#zombiecleo they could never make me hate you.

[teapot-of-tyrahn]

the prose in the description of zombiecleo's life series videos are absolute POETRY. these sound like FANFIC TITLES. like:

"You hold on until you can't hold on anymore." "Things descend into what they were always going to become." "Happy endings are about where you stop your story." "No way to win and nothing to lose."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THOSE WEREN'T MADE BY SYLVIA PATH BUT A MINECRAFT YOUTUBER ABOUT A MINECRAFT ROLEPLAY. ABSOLUTELY INSANE. ZOMBIECLEO I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE ARTIST. I AM USING THESE IN ALL MY FANFICS NOW FOREVER. AMEN.

[fountainpenguin]

"I'm not a bite; I'm a five-course meal. You want the rest? Better sell your soul- Nobody has to know..." (x)

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New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 26 - “Ignite (Cleo, Martyn, Bdubs, Scott)”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

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Fake dating to fool the government isn't as easy as it looks; Martyn and Cleo start drawing lines.

Meanwhile, Mayor Smajor1995 and mayoral candidate GoodTimesWithScar debate allay hybrid boundaries and vex rights in the server hub. Turns out, politics aren't easy, even in Minecraft fantasy world...

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

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ZombieCleo - Zombie

Status: Awkward

Historian, museum curator, and stadium gamemaster

🖤  🧡  💚

BigB blinks. "I don't believe it… What did I just hear?"

Cleo digs her nails in Martyn's skin. "What did you hear?"

"He's courting you?" BigB vaporizes the notebook back into the soul slot of his inventory. He leaps down from the lamppost. Enormous moth wings crack open long enough for two small flaps, then pull in like rolled-up cookie dough as his feet tap against the bedrock road. "No way," he says, and Cleo does not love the tremor in his voice. BigB stalks forward. His hands shake at the wrists. Martyn slides one arm forward, putting it between BigB and Cleo, but BigB doesn't even slow. He opens his mouth, eyes wobbling like a reflection in a pond. Or maybe a twisted mirror. "Did you just pretend to be courting to get Scott off your back? Did you just lie to Scott?"

"What?" The word gushes out. Martyn grips their arm. BigB steps forward, wings sweeping at his heels like a cloak, and those few extra pixels of height difference suddenly make all the difference in the world. Cleo brushes Martyn aside, fading him to the background, and lurches forward to meet BigB in the middle of the road. He wraps his arms around himself, nails curled and dragging down his sleeves. They're catching in his blue jumper threads. "Excuse me?"

"You're lying. Cleo, this isn't you."

Why does he know? Why can he see through her to her core and recognize what Scott couldn't? It twists a sword around and around in her gut, the same way BigB twisted it when he stabbed upwards, clutching her body close against him in that Last Life river all those years ago. Before he let her slump forward, splashing, dead and swirling in Cleo-colored pixels all the way down. She wishes for half a second she was Martyn just to have a tail to snap. "Who are you to tell me how I feel?"

BigB opens his mouth… but nothing comes out. He closes it again, rolling back on his heels. He blinks. He blinks again, and Cleo's hearts pump through her code and wham against their skin. BigB doesn't say the words. He just looks at her, but she can read the question in his face.

"You forgive him for killing you on-server over a pointless joke? He took your life and you take him back? You share your flowers… But when it was boogeyman curse stuff, you threw me away? You still avoid eye contact? Still claim to hate me? Still claim what's broken can never be fixed?"

He doesn't say any of that, because he's BigB. BigB is a quiet person. He just…

He looks at her, and she reads it off him. Cleo's fingers tighten at her sides, pinching pixels until the nails phase through skin. BigB backs off fast, mumbling and lifting his palms in some roundabout apology. Cleo says something then, like "Don't start- We're over-" and Martyn moves forward then. He wraps his arm behind her neck so it drapes around her shoulder. She doesn't push him off. He's loose, eyeing her, waiting for a signal.

They could probably say something like "Martyn's my soulmate" and maybe he'd believe it. But… those words gleam like bitter poison on her tongue.

Double Life was just a mod and a randomizer on a server of 14 people. Martyn's not "perfect" for her. He's just the sap who latched onto her health bar like a leech. Tango and Jimmy can play it up all they like, and Etho and Joel are the same way. But Martyn is not that good a match for her. He's "there." He's not "perfect." And the soulmate mechanic doesn't mean jack out in Between. It's unrealistic to find someone who fits so well in your life in a server of only 14.

"I'm sorry," BigB mumbles, lowering his head. His wings shift, the eyespots squeezed tight just like his actual eyes. They're chocolate chips sinking into cookie dough. He takes two steps back, squaring his shoulders, and links his hands behind his neck. Full posture. Wings down, not flapping in her face. "Did Scott yell at you? Are you okay? … I won't tell him. I know what it's like to need a breath of air. It's one of the reasons I modded away my ability to see through blocks. It was… too tempting."

Cleo's brain skips a beat. "We're fine, thanks. And don't you tell Scott we were lying, because we weren't lying."

Why him? fills the silence between them. BigB's wings shift. "I won't tell," he repeats. "Just be more careful next time. There's raiders out there tonight and it's a full moon. Take it from someone who used to run with the pack: they're looking for a fight tonight. Glad they didn't get you, though. Glad you're safe." One antennae lifts, tracking vibrations in the air. "Have a nice night, you two."

"We will," they chorus, and BigB trots off towards the tunnel entrance. His wings aren't bulky like Martyn's are. They're made of stretched-thin code without tight-knit bony bits. He wriggles through and disappears. He's off to check on Scott. Cleo lowers their voice to a whisper so thin, Martyn leans his head in to hear. "Mmhm. Great… This is fantastic, Martyn. Now all of New Star will know about us by next week… if not 20k ticks from now."

Martyn turns his head. He doesn't speak, clearly reluctant to say too much when they don't know where his hearing range cuts off. He breathes in soft, flickery huffs. He says nothing.

Neither of them speak for a moment. Martyn holds her shoulder and Cleo leans their head on his, even as their ear prickles against his pixels. She wants to address the "ravager in the chunk border" they're both ignoring here, but Scott and BigB are dangerous people to speak these things around. And Martyn can't look at her. Won't look at her. He fiddles with his hoodie pocket. His tail uncurls against the ground.

"You look flustered," Cleo tells him, just to break the silence. She disengages from his arm and steps back. It's a full moon. She's dropped to sunset hour, her wrist-comm glowing orange, but who knows… He might shriek or lash out as aggro takes control, even if he doesn't eat her. Fine. She's got the stomach for it. "You good?"

Martyn coils his tail like a fist. He knocks it against the bedrock floor. When he turns, his eyes train on hers, like a dog's, though pale blue freckles flip over across his cheeks as pixels rearrange. "Um…"

The word stutters out. Cleo looks at him. Martyn, in all his faults, is the most honest man in the world. Oh, he's a liar. He's only loyal as far as you can reel him in. But for all his fumbling, you can read him like his thoughts are printed on his face. And he knows it, too…

… and doesn't know what to say.

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

[simple-seranade]

Can you ramble about Joe hills more? I've seen bits of him here and there, and might have caught part of a stream once, but my memory of the stream could have been a hallucination based on what happened

of course!!!

so. joe hills, from nashville tennessee! my first exposure to them was a clip of him attacking scott (violently gay) in minecraft because scott said “i hate the gays” as a joke and joe didn’t realize scott was gay. he is an icon

it is completely fair to think you hallucinated some of his stuff, it does feel like that sometimes

the joe hills difference is difficult to put into words, as he is truly a perplexing man. the only person who has ever outweirded joe hills is oli orionsound, and that is quite the feat considering the mcyt weirdness that can exist.

he does crafting streams with zombiecleo that are genuinely some of my favorite things to listen to. he isn’t afraid to ask questions or have, like, genuine conversations about things, which i like. he’s also just really awesome human being in general, he’s a big ally and pays his chat moderators a living wage.

i feel like the only one who can properly get across the joe hills vibe is joe hills himself, and a leisurely scroll through the @joe-hills-said blog will provide plenty of the vibes.

but yeah, he just? makes me really happy? like man. he’s so thoughtful about things, never fails to make me smile

[canned-goose-feathers]

snacks, hidey, locust :0 ?

Pies? Sure. Weird quests? Not out of the ordinary. But if she finds out that Ren is behind the locusts, she'll be having a word with him. Or a few.

Cleo picks another locust off the back of her neck and mercilessly crushes it. This is ridiculous. No one else seemed very bothered but, then again, no one else was a walking bug buffet. She hisses as one nips at her arm.

That's it.

ZombieCleo: I've had it with these things

ZombieCleo: I'll burn down the whole server

joehillssays: That seems like a bit of an overreaction but I support you in all your endeavors. 

ZombieCleo: The bugs

joehillssays: Oh. 

ZombieCleo: They're driving me batty

joehillssays: Ah, I was wondering if anyone would bring that up. I have a theory about the locusts that I think may solve your problem. 

ZombieCleo: go on

joehillssays: Well, bees have a queen, kind of like a monarchy but not really. Locusts, on the other hand, aren't bees, so they don't have a queen. 

ZombieCleo: ??? 

joehillssays: So, by that logic they must have a king! Because as everyone knows, flying insects all abide by a monarchy system. They'd have to, I can't imagine what democracy among bees is like. 

ZombieCleo: joe please what are you talking about

joehillssays: Hold please. 

Before Cleo can really think about what Joe could possibly be talking about, she hears the signs of fireworks and a soft landing nearby. The man himself runs up.

"Howdy, Cleo!" he says.

"Hi Joe."

"So as I was saying, all flying insects abide by the monarchy system. So that's bees, locusts, you know that kind of thing. This also implies currently, the Hermits are flying insects, which does make sense as we do fly—"

"Hold on," Cleo stops Joe (probably for the best, he was turning a little red), "are you implying there's a king locust?"

"Yeah, of course there is."

"Right," Cleo says, holding back from rolling her eyes. "Well, I'm sick enough of these things I'll try pretty much anything. Any ideas where to find this king locust?"

Joe purses his lips. "Well bees have beehives, but I've never heard of locust hives. Don't they live in the ground?"

"That's cicadas."

"What's the difference?"

"Not a clue."

Joe shrugs and bats away a locust. "They get quieter at night. Maybe we can follow them to their nest?"

"A stealth mission, I like it." Cleo grins widely. 

It turns out that the stealth mission also involved killing half the day. Cleo explicitly bans Joe from working on his poetry anymore (it wasn't that it wasn't good, it was, it's just that she can only hear the same line in different accents so many times). Joe ends up going over some plans for his base while Cleo carefully works on her bullet journal. 

In hindsight, setting up an entire arts and crafts session may have not been the best idea while waiting to start a stealth mission.

Cleo elbows Joe and cuts off his whine with a finger to the locust cloud moving away from them. They're up and in the air in . . . Well, not very quickly. Cleo wasn't just going to leave her journaling supplies out in the elements, after all. A mad dash to put everything away and they're finally rocketing off after the insects. 

"Should we hang back so they don't see us?" Joe yells over the wind. 

"Joe, they're bugs. They have terrible eyesight."

"How do you know?" 

"They have compound eyes, so they can see more but they don't have depth perception, so they have to move closer— you know what? I'll tell you later."

"You know, several species of spiders hunt via sight— although those are arachnids so they don't really count I guess. Dragonflies are also known for their excellent eyesight, and I don't even know what kind of monarchy system they abide by—" 

They continue to discuss the eyesight of certain insects as they follow the swarm. Flying a bit higher helps to see where the swarm is headed; the locusts funneling into a hole in the ground. At Cleo's direction, they land once the skies are clear and Cleo peers down the hole. She grimaces. 

"I hate small spaces," she groans. 

"I'm claustrophobic!" Joe says cheerily as he climbs down the hole. 

"Don't you sleep in a pinball?" Cleo ducks down to follow him. 

"...Anyways!" Joe ducks his head and shimmies into the small space. 

The tunnel is rough-carved and damp. Cleo has a much harder time fitting through than Joe does, but eventually it opens up into a cave. Cleo can see the flit of bugs through the air. As Joe lights a torch, Cleo can see the massive cave is lined with locusts on every available surface. Joe nudges her and she follows his gaze. There, in the center of the cave, is a locust at least twice as big as a horse. 

"You're joking," Cleo whispers. "How did you, I mean. There is actually a king of locusts."

"Of course there is," Joe says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "You know all this about eyes and stuff, but the hierarchy of flying insects is new information?" 

"Joe, maybe we should keep it down."

"Bugs don't have ears. At least I don’t think. Anyway, like I was saying." Joe pulls out a few sticks of TNT. "Bees have queens, locusts have kings. Wasps probably have, like, Tsars or something, I'm not sure. Hold on, let me put this down."

She watches with bated breath as Joe creeps far closer to the resting king than she would. He sets down a few pieces of TNT near it, then hurries back up to where Cleo is waiting. 

He gestures to the TNT. "Zombies first, please."

That almost makes her laugh. Cleo pulls out her bow, lights the arrow, and draws. 

Everything, predictably, goes to shit. 

The explosion rocks the cave, but the King isn't dead. It is, however, very upset. The cave erupts into chaos as locusts take flight. 

"Go, go, go!" Cleo yells over the sound of wings. The crawl back up out of the hole is considerably faster than when they came down. Cleo fires a rocket as soon as she's clear of the hole with Joe right on her heels and the swarm on his. 

"Joe, I think we might be in a bit of trouble," Cleo yells back to him. 

"I am very aware of that situation! Follow me, I've got an idea."

Cleo turned to follow him. Probably not the best idea, given that the last idea he'd had got them chased by a swarm of locusts, but seeing as there weren't many options, well. Joe dips down the side of a mountain and turns sharply, disappearing below the treeline. Cleo follows best she can. Joe's hand is on hers the second she lands and he pulls her through the trees until she's pulled into a dark cave. Joe turns on his heel and piles stone up at the entrance until they're bathed in darkness. 

Cleo pulls out a torch and lights it to see . . . a bed? There's a bed. And a chest. And unlit torches. Altogether it looks like a very small bedroom. 

"Welcome, Cleo! Don't mind me, cowering as I always do in the Just In Case Exclusive Emergency Bunker number seven." he says with a flourish, grinning like a madman. He drops his hands and says "I might have to work on that acronym."

"You have seven of these?" Cleo gapes. 

"I have ten," Joe says, "this is just the seventh one. It does pay to be prepared for every situation. Oh, I should start a service for that, maybe like 'Hermit Hidey Holes' or something. It's like camping, but sudden!"

"Joe."

"Oh, pardon my manners, I'm a terrible host. Do you want some snacks?" He opens the chest to reveal it's packed to the brim with foodstuffs. Cleo doesn't even know what to say. It feels like a really, really weird dream. She picks up some jerky and a few cookies. 

"Are you alright?" she reaches out to touch the back of her hand to his head. "You haven't fallen recently, have you?" 

"I mean I fell off a tree yesterday. Though with the respawning thing I doubt that's an issue. Why? Do I look like it? " 

"Being prepared is very out of the ordinary for you."

"I'm going to try not to take offense at that." He snags an armful of snacks and plops down onto the bed. Cleo joins him. 

She's halfway through a cookie when she looks over to him, a thought occurring to her. "Are you really claustrophobic?" 

"Nah," he says around a mouthful of pie, "Just thought that would make you feel better if you heard I was terrified."

She laughs a little. "That's very thoughtful of you. So . . . What are we doing about the bugs?" 

"That," Joe says crawling up onto the mattress and curling into the mountain of pillows with a breathless, nervous laugh, "can be a great problem for someone else to solve. I'm going to bed."

[a-smol-storm-gt-nomfs-blog]

Into the snake pit hc g/t

Trigger warning for Vore and mentions of hard gorey imagery (nothing of that scale happens) if theres a <em> </em> ignore it, they will make more sense on my Ao3 Cleo had messaged Grian about half an hour ago to meet here. For what? Well he wasn’t 100% sure yet. When he had asked Cleo what it was about all Grian got back was, <em>ZombieCleo: It’s a little hard to explain over messaging, meet me at the cords and I will show you. It’s much easier to explain that way.</em> Grian re-read the message a few times. It was possible she was running late, after all Hermits do tend to even if they don’t mean to. The builder decided to directly message Cleo just in case. <em>Grian: I’m at the spot, I was just wondering if you were running late? If so that's fine I just wanted to make sure you knew.</em> After typing it out he sighed and sat his back against a tree. He couldn’t shake off the feeling someone was watching him. “Hello?” Grian called out, turning around squinting into the dark forest. It’s possible there's an animal or monster around that’s just passing through but Grian wasn't so sure. His feathers puffed up as he slowly stood up looking around the dark short trees surrounding him. It’s not like the avain could just take off. The trees were short and dense, the one downside to the forest they decided to meet in. He had no room to flee, and man did it make him paranoid. His movements were halted as something squeezed his waist. He quickly turned, a clawed arm raised, ready to slash but he halted when he saw Cleo who just blinked a few times at the nearly heart attack given birdman. “Woah okay calm down G.” She said, her voice’s tone had some shock to it but not much. Grian’s eyes looked at the snake tail that wrapped itself around his waist. The builder's eyes followed it and watched as it slowly mixed with the giant woman that was behind him. “Oh wait- oh.” Grian says as it loosened falling to the ground. He held his face in his hands slightly embarrassed. Cleo laughed behind him as she made a couple circles around the two of them with her tail. “Well I did try and scare you but man, that was-” She laughed, cutting herself off. “You should have seen your face.” The naga laughed, clutching her stomach as she tried to breathe. Grian growled a little hating that he did absolutely fall for it. “Well you called me here for something? Also how long have you been a naga?” He asked as Cleo’s snickering silenced. “Well, this is something I wanted to show you.” She points to her snake body. “And for how long, well since I was born.” “So you just hid it?” Grian asked, hoping he wasn't pushing his limit with the giant snake lady. “Yea, well you hid your wings for a while too didn’t you?” She responded pointing at the scarlet macaw wings that were tucked to his back. Grian turned around to look at them moving them uncomfortably. “All I did was shift them into legs, X helped me with that.” She said, shaking the end of her tail a little. Her eyes looked at it with a soft lovingness. “That’s neat.” Grian said before asking, “So what exactly did you want me to do?” “Hmm, well mostly just sit still.” Cleo said, confusing Grian, but before he could ask what she meant the naga continued. “I’ve never eaten anything larger than a pig, so I wanted to try something bigger.” Grian’s eyes widened and he started backing up towards the direction he came from with his hands out in front of him as if that would somehow stop the giant snake from coming closer. He froze when he backed into the tail that surrounded the two. “Well have you tried it with Bdubs yet?” Grian asked, trying to shake off what he knew would probably be a death. Sure he knew nagas also have storage stomachs, but this wasn’t Mumbo, this was Cleo and Grian knew she was unpredictable to say the least. “Why would I do that?” She asked, most definitely hooked onto his fear. “He hasn’t done anything to bother me, on the other hand-” Her tail shot up, pushing Grian towards her as Cleo’s hand slid beneath his chin. “you have.” The avian’s stomach dropped, his heart thudded against his ribs so hard Grian thought it might just burst. Cleo’s smile grew, she could feel his pulse speed up as the naga’s fingers traced her prey’s neck. Grian had to fight back a purr that wanted to escape his throat. He felt numb, He stood there for a few minutes unable to move his eyes from the snakes’. His arm shot up pushing the clawed fingers away from his throat scratching his chin some, but the adrenaline kept him from entirely realizing it. Cleo let out a pissed hiss as Grian’s talons scratched at her, not aiming to hit, just to scare. When he had enough space to use his wings he turned around and with a small push used them to jump over the taller snake's tail. “Hey!!!” Cleo yelled after the running avain. Grian’s talons sliced through the dirt as he pushed hard against the ground. One large and helpful difference between the two was their bodies. Grian was light and with his wings giving a good push he could keep himself far ahead of the naga. In fact she was nowhere in sight but that doesn't mean Grian was going to slow down. So he pushed onwards until it became hard to breathe. When he started to slow down he then started to realize she had set him up back there. He still wasn’t in the clear, but it made sense. The thick foliage was still stuck over his head. He was quiet with his movements, they were still fast, but Grian avoided any sticks or leaf litter that could give him away. If given the chance he would pick up a stick and toss it far into another direction hoping that if the naga did manage to catch up it would head towards the noise and not him. He kept looking around, never really feeling completely free, or away. When he hit about mid way through the forest he turned towards the trees planting fake tracks before doing “tree hopping.” Most avians don’t do this after they get their wings, but as a kid you learned to do this so predators couldn’t find you. Grian now knows it was a bs way to try and give him and some of the other kids false hope, but they didn’t know that at the time. His heart stung a little as he remembered trying to teach his non-avian friends about it, but their feet just weren't good at gripping, and were much too heavy for some of the branches. Eventually the trees started to lower again and made it hard to hop at his size. Grian gently fell to the ground and started walking again. He continued like that for a while. His paranoia was leaving him, but so was his adrenaline he could feel the small scratch on his chin but it barely bothered him. 

Squinting his eyes off into the distance he sees the forest floor covered in sunlight. “Thank god.” He whispered aloud, his walking sped up as he approached the light. He felt something wrap around his arms but before he could tell what he was lifted off the ground. Looking up he saw a familiar tail and past that was a pair of reflective snake eyes. Grian struggled as he watched the snake body slither out of the tree. “You really thought I was going to let you get away.” She laughed. The avian didn’t look at Cleo as she shimmied onto the ground. “You're a funny little bird.” “You know running like that really worked up my appetite.” Grian looked over to the nagas face, he wanted to cry, but tried to keep it in as long as he could. Instead he bared his sharp fangs at Cleo as if it would do anything. “Ah so feisty aren't we.” Her slightly forked tongue slid out the nagas mouth teasingly before she took a breath in through her nose. “Mmm, such a pleasant smell.” Cleo adored the way Grian tried to hold back his fear. The avain wasn’t prepared as Cleo pushed her head right into the builders neck taking a deep inhale. She didn’t lie when she said he smelled amazing. Maybe she's just been around Joe so long that the sweet smell of someone else would be this great. Cleo couldn't help it though, Grian was also very easy to scare, she loved it. The snake backed away as something smacked her side. Looking over she saw the avain’s wings fall back behind him. She didn’t drop him though. Grian was beyond scared by now, tears formed at the edges of his eyes, his feathers stuck up and out like crazy and his chest was puffed in an attempt to make himself look bigger. “Hmmm.” She hummed, her smile growing and she let out a little chuckle. “Little G thinks he can scare a snake huh?” Her voice called teasingly while clawed fingers pressed at his side, unintentionally tickling him. Grian didn’t laugh though, but he did start to deflate some. His heart still beat a hundred miles an hour but his breath turned to panting. The avian blinked the tears from his eyes and watched as the snake went around him in circles trying to get a good visual on him. His wings were definitely well kept, and his smell was so addicting. Cleo had no idea how Mumbo and Impulse kept their cool around him. As she finished her circle Grian attempted to get out again. Using his wings he pushed and his talons lunged at the snake who dodged it and moved backwards to avoid being hit. “You just NEVER STOP, do you?” She snarled at him, Gian just stared back blankly. Cleo wasn’t going to get anything else out of him. He had either accepted it, or was just plain pissed. Either way she was feeling pretty empty, she had eaten before as she never planned on actually eating Grian. Though It still would be fun. Grian had stopped swinging his feet after she backed up so now she started to shift again. Life returned to Grian’s eyes in shock as the top half of Cleo’s body changed becoming scales and ended in a snake head. A forked tongue moved in and out of her mouth as the builder took it all in. Cleo tilted her head, then smiled, her mouth opened a sliver holding that same smile as she showed off her fangs. “Now these are what you call teeth my dear.” Her voice seemed slightly echoey. The avian again had no reaction and instead his head faced the ground, causing the snake to let out a disappointed hum. “Guess I’ll just get it over then if you’re so impatient.” Cleo hissed, saying the last word strongly. Grain's eyes left the ground as her jaws split open and charged at him. The avian was quick though, he used his wings to thrust his body forwards and then grabbed the jaws of the snake with his talons and stopped them open. Cleo was a little shocked but it died quickly, a look into his eyes showed no spark of confidence, just a serious and angry look derived from the fear he had expressed before. Cleo smiled, “This is interesting.” Grian had been known to be one of the few players to have a Dream body count, she could see why now. She pulled her head back with a crazed smile on her face. She laughed a little while the avain’s gaze grew more intense. His eyes quickly moved back to fear as he looked over his shoulder and saw more of the snake's tail coil around his body stopping all attempts to get out. His eyes flickered back to the snake, all the cold anger seemed to drain about as fast as it came. Grian still bared his teeth though, but he knew deep down, it was over for him. Cleo’s mouth sprang wide again and Grian was lifted, his feet dangling over the saliva coated jaws. He moved his legs as much as he could but it was no use. The snake took her sweet time placing him in salivating at the burst of flavor that hit her mouth. Drool slid down Cleo’s mouth and she wasn't afraid to show it. Slowly she uncoiled her tail from Grian’s legs and lifted it from her mouth. Soon after more of the birdman was lowered in. Cleo let out a long pleased hum, honestly she was upset with herself that she hadn't tried this before. As for Grian he gave up struggling, tears slid down his face as he cried silently. A thought hit him, sure it’s secluded but you never know when a hermit was flying over, maybe Grian could get some help. His pride would take a massive hit from it, but he’d rather that than being swallowed again. “HELP!!” Grian screamed from the top of his lungs, which were rather large. The scream seemed to startle the snake a little, as Cleo’s eyes widened. She took a quick glance around, or at least as much as she could with half of the avain’s legs in her mouth. After seeing no one around, the snake pushed down onto Grian’s legs a little, making him grunt. Because her mouth was full she glared at him in warning. Grian of course gave no response, he just painted and tried to move his legs a little to push the snake's jaws open again. Cleo seemed to sense this and her tail unwrapped around more of Grian’s legs as her mouth shot forwards, sucking the whole of legs and some of his lower belly into her mouth. The avain could feel the throat sucking at his talons and feet. It was definitely bigger than Mumbo’s, but it didn’t make him feel any better. More tail untwined and not much later he felt the first swallow. The coiled tail pulled at him as Cleo swallowed, making him let out an airy pained gasp. The snake saw it and her grip loosened slightly. Grian to say the least looked defeated, he was tired, and injured. He was now just hoping Cleo would make it quick, but guessing by all the sucking and drool it wasn’t going to speed up any time soon. Cleo’s tail became even looser, The builder didn’t even try and struggle as the snake took a strong gulp pushing half of his chest into her mouth. Grian could feel her breath go up his shirt making him shiver a little. The snake sucked for a little longer letting the saliva coat more of his body making the descent easier for the both of them. Then another strong swallow brought the builder’s head to the snake's lips. The tail untwined from his body leaving only his arms left in the tail. Cleo was smart and by now guessed if she freed his arm’s Grian might make another attempt at escape. With the avain’s wings covered in spit though, it made escape near impossible. Cleo hummed giving the builder a small heads up as the snake opened her jaws, she kept them open giving Grian a good view of his body as she swallowed. Grian got sucked in as it pulled him quickly down past the fangs, the top half of his chest was sticking out of the throat and Grian watched as the setting sun’s light mostly disappeared as his arms were freed. The avain tried his best to rub his sore wrists but when Cleo sensed movements she gave a light bite making the builder curl up a little, groaning in pain while his head touched the damp hard palate. The snake must have realized this and her jaws parted and her tongue came out gently rubbing his wrists, thankfully it didn’t seem for playful or bad intent, just to make Grian feel a little better. “Thanks Cleo.” He said, now it felt nowhere near as intense as before. The snake let out her best ‘you’re welcome’ trying not to bite down on the arms that stuck out of her mouth. They both sat catching their breath for a little, Grian’s heart slowed down. Don’t get him wrong he was still scared, but Cleo wasn’t trying to hurt him, meaning she was most likely not to actually eat him. So this really was just a swallow size test like the snake mentioned earlier.  “Ready?” she asked, Grian wanted to feel angry, but she had been gentle when swallowing and was most likely giving him a honest chance to back out. “Honestly no, but are you really giving me a choice?” Grian asked, making them both chuckle a little. “No.~” She said in a sassy yet playful tone. “Alright you oversized snake get it over with before I change my mind and my talons go through your neck.” Grian said in his most threatening, yet tired voice. “Tired?” Cleo asked, her tongue tickling the builder's chin and making him bite back another grunt as she hit his scratches. “Yea, oh wait crap.” He lifted his head up to quickly accidentally hitting the roof of Cleo’s mouth making them both grunt. “Sorry, I just remembered, I was in such a hurry to get here I promised Mumbo I’d help him out in a couple hours.” Grian gently rubbed where he hit his head on the snake’s mouth. “Do you think you can let me out then?” “Mhm.” Cleo responded, Grian felt her throat move to start a swallow and he held his breath then felt as it tugged him down. The tip of his head remained out of the snake's throat, but Cleo was quicker now that he was in it. She quickly swallowed again, shoving him down so now only Gian’s fingers gently felt at the edge of the mouth and opening of the throat. Cleo stopped to make a comment. “I can see why they call you Grain.” She chuckled, causing the avain’s face to get squished repeatedly until he pulled his arms down to keep his head from hitting her throat. “Seriously though dude, you are mouthwatering.” Cleo told him, Grains panic began to rise again and his heart raced. This caused Grian to kick out a little instinctually. He felt something pushed against his back, probably her tail and he hoped he didn’t scratch her. He still pushed against the throat as it tried to squash his face. Cleo swallowed again forcing the avian’s arms against his face, but he preferred that over the slimy walls. He couldn’t tell if the snake’s swallows were getting more gentle, or maybe the Avain was just that big to her. All he really could tell is it would be a while before he got anywhere out of Cleo’s gullet. She swallowed again, and nearly as soon as he stopped she did it again. When Cleo stopped to take a breath, Grian managed to ask, “How much more do I have to go?” The snake let out a hum in thought. “Maybe 5 or 6 more, why?” She was smiling no doubt about that. “Because this is getting very old-” He stopped as he shifted to get more comfortable, “very quickly.” He finished. Cleo laughed at that nudging at his back once more, in return he pushed against the wall with his shoulders. He was stopped though as he was compressed once again and there was another swallow. “This is going to be just as horrible the other way isn’t it?” The snake laughed again, stopping mid swallow. “Yea it probably is.” She said, still snickering a little. Grian let out an annoyed ugg witch the giant snake seemed to hear as she laughed a little more before continuing to swallow. Cleo now started to drop the more gentle swallows for some more force hoping to send the avain down faster. It seemed to have worked though as the builder seemed to slide the farthest he had yet. Cleo also sped up again, one after the other, then the final one. Grian was pushed into a more open area. He laid there, it wasn’t as open or nearly as big as Mumo’s storage, but at least he had some more space. The snake’s body began to move, possibly back up into the trees as Grian could feel himself being lifted off the ground. The avain did his best to stay still during the whole thing and when Cleo finally stopped moving he could feel his body being hung between two branches. “Are you alright in there?” She asked softly, while gently nudging at the slight bulge with her nose. Grian let an annoyed huff exit his nose before answering. “Physically? Yes I think so, emotionally? No, not at all.” He answered honestly, this caused Cleo to gently wrap her tail around him, giving him a sort of hug. “It was fun to scare you though.” She said in a sorry not sorry like tone. This made the avain kick at the fleshy walls a little bit, and in response Cleo squished Grian a little startling him. The builder flipped around onto his side, he hated the mix of the dark and the wet squishy walls that surrounded him. He thought about HIM, how did it feel when- “Grian? G?” Cleo’s frantic worried voice sounded like an alarm. “Hmm?” The avian asked confused, he could tell the snake was actually concerned. “You- you’re crying Grian.” The snake said, only then did Grian start to feel the salty tears that flowed down his face. “O-oh I am, aren't I?” He asked sniffling a little, “S-sorry.” “I- Grian It’s alright. I should be the one apologizing, I didn’t think I scared you that bad.” Grian shook his head, he could feel his hair trace the roof of the stomach. “It’s not you, at least not completely. It’s uh s-something else.” Grian said cryptically, curiosity did kill the cat though and even if Cleo was a snake, what was really stopping her from asking. “Want to talk about it?” She asked the smaller hermit she was currently hugging. “Not really no.” He said and although she really wanted to ask she stopped herself. Grian yawned, making the snake chuckle. “Awww am I that comfortable?” Cleo teased, her hug stopping as she gently rubbed her tail against the slight bulge. “Mmm shush.” Grian responded, giving a gentle push against the fleshy wall. He then remembered how it felt when Mumbo rubbed his crop, it was surely going to get a reaction out of Cleo. So Grian did that, rubbing the safe stomach’s walls he can tell Cleo was trying her best not to let out a pleasured hiss. “Come on, you know you want to.” Grian teased, he was damn right too, honestly it shocked the snake a little how even when the man was captured he found a way to mess with people. “Sc-crew off Grian.” The giant hissed at him holding her breath and puffing out her cheeks. “Huh? Sorry what? I couldn't hear you all too well.” Grian sassed, smiling and laughing a little. The avain knew he won when a happy hiss escaped the snake's lips, Cleo squished him again but it didn’t stop him from continuing. It went on until Grian yawned again. “You want to sleep?” Cleo asked with a motherly softness in her voice. “I- yea, could you remember to wake me up in an hour?” Grian asked, his voice was much softer, but the snake could still hear it. “I can try.” Cleo responds softly like Grian, who could feel as she laid her head over the small bulge he made. This made the avian push at her very weakly before yawning again. He snuggled his face in his arms and curled his legs closer to him, passing out very swiftly. Grian could hear voices yelling and something pushed against him. It was wet and warm, but suddenly there was cold and wind. He curled up tighter, shivering, then he fell for a split second onto something much warmer. His eyes never opened. He was too tired but he felt something warm and dry that slightly curled around him and so he reached for it. He pulled it towards him, it was a little hard but he managed to pull it over him and he snuggled closer feeling his shivering lessen some. Grian must have passed out and he woke up at his house, he was on his bed with a blanket half on him. Mumbo was passed out on his desk and when he moved his leg a little he felt warm fur. Pushing himself up there was Jelly curled around Scar. Grian quietly and slowly sat up trying not to wake either of them as he put his feet over the edge of the bed. As soon as he did, his communicator went off. <em>ZombieCleo: I’m sorry about yesterday, X told me about the farm I didn’t realize.” Grian: how much did he tell you about it? He messaged back and panicked. ZombieCleo: Only that you were raised in one called Evo. Grian: Did you tell anyone else? ZombieCleo: Joe, why? Grian: Has he told anyone else? ZombieCleo: I’ll ask.</em> A few minutes passed and she answered, Grian had been changing his clothes while he heard the dig sound.

Picking it back up he saw Cleo’s answer/ <em>Cleo: No he hadn’t why?</em> Grian sighed before answering, <em>Grian: Sorry, sorry I just, I don’t want people to know, especially Mumbo. Cleo: Okay, I won't say anything and I’ll tell Joe too. Grian:Thanks Cleo. Cleo: Did they tell you? Grian: Tell me what? Cleo: Oh, I thought Mumbo or Scar would have. Grian: They aren't awake, why did something happen? Cleo: Yeah kinda, Mumbo and Scar came looking for you because I fell asleep by accident. Grian: Oh Cleo: Mumbo assumed the worst apparently Grian: What do you mean by that? Cleo: He thought I actually ate you, and ended up threatening to cut me open. Grian: I- he did WHAT!? Cleo: Yeah, He even grew just so he could pin me down.</em>

Grian froze for a little, his breathing sped up, of course Grian was scared of that whole situation, but Cleo made it obvious she wasn't going to hurt him. The thing that scared him more was Mumbo’s size growth, he still wasn’t over that. <em>Grian: You’re okay right? Cleo: Yeah, I spit you up and we went our separate ways. Also I don’t blame him, please don’t yell at him, he was worried, I would feel bad if that happened. Grian: Alright, thanks Cleo, sorry about Mumbo. Cleo: Ehhh its okay, stay safe G Grian: Yea you too. </em> Grian lifted his head to look at the passed out shifter on his desk, he could feel the feathers on his back rise for the first time in a few weeks. @noireovertures you did this to me *shakes* <3

[medusasstory]

3rd Life Quotes Week 5: The Week Of Retribution

Grian: Are you siding with them now?

Etho: I kinda go wherever the chaos is.

InTheLittleWood: We can make some chaos. 

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Bdubs: I hate that this has to happen. I hate it. But unfortunately, justice must be served. 

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Etho: Tango, this isn’t punishment, it’s a mini-game.

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Grian: Just give him the banner, it’s not worth it. We have banner at home. 

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Tangotek: Explain to me how I survive this. I’d like to know. Is this a firing squad?

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Tangotek: Didn’t expect to die today, did you?

Etho: I was really enjoying it when you were dying, but then it turned to me. 

TangoTek: He didn’t tell you he was gonna do that, he just surprised you, didn’t he.

Etho: Noooo.

TangoTek: That was great, that was great.

Etho: I probably could have gotten out of it, but I succumbed to the peer pressure. 

TangoTek: The law is the law, you know. 

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TangoTek: I love your—all your PvP tactics, it never comes down to just swords with you. You always have a trick. You always have a trick up the sleeve. And that’s what makes you dangerous. 

Etho: You gotta make it fun, you know. 

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TangoTek: I’ve seen this clock before, what’s it called?”

Etho: It’s a hopper clock.

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Bdubs: What I need is two good friends and a really good shot. Would you be willing to come and lay down this justice over at the crastle?

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Impulse: Whoops

Skizzleman: You know what that means? I can go ahead and attack you! And die two minutes later. 

Impulse: Yeah I’m pretty stacked right now. 

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Etho: I’ve been meaning to talk to you actually.

Skizzleman: What’s up, Buddy?

Etho: Do you need a legal representative? Cause you might need a will.

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Skizzleman: *throws a flower* Is that valuable to you?

Impulse: It is now, I can go pay respects to Bdubs. 

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Grian: So i just want to remind you that we’re not the most popular kids in town. Cause we got a triple kill last session. 

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Grian: I’m not sure if that plan is going to work any more?

GoodTimesWithScar: We go all out and just straight to murder.

Grian: Okay, you’re the boss.

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GoodTimesWithScar: *seeing a house fire* I’ve got water, guys! I’ve got water, and if anyone needs to die, I’m open.

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GoodTimesWithScar: Just think about this. Your loved ones will be able to come and see you in dignity, instead of just lying on the ground like this. Ehhhhhhhhhhhh.

ZombieCleo: I don’t really have a lot of dignity, it’s not really my watchword. 

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Bdubs: Take the diamond. Take it. Cleo, they’re too kind. 

ZombieCleo: They are too kind.

Bdubs: Free bubble elevator?

GoodTimesWithScar: Remember us in your time of need.

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GoodTimesWithScar: Are you building ancient ruins?

Etho: I’m just building—I’m gonna show them a wall. It’s a double-wide wall. These are very special to me. 

GoodTimesWithScar: Everybody, come gather up here.

Etho: Get some light. And then you get some water. This is to make it difficult to pass by the wall. 

Bdubs: This is a TNT cannon. 

GoodTimesWithScar: This is a water slide!

Etho: No no no. 

ZombieCleo: That’s exactly what this is. 

Bdubs: This is the start of a TNT cannon, I’m a red stone genius. 

Etho: It’s a wall. 

GoodTimesWithScar: You guys have no imagination, I’ll tell you that. 

Etho: It’s a redstone-controlled wall. 

Bdubs: THIS IS A TNT CANNON. 

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Etho: Woah, okay, you got fireworks. 

ZombieCleo: Yeah, we got fireworks. 

Etho: Ahhh. Okay, I’m gonna—

ZombieCleo: Do you want to take your “wall” with you?

Etho: Do you not like my wall?

ZombieCleo: No, well, it’s a lovely wall. I’d just prefer it was built in front of wherever Scar’s base is. 

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Bdubs: No matter what happens, I’m not moving. 

Etho: If this was a TnT cannon, you’d gets some slabs or something,  maybe a ladder over here—

Bdubs: You watched my tutorial, I see. 

Etho: And then like this—

Creeper: *explodes directly behind Bdubs*

Bdubs: AUgh!

Etho: Something like that, y’know?

Bdubs: Was that it—was that the cannon?

ZombieCleo: *laughing* No.

Bdubs: Dude, that is amazing. You need to do a tutorial on that.

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GoodTimesWithScar: I don’t know how it happened, but I think I burnt the flint and steel but not the banner.

Grian: Okay, good job I carry a stack.

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SmallishBeans: Welcome back to 3rd Life, where we have been to the hairdressers, and we now have a yellow streak through our hair. Which has been pointed out to me, kinda looks like someone has peed in my hair. So hopefully we’ll move on to red soon, as I think that’ll look a lot more menacing. 

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SmallishBeans: Alright, I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of death, and I love death. So let’s head back to the surface. 

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SmallishBeans: I feel like I might be pledging allegiance to too many people at this point, but I don’t care. I’m just not gonna tell any of them. I’m kinda on good terms with Scar, and Ren. So I can just choose who I’m gonna betray. It’s awesome. Who should I betray? Them all! *laughs*

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Skizzleman: I almost did it cause I love to take risks like that. I’m an idiot. 

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InTheLittleWood: The crastle hermits attacked one of our own by burning Joel’s roof and in turn his body. 

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Grian: Skizzleman, you don’t want your series to end early. We’ve got netherite swords. 

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Grian: Dude. Scar does not listen to me. 

Skizzleman: Try. Try it one time. 

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RenDog: That is a declaration of war. So. I hope you’re happy with yourselves. We will be seeing you very soon. And you better be ready to fight, cause it’s going down. Mmmkay?

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Grian: <Scar come home>

Skizzleman: <We’ll bring him home in a box>

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RenDog: Unfortunately, that is a declaration of war. We’re locked in, dudes. 

InTheLittleWood: We’ve fought together, we’ll thrive together. 

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Skizzleman: ‘You hit pizza’ says Grian. What do you think we’re aiming for, homie?!

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RenDog: The banner is up and flying. Red Winter is here my friends, and we are going till the end. 

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SolidarityGaming: Does this mean all the red names are gonna come together? And we’re all gonna be chill? Y’know? All gonna be good? Gonna go on a killing spree?

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Smajor: You’re scary now that you’re red. 

RenDog: I am red indeed. 

Smajor: I have my own red! No Jimmy, don’t go near him, don’t go near him. 

SolidarityGaming: I’m stickin’ up for you!

InTheLittleWood: My red could beat up your red any day. 

SolidarityGaming: No, but, but. 

Smajor: My red could beat up your red? You probably can. But my red’s—here. 

SolidarityGaming: Say something good about me!

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Smajor: Is he a pirate?

InTheLittleWood: Don’t even worry about it. Little bit of pirate, game of thrones, Scottish...

RenDog: We’re having a little bit of trouble with the accent. 

InTheLittleWood: We?! Oui? Apparently I’m stuck in French. 

Rendog: Well, me. Me in particular. Anyways. 

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RenDog: Okay guys, I came in a bit hot. I’m a bit flustered. I’m sorry. That felt a bit aggressive?

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SolidarityGaming: I know whats gonna happen here, alright? We’re gonna end up partnering up with them, you’re gonna end up on the alter, I’m gonna be looking you in the eyes, and they’re gonna sacrifice you. And I don’t want that, alright?

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SolidarityGaming: I’m gonna make a book, and you’re going in that book, alright? We’re gonna have our own altar, and Martyn, you’re going on it. 

Smajor: Jimmy can’t write. Jimmy can’t spell, don’t worry. 

InTheLittleWood: If Jimmy did make a book, it would be labeled ‘people can beat Jimmy at PVP’

SolidarityGaming: Scott’s gonna make a book, and he’s gonna write you in it. 

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SolidarityGaming: He was basically talking about you being a sacrifice. One of us being a sacrifice. 

Smajor: Yeah but Jimmy, I have prot. v, prot. iv, prot. iv. 

SolidarityGaming: It doesn’t matter! He was gonna put you on an altar! I guarantee, someone is gonna die on an altar. I guarantee it. 

Smajor. Okay. It’s not going to be me. 

SolidarityGaming: Sorry, I’m stressed. I’m flustered. 

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Grian: But they have an Etho. 

GoodTimesWithScar: Remember, we just flash some TNT and Etho will follow us. 

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GoodTimesWithScar: And we’re just here to chit-chat. And provide gifts. Didn’t expect the gift part, now did you. 

SolidarityGaming: *delighted* No I didn’t. I didn’t actually. 

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Grian: Scar, I’m surprised you’ve made any friends on this server, to be honest.

GoodTimesWithScar: I have a lot of friends. I know Etho in the end, he’s gonna support us. 

Grian: Scar, remember, the second I lose this life, I’m out. You know that, right?

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Smajor: You’re both still our allies, even if you’re not together. It can be an amicable breakup. 

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Smajor: I feel like yes, he’s betrayed everyone else he’s been friends with, but at the same time, we’ve actually given him useful things. 

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InTheLittleWood: How are you feeling? Do you feel refreshed after the smitherines that was you last week?

RenDog: Let me tell you something Martyn. I got revenge in my veins today. I’ve been thinking about it all week. 

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RenDog: Essentially, don’t be too nervous, it’s basically just a causal test of loyalty, that’s it. 

InTheLittleWood: Sure. 

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InTheLittleWood: What’s death like? I never asked, the first time. 

RenDog: It’s a little bit moist, to be honest. 

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InTheLittleWood: You’re a cruel one, my lord. Funny but cruel. 

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InTheLittleWood: I won’t do it! You took me in when I was a lowly traveller, goin’ across the lands, searchin’ the four corners of this world. I learned that there was nothing in this world for me. Nothing but walls, corners, edges. And you know what? You showed me life. As much as I’ve taken it from you, you gave it back to me in bucket fulls. and I just- I’m with you. This is us now. This is us.

RenDog: It’s ye and me till the end, Hand. 

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InTheLittleWood: I’ve gotta come clean now, because you’ve basically laid yourself out, and been so vulnerable, and trusted in me.

RenDog: I stood naked before you, dude! You saw all me bits!

InTheLittleWood: I did! They were grey and long and I’ll be honest, they look strong! I’m only saying that cause it rhymed. 

Rendog: Well thank you. Ladies, gentlemen, everybody in between, get in line, do you know what I’m sayin. 

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Skizzleman: Martyn I’m sorry, I just, I got alarmed there. 

InTheLittleWood: You judged me before you even knew me. 

Skizzleman: Well, you murdered somebody. And you set me on fire, don’t forget. 

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InTheLittleWood: You mind how you speak to my liege!

SmallishBeans: Oh you shut up. 

InTheLittleWood: Okay. 

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InTheLittleWood: Is someone shooting fireworks?

RenDog: It’s Cleo. Cleo’s got some sort of crazy crossbow of doom

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InTheLittleWood: That’s one person from the list who’s managed to die now. What happens with the list, boss? Is it a case of, when somebody dies they come off the list, and then they go back on with y’know, good reason? Or what?

RenDog: The Black Book. If you’re in the Black Book it means it’s the end of 3rd Life for you. 

InTheLittleWood: Oh wow, this is all the way. Also, it looks like someone is sneaking into Renchanting. 

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GoodTimesWithScar: Etho, Etho, this is a betrayal, by the way. 

Etho: Yeah, I know. You should give the banner back. 

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Etho: Don’t water board him!

InTheLittleWood: If he doesn’t give back the banner, that’s gotta be the way it goes. 

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Grian: Things could start to get a little bit dangerous, I think Scar needs to put his clothes back on again. How—this series is 50% people dying by accident, and 50% ‘Scar put your clothes back on’. 

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GoodTimesWithScar: Do you want me to try to get them out?

Grian: Yes. Use Etho. 

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Bdubs: Wait a second. Water elevator? Pufferfish? 

Grian: Yeah look, it didn’t go to plan. 

Bdubs: I’m starting to put the pieces together.

ZombieCleo: Are you really just starting to put the pieces together, Bdubs?

Bdubs: I finally figured it out!

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Bdubs: Cleo, he’s trying to take our diamonds! Scar, try out this elevator. 

ZombieCleo: Oh no, not our diamond, that is so rare.

GoodTimesWithScar: I’ll meet you up, Bdubs. I’ll race you to the top.

Bdubs: There’s lava here!

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Grian: Success. Absolute success. Well, kind of. It was messy, it didn’t work the first time around. Like I said, all my traps work the second time round. 

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Grian: Look, okay, hear me out. This is how it breaks down with you. I’m Grian, you’re Etho. I’m trying to convince you to join me. You have to choose the one that you think Etho would choose. Hey Etho! Do you hate me, Etho?

GoodTimesWithScar: *Nods*

Grian: You do Etho? 

GoodTimesWithScar: *places TNT*

Grian: No! No Etho! Bad! 

GoodTimesWithScar: Okay, is that Etho?

Grian: I got a proposition for you Etho, right? I will give you a piece of paper, and a horse armour, huh? And in exchange you do what I want. That’s option one. 

GoodTimesWithScar: Welch, I apologize to say this, but no. That was my Canadian accent. Okay, for realisies? TNT again. *places TNT*

Grian: No, no. Number two, option number two—why don’t you help me blow something up?

GoodTimesWithScar: *gasps* I’m so down. 

Grian: You see? That’s how it works. That’s how it works with Etho. He doesn’t like horse armour. 

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Grian: *in a whisper* Don’t trust him. He has betrayed everyone we’ve been friends with. Just, be careful. 

Smajor: We will.

SolidarityGaming: But he said we warmed his heart. 

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Grian: Scar, why have you done this!?

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GoodTimesWithScar: Grian? I think I need to go kill one of them. They’re not good people. They killed Pizza. I’m actually slightly in shock right now, that they killed Pizza. 

Grian: *stammering*

GoodTimesWithScar: I don’t even know what to think.

Grian: I told you, they were aiming for Pizza. 

GoodTimesWithScar: They could have aimed at me all they wanted, but Pizza was an innocent animal—I wanna go out. I wanna kill them. 

Grian: Scar, no. Next session, they’re leaving. Scar, you can’t win 4v1, and I can’t help you in a PvP fight. *pause* We could set Etho’s castle on fire. GoodTimesWithScar: There we go. 

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Smajor: Where there’s a me there’s a way.

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Smajor: Wait, Tango was shot by Impulse? What? I don’t know what happened there, but that seems spicy. 

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Smajor: Etho was shot by Tango? I don’t know if I want to go over here. Seems like some cult stuff.

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Smajor: I was wondering, seeing as you decided to spit in the face of Dogwarts, if we wanted to get an alliance with different folk. 

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Smajor: Well that was another episode of 3rd life. We got ourselves some really good armour, which is useful, because we also got ourselves some enemies.

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Etho: You’re gonna turn on one of your Crastle people, just like that?

Bdubs: Hey! Hey. This is justice. This is justice. I still love him. But doesn’t mean I can’t punish him. 

ZombieCleo: This is all Bdubs, at this point.

Etho: You’re Lawful Bad?

Bdubs: Is that what it is? Okay. 

Impulse: Tough love is what it is, that’s all.

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TangoTek: I can wear my armour?

Bdubs: You can wear one piece of armour, and it has to be the filthy helmet that you wore last episode.

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Bdubs: The whole thing was a plan to get Etho. We had to get Tango first. 

ZombieCleo: Did Tango know about the plan?

Bdubs: He knows—He didn’t know. But he’ll know—

ZombieCleo: He knows now.

Bdubs: He knows now, yeah. 

__

ZombieCleo: I still need to burn down Joel’s house. 

Bdubs: Right. Of course. That should be on the list. But why, though?

__

GoodTimesWithScar: Someday, death will come. And do you want to be one of these fools, just dead on the ground, just lying on the ground looking straight up like a fool—or do you want to go to the afterlife in Style?

Bdubs: I mean, style. Style is nice. *pause* Is this a threat? The whole thing feels like a threat. 

GoodTimesWithScar: Noooo, this is a happy thing. Look at this, look at this. Bdubs, this is the executive model of the coffins.

ZombieCleo: Bdubs, he’s putting you in a coffin right now. 

Bdubs: It’s fine, it’s fine, he can’t touch me. 

ZombieCleo: You say that, he’s red, he absolutely can touch you. 

__

ZombieCleo: *facing the fact that their base is on fire* It’s not worth your life, darlin’

Bdubs: *on four hearts, running into fire* But it has to be dark oak to match the rest of the floor, and we don’t have any more saplings. 

__

Bdubs: The second those fools came over here I was thinking to myself ‘just do it’. The bumblin’ fools were putzing around trying to kill me, and sure enough finally they did. But it wasn’t without a little help from me. I wanted it. I WANTED it! Finally I’m red! As a yellow, on my second life, I can’t do anything. But on my third life, now—I’m a weapon.

__

Etho: You executed him just so he would be a threat? 

RenDog: That’s right. 

InTheLittleWood: Literally, yeah. 

RenDog: So that one of us could be red, so that we could uh—

Etho: Wow.

InTheLittleWood: He created a weird altar and everything, it was a whole situation. 

Etho: That is a boss move, I’ve gotta say, Ren. 

[askzloyxp]

Got an anonymous ask saying “do you actually hate grian or just his awful fanbase lol”

Hoo boi, this is an interesting one. What are we, in highschool? “Do you hate Grian yes/no/maybe”?

Sigh. Guess, I really have been talking a lot of critcism towards Hermitcraft, but what people don’t seem to understand is that crticism does not equal negativity. Part of being a fan of media is to look at it with honesty, and praise what works in it, and see what doesn’t. Especially in online media, where the creators have an open line with the fans.

The role of criticism is to help make the next one better. It’s true with the mainstream media, it’s true with let’s plays. It’s a whole other deal when the criticism is just bad faith arguments mixed with slander, but I do believe this isn’t the case for someone who’s been praising Hermitcraft on a weekly basis for over three seasons now.

So do I hate Grian? - I physically can not. I don’t know the guy. We have no interpersonal relationship. We never exchanged a word. Pix did and he said it was lovely, so I’ll trust his judgement.

Do I hate Grian as an artist? - Hell no.

Grian’s videos are brilliant in more ways than I can count. In many ways Grian is the YouTube content I want to create myself: from s2 of Fullstack to current Truly Bedrock I’ve been trying to do the exact same thing with the skits, the roleplay and the giggles. I very much enjoy Grian’s videos, and especially his Hermitcraft series, I think it’s imaginative and clever.

So why then am I so negative towards him? - For one, I am not. To invite you for a moment behind the scenes, I am the one writing the Recap segments about him. Everything positive said in the recap are my words, with a little Pixlriffs wit sprinkled in. But our mind is structured in a way where we pay more attention to negativity, especially when it comes to a youtuber you are stanning for. So every joke and every clip of him I alter is resonating through our comment section with literal hundreds of voices. Even something as inconsequential as accidentally putting someone else’s nametag on a Grian clip can cause a giant uproar in the comments of the video (which doesn’t happen if I do that same mistake on say, ZombieCleo, btw).

So do I then hate Grian’s fanbase? After all, for over two years now they’ve been turning any Hermitcraft discussion into a Grian fanclub and their outcries are visibly affecting the Hermits’ creative output and flooding my own comments with unnecessary toxicity towards me Gang, I wouldn’t have them any other way. On a personal level I am a bit tired of seeing nothing but Grian stanning in the Hermitcraft spaces, but that’s a pretty minor inconvinience, and a very expected one: popular people are popular.

Back in s4 it was Mumbo stans. Then Iskall stans. Now we have a new golden boi, and stans are a bit louder, but otherwise it’s business as usual. And their hyper-defensiveness and downright gullability we’ve been using for the Recap’s benefit. It’s straight up fun to play with their expectations, even if sometimes it’s a bit too mean and blatant on my part (the nametag goof was the most fun I’ve had with comments in a long time lol).

But that too, really, is in the job description: one of the Recap’s mission statements is to bring more viewers to less known hermits. We don’t need to showcase Grian as hard as everyone else, because really, he already has more exposure than we could ever give him.

Hate is a strong word. I hate that iJevin is not at a million subscribers, cuz the fella wastes a ton of time per episode on grand timelapses only to get less love for it than a chicken who laid an egg (and it was funny).

Just because I complain about some people, doesn’t mean I want them out of the fanbase, and especially doesn’t mean I want them run over by a bus.