#aziraphale has priorities

[gleafer]

When a certain someone keeps dropping into the shop too often and a demon has had enough.

[bullagit]

honestly it's just funny to me when people are like "aziraphale had to be talked into even trying to save the earth blah blah blah" trying to make him out to be a Bad Person. meanwhile in canon it took like, 1.5 conversations and less than a day because he DID want to do it and jumped on the first feasible idea.

and then they conveniently ignore that he spends the rest of season one actively continuing to do everything in his power that he can think of to save the earth, despite every obstacle and despite CROWLEY actively saying they should give up on that and run away together instead

(which all these same people conveniently... never seem to mention or frame as crowley being a Bad Person. the same way they never seem to try to frame him calling aziraphale stupid or his little "i'm leaving forever and when i'm gone i'll never even THINK ABOUT YOU AGAIN" moment as him being a bad person, instead suddenly being much more willing to sympathize and give him the benefit of the doubt. hmm go figure).

like he literally tries to talk to GOD up close and personal to change her mind. he throws down his uniform, refuses the war, and goes AWOL back to earth determined to save it, even knowing that he's pretty much signing up to lose EVERYTHING that he's built on earth for himself, even thinking he possibly lost crowley already by pushing him away, like.

when satan is en route to the airbase, wouldn't you know, crowley is the one who says it's over we're fucked there's nothing we can do and aziraphale is the one who says no, we can't give up now after everything, and gives crowley the push he needs to buy them some time.

i'll never say he's a perfect uwu bean or that he always goes about things the right way but like, this weird thing (especially post s2) where people try to project some different character onto him just never goes over. he's not self-absorbed or callous or power-hungry or stupid or too naive or completely selfish. fundamentally.

also he wouldn't take angel crowley over modern crowley. he loves crowley in every capacity and every form and through every change and tbh like. he understands that those aren't actually two completely separate entities, and crowley is one person who's been through so much and had to change so much, and he loves all of him.

their relationship is not toxic or abusive. they understand each other in ways nobody else ever will. they push each other to be better and appreciate each other for everything that they are, that they have been, that they could be, and they continually choose to come back to each other no matter what fight they have or challenge they face.

every day i gotta get out here like you know you can just like the character crowley better... and relate to him more... without having to twist around to justify it as some moral superiority thing. like that's fine and normal, to just like a character better than a different character and focus on them more.

[bennibeedraws]

Yeah he changed the car to yellow because he thinks Crowley's eyes are pretty, but he literally has a duster with the same color and obviously for the same reason so yeah I need to know immediately how many things aziraphale has that are yellow

[twilightcitysky]

Everything Is Meant (long S2 analysis, part 2)

Part one here

Okay, so that's how I think the pre-creation scene and Gabriel's arc connect to Aziraphale's choice. I also think the ineffable bureaucracy speedrun exists to prove totally different things to Aziraphale and Crowley: Aziraphale loves that they can love each other but notes they have to run away to be together; Crowley sees this and immediately thinks "hey, we can do that too!", forgetting that running away is not a solution Aziraphale has ever been interested in. It's the mentality of an individualist vs a group-oriented mind, and neither of them is necessarily wrong, it's just that their priorities are different and they HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT, which they don't.

Continued analysis under the cut:

3. Let's take the Job minisode. Why include it? We already mentioned that it proves Aziraphale remembers Crowley as an angel, since he mentions it. And he believes Crowley is the same person he always was, and that he doesn't want to harm Job's crops or animals or children. Crowley tries to convince him he's a Big Bad Demon who is all in on this assignment, but fails utterly to kill even a single goat, soooo... Aziraphale comes to the conclusion that he knows what Crowley wants. Alert! Alert! This is a big problem! Crowley says, "What do you know about what I want?" Aziraphale: "I know you." Crowley: "You do not know me." But because Aziraphale got it right this time, he goes ahead assuming he'll always get it right, which is a crucial failure when it comes to the final reckoning. He doesn't ever ASK Crowley what he wants, he just assumes. When you assume you know what someone wants, you usually assume their priorities align with yours... he couldn't be more wrong about that. The Job minisode sets up this dynamic for them, and they never really manage to change it.

The other thing happens at the end of the minisode. Crowley acknowledges two crucial points: 1) he's lonely ("But you said it wasn't!" "I'm a demon. I lied"), 2) he doesn't think Aziraphale would like Hell. Aziraphale DOESN'T like Hell. Aziraphale hates Hell for what they've done to Crowley. He doesn't see Heaven as innocent or benign, but importantly, Heaven has never tried to hurt Crowley directly. They never threatened his safety. They never tortured him (as it's heavily implied that Hell did). Fast forward to the last ten mins of season 2: Aziraphale excited to tell Crowley that he can be an angel again BECAUSE: he never has to go back to Hell. They can never hurt him again, not the way they did before. And he doesn't have to be lonely anymore.

Last point before I leave Job: Crowley has the chance to cause Aziraphale to Fall, here, probably. ("I lied to Heaven to thwart the will of God!" "You did, but I'm not going to tell anybody. Are you? ...good, then nothing has to change.") He doesn't take it. He doesn't want Aziraphale to be a demon. He loves Aziraphale as he is. "Angel" as an affectionate. Aziraphale certainly doesn't use "demon" as a pet name for Crowley. I think they set up this scene to contrast the final one, and show how deeply hurt Crowley is that Aziraphale suggest he change.

4. Moving on to Victorian Scotland. This one confused me at first. I was delighted that they brought back the "the lower you start the more opportunity you have to rise" dialogue from the book, but apart from that I didn't really see the point of it. It seems like the statue of Gabriel and the fact that he and Beelz ended up at that pub in the present were more or less coincidental.

The point, I think, is actually not the girl, but the doctor. He's a person who is trying to do good by working in a system that's deeply flawed, and engaging in questionable moral practices for the greater good. (Cadaver dissection is still an essential part of medical school. You need dead bodies to understand living ones.) He shows Aziraphale a tumor he removed from a child who died, and Aziraphale clutches it to his chest. The camera zooms in and lingers to tell us that this is a guardian through and through. He wants to protect people. He wants to do good with every fiber of his being.

To Crowley, it's enough to just "be an us" with Aziraphale. He doesn't really want anything more than that. That's an issue! For one thing, it fosters unhealthy codependency, and for another, Aziraphale would never be happy without the opportunity to help and protect people. It's an essential part of who he is. Metatron knows that, and he plays Aziraphale like a fiddle. The doctor showed Aziraphale that you can make a difference even in systems that are flawed, and even if you have to do things you'd rather not do. Aziraphale doesn't want to go back to Heaven, but he truly thinks he can change things; thinks he can be a guardian with some real power. In his mind, that's the right thing to do.

Last thing that happens in Scotland: Crowley saves a soul from Hell, arguably, by preventing a suicide. He gets in Big Trouble. Whatever happened to him downstairs resulted in him coming back up, leaning on a cane, and asking Aziraphale to give him holy water. Go back and watch that scene knowing what we know now about the Victorian minisode. Ask yourself how Aziraphale must have felt. He likely blamed himself for what happened, because if he hadn't meddled then they never would have been there in the first place. He knew where Crowley was, and why he was there, and he had to sit with that knowledge for years. He desperately wants Crowley to be safe; is perfectly willing to push him away to keep him safe-- which is what he does do, the minute Crowley gets back.

Now think again about what Metatron offered him. A chance to keep Crowley safe forever. He'd never be harmed again. Aziraphale is going to take that offer, no matter what else is asked of him. He's shown over and over again that he'll sacrifice his own happiness to make sure nothing happens to Crowley. And he'll do it without talking to Crowley about it first, because he is a moron who doesn't know how to use his words. Leading Crowley to assume that Aziraphale doesn't love him. The idiot angel is doing it all out of love, but because he doesn't make himself clear Crowley doesn't know that.

Part 3: Maggie and Nina, and their roles as mirror couple/ Greek chorus!

[jojkees]

Okay i don’t typically do text posts bc I’m mainly an art person but I’m not gonna lie, the Good Omen fandom coffee theory is just a symptom of a lack of character analysis in regards to Aziraphale imo. In every flashback this season, and even going into the first season, Aziraphale makes it clear that he believes, while some angels are superficial and not truly benevolent, God and Heaven as a whole *is*. Crowley’s reasons for leaving Hell are that they became the worst parts of Heaven, but in Aziraphale’s mind, Crowley leaving Hell was completely logical and simply a product of his 6000 year long reformation, whereas both of them leaving Heaven was a temporary measure until a more established angel (like Metatron) can weed out the “bad apples” inhibiting from his mission, which he believes to be the same as God’s. He is the epitome of a well meaning friend that you only learn years later had been trying to steer your life “out of sin”.

Is Aziraphale a genuinely good and kind person? Yes. But, despite Crowley’s priority having grown to become Aziraphale and his “team”, Aziraphale’s priority has never swayed from the beginning. The woobification lenses were taken off and you’re left with the reality of his character: a flawed man who strives to do good but is so deep in his indoctrination that he cannot leave due to a sunk-cost fallacy. Aziraphale cannot admit he’s wrong because he’s spent his entire existence desperately clinging onto the belief that Crowley’s fall was simply a mistake, that Heaven comprises “the good guys”.

Metatron is suspicious, I agree, but Aziraphale’s character was not out of line with all of the information we were given.

[love-me-love-my-weirdness]

Something really interesting about the final fifteen is how perfectly it portrays Aziraphale and Crowley’s trauma responses.

At first, you might think that Aziraphale had the fawn response and Crowley had the fight response but the final fifteen shows something very different.

Aziraphale has the fight response and Crowley has the flight response.

In every situation, when it gets tough, Crowley’s instinct is to run. His instinct is to gather what he cares about and leave to keep himself and Aziraphale safe. Their safety is always the priority. He would sacrifice everything for his loved ones.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, is a fighter. He was named a Guardian and he lives up to his title. His instinct is always to stand his ground and fight for his beliefs. He protects his loved ones like an animal would protect their young. He stands up and chases the danger away.

That’s what makes their communication so utterly shit. They want to protect each other so badly but they have such different ways of going about it. Aziraphale sees Crowley’s trauma response as giving up and Crowley sees Aziraphale’s trauma response as blind hope.

Their trauma responses make so much sense for what they’ve been through individually but they can’t understand the other’s approach.

Crowley is seeing how bad things can get and going “I’m not sticking around for it to get worse” and Aziraphale is seeing it and going “I’m not standing by and letting it get worse”.

There are flaws in both of their thinking and you can’t look at the final fifteen at a surface level because there are so many layers and complicating factors to both of their actions.

That’s what makes Neil Gaiman such a good writer and Aziraphale and Crowley such good 3D characters.

[very-normal-abt-this]

I want talk about how much love was nonverbally expressed *after* their last conversation in S2 Finale. Yes, you heard right. AFTER.

Sure, they ended the conversation completely pissed at each other. Broken hearted. But, like in any solid relationship, they don't hold grudges. Only a few short moments later, all the anger is gone from Aziraphale's face, and the only emotions left are: love, longing, fear, regret. He can barely pay attention to Metatron, because he keeps looking out the window at Crowley. I think I counted 7 times of him turning his head to look. And of course, he is close to changing his mind several times. (BTW, I would *kill* to know what thoughts were going through his mind right before he committed to leaving, right before he said "nothing at all" with that fake smile)

And Crowley. Most humans, when they feel they've been rejected and/or abandoned - they slam the door and they leave in a huff! They don't look back, they get in their car, and drive away as fast they can, possibly with a middle finger pointed in the direction of the offending party. (Unless they're the type of person who would stand by the door, cry and beg them to stay, but obviously that behavior could never be exhibited by Crowley).

But Crowley does not leave. He does not even try to hide in his car. He stands there, intentionally on display, waiting and watching. Why? Because either A) He is not viewing this as a rejection and abandonment, but as a [huge] difference of opinion, so he is not reacting like someone who has just been rejected. Or B) he IS viewing it as rejection, but he loves Aziraphale so much that his main priority is still to make sure that the Angel is safe, regardless of their current relationship status. His love for Aziraphale is literally unconditional. Crowley wants to watch him walk into that elevator with his own eyes, and make sure that he's not doing so under duress. Or there is option C) He is standing there defiantly, to communicate his disapproval and disbelief at what Aziraphale is doing, like "I can't believe you're actually doing this, I have to see this shit with my own eyes to believe it." Or option D) He is hoping to influence Aziraphale to change his mind, because he knows that its incredibly hard for Aziraphale to leave him. Standing there to send a message of "I'm still here. Are you really sure you are okay with being separated?" Or maybe even E) A small part of him wondered if he (Crowley) might change his own mind about going, once he saw Aziraphale actually walking toward the elevator, once he saw that it's actually happening.

I don't think it's option C because of Crowley's facial expression and body language after Aziraphale gets in the elevator. I don't see any anger, frustration, disgust, or judgment there. All I see is...utter despondency, numbness, melancholy, hopelessness. So, I'm thinking its a combination of reasons A, B, and D. Maybe a little E.

And, I wondered the same about Aziraphale. As he is walking to the elevator, he is not acting as someone who is angry at their significant other. I imagine that a lot of people who feel angry after a fight, and feel their partner is completely in the wrong - they would walk into that elevator without looking back at the offending party. They might put on the happiest face and try to hide all traces of negative emotions, just to "stick it to them." But Aziraphale does look back at Crowley. And, this last nonverbal communication with his partner is also very intentional; he wants Crowley to know that he is looking at him on purpose (just as Crowley's behavior of standing by the Bentley and watching him leave is very intentional). Aziraphale stops and makes eye contact with Crowley, right before he walks into the elevator. Just as Crowley, he is trying to send a message with that pause and look. What message? A) "I can't believe you're not coming with me, I'm hurt and disappointed in you." B) "I want you to know that it's very hard for me to do this, I'm torn about it, and I'm thinking about you." C) "I just found out very bad news and you're in danger." Or option D) "I just found out very bad news and I'm definitely going to need your help. I'll be back."

My opinion is that its a combo of B, C, and D. I do not think its A, based on Aziraphale's behavior and emotions right after Crowley walked out.

So, to summarize the point I am making - despite their deficits in communicating with words, Aziraphale and Crowley continue communicating their feelings nonverbally. They remain committed to each other, even in the face of the biggest rift they've ever experienced in their relationship. Their behavior shows that their first priority in the relationship is not "to be right" or "to win the argument." Their priorities are - taking care of each other. Letting each other know that, "no matter what happens, I am here, and I'm thinking about you."

Thanks for reading! please leave a comment.

[nightgoodomens]

I love all the times Crowley shows his boundaries. “Enough, I’m leaving.” “You’re on your own with this one.” “Don’t bother.” etc. He knows exactly when Aziraphale crosses the line. Which shows how well Crowley knows himself. It shows his confidence and knowledge in who he is. It’s one of the many ways he shows it but an important one. He has his boundaries and he doesn’t like them crossed.

Crowley loves Aziraphale so of course if Aziraphale is in danger he will come back because Aziraphale’s safety is more important to him than their fights and not agreeing on something, even when Aziraphale can be hurtful. Crowley can be pissed off but he will prioritise Aziraphale’s safety like a good partner would. He can even apologise when Aziraphale should be the one apologising instead just because it’s more important for Crowley to ensure Aziraphale is safe. Priorities.

He’s very mature and self realised.

I think that Aziraphale did not realise this, he did not understand it the way Crowley did and so he never learned - hence the ending when he pushes him so far that Crowley snaps. It is too much this time. Crowley will do a lot to keep Aziraphale safe but he will not follow him that far, not where he would lose himself. Self respect.

So now it is time for Aziraphale to learn who he is, what his priorities are, and what matters. And understand Crowley, too. Most of all, stop assuming that he’s always right and that Crowley was wrong when Crowley was simply prioritising.

Like Neil and David said in that interview, Crowley is smart, he gets it, now it’s time for Aziraphale to learn.

And what better way to learn than going to Heaven on his own without the love of his life to lean on and save the day.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Meet the characters appeared at the Prime page! :) Maggie's shop... 👀

AZIRAPHALE

Aziraphale is an angel who loves his life on earth. He is intelligent, enthusiastic and sometimes a little bewildered. He feels like heaven could do with a great deal of improvement, but he loves God and the ideals of heaven and will do everything in his power to do good.

CROWLEY

Crowley is a demon who plays by his own rules. Honourable, unsatisfied and idealistic, he has always dreamt of a better world but is pragmatic about the one that exists. Even when he was working with hell, he wasn’t quite the wholehearted demon others imagined him to be.

GABRIEL

Gabriel is an archangel but isn’t very angelic at all. Gabriel is fundamentally appalling. He can be self-obsessed, narcissistic and frankly, everyone’s worst boss. The smooth running of heaven is Gabriel’s greatest priority. Whether he’s succeeding or not is another story.

MAGGIE

Maggie owns the Small Back Room record shop next to Aziraphale’s bookshop. Even though the shop is struggling, she still loves running it. Maggie is hopeful, a dreamer who always follows her heart. She’s the type of person you’d want by your side when push comes to shove.

NINA

Nina is the owner of Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death, the coffee shop across the road from Aziraphale’s bookshop. A hypercompetent realist, Nina is great at what she does and cares about her customers, though her current relationship takes up 98 percent of her attention.

SHAX

Shax is an ambitious demon who is taking over Crowley’s role on earth. She has spent around half an eternity working for a better job in hell, and her time has finally come. Shax lives for her work and aims to climb the ladder of power (which feels like hell).

BEELZEBUB

Beelzebub is a desperate, harassed boss who is trying to run the day-to-day madness of hell. This fly-emitting Prince of Hell is dealing with staff shortages and a lack of resources because, let’s face it, there is a lot more “dead person processing” in hell than in heaven.

MURIEL

Muriel is a low-level recording angel. They're innocent, enthusiastic and unworldly. Muriel doesn’t have a lot of experience with earth and is still learning the ropes. When they get to experience anything that’s not their day-to-day in heaven, they're delighted.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt VI good omens s1e2, a totally all-inclusive summary i remember everything

i don't, that's a lie. i lie like aziraphale, rarely and badly but with great gaslight energy.

alright well let's not dawdle for 6000 years, i'll forget what i DO remember.

An angel named Gabriel who is not Jimbriel yet, so a foetus Jimbriel, gets into Aziraphale's bookstore and yells about pornography to keep humans from following him into Aziraphale's secret back chamber.

What they do there, I do not know. It is up to speculation. They talk and Aziraphale is flustered about Crowley, I think, but that's the whole show so far.

The intro sequence remains strange. Cartoon Aziraphale is an impregnated chicken, cartoon Crowley is the baby daddy.

There are witch hunters and they want to burn Agnes Nutter alive. I don't know who Anges Nutter is yet.

We cut to Agnes Nutter and I know I will never forget her. She is beautiful and a BAMF. A MILF. An absolute bombshell.

The bombshell part is literal. They set her on fire and she explodes, killing all those in a 100 metre radius. I want to be her.

I assume it is a witch thing, but then find out she put bombs under her skirts. I want to be her, but more ardently.

There is a book. She writes prophecies in it.

There are horsemen of the apocalypse, which I forgot was still happening. We are in present day.

War kills everyone. She is pretty. She is not Warlock, the kid whom Aziraphale and Crowley raised.

Famine is a sexy beast, and runs Michelin star restaurants. He likes tiny food. He is developing foodless food.

If there are others, I do not notice. There could be. There really could be. There probably are.

There is a girl who scribbles on the book from earlier. She grows up. I think she is War. I am wrong. This is probably a good time to mention to Tumblr that I have mild issues with facial recognition, which is totally not going to affect my understanding of what is happening at all.

She is named Anathema. That could be someone else. What is real? Not Neil Gaiman.

She finds the Antichrist and the Them, and they are all playing at a witch hunt. The Antichrist does not have an aura. Yellow is fear. Yellow is joy. I lose track of what is happening for several scenes.

Newt is works in an office. There is a power cut. Newt no longer works at an office.

Newt joins a witch hunt.

There is a delivery man. I think he is Newt. I am wrong. His name is something resembling Judy. It is an easy mistake, everyone's reaction to not-Newt-maybe-Judy is the same as that to Newt, deep protective love.

Crowley and Aziraphale steal a Bentley. Find a Bentley? I am unsure. I am too busy looking at Crowley.

Crowley speeds. Crowley likes speeding. They hit a motorbike that has maybe-Anathema. They pick her up and take her to a house somewhere. The Bentley plays Queen music. Everyone is very excited about this. Beepop.

Maybe-Anathema enters the house. This could have been before she finds the Antichrist. But if the show isn't linear I don't have to be either, I decide.

Crowley and Aziraphale panic a lot, but find time to eye each other hungrily and lovingly. They have priorities, and I respect that.

Crowley yells at his plants to grow better. He pretends to kill one of them. I cannot believe I was entirely right about my interpretation of that GIF. I am filled with confused anger. Later I find out that he is projecting how heaven told him he was a disappointment and threw him out. I am no longer angry. I am sad. This is an ongoing thing when it comes to Crowley.

A major plot point is Dog, the best friend of the Antichrist, having a face off with a fat tabby cat. Dog loses. It was doomed from the start.

Aziraphale gaslights gatekeeps and girlbosses. He assures heaven that everything is under control. It is not. That is okay. I think.

Heaven asks about Crowley. Aziraphale gets flustered. This is as per usual and he assures them that he is battling Crowley, who keeps him on his toes. I not-so-privately think that Crowley keeps him on his knees, really.

Things happen. I'm too busy thinking about Aziraphale's puppy eyes. He is a bitchy sweetheart. I love him.

More things happen. I'm too busy thinking about Crowley's sexy hips and shoulders and, well, everything.

The episode ends. I am still thinking about Crowley. I am always thinking about Crowley. Everyone is always thinking about Crowley.

This... this is all I remember. Have it, Tumblr.

[allonzy]

there's just so much to dissect with "the precious peaceful fragile existence i carved out for myself" "i thought we carved out for ourselves" "SO DID I!"

crowley has always felt so alone since the start of time because remember how he wasn't even close with the other fallen angels; he just happened to be around them at the time. he really tried, failed at some things, and succeeded at others to finally make a place and identity for himself in this world.

and sure, then he also suggested to aziraphale that they should team up and have each other's backs. unfortunately, crowley is just so not used to love that even now, he cannot let his friend know he is living out of his car, and ask for help. he cannot fathom that his angel could love him unconditionally, and he still believes he is alone at the end of it all.

then we have aziraphale, who realised during armageddon that crowley would always be there for him. he will always be crowley's number one priority. he always thought it would be them against the universe and the higher powers. so to hear that crowley is only thinking about himself would have stung.

and crowley's final blow once again calling back to their season 1 fight about how there's no heaven or hell, no right or wrong, there's just them. for 6000 years, it's just been aziraphale and crowley, together, helping each other when needed the most. and if aziraphale cannot protect himself from gabriel then what does it matter if crowley defends him or not.

maybe i am going crazy and this wasn't that deep but isn't that the beauty of tumblr?

[tallerthantale]

My spicy ineffable husbands take

You've heard consent isn't just for sex. Now get ready for the corollary you didn't know you needed, consensual non - consent isn't just for sex. It's going to take some foundation to get to the point, but trust me, it's worth it.

Disclaimer: this is all my personal interpretation, you are always welcome to see things differently.

I think Crowley and Aziraphale have both known that they are on a path to become each other's world since Job, but in a way that to them feels more profound than can ever be human analogued.

I think Aziraphale has known for some time that he wants their relationship to progress in a human, (physical, courtship, ect...) way, but is approach avoidant. The approach avoidance takes the form of trying to bait Crowley into making a move, like the faces he makes to get Crowley to make Hamlet a success, or the pouting he does to get Crowley to remove the paintball paint, but then bailing when Crowley makes an offer that gets serious. "You go to fast for me", not letting Crowley come over for the lockdown. But the "you go too fast for me" isn't a no, it's a 'convince me.'

Crowley's goal with pulling Aziraphale into shades of grey depends on letting Aziraphale make his own choices at every incremental step. All he is ever able to do is make an offer, and then Aziraphale decides if he is ready for it. It worked for the food, it probably eventually worked for the wine sometime off screen. It eventually turns into their agreement, which continues to exist in the form of: Crowley makes a proposition, Aziraphale makes a decision. We see Crowley be VERY hands off about the offers and answers. He almost never initiates physical contact with Aziraphale, and barely responds when Aziraphale does touch him, despite the actions clearly grabbing his attention. This lets Aziraphale have full control over how far he is willing to stray from heaven at any particular moment. In the church scene, Crowley notices the holy water, but doesn't push about it. Aziraphale was a no on that, and Crowley respects the no, and comes to his rescue and goes on the full date night magic show adventure accepting that no without complaint. And Crowley LOVES complaining.

If this dynamic is adhered to, Aziraphale won't make an actual first move physically, because he wants Crowley to do it, in the same way he might insist that Crowley do 'the dirty work.' He wants Crowley to be the proximate cause, because that is how Aziraphale assigns responsibilities to actions. S1E1 modern Aziraphale is still doing the whole "I've never actually killed anything before... I don't think I could... : (" bit after sending the French executioner to his death without qualms, and S1E6 Aziraphale is still fussing over trying to make sure it's Crowley that gets them into the airbase, because 'I'm the nice one, you can't expect me to do the dirty work.' He really does put far too much weight on who is doing the immediate action in that moment in isolation, and not nearly enough ethical weight on who contrived the scenario that caused the chain of events.

Crowley equally will not make a first move physically by their old rules, because of the priority he places on letting Aziraphale have full control of every millimeter of his indulgences. The proposition / decision framework that Crowley is adhering to is a system of platonic structured consent, and I don't think there is any reason to believe he would treat non platonic consent differently. I imagine that in an alternate universe where Azriaphale owns his desires and makes a physical first move, but there is a similar lack of communication, Crowley would starfish in the absence of an explicit instruction to do otherwise for fear of going somewhere Aziraphale doesn't want to go. In my view, Crowley's default really is to be that absolutist when it comes to Aziraphale's consent.

The irony of it is that he really doesn't need to be. Aziraphale's skittishness is an act. Aside from the kiss, the one other instance of Crowley initiating a substantial physical thing is the wall slam. As others have observed, Aziraphale is not even slightly fazed by it. If anything, he is fazed by Crowley letting him go. Right after he objects to Crowley hypnotizing the nun, "you didn't have to do that, you could have just asked her." But slamming him into a wall? No objection. (Do that again, right now.)

Personally I think Aziraphale's continuous bailing and 'you go too fast for me' had left Crowley with the impression that Aziraphale was not physically interested, at least not seriously, not yet. I think the Nina revelation was a 'oh shit, he actually wants that now.' That gave him the motivation to first attempt an offer, and then when that got derailed, for the first time, he didn't let Aziraphale have full control. From how I read Crowley's behaviour up to that point, the confession kiss was a very dramatic reversal that speaks to an almost unhinged emotional state.

That said, outside of the part where they were in the middle of a fight, being swept off his feet like that really is what Aziraphale wanted Crowley to do, and crucially, he didn't want to have to tell Crowley to do it. I think by season 2 Aziraphale is owning his desire for the trappings of a human romance, but when it comes to the more physical things, I could imagine Aziraphale most of the way through season 2's modern era still 100% endorsing the idea that he isn't being lustful if he's just letting Crowley have his way.

Problem is, Crowley's version of 'having his way' is transparently doing whatever Aziraphale wants him to do, specifically because Aziraphale wants him to do it and for no other reason.

And now for the spicy bit.

The impasse Aziraphale and Crowley have here is very similar to an impasse that's known to show up in CNC kink space. (That stands for Consensual Non - Consent.) This comparison is useful for understanding what's happening with them even if you headcannon them as sexless ace, or vanilla (or, you know... vanilla for now...) because so much of their interactions revolve around platonic consent games. So the argument I am presenting here is not that they would strike up sexual CNC roleplays, but rather to say that the way they have been interacting this whole time functionally is a platonic version of a poorly negotiated CNC dynamic already.

The source of the dynamic goes back to Aziraphale's fixation on proximate cause. He can set up whole elaborate escapades and have no shame response for the consequences as long as the very last action in the chain of events wasn't performed by him, and he has the thinnest veil of plausible deniability about what he was trying to accomplish. He wants the romantic gestures, but he doesn't want to be responsible for either wanting it, or it happening. This is a real life thing that often happens with people who have repressed desires. CNC world has a fair number of people who grew into it from letting themselves have fantasies that initially purported to be fears that someone will force themselves on them. It's a buffer that lets them believe they aren't having sex fantasies. Separately, a lot of trans women, while eggs, get really into forced feminization, because it creates a fantasy reality where they can explore gender with a pretense that it is being forced on them, which takes some of the shame out. (Which is not to suggest that they ought to feel shame, just that there is an unfortunate reality that many do.)

In the same way, Aziraphale wants the human romantic things, but wants to construct a fantasy where they are being forced on him by the wiley demon adversary. Aziraphale wants Crowley to tempt him. In Rome he almost instructs Crowley tempt him. He will construct elaborate damsel in distress rescues to avoid having to ask Crowley out to dinner. He will nonsensically complain about how he'll always know the stain had been there if he miracles away the paintball paint [himself], rather than ask Crowley to do it. Over and over again, Aziraphale wants Crowley to do romantic things, but his moral outlook forbids him from communicating textually that he wants them. If Crowley spontaneously does the things because Crowley intrinsically wants to do them, Aziraphale won't hold himself morally accountable for them happening, no matter how much he is hinting and insinuating. There are still hints of this in S2E5, with how Aziraphale describes Crowley, “rescuing me makes him so happy.” It’s true, but not in a vacuum the way Aziraphale implies. Crowley likes rescuing Aziraphale because Aziraphale likes to be rescued, and Aziraphale likes to pretend his desires aren’t part of that equation. Aziraphale wants to be romanced 'against his will.' Even in a fully non-sexual asexual interpretation of their relationship, this is still a CNC kink dynamic.

So, back to the real world CNC impasse, that usually is about sex, but can also be an analogy. In CNC community, there is a phenomenon where a certain kind of CNC bottom, often from a very repressed and / or religious background, is only willing to express their interest in the form of wanting a CNC top to 'do whatever they like,' with instructions along the lines of 'use me however you want.' But for a CNC top, this is a very unclear instruction. Taking pleasure from someone's body however feels good doesn't automatically entail a lot of the surrounding kink genre activities people often imagine as part of a CNC fantasy, so literally following those instructions leads to a disappointed and bored bottom.

The fantasy from the bottoms perspective is often that the top is so overcome with lust that they do all the kinky things to force their way to the conventional things. But those things aren't actually necessary though? Chucking people around, roughing them up, various implements, ect... it's a lot of work, and it's fun for how people react to it, but people usually aren't literally getting off on the labour intensive extras. It's fun, but it's honestly a more ordinary fun than people outside of that world might expect.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine one once where she said, and I quote, "I'm not a sadist, I just find it fun to hurt people." (And she found it more fun when they were attractive people.) The mental gymnastics of me trying to explain to her "that's literally what sadism is" were wild, and I have refused to let her live it down. It's also worth pointing out that amongst the top tier of serious professional kink riggers, it's pretty common for them to operate on implements / tools / toys only, and a few of the most accomplished have been widely speculated to be ace. House of Gord is the most obvious example, but I honestly get a similar vibe from The Pope. (Obviously not the one at the Vatican) (Google them at your own risk)

But back to the point, CNC bottom fantasies tend to be a universe where they get to imagine the CNC top's kinky behaviours are more driven by the direct pursuit of pleasure than they actually are, and that the top's actions are the organic result of the top's lust, that exist independently of the bottoms proclivities (which don't exist). CNC tops meanwhile (at least the ethical ones) have a particularly strong need for the rules and boundaries and wants to be really clearly and explicitly laid out, and while they might have some specific things they find intrinsically fun, they are most driven by doing what's going to work for the bottom they are working with at the time. The scenes run on the pretense that the top is a raging lust monster, masking the reality that they are delivering a tailor made performance scripted to the bottoms needs and are enjoying it more for the reactions the actions produce than the actions themselves.

To put the pressures and pretenses of the situation concisely, it is pretty common for CNC scenes to be a hypersexual bottom maintaining a performance of not having physical desires and a comparatively if not entirely ace top maintaining a pretense of being overcome by physical desires.

There are a lot of CNC bottoms who do an excellent job navigating communicating what they want, and can drop the role to present a fully thought out list of things that are ok, things that are not ok, this is how you know if somethings going wrong, here are the things that are ok specifically in this context but not in this other context, ect…, there are whole spreadsheets you can set up. It gets talked through and worked out ahead of time, and then later the act goes up.

On the other hand, there are many CNC bottoms who don't handle this well at all, because going through that process breaks the immersion of the fantasy. And if they are coming at things from the repressive background / religious trauma angle, it breaks their ability to deflect their shame about having sinful thoughts if they have to explicitly state what they want. For them, the selling point of CNC is that they get to actually believe they don't want what they want and they aren't responsible for it happening. It's not just about temporarily being that overpowered character for that time, the veil is, at least in part, permanent.

This creates kink negotiations that can end up looking like:

"What do you want me to do to you?"

"I want you to do whatever you want to me."

"Ok, but what do you want me to want to do to you?"

It can be like pulling teeth.

Even if we imagine a Good Omens universe where they don't get up to any actual kinky things, or even sexual things, Aziraphale's behaviour looks a lot like a shy CNC bottom to me. They want the top to "do whatever they want" but even if they don't admit it to themselves, they have some strong ideas about what that would entail, it's going to include some amount of a performance / custom ordered service, and they are going to need to communicate what they want that to be. And Crowley is all about delivering a performance and custom ordered acts of service, but he needs ironclad permission and clear instructions.

Crowley looks to me like a shy CNC top, who wants to be absolutely certain they aren't colouring outside the lines, (as you should be) but is presented with a prospective partner who won't drop the game long enough to communicate what he wants. Crowley will do the favors he knows for sure Aziraphale wants, and live for Aziraphale's reactions. He enjoys coming to the rescue and performing acts of service because it is a service Aziraphale wants, not because there is an intrinsic pleasure to showing up in the Bastille or walking over consecrated ground. A universe where Aziraphale doesn't want Crowley to miracle the paint off his coat is a universe in which Crowley doesn't want to do that either, he isn't going to proactively perform miracles on Aziraphale's clothes on a whim.

I similarly expect that Crowley is 100% enthusiastically down to perform any romantic or sexual act of service Aziraphale desires, specifically because Aziraphale desires it, and probably has little to no intrinsic motivation towards the physical sides of things. I think he's down to put on the character of an intrinsically motivated person, but he needs clear instructions. Consider Crowley in the audience of the 40's magic show, Aziraphale asks if anyone in the audience has experience with firearms, and everyone BUT Crowley raises their hand. He didn't have experience with firearms, so he didn't raise his hand.

Crowley can break out of literalism in a familiar situation, and we do see him take a lot of Aziraphale's hints. A big part of why I keep going back to the paintball scene is because we can observe Crowley shift from 'instructions unclear, hands off' to 'oh, he wants me to do a thing' to [dramatic romantic gesture] to [absolutely loving Aziraphale's reaction]. Just as there is no practical reason for Crowley to do the miracle rather than Aziraphale, there is no practical reason for Crowley to have to blow the paint away with a breath, he could have just finger snapped it like he usually does. But once it's clear to him that Aziraphale wants it to be a thing, Crowley goes full ham into it.

For some things they have enough established short hand to communicate through what they infer they are implying to each other. For physically romantic things though, Crowley hadn't been reading the subtext, and he had been defaulting to hands off mode. So they were stuck at an impasse, until Nina makes the subtext textual and Crowley YOLOs into the kiss. And now they are probably back to the impasse again until they can have an actual explicit, face value conversation, because even though I don't think Aziraphale meant it that way, or experienced the kiss that way, his last "I forgive you" can read to Crowley as an indication that there was a consent violation.

There is a lot of potential compatibility that is squandered by their lack of communication. They really need to sit down for a proper kink negotiation, even if it doesn't involve actual kink yet I think the format would do wonders for them.

[aziraphales-library]

Heya ! I'm looking for some fics that are set post season 2. Not fixits exactly, not that I would mind fixits. But I'm looking for long canon compliant fics. Also, is there a tag for such fics ?

We have #good omens s2 and #canon compliant tags. On ao3 you'll want to use the tags "Post-Season/Series 02" and "Canon Compliant", which is what I did to find you these...

scherzo in f-sharp minor, for orchestra by astrhae (M)

It was a truth universally acknowledged that an angel in possession of no memory must be in want of a wife. No, that was the wrong book. The wrong line. Aziraphale frowned. “What,” the gentleman before him asked, “and I mean what, are you doing here?” ----------------- Or, two years after things fall apart, Aziraphale shows up at Crowley's doorstep without his memories. The easy part is getting it back, the hard part is getting them back together.

Until the Bitter End by sentientsky (T)

After learning the truth about Heaven's plans and fruitlessly trying to fix a corrupt system (and maybe also having his memory messed with a little bit in the process), Aziraphale slips back to Earth in search of Crowley.

i will make it better, if only for us by davethefish (T)

With Aziraphale in Heaven, everything that Crowley loved has left the earth. He doesn't know what to do, so he starts small. Maybe someday he'll love the earth as much as he loved Aziraphale. It's time for him to remember why he chose to stay in the first place.

Black Holes and Revelations by ArtisticRising (E)

Crowley takes a leap of faith… into the heart of a black hole. It’s the last card Crowley has to play. He can’t do this without Aziraphale… and he’s betting that Aziraphale can’t do this without him. Act I (Black Holes) ends around Chapter 6 (10 if you want the smut babes). You could leave the story off there. Up til chapter 6 you have a whole story that’s pretty much G rated. From there my thirst comes out like a sexy little demon in tight jeans and a vaguely downwards saunter. Act II (Revelations) is an attempt at season 3. Treat it as a separate work that builds off Act I. Lots of plot twists ahead/theories/speculations that I won’t spoil for you :)

The Ineffability of Gray by kitfornow (NR)

Fifteen years have passed since Aziraphale returned to Heaven, and still sometimes Crowley feels shell shocked and embarrassed and grief-stricken. And mostly, he still feels numb. Fifteen years isn’t really so long, in the grand scheme of things, and yet these have somehow been the longest years of his existence. He can almost feel time crawling by, laughing at him. But slowly, so slowly, Crowley began to try again. To try harder. To find a piece of himself that Aziraphale had not touched. To find a piece of himself that does not need changing. On his good days, he can open up. His friends come over to the flat, once in a while, and Maggie brings new records and Muriel brings burnt cookies that no-one complains about because they're so proud of them. They'll exchange stories and simply enjoy each other's company for a few hours. And sometimes, he feels almost alright. Until Crowley turns around and Aziraphale is there, standing in front of him, trying to stop the world from ending all over again.

hurry back, please bring it back home to me by Percyjacksonfan3 (T)

“Why should I?” The demon interrupts cuttingly. “You’ve made it perfectly clear where your priorities lie and anything I say won’t make a bit of difference.” “That’s not true at all.” Aziraphale replies after a long hurt moment. “And you know it. Besides, you’re being stubborn. You’ll help me eventually.” Rage flashes over Crowley’s face. “You think so, do you?” Aziraphale juts his chin up stubbornly, ignoring the unpleasant feelings Crowley’s expression stirs in him. “Yes.” Aziraphale needs Crowley's help in saving humanity from the Second Coming and despite what happened between them he's determined to get it. After all, it's not only that he needs Crowley, but his plan also includes their car. As for the other matters between the two of them... well there's no reason those can't be sorted out along the way as well, is there? Or, a possible take on Series 3 that includes the Bentley, a resurrected Jesus Christ set on bringing about the End of Days, and an angel and a demon who are stupidly in love with each other but are both suffering from a lack of experience on how to actually deal with said emotions. Emphasis on the stupidly.

- Mod D

[foolishlovers]

I saw your offer to give fic recommendations! Do you have any fluff favorites (especially south downs cottage related ones)?

hii yes i love to give fic recs 🥰

[you can request more fic recs here.]

here are some fluffy south downs good omens fics:

Routine by Burrahobbit (G, 700) In their South Downs cottage, Crowley and Aziraphale quickly fall into a routine, as they are wont to do. This particular morning, however, is different.

Taking Some Pictures or Something by his_infinitevariety (G, 2k) On a road trip to the South Downs Crowley gives Aziraphale his phone to take photos of the views. However, Aziraphale doesn't know how the phone works and spends all day accidentally posting to Crowley's Instagram story.

Parsley, Thyme, Sage, Daffodils by MostWeakHamlets (G, 3k) Aziraphale has a cooking show on the internet. It started out with three viewers, but now he's known as the happy grandfather that blew up overnight. Crowley occasionally makes cameos, has dedicated his garden to giving Aziraphale fresh herbs and vegetables, and struggles with living after the apocalypse. _ “Taste this, my dear,” Aziraphale said. He held a spoonful of jam to Crowley’s lips with his free hand cautiously under it, ready to catch any dripping. Crowley leaned forward to wrap his lips around the spoon. Most likely his shyness came from the small tender moments Aziraphale was not afraid of showing the world. It had been the topic of many long conversations after Aziraphale took Crowley’s hand in St. James Park, causing Crowley to freeze and break out in a cold sweat. Being discreet had always been their top priority. For 6,000 years, someone would have surely seen them if they embraced in the middle of London. But now, Aziraphale had assured Crowley, things were different. They no longer needed to hide, but Aziraphale would go as slow as Crowley needed him to. It was almost funny how their roles had switched after the apocalypse.

a city wall and a trampoline by kafkian (T, 4k) In their cottage in the South Downs, when Crowley eventually succeeds in getting Aziraphale to use a laptop, it takes Aziraphale literal hours to get past the default Windows screensavers of picturesque locations because 'oh, look, isn't it lovely, Crowley!' - 5 times Crowley knows he’s in love with Aziraphale + 1 time he knows the reverse.

Love Like Fools by animeangelriku (T, 4k)

One minute, Aziraphale is cataloguing some of his first editions, and the next one, he’s leaning against the bookshelf with one hand because he feels like the breath he doesn’t necessarily need (but is nonetheless used to taking) has just been knocked out of him.

He does not need to hold back his feelings for Crowley anymore. He does not need to hide his feelings for Crowley anymore. They’re on their own side now. Show Me The Sugar by WaitingToBeBroken (T, 4k) When the new "couple" moves in the cottage down the road, it's apparent to everyone what their Arrangement is. Rachel, the owner of the pet shop they had just visited, is not so sure anymore. Who was supposed to be the sugar father again?

Show me where the Nightingale sings by Sabotaged_Words (G, 6k) After settling into their new home in the South Downs there are still things to process for Aziraphale and Crowley before they can start a new chapter of their life. But winter is turning into spring. There is magic abroad in the air. And finally, the nightingale is back. some other fluff favourites:

Eden Nails by AppleSeeds (T, 8k) After learning that his incredibly attractive mysterious new neighbour Crowley runs a nail salon, Aziraphale goes there for a manicure and is thrilled when Crowley offers to do it for him personally.

A sweet world by NohaIjiachi (G, 11k) “Good morning!” the man chirped, with a smile that could light up an entire room. “It is such a beautiful day, today, isn’t it?” Crowley managed to hold back the pained groan he could feel rising from the depths of his throat. Small talk and joyfulness. It was too early for this. Morning people were insufferable. “D’you make coffee?” he asked instead, or maybe grunted. The man hummed. “I certainly can,” he commented lightly, turning around and opening an aquamarine painted cupboard.

a picnic plan for you and me by Anonymous (G, 20k) “It’s angel food cake,” he said. He waited. When Aziraphale did nothing but nod politely: “It’s funny, see, ‘cause-” “No, no, I get it.” Aziraphale nodded again. “Very funny.” “Oh, shut up, it is-” “May I ask what brought this on?” Crowley paused. “Can’t a guy just want to try baking?” (Or, Crowley makes Aziraphale food after the world doesn't end. It has absolutely nothing to do with how much he wants to make Aziraphale smile.) [you can find more fic rec masterposts here.]

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: creature of mine

"Dunno why, but s'not working this time. M'not resssponding to it." Crowley's eyes flickered with something entirely unreadable. "I need a warm body." "I see." "Can't even use my fingers properly with these bloody claws. Still, feels better to have something warm, something moving." Aziraphale attempted to make sense of Crowley's words, his head pounding viciously. A warm body. "Would you like me to... hold you again?" Crowley smiled, open-mouthed and beastly. His fangs glistened in the darkness. "Need you to fuck me, angel." Or: Aziraphale buys Crowley a snake plant, hoping to please Crowley with the appealing smell of its flowers. Its effects on Crowley are far more extreme than Aziraphale anticipated, and it’s down to him to face them head-on.

Length: 21,253 Words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: After Dark, Canon AU

Triggers: None

Read it here, fic by ineffabildaddy, omens_for_ophelia

*Minor Spoilers* Buckle in, it's long post time. I admit to bias in the length of this post because I love this author, but above all, my enjoyment of this story is so genuine and I am so proud to recommend that you all read it too. This was written for the sex pollen event that has been going on recently (so many more for me to read!) and it's one I knew was coming but didn't know too many details about. So when I woke up to the email that it was posted, I knew I was going to have such a good morning, and oooh boy did I.

Caught outside in the rain, Aziraphale steps briefly into an exotic plant shop to stay dry. When he spots a beautiful flowering snake plant, well, he's free from Heaven now and free to buy his friend a gift. And what a gift it will be when they realize that the plant's pollen contains the exact pheromones that trigger Crowley's snake desires. Even though I knew exactly where this was going, the actual journey was so intoxicating. When the effects first take hold, neither of them knows exactly what to do. Both are locked into shame and embarrassment over the situation, but the trust and protection they have for each other is sturdy. Crowley struggles with losing control and the pain of vulnerability, while Aziraphale tries desperately to deny his own wants and desires. He represses it all to protect Crowley. And isn't this just the most beautiful metaphor for their entire relationship? As always, they get there in the end. It's as heartwarming as it is sensual. I will never tire of them completely surrendering to each other.

The thing I always love most about this narrative style is how it blends poetry and smut. It will paint with gorgeous prose and then snap our attention back with its explicit language. It's thrilling to me and a shining example of how rich smut stories can be. I'm awed and horny! And I have to say, this was such a clever and interesting take on Crowley's snake body! Naga/Monster fuckers, this one needs to be made a priority for you. It was described in excellent detail but also depicted gorgeously by the included art! I've still got goosebumps over the third piece of included art! The color palette! The bodies!! The emotion! I'm in love. Both author and artist have a talent for making me feel so at home in my own body with their works. I just trust them implicitly, and they make it so easy to imagine how everything would feel to my own skin.

This is an at-home, after-dark read. It will have you sweating and squirming, but also in awe of their closeness and the trust they have in each other. How endless their devotion is. How beautiful this story is. But let's be real, I'm also thinking about how fun their next round with this plant could be now that they're on the same page. Next time, with the walls completely down, they are going to have the most pleasurable night of their life for the rest of their lives.

Read it here, fic by ineffabildaddy, omens_for_ophelia

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

There is genuinely so much amazing OFMD fanfic that it's expanded the limits of the kinds of fic I'll read because there's so much creativity and willingness to play with the characters. I will put up with a lot of things in OFMD AUs before I reach the "he would not fucking say that" point, which I used to be really choosy about with other fandoms. True that one of my pet peeves with how Stede gets written a lot is when authors use the generic posh British-esque Aziraphale-lite voice, but I can even forgive that pretty easy because I know it's hard to get Stede's voice right.

Plus, I think like the main thing you should think about when you're writing an AU isn't just how your story is in conversation with canon but how your versions of the characters work. I put a lot of work into my AU versions of these characters being recognizably them while also being impacted by their very different experiences and realities - like, in my kraken!Ed AU, he's still Ed but having to hide that he's a literal sea monster his whole life has made him noticeably more timid and way jumpier than his canon counterpart. Often the fun of fic is figuring out "yeah, they actually would say that, and here's why."

Truly my only hard line (besides woefully common very racist ways to write Ed) is when Ed and Stede don't like each other. I've seen enemies to lovers work! They do have the potential to annoy each other at first if you set things up just so! But when they're mean to each other, or very clearly don't care about each other's feelings, that's the thing I just can't buy. Ed's in love with Stede and Stede's in love with Ed, and they're each other's top priority, and that's kinda essential I think.