#I thought of this in the shower

[lohlunat]

A hot take, apparently.

[ithinkimightbeagoose]

good ways to respond to transphobes asking "but what's your real name?"

"What, you mean my human name, or…?"

"I just told you."

"What's your real name? Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine."

"No, no…It's much too complicated to pronounce in your language. On top of that, it has letters you mortals can't comprehend!"

"I can tell you…in exchange for your soul."

"NOT TELLING YOU, FAE." (credits to @peckforlovingheck for this one)

[amberluvsbugs]

Reeses beanut butter cup but there is a @just-a-drawing-bean in it.

[gleaming-glasses]

I sorta feel like Pokémon’s villain lineup has the same energy as Disney’s princess lineup it’s literally some of their most marketable characters standing next to each other vaguely looking at you while standing in a void

Like,,,

Idk I don’t think I’m wrong

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

GT: Roxy.

TG: ya?

GT: Roxy have you been stealing my estrogen?

TG: .

GT: Roxy where is my estrogen.

TG: ..

GT: Roxy.

TG: im the girliepop now, english

TG: ur x chromeosoms are mine

[wilsons-threelegged-siamese]

Head canon:

House has really bad calluses on his right hand from his cane. Wilson makes House rub his hand over his back to itch it, as Wilson adores rough hands. House loves the feeling of Wilsons delicate touch with his soft hands, as he uses lotion. House begs Wilson to try some lotion, but Wilson always refuses as he likes Houses rough hands <3

[themoonlitpearl]

sometimes, i wonder.

that if i was in a room full of people…

would anyone notice me?

would i be worthy enough

to catch someone

with their gaze on me?

i wonder, sometimes.

- themoonlitpearl

[idiotmaggot]

Others: "but you can't make being a frank iero fangirl your entire personality! 😥"

Me: hold my monster energy

[metalbrojack]

“He used to trace my acne scars when they were still visible to calm him down before bed. Now that I’m older and they’ve faded, he traces my tattoos carefully instead.”

[gergthecat]

Jameson, texting Avery: Would you like a photo of my mustache?

Avery: What mustache, I saw you an hour ago?

Jameson: My penile one. I’ve styled it.

Avery: WTF, Jameson, why in the world would you ask that?

Jameson: Well, I wasn’t going to send you an unsolicited dick pic, that would be un-gentlemanlike.

Avery: And styling your pubes is?

Jameson: Yes, he looks very dapper.

[icycoldninja]

[shadow-von-vamp]

shadow asks sonic if there’s anything he would change about him and sonic replies “nut allergy”

the ultimate life form is not allergic to nuts

[rottingbonesanddecayingflesh]

Is Darwin Watterson named after Charles Darwin?? Darwin is a fish that walks on land, and we (as well as most land dwelling animals) evolved from a fish that walked on land. (Darwin's theory of evolution)

[a-dumbass-jester]

Blue hair? let me guess blue tie, hiding in my WiFi?

[shinystealingbirb]

long Aether headcanon coming up: how Aether absorbed each element thus far.

More under the cut please tell me your headcanons too I beg

Aether bonds with each element differently.

When he first placed his hand on Mondstadt’s statue, he is filled with overwhelming delight, as if he is six-winged and space-high, traveling wherever he may. He feels the wind settle in the unnatural hole in his chest, the one where his power should be.

He takes to Anemo immediately, as if it had always been part of him. Maybe it had- after all he is a shooting star, bound only, and vaguely, by gravity. He was freedom incarnate, held down by nothing.

Was.

Geo presents itself to him almost as easily, with its unmovable promises and steadfast loyalty. The element prickles as it enters him, almost icy in nature, and Aether feels urged to shrink away, as if the statue were a chiding teacher and he a misbehaving student.

He knows why. Since he can remember, he has only made one promise: to experience to universe in its entirety by her side. The promise is not broken, he reminds himself, cupping a gleaming orange stone in his hand, and the feeling eases. He wields Geo just as fiercely.

Aether is not prepared for the inazuman statue. The lightning charges through his very soul, tears apart muscle and bone on its way and leaves nothing untouched. So painful it is he cannot scream. It goes on for eons, his hand frozen against the statue, until quite suddenly Electro pulses strong and sharp in the space in his chest.

Eternity is a concept he is similarly well-adapted to and petrified of. Aether is an eternal being- nothing in this life or the next could bring his life to an end, no matter how many times he is dismembered. But the idea of living the same moment until the world dies makes nausea roll his stomach backwards. It is a cowardly, despicable thing, he thinks, and if the price my saying so is pain, so be it.

When he learns of the Twin, and how she died in the Shadow’s arms, he understands, and the lightning becomes malleable in his scarred hands.

Sumeru provides a wonderful reprieve for him, hesitant though he is to touch the statue. Knowledge is a thing sought desperately by all, craved and hoarded and traded more commonly than currency. It is universal. But the delicate cycle of life and death, the one Aether defies, hinders him, and Dendro becomes a struggle to learn.

He only fully understands as Greater Lord Rhukkatevahta’s shadow vanishes, leaving her other half utterly alone. Dendro becomes a bitter element to use, and he does not like to use it.

Aether is careless when he approaches the fifth Archon’s statue. The childish display of theatrics he was greeted with was infuriatinf, and the people’s loose opinions further disgust him. Such flippancy, especially at a the distinction of truth and perjury, should not be the norm, and with this irritation occupying his mind he forgets to be wary.

He touches the statue.

It is pain beyond the Inazuman storms, beyond what Teyvat has thrown at him thus far. It is bursting organs, drowning lungs, rushing blood, as if his skin has split to allow his being to spill out on the ground for all to see. As if he can feel every inch of his body swelling and splitting apart and he is drowning in his own blood.

It is only over when he hears Paimon.

“Aether, you are in Fontaine with Paimon. You are in Teyvat. Paimon needs you to breathe. When you can, please say something…”

She repeats it over and over, chanting in her squeaky voice, and Aether finds it is not in the syllables of Teyvat. She speaks in his home language, and it is just enough to pull him out. He grasps onto her voice like an anchor and wakes.

His body gives out, crumpling upon the pristine flagstones, and he cannot find it in himself to stand. His body feels so very heavy, and the fifth element weighs down upon his bursting chest like a bad omen.

What will the next element feel like?

[ask-gazimon]

A wise astronaut once said, “God is a woman, and she is black.” And I trust NASA more than any church.