#I Do Not Understand And I Am Frustrated

[marzipanandminutiae]

googling "how to make Crimson Peak UHD Blu-Ray play on my PC but explained in terms the kind of bitch who writes 75K words of Crimson Peak fanfiction will understand"

(I know I need an external drive and to download a Software to play it. but do I need anything else? which external drive is best for my money? what software? I do not have a TV and I am not interested in buying one, nor yet the gaming consoles they say work with this format.)

(I have my little Dell running Windows 10 and I am willing to buy an external Blu-Ray drive. That is all)

(help)

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[rubberduckyrye]

Okay in all seriousness. There's something that I REALLY want to talk about as an open discussion with the fandom, but. This is not going to be a very nice thing to hear/talk about.

It's about how Gonta is treated by the fandom.

As a fan of all the V3 characters now, and as someone who has always been a fan of Gonta, and as someone who has many mental disabilities and two diagnosed neurodivergancies... I'm tired of playing nice about it.

You all need to stop being ableist towards Gonta.

I've mentioned in the past that I don't like shitting on personal interpretations. I don't like saying something is or is not canon because narration is just a big web of text that you try to decipher with your own personal biases, experiences, and thoughts. That's why two literary analysts analyzing the same text with the same literary criticism rules can come to wildly different conclusions--why people develop different headcanons from the same canonical information.

But one of the things that challenged my integrity is just how many people view Gonta as this innocent, naive, ignorant, baby boy who can do no harm/never has a complicated/dirty/violent/sexual thought in his life ever.

This incredibly ableist interpretation of the character bothered me for, well, obvious reasons (See: It's fucking ableist, need I say more?) but I never challenged it as harshly as I am now because to be frank, it's not my place to tell people how to HC a character. It still isn't. But I've pretty much given up on my integrity on the subject and have decided to go all in on discussing why this interpretation of Gonta is just. Really bad.

First of all, not to promote my own analyses here or anything, but I think this analysis I did of Gonta explains a LOT in regards to the ableism the cast gives him in canon. I also think that this subtle ableism is why the fandom is so bad with Gonta's characterization in headcanons and fanfic--because they've seen how the cast treats him, and they think it's normal. They don't see the microaggressions, they don't see the subtle ableism in the cast--they just see this big giant idiot who speaks like Tarzan in the English version (which... I don't actually know why people assume Tarzan (Thinking of Disney's version) is stupid. Like as a boy he had to reinvent the spear with no one to guide him on how to do it. He was able to strategize and outsmart "civilized" men in the final showdown. Still I digress) and don't see the literal genius behind his social awkwardness.

There is also another very important point I'm going to make in addition to this, and it's going to be very uncomfortable to Gonta fans who insist he's nothing but a sweet baby who only has pure thoughts. Especially to the fans who insist he "can't be sexual" or think it's weird to ship him with his peers.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but... Gonta blatantly has sexual desire and gets horny right in canon.

This is further clarified here:

It wasn't a matter of Gonta didn't want to touch her because touching someone in their underwear was inappropriate, or being flustered because she was in her underwear which is inappropriate...

It was literally a "weird feeling" that made him unable to approach her or touch her. A "weird feeling" that Miu makes pretty obvious as to what it was--sexual arousal.

He literally was sexually attracted to and felt sexual arousal from looking at Miu in her underwear. He had sexual feelings and thoughts about Miu. Why?

Because Gonta is a young man.

Gonta is a brilliant, talented young man who has normal human thoughts for someone his age--sexual desires, upsetting thoughts, complicated thoughts, ectect. He is not a child, he is not mentally stunted (I've been informed that people have literally said this on Ao3 for the NSFW Gonta fics, please for the love of god stop that)

I think the reason why Gonta fans typically want to keep him as a "pure baby child who can do no wrong" is because treating him like the young adult that he is makes it harder for them to justify Chapter 4. Every time I've seen a Gonta fan that hates Kokichi, it's always followed by the sentiment of "Kokichi manipulated and abused Gonta into killing Miu, so it's all Kokichi's fault." They're afraid of nuance and liking a character with the grey morality of genuinely thinking Mercy Killing the cast is a viable option, because it challenges their own morals about the character they adore.

To those people who read this and are upset: You can and should like Gonta! Gonta is a magnificent character who showcases the subtle way microaggressions can manifest and hurt people, he's a good-hearted person and a literal genius, he cares deeply for his friends and loves everyone with upmost sincerity.

But.

You need to re-evaluate your stance on Gonta if you think he's a stupid, naive fool who Kokichi manipulated. You need to re-evaluate why you think those thoughts, why you think Gonta being shipped with anyone is "Kinda weird" or "has weird consent problems" or "give you the ick." You have to challenge yourself and ask yourself uncomfortable questions in regards to why you treat Gonta like a child when canon has proven otherwise, why you think he cannot have violent or sexual thoughts, why he can't think mercy killing his class is the only way to save them.

This isn't an attack on you--but understand that these specific takes on Gonta? They are ableist in nature. They belittle and dismiss him, they treat him like a child, an idiot who can't think for himself--and you have to come to terms with the fact that Gonta is a far more complex character with complicated thoughts and feelings who is a young adult. Not a child. A young adult.

So again, ask yourself this: Why are you treating this young adult like he's a toddler?

[s0fter-sin]

codtwt is going off on brainwashed!soap bc of his new warzone skin and it’s making me think of ghost deliberately getting himself captured by makarov bc he knows he’ll be given to his dog to try and break him; knows he won’t be able to resist the irony, the cruelty of being tortured by the teammate he lost

he doesn’t fight; welcomes the chains around his wrists and ankles, welcomes the hands stripping him of his weapons and gear until he's defenceless

he wouldn't use them anyway

when he stalks into the room, the muzzle, the scars, not even the blank hatred or lack of recognition could make him mistake his eyes

that's his johnny

he doesn't flinch as he digs knives into his skin; would never shy away from his kiss even if it's tinged with rusted steel. doesn't swallow his screams; not when he always loved hearing him, when he spent so long coaxing his voice from the grave

frustration joins the anger in johnny's eyes the longer he goes without giving up information

just jokes; dark and puns alike

just advice when he can't get the jumper cables to spark right

ghost's not trying to escape; not trying to barter his return to the 141

he's right where he wants to be

[chaosxcrushed]

There's a certain CCCC summary video that we really, really like. We think it is a great video for people if they want to grasp the story more clearly, if they're confused, or if they're listening to the album for the first time.

That video being Chonny Jash and the Weight of the Mind on Youtube by W3tBl@nk3t. We think they cover it really well.

However, I'm sharing this for a different reason; they say few certain things that really struck with us until now, that I'd like to share with the fandom. Sometimes, we see people really just.. Miss the point of CCCC entirely, and I'd like to shine a light on what was said here. If you'd like to hear this for yourself on video, the timestamp is 35:57-36:45.

“..I bet we all could relate to that, they are the prime example of the side of you that suffers and the side of you that hates yourself for suffering:

The side of you that just wants to slow down and feel everything even to the unhealthy extent of not being able to do anything else(1), but also the side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it(2).

Sure, laying in bed all day every day to rot isn't healthy, but neither is boiling things down and invalidating your own emotions. Both are paths to inevitable disaster, and that's what Chonny is doing here. Keep in mind that the idea behind this album is being whole, and that means neither of these sides are entirely in the right or the wrong; this album is about inner compromise and acceptance(3).”

1.) The side of you that suffers; Heart. He is representative of Whole's emotions, he holds them. Your emotions can go haywire, especially when one's mentally ill and has no way of their feelings being validated. An emotional person like Heart suffers under the weight of crushing, devastating feelings. He wants to feel things out, have time to just process everything, even if it takes them days or weeks to get over it. It's not healthy, but feeling is what he does, and he wants to help because he knows he has importance. Solely focusing on just your emotions isn't the best thing to do, however.

2.) The side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it; Mind. Many people have been there, have wanted themselves to stop wallowing in their own emotions and just do something else, even to the point where you think feeling things out is unnecessary. This is also unhealthy, but not intentionally. Like Heart, Mind just wants to help, everything he does is in best interest. This is what he thinks will get them to move on the quickest; to leave behind emotions and focus on anything BUT that. Also not the best thing to do.

3.) This album is about inner compromise and acceptance; About being whole. Neither of Heart and Mind are right nor wrong. They have their own ways of doing things, of what they think will help their whole self out the most, but both are unhealthy despite the good intentions. They fight over who's wrong or right, when they shouldn't even be doing so in the first place. It's your thoughts against your emotions, basically; your feelings contradict your thoughts, and it leads to an inner war of sorts. This won't make things better, which is why you can't have Mind over Heart or vice versa; you'll need both of them. In the album, they are only able to be whole when they get along. They harmonize, they 'combine', they see eye to eye with each other and work together instead of fighting over and over. Inner compromise is achieved with this, and acceptance can lead them away from any disaster that there's to come.

What we're trying to say is that mental health is a large thing tackled within CCCC, and yet we see a lot of people who overlook it; thus, end up missing the point of the whole album. We see a lot of people believe Mind's perspective a little too much and treat Heart quite harshly, or the other way where people demonize Mind and say that Heart is perfect, when it's not really that in the slightest.

This is not a hate post towards people's interpretations of CCCC or how they view characters, I'm just saying that people can tend to overlook what's in the very narrative, and we see a concerning amount of people do such.

Anyways. Stream CCCC and put your Hearts and Minds in the get along shirt. Have a nice day.

[actualaster]

Something that fully healthy people don't really seem to understand about chronic health issues is what running on an energy deficit is like long-term.  It's more exhausting than you can possibly imagine if you haven't experienced it.

How does that work? Well, it's sort of like this. Everybody has a certain amount of energy.  When you're healthy and well-rested, you feel pretty good.  There are artificial boosters that give you more energy, too.  You can do all sorts of stuff.

When you get tired, you can still do some stuff but you can't do as much and what you can do might suffer from lack of energy. Except that's essentially your every day existence with chronic health issues.  You go to sleep tired, and wake up tired--sometimes more tired!

Your energy levels rarely reach "full"--that is, there's few points where you are in a "well rested" state where you feel pretty good and have "normal" levels of energy.  You're *always* operating in "low battery" mode rather than being fully charged, and you drain *fast*.

This makes doing basic tasks much harder than need be--things that drain a little energy you notice a hell of a lot more when you're already dead tired than when you're well-rested.  Like how when your phone drops from 10% to 9% you notice more than from 100% to 99%.

You can do some stuff--but you have an upper limit of what you can do that's a lot lower than other people. And functioning while running against a deficit at all times means a *lot* of careful, conservative planning to husband your strength for when you need it most.

It means sometimes spending 30 minutes deliberating what you should buy when you reach the store because you're trying to guess "will I have the energy to prepare this food after shopping?  Will I later this week?"  You hedge your bets when you can.

It means skipping out on a lot of stuff you'd otherwise love to do because you just can't be sure you'll have the energy to do it without landing yourself in bed for the next 3 days by pushing yourself to collapse. It's depressing. And it's exhausting.

EDIT: This post is for people with physical AND mental health causes for their fatigue and exhaustion, by the way! I know there are posts that really are meant only for one or the other and it's rude to hijack them, but if you find this resonates with you then you're welcome to it regardless of the cause!

[bookwyrminspiration]

me, of my own free will, clocking into the kotlc tag every morning to see what we’re arguing about this time

[rollercoasterwords]

[surskip]

the #1 rule of posting art on the internet is that there will always be a 14 year old with 50k followers creating things that you can only dream of, and while it's fine to privately feel discouraged or like you're behind, if you make this their problem or take it out on them you need to go outside and identify 4 species of birds before you sit back down at your computer

[redvelvetwishtree]

What I've been asking for a while now!! You all love watching animes and reading and watching stuff with such themes but can't seem to understand it now that it's really happening.

Given how obsessed western media and Israel were with the "bUt h@m@s" narrative this time, it makes it plenty obvious that ham@s is no longer the t€rr0r1st body that Israel once empowered and enabled it to be. It's just people/freedom fighters wanting their land back after they've experienced decades of similar barbarity it appears.

And how anyone thinks Palestinian people will come out of the current massacre, mass murder and cruelty all chill and cool is beyond me. Do you seriously expect they won't want to avenge their loved ones after the stuff Israel did to their families??? The school year in Gaza had to be ended because all kids were DEAD. Entireeee family lines have been wiped out. Their hospitals, refugee camps, bakeries, schools everything has been turned to dust. Their internet and phones were cut off while aid was refused entry and all of this is stuff you can read without crying, and feeling sick I haven't listed the stomach turning shit yet.

Oh btw are you all still seriously believing that Israel is out there doing you a favour by t@rgEt1ng h@m@s? They're just killing and slaughtering and destroying so they can expand their colonized land later (this has been said by Israeli politicians and people). Also, they don't care about hostages from their country so before demanding their release from h@mas, talk to Israel.

And what happens when they're done getting rid of h@m@s which I know they're not doing that but still? Palestinians will thank them and carry on with their lives? What have you all been encouraging and celebrating Ukrainians for? Why doesn't that same logic apply here? You don't expect one ounce self-defence from Palestine later??? After alllll that was done?? Get your brain checked.

[cryptiduni]

…i just saw this poll and my unevolved brain gel wriggled inside my cranium like a feral fish:

idk how you look at his official art and call him conventionally attractive. my man looks like a wet dog and has eyebags for daysss. face full of pox scars, skin pale af, and those shaggy ass hair & a rugged beard hanging from his flat long face.

he is pretty *to me* but like dude???

—not exactly a heartthrob boy band material is he?

obv I wouldn’t call him “misunderstood baby uwu” if we are talking a little more seriously —but to be fair jean is having possibly the worst week of his life. the car? fucking sunk. case? unsolved. not to mention his close partner (who is also an ass mind you) doesn’t even remember him, already running around with a new one.

yeah he is absolutely foul and aggressive and degrading harry but like i said before (in my tag essay lol) judit also makes ableist comments and i don’t see people hating her because she’s outwardly nice—

and respects harry as her superior. her BOSS.

(also a friend with benefits? /nope, it’s just him harassing judit/ as well but not as a complicated relationship compared jean and harry’s brötherbund. only a few months of acquaintanceship.)

plus it’s highhlyyy likely that harry is not the only one substance abuse. —look at jean’s rudolf-looking-red-ass-nose. a drunkard’s sniffers. probably had few lines with him late at night… when your lifetime partner is an alcoholic it's hard to say no.

about the left for dead thing, they left because harry told them to fuck off. tbh harry is nightmare to work with esp pre-bender. (and am saying as a pathetic little unmedicated neurodivergent woman.)

but when the second time they left revachol was not jean’s fault, and it was judit’s suggestion anyway. the squad probably thought that since harry had someone a little more responsible looking after him. it will be fine when they come back. the tribunal was absolutely unaccounted for.

yet despite all of these things, he will try to come back to make sure he is ok and accommodate harrier to the best of his abilities which is wearing very thin. look at him trying to make up to our harry boy:

anyways am incapable of writing coherent thoughts (even though i want to talk about it for hours) that make sense so go look at sygneth’s jean psychological analysis instead. it is an excellent read. please go read.

[emry-stars-art]

PSA since I keep going through my inbox like a kid on christmas: I see your asks, I will not ignore them forever, I SWEAR I’m getting to them they’re just TOO GOOD TO RUSH/DO HALFWAY. stop having good ideas and I’ll stop having to do them justice /j

[nuppu-nuppu]

I don't understand how other girls girl so hard and are so pretty and such girlies and everytime I try I feel like a man in a dress

[meteorherd]

some variants of He Would Not Fucking Say That that that drive me up the WALL are 1) He Would Express Those Sentiments, But Not In That Vocabulary and 2) He Would Fucking THINK That But He Would Not EVER Fucking SAY That!!!!!

[ride-a-dromedary]

Idk if it's just a tonal thing not coming across well in text or what, but a lot of the PC's newer (potential) lines with Halsin just sound very condescending for no reason.

[americankimchi]

people are so dumb about the jedi being actually the bad guys like the last film of the original trilogy is literally called return of the JEDI

every time i see the words "the jedi are evil" followed by paragraphs explaining why, how, and when the jedi were cruel and absolutely deserved what they got i just sit there thinking abt the scene where palpatine turns to anakin and asks him if he's heard about the tragedy of darth plagueis the wise. like y'all really would sit there and let this man manipulate you just like that! really defending the whole "sith have a point" thing and conveniently forgetting that they are the ones committing the atrocities that you think the jedi reacted problematically to!

palpatine: i am going to create a situation that is so fucking untenable that the jedi who have sworn to uphold the ideals of peace and the sanctity of life have no choice but to participate in a war that will wear them down physically, mentally, and spiritually in an attempt to destroy them via their need to help relieve the suffering of others. i commit war crimes for breakfast.

the jedi: we have to take command of the clones because if we dont the senate will see these individuals as expendable cannon fodder and that is unacceptable. even if we are at risk of falling due to the constant bombardment of pain and death we feel in the force around and within us we have to keep fighting because choosing not to participate means tacitly approving of the slaughter of billions

people who watched one (1) youtube video saying that jedi are evil: omg look at the jedi fighting in a war!! hypocrites!!! slave owners!!!!! they deserved to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!