make a decision. To take a risk and fight or settle for safe.

No matter what choice he made, someone was going to be hurt in some way tonight.

What's this. Another fic in a few days. Yes it is!

Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt, Hayden Romero/Tracy Stewart, Isaac Lahey/Scott McCall, Liam Dunbar/Original Male Character(s), Mentioned Malia Tate/Kira Yukimura, Past Theo Raeken/Original Female Character(s)

Characters: Liam Dunbar, Theo Raeken, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Mason Hewitt, Corey Bryant (Teen Wolf), Malia Tate, Isaac Lahey, Tracy Stewart, Hayden Romero, Original Male Character(s), Original Child Character(s), Josh Diaz (Teen Wolf), Mentioned Kira Yukimura - Character

Additional Tags: Liam Dunbar Loves Theo Raeken, Theo Raeken Loves Liam Dunbar, Bisexual Liam Dunbar, Bisexual Theo Raeken, Protective Tracy Stewart, Parent Theo Raeken, Liam Dunbar feels a lot of things, Wedding Rings, Feelings Realization, Pining Liam Dunbar.

[dnffics]

revelations in distance and proximity

by indigoh

Rated M, 10.4k words

Tags: Bodyswap, Angst, Comfort, Feelings Realization

Summary:

“You scare me, George.” George inhales, surprised, as if he hadn't expected Dream to speak. “I scare you?” George asks him. “Yeah,” Dream answers, breathless. George looks at him as he waits, giving Dream time to elaborate. “Sometimes, when you talk to me,” Dream sighs, “I feel like I can’t breathe.” Or, 2020 Dream and 2023 Dream unknowingly swap bodies for a day to heal past wounds. 2020 Dream has an opportunity to confront feelings he’s pushed down and repressed while 2020 George gets some of the reassurance he needs.

[hairmetal666]

NSFW; Modern AU

Eddie feels like the luckiest man alive, that he gets to count Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley as his best friends, but he wasn't sure about it at first. No matter how often his new little sheepies praised Steve, Eddie remembered high school. He remembered the Steve that was a grade-A, top-choice asshole. But then--Robin comes out to him. And Steve knows. Steve knows and he's cool about it. So, Eddie comes out to them and Steve is cool about that too.

It fucks Eddie up a little, if he's being honest. Like, Steve, objectively, is hot, but Eddie's only ever been superficially attracted to him. He thinks the whole jock archetype just doesn't do a lot for him. Too much negativity attached to their whole thing. But he'd be lying if he said part of him isn't intrigued.

He doesn't develop a crush on Steve, though. Somehow, through all the charm and bitchiness and not-so-secret kindness, his heart remains unmoved. It must be the jock thing.

And then he's scrolling on Twitter. He's scrolling on Twitter and he's not looking for porn, not even in a "Oh no, I never look at porn on the internet" way, and there's this video.

The first thing he sees is the lowered waist band of a pair of 90's-style basketball shorts, Pacers logo just visible. Then it's the long fingers, the broad hands. They're skimming down a tanned, toned torso, not a six-pack but it's somehow sexier this way. Their path draws Eddie's eyes to the dot of moles, the spread of freckles. They're so kissable, Eddie's mouth waters. Those fingers, they linger against the trimmed thatch of dark hair just peaking out over the elastic, before pulling that waistband lower.

Eddie's hard. Rock hard. Fuck, he's so hard a wind gust could make him come.

The guy on screen, he's got his gorgeous dick in hand, giving himself slow strokes and thumbing at the tip to collect the obvious slickness beading there.

It's not really a decision when Eddie unzips and shoves his jeans just low enough to take himself in hand. On screen, the hand speeds up, the stomach shivering, breath coming in soft bursts, somehow almost more intoxicating than the jerking off.

Eddie times his strokes with the video, coming apart faster than he ever has watching porn. He can tell the guy is close, his grip goes tighter, his breath shorter. Eddie's about to go off like a fucking rocket.

The hand stills, the guy's cock fucking quivers, and he's ready for the money shot, will totally come at the same time, except--it doesn't happen.

The screen goes black.

Eddie comes all over himself.

"Fuck, shit, goddamnit," he hisses. He flails around trying to find something to clean himself up with and pause the video so he can read the fucking text.

As wiped up as he can be without showering, Eddie runs the video back a few seconds to see the words, "want the full experience? Subscribe to my OnlyFans."

He's never clicked a link so fast in his life. He's never really explored OnlyFans before, but he signs up for the free trial without a second thought.

The guy's username is KingJock016 and under usual circumstances, Eddie would be disgusted, but it's too late for that. He's already scrolling through thumbnails of hands and dicks and asses and butt plugs and dildos, pausing briefly at a preview of one where KingJock is bent at the waist, perfect ass--dotted with freckles-- framed by the bands of a jock strap. He's deliciously hairy, deliciously ripe, and Eddie is firming up again.

Without fully meaning to, he hits play, and the video starts with KingJock already rocking his cock into his fist. He's moaning in this one, full throated, almost desperate. And there's something about it, something that catches in Eddie's brain, but he can't focus on that when he's watching KingJock trace a finger around his own asshole.

It's insane that Eddie is this far gone without seeing the guy's face, that his toes are curling at the mere sight of KingJock fucking himself. The sounds are obscene, the slick and snap of skin on skin, the throaty moans, the creak of the bed as KingJock rocks into his fist and back onto his fingers.

Eddie's not even touching himself, and he's already standing at complete attention, a heady ache already starting in his balls.

And then KingJock flips his head back, revealing a shock of chestnut hair, the taut lines of a mole-kissed throat, the hard line of a jaw. One eye flashes open, looks directly at the camera, at Eddie.

It's fucking Steve Harrington.

Eddie comes all over himself again.

It's Steve. His best friend, Steve. His straight best friend. Making content clearly targeted for queer men? I mean, Eddie can't fault him. Like, nice work if you can get it, but Steve???

He hasn't done anything to clean up because his thoughts are spiraling too hard. How long has this been going on? Does Robin know? Should Eddie subscribe ? Leave a comment about how this video made him come untouched? Join a live? No, no, of course not. Steve was his real life friend. He couldn't hang out with him and then watch him fuck himself on a wall-mounted dildo.

He hits subscribe though. He'll hate himself for it later. It's only for the trial period, anyway.

He wipes himself off, but the come is already drying, sticky, against his skin and in his body hair. He needs a shower. He needs to practice being normal around Steve now that he--

Shit, Steve. They're going to the movies tonight. Steve's supposed to pick him up in, shit, fuck twenty minutes.

Eddie hurls himself into the shower, moves so quickly he doesn't really have time to think about Steve having an OnlyFans, about how hard he got off to his friend, about how he keeps having flashes of Steve's perfect body play through his head.

It's hard to ignore it when Steve is standing at his door in his form hugging jeans and little t-shirt and Eddie's done for, a dead man; here lies Eddie Munson. He's just standing in the doorway, smiling at Steve and he knows it's manic, but he can't slip it.

"Are you okay?" Steve asks. Eddie hears the words but all it does is remind him of KingJock's breathy moans.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" He keeps smiling.

Steve's eyes narrow. He leans into Eddie's space. "Did you drop acid again? We told you not to do it alo--"

"I didn't! Nothing's wrong."

"Your face is all flushed. You feeling okay? You could have a fever."

Before Eddie can react, Steve's resting the back of his hand on his forehead. Eddie flinches, swatting Steve away, which devolves into a brief slap fight.

"I don't have a fever, man. I'm fine. Hot shower, is all."

"If you say so. Ready to get going?"

Eddie nods. He can totally do this. He can pretend he doesn't know about the OnlyFans and the face Steve makes when he's about to come.

The drive is quiet. Too quiet. He thinks his bones are trying to rip through his skin.

He starts talking, isn't even tracking what he's saying. Dnd and then suddenly it's hobbits and then Star Trek for reasons even he doesn't comprehend. He glances over at Steve, and he's burnished golden from the light of the setting sun. He's so beautiful. How did Eddie miss it all this time? Why did he--

"Get any new subscribers lately?" He hears come out of his mouth.

Steve slams on the breaks, sending Eddie careening into he dashboard.

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck," Eddie shrieks. The car behind them lays on the horn, then speeds past when it's clear they aren't moving.

"Why are you saying what the fuck at me?" Steve hisses back. He hits the gas, pulling the car to the side of the road. "Eddie--what the fuck?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he chants. He hides his head in his hands. "I didn't mean to--I'm so fucking sorry."

"How'd you find it?"

Eddie snorts. "One of your videos showed up on my TL. That's the algorithm for you."

"Jesus christ," Steve mutters. "You weren't supposed to--it's--"

"What are you even doing, man?"

"My Family Video salary won't cut it, if we're moving to Indy."

"You're not even gay."

Steve mumbles something, but he's looking out the window and not at Eddie at all.

"What was that?"

"Maybe I am!" Steve doesn't shout, but it's forceful.

Eddie's mouth drops. "Does Robin know?"

Steve stares forward, hands tightening on the wheel.

"And you didn't tell me?" It hurts, he's surprised how much, so much it takes his breath.

"It wasn't like that, Ed."

"Oh, no? Then what was it like?"

"It doesn't matter."

"The fuck it doesn't! I'm the first person you should've come to! I know exactly what it's like."

"No, you don't." Steve explodes. "You don't because you made me realize. And I couldn't talk to you about it because I like you. And, yeah, maybe starting an OnlyFans as part of my gay awakening is weird to you, but it's done a lot for me, okay?"

Steve said a lot of stuff just there, a lot of important things, but Eddie's glitched out on one part. "You like...me?"

"Yeah, like. Have you met you?" Steve slumps in his seat, like he's defeated. "You're fucking beautiful, dude. And smart and funny and passionate. Nerdy as hell. I didn't stand a chance."

"But I'm--" Eddie shakes his head. "I mean, look at me."

"I have." Steve nods. "A lot. I really like what I see."

"When I realized it was you in those videos, I came all over myself. Untouched," Eddie blurts. He flushes deep crimson immediately. "Oh my god, I can't believe I just--"

Steve is laughing, hands pressed over his mouth.

"Shut up, shut up," Eddie swipes at him. "It's not funny, oh my god."

When Steve gets it together, he finally looks at Eddie, and there's pink in his cheeks and a shine to his eyes. "That might be the most gratifying thing anyone has ever said to me."

"Yeah, well. It was humiliating."

"It's hot, Eddie."

His blush hasn't cooled even a bit. "Yeah?" His voice comes out deep, husky.

"I wouldn't mind, uh--that is, if it's cool with you--seeing it for myself?"

Eddie giggles. "You wanna make me come untouched, sweetheart?"

Steve shifts in his seat. "I'd really like that. Will you let me?"

"Uh-huh, absolutely, definitely. If you don't put this car in drive and get us back to my place, I'm going to literally die."

Steve laughs again, a bright, free thing, and he swings back onto the road. "Not yet, you aren't."

That sends a shock of pleasant shivers down Eddie's spine, right to his dick.

"Maybe we can even make a video together sometime."

Eddie, much to his deep embarrassment, whines, hips shifting with the sudden need for relief. "Oh, you didn't want me to die before because this is how you're planning on killing me."

Steve turns to him, a smirk on his lips and a devilish glint in his eye. "You have no idea what I'm going to do to you."

[neontoad]

“Chuuya.”

As always, Chuuya was working hard to earn the Employee Of The Month award. Paying no mind to Dazai, he didn't take his eyes off the door of the office building they were assigned to watch. 

“Chibi.”

No answer came and Dazai sighed. 

It was all P-O-I-N-T-L-E-S-S. 

No one was going to get in or come out of the building on a fucking Sunday. Even criminals take weekends off once in a while. Except for them, it seems. 

“Chuuya, I’m bored.”

Chuuya clicked his tongue and shot Dazai a look of steel. 

“Do your fucking job, Dazai,” Chuuya spat. “And shut up.”

Dazai chose to ignore Chuuya’s thoughtful advice. “Such a workaholic! You are going to get a heart attack before you’re 20.” 

For a moment Dazai pondered if he should mention that Chuuya will probably be no taller than a barstool when he’s 20, but decided against it. Chuuya probably expects this jab, anyway. This just takes all the fun out of making a joke.

Dazai sighed again and fell into the pile of leaves.

The criminal organisation based in the building was so minor, so insignificant, that Dazai wondered if there was another reason they, out of all people, were assigned to this torturous, mundane mission. 

Double Black’s forte was offensive action, not surveillance. Beat somebody up? Sure. Destroy an enemy’s headquarters? Easy. Get the information out of particularly uncooperative people? Say no more. 

This shit? Give it to some low-ranking goon. 

At least the location was somewhat pleasant. The building was situated across from a small park, and that was where he and Chuuya had been waiting for hours, the bright early morning turning into a sunny afternoon. 

Late October had been showering Yokohama with sporadic rains attacking its citizens at the least convenient moment, its lead sky hanging low as an omen of the upcoming winter, piercing winds getting colder with each passing day.

Today was the complete opposite. 

As if trying to make up for the weeks of gloom and greyness, the clouds decided to open like a curtain and let the sun grace the city with its presence one more time. 

Dazai slid his bandage off his eye and looked at the blue sky through the intricate weaving of the maple trees. The sun on his face, the flicker of sunlight through the leaves, the faint humming of people talking in the background…  

He had to admit - it felt really good.

No one had to know, though. 

With another tragic sigh, loud enough for Chuuya to hear (of course chibi pretended not to), he sat down and started rummaging through the fallen leaves. Chuuya gave him a side-eye. Of course, Dazai pretended not to see. 

Collecting leaves and arranging them by colour felt way more useful and exciting than watching an empty office building for hours on end. The shades of yellow, red and orange danced in front of Dazai like fireworks in his hands as he was getting lost in painting a picture of autumn in front of him, the last farewell to the colourful season before the cloud curtains closed again and drowned the city in gloomy chill. 

Chuuya sighed and sat on the grass. He was still looking at the door, but his eyes kept darting to the vivid gradient patchwork blanket Dazai was creating in front of him.

“Grow the fuck up,” Chuuya mumbled and took a leaf from the ground. “The fuck are you doing?” His eyes quickly scanned the gradient carpet, and after a moment of consideration, he put the leaf between two others. 

It fit perfectly. 

The dance of colourful foliage got even more energetic now that two pairs of hands started arranging the leaves in a perfect pattern, the tribute to the most colourful season growing by the minute.

“It’s mine!” Dazai shouted when he saw Chuuya reaching for a large orange maple leaf, its bright colour calling to be added to the collection.

It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was his.

He slapped Chuuya’s hand and grabbed the leaf, giggling triumphantly. 

His eyes met Chuuya’s. 

The azure blue matched the bright sky, the shine in Chuuya’s irises sparkling brighter than the sun, this dazzling view momentarily making Dazai forget what he was doing in the first place. 

Dazai had always known Chuuya’s personality was bright like fire, but he had never realised how vivid and spellbinding Chuuya was on the outside, too. 

He looked at the leaf shaking slightly in his hand. 

As if carefully picked from a palette of a million colours with an eyedropper tool, the colour of the leaf perfectly matched Chuuya’s fiery hair, the whole world suddenly tinted with a bright shade of red, the colour making the sunny day even warmer. 

“What are you waiting for?” The feigned annoyance in Chuuya’s voice was debunked by the faint lines in the corners of his eyes, and Dazai’s eyes lingered on them, slowly travelling to the strand of hair tucked behind Chuuya’s ear and the ponytail he used to make fun of.

What was so funny about it?

“Oi, shitty Dazai. You awake?”

“Gorgeous,” Dazai whispered out. “Simply gorgeous.”

Was the mission useless? Sure. 

But… Was it a complete waste of time?

No. Definitely not a waste of time at all, Dazai thought and put the leaf behind Chuuya’s ear, his heart squeezing at the sight of the rosy blush blossoming on Chuuya’s cheeks, another stunning colour making the autumn day just a little bit brighter. 

Thank you for reading! Make sure to check out this wonderful artwork by Nezu on twt <3

[alleiwentcrazy]

“Hey, Steve—”

He stops, placing his feet carefully, all too aware of the added weight strapped to his back. The ax makes him sway slightly—or maybe it’s not the ax, he thinks, turning back. Maybe it’s the weight of Eddie’s gaze crossing with his, maybe it’s the promise of something awful looming over them. Maybe it’s the stench of fear and decay, so prominent here in the world of creatures that want nothing but to destroy.

The moment feels heavy, giving them all another reason to hesitate. They look at each other for a long second, Steve’s gaze curious, Eddie’s skittish and unsure. To see Eddie Munson unsure is so rare even Dustin looks surprised. Steve feels exposed, more exposed than when he was half-naked and everyone could practically see the inside of his body. He desperately needs Robin to reassure him that he’s still there because one more look into Eddie’s eyes and he’ll lose it.

The silence between them seems to stretch into eternity, Eddie’s gaze drops, then he looks back up, and suddenly—

Suddenly Steve’s six again, roaming around the new house his parents bought not too long ago. The house is weird, Steve doesn’t like it. It’s bigger than the other one, looks fancier and Steve has already been instructed not to touch anything and to play only in his own room should he find it necessary. Entering his father’s study is strictly forbidden, so naturally, his mind is set on trying to get inside that room somehow, even if it means getting in trouble. But he has to find it first.

He passes yet another guest room when he catches something with the corner of his eye. His tiny feet carry him to the window, and then immediately outside into his brand new backyard, where in the furthest corner he finds a big, spectacularly green tree with—yes! A treehouse!

He’s so excited, finally having something just for himself in this big, empty house, where he’s not allowed to do anything but breathe and study. He’s up the ladder in no time, using as much force as he has to lift the flap and hoist himself inside.

He looks around and jumps in excitement. It’s perfect. It’s like—like magic, like he has teleported himself into another child’s room. There are stacks of colorful books in the corner, a patched-up blanket on the floor, some toys, some board games, even. Is this place real? He can’t wait to tell his mother how grateful he is for that, he’ll have to give special thanks to his father, too, because his father always says that everything he has is due to their goodwill—

Steve’s startled when he hears the ladder moving again, then he takes a step back when the flap goes flying open and a head full of dark, curly hair appears just next to his feet.

They stare each other down, the intruder’s dark eyes wide in shock, Steve’s in fear mixed with surprise. It’s a boy, probably around his age, but how did he get here?

“Are you… real?” Steve asks, not knowing what else to do.

The boy furrows his brows. “Obviously?”

They stare at each other for a second longer, then something flashes on the boy’s face and he nods to himself like he’s made up his mind. Then he clambers inside and stands in front of Steve. He’s a little bigger, dressed in clean but shabby clothes. His gaze is scrutinizing.

“Why are you here?” he asks, his tone accusatory. Steve wants to take another step back, but his feet are locked in place.

“We’ve moved in today.”

“Oh,” the boy’s face deflates, but his arms are still crossed protectively over his chest. “For good?”

“Uh. Yes?” Steve feels out of his depth. His parents told him that he shouldn’t talk to strangers, but… “Why are you here?”

“There’s a hole in the fence,” the boy shrugs, almost nonchalantly. “It’s my hang-out spot.”

Steve isn’t sure what a hang-out spot is, exactly, but he still nods. Neither of them speaks for a moment, then the boy’s arms drop to his sides and he reaches for the blanket.

“Alright, I’ll get my stuff and—”

“No!” Steve yells, clutching the other end of the blanket and trying to yank it from the boy’s hands. “I mean… We can play together here. These things are cool,” he says, his face getting hot. He’s telling the truth, the things in the treehouse are cool, but also—Steve isn’t allowed to play with other children, not the ones he’d like to play with, anyway. Only the ones his parents choose. This boy is none of those.

He takes a look around, clearly thinking about his options. Then his eyes land on Steve. He looks and he looks, and Steve feels a little like when the teachers his father hires to train him in things he doesn’t really understand ask him questions to which he has no answers.

This time, the outcome of the evaluation, as they like to call it, is positive. The boy drops the blanket.

“And you won’t tell your parents I’ve been here? Ever? You can’t tell.”

“I won’t,” Steve says earnestly, shaking his head. He won’t tell. He really won’t.

The boy looks at him for a while longer and then, seemingly out of nowhere, he smiles. His smile is wide and welcoming, so wide Steve can see the missing tooth in the back of his mouth. “Okay,” he says, simply. He’s so eager to play he immediately starts gathering toys and books. When he reaches for something lying on a high shelf, his tee rides up.

There’s a big, angry bruise on his back.

Steve wants to ask about it, but his parents told him not to pry—

“What’s your name?” he asks instead. The boy whips his head around and furrows his brows at Steve again.

“You sure you won’t tell your parents?” Steve nods. “Promise?”

“Promise,” he replies without hesitation.

“I’m Eddie,” the boy replies, sitting down on the floor and urging Steve to sit down next to him. He complies.

“I’m Steve,” he introduces himself, sitting down somewhat gingerly. The boy grins again and Steve can’t hold back his own smile any longer.

“Nice to meet you, Steve. How much do you know about elves?”

In no time, they become secret best friends. They hang out almost every day throughout the summer, and Steve learns so much about magic and fantastical worlds and creatures he can’t think of anything else. Sometimes they just sit down and draw, sometimes Eddie reads his books out loud, forcing Steve to see how cool they are—Steve’s not too good at reading himself, but he enjoys Eddie’s stories.

Eddie has a knack for making things up. One day, when Steve hoists himself inside in the worst of moods, having heard that he really is and probably will forever be no use in business from his father, Eddie just starts telling him a story Steve’s sure he’s never heard before. Then, next time, Eddie is in the worst of moods, fresh circular marks burned onto his arms, so Steve takes his poster paints and decorates the skin around them to make them prettier—which, sure, not the smartest idea, but it works, Eddie’s laughing, all okay.

When school starts, they keep it a secret. They pretend that they don’t know each other in the corridors, giggling between themselves when no one is around. They still meet up afterward, even in winter—then summer comes and everything’s great again. Steve has a best friend, and they play together and they share secrets together, and his parents can’t do anything about it, because they don’t know.

Steve has a best friend. Until said best friend disappears suddenly during the school year. Without a word. Steve has heard something about his parents, his father, but he’s not allowed to ask questions—he promised not to tell, didn’t he?

He doesn’t ask, but he still hopes. Every day, he climbs up that ladder and waits, waits so long, until the memory of Eddie’s voice gets blurred and distorted, and his smell no longer lingers on the things he left in their treehouse.

Steve gets to see him again when he’s in middle school, freshly moved to Hawkins, not expecting to meet anyone he knows here in the middle of nowhere, Indiana. He’s so surprised on the first day of school—their new house has no treehouse in the backyard, but Eddie is here. It must be Eddie. His hair is buzzed and he looks like he’s had enough of life, but it’s him.

Only, he doesn’t seem to care that it’s Steve. Maybe he doesn’t recognize him? But he does. When their paths cross in the corridor, he stops so suddenly, his eyes go big, just like they did in that treehouse for the first time. He’s just about to smile when Tommy, Steve’s new classmate, appears around the corner, calling out for him, and Eddie’s face turns to steel. Steve remembers his accusatory glare. It’s there.

Eddie turns heel and runs. Steve tries to talk to him again, but it doesn’t work. Tommy hangs around him like a vulture, scaring Eddie away—and besides, is it really Steve’s job to talk to him? He’s not the only one that’s confused, hurt, even.

Oh, it hurts like hell. It was never supposed to happen.

Steve spends a few nights crying over that. Then comes high school, people start calling him King Steve and Eddie looks at him with such disgust it makes Steve want to take a shower whenever their eyes lock in class. Steve’s senior year is torture because he shares it with Eddie, who clearly hates him so much he’d spit on him if he had a chance. Even after Steve’s fall from grace, Eddie doesn’t stop looking at him with anger burning in his eyes.

And he’s almost always looking, while Steve misses him like crazy.

Eddie kinda makes him think that he’s completely unlikeable. That he’s broken and can’t be fixed, can’t befriend anyone—until Robin.

Oh, Robin. Amazing, caring, beautiful, smart, snarky Robin. The relationship he builds with her quickly becomes the most important one in his life. She’s as much a part of him as his hand or heart is. Steve’s not a poet, but he’s sure, really sure that she’s the one thing he didn’t know that was missing in his life—like a part of his soul was wandering somewhere around the universe, lost and unable to come back without help.

What he has with Robin is unique, complete and incomparable. No one understands him the way she does, no one loves him the way she does. Among others, these are the things that make their friendship so unlike any other relationship Steve’s had. Robin isn’t just his friend. Robin is something entirely different, something Steve can’t, for the life of him, put into words.

On rare occasions, though, thinking about her does bring up memories of Eddie. Was it similar with him? No, it wasn’t. But then what was it, exactly?

Steve’s quite successful in pushing those moments away. He is, even when the kids join Eddie’s little nerd club. He is, even when the manhunt starts.

It’s the piece of shattered bottle pressed to his neck that makes him lose it. It’s Eddie’s misery, fear, and the real, tangible danger he’s in. The words he says to Steve along the way (you'd have let me die if Nancy hadn't jumped?). It’s the fact that they still don’t talk, not about things that matter, even though they suddenly have to coexist in a world that wants them destroyed and they have to do everything in their power to stop it. Together.

It’s the fact that Eddie may not make it. Even if they get out of the Vecna situation, will they be able to save Eddie from the people that see him as some kind of evil sent by the heavens to decimate them?

Steve’s worried, so worried. He’s worried about the kids—hell, Max is his top priority. But at the same time, other thoughts float in the back of his mind and he can’t seem to shake them off.

He can’t keep them all safe. Someone has to risk everything, they just don’t know who, exactly. For that, Steve hopes it won’t have to be Eddie. Leaving things unsaid… It will kill him too, eventually.

Steve hopes it won’t have to be Eddie. He hopes. He hopes and hopes, and—

Eddie’s gaze is on him again. Not skittish. Still scared, still unsure, but set, at the same time.

“Make him pay,” he says, a sense of finality overpowering his words.

Steve can’t believe it. He wants to scream, he wants to shake Eddie’s shoulders until he sees some sense. That’s not what you wanted to say! That’s not how it ends! That’s not how we part before possible disaster!

And he’s angry, he’s sad, it hurts like hell, because—what if Eddie doesn't care about him at all? Has he ever cared? Is he supposed to care for both of them? What’s he supposed to do now? Go up there, slap him, yell at him, hold him?

Steve doesn’t know where that last thought comes from. It’s certainly not something he should do at any point.

The eyes of Nancy, Dustin and Robin drill holes into his skull. He’s waiting for too long, hoping that maybe it’ll resolve itself.

Only it won’t. Eddie won’t say anything else. Steve won’t run up there and hold him. Instead, he nods. Eddie nods back, sealing the deal. Steve holds his gaze a little longer – their last chance.

It goes unnoticed. His team sets out and for the sake of them both, Steve is going to hold on to the hope of seeing another day.

[rosstrytobe]

I wouldn't ever think about milionion times that Tim could actually comfirm Buck pining era and feelings realization for Eddie with a post of an Hitchcock movie

🙀🙀

[bellafarella]

♡ BUDDIE: new fic ♡

I fear you feel a different way

Summary: Buck watches the show Heartstopper while babysitting Christopher and starts to realize some things about himself, and after a talk with Maddie everything falls into place.

Notes: This is a one shot (possibly a second part to come if yall want it) based off of a tweet saying: “someone write a fic about season 7 buck watching heartstopper for the first time i need it for reasons”

I took it upon myself to write a little something that turned into this!

This takes place as of 7x04 during the episode when Eddie asks Buck to babysit so he can go out with Tommy. Everything else that happened in the episode isn’t compliant here, this is a reimagining if you will, with some minor things that are canon in the ep!

Hope yall enjoy it! 🥹🫶🏼

You can read it on ao3