#they went from confused to anxious to extremely uncomfortable

[lilislegacy]

*on some quest, post heroes of olympus. idk probably some point while they’re in college*

annabeth: we should go to the base first, then to the ship

percy: no, we should go to the ship first, then to the base, then back to the ship

annabeth: um, no? that will take unnecessary time. we need to get supplies from the base to bring back to the ship

percy: yeah, but we should examine the ship and talk to the crew first to see if we need additional resources, because there’s a storm coming now. and if we do need stuff that we don't know about now and we do your idea, we'll have to go to the base, then the ship, then back to the base, then back to the ship.

annabeth: but i already know what we need, so you’re wrong

percy: no, you don’t, because you’re not a sea expert like me and the crew. so you’re wrong

annabeth, glaring at him:

percy, glaring right back:

annabeth, still glaring: i am so hot for you right now

[oneshotnewbie]

Part two of the new, usual oneshot, with Olivia Benson? It was soo good!!!

Authors note: Because I'm in a good mood today, here's a second oneshot for you. Have fun reading, my sweet ones ♥

ᕚ---ᕘ

“Could the CSU salvage anything else?” Olivia asked everyone around as she swiveled her head in all directions to look around. She was extremely afraid for you, concern written all over her face. Your phone was in her hand, but the blood could be from anyone in Manhattan. Maybe you lost it and someone who was bleeding tripped over it. At least that is what she tried to tell herself so as not to panic and get lost in it.

"No. Other than the cell phone and the blood, we have no clues about what really happened here yet," the blonde answered her immediately and delicately placed her hand on her best friend's shoulder. She tried to calm her down with circular movements, but secretly she knew that every muscle in the lieutenant's body would only relax when you were back safe. "When was this found and by whom?"

"The call came in at 4:36am from an William Jacobs. He has already been driven to the station and is waiting to give his statement." the brunette stood rooted to her spot, leaning against the railing of the Central Park and feeling the rain slowly creeping through her coat while her blouse slowly soaked.

Her gaze had shifted downwards, silent tears that mixed with the pelting rain running down her cheeks. In the blurry vision she saw black boots walking towards her and when she raised her head, Fin was standing right in front of her, holding an umbrella over her figure. They walked back to their car together. When they got there, Olivia fell into his arms and began to cling to him for support. She felt as if the ground beneath her feet was slipping away. "Where is she?"

"We will find out but first you have to calm down. You will not help anyone that way."

He watched as she nodded slightly, wiping away her tears and trying to put a soft smile on her lips that she only partially managed. She sucked in the cold air and took a seat of her black Volvo. Only when the seargent had sat in the passenger seat did she start the car, traffic moving slowly.

When they arrived, Olivia Benson walked briskly into the building, her brow furrowed as she nervously climbed the stairs. Their direct destination was the interrogation room where William Jacobs was taken. She noticed that Fin was following her, but she did not pay any attention to him, just wanted to find out as quickly as possible where her fiancée was.

As she entered the small, cold room where he sat, Olivia greeted him as warmly as she could. "Hello, I am Lieutenant Olivia Benson," she sat down across from him and opened a small notepad to write down whatever information she could. The brunette saw the man sitting there slightly anxious and uncomfortable, his eyes on the door when the door opened and someone walked in. "Seargent Fin Tutuola."

Annoyed, she rolled her eyes and tapped her fingernails impatiently on the table. This was not happening fast enough for her and she looked at her partner slightly angrily. "Mr. Jacobs, you found the cell phone this morning. Have you noticed anyone who may have been acting strangely?" he tried to control the conversation in order to take some of the burden off his boss's shoulders. "No, I was jogging when I saw the cell phone. When I went there, I saw all the blood."

“Then you called the police?” The brunette now also spoke up, letting her pen play between her fingers. She was hoping for some clue to start with, so far she had nothing except the difficult amount of blood that you could not have inflicted on yourself. "Yeah, I did not touch anything. I swear."

Both detectives nodded in agreement and quickly rose from their chairs. One after the other, they shook hands with William Jacobs before all three of them left the room together and went their separate ways.

The air was stuffy and burning as Amanda entered the precinct and looked confused at the closed door to Olivia's office. She had barricaded herself and pulled her blinds down. Biting her lip, she walked towards the office and knocked before walking in and watching her boss hold the framed picture of the two of you in her hands.

"I have something for you," the blonde spoke firmly and placed another bag on her desk that was filled with something dark in color. “Is that her wallet?” She asked aggravatedly and looked worriedly at the older woman as she realized through her widened sad expression that she had hit the mark with that assumption. It was yours. "The CSU people found it in one of the nearby trash cans, we have not looked in it yet, we wanted to leave it to you. But all the fingerprints we could find were already taken."

Olivia took the evidence bag and opened it. The wallet landed in front of her nose, on her closed laptop. Grabbing two disposable gloves from one of her desk drawers, she placed them over her hands and opened her wallet. She immediately saw a photo of the two of you together, which you always carried with you. Exactly the same one that she had on her desk.

Shaking her head hastily to clear away the tears and thoughts that were welling up, she pulled out more items, including a folded old piece of paper and a silver key. But the only thing missing was your ID card. A strange feeling came over her, one that made her heart beat faster while at the same time making her feel sick.

"A key?" Amanda stated in surprise and also pulled a pair of disposable gloves out of her pocket to take the silver material. The brunette passed it on to her without words, still staring at the folded paper she held in her hand. With shaking hands she unfolded it, the corners of the paper already torn, the writing once written in pencil barely visible. Only with her glasses could she see the thin lines of numbers written in your handwriting, a small saying underneath. -In case something happens to me-

"Amanda, please find out where the key belongs immediately. Y/n did not have it in her wallet with that number and those words for nothing.“

The person addressed nodded before looking into the thoughtful face of her best friend. "Do not worry, Liv. It is not the end of you two. Trust me, we will find her." Olivia's gaze tore away from the image she had been staring at for a long time and forced a smile. "Thanks, Manda."

[belovedrayne]

Zip – Coffee is a Hell of a Drug – Sehihel

There is a large difference in the amount of caffeine in tea versus coffee. For example, black tea, when brewed heavily, can contain on average of 47 mg of caffeine. Some stronger varieties could potentially go up to 90 mg. Green tea typically ranges from 20-45 mg, and white tea has around 6-60 mg. Now, take coffee. A regular cup of coffee starts off at around 95 mg. Naturally, brew it heavier and there is more. Espresso can have 58 mg in just a single ounce. There is a point to this, reader. Just bear with the poor Miqo’te telling this tale.

               Sehihel didn’t know any of this information at the time of this story. She mainly drank green or white teas and while she had a nice expanse of teas, she normally stuck with what she knew. So, when she saw her friend drinking a rather black looking liquid she learned the name of it. “Coffee”. The ex-gladiator probably should have known what it was but in truth she didn’t. So, she went to a coffee house not too far from where she lived and looked over the menu. One fancy word stuck out to her. She points to it and asks for it. Though, when she receives it, she is puzzled by how small the cup is. It’s not nearly the size of the cup F’zali had been drinking from. Several thoughtful moments pass before Sehihel gathers the courage to return to the counter.

               “Excuse me. I’d like this, but in a bigger cup? Like, this big?” A scarred hand motions to the eight-ounce mug for regular coffee. When the barista pushes back, concern in their face, the miqo’te nods enthusiastically. She didn’t want a sample she wanted to try the real experience.  Dubiously, the barista figured if the woman was going to pay for it then he would make it for her.  A few minutes later and Sehihel is back at her seat with a mug of espresso.

               At first, her nose crinkles at how bitter the flavor is as it strikes her tongue. It was stronger than she had expected, but she powered through. Within a few minutes the cup sat empty before her and she smiles at the barista who stared at her in awe. “Thank you.” She murmurs quietly to him, bowing her head and moving to leave.  Around the corner from the house, the miqo’te presses a palm to her chest as she feels suddenly very anxious. There was a lot going on in her life, so she pushes through it.

               The sound of a leaf skittering across the ground causes the woman to turn and look in that direction. Her pupils dilate and her already extremely fluffy tail, floofs up even more. One ear gives a twitch. Catmode.exe is activated. The miqo’te bolts after the leaf, trying to grab it as the wind carries it away from here. “Get… back… here! Oh!” She bolts over to a water feature, slapping her hand into it as she tries to catch some of the Koi. “Come. To. Mama!” She grumbles. Thankfully, her short attention span soon has her bolting off toward another sound that catches her ear. Zipping through a neighbor’s yard, knocking over several of their outdoor decorations, trying to grab the wind-chime hung too high over her head for her to get it.

               Thirty minutes later, F’zali walks up the walk to his home and pauses, tilting his head and looking up into the tree. A furrowed brow, a slightly opened mouth, and a confused expression lands on his face as he watches the woman currently clinging to the tree limb like it was a giant, rough, and uncomfortable teddy bear. Back tracking the claw marks left on the branch, down the trunk and a dismayed sound rumbles in his throat as he sees his torn-up garden. “I am going to charge you triple for that.” A chuff passes his lips next and he moves inside, still wondering why his friend was sleeping in the tree. One look on his allagan security cameras and he heaves a heavy sign, saving it to his tomestone. He was going to absolutely use this to blackmail his crackhead friend later. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I pictured Sehihel as this comic the whole time I was writing this:

[loopspoop]

Guess what I decided to do? Write! Welcome to the first chapter of the Midnight Jacket AU! The boys are having a rough time with the normal amount of Lupin violence! Hope it’s enjoyable! It’s angsty as hell! Stay tuned for more!

“Don’t be so hasty. I want the brain of a genius villain.” Dr. Mad observed him through the door. He would make an excellent specimen…

“Brain?” Lupin hesitated, frowning more. He wanted his brain? Not this tired plot again!

“That’s right. That’s why I coughed up 30 million to buy you. Let’s get to work right away.” Dr. Mad smirked, lifting his cane as he grabbed the handle.

“Wait. First I have a question. Jigen. Where’s my partner Jigen?” Lupin stood and quickly made his way toward the door. He needed to make sure he was here and safe.

Dr. Mad pulled his tranquilizer gun from the handle of his cane. He pointed it through the bars, aiming at Lupin. He needed to start his work soon.

“Wait, wait, wait! Wait a minute!” Lupin’s eyes widened as he took a step backwards. Shit shit shit shit-!

Dr. Mad pulled the trigger, the tranquilizer hitting Lupin square in the forehead. He watched as the thief stumbled back against the wall before falling to the ground unconscious. This was going to be a grand experiment!

Goemon stopped in front of the cell door, frowning as he looked inside. Two weeks in this prison hadn’t been easy on Fujiko and Jigen. They were both dirty and definitely needed a good meal. It was odd that Lupin hadn’t gotten them out sooner…or contacted him…

“You two look like you have seen better days.” He spoke up, causing Jigen and Fujiko to look toward him.

“Goemon! Fuck- took you long enough!” Jigen stood, going to the bars quickly. “Where the hell is Lupin?”

“Yeah! He’s got some nerve leaving us in here for this long!” Fujiko stood, dusting herself off. “He better have a good reason for it or else he owes us big time.” She pouted, crossing her arms.

“I have not heard from Lupin since the three of you went missing. I heard he was sold to Dr. Mad from Inspector Zenigata in passing.” Goemon frowned, slicing the bars quickly before stepping back so they could fall.

“Wait, so…you haven’t seen him at all?” Jigen hesitated, stepping out from the cell as he looked around. What the hell?

“No. I was hoping he was with you two..if that is not the case then he must be somewhere else here..” Goemon frowned, looking down the hallway as he handed Jigen and Fujiko their weapons he had found on his way in. Something was really off….

“What do you think Dr. Mad has done with him?” Fujiko frowned, looking down the hallway worriedly. She certainly hadn’t figured he would’ve been in any danger.

“No idea.” Jigen frowned, checking his Magnum over. “Fujiko, scout us a getaway car. Goemon and I will meet you outside with Lupin in five minutes.”

Fujiko frowned, nodding a bit. “You two better get him and yourselves out in one piece or I swear I’ll sell all of your stuff online.” She wouldn’t really do that…but the threat was hopefully enough motivation.

“We will be back together, that’s a promise. Now hurry.” Goemon nodded, gently ushering her toward the way he had come from.

Fujiko gave them one last glance before running off for the exit. Goemon and Jigen watched for a moment before exchanging glances. They began their search of the rest of the lab, hallway after hallway. This building was confusing as hell and…why did this doctor need 35 plus storage closets?! All of the doors were either cells or closets…rarely a lab, but not one with Lupin inside. Jigen was getting anxious, which meant he was also getting prickly. Lupin was never this hard to find any other time someone tried to trap them. Something was up..it was making them both increasingly uncomfortable as thoughts of what could be wrong kept growing in their minds and getting more extreme.

“Something is wrong..” Goemon mumbled, gripping Zantetsuken tighter as he glanced around. He was good at staying calm but…this situation made him anything but calm…

“You’re telling me..Lupin usually isn’t this hard to find..or this quiet..” Jigen frowned, cracking a nearby door. “How the hell is this another storage room-?!” He hissed angrily. How the hell were they supposed to find him-?!

“Shh-!” Goemon’s hand quickly found its way over Jigen’s mouth. “Listen.” He looked at him as he frowned.

From down the hall they could hear the faint sound of rattling chains and something thudding against metal. Goemon took his hand off of Jigen’s mouth, glancing at him as he stepped toward the door silently. Jigen followed, holding his magnum tightly. Whatever this was…it was either Lupin doing something stupid or Lupin in a bad situation. Hopefully it was just him being a dumbass and they could all chew him out for it later…but somehow it seemed less and less plausible as they got closer to the sounds.

The two took position on either side of the door, Jigen’s hand on the doorknob as he looked at Goemon. Goemon nodded, holding up his hand as he began to silently count down from three. Whatever was on the other side had to be related to Lupin. They held their weapons tightly, Jigen throwing the door open once Goemon’s countdown ended. They both quickly ran into the room, Jigen’s Magnum raised and Goemon ready to unleash Zantetsuken and-

They stopped, eyes wide. Jigen nearly dropped his Magnum and Goemon faltered. The sight before them…this..was this actually Lupin? This was a joke right? A dummy put by Lupin for the doctor to find at an inconvenient time..? But dummies didn’t breathe, especially not the fast, shallow breathing of someone in severe pain. No, this was actually-

“Lupin-“ Jigen quickly made his way to his side, crouching beside him. Shit…

“What did he do to him..?” Goemon breathed, standing anxiously behind Jigen. This was all wrong..

Lupin sat against the wall, his wrists shackled and his legs bound. He was littered with fresh wounds and his body..his left eye was gone..and his left arm and both of his legs…and it was all replaced with metal. Burns littered the skin around the metal implants, the areas around the implants and wounds looked angry and painful, definitely infected. His body trembled, despite how much he was sweating, rattling the chains and causing his head to knock against the wall from time to time. That explained the banging.. He was stripped down to his boxers, his body looked dirty and worn down. He seemed…smaller..than normal. It made them both sick to their stomachs to see Lupin in that state. He just looked..wrong.

“Son of a bitch..” Jigen frowned, his hands raised but unsure of where to touch. “We need to get him out of this..” he began looking for locks on the shackles.

Goemon frowned, his face tense as he quickly cut through the cuffs and the binds around his legs. They needed to get Lupin out of here. Whatever ideas this doctor had were all sorts of twisted and disturbing. He should’ve come sooner to get them out of this..

“Okay, boss.” Jigen took a breath, gently trying to maneuver Lupin to get him off of the ground. He could’ve thought of a way out, he should’ve known Lupin wasn’t well off if he didn’t come for them…

Lupin jerked, gasping out raggedly as he began to weakly push away from Jigen and struggle. He was nowhere near conscious, but he knew being grabbed meant another new pain somewhere and something not feeling…right. Between the increased sensitivity of his cybernetics fused with his nervous system and the infected wounds across his body, everything was too much. He needed to get away, he had to get the hell out of here and get everyone to safety-

“Lupin-! Shit, Lupin, it’s us!” Jigen tried to steady him, grunting when Lupin managed to elbow him in the face to try to get him off.

“Lupin, it’s us! Let us help you!” Goemon tried, grabbing his other side as carefully as one could manage with a struggling, semi-conscious thief.

Lupin whined, struggling more fiercely. Smaller parts of his cybernetics began to break off of his arms and legs in the struggle, causing him to cry out. He had to get away- the others needed him! Something was wrong! He needed out! Escape-! Escape, escape, escape!

“JI-gEN-!! Go-GOEMON! Ple-EASE!” Lupin began to scream out hoarsely, jerking and twisting against the hands grabbing him. He needed out, he had to get out! He screamed louder, tearing up as he thrashed and hollered desperately. “FUJI- PLEASE! PL-PLEASE!”

Jigen froze, his grip slackening as his eyes widened. Goemon quickly let go of Lupin, his eyes frantically going to Jigen. They had never, ever, heard Lupin this desperate or pleading. They had never seen him so earnestly panicked, near tears. Lupin was a lot of things, but he was never this terrified in all the years they had know him…

“Lupin..” Jigen carefully took his hand in his own, his grip light. “It’s us. We’re right here, Lupin.”

“We will not let any more harm come to you.” Goemon frowned, gently trying to support Lupin with a hand on his back.

Lupin trembled, gasping and panting as his hands fumbled. He looked toward them, his eyes unfocused as tears streamed from his right eye. Was it really them? Or was this a hallucination brought on from pain? Could he handle it if it was a hallucination…? If he was hallucinating at this point it wasn’t good…

“Easy, Lupin. We’ll get you out of this, alright?” Jigen spoke softly, squeezing his hand faintly. He was going to kill that bastard doctor..

Goemon nodded, his thumb stroking against Lupin’s back softly. “Breathe. Everything will be alright. We are here now.”

Lupin whined softly, slumping toward them as he struggled to grasp more consciousness. “Jig’n…Go’mn…” he slurred, his body losing strength from the fight he had tried to put up. He hoped it was actually them…this being a hallucination would suck…

“That’s right. It’s us. Just take it easy and we’ll get out of here just fine..” Jigen carefully repositioned Lupin, holding him bridal style as he tried to stand. “Shit- he got heavy-!” He hissed, struggling a bit to stand.

“It must be all this metal..” Goemon frowned deeply, studying his replaced limbs. How could someone do this..?

“It is. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll put my project down and surrender yourselves now.” Dr. Mad snarled, holding his gun as he stood in the doorway.

“You-!” Jigen growled, holding Lupin closer as he stood behind Goemon. He couldn’t fire and hold onto Lupin, Goemon was their best bet.

“‘Project’?! How dare you!” Goemon glared angrily, his grip tightening on Zantetsuken. “Lupin is a person, not a machine or a specimen to be studied!”

Dr. Mad scoffed, smirking. “With a brain like his he could be the perfect super weapon! I’m merely improving the body! Once he is under my control fully, there will be nobody who could stop me! A genius thief with an indestructible body can get me anything I desire!”

Jigen scowled. This guy was disgusting… what the hell had Lupin gone through in his time here? How much had he suffered while they were just down the hallway? Was he even going to be able to recover from all of this? He glanced at Goemon, frowning more. They needed to get out of here and get rid of this bastard…

Goemon narrowed his eyes. “We failed Lupin before, but not again. You will never lay a hand on him again!” He unsheathed Zantetsuken, lunging at the doctor quickly

Dr. Mad fired at them, causing Jigen to duck out of the way behind a table with Lupin before he side stepped Goemon. “I’ve studied you too, samurai! You would all make perfect additions to my cyborg army!” He shouted angrily. “You can’t beat me!”

Jigen ducked as a bullet narrowed missed his hat, glancing at Lupin as the man flinched and trembled. He wasn’t doing good.. “Goemon!” They needed to hurry up and get the hell out of here…

Goemon glanced back at Jigen, his eyes flicking to Lupin before his clenched his teeth. Jaw set, he sliced across Dr. Mad quickly, sliding back in front of the table before clicking Zantetsuken’s sheath shut again.

Dr. Mad’s gun dropped to the ground in pieces. He laughed, looking at them as he smirked. “You-“ he hesitated, choking as his eyes became unfocused and blood began to pool at the front of his suit. “…missed-“ he gasped, stumbling forward before he fell onto the ground, blood spilling out around him.

Jigen frowned, stepping out from behind the table. “Good riddance…” he mumbled, stepping up beside Goemon. “Let’s get the fuck out of here..” he started toward the door.

“Mm..” Goemon grimaced at the body in disgust before looking back at the lab. He quickly grabbed some notebooks that were at a nearby desk and slipped them into his kimono before following Jigen. They would need all the information they could get..

The two made their way through the halls silently, only their footsteps were heard besides Lupin’s whining and shallow breathing. They’d have their work cut out for them in treating his wounds. Fujiko wouldn’t be pleased about this either, especially since they had definitely taken over five minutes..When they stepped outside, Fujiko glared at them from the getaway car.

“You assholes! What kept you so-“ she hesitated when she saw Lupin, her eyes widening. “…oh my god-“.

Jigen stepped up to the car, frowning. “We need to get to a hideout. Whichever is closest. We need to lay low for a while.”

Goemon opened the back door, getting in as he helped Jigen lay Lupin half across his lap and half across the backseat. “Preferably something well hidden.”

Fujiko bit her lip, taking a breath to steady herself as she nodded. “Alright…alright, I know a place.” She got into the car, starting it up quickly.

Jigen got in, glancing back to Lupin through the rear view mirror. He was obviously still in pain..and he looked like shit in light outside the dark lab. Pale and tired..dirty and wounded…he wasn’t used to seeing him that way..

Fujiko drove, keeping her eyes strictly on the road. She didn’t think she would be able to drive if she looked at Lupin too much��� “what happened to him?”

“That doctor..” Jigen growled, grabbing a cigarette his pocket as he frowned. “Wanted to make him into some sort of cyborg to help him steal shit..”

Goemon frowned, running his fingers through Lupin’s hair to soothe him as he held him steady. He looked uncomfortable to begin with but the bumps in the road weren’t helping either..

Fujiko frowned, glancing at Jigen. She might not read Jigen as well as Lupin could..but she could tell whatever they had seen wasn’t something anywhere near good…she could at least assume that the doctor was dead and relax a bit about that..not that any of them would even be able to begin to relax any time soon. For now, they had to find a hideout that was secure enough for them to stay for a while while they sorted this out…

[kraekat29]

Suburban Legends- Chapter Fifteen

JJ set up the gear, grabbing Ruby’s hand and helping her stand up, pressing a quick kiss to her temple as they got set up.

“Don’t forget your safety stop at fifteen feet” Pope said, “what happens if we forget again..?” Ruby asked.

“You get the bends. Extreme sickness, excruciating pain, death” Pope listed off and Ruby’s face paled.

“Dude..” JJ muttered, giving Pope a death stare before kneeling in front of Ruby, “that won’t happen okay? We’ll make our stop..” he promised and she nodded.

She nodded to herself and took an anxious breath, watching as he grabbed the harpoon gun before sitting beside her and grabbing her hand.

“Diver down..?” Ruby asked, smiling as he did too, “diver down” JJ said and squeezed her hand three times before they dove off the boat.

John B looked down into the water anxiously, he didn’t have a good feeling at all, maybe it was because it had been so long since they were apart of this.

“I have to admit this whole thing is making me feel nostalgic” Pope said and Kiara hummed in agreement, “yeah.. well it’s a one and done” John B tried to convince himself.

Underwater JJ and Ruby made it through the ship, he motioned for her to stay put as he went to look in the spot the amulet was supposed to be at.

She didn’t like it, but she listened, anxiously looking at how much oxygen time she had left repeatedly, trying to remind herself to not breathe so quickly.

It was way too dark down here, even with a flashlight she felt blind, trapped almost.

Ruby looked up as JJ came back, her eyebrows furrowing as she saw another bag and harpoon gun on the floor.

The two of them shared a look, both equally as confused, this wasn’t either of theirs, and so far they were the only people down here.

Ruby’s skin prickled as she got a bad vibe, screaming as she was grabbed from behind, a hand tightly gripping her throat.

She kicked and squirmed, the suction from the ship in the water making it difficult for her to move.

JJ grabbed the harpoon gun, scrambling and shot the guy in the arm, Ruby screaming as the man shoved him into a locker and locked it.

“JJ!” Ruby screamed, trying to get to him, shrieking as her oxygen was yanked off, “Ruby!!” JJ screamed, banging on the door.

She held her breath, her heart racing as her vision already had dark spots dancing around it, desperately yanking on the door that wouldn’t budge.

Ruby’s lungs were screaming for oxygen, her vision starting to black out- only she wasn’t worried about herself, all that mattered was getting JJ out.

Her grip on the door loosened as she couldn’t hold her breath any longer, her eyes starting to slip shut as water filled her mouth and lungs.

JJ grabbed a rock and banged repeatedly on the door, yelling in frustration as the vents broke in only small pieces, his heart racing as he desperately tried to get to Ruby.

*one year ago*

Ruby stood in the small beach house as Sarah zipped up her wedding dress, anxiously looking at her reflection in the mirror.

“What if.. what if he changes his mind..?” Ruby asked, “you really think JJ would change his mind? Please. He’s like a lost puppy without you” Sarah said with a quiet laugh.

She looked over as John B came in, tears automatically filling his eyes as he saw her, “oh my god you look beautiful” he choked out and hugged her tightly.

“No no don’t cry! It’ll make me cry” Ruby said and tried to laugh but it came out more of a sob, “hey! Don’t mess up the makeup it took four hours!” Kiara scolded.

Ruby froze as the music started, the music making her stomach twist uncomfortably.

“Breathe.. breathe Rubes..” John B said and looped his arm through hers, “just.. just don’t let me fall okay?” Ruby asked, “I won’t ever let you fall” he promised and she nodded.

He led her out onto the beach, the whole time she was shaking, but as soon as she saw JJ everything stopped.

She practically ran to him, her heart racing at just the thought of him waiting for her.

He was her home

*now*

JJ got out and panicked as he saw Ruby floating in the water, rushing over and quickly assessing her.

“Breathe! C’mon breathe!” JJ’s muffled cries reached her ears as Ruby sucked in a gulp of oxygen, sharing from JJ’s.

He sighed in relief, and quickly swam up with her, completely forgetting the safety stop as he tried to get back up in time.

Once they got to the surface they both gasped for air, Ruby coughing up the water that had got in her lungs.

“Where are they?” JJ breathed out, clutching Ruby to him, “guys! Guys where are you!” Ruby yelled, frantically looking for the boat, unable to see it from the fog.

“There, over there” He pointed out and they swam over, quickly climbing onto the ladder, both of them slumping against the side of the boat as they caught their breath.

“What the hell happened?” Pope asked, “someone tried to kill us down there Pope” JJ said and held Ruby close to him, making sure she was okay.

This game just got a lot more dangerous.

[thegroundsofbrooklyn]

thoughts on west endsies because now that i've been five times i feel like i should hop on this bandwagon

(below the cut)

- mark. mark's mike is so clearly extremely anxious and uncomfortable in large crowds a lot of the time. when he comes on behind specs after they raise the prices he's fidgeting with his necktie and he looks so small and. i live for this okay

- more on that. mike is the last newsie to leave the theatre after jack scabs and when he goes up to jack he looks so vulnerable. god i want to give him a hug

- race covers romeo's eyes during that's rich mocking the way davey covers les' and i love it

- damon's davey. i have so much to say about this. he's so different from ryan's davey in that his anxiety manifests itself as being EXTREMELY uptight and straightforward ?? and the way he gets more and more comfortable over the course of the show ... so normal about it fr

- the javey with damon's davey is MSDJSNF because damon's davey is that little bit more physical and up-close and it makes the javey like. 15x stronger

- ross saying "IT'S ABOUT TIME" when jack and katherine kiss during the finale

- jomike. platonically or otherwise it is so real in this production it is so canonical and i will die on this hill. last time i went mukeni fully picked mark up bridal-style while they were waiting for their papers. they're besties your honour

- speaking of. ralbert. this is an entirely different breed of ralbert and it's so perfect. they feel ?? older ??? more mature but not in the make-sensible-decisions way just in the make-stupid-decisions-despite-having-properly-thought-them-through-and-knowing-full-well-they're-stupid way

- ngl during seize the day they fully nearly dropped matt if morgan hadn't been standing behind him and caught him he would have gone splat

- speaking of. morgan's finch is a parrot crossbill sorry i don't make the rules

- i am headcanoning specs and albert as having evening jobs working at medda's theatre because they operate the lights during that's rich. it's canonical guys you heard it here first

- owen had a fake moustache for bill ... i do not enjoy that at all <- he is petty and does not like change (also the colours of bill and darcy's costumes are switched around from livesies and it is SO confusing. the suits are so gorgeous but please my poor brain can't handle the confusion)

anyways this was a long time coming i might add more next time i see it (like. two and a half weeks) (look forward to it)

[aesop-and-fiends]

I’ve decided to use this partially as something to get something off my chest, because for some reason it won’t climb off. I really need some advice.

About a year or so ago, there was an incident involving a friend of mine and myself. I’ll call this person Garret. Garret and I were at a friend’s (calling them Jamie) 17th birthday party. We had been friends for a long time, since primary school, and had recently reconnected after time apart due to myself moving house and schools. So, it was myself, Garret and Jamie, roleplaying together like old times. It was good. For context, I had been roleplaying separately with Garret for several years prior, and we had come to get to know each-other’s characters rather well. However, I always felt an odd dependence in our relationship, which was validated one day when Garret randomly blocked Jamie and I in a discord server we shared. When I tried to contact Garret through their phone number, they confessed that they were in love with me and had been for a very long time. At the time, I was in a relationship that I had been in for 2 years prior to this message, with a person I am still very much in love with, so the message hit me as quite a shock. Nonetheless, I tried to be as understanding as I could. We talked, and Garret later revealed that some of the ways in which I described certain aspects of my character’s deeds were too graphic and made them deeply uncomfortable (I am a horror writer at heart). I understood this and apologised for upsetting them, we set boundaries and moved on. However, not without an air of confusion between us, and a degree of discomfort on my part. Over the next few months (for which Garret was in a relationship) Garret began discussing the idea of polyamory and platonic friendships with me. I should have told them to speak to their partner rather than asking me, but I was 16 and very naive. Back to the birthday party. It was myself, Garret and Jamie in their caravan, drinking, being silly and roleplaying. This is a good time to mention that Jamie unfortunately was pushed to the side in a lot of our role plays due to the fact Garret and I role played separately and tended to have lengthier answers than that which Jamie liked to write. For the first couple hours, things were going really well. However, after involving a plot in which my character died on the shoulder of Garret’s character and was miraculously revived, I realised I was no longer comfortable and tried to remove myself from the situation discreetly by checking my phone, so as to not make either Jamie or Garret uncomfortable. It was Jamie’s 17th after all. My partner was anxious about me being so far away, so I was texting them. Meanwhile, Garret was eager to get back to a plot, which I understood, but tried to reaffirm to them that they had their own partner so they should understand why I was texting mine (not in those specific terms, but rather more a nudge). I do not believe Garret is a bad person, however they did not ask for my consent for what is to follow. The next scene they wanted to do involved their character turning into a dog and whimpering in pain, and required me to scratch their hair. (Important to note here that Garret LOVED touching my hair and would often be quite touchy with me in public, which seemed innocent enough until their confession). They did not ask for my consent in any of these occasions, as far as I remember. This was a year ago, but I remember these instances being quite sudden. This scene involving Garret the dog made me extremely uncomfortable, to the point where I couldn’t move. However, I said nothing. I didn’t want to upset Jamie and ruin the night for Garret, so I played along. The next morning, Garret joked about how in the night I had apparently cuddled up to them in my sleep. Considering everything, I went into a trauma response (I am an SA survivor and was SA’d in my sleep as a child so the mentioning of this was VERY triggering for me.) I discussed my discomforts with Jamie after Garret had been picked up (I have been friends with Jamie since I was 2, whereas I had been friends with Garret since I was 12), and Jamie urged me to discuss things with them. I did.

It was a normal conversation, and I asked if we could not do that again because it made me uncomfortable. I have since deleted all the screenshots unfortunately, all I have is my word, however I would say this went well. After telling my partner about what happened, they were furious and wanted to meet Garret, so I added them to a server under the guise of us roleplaying all four of us (myself, Jamie, Garret, and my partner who I’ll call Lucian). The server was silent. Then, when I asked if anyone wanted to roleplay, after many ‘college is hard and I’m busy’ comments, the flood gates opened and Jamie and Garret went into a full war. There had always been conflict between the two, and I admit, there were some things that Garret raised against Jamie that I had to agree with, but in the end I chose Jamie over Garret as my friend, because they have been for me through thick and thin. I also later discovered that Garret had been being odd towards his at the time partner who i’ll call Bea. They broke up, as per Garret’s request. After this, I lost my shit. All that pain and confusion and anger came spilling out in a very ugly way. Garret blocked me again on discord, so I texted their number to ask what was happening, to which they blocked me again (a year ago, can’t remember exactly, but I suspect this is the case). I then found them on Tumblr. They blocked me before I could have my say in the argument, and I was furious. So, we argued, and they later blocked me, after blaming me for their suicidal thoughts and intent to hurt themselves (I am also a suicide survivor). This was the end of it for a while. I still don’t understand how it escalated from us sorting the problem to resolving it. A year later, I saw Garret in a hot chocolate shop in the city near where I used to live. They entered after me, and upon seeing me, immediately left. I sent them a message (on my new tumblr account) to apologise for making them uncomfortable and that I was now out of the shop if they wanted to go and get one. They then called me a variety of horrible names, blamed me for all of their trauma, and compared me to Mr. Hyde from Jekyll and Hyde. They also said I was cruel even as a child and that they were a fool for ever trusting me because myself and Jamie are just as bad as each-other and are both horrible people. I was shocked by this. I did not wish to be made into a punching bag, however I also did not want to escalate the situation. I appreciate the friendship we had, and while I understand it had to end, I do not believe I am an evil person. I tried to explain I would be in the city (which has quite a small city centre) A LOT over the next few weeks so they should be prepared to see me. I also told them that if it was triggering for them to see me, that I would be in a set of specific locations on specific days, and thus to avoid those locations if they did not want to see me. More horrible names, more comments about me being an abuser and a manipulator. I didn’t want to upset them, I just wanted to be helpful and prevent further upset. I understand perhaps I was the fool in that situation. After discussing this with Bea however, with whom I have found a strong friendship, apparently this was not out of character for Garret, and they often showed this behaviour in their relationship. I understand love is a hard thing to deal with, but I still don’t understand. I know I should have set boundaries, and regret not doing so, but I had never expected them to not ask for consent and brag about the unconscious returning of their affections, which I was deeply uncomfortable with, especially when they knew I was in a committed relationship.

I can’t help feeling as though I can’t now move on, and am weighed down significantly by this (this is not to say I deny that Garret went through a hard time, I believe they did). I understand I wasn’t perfect and could have dealt with things better and more logically but I was distraught and dealing with my hog of fair other things at the time. This is not to say I have not apologised for where I went wrong, I have. However they have yet to apologise for what they did. Am I wrong for wanting them to apologise? How do I move on from this?

[stormofneurosis]

Zelda chp 1

A Zelda fanfic idea that popped into my head the other day. It's not finished but I wanted to chuck some of it up to get it out of my head

Shut up and Drive (working title) Current word count: 2075 Themes: Highschool 15-17 age range of main characters. Social norms and gender identities, neurodivergence

Link watched in painful silence as the hands ran over the chassis of his bike. The C-spec engine had been making distressing sounds for the last few days, and the Bosphoramus repair shop had finally had a free slot to bring it in. He hated anyone else touching his Pona, but the old man, Rhoam, had always treated the brand better than any other mechanic. He didn’t know this new kid though. He watched them suspiciously as fine hands slipped into the joints, then opened something. A small description list was forming in the back of his head, trying to place the accent and the expression to know how he should act.

“When did you last change the oil?”

The voice was so thin he barely heard it. It was neither male nor female, just like the ambiguous blue-and-white coverall. Half their face was hidden by a respirator, their hair vanishing under a mesh cap. Link grimaced expressively and raised two fingers. The inability to tell anything about this person was making him extremely anxious

“Two… what? Weeks? Days? Months?”

The voice and eyes went sharp with annoyance. Link, never one to talk in the best circumstances, flinched down. Where was the old man? When the other person advanced on him a step, he quickly laid an arm flat, rested the elbow on the back of the hand, and did what seemed to be a slow-motion slap of his forearm.

“Are you threatening me?”

The other was almost on top of him. The boy couldn’t clear his thoughts fast enough. He was going to be touched

“Zee!”

The voice was a sharp snap out of the back room. His aggressor backed off. He hadn’t even felt the single arm rise to protect his face. The old man stepped out of the back room, wiping his hands on a cloth. His eyes, a sunken teal, were vivid among the wild bush of grey hair. It was combed back and secured with ties, but somehow that only seemed to make it more wild. The man was built like an ox. Without thinking, Link scampered to him for protection.

“Link?”

The thick nose crinkled in confusion, then the gaze fell back to the new employee.

“Your Pona’s playing up? That’s odd. Have you found anything to suggest why Zee?”

His tormentor sniffed in disdain.

“I was asking when he last oiled her up, and he started threatening me!”

“That doesn’t sound like Link. What’d you say to her kiddo?”

Link held up two fingers, then repeated the arm-slap.

“Two days eh? I assume she was making the noise before that.”

The question got a massive nod, and several more hand gestures. “Zee” watched Rhoam pay the boy his full attention. The old man punctuated the moment as if having a genuine conversation.

“Uh-huh, no that makes sense, and you tried-ok yes I thought you would have. No, I agree. Yes, I understand.”

He turned back towards Zee, disappointment on his face.

“I thought I taught you sign language.”

“He doesn’t seem deaf.”

The protest made the old man’s face contort into anger again.

“Link has been coming here since he got his first Pona, one of the A-specs. Damn fine bike it was. He’s not deaf.”

Zee didn’t seem to know when to shut up.

“Then he should be talking, what kind of idiot doesn’t know how to talk.”

“Go to your room.”

Both Link and Zee looked at the old man in surprise. After a moment passed, they must have seen the seriousness in that face, for the young human slammed their tools back into the box and stormed towards the back. Rhoam waited until they were out of view.

“Forgive me, I thought my da-… my child, was ready to start customer work. Sh-… They are having trouble. I brought them back from boarding school to try and get them on a better track. I’ll work on that.”

Link let out a soft, mumbling noise, shrugging uncomfortably. Rhoam knew better than to pat his shoulder.

“Thank you for understanding lad. Let’s have a look at your bike.”

~

Half a city away, a young man adjusted his shirt and tie in front of a mirror while a woman clucked behind him. He turned, and her hands were on the join in a flash, fussing.

“You have to look perfect for your first day.”

“It’s fine Momeh, it’s just an orientation day today. You don’t need to worry.”

“He’s right ‘Ume, you’re going to drive him to tears with that attitude. But you’re still to be on your best behaviour.”

Gannondorf looked at his second mother with a tender smile, one that Kotake did not return. Her eyes narrowed.

“I mean it, Gannon. Neither of us want to hear you’ve been given detention for fighting.”

“It wasn’t my fault”

The comment was smushed as Koume took a wet flannel to rub at his cheek. Her fiery red hair was woven into complex braids that looked like flames sliding down her spine. She patted his shoulder lovingly. Kotake frowned even more, twitching a strand of her blue hair back behind her ear. Her hair was done into waves across her back. Gannon knew that it took forever to get those hairstyles in place if something disrupted them. His own rampaging forest of red hair was currently in thick dreadlocks back from his face, drawing attention to the golden eyes set in a fierce face. His nose felt like it should be pointy, but was a surprisingly short and round affair. He never understood why people would expect it to be so sharp.

Koume paused, then rubbed his other cheek. Kotake sighed.

“If you’re done, ‘Ume, I should get him there before work.”

Koume studied his face anxiously again, then kissed his cheek.

“Make us proud.”

“I will Momeh, Momah.”

His gaze slid between them lovingly. The two linked hands and pressed their foreheads together, then kissed with the gentle love and promise they always exchanged. One reason for coming here was that they no longer needed to hide that love. Their former home, Tomoda, had been furious if anyone even suggested it.

Quietly he checked his backpack. He felt a little self-conscious. His growth spurt now made him tower over the other teens he’d met in town. It didn’t help that he hadn’t seen a single other dark-skinned person around. They were truly far from Gerudo now. He loved hearing stories of his mothers’ home town in the desert, with the open sky awash in the night.

“Gannon?”

Kotake put a hand on his shoulder, calling him back to the here and now. He gave her another smile. She smiled back, and they headed for the car together.

~

Now that his bike was at least running again, Link carefully ran himself to school. Neither parent had been able to see him off, but he was comfortable enough with the routine. While his language skills hindered him socially, he was still well able to manage the academic requirements. Most of the teachers at the school were familiar with him, and enough spoke sign language to minimise the worst incidents.

He carefully parked in the same spot he always took, then let out a startled “uhah!” as a car pulled in beside him. The engine had so little noise he found himself staring at the hood, wondering what kind if must be using, before his attention was wrenched by the movement of people. He huddled back nervously.

“[This better be the right packing lot this time.]”

“[it is Momah]”

The tallest woman Link had ever seen slid out of the drivers’ seat. He tried not to draw attention to himself as she strode on to the footpath. Her hair was stunning, a deep red and somehow bound into flame-like drifts. As she moved he could see little beads sparkling at the joins. His blue eyes narrowed in a squint. Would you have to put hair product into it to keep it like that, or was there some other secret. The effect was like the woman was wearing a cloak of flame.

“Can I help you?”

Link gave his little cry of shock as the boy leaned towards him. He had the same fire-red hair, but it was in a far more familiar pattern, tight bunches pulled back from the face. Accent was unfamiliar, English as a second language. Dark skin. Golden eyes. Was the expression angry? He struggled to parse it.

Thick eyebrows drew together. The boy looked from Link to his mother, as if asking what to do. Link found one word rise up in the bubble of anxiety.

“Hair!”

The boy looked at him, then back at his mother, then back to Link again. His teeth appeared. Smiling, he was smiling. Link nervously did the same back. Sometimes people scared him without meaning to, and this one was smiling at him! It calmed him somewhat. He found another word.

“Pretty. Pretty hair.”

He saw the woman was looking at him too, though she looked far more annoyed. He lifted his helmet up a little, hiding his mouth, though his big blue eyes peered back at her with nervous admiration.

“[What’s he saying? Is he being rude?]”

Kotake took a step forward in frustration. Gannon had inherited her temper. The larger boy rose from his partial stoop to put a hand up.

“[He was admiring your hair]”

“Oh.”

The comment seemed to mollify her. Link watched as she ran a finger down one curling flame path. He got a thin smile from her, and he lowered the helmet to attempt to smile back.

“Is Gerudo.”

Kotake spoke with a thicker version of the same accent, but Link nodded at the words.

“Pretty.”

He paused, then looked up at Gannon. His thin face twitched through some notes of confusion. He drew a finger up to point at the larger boy.

“No?”

Gannon blinked at him in confusion, then took a stab at what the question might be, petting his thick dreadlocks.

“I don’t have a style yet. Once I reach age, I will find my element, then I may try a style for me.”

Link beamed at that, making a soft, happy sound. He turned away to finish setting his bike away in his spot. Gannon smiled to himself at the odd kid, and took several large strides to catch up with his mother.

“[You’re one to talk Momah, saying I’m not to get in trouble.]”

“[I don’t mean you don’t defend yourself from people being racist. Look at these kids, you’d think they’ve never seen anyone from Gerudo before.]”

It was true, there were stares from all around, all of them set in faces ranging from bone-white to dusky rose. He also felt absurdly tall as they crossed the grounds.

“[I am going to have to teach you more English too aren’t I?]”

Kotake made a small, nasally noise, half annoyed sigh and half rueful agreement. They headed for the office.

~

The class always was a little noisy when they first sat down. Link was known for dealing with it by covering his ears until the worst had passed. He saw several familiar faces, but one that was both new, and familiar, which was an odd combination.

The new kid had short blonde hair clipped into messy points around their ears, and an angry, intense stare. It took a moment before he realised that they reminded him of Rhoam, then a swift spiral of dismay culminating in a spike of fear as he realised they were glaring at him. He ducked his head back towards the front where Mr. Horwell was standing patiently, waiting for the muttering to die down. Once it had he began rollcall. Link managed a soft “ahyuh” as his name came up, but was so busy listening for his own, that he forgot to listen for the new student’s name. It was rare for a new student to be forced to introduce themselves, a practice for which he was grateful. It was always so awkward when they tried to stare at him for help during it.

It was an hour into the day before Horwell was suddenly called into the office. He pulled Karane to the front to mind the class, then slid out of the room with the messenger. As soon as he was outside a soft murmur rose from the students.

[rengokugutspill]

Of course following the hormones in association with getting about ready to get my period, I was seeing excessive fatigue for about a week, where I felt like I was just so tired & never got enough sleep. Though I think during that time there were a number of occurrences where shit was waking me up & since I'm someone who typically sleeps twelve hours, getting interrupted sleep fucks me up. Then it shifted into still extreme fatigue but insomnia on top of it, only serving to make me feel more aggressive & volatile because there was no relief in being able to actually sleep. Two days before my period starts I start getting headaches but not quite migraines.

Because I'm still pretty tired, I've flipped my days to waking up before dawn & going to bed in the evening. I went to go to bed yesterday, I feel like I'm so exhausted just because this type of day is very disorienting. I don't think I really take into account when I actually woke up, so when it's evening & I'm getting delirious it does feel a bit confusing & disturbing for me. Even though I think it's both right & appropriate for when I'd actually woken up. & idk, I think I was being pretty active lately during my wake hours.

When I'd laid down, I could clearly feel tired but was having a hard time falling asleep. Tossing & turning, eventually most of the cats going downstairs. Which Burger is out for the most part now outside of meal times, but I still have to close my door when I'm sleeping because Lucifer is back on apparently thinking he's a bat flying around my room. & I do feel so much better having Burger out, even if I do have to close my door sometimes. It feels better than he's free roaming so I know he's not in a room feeling bored & bent out of shape.

I think in the past couple years I started experiencing the sensation of falling asleep. Like nearly watching it in real time as my thoughts start to fade into something incomprehensible. Like, since I usually sleep with a true crime program on, I forget if I've mentioned here before, but I always know when I'm falling asleep cos they'll say they're looking for the criminal on the show & say his name & my sleepy thought is like “oh shit, we gotta find this guy !” & when I start having thoughts like that, I know it's all over for me lmfao or I've had some where I'm at the family barbecue & the criminal shows up lmfao but I do also blame this for occasional bad dreams

I also blame this for why I don't dream about Rengoku more, because I think I can't fabricate a dream about him when the material being fed to me is threatening or otherwise worrisome. Though I had a weird dream he was on some kinda game show where he was gambling on behalf of some kingdom but the gambling was done on some high pedestal thing where everyone was like at a poker or black jack table & he got voted off the show & a trap door opened beneath him & dropped him off the platform & then he just walked away ?? I'd had another one where I went to Japan to collect rare Rengokus & went into some establishment, but things were different from USA so there was this thing where you applied coins to a machine to get a ticket to buy a sandwich & I was really anxious because I didn't understand but Rengoku was there telling me I could do it.

Though I had a really weird & upsetting dream about him the other night that was like a movie dream, it was Rengoku but a different Rengoku & I was not in the dream. This Rengoku was a bit bigger & in a different lifetime, he had a wife & son & the son looked just like Senjuro & the Rengoku was having memories of the Rengoku from Demon Slayer so he kept thinking his son was his brother Senjuro & his son was really concerned that his dad kept forgetting who he was & his wife was worried & making him go to therapy & he was overall despondent & uncomfortable because he didn't understand what was happening & was uncomfortable that he couldn't remember his own life but was having memories of a different life. That dream really bothered me, it was a really worrisome & distressing dream, like a disturbing psychological drama movie that he was in. I did not like it & don't want to have another one like it.

I've also noticed for some weird reason that sleeping during the afternoon creates a higher likelihood for me having sleep paralysis when falling asleep. I've had a lot of really weird ones. & I can usually feel it coming. I'd said this before to my mom & she tried to insist feeling like it was coming on was me just being afraid of it happening & then because I was afraid I ended up willing it to happen. I really don't think that's what it is. I understand we really cannot figure out what is causing sleep paralysis in every case. We have an idea of what causes some cases. I'm a skeptic but a spiritualist, I believe in spirits, ghosts, elementals, energies, interlopers, but I also think most “unexplained” phenomenon actually do have viable & reasonable explanations if you look hard enough. Obviously as someone prone to delusion, it's very important to challenge everything & not accept things wholly at face value or blame fairies or paranormal for everything. The pursuit of knowledge is the pursuit of deeper understanding & vivid clarity in all things. & curiously, spirituality tends to be defined by “what does it feel like to you ?” & a lot of “trusting your gut instincts.” Which again, is hard to really say with delusion prone thinking. Yet I do think that is the most reasonable way to interact with spirituality. It's interesting when looking at psychics because they tend to say they just feel something, yet you put ten in a room & if they're real psychics, most of them will key in on the same thing even without being able to communicate with one another. I know some things are just really hard to explain & are wholly feeling based. I guess to say the third eye or spirit body are in seeing, feeling & interacting with the unseen. A sixth sense you hone. I believe it.

With that being said, I do think something unseen causes my sleep paralysis. I'd had a dream before at my second apartment where I was at the house I lived in for the second half of my childhood, there was a swimming pool & deck in the backyard & there was a voice speaking to me that I guess was my great grandmother maybe & she told me I have periods of nightmares in that apartment because I think it was like thirty years ago (it might have been more idrr) there was a band of dudes who roamed the area committing horrible crimes & causing general unrest & that their spirits still come back on the anniversary of those events to terrorize the same places, so they come into my room at night to terrorize me when I'm dreaming. It was a really interesting dream. In the same dream she had mentioned there is something in my room every night that always watches me & it's neither good nor bad, it's just always there watching me. I guess it must not be human because she didn't say it was a man or a person, she called it a “something.” But I'd imagined it sitting in the chair in my room that used to be at the foot of my bed. Now I have a bedside armchair & I almost imagine that it sits there.

So I ended up having a nightmare last night that scared me so bad. In the dream I was standing in my room & the TV was on. I heard my roommate come home & I'd walked towards the stairs but the stairway was different in my dream, it was a switch back staircase. I met them on the landing & we'd gone downstairs. From there it was pretty accurate to real life, they'd gone into the livingroom & I went into the kitchen, the rooms are connected by a large archway, so each looks into the other. As I was walking into the kitchen, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I'm going towards the sink because I think it's dehydration so I want to get water, but the rims of my vision are blackening & it's coming over more. I told my roommate I was going to faint & then just fell on the floor. I was still conscious though my vision was completely black & I couldn't move my body. My vision started to come back & I got up & try to open the cupboard for a plastic cup to get water because I'm worried about glass that I will drop it & I'm holding onto the counter because I know I'm going to faint again & the plastic cups aren't in the cupboard & I faint again. I come back & nearly blindly grab the plastic cup from the dish strainer & I get the water in the cup but then I can't swallow. I get the water in my mouth but it's like my throat is closed shut & the mechanism in the throat that allows you to swallow isn't working. So it's like the water is just in my mouth & when I try to get it to go to my throat it just sits there & I'm trying to choke it down but only the smallest amounts of water are making it. Then I woke up. It was so scary & my first thought when I woke up was how I'd read something about how spirits don't bother you if you have cats around because cats chase them away & I was thinking about how I only had the nightmare after all the cats left the room, so I immediately went downstairs to get Venom & she was sound asleep on the back of the armchair in the livingroom. I prodded at her asking her to come upstairs with me but she was so asleep she could hardly move. She ended up getting up & walking to the door & when I opened the door she ran upstairs & I brought her to the bed & she sat & waited for me to get in bed, but she was clearly so asleep she just kinda lulled there rather than immediately coming to me. I basically went right back to sleep, but the aftermath of the dream felt just as uncomfortable as the dream. I feel like it's rare the cats are in such a deep sleep that they can hardly walk, but I wonder what she must have thought ?

She woke me up again before the sun rose to let her back downstairs, but I was feeling better then so I was able to let her down & go back to sleep. But I did get my period in my sleep & bled on a pair of underwear I liked & it really bothered me. I thought it would wash out no big deal but I must have bled shortly after going to bed because it was acting as though it was already really set in. I haven't given up, but I'm worried it's really not going to lift.

I ended up seeing the two flame breathing bromides I wanted listed in lots with other items & I was planning to get them but I wanted to make sure I'd ordered the cats' food & litter first, & while I was out smoking I got my new phone sim card so I thought transplanting the cards would be easy so I thought I could just do that really quick but it ended up taking a whole fucking hour & the whole thing was a shit show. First, my phone requires the key device to take out the sim card, which I don't have & they didn't give me so I had to look up online how the fuck I was even supposed to remove it & what ultimately worked for me was an earring back, though nearly destroying the earring all the while.

I was supposed to keep my original phone number & the directions said in order to activate the sim card I was just supposed to make a phone call, so I'd called my roommate but the call was fucked up. They ended up calling me back but didn't know who I was because the phone number was different & said it was Michigan ?? I checked & yeah, there was another phone number & I was pissed off so I called the provider number which it said to do if you needed help activating your sim card. The call won't go through so I end up having to call from the house phone & I'm on hold for an hour again before patched through to a dude representative who honestly was really rude, he was like saying I needed to call back on a different number because he couldn't hear me & I'm like how the fuck am I supposed to do that ?? I have a cellphone I can't use & my home phone, what other phone do you expect me to use ?? He basically says since I was on the phone with him he manually changed the number but idk if that's true because my step dad has the same service & he said his phone number just changed over after an hour. The dude ran some random troubleshooting with me to make sure the phone was working & I'd asked about the software update but he was saying it was only effecting the phone service & mobile data which sucks but like whatever, I guess it was just misunderstanding & wishful thinking on my end. He ended up telling me my phone was up to date with it's software & like no, it's not because my phone is succumbed to forced obsolescence & can't update any further since two years ago so he basically told me to go fuck myself. Which whatever because I get it's not his problem but like don't lie to me & say it's up to date when I know it's not. Especially because just the moment before he said it wasn't up to date... It just bothered me. I gave him a bad review just for that because wtf ?? There's no reason to lie to me when you can just educate me on what the actual problem is. Then I wouldn't've been mad at him but just disappointed with myself.

Then my step dad was worried because for some reason when he tried to call me to test if the phone service was working, I guess he couldn't call me ?? So we had to check the different facets of my phone to make sure the service really was working & imo it does seem like it's spotty now, it is acting a bit weird apparently. But thankfully the right number is applied to it again.

After all that I was going to buy those two bromides & of course they both sold by that point & I wanted to cry. I'm still holding out hope that maybe they will list together for a good price. Part of what made me nervous to buy those ones were although the items were listed in lots with other items, I didn't want any of the other items so it really wasn't worth it to me outside of the single bromides themselves.

I also ended up looking at Romwe because I got curious if I could get new cardigans from there & I'm so appalled by the inflation. Thirty dollars for a cardigan from a fast fashion brand ?? I'd love to say I think they'd be cheaper at Target or Walmart, but at this point with how intense the inflation actually is I'm concerned that's not actually true. I decided to look at lingerie while I was there because I feel like I have these ideas in my head but I feel like the types of things I want don't exist for easy. I also felt like just basic underwear was more expensive than when I had bought from them before.

Which that was actually where the good pair of underwear I just ruined was from. I was really hoping I could find underwear that was nearly the same, but of course not !

I saw some nice cups & bands that I liked. There was this article that was like a demi sports bra but with a keyhole chest so you peep the between boobs, but of course it was a bullshit material with that dumbass scalloped lace lining. There were some nice balconettes but I understand the strap placement is important to the lift offering & I'm saying I do not want the side straps. There must be a way to get the lift with that cup without having your armpits carved out. I'm thinking perhaps a v shaped end ? To attach to the outside like the balconette straps but then have one also attached more towards the front, meeting the main strap in the middle to go over the shoulder to keep it away from the armpit. Because idgaf who sees my strap as long as the boob is lifted... I really feel like I'm about to start making franken bras.

(hello mtv, welcome to my bra lab.)

I ended up getting a set from Mercari with money I wasn't able to cash in (out ?) before. Mercari was really weird because the sellers didn't follow the same format as the Depop ones where they only listed by shirt size, most of the ones I looked at actually applied the cup & band size. However, after I was looking at that really cute savage fenty sports bra & the person told me to check the website for the measurements, I ended up checking Aerie's measurements to see they had small listed as 32a/b & medium as 34b/c I think ? With that being said, everyone I saw on Mercari listing Aerie sports bras in size large were tagging them as 34c/d & I was thinking that didn't make any sense because their website says medium is 34 & large is 36 so how the fuck are they saying they're thirty fours ? I decided to trust the Aerie website, but then I'd seen a lot of three garments that idk what you call them, they're sheer cup with a longer crop top like band underneath. Bustier I guess ? I really wanted one but the lot was cheap. I was unsure because they were marked as 34b but the tags were visible & said medium. I decided to try it but I will feel a little distraught if they don't fit. Though I suppose I could just resell them ig. I'd also seen this one bra that blew my mind because it's the same exact bra I just sold the other week. I was devastated to sell it because I bought it when I could wear bs but it ran small so it didn't fit me but it was so fucking cute, it was fuchsia with that early two thousands trendy tribal / geometric pattern that I love so much in lilac & blue. I ended up taking the straps off the one I had to use for a different bra & sold it as a bandeau & this one was selling as a bandeau. I really thought the person selling it was the same person who bought it from me until I'd seen the one I'd sold wasn't marked as delivered yet & when I checked my sold listing, it was marked as a b & this one showed the tag as 34c. & it was super cheap ! So I bought it & I'm about to lose my fucking mind if it fits !!

But at least then I think this should be enough breast coverage, I should chill the fuck out lol

I'd also noticed studio announced Rengoku cafe is precursor for cafe themed for other hashira to come ! The merchandise teased currently really reminds me of the first hashira meeting goods, where everyone is seated in portrait by candlelight. There is a vast array of merchandise, which is very great & compelling to see. Though Rengoku get excluded from most sets sadly.

For this one I like the layered acrylic panels. Again, a little hard to see due to the product images being so small, they fit very in line with the upcoming hashira expressions & personalities event ! It is too bad we don't get to see Rengoku for this, though I would say, unless they were to create animations for the two backstory comics, we don't see enough new Rengoku moments to really make having him follow suit with the layered acrylic panel worthwhile. I love to see him, but when his moments can really be reduced to we've seen you two times, it does make reusing those same assets over & over become stale... So I really wish they would just make the animations for his backstory comics... It would definitely give a lot more material to work with when making new merchandise for him...

& ngl the new intro artwork for the random acrylic stand is so sad not to include Rengoku. To view everyone walking into the light, happy & smiling together & just not him. I'd felt before it's really sad & sucks Rengoku is the first hashira to die because everyone else you can get to know a little bit for time spent with them in hashira training or end battles, but realistically he's like shown to you & that's it.

I also like the first placemat hardcase (a), I like the way the hashira were included in that one, it felt new & appealing to look at. The other one might be very appealing as well, but product image is just too small for me to really make out what's happening... For the stand clips I think it's funny Rengoku & Uzui featured Kimetsu Academy. But I like to see it because it's interesting & refreshing to see more facets to the characters. I also like the hard case, but I admit that I don't know what it is lol

There's also another eatery campaign coming up that will feature Rengoku after the new year roll over. So he doesn't have a new art now, but I am hoping he will. Especially because honestly pov Rengoku gives you soup is one of my favorite images of him, I'm not super bummed out for food collaborations because sometimes the art really do be slapping, though I wasn't really for the other characters' ensembles, so I don't really have my hopes up lol

I am wonder if post will have another new years collaboration this year ? I would imagine they do since they have the past few years, last year included all the important characters seen so far, so I am wondering if it will be full cast or if it's just going to be the newer introduced important characters, letting the older characters go back by the wayside ? Though I am always rooting for Rengoku, I admit for some events I don't get too distraught if he isn't included because sometimes I feel like it's good I'm not fiending to collect such loot lol

But I do think I am going to try to get his stand clips on resale. The lot is too big to pull from for me to try from the studio. I'm sure Rengoku's are going to be stupid expensive though @.@

I started this post two days ago & tapped out mid post but then yesterday was so busy & such a headache I wasn't able to finish the post then. I was going to say I got another flame breathing bromide, so now there is only one I am watching for. It is on sale for a decent price now, but I am still kinda holding out to see if there's a reasonable lot with it. I also finally bought the accessories for the scrapbook(s). Though I am slightly worried because I am bad at measurements, I don't have a super informed idea what the size of the binder is or the inlets I bought for it. Though I was thinking further about extending to postcards & coasters.

I had noticed scrapbooking was made popular in the same vein the idol dolls were, cultivated by the kpop fans. I'd heard the bromides were made popular like trading cards, but I was also under the impression they were typical nineties disposable camera photo sized, yet I actually think the kpop bromides might be like trading card sizes ? Because when I was looking at the binders & accessories for the kpop adjacent scrapbooking, I noticed everything appeared to be smaller than my smaller regular printed photo sized bromides. Which is where my worry about size & measurements are coming from.

I seen they have these things they're calling “toploaders,” which I guess would be familiar to card collectors like that of Yugioh, Pokemon or Magic The Gathering. I guess they're just protective card sleeves ? They have pre-decorated transparent card holders with all kinds of designs, but when faced against the traditional photo sizes, it appears most of these are too small. Which idk, I suppose it's redundant anyway to want pre-existing outlines that weren't made from the heart, when the reality is I should be doing the decorating wholly myself.

I found the top loader slips that should fit the standard photo size that have holographic effects, I've seen sets of colored & designed paper for backgrounds in scrapbooking & all kinds of stickers. Also cold laminate with a number of different effects. My plan is to apply bromides into clear envelopes & decorate everything over the clear envelopes so I'm not actually defacing the actual bromides in anyway. After each bromide is edited, it will be inserted into the binder, where I can proceed to add additional decorations around the top & backs of the inserted images.

I'm also thinking I can print out Rengoku images, digital photo collages & make my own cold laminate stickers to add to the exterior collages per page.

I was telling my roommate about it & they sounded very excitable for me. It is something that may end up being a long work in progress, because not only is there thought in decorating every bromide but then pulling each page together, all the while likely acquiring more bromides, more stickers, more editing doodads.

So I keep planning my forward expenditures. I've still got my eyes for collecting new Rengoku merchandise that I've still yet to see post, but I think I am going to keep getting more doll clothes & craft supplies currently. But I've made five sales recently, one of them was really good money. Though I'm also feeling some kinda way because three of the bras I've ordered haven't arrived yet with no viable ETA apparently due to the hurricane Helene ? But the same thing has happened with that Vinted package I shipped what feels like two weeks ago now. It made it to Louisiana & just has not moved for a week.

Coinciding with this, my mom ended up bringing me a number of bags of items that's been sorted through. I'd say I kept half of the clothes, but I will soon be listing two lots of bras she had given me as well as a number of different styles of crop tops. She gave me two whole grocery bags of fragrances. I know they are seeing a crackdown now on resale, so I've at least found four I think are viable to sell that I don't want. There is a lotion that does not appear to be opened which should be fine, but at least two of the other items were perfumes that had been sprayed more than some of the ones she'd given me before that I've been using had been sprayed. So I'm definitely nervous to list them because I don't want to get hit with a pull, threat or reprimand.

I keep thinking lately I want to draw still, but I haven't pursued it. I mentioned being more comfortable with what Burger is up to now & it is freeing, but it also feels like the first time in months I haven't been constricted. I feel like I just want to loaf around & do nothing. I'm also thinking about maybe trying a new game I've bought that's sat untouched on the shelf or perhaps doing new games for Legend Of Mana or Pokemon Scarlet.

Of course there's always getting on more listing, crosslisting or working on sewing projects. Today I just want to have zero thoughts & melt into my bed.

Also as a footnote after a previously mentioned statement, I got that fuchsia bra & added the straps & it fits so perfect I feel like there aren't words ! It's like a balconette so nothing transgresses against the armpits, the cups are perfect & pull everything into me. It makes the bust look small in the regard everything is pulled & held close, but I couldn't get over the evenness & slightest squishing with the faintest divot of cleavage. My only complaint is the other one was like perfect condition. Because it's a bra with a built in lace lined bandeau over it, there were a couple spots where the bandeau was pulling away sloppily from the bra. But I suppose it doesn't matter because not only did I get an amazing fit, but I got to wear a bra that I've wanted for years :')

[technecat]

Uh, buckle up, it's a long one.

I got an upper endoscopy today. That's the one where they stick a camera down your throat and look at your esophagus and stomach and you have to do a full fast (not even water) beforehand. I can't tell you much about the procedure part because I was so exhausted that at the first hint of sedation, I was OUT. What I can tell you is how badly I messed up preparing for this thing that went perfectly, smoothly, 100% fine.

I have Anxiety. I like to give it the capital A out of respect, but also because it's part of GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which is my official diagnosis. Those of you with GAD probably know why I'm specifying, but those without are probably confused at why I'm specifically mentioning GAD instead of just anxiety. Pack in because we're talking about brain feelings and emotions for a sec.

So, GAD is a funky thing because it basically amounts to: A Low Level of Anxiety All The Time: But No Reason, Just Because. It's just like having a layer of anxiety on everything all the time, no triggers required (but things are still triggering! Trust me!). I take medication for it and have been for the past 20 years. It helps a lot! I live a pretty low-anxiety life with meds and the tools I've gained from therapy over the years. If I may toot my own dang horn, I am pretty good at handing my anxiety.

What I'm not good at handling is unknown experiences. I like to have trial runs of things. I like to practice. I also like to know as much as possible about a thing before I try doing it, so that I can have some modicum of control over my emotions and actions when I do it. Now, this isn't to say that I am not extremely adaptable to new situations because- whew- I can adapt to anything as a new normal in about a day, no problem. I'm great at mentally placing myself in a new situation ahead of time and getting comfy.

Which is why the sheer amount of anxiety that I endured in the 24 hours before my procedure was strange. I had already read up on the procedure, talked over the phone with the nurses, and planned out my preparation phase. I was not worried about it going poorly and I was only slightly concerned about being uncomfortable. "Normal people" amounts of anxiety over a new thing. NBD. Really, I wasn't nervous about the medical procedure at all.

What I was nervous about was...the fact that I should be feeling nervous about the procedure. And here's where GAD really gets ya'. The only anxiety trigger was that I was feeling too calm about the whole thing. And again, anxiety folks probably get me here, but it's freaking wild to realize that you are anxious because you feel like you have to be, and not because you have a reason to be. Like my brain was kicking me for slacking on my fight or flight.

Yesterday, the day before the procedure, was a fairly normal Monday for me. Back to classes, back to reminding students that it's not time to relax yet because our final project starts next week, trying to get them to critique each other's work even though it was Senior Skip Day (no one warned me) so a quarter of my students were gone. I was busy with grading and planning out next week, so I didn't really have a chance to think about being nervous for more than a few minutes. I even talked to a coworker at lunch who'd had the same procedure and walked away unscathed and unable to remember any of it.

By the end of the school day though, I could feel it setting in. I was getting a pretty bad migraine (unusual for me on a Monday; my chronic migraines are on a Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday cycle right now) so I guessed it was probably stress and went home right away to lie down.

I did not get back out of bed until this morning. My migraine attack got so bad I was nauseated most of the evening, which really isn't what you want when you can only eat solid food until 8 PM that night, but my brain and my stomach were fighting each other tooth and nail for no reason so I managed a few bits of a tortilla with cream cheese in it, some pear-apple sauce, and 4 oz of oat milk with a little protein mix in it. I topped it all off with a liquid antacid right at 8 so my efforts would not go to waste, and then was only allowed water until midnight.

A little aside here to say that I don't eat a lot but I take small meals quite often. I generally do: liquid breakfast, second breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, and sometimes another snack/light dessert if I can squeeze it in. I'm not able to eat solid food in general before 7am or after 8pm. All of this is a result of having a very fast metabolism and what I'd always been told was borderline hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). I always wake up extremely hungry and thirsty and sometimes even dizzy and cranky and can rarely wait more than an hour to have breakfast. If you're following along, you might guess what my next big problem was.

It's now 10 PM the night before and I have sipped a bit of water and taken my normal medication, but nothing else. I've been lying in bed reading WebToons for about 5 hours. Normally, I would already be asleep as I get up at 7 for work, but my appointment wasn't until 8:45 the next day so I decided- bear with me reader, I'm sorry, hindsight is 20/20- I decided to stay up as late as possible so I could force myself to sleep in until the last moment and not have to deal with feeling hungry.

I should count myself extremely lucky that I have had the great fortune in life to have forgotten that hunger makes it hard to sleep. I went to bed at midnight out of sheer exhaustion and woke up...at 7am when my alarm went off. I managed to fall back to sleep until the 7:30 "you're about to be late, leave now" alarm went off and my brain said OK, it's Tuesday let's go. I could not fall back to sleep and what sleep I had was not quality (you never get really good quality sleep from exhausting your brain into it).

So now I'm: hungry, dehydrated, about 3 hours underslept, and extremely, extremely tired and sore from the migraine I had the night before. (Another small aside: the last phase of a migraine attack is the postdrome a.k.a the hangover phase. It feels exactly like a bad hangover and mine usually last around 12-48 hours.)

I am so pissed off and exhausted I have tears in my eyes. I have royally screwed this whole thing up for myself already and it was only partially my fault (partially just bad migraine luck) which made me even angrier. It took me 10 minutes to get dressed because my postdrome brain fog + drowsiness + hunger meant I couldn't focus on anything, let alone finding clothes to put on my body. I kept snapping in and out of being nervous and being too tired to be nervous.

The 20 minutes in the waiting room is absolute torture on my migraine-fried brain. They have a morning news station on the TV that is blasting political attack ads and local news. It switches to a morning talk show with a lady who screams every word she says. Someone nearby is letting their kid play an iPad game with the volume all the way up. I have literally curled up on a chair shielding my eyes from the florescent lighting. My partner is there with me, but he can't do anything to help my brain stop being a stupid baby. I can't sleep because I can hear every damn noise and conversation in the room and see the lights through my eyelids. I was, as they say, extremely overstimulated.

When they call my name I hear it but my body refuses to move. My husband shakes me but it's still impossible for about 10 seconds. I mentally note that my blood sugar must be extremely low-- while simultaneously my partner mentions to the nurse that my blood sugar is low. I have trouble standing and have to lean on him until they get me a wheelchair. They take my blood sugar and it's fine. "It's actually very good! It's 93", chirps the nurse. I don't know what that number means because, like it mentioned, I was only ever diagnosed with borderline hypoglycemia and just always assumed my blood sugar was the problem.

The rest of the stay was uneventful. Like I said at the beginning, everything went smoothly, I don't remember anything from the actual procedure beyond being hooked up to an IV and told to lie on my side. I very briefly spoke with the doctor who apologized that I had a headache from my migraine and when I told him I was used to it he frowned and said, "I don't like that you have gotten used to it". Me neither, bud. But what I remember saying aloud was "it's fine, I'm fine".

I woke up back in the room I started in with my husband sitting in the same place and the nurses popping in and telling me to rest as long as I needed, but also I was good to go whenever "and eat soft foods for a while". I don't remember getting home, only that I had a smoothie and took a 4 hour nap immediately. I am hungry but otherwise unfazed.

Except...the blood sugar thing is still bugging me. And it was bugging me the whole time I was lying in the bed trying to let the IV do its job and chill me out. If it's not my blood sugar dropping that causes me to be so sluggish in the morning, or cease functioning properly if I don't eat every 2 hours (4 maximum) then what the heck have I been dealing with for 20 years?

I've only been diagnosed with chronic migraine since 2019 and they only started being chronic in my 30s; before that, attacks just happened occasionally. I had them misdiagnosed them as food poisoning and sinusitis several times. (If you get sinus headaches a lot, look into seeing an ENT and Neurologist, you might be surprised. And yes, migraine attacks can cause nasal congestion!) So, migraine doesn't seem like the long-term answer even if it may have been the reason why I had issues today. So I guess once we figure out what's wrong with my stomach, I'll need to go to the doctor again and figure out what's wrong with...whatever is wrong with me.

Anyway, I don't have a fun way to wrap up this story, I just wanted to share it with y'all.

[behindthewanderlust]

Hello! You popped up on my feed and I see you don't seem to have any requests yet, so I decided to try and help fill the requests void a little bit! ♡

Could I get some headcanons for the band with an s/o who loves affection, but rarely initiates it because they don't wanna bother anyone so sometimes they just kinda sit somewhere quietly for a while until the band members figure out the deal is? Thanks in advance!

Thank you SO much for sending in my first request. I’m still learning how to write these four, so I apologize if it isn’t the best.

This came out later than I wanted. Tumblr deleted the post and I had to rewrite some things T-T

But it’s here! I apologize for the wait

Hope you enjoy!!

Possible trigger warning for mentions of anxiety

————————————————————————

Russel Hobbs

As much as he loves affection, Russ enjoys having his personal space

You knew this, and were afraid that your affection may be making him feel uncomfortable or annoyed

You started to withdraw from Russ in an attempt to make him more comfortable in your relationship. You initiating kisses, hugs, cuddle sessions, etc., was far and few in between

He's not the most clingy guy so he wouldn't notice your behavior at first.

He just assumed that you were just like him!

As time went on, though, he began to pick up on something that was going on

Always a firm believer in communication, Russ would sit you down and ask you why you've been initiating less and less, if he's done anything to make you uncomfortable, and all that jazz.

Once he found out your reasoning, he hugged you tight

He told you that his misses your affection

And that just because he isn't one who wants to be touched 24/7, it doesn't mean he doesn't want your affection at all

Reassures you that although he does enjoy time to himself, it doesn't mean you're annoying or bugging him in anyway!

The two of you came up with a plan to communicate better so a situation like this wouldn't pop up again

He'd make sure to tell you if he wasn't up for contact so you'd be less worried about bothering him

You also promised to come to him if you felt this way, instead of withdrawing

When you two finished talking, he invited you to grab a bite to eat :)

2D

Probably the most clingy and affectionate out of all members

Bc of this, he'd pick up on what was going on quickly

May not know the exact reason for your withdrawal, but immediately notices you doing it

Confusion pops up first, followed by anxiety

He thought your relationship was going pretty well..?

He began to wonder if you weren't feeling well

Or if you weren't in the mood for physical touch

Or if you had been tired recently

Or if he did something to make you upset

Or if you didn't like holding him anymore

Or if you fell out of love with him

Or if-

Okay okay I'll stop but the point is, 2D does nothing but overthink the situation

He'd probably (unknowingly) start to initiate less and less himself!

Which would probably leave you confused

Now you're both confused and overthinking messes

You'd probably be the one who starts the conversation

Asking him why he's been looking so anxious and deep in thought recently

And then he just spills

Asking if he did something to make you upset

Why you've withdrawn from him

If you still even love him

And you immediately feel bad because you withdrew initiation because you didn't want to be a bother

And now he's upset!

It felt like a complete and total backfire on your end

You explained to him that you didn't want to bother him, so you started to initiate contact less

And he just looks at you like "WHAT???"

You already know how affectionate 2D is, so he's quick to knock those thoughts out your head

He just latches onto you and doesn't want to let go

He loves holding you

He loves when you hold him

He makes sure to repeat this over and over to you

He doesn't want you feeling like you're a bother

He needs you and your affection

Noodle

I hc her to be extremely observant

I feel like you have to be if you grew up the way she did

So l'd imagine she'd be the quickest out of all the members to catch on to what you were doing

And why you were doing it

She just didn't know how to bring it up without sounding confrontational

It was a conversation topic she did have to sit on for a few days

She did feel more and more lonely each day she didn't talk to you about what was going on

Noodle missed the hugs and cuddles :(

Don't get me wrong, she still gave you her love and affection, it just didn't feel right without you doing the same

She decided to talk to you during one of your movie nights

You had sat on the opposite side of the couch instead of sitting next to her like you usually do

So Noodle walked over to sit next to you

She told you she's noticed you initiating less contact

And that she assumes why you're doing it

And you confirm her assumptions - you don't want to be bother

Her face softened when she found out she was right

She felt awful knowing you were afraid of bothering her

The whole conversation was basically Noodle asking you questions

How long have you felt this way?

Was there anything I did or said to make you feel like you were a bother?

Why didn't you come to me about this earlier?

Bare with her, she hates seeing you feel this way

You answered all her questions thoroughly, apologizing for withdrawing

She asked for you to communicate with her more and come to her when you feel like this, which you agreed to

You asked her for some cuddles while you watched your movie and Noodle agreed, suddenly remembering that it was your movie night Imao

Murdoc Niccals

Murdoc isn’t the most affectionate guy

It just something he wasn’t used to

So you’re the one who initiated most of sfw contact

You learned that he didn’t like being affectionate in front of the band

So contact was mostly kept in his room or in the Winnebago

He found out he liked cuddling. He liked when you played with his hair

But he wouldn’t initiate it, that was on you

He would sometimes drop hints that he wanted to be hugged and you would pick up on it

He was finally comfortable enough to hold your hand

And he’d sometimes ask you to sit next to him while he played his bass

Since you mostly initiated, Murdoc noticed when you started to withdraw from him

Cue the internal panic

He hasn’t had many good things in life

Your relationship is probably his first serious one

And he’s afraid of fucking it all up

Not one to beat around the bush, he’s quick to confront you

He asks you not to leave him

And you’re like, “what makes you think I’m leaving??”

You’re told that you’ve been withdrawing a lot, so he assumed you were done with him

You tell Murdoc that you aren’t leaving, you just initiated less because you didn’t want to bother him

He has this “ohhhh” moment or realization

He appreciates you not wanting to make him uncomfortable

But he still misses you

He told you that he’s fine with being touched

And that he wouldn’t mind you doing it again

In fact, he wishes things would go back the they way they were

You picked up on the fact he was trying to say he missed your affection without directly saying it

You apologized for withdrawing and he accepted it, you only had good intentions

He told you that he’d try to be more affectionate

And you said you’d do the same

It did take some time for things to go back to the way they used to be though

You still had the lingering feeling that you were bothering him, despite knowing that wasn’t the case

And it took him some time to be more affectionate but he did put the work in

The two of you appreciated the effort the other was putting in

The day he asked you to cuddle with him is what made all the work worth it

It was like you both reached a new step in your relationship

It definitely took some time, but you both got there with enough determination <3

————————————————————————

That’s it for my first request! I hope it was good! Writing this was definitely a challenge, but it was a welcome one <3

Again, thanks for sending the request in!

[allthingsfangirl101]

The Only Cure–Steve Harrington

Wattpad request by Harringtonswife-

In the eighties, no one talks about their mental health. You're either healthy or insane. I tried talking to my parents about it but my dad doesn't believe in all that "mumbo jumbo". My mom told me it was all in my head and if I stayed there, she'd have to send me to a mental hospital.

The only person who responded in a positive and supportive way was my best friend, Steve Harrington. When I told Steve that I was struggling and wasn't able to fix it or get out of the dark hole I seem to continually throw myself into, he was the one who suggested that I might be struggling with depression. He then wrapped me in a hug and promised that he would always be there to pull me out.

Even though Steve was extremely supportive, I found myself a little hesitant to run to him. After I told him, he slowly started to change. He constantly checked on me, jumped to protect me before anything happened, and eagerly helped me with anything no matter how small.

Our friends didn't notice Steve's change. He always seemed crazily protective of me to them. They aren't wrong, but I've noticed his changes. At lunch, he started draping his arm across the back of my chair.

I was worried our friends would notice and, most importantly, notice how it made my whole face burn. All of that would disappear when I started getting anxious and Steve would move his arm from my chair to my shoulders. I don't know how he always knew when I needed his comfort, but he did. Without fail.

Today was no different. The day started with my alarm not going off and having to get ready in ten minutes. Then my mom's car wouldn't start so my dad had to drop me off at school before he went to work. It only got worse from there.

First period, I could barely stay awake. Second period, I had forgotten we had a math test and I definitely failed it. Then I got paired with the dumbest player on the basketball team for our history project and he was more focused on flirting with me than getting any work done. Now I was heading to lunch.

"Hey, you," Steve said the second I sat down. "You okay?"

"She got paired with Andy for the history project," Carol laughed.

"That sucks!" Tommy laughed.

"I bet he's going to flirt with you the whole time," Carol fake gagged. "Then again. . . He's pretty cute."

"She could do better," Tommy scoffed. "Right, Harrington?"

Steve reached under the table and grabbed my hand. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "If he gives you any problems, tell me."

"Steve," I started but he cut me off.

"I mean it, Y/N. If he says anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or, I swear, if he touches you. . ."

"Dude, chill," Tommy laughed. "He hasn't even done anything yet. They just got assigned today. Wait until next week to kill him."

Steve rolled his eyes and went back to eating without letting go of my hand. He looked over, his eyebrows fluttering in confusion.

"Why aren't you eating?" He asked softly. "Aren't you hungry?"

"I am," I said, clearing my throat.

"Then why aren't you eating?" Steve pushed.

"I was running late this morning and didn't have time to make my lunch," I explained under my breath.

I looked up at him when he pushed his lunch between the two of us.

"What are you. . ."

"Eat," he said.

"But Steve. . ."

"If you think I'm letting my best friend starve, you're crazy," Steve laughed as he ate a grape.

"Skipping lunch is not going to make me starve," I giggled, hiding my blush. I looked away and cleared my throat when I saw Carol's knowing smirk.

"Oh," Steve said in the middle of Carol and Tommy's latest fight. "Dustin wants to know if you're coming to watch their D&D campaign tonight."

"I don't know why you guys spend so much time with those kids," Tommy scoffed. "They're a bunch of little. . ."

"Don't finish that sentence," Steve cut him off, his voice changing. I squeezed his hand that I was still holding under the table.

"So?" He asked as he turned toward me, his tone changing again. "You in?"

"Sure," I shrugged. "Although I'm a little surprised you want to go sit in the Wheeler's basement and watch them play D&D."

"To be honest, I'm not going to watch them play," Steve said, not looking at me.

"Then why are you going?" Carol asked, almost sounding like she knew the answer to that.

Steve looked up and glared at her. He then saw me watching him and softened his glare.

"I'm going to hang out with you," he said, his cheekbones slightly turning pink.

"We hang out all the time," I giggled, eating some of the cheese Steve packed.

"And he just can't get enough," Carol said sweetly.

I looked away when Tommy started to 'aw' but it turned into a gag. I started to let go of Steve's hand, but his hold on mine tightened.

"Do you hear yourself?" Tommy asked harshly. "You two are best friends. You blow us off all the time to be with her. How many times have you skipped a party because Y/N wasn't going to be there? Or she needed someone to help her study. Or that lame excuse you always use that you'd rather spend time with her."

"I would rather spend time with Y/N than with you," Steve said, his anger building.

"You're practically glued to her hip," Tommy scoffed. "I'm surprised she doesn't know that you. . ."

I stood up and quickly ran out of the cafeteria. Steve and Tommy have been fighting a lot more over the years. Each time they start, so does my panic attack. I ran to the bathroom, locking myself in a stall.

A few seconds later, I heard the door open. I held my breath, waiting for them to leave.

"Y/N?" Nancy's voice echoed through the bathroom. "I saw you run in here. You okay?"

When I didn't respond, she added, "Steve's looking for you. He seems really worried. There's no one else in here so I'm sending him in."

I heard soft footsteps walking toward the stall I was hiding in. I looked down and instantly recognized Steve's sneakers. I took a shaky breath when he knocked.

"Y/N," he whispered. "Please open the door."

With shaking hands, I opened it. I instantly wrapped my arms around myself, stepping away from the door.

"I'm sorry about running away," I stuttered under my breath. "You know how I get when you and Tommy start fighting. I hate that it always sends me into a panic attack, but I can't control it."

Steve grabbed my arms and pulled me into his chest. He sighed as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry we started fighting in front of you," he whispered. "I just hate how they treat you. It infuriates me when Tommy makes our friendship seem like a joke. Next time, just punch me in the arm and I'll stop."

"I'm not going to hit you," I said with a small giggle. I tightened my arms around him as I added, "I could never hurt you."

                                * * * * *

Over the next couple of days, I struggled with my depression. I started having mini panic attacks every day. Steve caught most of them, and with each one he stopped, a worse one was hiding until he wasn't around.

I woke up today, stuck in my pit of depression. I spent the morning, not able to put a smile on my face. I hid my face behind my textbooks and notes. No one seemed to care. But then again, I don't see Steve until lunch. The class before lunch, I looked down and my hands started shaking. I was starting to have a panic attack and I couldn't stop it.

As soon as the bell rang, I jumped up and left the classroom. "Geez. Slow down, weirdo."

I looked up, my heart jumping into my throat when I saw Carol and Tommy standing in front of me.

"Off to your dear Stevie?" Carol cooed.

"We all are," I mumbled, tightening my arms around my books. "We're going to lunch."

"When are you going to admit that you're obsessively in love with him?" Tommy scoffed.

"What?" I stuttered. "I don't know. . . It's not. . ."

"Aww!" Carol giggled. "It's so cute that she pretends she doesn't know."

"Steve and Y/N, sitting in a tree," Tommy started singing. As they sang the rest of the song, they started dancing around me.

"What are you guys doing?" Steve asked as he ran over. He brushed past Tommy and grabbed my hand, slightly pulling me behind him.

"We weren't doing anything," Carol sighed, rolling her eyes.

"It didn't look like nothing," Steve scoffed. "It looked like you were. . ."

"Stop," I whispered. "Please, Steve. Stop."

"Y/N," he said, turning around to face me. I looked at his soft eyes and then at the knowing, judgy looks of his friends. I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled my hand out of his and turned on my heel.

"Wait!" Steve yelled but I didn't stop.

I didn't stop until I got to my car. I drove home and pulled into my usual spot. I turned off my car with shaking hands. I slowly got out, barely able to get my breathing under control. I froze when I turned and saw Steve jogging up the driveway.

"I told you I was fine."

"I know," he smiled at me. "But I also know the signs that you're stuck in one of your depression episodes. And if I don't act fast, you'll just go deeper into it."

"I don't know why you feel like you have to act," I said, looking down at my feet. Steve stepped toward me and gently lifted my head.

"Because you're my best friend," he whispered. "It's my job."

"Steve. . ."

"I know what I can do to cheer you up."

"Please don't," I sighed.

"Take the old records off the shelf," he started to sing. "I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself. Today's music ain't got the same soul. I like that old-time rock 'n' roll."

I giggled and playfully pushed him. He caught my arm and pulled me into my chest.

"So now are you going to tell me what Carol and Tommy said to you?"

"It's not a big deal. . ."

"Y/N," Steve said knowingly. "Talk to me."

"They were making jokes about me going to find you," I explained. Before he could ask why that would send me into an anxiety attack, I continued, "Then Tommy pointed something out that I realized he was right about."

"What did he point out?" Steve asked.

"That maybe. . . That there's a possibility that I. . . I doubt it's the same for you but. . ."

"Hey," he whispered. He gently wrapped his arms around my waist and smiled down at me. "What did Tommy point out?"

"He suggested," I said slowly, "that I might. . . have feelings for you."

Steve's breath got caught in his throat as he studied me. He loosened his arms, taking a small step back.

"Do you?" He asked under his breath.

"Maybe? I'm not sure, honestly. . . Would it be a bad thing?"

Steve smiled as he reached up and gently cupped my face in his hand. "I guess not," he whispered. "Especially because I might have feelings for you."

"You do?"

I held my breath as he slowly leaned in. He stopped when his nose pressed against mine. I felt lightheaded when his breath touched my face. He slowly leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. The lightheadedness got worse as our lips touched.

"Of course I do," he whispered, breaking the kiss. "Would it be a bad thing?"

"I guess not."

[nofoundboy]

Could you write a steve Harrington x ftm reader fluff? Where the reader comes out after Steve and them have gotten closer. Masc pronouns aswell please :)

I hope you like it 💖 I absolutely loved making this

"Hello" a slight smile is present on Steve's lips and those brown eyes that you like so much look at you with a sweetness that you don't think possible in anyone else.

The truth is that you would look more closely at this kind of details if it weren't for the fact that you are extremely nervous. Your hands are sweating and your mouth feels drier than any desert.

You invited Steve over to watch movies together alone. Not that you didn't like being with Robin, Dustin or Eddie, but sometimes you just wanted to be alone with Steve. Especially after realizing the kind of feelings you harbored for him.

You and Steve had kissed on only one occasion, once when things had gotten pretty honest in the woods.

And in spite of that, neither of you had tried to do anything else, you mainly because of the issue that had you terribly mortified and anxious that afternoon.

You knew how trustworthy Steve was, how attentive, pleasant and cute, but you didn't know how he would react to your news.

For quite some time you had noticed how uncomfortable it made you to be referred to by female pronouns, or how terrible you found it to be to be called by your full name. Socializing as what you weren't was killing you and you knew you had to tell someone. And Steve was that perfect someone.

As you prepared the popcorn, sodas and other snacks, you kept thinking about how it would affect the little thing you had together. Would Steve still like you if you confessed to him what you were? Would he still support you? Would he tell anyone? Even though you knew it was highly unlikely that Steve would treat you badly for it, it was still terrifying to think about telling someone after keeping it to yourself for so long.

"So...Friday the 13th?" Steve asked from the living room, holding up the tape. That snapped you out of your musings and you decided to return at last, with everything you needed on a tray.

Steve took the soda and helped you pour it while you put the snacks on the coffee table.

Your hands were shaking and you were very thankful that Steve didn't notice. One part of your brain urged you to get it over with, while the other insisted that it was better to be cautious and wait.

The movie went on without your mind giving you a break, so you decided it was time to rip the band-aid off the wound, or your mind would never shut up.

"Steve...I have to tell you something" you paused the movie and the brown-haired man's look changed immediately. Steve knew perfectly well that when a person said that, a serious conversation was always coming and he hoped with all his heart that it wasn't anything bad.

Also, the optimistic part of his being hoped it was about deciding to have an established relationship.

His eyes were wide open, attentive to whatever you had to say and in no mood to rush you or stop listening to you.

"I'm a guy" you blurt out, regretting the next minute that you didn't say it more tactfully.

You notice the way Steve's gaze freezes, confused by what just left your lips.

The delay in his response prompts you to explain yourself, as you place a tentative hand on his shoulder.

"I don't...I don't feel right like this, ok? I'm certain I'm a man, no matter what I look like. I know I am" the conviction in your voice lets Steve know that this is a similar situation to Robin's, only, given the town you live in, it's quite difficult to fully understand it.

Steve's mind spins, trying to comprehend what you just told him. It's strange to him cause he's never heard of such a case before, but of course, it's you and he can't imagine cutting you out of his life just because of his confusion. He loves you so much that he notices the way your eyes are searching for a way out.

You're thinking of all the negative possibilities of his reaction until he wraps you in his arms.

You cling to him trying not to cry with happiness.

"So...what's your name now, do you want to go get your hair cut? We can also go shopping, or I can give you some of my clothes" you know it won't be so easy for him to assimilate, but the way he takes the news, helping you almost instinctively, lets you know you made the right decision.

You kiss his cheek softly. He will always be there for you.

[forever-emo-phase]

Mission Status: Sick!

Notes: Hello this is my first fic for Sanders Sides! It is inspired by @illogicallyinclined​‘s hockey AU! If you haven’t ever gotten into it, do it! However, you can still read even if you don’t know anything about the AU! Characters: Virgil, Logan

Ship: The whole thing is pretty much just analogical pining Warnings: Panic attack is described Genre: Just guys being dudes being gay. Fluff maybe? It’s not sad and that’s all I can tell you. Summary: Which is how Virgil arrived at his current situation, Logan tensely sitting at his desk in the middle of the night with shoulders so tight he looked like he was seconds away from shattering.

'It's a good thing that my homosexuality is stronger than my pride', Virgil thought as he opened a capri sun and violently squeezed it onto his sheets.

Check it out on Ao3 here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/33804841

Anxiety sucks. Virgil’s nails are always bitten down to the quick, hands never still, and the insides of his cheeks chewed and raw. If Virgil had to find a bright side, it would have to be his ability to read people. With just a look, Virgil could tell by the slump of his shoulders when Roman needed a little bit of extra praise. He would notice the redness around Patton’s eyes and know that he would need more company than normal. 

But the one person Virgil prided himself on seeing was Logan. It was almost second nature for him to sense the tension in Logan’s shoulders without even looking, he could almost feel it in the air. He could see when Logan needed to get out of his head and stop pushing himself before he broke. 

Dealing with Logan’s emotions, however, was slightly harder. If his approach was too physical, like he would approach Patton, Logan would withdraw. If he tried to take the same approach he would with Roman, showering compliments tempered with a light bit of teasing, Logan would get uncomfortable and retreat.

Which is how Virgil arrived at his current situation, Logan tensely sitting at his desk in the middle of the night with shoulders so tight he looked like he was seconds away from shattering.

'It's a good thing that my homosexuality is stronger than my pride', Virgil thought as he opened a capri sun and violently squeezed it onto his sheets. 

The thing with Logan is that he doesn’t care about himself. He will push himself to his limit and keep going, but, if someone else needs something? He will help as much as he can, even though sometimes it may not be overly obvious that he is helping.

“Hey Logan?” Virgil says from across the room, staring at his now soaked bedding. 

“Yes, Virgil?” Logan doesn’t look up from his computer as he sharply replies. For a moment Virgil wonders if this scheme was the best idea, it could fail horribly and Logan could be angry and refuse. But, the wheels were already in motion, his sheets were already wet, and there was no turning back.

“I fucked up.” He said plainly, watching as Logan’s head turned so fast to look at him that he was surprised that he didn’t hear a crack. Realizing how ominous his statement was, Virgil raised his hands and quickly spat out a placating “No it’s okay i’m fine!”

Logan let out a sigh before replying “What did you manage to do that was so dramatic that it required that statement, while I was sitting in the same room, only a handful of feet away from you?”

“Well…” Virgil started, choosing his words very carefully to make sure his plan could not fail. “I was panicking a little bit while I was drinking my Capri Sun and I squeezed it a little bit too hard. It spilled on my sheets and my bed is soaked now.” 

Logan’s eyes assessed Virgil, making him momentarily wonder if his lie was believable. Did his dishonesty show on his face? Was Logan about to get angry and yell at him? His hands began to shake slightly and his breathing picked up and, he thought wryly, at least now he wasn’t lying about being anxious. His fears were eased when he saw the slight softening of Logan’s face. 

“Oh Virgil,” Logan huffed out, his face morphing into an expression of fond exasperation, “You need to stop having drinks in your bed, especially ones of the extremely spillable and sugary type.”

Virgil shrugged, “It is what it is, you know?”

“It does not have to be the way that it is?” Logan said with a hint of confusion sneaking into his voice. “You can very easily change the circumstance.”

A small chuckle escaped from Virgil as he watched his roommate struggle to wrap his head around the statement. Logan was extremely smart, that was obvious, but watching him puzzle out modern slang and sayings struck Virgil as endearing every time. “It’s too late to change it now, you know?”

“You are correct.” Logan intoned and Virgil could already see some of the tension leaving Logan’s shoulders as he began to relax during the conversation. “Do you have a plan for drying your bedding before it is time for you to sleep?”

“Not at all.” Virgil said as he absentmindedly brought his hand to his mouth to bite his nails, but stopped as Logan let out a soft click of his tongue as a reprimand. As he lowered his hand, he absent-mindedly wondered if Logan was even aware that he had made the sound. Either way, Virgil found it incredibly sweet. “I’ll probably just sleep on the floor. My pillow is dry.”

Virgil made a show of picking up his pillow and feeling around for a dry blanket so that he could make a temporary bed on the floor, however, he was quickly interrupted.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Logan scolded lightly, “You can sleep in my bed. I will be up for a significant while longer doing work, it is no problem at all.”

Everything was falling into place for Virgil and he had to resist the urge to steeple his fingers together like a Bond villain. But his work was not finished, there was still one more task- Get Logan In The Bed.

“Dude no!” He exclaimed, “I’m not taking your bed! You’ve gotta sleep at some point!”

“Virgil,” Logan sighed, “I have a lot of work to do that I need to get done soon. I was actually planning to get up and pour myself some more coffee.”

Shit. If Logan got caffeine into his system, it was game over. His plan would fail and he would just be in Logan’s bed, and while that wouldn’t be the worst thing, it was not the plan. Panicking, he blurted out a quick “No!”

“No?” Logan said with a raised eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

‘Now or never’ Virgil thought to himself, before delivering the line that had inspired the whole plot.

“I wouldn’t feel okay with taking your bed, just in case you decided to sleep. Could we just share for the night?”

Logan looked puzzled, “I suppose, but I have already told you that I am not necessarily planning on sleeping tonight.”

“I know but.. I would feel bad.” Virgil said, his anxiety rising now that he was this far into the plan and there was truly no turning back. “Could you just… Would you just lay down for a minute? It would make me feel better.”

Judging by Logan’s expression, Virgil was convinced that he had lost Logan. His plan had failed and he felt a burn of shame in his chest, clenching his eyes shut. God he was so stupid! He should have just refused the offer to take Logan’s bed and slept on the floor! He should have not even tried this stupid plan! Virgil had not noticed his breathing picking up and his fingernails burying themselves into his palms as his thoughts spiraled into a pit of anxiety. He had not noticed until Logan’s voice washed over him.

“Virgil?” He said, somehow both softly and with authority. “Name five things you can see.” Virgil pried his eyes open, not really remembering when he had closed them. “Bed. Computer. Shoes. Water bottle. Posters.”

Logan nodded his head, with a small smile. “You are doing very well. Now four things you can touch.”

“Uhhh…” Virgil hesitated, eyes darting to Logan, “Sheets. Pants. My hair. Wet blanket.”

“Good job. Three things that you can hear now.” 

“Your voice. The air conditioner. Our obnoxious neighbors.” His breathing had started to slow and he could feel his body relaxing.

“Two things you can smell, you’re almost there.”

“Capri sun from my sheets and your disgusting coffee.”

“Last thing, one thing you can taste.” 

“Toothpaste.” With his breathing regulated and feeling calmer, Virgil smiled wryly back at Logan. “I’m sorry. That was… sudden.”

“You are perfectly fine. I have reassured you multiple times that I do not mind helping you.” Logan said soothingly. “Why don’t we go lay down? You are typically quite tired after these events.”

“Yeah… that sounds good.” Virgil said as he stood to move to Logan’s bed, straightening his sleep pants and he went. “Do… are you going to lay down too?”

Logan hummed, walking to his laptop to shut the lid, as well as flipping the main lights in the room off.  “Yes I suppose that I can for a moment. Just to assure you that I do not mind that you are in my bed.”

Virgil lifted the sheets of the bed and crawled under, scooting over so that he was next to the wall, leaving space for Logan to enter. “Alright. I promise I won’t keep you too long.”

“Well.” Logan said as he joined Virgil under the sheets, “I, in all honesty, could use the sleep.”

Virgil smiled at Logan with a soft “Good night then.”

“Good night Virgil.” Logan whispered, reaching up to turn off the light next to his bed, plunging them both into darkness.

The next time Virgil opened his eyes, the sun was shining through the window of the room and his head was resting on Logan’s shoulder. One of Logan’s strong arms was wrapped across Virgil and Virgil could hear Logan’s soft breathing against his ear.

Slowly reaching into his pocket so as to not disturb Logan, Virgil pulled out his cellphone, which was at 9%, and quickly snapped a picture before sending it to Remy with a simple caption.

“Mission accomplished.”

 (And that is the end! Feedback is very appreciated!)

[zemodaddy]

Hey so i finally completed the first chapter of the zemo x reader fanfic. Make sure to read the authors note at the end and i hope you enjoy.!

Synopsis:

Y/n is an ex-avenger who, after the blip was forced to work for the US government. You trained to be an assassin/spy and your gifts of wielding flames made you invaluable. When you were assigned to follow Bucky you find him helping Helmut Zemo escape from his prison cell. What is he up to? Should you stop him?

Warnings: violence, lots of swearing, angst, fluff and in later chapters extreme acts of hatred towards John Walker :)

Shades of Him

They replaced him. They replaced him with a random guy and stuck Steve’s shield on him. You were staring at the TV in disbelief. You thought of Steve like a brother and he definitely wouldn’t have wanted this.

After the blip you had no job, the avengers pretty much all separated and that left you without anything to do, and that meant no income and no income meant no home or food. You couldn’t exactly find a normal job because most people were afraid of you. A trained assassin and spy who could wield flames wasn’t really considered normal. That left you with no choice but to accept the deal the US government offered you. Do their dirty work and you wont end up homeless.

Your newest mission was to track Bucky to make sure he followed the rules set upon him for his pardon. You are close to him, like you were close to Steve. Hiding the fact that you were following him everywhere he went was kind of hard but you managed. You had to manage.

So finding him and Sam visiting a German prison kind of surprised you. Had this got to do with his therapy? Surely not. They left around an hour later and from then nothing more suspicious happened. A quick google search and a deep dive into some public records showed that a high security prisoner resided at this prison. Not just anyone. Zemo.

Interesting you thought. Later that night you followed Bucky and Sam to an old garage. You waited outside for 5 minutes before entering, trying to keep to the shadows of the room. The two men seemed to be in the midst of a heated discussion. “You want Zemo to help us?” Sam looks exasperated. Bucky looks a bit apprehensive as he says “Look let me walk you through a hypothetical, can I do that?” He begins to explain an elaborate escape plan for Zemo. Your mind was wizzing with thoughts as you tried to figure out your next move. He really isn’t in the right headspace, same old Bucky, you roll your eyes. “What are you guys doing?” You step out of the darkness. The two seemed to jump out of their skin, clearly not expecting you to be there.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” Bucky asks. They both looked so shocked by your sudden appearance that you had to suppress a laugh. “I was following you.” He doesn’t look happy. “YOU WERE FOLLOWING ME?” He raises his voice. You weren’t scared because you knew he loved you really. Keeping the same tone as him you shout back “YES AND YOU’RE HELPING A CRIMINAL” “I SAID HYPOTHETICALLY DIDN’T I”. Sam looks like he could start laughing any moment. You weren’t even sure if you should laugh or arrest them. Suddenly your phone buzzes. “Then please explain to me why I just got a message saying that ZEMO HAS ESCAPED FROM PRISON?” Sam looks mad now. “You’re kidding me Bucky” he says. “Look we don’t have any other leads, we were at a dead end.”

You knew that the two were looking for information on the new super soldiers serum. “He blew up the UN, he killed king T’Chaka!” Before Bucky could reply to Sams argument, the sound of a door shutting sounds through the garage and guess who walks in. Helmut fucking Zemo. Your hand flies immediately to the dagger on the side of your thigh. “Woah woah woah” Sam starts walking towards him as Bucky tries to hold him back. Too bad he didn’t see you slip past them and push Zemo against the wall with said dagger against his throat. “Your going back to prison” you pass him a sickly sweet smile. He looked surprised by you holding him against that wall but didn’t fight back. Not with the blade in your hand starting to heat up against his skin. “y/n let him go” Bucky looks frustrated.

“He can lead us closer to the serum, just let him breath for a second” Zemo did start to look a little breathless. Good, he should be scared of you. Reluctantly you let him go. He starts to talk “if I may”. At the same time the three of you go “NO”. He looked a little displeased by the response but didn’t have any other option but to oblige. “Apologies”. After further debating and a lot of disagreements you and Sam finally agree to trust Zemo.. for the time being anyways. “Alright Zemo, where do we start”

You mentally set a reminder to always have an eye on Zemo, how could you not with a guy like him. He seemed to be sending you anxious glances in return, which to be fair you did nearly choke him to death. He leads you to a large warehouse containing numerous cars of different ages, sizes and colours. Probably stolen you think. After grabbing a case full with clothes for zemo you all head to an airstrip. In the middle of which was a private jet. You look at it in awe. “So you were rich all this time?” Sam asks. “I’m a baron Sam, my family was royalty before your friends destroyed my country”. Shit. Those cars weren’t stolen then..

The mention of his country makes you think back to that battle against ultron. You were very tempted to leave the avengers after nearly wiping out the entirety of a population of a country. But they convinced you to stay, where else could you have gone anyway? You think a little longer about the aftermath, when you helped after the battle with the injured, and loved ones finding their dead. It was one of the saddest moment of your life, until the blip. No one else helped from the avengers, they didn’t even visit the memorial..

“Y/n you coming?” Sam was saying from the top of the stairs. Lost in thought you were stood in front of the plane. Maybe I should stop getting distracted you thought. Entering the jet the seats on the right were already occupied by Sam and Bucky, leaving the only other seat opposite Zemo free. Great. As a gentle reminder you check your dagger on your thigh, almost like a warning that if he tries anything he’ll know what’s coming. Zemo swallows looking where it would be and ask his butler person for a drink. Was that his butler or the pilot? Rich people problems you thought. The plane sets off and you look out of the window daydreaming a little.

The other three talk lightly until the mention of Buckys list, which ends in zemo being choked yet again. You smile a little, enjoying the mini acts of revenge for the people he’s hurt and killed. You feel a bit sleepy but then they start to discuss where you were going. “Do we want to live in a world full of people like the red skull” Zemo shakes his head lightly “that’s why we’re going to Madripoor”. Confused, Bucky explains the place’s history in the Indonesian archipelago. “It’s kept its lawless ways but we cannot go in as our selves” Zemo says. Uh oh that can’t be good.

You were right. Zemo had handed you a bag full of clothes and a pair of heels. You stared at yourself in the full length mirror that resided in the toilets. “You have got to be kidding me” you say aloud. Your were wearing a dark purple silky dress that reached only just halfway down your thigh. It exposed most of your arms, shoulders and a lot of your chest. Thankfully there was a black leather jacket in the bag too, however on the shoulders sat a blanket of fur, similarly to Zemos coat that he took from the warehouse. Your heels were also purple. You thank the lord you took the time to train in heels too because you never know when the situation arises when you happen to find yourself in those monstrous shoes.

“This” you point at yourself “is not happening”. “Ah my baroness has arrived” Zemo says, amusement glinting in his eyes. You glared at the word ‘baroness’. “Here put this on darling, to finish it off”. He holds what seems to be a lipstick in his hand. You already knew what shade it was before taking it from him. “Do you have some thing for purple or is that just me?” Sam and Bucky both laughed.

You had to admit, the dress didn’t look bad, in fact it looked expensive. To say you were uncomfortable was an understatement, not necessarily for what you were wearing, but for the hand now draped around your waist. Zemos hand. He said that no matter what, you couldn’t break character. Bucky was playing the role as the winter soldier; you felt bad for him, the memories this must bring up. You can’t even begin to imagine. Sam however, wore an extravagant and abstract red suit that kind of looked like a dress. It was funny to see his reaction to which he comments that he looked like a “pimp”.

A car pulls up beside you and you all pile in. Of course you were sat next to zemo in the back. After around five minutes you arrive in lowtown. A place where you could apparently find a gall called Selby. That hand snaked back around you as you intermingle with the crowded streets. The high density of the crowd forced you even closer to Zemos side leaving practically no space between you now. You could feel his warm body against yours, sending a shiver down your spine. He looks down on you. His eyes seem to be softer now than they were before and he gives you a quick kiss on the temple as if to reassure you that you’re safe. You tried to keep yourself from shaking him off of you but as you carried on walking, you got used to him a bit more. Sam and Bucky followed the two of you, both with grim faces.

Finally, you come to a bar, most people around you watching carefully as you all enter. Zemo orders the both of you a shot and Sam gets his usual. This turned out to be something containing whatever the barman cutout of a snake. The sight of it made your stomach drop, and to your astonishment, Sam actually drank it. He looked like he wanted to be sick but, no matter what he had to stay in character. Bucky gave a slight nod, he didn’t get a drink, not as the winter soldier.

You had let it be known of who you wanted to see and as you waited a man came up behind Zemo and you. He immediately guided you away from this man so he was in front of you and Zemo in front of the man. He knew you could hold your own, you had made that clear already, but he wanted to protect you. For the act of course. “You ain’t welcome here” the man stated, placing a hand roughly on zemos shoulder as he turned to face him. “I have no business with the powerbroker, but if he insists he can either talk to me” Zemo points at Bucky. His hand then slipped to yours, holding it tightly. “Or bring Selby for a chat”. The man looks displeased and walks away. You had many things you wanted to say to Zemo at this moment, but sticking to your character was more important. As he continued to grip your hand, other men started to menacingly prowl towards you all. Zemo gave Bucky the order to attack and so he did. A fight quickly broke out between them all but Bucky was far too strong for them all. This ended in Bucky holding one of the guys that remained standing against the bar table. Finally someone called to say selby was ready to see your group. This was going to be interesting.

Notes

Okay i left this on a little bit of a cliffhanger but the next chapter should be out in a day or so. This is my first fanfic i have published so I’m interested to see what everyone thinks. If there’s any spelling or grammar mistakes then umm you didn’t see anything. I hope you enjoyed!

@killsandthrills @aisling1985 @booklover2929 @arianalilyblack @your-pixels-are-showing @kenna-1904

[sunshineseung]

Journal Part 4 // Jeongin

🍄 | genre: smut mini-series ☁️ | pairing: Yang Jeongin x female!reader 🌿 | wc: 5.8k holy shit i am so sorry- 🌸 | includes: milf!reader x babysitter!college student!jeongin, plot 🤢🤮, smut within smut (mentions of marking, pet names/degrading names), anal toys (plug), jeongin wears feminine underwear, nipple clamps, mentions of rule breaking/punishment, begging, face sitting, praise, degradation, mentions (not use) of safe word, pegging, the obvious overuse of the word “mommy” and “ma’am”, aftercare, buttered pasta :)

🌊 | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Finale |

The sound of his own foot tapping was enough to make him more anxious than he already was, and the light shining through the window directly onto his shiny desk to reflect on his eye wasn’t helping. He’s practiced the conversation a million times over in his head. The plan was simple: class ends, ask Professor Lee about his missing journal, and get it back. How hard could it be?

Evidentially, pretty damn hard. All throughout class, Professor Lee was staring at Jeongin, picking on him when no one else would answer easy questions, and overall making his life a living hell just by his presence. 

“Yang Jeongin, come see me.” Minho sighs, adjusting his glasses as he looks up at the clock on the wall of his classroom. “The rest of you are dismissed.” 

Ending class 15 minutes early was extraordinarily unusual for Professor Lee, but the other students hardly batted an eye as they collected their belongings and shuffled out of the room, leaving as Jeongin stepped up to his professor’s desk. He was practically sweating bullets at this point, all of his plans flowing out of his head with every step. The glare Professor Lee was giving Jeongin was intimidating to say the least, but Lee Minho knew all too well what he was going to say.

“You wanted to speak to me, sir?” Jeongin tilts his head, standing over his professor, giving the illusion that Jeongin had the upper hand in this situation. 

“Yes, Jeongin. You left your notebook behind last class, and I just wanted to give it back to you.” Professor Lee opens his top desk drawer, pulling out Jeongin’s journal and holding it out in his hand towards Jeongin. Before his student could grab it, he pulled away, reeling Jeongin in like a fish. “You really ought to be more careful with your stuff. Don’t want anyone else getting their hands on this, do we?” 

Jeongin shakes his head, holding his hand out, patiently waiting for his teacher to put the book into his hand. The room is coated in silence despite the chatter from the hall. Jeongin can feel his heart beating out of his chest, trying his best not to jump over the desk and snatch the journal out of his professor’s hands. 

“So, do you like writing?” The smirk stretching across Professor Lee’s smug face is breaking Jeongin. He feels this odd sense of deja vu on top of the overwhelming anxiety. Jeongin nods again, slightly shaking his outstretched hand, urging his professor to finally hand it over. “Is that what this journal is for? Writing?” 

“Professor Lee, can I please have my journal back? I have another class to get to, sir.” Jeongin dodges the question like a professional, but Professor Lee isn’t satisfied. He laughs in Jeongin’s face, rolling his eyes slightly at the boy’s wit.

“I ended class early. You have plenty of time to talk, Yang Jeongin.” Professor Lee stands up, walking to the other side of his desk and pulling out another chair from a student desk. “Sit down, take a load off. You’re one of my star students. I’d like to get to know you.” 

“Aright, professor.” Jeongin’s staring at the journal, loosely dangling from his professor’s hand. Still, he sits in the uncomfortable chair as the older man leans on his desk, facing the boy. Jeongin holds out his hand again, looking up at his professor with emotionless eyes, desperate to leave this room and go home, because him saying he has another class was a complete lie. Just for right now, Professor Lee wants to play a little game with Jeongin, a game the younger doesn’t even realize he’s playing.

“You don’t have to call me professor. Right now, you can call me Minho.” Jeongin nods, slouching in the chair. “You never answered my question, Jeongin. What do you write in this journal? Notes for class I’d assume.”

“Yeah, notes for class.” Jeongin’s voice cracks as he looks back at the journal, Minho now having one of his fingers between the pages. He winces just imagining what his professor would think if he read a single paragraph on any page. “I need them to study, so can I have it back now?” 

“Well, if it’s just notes, then you’re okay with me reading it, right?” Minho jolts his arm up, opening the book to a random page. Jeongin’s about to run out of the room in embarrassment before Minho holds a hand up, successfully stopping him. “C’mon, Jeongin. Do you honestly think I haven’t already read this?”

If Jeongin had anything in his stomach right now, he’d surely throw up. You reading the journal was one of his fantasies come to life, but this was a bit overkill. He’d never want anyone other than you to read his journal, let alone one of his professors.

“What’s got you so quiet now?” Minho raises the pitch of his voice to taunt Jeongin, playing up the scene. “You’ve had the audacity to write about Y/n in this book nearly every single class, but now that you’ve been caught, you bite your tongue?” 

“Don’t say her name!” Jeongin gets extremely defensive, standing out of the seat to be the same height as his professor. “What do you want from me? Just give me the journal and I’ll go. I’ll even switch out of this class if you want. I don’t care!” 

“Aw, Jeonginnie~” Minho rests his face on his hand, holding his own cheek as he watches Jeongin’s face get red with anger. “Just tell me, how is Y/n doing?” 

“How do you know Y/n?” Jeongin’s confused, unable to connect the pieces to this puzzle. 

“You’re not as smart as you let on.” Minho gets closer to Jeongin, getting right in his face to scare the young boy. “I was her husband. We were your neighbors.”

Jeongin could feel his legs shake, finally connecting every conversation, every question, every action. He steps back, vision going blurry as he’s flooded with memories of seeing none other than Lee Minho in your front lawn, playing with his daughters in the back, or sneaking out to a taxi late at night towards the end of his memories. Jeongin didn’t know your name until he started working for you, let alone know your estranged husband’s name. He felt like such a dumbass at this moment.

“So, how is she?” Minho puts his hand on Jeongin’s shoulder, forcing Jeongin to focus on him. “If you’re going to fuck my ex wife, you could at least tell me how she’s doing.”

“She’s doing well, certainly a lot better without you.” Minho scoffs, laughing at Jeongin’s weak attempt at a diss. 

“And the girls are doing well?” 

“Yup. I watch them every night after my classes.” Jeongin folds his arms, turning his chin up at Minho. How soon he forgets that Minho still has his precious journal.

“So that’s where she gets ya, huh?” Minho brings the notebook back to his face, flipping to a random page, putting his finger on a random line. “Is that where she, in your words, ‘gripped your cock like you’ve wanted her to for so long’? Or did that happen later?”

Half of Jeongin’s brain is struggling to come up with a response, while the other half is thinking about the first time you gave him a blowjob. He’s clenching his fists with anger, hoping Minho didn’t see him starting to pop a boner. 

“What goes on between us is none of your business.” Jeongin jumps forward, finally snatching his journal out of Minho’s hands. He holds his journal tightly in his hands, clutching it close to his chest. “I’ll be leaving now.”

Just as Jeongin turns around to get his bookbag, Minho grabs his wrist and turns him around, once again finding each other inches away from the other’s face. 

“She didn’t tell you anything about me, did she?” Jeongin shakes him off, rapidly walking back to his desk to get his bag. “Answer me, little boy.”

“She’s never said a word about you, Minho.” Jeongin goes for the door, finally seeing his exit within his sights. “Now leave me alone. I’ll see you on Thursday, sir.”

And with that, he’s out. Finally within possession of his journal, he minds his business walking down the hall, heading back to his house that’s less than a 10 minute walk from the campus. 

Just wait until Y/n hears about this.

🍓🍰🐤🍀💐🍯

“He really hasn’t changed at all.” You stare out the window, taking a sip of tea from your mug as Jeongin finishes retelling the entire story to you. “I’m proud of you, Jeongin.”

“Proud of me? Why?” 

“You handled him very well. Any other boy your age would have crumbled under the pressure.” You sit next to him on the couch, putting your hand on his thigh more as comfort than a tactic to get into his pants. Regardless of your intentions, Jeongin can’t help but blush and bite his lip being the horny boy he is. “Lee Minho has a way with words. His charm worked on me in high school, and I’m sure it works on the other students in his classes.”

“Oh yeah, all the girls have crushes on him.” Jeongin covers his mouth with his hands when he realizes what he says. You just giggle at him, recalling some of the sweet, romantic moments you had with your ex-husband before everything went to shit. 

“Well, you know, the girls are going to his house this weekend. Maybe you should come over?” You ride your hand up his thigh teasingly, making Jeongin freeze as if he hasn’t had sex with you literally days earlier. “I’m always so worried about the girls when they’re with him. Maybe you can help me destress, baby boy.” 

“I’ll help you destress, mommy!” Jeongin smiles, mentally clearing his schedule for this weekend. “Can I ask something though?” 

“Ask away, baby. I’m an open book.” You lean back, one arm flailing behind your head as you take another sip from your mug.

“Why did you two… separate?” Jeongin cringes at his own words, realizing he might have crossed a line as your facial expression changes from a soft smile to a frown. “I’m just curious, sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry. I’ll tell you.” You huff as you sit up, swinging your arms forward so you can straighten your back. “He started acting distant out of nowhere, and some nights I’d wake up to find him gone from his side of the bed. A quick glance at his phone and I saw texts from another woman. I’d rather not get into gruesome details, but that’s the jist of it.”

“You don’t have to get into details. I shouldn’t have asked.” Jeongin shakes his head, leaning on your shoulder to comfort you. You put your arm around his shoulders, pulling him close to you. “Thank you for sharing with me.”

“No, thank you for asking. It feels good to get these things off of my chest.” You sigh, feeling an odd sense of relief. You’ve never talked to anyone about this other than a therapist you had for a brief time before work took over your life.

“So… was he a sub like me?” You nearly spit out your tea, Jeongin sitting up and patting your back to stop you from coughing on the drink. “Sorry! Sorry!” 

You can’t help but laugh at the curious boy, his face getting redder than you’ve ever seen. That’s the hardest you’ve ever laughed in a while. 

“Do you really want to know?” You raise an eyebrow, Jeongin covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

“I mean… a little.” He uncovers one eye, looking at your cheerful expression and immediately calming down after seeing you aren’t mad. “You’re good at… ya know. You have to have experience being a dom, right?” 

“Actually, I’ve always been the submissive. Do you really think the egoist Lee Minho would let someone else be in control?” You laugh at your own remark, Jeongin catching on and laughing with you. “But thank you for saying I’m good at sex I guess. Although, I don’t know how much of a compliment that is considering you’re a virgin” 

“Hey! I’m not a virgin anymore!” The red-as-a-tomato Jeongin makes a return as you laugh at his defensiveness. “Can I ask… one more question?”

“Jeez, are you interviewing me or something?” You take another sip of your tea as you gesture for the boy to ask away. He gulps, calculating his final question before he has to go home.

“Can I be your boyfriend?” Pause. You stare at the floor, thinking critically to yourself. How can you let down your sweet little boy without breaking his poor heart?

“Jeongin, you know we can’t be together.” You take one of his hands in your free hand, squeezing his fingers between yours as he nods, looking down at his legs. “I’m over 10 years older than you. That would be absurd.” 

“What if no one knows?” He’s really harping on this, huh? “Or can we be another title? Maybe friends with benefits?” 

“Yang Jeongin,” your quiet, commanding voice makes Jeongin look into your eyes, seeing the seriousness in your expression, “I’m your mother’s friend, not yours. I’m not sure how to define our relationship, but if you really want a label, we can be… sex partners. But no one can know that, alright?” 

“I understand.” Jeongin squeezes your hand back, allowing a comforting silence to fill the room. “So, this weekend?” 

“You can come over Friday night. He takes the girls in the morning, but I have work for the first half of the day. I took the weekend off, though, so I’m all yours, pretty boy.” You kiss his lips, getting caught in the taste before you pull back, stay your goodbyes, and send him home for the night before you go to bed for yourself.

When Jeongin gets back to his room, he sighs and takes out his journal, cracking his fingers before laying the pencil on the paper.

I want Lee Minho to pay. I want him to pay for breaking the heart of the woman I love, even if she doesn’t reciprocate the feelings. He must be insane for cheating on such an amazing woman. If mommy marks me up, leaving hickeys all over my pale neck, I’ll boldly wear something with a low-cut so Lee Minho can see all of the marks left by the most beautiful woman in the world. I’ll make sure he knows that I satisfy her more than he ever could. Y/n, if you’re reading this, please leave pretty bruises all over my body. I want mommy to mark me so bad, make sure everyone knows I’m hers. Regardless of the label anyone puts on our relationship, no one can deny that I’m hers. Her perverted boy, her slutty toy, her little prince, all hers. Only hers.

🍓🍰🐤🍀💐🍯

The weekend flies closer than he could have imagined, and after seeing you come home exhausted and drained every single night, nothing pleases Jeongin more than knowing he’s the one that will help you relax. As he walks to your house, he regrets not going to the store and getting lotions so he could give you a massage from his unqualified hands. 

“Hey, baby.” You smile at him, bright and gorgeous as always. You invite him in and offer him a drink, which he politely declines. You notice he’s shaking more than usual, and although he was always nervous and awkward, you’ve never see him get this shaky. “Are you okay, Jeongin?”

“Mommy…”

“Oh, we’re right out the gate with this one?”

“I have a surprise for you.” Jeongin takes his shirt off and pulls down his jeans, revealing a hot pink, lace thong covering his half-hard cock. You look up from his cock to his chest, seeing fake, silver nipple rings adorning his pink buds. You cover your mouth as you gasp, indescribably turned on from the presentation this boy had planned. “That’s not all.”

He turns around, bending over so the thong dives deeper between his ass cheeks, but you quickly notice what he was hinting at. There’s a little pink rose peeking out of his ass, a clear decoration on a plug. He looks so fucking hot. You can’t take your eyes off of him.

“What do you think, mommy?” He holds his arms out as he turns around, facing you again as your body hasn’t moved since he’d last faced you. “Don’t you like it?”

“I love it, little prince.” You walk up to him, holding his waist in your hands as you pull him closer, licking one of his nipples, tasting the distinct metal flavor of the ring. “You never fail to surprise me, baby.” 

You kiss from his nipple to his panties, getting down on your knees as you lick over the thin fabric. He twitches under the lace, getting harder every second. Before your mouth can properly suck his cock, you stand up and kiss him harshly on the lips, tasting a faint strawberry flavor. You smile against his mouth, holding his by his waist again as you pull him into your body, your chests coming in contact. 

“Mommy, please sit on my face. I want to make you feel good,” Jeongin whines between kisses. Your hands run up and down his body, feeling him up and making him shiver in anticipation. For right now, you’re content with just sucking on his sweet lips, but his cock clearly needs some attention. “Please~”

“Let’s go to my bedroom, sweetheart. I’ll ride your pretty face as much as you want.” You take his hand in yours as you take him back to your room, practically throwing him on the bed. He palms himself over his thong while you undress, totally forgetting about the rules you’d set up. When you turn around, your gaze goes immediately, almost instinctively, to his hand on his cock as he half-assedly strokes himself. “Is my naughty little boy touching himself? Without my permission?” 

“Sorry, mommy. I couldn’t help it.” Jeongin presses his bottom lip out as he pouts, pulling his hand off of his cock. You roll your eyes and get onto the bed, sitting over his chest before staring down at him like you’re a shark and he’s your next meal. 

“I don’t know if you deserve to eat my pussy anymore.” You ponder, bringing your hand to your chin as if you’re genuinely considering not riding his face until you’re dripping. He puts his hands above his head and pleads again, whining in his adorable high-pitched voice. “Alright, baby boy, but only because I want this.”

You scoot up to his face, hovering your naked cunt over his gorgeous face. As you slowly start to lower your hips to his mouth, Jeongin eagerly sticks his tongue out and fights against his reflexes to just grab you. He laps at your folds, humming from the sweetness as you grind on his face and grip the headboard of the bed. 

“Good boy, Jeonginnie. If you make mommy cum, you’ll get a reward.” He moans into your pussy, his cock twitching under his lace panties just at the thought of you rewarding him. For being so hungry for punishment just days prior, he really wanted to be your good little boy just for today. He sticks his wet tongue into your cunt, inciting you to ride his face even harder, raising and lowering just enough for his tongue to never leave your tight, needy cunt. 

His tongue pulls back, leaving you empty for a moment before he starts kissing and sucking at your clit. You lean forward, putting your clit right up to his mouth all for him. Your sopping cunt was absolutely begging for an orgasm, and Jeongin was getting you there faster than you could have ever imagined. The moans leaving your throat only made Jeongin want to make you cum even more. 

“Please cum on my face, ma’am.” Jeongin wastes no time returning his tongue to your pussy, his wrists still above his head as if he were cuffed. Your legs start to get uneasy, shaking around Jeongin’s head as you breath heavily and mindlessly moan out his favorite pet names and countless praises. He’s smiling against you, sucking your folds until you finally release, your cunt tightening around his tongue as you whine and grind, riding out your high on his face. You were undoubtedly euphoric, slowly coming down from an extremely intense orgasm, but Jeongin was also through the moon, tasting all of your juices leaking into his mouth. 

“Ah, thank you little boy.” You flip your leg over his head, stepping back onto the floor with your weak, tired legs, a hand on the bed so you don’t fall over. You run a hand down his leg, Jeongin starting to shake with anticipation. He holds his wrists steady above his head without any help of restraints. Your palm runs over his cock, touching him over his thin panties. He lets out a huff, needy for more. “Does my sweet prince need to be fucked?” 

Jeongin’s whine are so fucking pathetic. A tear runs down his cheek just from the thought of you fucking him. He watches you as you turn around and reach into your drawer, digging through until you pull out a harness and a bright pink dildo that oddly matches his panties. Jeongin tightens his hole, remembering the bulb nestled in his ass. As you put the harness on, he lifts his hips and shakes his as against the bed.

“Mommy,” he whimpers, “please fuck my ass. Need your cock in me so fucking bad!” He sounds so overwhelmingly lewd, but you loved every second of it. You attach the dildo to your harness, tightening it perfectly so it won’t budge. You cup his cheek as you reposition yourself on the bed, lifting his legs over your thighs. You watch his cock tremble, begging to be touched, as Jeongin stares directly at your face, watching your eyes dart from his cock to his hardened nipped to his quivering lips. “Mommy?”

“Yes sweetheart?” You tilt your head and smile, making a burst of warmth erupt in Jeongin’s chest. 

“Please be gentle, okay?” You giggle at his cuteness and nod, reaching to your bedside to take out lube. Squirting it onto your hand, you rub the length of the dildo with one hand while you teasingly pull at his plug, pulling it out just enough to make him groan. 

“You look incredible, baby boy.” You lean down to kiss him while your hand moves from your dildo to his ass, both hands pulling out the plug before you finger him with lubed fingers. All of his moans are lost on your lips, his tongue letting out and into your mouth, dancing with yours. He squeals when your fingers leave his ass, and he knows exactly what’s next. 

You take his hands in yours from above his head, pulling them down to be next to his head. You lean over the boy while you line your cock with his hole, teasingly pushing the tip against his entrance. 

“I’ll go slow, don’t worry angel.” Your hands hold your hips as you slowly push the strap into Jeongin, watching it disappear into his tight little hole. His thong is pushed to the side of his hole while painfully rubbing against the bottom of his shaft. You would have taken it off, but he just looks too damn sexy in them. 

Jeongin writhes as you stop halfway, petting his sides to help him calm down. He feels so full, so stretched, something he’s never felt before. He’s wanted this for so long, he just wants to enjoy it so bad, especially for you, but the pain is starting to get to him. He’s whining loudly, biting down on his lip harshly in hopes of silencing some of his sounds. 

“Jeongin? Are you okay?” Your voice is soft, but not delicate. You’re speaking at a regular volume, an attempt to pull Jeongin out of his head. He opens his eyes and looks at you, tears threatening to fall out. “What’s the safe word?” 

“Avocado.” 

“One more time for me, baby. What’s the safe word?” Without moving your hips, you lean forward to hold onto his face. He looks so gorgeous, messy and covered in sweat. You just want him to be happy. 

“Avocado.” He pushes his face against your hand, his voice returning to a regular pitch. “You can go further now, mommy.” 

“Are you sure, sweetheart?” You lean more to kiss his forehead, admiring his sharp facial features. 

“I want you to fuck me, please.” His tone is flat, sounding almost unenthused until the final word. You nod and patiently push into him, carefully watching his face for any indication of pain. Jeongin starts to groan loudly as you bottom out, pressing the bottom of the harness against him. “Thank you.” 

“Good boy, Innie. My angel’s so pretty like this.” Your hands go to his chest, dainty fingers pinching his nipples just how he likes. His moans are back to being the high, pathetic whines you’re used to from the boy. His cock twitches, a drop of precum dripping from the tip. “You ready for me to move, my little prince?”

“Yes, mommy. I’m ready!” Your heart warms watching Jeongin’s face light up for such a perverted sentiment. He looks so excited, finally starting to enjoy it. You grip his hips tight as you pull out, watching his cock stutter and his mouth hang open. When you pound back into him slowly, Jeongin feels that familiar warmth in his stomach. 

“You like this, baby boy? You like getting fucked by your mommy?” Your voice is sinister as you increase the pace, rhythmically moving your hips against Jeongin’s ass. His legs shutter as you fuck him, all of his nerves standing on edge. “Who’s mommy’s little cumslut?”

“I am, mommy! I’m your little c-cum… fuck!” Jeongin throws his head back as you wrap one hand around his cock, your other hand is grounded on his hip. You start to jerk him, fast and aggressive, coaxing him to an orgasm even faster.

The dildo drags against Jeongin’s walls, brushing past the sensitive spot he didn’t even know he had. With every thrust and stroke, he can feel himself start to fall apart, all of his speech devolving into incoherent whines and cries. Sweat drips down his forehead as he finds it harder and harder to hold back his release. 

“C-close,” he whimpers, “gonna cum.” 

“Aw, my sweet little boy ready to cum?” You speed up the movements of your hand, tightening your iron grip on his sensitive, red cock. Jeongin feels his reality start to fade, only being able to focus on his impending orgasm. “Cum all you want, baby. Be a good little boy and cum for mommy.”

Your eyes stare intensely at his cock as he’s pushed over the edge, his body convulsing as he has the most powerful orgasm of his life. He shoots his load all over his abs and chest, some dripping onto your hand. Your hand goes still on his shaft, but your hips still slowly rut into him, easing him through his high. 

“Gonna pull out now, alright pretty boy?” He nods, bringing his hand up to his face for him to bite down on his finger. You gently pull your hips back, eventually slipping out of him, watching him breath heavily as you let go of his hips and cock. “Did you like that?” 

“Yes, Y/n. You felt so good,” he smiles, watching you as you stand up to pull the harness off and toss it towards the drawer for you to clean later. “Can we get dinner now?”

“Sweetheart, you need to rest!” You walk to the side of the bed and give him a peck on his forehead, soon kissing him on his plush lips. He lays on your bed, limbs spread out as he’s lifeless and naked. “You did so well for me. I’ll cook you dinner while you take a nap, alright?”

“I’d like that, mommy. Thank you!” You pull the discarded comforter over his body, forcing him to get warm and cozy under your covers. He looked so sweet in your bed, snuggled against the soft bed that smelled like you. 

“How about pasta? Does my boy like pasta?” He nods, shutting his eyes and rolling to his side, preparing to sleep. “I’ll be back in an hour. Rest well, Jeongin.” 

“Thank you~”

Jeongin dozes off as you get dressed in lounge pants, a loose shirt, underwear and no bra. He looks so peaceful sleeping, so you’re extra quiet when you slip out of your bedroom to the kitchen. 

You gather the ingredients and start to boil the water when you get a call. Just as before, it’s your ex-husband, Minho. You groan and hesitantly press the green phone button, turning the call to speaker before setting your phone on the counter. 

“Y/n? Hello?”

“What do you want, Minho?” Your voice sounds disinterested to say the least, and Minho immediately gets the hint that his call was not wanted. 

“I’m gonna cut to the chase. One of my student’s grades are suffering because of your relationship with him-“

“Shouldn’t you be watching my kids?” You don’t have the mental capacity to listen to Minho scold you right now. Your motherly instincts are tingling, and he should be watching your little angels right now. 

“They’re with their stepmom right now.” You grumble at his use of the word “stepmom” considering your daughters still call her by her first name, but nevertheless, you go silent, hoping he’ll get on with this call. “As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, you need to stop playing games with Yang Jeongin.” 

“Playing games?” Your face turns red as anger suddenly fills your brain. “We aren’t playing games, Lee Minho. We’re adults. Neither of us need your permission.” 

“You’re playing with this kid’s feelings. Don’t you feel bad?” You pause, watching bubbles start to rise in the pot. “This kid is suffering just because you want to be fucked and you’re too prideful to-“

“Don’t even say that, Minho.” You reach for the box of pasta, dumping the noodles into the pot of boiling water. “I’ll never get back with you. You know that.” 

“What does he have that I don’t?” You hear a loud tsk through the phone, Minho taking a break in his talk to ponder his next move. “You’d rather fuck a college student than a real man?”

“Jeongin’s more of a real man than you’ll ever be!” You’re nearly yelling at this point, rage overwhelming you. “What do you know about our relationship anyway? It’s none of your business.”

“Oh, but it is!” Before you have a chance to respond to his outlandish comment, he chimes back in. “He writes in his little fantasy book every single class, and every time I look over his shoulder, I have to see your name scrawled over every page. He’s obsessed with you, Y/n.” 

“Shut up! Just, shut up!” You stop stirring the pasta to collect your thoughts, breathing in before you lash out at Minho over the phone. “Go watch my kids-“

“Our kids.”

“Go watch our kids and never speak to me about this again. I’ll tell Jeongin to get his grades up. Just, for fuck’s sake, leave me alone.” You hang up, angrily throwing your phone onto the counter again. You hear the floor squeak behind you and you turn around, a scared Jeongin standing behind you with the blanket wrapped around him.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” His eyes well up with tears, fearful of how you’ll respond. “This was a mistake.” 

“Jeongin, baby, no!” You drop the spoon to the edge of the pot and bring Jeongin in for a hug, squeezing him tightly. His arms wrap around your neck, the blanket falling to the floor to reveal him wearing one of your big shirts. “Don’t mind him. How much did you hear?”

“A-all of it.” He sniffles, collecting himself with deep breaths. “I didn’t know I’d cause so much trouble.”

“It’s Minho who’s causing trouble, not you.” You pet down his back, trying to get him to calm down and stop crying. “Go back to my room and lay down, babe.” 

“Can I stay out here and watch you?” You lean down to pick up the blanket, wrapping it around Jeongin again. His eyes are puffy and red as if he’s been emotional for a while, and your heart aches just looking at his disheveled state. 

“Of course, baby. Go sit on that stool.” He pulls the stool out from under the kitchen island and gets comfortable, leaning on the counter with his elbows. You go back to stirring the pasta, watching it rise and fall. “I love you, Jeongin.” 

“I love you too, Y/n. Thank you for inviting me here today.” He swoons at your bright demeanor, a stark contrast from the bitter persona you’d taken while on the phone with his professor. “What did you mean when you said I’m a… real man?” 

You laugh a bit, dropping the spoon to the side and getting butter and a bowl out for the pasta. “Lee Minho was never a good man. He takes advantage of everyone who comes into his life. You’re not like that.” 

Jeongin tilts his head. “Then what am I like?” 

“You’re, uh…” you put your hand on your chin, scratching at your skin in thought. “You’re very kind and genuine, which is a bit surprising for a boy your age.”

Jeongin hated every time you brought up age. It only furthered to remind him about how different you two were, and how he never had a chance with you from the start. In your eyes, he’ll never be more than a kid, and that ate away and him. Jeongin’s only goal with you was for you to see him as an equal rather than a child, but he wasn’t sure how to go about reaching that.

“So I’m a real man?” Jeongin smiles, his heart fluttering thinking of you calling him a man. 

“Pasta’s ready! Do you want cheese?” You pour the pasta from the strainer into the bowl, mixing it with the butter. Per your request, Jeongin gets the powdered cheese out of the refrigerator, sitting at the kitchen island again, this time with you right next to him, piling pasta onto his plate before yours, your motherly instincts kicking in again. 

“Thank you mo- I mean, Y/n!” You both giggle at his adorable slip up, appreciating each other’s company. 

“You’re welcome, baby boy.” You push his hair from his forehead and kiss his nose, his cheeks quickly turning a deep shade of pink. “So cute.” 

taglist: @milkym00n @sparklysung @starsareseen @sailorhyunjinz @gothicstay @vogueinnie​ @mariannaab