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[lilyevansisamilf7]

Another Life - Spencer Reid

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem Reader (Non Specified but imagined fem)

Warnings - not spell checked, character death??, cheating, all cm trigger warnings, Maeve, mentions of eating disorders addiction and suicidal thoughts.

Summary - You we’re ready to marry him, he was ready to leave.

———————————————————————

You fell in love four years ago. Budding new SSA Y/L/N and the marvellous Doctor Reid, the BAUs power couple, attached at the hip - perfect.

And perfect it was, you and spencer had been through everything together. Case after case, his addiction, your own struggles with disordered eating, and everything inbetween, so when he started being distant, and getting migraines, you were sure you could help. You found him the best doctors, geneticists, anything and anyone.

You never thought he’d fall for Maeve Donovan, his geneticist, i mean how could you, you’d seen the ring. He was going to propose, or so you thought, a beautiful amethyst ring hidden in the blazer pocket of his work suit. Not your favourite crystal but you’re sure he had a reason for picking it, he always did.

So you began planning.

And you planned and planned until it suddenly didn’t feel like he was going to propose anymore.

“Spence?” You call out from the kitchen where you’re making dinner.

“Yeah love?” He walks in.

“I was just thinking, do you ever think about marrying me?”

“Well yeah in the future when we’ve settled a bit more, i’m happy how we are right now”

“Oh” You sigh, “What about that ring in your blazer pocket? What’s that for then?”

Silence. You know what that means.

“Is she pretty?” He looks down at his shoes.

Your turn off the stove and wipe your hands on your trousers.

“It’s Maeve isn’t it? The doctor?” You giggle sadly “You always liked them smart”

“Y/n…”

“Does she make you happy?”

“Not like you do”

You scoff. He looks at you confused.

You pick at your nails, crying slightly. “You were the one for me Spence, and I just want you to be happy, I thought that was with me but i guess not anymore” You shrug before grabbing your bag.

“What are you doing?” He try’s to grab your hands.

“Im going to stay with Garcia tonight” You reach the door, “Maybe you can invite Maeve for dinner, i made your favourite. I’ll be back tomorrow to gather my things”

“Please don’t do this..”

“Goodbye Spencer Reid”

———————————————————————

The past month had been hell for you, you didn’t tell anyone the real reason you and Spencer split up, not wanting to ruin his friendships with the rest of the team, but you hadn’t been doing well. You’d lost a lot of weight, stopped going out with the team, and started throwing yourself into your work.

It was plain as day that you were heartbroken.

So when Spencer came in, seeking help for Maeve, you were advised to steer clear of the case. But you were determined to show everyone you were fine.

You worked the hardest on the case and found Diane first, and joined spencer on retrieving Maeve.

You walk in unarmed, as requested by Diane, and see Maeve being held by gunpoint.

“Diane, right?” You try and sound as calm as possible, “I’m Y/n”

“Stay back or I shoot her!”

“She rejected you didn’t she? Your paper? I read it and it was good, just needed a little more evidence”

“What evidence?”

“Someone who wasn’t your parents, who wanted to die”

You breath in

“I can help Diane, you need someone like me, you can kill me”

“You’re trying to trick me!” She exclaims.

“i’m not, Maeve doesn’t want to die, do you Maeve”

She begins to cry begging for her life.

“And you do?”

“I’ve got nothing left to live for”

You look to Spencer sadly.

“Think about it Diane, this gives you the evidence you need” You smile.

“You’re trying to trick me!”

“Fine, I guess Dr Donovan was right” I fake sigh and get a little closer, “You aren’t worth the time or effort”

In an instant, Maeve is thrown to the floor and Diane grabs and shoots you both in the stomach.

You fall to the ground.

Spencer instantly runs to you, cradling you in his arms, your breaths shallow and weak.

“Is Maeve okay?”

Astounded at your care he says “Please don’t worry about her, save your strength, the medics are on their way”

“I don’t think i have the time Spence”

“Please baby” He whispers.

“Are you happy Spence?”

“She’s not you…”

He holds you tight and you reach up to cradle his cheek with your hand, “Please let yourself be happy” A metallic taste covering the inside of your mouth.

As he’s holding you he can feel how much smaller you’ve become. “You’ve not been taking care of yourself” He begins to cry

“It’s not important now,” I whisper, “Spence?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think i’m another life we made it

He thinks for a moment.

“I’m every universe i will be forever yours, I just wish it could’ve been in this one too” Beginning to sob

“And i will always be yours too, you were it for me Spencer Reid”

His tears fall down quicker than you can wipe them away.

“At least we’ll have all those other lives, we could have that wedding I planned,” I giggle sadly, “You would’ve loved it”

“I should’ve asked you, I wanted it to be you”

“I wanted it to be me too”

Your eyes begin to close, in the distant shouts for medics get louder, the blaring of sirens closer.

“I love you” he whispers, “Please don’t leave me, we’re not done yet”

———————————————————————

[lilyevansisamilf7]

You’re Prettier - Eddie Munson

Warnings - Insecure reader, Eddie being a bit of a dick, oblivious Eddie, angst to fluff, reader is 18

Summary - Eddie’s spending a lot more time with Chrissy lately and his best friend doesn’t know how to feel about it

———————————————————————

Friday nights were always Hellfire nights, Eddie was always adamant about that. “Fridays are when the schools dormant,” he would say, “When everyone goes home the freaks come out to play”

We all knew really that Eddie only held Hellfire on Fridays because his uncle was off, and as much as he loved Wayne, he never knew what to say around him. I got that, we all got that. Which is why we were so surprised when Eddie announced at lunch Hellfire was cancelled today.

“My fine friends, you’re king must cancel our festivities this evening with his greatest sadness”

Dustin started listening for the first time that lunch, “Wait what? What do you mean?”

“You’re finest Dungeon Master has scored himself a deal with the one and only”

“Jason Carver?”

Eddie scoffs loudly. “No.”

I pipe up for the first time since Eddie started talking, “Who then Ed’s?”

“Chrissy Cunningham”

“No you didn’t”

“But I did though”

“She does drugs?”

“No”

I was confused now, majorly. “What does she want from you then?”

Eddie crossed his arms and I knew I worded that wrong, “My company?”

“Im proud of you Ed’s, she’s really pretty”

I stand up and Dustin looks up at me.

“Where are you going Y/N?”

Taking a deep breath, I sigh and say, “I’ve got some homework I need to work on so I’m gonna go to the library and work on it”

“The library?” The surprise evident in his voice

“Yeah. The library”

———————————————————————

I didn’t go to the library. I went home. I just wanted to lay in bed and cry and eat ice cream, but mostly I just want Eddie.

No one knew how i felt about him, no one even asked because I always was good at hiding it, I was pretty touchy anyways so when Eddie held my hand no one questioned anything, and when I leant my head on him no one said anything because that’s just Eddie and Y/N - the best friends that act like they’re ten years married

Which is why it hurt when he said he was seeing Chrissy, because i had no one to call, because in situations like this I would call Eddie, and now i can’t. My mind couldn’t help but wander to the possibility of Chrissy and Eddie dating one day, how I wouldn’t be allowed to hold his hand anymore because that was her job, and I wouldn’t be the one he ran to when more than three people went to his gig, because she’ll be the first on the list.

And I couldn’t help but wonder if she’ll be the type of girlfriend who won’t want him to have a best friend whose a girl, and I can’t help but wonder whether if he’s made to choose, will he choose me?

I mean I wouldn’t. She’s really pretty, and she’s tiny, and rich and she’s a cheerleader and she’s so fucking kind, and so sweet and I can’t hate her no matter how hard I try because all I want is to be her. And I can’t be her.

I couldn’t call Eddie, but I needed someone. So I decided to call Robin. We met last year, she was graduating but we worked together over the summer. We both worked at Scoops Ahoy with Steve but Steve never really liked me as much as Robin did, I never really found out why. But I knew now I needed a friend, and one that wasn’t Eddie.

———————————————————————

I opened the door to find Robin standing there with ice cream.

“My god you’re a fucking godsend Robin Buckley” I squealed, “How do you not have a girlfriend yet?”

“Not many gay people in Hawkins Indiana babe, and if there was I haven’t met them”

“Maybe I’ll turn gay and date you”

“Not sure that’s how it works N/N”

“Will you buy me ice cream whenever I’m sad?” I say grabbing a spoon and pointing it at her.

“Duh, you love ice cream”

“I will marry you then”

Robin just laughs and we both flop down on my couch.

“He didn’t like me Rob”

And that’s when the first tear fell and in seconds Robin was at my side, arm around my shoulder burying my face in her shoulder.

“Who N/N? They must be really dumb”

“Eddie’s not dumb Rob!”

“Oh babe, Eddie’s super dumb if he doesn’t like you”

And I just cried harder at that.

After a while the tears stopped, and I looked up, immediately cringing at the tear stains on Robins shirt.

“I’m sorry I cried all over your boob Rob”

“Ahh it’s fine, most action i’ve got in weeks”

I giggle slightly at that

“Hey, I told you I’d marry you, that’s action” I say pointing at her

She holds her hands up in the air, beginning to walk out the door, “are you gonna be alright alone tonight? I can come back”

“I’ll be fine”

And with that and a closed door, I was alone again.

———————————————————————

I just couldn’t sleep that night. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop my mind from blaring thoughts of Eddie, his hair and his face and how much I just wanted him to make me laugh right now.

As if my thoughts came to life, Eddie burst through my window. He never used my front door.

“Eddie you can’t be here” I breathe, “You have a date”

“I cancelled”

I couldn’t help but turn to face him

“Why?”

It was only now I saw how sad Eddie looked, his eyes sunken in and frown prominent on his face . I just wanted to run up and hug him, tell him that it was all okay, that he’s okay but I couldn’t, he’s with Chrissy. He’s with Chrissy, I remind myself

“Well it was never really a date and even if it was I wouldn’t want to go and I just felt bad because I let down you and the boys and I cancelled Hellfire and I never do that and technically she’s still with Jason so when she went to kiss me I felt dirty”

I honestly had no clue what to say

“And I hurt this really pretty girl this morning”

We sat in silence for a couple of moments

“Ed’s?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

He turned to look at me and held my face in his hands, looking directly into my eyes.

“You?” He breathes, “You’re the prettiest person on this planet”

“She’s really pretty, like really pretty”

He laughs slightly

“You’re prettier”

And with that our lips finally connected and he was all I tasted. Smoke and chapstick - Eddie. And I felt at home for the first time in a long long time, more at home than I’d ever felt. And then it ended

“I’m sorry that wasn’t how it was supposed to go, I was gonna so you out and tell you I love you an-“

“You love me?”

“Wasn’t that obvious, princess?”

“I love you too” I say with a huge smile on my face

“Will you Y/N be my girl?”

I don’t think I’ve ever smiled so hard in my life

“Yes Ed’s, omg yes”

“My girl”

“Well you have to share me with Robin” I say as we lay down, my head resting on his chest.

“What?” He exclaims

“Long story”

[lilyevansisamilf7]

James: Imagine if someone handed you a box of everything you ever lost throughout your life.

Sirius: Self-esteem, haven’t seen you in years!

Peter: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Remus: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Regulus: My moral code, is that you?

James:

James: I was just gonna show you the cool trunk my mum sent me but do you guys need a hug?

[lilyevansisamilf7]

James: I think we’re missing something.

Sirius: Teamwork?

Peter: Cohesion?

Remus: A general sense of what we’re doing?

[lilyevansisamilf7]

James: You lying, cheating piece of crap!

Sirius: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks they can get away with anything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

James: I’m leaving you, and IM TAKING PETER WITH ME

Remus, picking up the monopoly board: I think we should stop playing now…

[lilyevansisamilf7]

We Could Do It You Know - Sirius Black

Warnings - Sirius home situation is a huge part of this so abuse and shit, angst and fluff

Summary - Sirius hates his family, and he loves you

———————————————————————

You always hated that howlers were red, it was understandable that they were meant to be different for normal letters but was it really necessary that they be bright red, they already yell at you.

You knew the boys, and you knew without even looking that the howler was for Sirius, the silence much too well known - not that it lasted for long as he ran off the second it landed in front of him, desperate to escape the eyes of the great hall. The silence, however, still remained: the shock of Sirius’ departure changing the mood of the dinner.

Suddenly James piped up from next to you, stand up on the bench, “Oh so what, he got a howler, I’ve had tons of them before haven’t I N/N?”

“Yeah, millions Prongs,” you say joining him on the bench, “Mia and Monty weren’t too fond of the time we owled them a toilet seat, but they did love the polyjuice prank, Remus not so much though.”

“Yeah but Remus is one big worry wart N/N, he was just too worried we didn’t know how to make the potion and one of us would be blown up or something”

“Thanks for caring Moony,” the lycanthrope muttered, “We appreciate it and know in our hearts the marauders would never be the same without you”

At this point, the great hall was back to normal, you and James boring them half to sleep. With no time at all you ran to find the boy who started it all.

———————————————————————

You found the boy curled up in bed, his body shaking and your heart broke at the sight.

“Sirius?” You say, taking a seat next to him.

“Th- they said i have to, I have to come home, for the summer,” he took a deep breath, “They said, they said I was needed, that he wanted to, wanted to meet me”

That as all it took for him to break down in your arms, comforting words uttered near silent, tears turning your school shirt transparent, and you thanked the lord you wore a bra today.

“I- I can’t stop them,” he whimpered, “I don’t know how, I’m sorry”

“Shhhh, I’ve got you Pads,” you shush, “Just breath, we’re gonna figure it out”

You sat in silence for a bit, at some point moving so you were both laying down. You were holding Sirius, his back to your chest and for the first time in the past 20 minutes his breathing slowed a little.

“What am I going to do N/N?”

The words were whispered but to you they felt much louder than they should’ve, you knew you had to do something, you couldn’t stand the idea of leaving him with those people any longer. He wouldn’t leave without Regulus though, and you completely understood why, they may not always see eye to eye but Sirius knew Regulus was a good guy at heart, and if he left without him, god knows who he’s become.

Several seconds passed, the heavy breaths fell upon deaf ears, you both to busy in your thoughts to voice any ideas.

“We could do it you know?”

“Do what?” he says, turning to face you.

“We could get away, this summer,” you say, looking into his eyes, “We could get you away, just you, me and Reg”

“Reg can come?”

“He’s coming whether he wants to or not darling, he wouldn’t be able to survive without you, the poor boy doesn’t even know how to swim” You both laughed at that. “We’d go to James for a bit, and I’d get a job and we could buy a nice apartment, in London, but muggle London, I wanna teach my boy all about muffle life and then we’ll take Reg to a muggle swimming pool and teach him how to swim. And we can have Moony and Prongs come over and we can walk around London and show them all the places we learnt about and they can stay over and we can learn to cook together, we could get away”

“They said, if I didn’t go back they’d burn me off the tapestry, and that I’m disowned”

“We can make our own tapestry,” you say, thinking once again, “it can be red and gold and have me, you and Reg on it and we can charm it so it adds all our children on there”

After that you just laid for a couple minutes, you both smiling, for once not dreading the future.

“Are you really gonna teach Reg how to swim?”

“Well someone has to, what kind of person doesn’t know how to swim?”

And magically at the same time we both say “Slytherins”

———————————————————————

Some time a couple hours, the other three marauders walked into the dorms. Sirius had fallen asleep a little bit ago and you just held him, he looked so peaceful as he slept.

“Is he alright?” Prongs whispered, careful not to wake him

“I think so,” he hummed in response, “James?”

“Yes Y/N?”

“Can they stay with you in the summer?”

“Who?”

“Pads and Reg” you whispered, stroking your hand through Sirius’ grown out hair.

“They don’t even need to ask, they’re always welcome”

“Thanks Prongsie, we all knew you had a heart really,” a sleepy voice respond from beside me.

“Darling, go back to sleep”

“I want a kiss first”

You sigh and lean down to peck his lips goodnight, moving down after to lay your head on his chest, his hand resting firmly on you waist.

“I love you Pads”

“I love you most ma chérie”

[lilyevansisamilf7]

Clingy - Remus J Lupin

Warnings - Remus being an angsty boi :( also language

Summary - In a pre full moon rage, Remus tells his friends he thinks his girlfriend is too clingy

———————————————————————

Every Friday you’d spend the night in the Marauders dorm. It had been that way since before you and Remus started dating, only now instead of sleeping on the floor you got to sleep snuggled into the chest of your favourite werewolf.

So it wasn’t unusual to be saying goodbye to the girls for the night, and it wasn’t unusual for you to be running late - you were always running late. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to the wolf waiting for you in the dorm, you guys hadn’t been dating long, only a month or so, but you’d been friends for years. Since third year to be exact, you’d met in potions, when you made a horrible mess out of the work and he helped you convince Slughorn that you needed a tutor. Through him you met the boys, and for every Friday since third year, you slept in their dorm.

It was now sixth year and not much had changed, apart from dating Remus and one thing you knew from the three years knowing the boys is that a silent room is never a good sign.

“I can’t believe she’s running late again,” James said laughing

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop

“I can, she’s always late and honestly I’m kind of glad she’s not here right now”

“Remus, don’t say that,” Sirius whispered.

The werewolf chuckled at that a little before speaking up once again, “Why not Sirius? She’s always here, she’s always around me and it’s unbearable.”

“You don’t mean that,” a voice squeaked. You almost missed it, with it being that quiet

“Yes I do Wormy, maybe if she spent half as much time focusing on noticing when people need space as she does when you tell her stupid prank plans maybe there’s be some peace and quiet once and a while”

There was nothing to be heard after that and you decided that maybe it was time to break your Friday tradition.

Wiping your tears, you made your way back down the stairs, walking across the common room to the girls stairs, and practically dragging yourself back up the stairs.

Lily started as soon as you walked through the door, “Hey, why are you back? Did you forget your toothbrush again? I keep telling you to leave one there.”

You giggled slightly at that

“No Lils, just not feeling great,” You murmured as you laid on your bed, still not made from that morning, “I think it’s that time of the month.”

“Ah, do you need me to take you to Pomfrey, for pain potions?”

“I’ll be okay Lils,” you said drifting off to sleep.

——————-

The next morning you laid in bed until 11, telling the girls some lie about having cramps but then Lily said if you didn’t get up she’d get Pomfrey because she was getting worried.

You went and sat in the kitchens after that, claiming to be hungry after not eating anything that morning, not that you ate whilst you were there - you just sat and talked to the elves and helped them clean in the afternoon. It calmed me a great deal, you could see why they love it so much.

Dinner came and went after that, and you decided it was best if you just went to bed. You didn’t want to go to library, he’d be there, and you didn’t want to go to the common room, he’d be there. He was everywhere, so you’re trying to be nowhere. He needs space, you need him.

You knew the full moon was coming up and you knew it would be best to wait until after to talk to him again, getting him stressed out before hand would only make the transformation worse. The boys had told you all about the bad transformations, the ones where he came back in a million piece, with more scars than ever before, but despite what he thought of himself, he would always be beautiful to you - your beautiful moony.

——————-

The full moon came and passed a couple days later, the entire time you and Remus never being seen in the same room. The astronomy tower has become your favourite part of the castle these days, which Lily found extremely ironic when you told her, muttering about how you hated astronomy and you were always really bad at it. You could’ my be mad though, you always were horrible at the subject, the only subject you ever excelled at being Care of Magical Creatures.

You were sure that Remus was having the time of his life right now, finally living out his dreams of peace and quiet and whatever he longed for whilst you were there.

——————

Today marked one week of Remus avoidance, and you still sat in the girls dorm, not even bothering to get up and tell the boys you’re not going… again.

“James?”

“Yeah mate?”

“Have you seen Y/N?” Remus whispered.

“Not today, Lily said she has mad cramps this month, had to drag her out of bed the other day, she probably just doesn’t feel that well,” he shrugged

Sirius immediately sat up in his bed, “Dude, you told us last week she was unbearable, you must be thrilled that she hasn’t shown up for two weeks,” he said walking towards him and flopping on Remus’ bed.

“Everyone knows I get a little grouchy before the full moon, I didn’t mean that”

Everyone stay silent at that

“What?”

James was the one to break the silence, “Yeah you can be a little grumpy sometimes dude but what you said was out of line, Y/N wasn’t even here and I felt sad for her. You should be glad she wasn’t here, otherwise I don’t think you’d have a girlfriend anymore”

More silence followed after that.

————————

You were the only one at the astronomy tower at this time of night, it was eerily calm. It was almost too quiet, until you felt the presence of someone much taller than you sit next to you, their legs extending much past yours.

“Hi”

“Hi, umm hey, I can go if you want me to,” you say getting up and moving towards to door

He grabs your wrist, “Stay”

No other words are said for several minutes but you sit back down next to him, this time a bit further away, noticing the frown on his face when he sees the distance.

“Did I do something?”

“No” I whisper.

“Is because I’m a werewolf, because I can understand that, I told you I was a monster and I know you guys keep telling me not to say it but I know I am and I’m hideous and ugly and I’d understand if you’d hate me because I’m a werewolf”

“Remus, you’re the most beautiful person I know. But don’t tell Sirius I said that please” you say chuckling slightly.

“Why haven’t I seen you this week?” He breathes, “Why didn’t you come to the dorm?”

“Cramps, they were really bad this month”

“Don’t lie to me darling”

“Remus-“ you start

“Why do you keep calling me Remus, you always call me Moony or Moons or love but never Remus?”

“I’ve just been busy re- Moony” You correct.

“Please don’t lie to me”

Looking down at your feet you know you need to tell him you heard

“I’m trying to learn to pay more attention to when people need space and pay a little less attention to stupid prank plans”

“What do you mean darling? Who needs space?”

You chuckle softly, picking at the skin around my nails, “I didn’t want to be unbearably clingy anymore”

“What? You’re not clingy”

“Yes Remus, I must be”

You could almost see the cogs whirring in his head, confusion twisting to realisation very swiftly,

“Baby…”

“It’s okay, I understand. I can be a bit unbearable sometimes, I’m working on it, that’s why I didn’t turn up, thought you’d appreciate a boys night” you smiled slightly

“Darling,” he says grabbing my chin making me look at him, “The only thing I want right now is for my gorgeous girlfriend to come with me to my dorm, which I’ve kicked the guys out of, so we can cuddle and be clingy and go to sleep next to each other and wake up smiling, okay?”

You couldn’t help the smile growing on your face.

Wiping your tears, you hold out your pinky, “Pinky promise me, pinky promise me I’m not unbearable”

Our pinky’s locked

“I pinky promise”

“Can I have a kiss Moons?”

You didn’t get an answer, his lips instead finding yours, kissing you with such passion you’d think he hadn’t seen you in months. You wrap your arms around his neck, moving to straddle his lap, his hands staying firmly on your hips. Pressing your hips down, you moan into his mouth, gripping the hair at the base of his neck to ground yourself. When you pull away from each other, you rest your forehead in the crook of his neck, breathing still heavy, and eyelids growing tired.

Neither of you know how long you were sat there, with you in his lap but eventually you made your way to his dorm, stumbling past the other three Marauders half asleep in the common room, muttering about making sure you used protection.

Now both of you lay on your side, his chest pressing into your back, and his head in your neck, arm draped around your waist, breathing softer and slower.

“Goodnight darling” he says, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“Night love”

[lilyevansisamilf7]

I Think We Could - James Potter

Warnings - none really just kinda angsty

Summary - You love James, but he loves Lily more. Could he learn to love you?

__________________________________________

His eyes were blue.

I’d never noticed that before but they were really blue, especially in the firelight - the common room was way past cold and it was way past curfew, it was only us awake now, and I couldn’t help but notice they were blue.

For once in a long time, my mind didn’t wander to the potions essay that’ll I’ll worry about getting done in time and still do two hours before lesson and for once it was silent.

“I love you”

I didn’t mean to blurt it out, but maybe it’s better I did it now, with a war on the horizons I don’t want to die with regrets. I needed him to know, even if he didn’t love me too. I mean for the past five years he’s been obsessed with lily, I understand why too, she’s beautiful and she’s kind. God why is she so hard to hate, I want to hate her, but I can’t. I just can’t.

“Oh umm y/n I love you too,” I smiled a huge grin.

“I mean you’re my best friend, other than Sirius of course but you’re still one of my best friends and I love all my friends”

My smile then dropped. I don’t know if he kept rambling after that, I knew he couldn’t love me, maybe it was for the best.

“Are you crying?” I touch my hand to my face

“Oh I guess I am” I chuckle lightly, and he looks at me puzzled

“What’s wrong n/n?” He moved closer to me, “Is it that time of month, do I need to raid moonys chocolate stash again?” I laughed lightly to that, remembering all the times we stole Remus’ chocolate and then ran from him as he chased us all the way to Honeydukes to buy him more.

“No James, I just love you”

“I know, but why are you crying?”

“No James, I love you” I cried, “Like the way you love lily, not the way you love Sirius”

“Oh”

The silence that followed that hurt my heart. I’d never seen James look so confused, not in the six years I’ve known him, not in all that time has he looked so confused, not even when he found out about periods or Remus’ furry little problem, I didn’t know what to do.

“It’s okay Jamie, I just needed to say it” I smile, “We’re still best friends and everything I just need some time to figure myself out, I know that you don’t love me the way I love you and that’s fine but I need time to heal my heart, I need some time to heal me James” I watched as a tear escaped his eye too quick for him to catch it

“But you’ll come back right?” he whimpered, “You have to come back, you’re my y/n, you have to”

I get up and squat in front of him, grabbing his hands

“I’ll always come back Jamie, I’m y/n, your y/n. I just need some time”

Hearing his cry’s broke my heart but I knew I needed the space, I always hated seeing him cry, I was the one he’d need when he cried about lily, or about his parents or the war, and I couldn’t stand the sight of it.

“Oh don’t cry Jamie, Im not going to be gone for very long, I just need some time to cry and eat ice cream and then we can be best friends together and prank Snape together again, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered.

I got up to leave but a hand grabs my wrist, why did he have to make this so difficult.

“Y/n?” A voice calls out

“Yes Jamie”

“I think we could, I think I could love you like that, someday,” he said, his voice cracked from tears.

“I know Jamie, I know,” I turn back around, “But right now you don’t, I don’t know how long my feelings will let me wait.”

Walking towards him, I bend down to kiss his forehead, brushing his curls out of his eyes. I lean our heads together one last time and start walking away. When I reach the steps I turn to him.

“Jamie?”

“Yes,” he responds happily

“You’re eyes are really pretty, they’re really blue”

And then I walked away, I swear I could’ve seen him blush.