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eclipse-rain · 11 months

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Jjk - Big Brother Yuji + Choso Headcanons;

☆☆☆

Warning: Mentions of attempted suicide in first part + manga spoilers obvi

Masterlist~

☆☆☆

|Backstory|

•You and yuji are twins (sry i love them being twins soo much)

•you grew up together with him and your grandfather

•but the thing is, when dealing with jujutsu sorcerers being a twin is considered bad

•this ment you could see cursed spirits while yuji could not

•your grandfather tried to console you by saying they werent real and to try and ignore them for fear of people thinking you were crazy and trying to put you in a hospital

•you tried your best to think that way and you learned not to freak out in front of other people about what you were seeing

•but you were a kid and they looked scary, why were you the only one seeing these monsters?

•yuji was the main reason you were able to look past it, past them

•he was always in front of you so all you had to do was look towards him and then everything was alright

•his smile was always such a reassuring sight, it could put you at ease almost instantly, wash all your troubles away in the blink of an eye

•you really loved your older twin brother, and he loved you just as much

•it would have been good if things had stayed that way, but i guess then we wouldnt have this story

•there was a time where you couldnt take it anymore, the constantly being scared and looking over your shoulder, it was during a short period of time when yuji wasnt around

•you were nine years old by this point and in the bath, suddenly the bubbly water looked more reassuring than staying in a world full of monsters being the only one who could see them

•you let yourself sink into the warmth and the next thing you knew, yuji was above you, holding you in a fresh fluffy towel but instead of smiling like he always did, he was crying

•for the next year yuji and your grandfather had you sing everytime you bathed or showered for fear of it happening again

•but you had realised from that day on that if you had yuji in your life, wheather he was far away or right next to you, as long as he was alive you could push past what you saw and focus on him, you could stay alive too

•you were born together so you both had an unspoken promise that you would live together and when the time came, die together

•thats not the only thing that went wrong though

《Yeah im about to change the whole plot and spice it up real good, cue the trauma✨》

•when you were ten kenjaku came to retrieve one of you, either yuji or you, it didnt matter which

•your grandfather knew this would happen some time in the future as kenjaku made it known after you both were born

•but your grandfather kept it from both of you and raised you the same way, without difference, same clothes, same hair, same treatment so that he could try and feel less attachment when the time came to give one of you away

•what he would get in return would be the guaranteed safety of the other twin, not a hair on their head would be touched and they would have a normal life as a human unless they themself chose otherwise

•your grandfather had been stuck between a rock and a hardplace

•and thats how you got separated from your twin and your grandfather

•your grandfather didnt even know which one of you kenjaku took, he raised you both without any difference, including gender

•that didnt mean it didnt impact him any less though, he turned away from yuji, became more distant and contemplative of his life and yujis future

•he regretted and agonised over what happened every single day he lived until his death and made sure to make yuji promise not to end up alone at his own death bed

•yuji always kept you in mind, he never forgot a single thing about you, your hair, your eyes, your smell, the feeling of your small hand in his as he led you to your next class in school

•you were the first loss he faced in his life, your grandfather didnt have the heart to tell yuji where you had actually gone, not that he knew

•And kenjaku with his connections or powers god knows what, made it seem, to your school, all the people in the community, as if you had died and with what happened last year that didnt come as much of a shock

•otherwise people would start to ask questions if you suddenly werent around, like you had dissapeared into thin air, even though by all accounts your grandfather knew...you had

•he wasnt even allowed to know where you were going or what you would be doing, if you would have a normal life or whatever the alternative to that was

•Or even worse you were actually dead and kenjaku hadnt just made people believe that so yuji and him could live a normal peaceful life

•but in reality and unbeknownst to your grandfather kenjaku had plans for you, those which were never revealed to you and that you couldnt figure out because you could never for the life of you read the person who was suposed to be your so called "mother"

•of course you didnt know that kenjaku was technically your birth mother, you only figured it out years later, five years later to be exact, when you were fifteen, a little while before yuji also found out

•kenjaku didnt know which one of you he had taken either at the time but it didnt matter to him, it was all the same regardless

• he hadnt even planned on either of your births, with all the rest of the cursed wombs being failures he didnt have much hope left for either of you to work out in his master plan, just like the nine death painting brothers you both were far too normal (though his and your versions of normal didnt seem to align)

•but now you just seemed to give him more options, more paths he could take, more fun, a variable in his master plan if you will

•wheather you both would be a catalysts or not was up to you two but you yourself had made it your lifes mission so that your brother could continue living safely without the need of ever knowing that you werent crazy after all and what you saw was real

•let him be ignorant, let you carry all this burden by yourself, if he can be the light, your light and give you hope then you can be the darkness, carry his burdens, his share of darkness aswell as yours

•it would have probably stayed that way if he hadnt gotten himself entangmed with the king of curses after - of all the ones he could have eaten

~~~

|Choso|

•being one of kenjakus kids means your the only girl amongst all your siblings which definitely sucked a bit in your eyes

•like what do you mean you have ten siblings and not even a single one is a girl

•you'd have to put up with yuki as your big sister since that was the closest to the real thing you would get

•you werent there when yuji and nobara killed Eso and Kechizu and you didnt even know that they were your brothers yet anyway

•you first met choso when (of all times) kenjaku, mahito and he were playing a board game while waiting for the outcome of the fight between yuji, nobara, megumi, Eso and Kechizu

•well you didnt talk or even make eye contact but you both knew each other was there (you're probably in a badass looking cloke or something idk babe)

•kenjaku tried to coax you into playing with them, fed up you just ended up 'standing guard' so you could get some peace and quiet or so you thought because they (*ahem* mahito *ahem*) wouldnt stfu

•You were colder now that you were older and not showered in your big brothers light which he directed completely at you when you were younger

•you didnt say a word the whole time, you rarely did since you had been with kenjaku and his lackies

•you wondered everyday, since you had learned what cursed spirits were, why he still kept you alive and with him, you couldnt read him at all and it gave you a horrible pit in your stomach

•of course how were you to even guess what really was your realtion to him, even if cursed spirits and jujutsu sorcerers were real kenjaku technically being your mother still seemed a bit far fetch when you first learned about it

•as you listened to their conversation you noted that a person called itadori yuji was one of the jujutsu sorcerers fighting against chosos younger brothers along with a girl named kugisaki nobara

•you had come here now for this exact reason, (after learning yuji was now a jujutsu sorcerer) just in case something happened you would protect your brother, even if you didnt see him in person, even if you did and he didnt remember you, or recognise you

•after they split off to see who could find him first so did you, you had to find him before they did

•you didnt ... (well done)

•choso and yuji still fought and he almost killed yuji successfully but for some reason when you found choso he was alone, no yuji in sight and he was huddled in a ball on the ground looking like he was having a mental breakdown (whatever that was about)

•though when you questioned him about if he found yuji yet or not he suddenly got wierdly defensive, you decided you werent gonna try and reason with a cursed spirit who was obviously crazed since he was working with kenjaku (even if he was doing it for family which was the exact same reason as you had for doing the same thing)

•kenjaku ; the man who basically kidnapped you from your home five years ago for god knows what reason, telling you that you were special since you could see cursed spirits

•the man who made you feel special and useful and like you had a purpose in life, the man that put you on a pedestal above all those who couldnt see cursed spirits like you could

•his manipulative methods could have worked on your young mind, they had somewhat, but never fully because of one key thing

•this was because you always remembered yuji, your kind older brother who couldnt see cursed spirits, unlike you, but just the same as the people (humans) who would call you wierd or crazy for being able to

•but he wasnt one of those people, by all accounts in your mind and heart, to this day you still believe he is the kindest person in the whole world and it was because of this that you never saw yourself above non-sorcorers because your precious big brother was one of those people

•And it should have stayed that way

•but it didnt

•and you cant help but blame yourself everyday for it (even tho its literally not ur fault babes chill out a bit)

•for not being more prepaired, for not being more aware, for not keeping better tabs on your brother for fear kenjaku might break his promise to your grandfather now that he was dead

•you had asked kenjaku to tell you about what yuji was up to after you left when you were small

•as you got older you didnt want kenjaku being near yuji and his information on him could be unreliable, just lies he fed to you

•so you stopped asking to know about yuji and for a while stayed away completely before you started keeping your own tabs on him when you were older and more able, stronger

•you had learned alot in your time with kenjaku and his lackies, even if it was unwillingly and even if it was perhaps ruining you, or who you used to be

•the small, kind and scared girl was no more, instead a shell of that girl remained, who would only come out of hiding when she was face to face with her brother again finally

•instead now you were cold and unspeaking, as you were unwavering in the face of the same monsters you once ran from

•you had only found out that your grandfather had even died after you finally dug into what yujis life was like after you got older

•you also learned yuji had eaten a curse and enrolled in Jujutsu high school, now under so called "protection" by some of the most fearsome jujutsu sorcorers who ever lived

•*back to the present ig* both you and choso went looking for yuji again, since you had no luck finding him by yourself last time you chose to stick with choso this time as he found him first last time

•Choso however was less than pleased at having you stick to him, as he now for some reason seemed even more determined to find Yuji if that was even possible

•choso can sense the transformations of his younger brothers through their blood connections no matter how far away they are

•choso could see yuji in his fake memory because yuji was going through the final transformation, which is death

•choso during his mental breakdown had figured out yuji was his youngest brother, but he also found out something else

•see yuji was a twin and that ment he shared his soul with his other half, his own twin, you

•that ment if he died a piece of the other twin would die along with him

•this ment he could also see yujis twin there too, you

•though since he wasnt dealing with your soul (death/transformation) directly, but just a link between you and yujis as twins, you were very blurry and he couldnt properly make out your face in his paniced state of mind

•so he didnt recognise you as the person who kenjaku brought along (you could have had ur face covered by like a hood or mask when with kenjaku as well)

•he could see the other cursed wombs properly only because they were all already dead

•choso and you end up getting confronted by a curse and with him now being even more hell bent on finding yuji he leaves you to deal with it (he ran without saying a word to you, leaving you by yourself, he did not care lmao, he's off to protect his new baby bro)(tbf he didnt no you were his sister yet and feels bad about it in the future)

•so you two got separated

(Skipping to when he finds out cuz im lazy)

•choso when he finds out he also has a younger sister, which is you, would be very shocked at first, and a little unbelieveing of it, since all the other cursed wombs had been male

•honestly he didnt think it was even possible for them to be female at this point (not that it was a big deal) 1/11 those are wierd odds tho

•there had to be a reason for this, perhaps thats why kenjaku/noritoshi kamo was so interested in you (so maybe it was a big deal?? He wasnt so sure but he hoped that wasnt the case, kenjaku had seemed pretty interested in yuji also and he wasnt female)

•he didnt know if he should treat you any differently than he did for his brothers for a while when he first found out

•he was the same amount of pushy about wanting you to call him big brother as he was with yuji though, possibly even more so

•he has a little sister now, thats crazy, he wants to hear what being called big brother is like coming from you

•when you finally called him big brother the first time he started bawling like a baby

•after the shibuya incident the three of you are all living normal human lives together after everything was over

•yuji cooking in the kitchen like he had done so many times for you before in your childhood, choso and you both sat at oposite ends of the kitchen table

•A warm light from the window shone across it, signaling the first signs of it setting and nights approach, it would feel warm and cozy, the atmosphere light hearted and safe

•choso would be taking in the sight of it all, slightly melancholic, thinking of how your other brothers never got to experience this

•you would be reading a book, possibly even studying now that your back at school, a hot cup of steaming tea a little to your right, a basket of fruits in the center, a cat lay on your lap barely visible, only so by an ear twitch or the slight swish of a fluffy tail

•butterflys landed on the plants by the back door, the one that lead to the back gardens, where cherry blossom flowers bloomed on the trees in spring but in autumn they were bare and the air was cold and crisp

•farther down a trail of cherry blossom trees, the chickens roamed and slept inside their coops snuggled up to one another for warmth, you would go down to collect the eggs tomorrow morning as you had done this morning, those ones now being used by yuji prepairing omurice for your evening meal

•yuji and you were happy once again and choso could safely say he was the most happy now than he had ever been since he had been born, he just wished his brothers could have felt this way too

•the three of you had buried the remaining cursed wombs and mementos of Eso and Kechizu in the back garden next to your grandfathers grave

•you three visited them everyday and told them about everything that happened, from exciting things to those that were rather boring or simple

•it was a nice way to live

☆☆☆

Im backkk bitchesss📣, dont get ur hopes up tho, im here for a good time not a long time sry

I love writing nonsense about my silly little scenarios✊

Idk how i haven't written for jjk yet because its literally one of my favorite anime/mangas rn (I've also been waiting for choso to get animated and get more attention since i first saw his fine ass in the manga)

If there are plot holes pretend your ✨blind✨👩‍🦯

#jjk #jjk x reader #yuji itadori #choso kamo #jjk choso #yuji x sister!reader #choso x sister!reader #platonic #platonic x reader #platonic you weirdos

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mahi-wayy · 1 month

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𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 | 𝑨𝒁𝑨𝑫 𝑹𝑨𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑹𝑬

• General • Romantic [both sfw and nsfw]

A/n : I love him T-T

I - GENERAL

the most babygirl to every babygirl- I don't make the rules.

his puppy dog eyes are like the deadliest.

he is very comfortable in his feminine energy and actually leans into it a lot seeing that he was brought up among very strong woman.

likes wearing soft colors, the scent is uses is also not very strong one but more of a sweet smell that clings to him and lingers even when he leaves.

the darling of the jail. the whole department is kind of scared of doing anything when he not around because once a officer kind of messed up his desk, misplaced one of his belongings and that man didn't know peace because the prisoners won't let him live in peace until azad got over his loss.

there wasn't a time when he was used to like night duty and constantly fell asleep on duty and constables have told how no one makes a sound around his office or in general if they know the jailer has fallen asleep.

he is a legend of that jail but he is unaware that his story is narrated to every woman that ends up behind the bars.

once refused the option of transfer with a possible promotion because he just didn't want to leave his girls.

coming to which his team is handpicked of course, he trained everyone of them personally in combat and weapons but also helped them to sharpen some skills they already had.

has nightmares of his mother not waking up or dying in different ways.

gets scolded from kaveri over his messed up schedule all the time. no time of sleeping, no time of waking up, lunch and dinner all jumbled, you get the drift.

his trauma gives him too extreme sides. sometimes he can't grasp what is going on in the room while the other times not even s drop of sweat being wiped goes unnoticed by him in a crowded room.

he almost picked up smoking in his college days but kaveri helped him shake it off before he settled in him.

extremely sensitive to his surroundings and the energy the place and people around him have.

good with his basic emotional regulation, cries when he feels like he needs to. yes he cries during movies.

good emotional intelligence.

was a boxing champion in college and a A grader throughout his academic life.

but he was bullied in school, especially for his "girl like behavior" you know how stupid those boys can get.

used to ask kaveri about his mother all the time, which she thankfully had some answers she could give but it surprised her how he never asked about his father apart from what he did, just starring at the picture aishwarya drew him whenever he missed his dad.

very low maintenance which is to be honest a trauma response. he doesn't want to be a weight on anyone's shoulders in any form.

likes sweets over spices.

he can cook decent enough to survive but I don't recommend leaving him near a oven without supervision for too long.

not much of a party guy but can be convinced once in a while.

he is very shy, will visibly get flustered if you compliment him more than once.

II - ROMANTIC

SFW

makes the first move, very shyly.

buys flowers, chocolates and other gifts all the time.

reads books to his partner.

tries to learn their favorite thing to do so they can do it together.

talk about them to his team and other women in the jail.

surprise dates.

late night dates.

dances in the rain with them.

sleeps with his head on their chest and curled around them like a clingy child.

NSFW

he is a switch who doesn't really care about it tbh.

he is happy as long as both him and his partner are feeling good.

had a praise kink.

shy but loud moaner.

whimpers.

sensitive chest, neck and sides.

------

tags : @mayakimayahai @warnermeadowsgirl @vijayasena @voidsteffy @jkdaddy01 @rambheem-is-real @allari-ammayi @mellaga-karagani @ulaganayagi @ahamasmiyodhah @ranisingnewyetagian @myvarya @toomanyfanficsbruh @harinishivaa @chaliyaaa @tumharisakhi

#in my srk era ;)#azad rathore #jawan #shah rukh khan #headcanons

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topazadine · 2 months

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Writing Compelling Trauma in Fiction: Dos and Don'ts

Trauma is, quite frankly, a load-bearing weight in the fiction space. We've all done it: thrown in the saddest, most miserable little factoid about our meow-meows so that they feel not just real, but compelling and sympathetic. It helps readers empathize with them and spices up a story.

Very well-done trauma can also be cathartic for readers, especially if the character prevails despite what has happened to them.

The problem is that poorly written trauma can feel exploitative, cheap, and melodramatic. It turns people off, especially those who have been through a similar experience. Now it feels as if someone is using our pain to sell things or get attention, and it is often obvious when someone has not been through that experience, which can make readers feel uncomfortable.

So, here is my opinion on how to write more compelling trauma.

As always, I am not the ultimate authority on writing, I am not telling you exactly what to do with your writing, my opinions are just opinions, I am not perfect, I might be wrong, this might not resonate with you. Take what you like and leave the rest.

There's also not going to explicit descriptions of abuse or trauma in this post.

These are the highlights, and then we'll get more into it under the cut.

Trauma must be transformative

Flashbacks are not little movies

Triggers are not always obvious

Don't give characters every trauma ever

It's not always necessary to show the event

The earlier the trauma happens, the more it changes a character

Characters do not always tell every single person about the trauma

Characters themselves may not be explicit about discussing the trauma

And then we will go through some quick action points about trauma.

Trauma must be transformative

Trauma, by definition, changes someone; otherwise, whatever happened would just be another normal Tuesday and no one would care.

This problem is where we get the concept of "fridging." Something horrible happens to a character and they just kind of shrug it off, or it impels them to do something but doesn't actually change them as a person.

For example, a superhero finds their (typically female) lover dead and it spurs them to fight the villain, but then it just doesn't do anything else. They forget about the dead lover and said lover is never mentioned again. That's shitty writing and also kind of misogynistic.

It doesn't need to change them in bad ways, per se: Batman becomes a crime fighter because his parents died in front of him. We know that and always feel that in his story. But, there must be a change or the trauma doesn't mean anything.

Options for you (not an exhaustive list):

Developing anxiety. This may be a more globalized anxiety, such as agoraphobia, or it may be more specific. Shying away from "unsafe" situations that seem perfectly safe to other people. This is another form of anxiety. Becoming withdrawn and refusing to trust anyone. Clinging to "safe" people; becoming dependent and helpless. They may become codependent and childlike. This is common with childhood abuse, particularly childhood sexual abuse. Their emotional coping skills were stunted after the event and they never developed a healthy sense of self. Growing cold and unemotional; isolating themselves from other people. They may refuse to talk about the event and insist that they are fine. Advocating for others dealing with the same thing. Acting like an emotional "open wound:" intense, trauma vomiting all over other people, failing to self-regulate. Having extreme bursts of rage. This is more common in men, but it can also happen in women. For sexual trauma, becoming hypersexual or having no interest in sex whatsoever. They may become incredibly touch-averse, even getting antsy when someone touches their hand. Making risky decisions that lead to further traumatization. Especially true regarding child abuse; those who were molested as children are far more likely to be revictimized later in life. BTW, this is not victim-blaming: it is still the abuser's fault for hurting them. No one should take advantage of someone's vulnerability like that. Keeping everything surface level and refusing to open up to anyone about anything. They may seem "bland" and uninteresting to the outside observer because everything about them has been stuffed down. As I have mentioned elsewhere, trauma often blunts a person's personality and makes them less interesting.

Again, this isn't an exhaustive list, but it's an idea of what you might be able to work with.

Flashbacks are not little movies

Nothing irks me more than writers who decide that the best possible way to explain someone's trauma is to just go back in time and show it in exhaustive detail because that is not how trauma generally works. You don't just see the whole thing in vivid technicolor most of the time.

Why? Because trauma is ... traumatic. Your brain wants to protect you from that experience and isn't going to force you to relive it over and over again exactly as it happened.

More commonly, flashbacks are small snippets of the event. For example, you might see the person's eyes as they are staring at you, or a very brief image of the worst part of it. You'll see what your eyes were focusing on in the moment, but you're not going to see the whole thing all at once. Sometimes, a flashback is like a still image, or like a GIF. But it's not a little movie.

In other cases, a flashback is just a body sensation with no actual visual images shown. You might feel pain in the place where you were hurt, and you may not even realize it's a flashback.

This can actually make for very compelling writing when done correctly, because you can show small snapshots of the event sprinkled throughout the story so that the reader slowly develops a full understanding of what happened.

So what could you show?

The eyes of the perpetrator

Expressions on a perpetrator's face

A "diorama" of the room/location where it took place

Repeating images of a small section of the event

Physical pain: pelvic pain for assault, tender ribs, old wounds starting to hurt again

Darkness or swirls of motion

Sounds or phrases that were said during the event

The aftermath: what happened right after they were safe or rescued

Sensations: pressure, heat, cold, weightlessness, heaviness, exhaustion, pain

Triggers are not always obvious

A trigger can be anything that reminds you of trauma. Scents, sounds, words, certain brands, the tone of someone's voice, specific locations that just remind you of where it happened, anything. I am sure there are people out there who are triggered by Dolce & Gabbana handbags or certain ice cream flavors.

Sometimes, a trigger is not even obvious to the person who suffered. They may not realize why they shy away from certain experiences, like swinging on a playset or walking through an airport, because they can't remember why that's relevant to what happened.

Don't give a character every trauma ever

Going overboard with trauma is one of the best ways to get people to hate your book. It feels as if you are using trauma as a stand-in for actually developing characters people can resonate with and just using pity points to get people to care.

In fact, I would argue that you need to give characters less trauma than would be feasible for the average person. Of course, many people go through multiple types of trauma over their lifetime, to the point where if someone read a book about them, it would seem unrealistic.

But characters are not people. They are meant to populate a fictional plot. As such, less is more. Using less trauma forces you to dig deeper into those certain events and identify how your character changed.

It's not always necessary to show the event

This is especially true if you are writing about characters who have childhood trauma. Full-on cinematic flashbacks are a cheap way to get out of showing us how the trauma changed them. This is especially true if this is the only flashback in the story, or you are only flashing back to show us increasingly more disturbing examples of their trauma.

The most compelling stories I have read do not show the trauma; they show us the aftermath. We see how the character is haunted by what happened and how they can never go back to who they were before. It makes for deeper and more interesting characterization than just "oh look at this bad thing that happened."

There's also the fact that it's more intriguing to give us hints and subtle references to something. The fear of the unknown is worse than the true, explicit details, because then the reader is filling in the blanks in their own mind and imagining how bad it must have been by seeing what is before them: the traumatized character.

The earlier the trauma happens, the more it changes a character

There is a reason that any therapist will ask you about Adverse Childhood Events (ACEs): because it completely shifts who you are and affects you forever. I won't bore you with the research, but those who went through childhood trauma are more likely to have substance abuse issues, heart disease, mental health problems, social challenges, and much more. The list of things that correlate to child abuse is honestly very depressing and shocking.

This isn't to say that adult abuse isn't going to cause problems, but it won't be quite as deeply rooted and horrifying as childhood trauma. Your character will likely not go through a 180 degree shift because their personality is already well rooted. Children are still having their personality molded by their environment and are going to be more deeply scarred.

Characters do not always tell every single person about the trauma

My greatest annoyance. Characters putting it all out into the open for every single person to know about is just ... unrealistic. Even if it just happened yesterday, not everyone is going to know. Certainly if it was childhood trauma, only a few select people are going to know about it, especially in explicit detail.

For example, the vast majority of people sexually abused as children never disclose the abuse to anyone. Anyone! This makes it incredibly challenging to identify how many people were molested because so many people don't want to share.

There's a lot of shame and vulnerability that comes from disclosing abuse, and everyone, no matter who they are, wants to avoid pain. It's in our nature. There's also the fact that if it was a childhood event, the child was likely threatened with punishment if they disclosed, and that will carry on into adulthood. They will be afraid of repercussions if they share it, even if their abuser is dead or absent.

As such, you need to decide on the circle of trust. Who would your character rely on when wanting to discuss their problems? Maybe a lover, a close friend, or a parent.

One quick note here: it's actually pretty common for people who went through trauma together to not discuss it with one another. Neither wants to trigger their friend/relative/partner/etc by bringing it up, so there may just be an unspoken agreement not to mention it. If they do discuss it, it might be in more vague and referential terms instead of explicit exposition.

Characters themselves may not be explicit when discussing the trauma

It's just not realistic for your character to go through every exhaustive detail of any traumatic event when sharing it with someone. They may say "my dad hit me a lot," or "I saw a car crash," or "I was assaulted," etc. There will be brief sum-up statements, not a gory and intense description of it, for example:

"Something bad happened."

"He hit me."

"I was trapped."

"I was assaulted/raped."

"I fell."

"There was a car crash."

"Someone died in front of me."

"I was there when [x] happened."

"There was a robbery/break-in."

"I was kidnapped."

Or the classic:

"I don't want to talk about that."

Our minds don't want to make us relive it, so we will keep it vague to avoid triggering ourselves. For some people, they dissociated during the event and don't even have those details to share because they weren't consciously encoded.

Think of a bad thing that happened to you. If someone asks you, it's very unlikely that you're going to walk through it step by step for them. More likely, you'll summarize it. Your characters will do the same.

Action points for writing trauma:

Consider when the trauma happened to decide on the impact.

Pick one or two types of trauma (death of a parent, sexual assault, being mugged, getting into a car accident, watching someone die, etc) and then stick with that only.

Identify what a character would have been had they not been traumatized, and then shift that personality based on the kind of trauma.

Decide whether it's necessary to show the abuse.

Focus on sensory details rather than explicit narration when doing. any form of flashback: sights, sounds, smells, textures, how hot or cold it was, pressure, etc.

Sprinkle flashbacks throughout in snippets as they become relevant based on a trigger.

Don't trauma dump the entire experience of past trauma on the reader in one go because the character wouldn't do that themselves.

Remember that people may dissociate during a traumatic event and their own descriptions might be vague and dreamlike.

Look at the scene yourself and consider what might become a trigger. A certain perfume? Cigarette smoke? A birdsong?

Decide who would be told based on relationships with the character. Again, the checkout clerk isn't going to get the details. Maybe a therapist, a partner, a close friend.

People who were traumatized together may avoid any discussion of it.

Characters will typically summarize the experience when talking about it to others unless they have a very, very close relationship.

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blooming-violets · 7 months

Note

just finished five minutes. what other angsty goodness do you have to offer?!

Something Unforgivable

Peter cheats on his depressed, grieving girlfriend and feels like shit about it (as he should!!) and then part three randomly turns into a sex trafficking ring and murder fest story to spice things up.

Dancing On My Own (and the sequel)

People literally despise the fuck out of Peter in this fic. I seemed to have managed to make a typically beloved babyboy the most hated character. Then I tried to redeem him a bit but only made it worse and made people hate him more...but it's angsty af. And I personally think the ending fits their characters perfectly and makes total sense based on how I wrote them/their trauma/backstory buuuut it doesn't make people happy! ANGST

Nicest Thing

Honestly, this fic was written way before Dancing On My Own but they sort of have very similar vibes and I used a lot of inspo from this one to write DOMO. Like they could be the same Reader character person just in a slightly alternate universe. Peter's bff who's in love with him but he loves Gwen and then she dies and he's depressed and his friend tries to help him but it's hard to help grieving angry people.

Pinky Promise

there's children trying to jump off buildings and terrible fathers and attacks on nyc and two sad people just trying to find love in the midst of it all

Imminent

you see the future and that future shows Peter Parker's death. This is one of my favorite things I've done and I don't even think it's written that well but I think it's a unique concept and therefore it's my fav

Creature Like Me

This is my pride and joy. It's my baby. This is the most "I'm writing for me and only me" story I've ever done. It's just me pumping out chapters and like three people reading and cheering me on. And I have genuinely loved every single second. I. Fucking. Love. This. Story. So. Damn. Much.

Don't

This is short. Peter's an asshole during a fight. I like it because Reader stands up for herself and draws some boundaries. Don't let men treat you like shit. That's the message.

Are You Real?

Someone asked to me write fluff but I didn't see that so I defaulted to angst instead. A touch starved reader in a long distance relationship with Peter.

Touch Starved

Another touched starved but it's Peter who's in need of love.

From my Hurt/Comfort Bingo (that I should get back to completing some day): Caring for Reader's Wounds After Fight (home break in), Look At Me (stuck in an armed robbery), Car Accident (title speaks for itself, ended up as a 3 part mini series), Bring Your Kids to Work Day (reader is stuck in a fire with two kids and no way out)

Smut with Angst elements:

Cheating With Peter

Your marriage sucks, you're in love with Peter, all he seems to want is sex from you though and nothing more so you give it to him bc at least it means you'll be his in some sad pathetic way

In The Dark

Depressed reader needs Peter's help to find her way out of the darkness of her mind (through anal sex, apparently)

Ok that should be more than enough to keep you satisfied.

#asks #andrew garfield #andrew garfield fic #peter parker #peter parker fic #tasm #tasm x reader #peter parter x reader #tasm peter parker #tasm peter parker x reader #tasm peter #tasm peter x reader #tasm fic

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moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown · 3 months

Text

Me: thinking how I would def be the type to fall into Armand’s angel of death way of hunting humans when he needs to feed.

Imagine, you’re severely mentally ill, been on meds for years but it’s ya know, still mentally fucked in your upstairs cause trauma, you blog about it and suddenly your 18-25, still having that lingering thought of wanting to off yourself, maybe you’ve tried a few times to end it (hi that’s me I have tried 3 times. Trust me it’s not worth it, just think of your animals and how they need you and it keeps ya hanging on this has been a PSA from me)

Now your sat in your room and get a message or see someone pop up with similar things to you, and you answer, it’s Armand, he tells ya all the things you want to hear, and it’s great, it’s nice, he gets you, you get him, and he starts slipping in these little things, they plant into your brain, he asks to meet up, you go to his penthouse, and he says “if you make it to this place by sundown, I’ll give you x amount of money” and you being a severely depressed human are game, like fuck it either i die or i get enough money to live hella comfortable.

So you agree, I mean according to Google maps, it’s only an hour and a half walk, and he said it’s easy. And if he really is a vampire, well he can’t go out in the sun right? Right.

So your walking out of the penthouse, and he said you had like a 5 minute head start, so you think taking the easy way is to convenient, to simple, so you slip in and out of buildings, blending with the crowd, you make it roughly 30 minutes, then he’s found you, he’s fast, the sun is out still but he’s in front of you? So maybe it’s not the sun…maybe it’s later than you thought.

Your heart is slamming in your chest and you realize, he’s speaking,

‘Rest now’ and suddenly yours calm, you body isn’t heavy, you feel comfortable. Safe. He sits with you on a bench, he’s staring off as the night sky darkens

(This is taking from my life so ya know trigger warning for that)

“You’ve wanted this for a long time, a sister who hurt you, parents who neglected you, a baby sitter who caused trauma I understand well. You would hurt yourself but now that doesn’t do anything anymore, you starve yourself only to binge and hate yourself after. You’re lonely, and always have been. And now you sit waiting every day for the night to come so you can sleep and dream of a life better then this.”

And he’s right, he’s dead on, suddenly your eyes are tired, you’re so tired. Have you always been this tired? This in need of rest.

“I’m the quiet you called for, craved, when you over dosed, you heard me calling to you. And I’ve come. Finally. I’m sorry for making you wait so long.”

And the rest is a blur, a warm, safe blur, his hand is on your face, his voice soft and calm, his eyes hold a caring in them you’ve never seen from anyone before. It’s beautiful,

He looks at you and you see flashes of a life you don’t know if it’s real memories or false ones, a life of something or someone that is shaped like you but you don’t know if it is.

“You sit on a bed, in a room, not wanting to move even as someone yells for you to hurry.”

‘I have work soon. I have some bullshit meeting with my manager’

“Rest now. Come I’ll hold you while you rest”

And it’s a warm saftey, you don’t notice how the world has stopped, time is frozen, you can’t feel your body anymore, but had you ever really felt your body.

You rest against his shoulder, he smells like something spiced and smoky, warm tea or maybe it’s just the air around you, like the warm feeling of falling asleep, it’s only a sharp pain in your neck before you start to see the world blur, your body is cold, but it’s comfortable

And then it’s dark, nothing, maybe it’s the afterlife, maybe it’s a dream. You didn’t know what it felt like when your heart stopped. But you know they found your body at some point, people came to your funeral, money was sent to your family for it, from some company or charity….

He was the quiet you needed and wanted.

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #armand #amc iwtv #the vampire armand #armand de romanus

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terminasoulscramble · 4 months

Text

AU Character Skills

Tanaka, Yellow Mage

Thought the yellow mages were like a confidence thing, went to the dungeon expedition cause he thought it was a self development retreat, found nas'hrah and begrudgingly accepted magic as real.

-Counter-magic

-Vulnerable

-Rugged Good Looks

-Spice Forge

-La Danse Macabre

Daan, Salesman

After his parents left him, he turned to odd jobsinstead of working for the baron, some of which were not legal. He however still met elise but it was more of a week long fling. Later on, he found his way to a job as a typewriter salesman. He is still equally miserable.

-Typewriter Toss

-Lockpicking

-Magna-Medical

-Masturbate

Samarie, Therapist

Was spared from the worst of the ninth circle because the mob saw potential in her. She ended up with Marina, but had complicated emotions about loving her as her girlfriend but fearing her as her boss. She resented the jobs they had her do, and ultimately ran away. She started an independent therapy practice, using her mind reading abilities to help people.

-Steal

-Mind Read

-Persuade

-Diplomacy

Leviticus, Dark Apprentice

After Marina left, Father Domek still wanted a kid to mold in his image, so he adopted the first kid he could find who looked vaguely like marina, adopting him as his new son and heir. Trans levi is canon in this au, Domek was relieved to finally have a son, he is a trans inclusive radical misogynist

-Warding Sigil

-Melee Proficiency

-Slow Metabolism

-Bury the trauma

Abella, Lieutenant

One way or another joins the NLU, ends up getting sent on a deep cover espionage mission to put down the Kaiser. He kept avoiding her, as if he somehow knew, so when she caught wind of the endgame for the Bohemia campaign, she deserted and tried to cut him off at Prehevil.

-Weaponcraft

-Gunslinger

-Analyze

-Intimidate

Henryk, Dreamer

After family friend Pavel Yudin moved in, nothing in this man's life has gone right. Pav outshines him in every way, and his family loves him more doesn't believe in his dreams of becoming an ac-tor. He has tried to deal with this problem in various ways, failing in increasingly unlikely manners. In short, he wants this twink obliterated. Traveling to Prehevil is just the best way to kill him without suspicion. Plus, if he gets a role in that new movie being made, all the better.

-Undergrowth Awareness

-Toxicology

-Bloodlust

-Killing Intent

Olivia, Hunter

Following her injury, she was visited by a yellow-clad family member she's never met who helps her become more independent from her family. Her relationship with her sister was still strained, but for the opposite reasons. Her sister was suspicious of this supposed family member, but Olivia thought it was just jealousy. Now, she makes money as a big game hunter

-Trapcraft

-Marksmanship

-Gun Proficiency

-Devour (can't be gained through intro)

Marcoh, Field Medic

Marcoh faked his way into a job as a medical assistant, eventually being drafted once the war started. He did his job dutifully, up until the first whispers of the war having ended, making a mad dash to reunite with his sister.

-Diagnosis

-Medicinal

-Organ Harvest

-Fast Attack

Marina, Mobster

Marina's mom suspected that Domek wouldn't give up on making her a dark priest, so she sent her off to live with an uncle for a bit. This uncle had a debt to the mob, which he repayed by giving them Marina. She was adopted by a man named Ricardo, who claimed she was the child of one of his many mistresses. She bided her time, slowly gaining the fear and respect of her peers, eventually arranging an accident for her adoptive father at 14. She did not end up taking power, but instead installed a puppet leader to keep her spot for a bit. It was around this time where she met Samarie and saw potential. She rescued her from the ninth circle and put her to work in interrogation, eventually catching feelings. When Samarie betrayed those feelings by leaving, she was furious. She is now in Prehevil to tie up some loose ends, being her father, and upon learning she's here, her ex. This is basically a sold to the mob wattpad story taken 100% seriously.

-Precision Stance

-Counter Stance

-Order, Charge!

-Order, Defend!

August, Biologist/Broadcaster

Basically David Attenborough, never home for different reasons tho. Loves nature and photography, known to spend hours getting the perfect shot. Slightly less buff than he is in canon, due to less parkour.

-Advanced Botanism

-Sisu

-Leg Sweep

-Camera Flash

Karin, Mechanic

Was ousted from her job as a reporter due to digging too deep, and now works as a mechanic. Connected to the NLU by learning about their meeting place and quite literally breaking down the door to beg to join, but she won't admit to the last part.

-Explosives

-Short Circuit

-Whistleblower

-Bob and Weave

Pav, Chef

After getting too close to the Kaiser and losing an arm in an incident he won't talk about, he layed low at his old buddy Henryk's place, paying for his stay by working in his restaurant/hotel. He quickly picked up cooking as a skill, even starting to see Henryk's parents as his own. When they die, Pav will get the hotel, and Henryk will get most of their money and non-hotel posessions. They are on their way to the Big City™ to get their ducks in a row.

-Masterchef

-En Garde

-Adrenaline Rush

-Perfect Guard

O'saa, Dark Priest

Instead of joining up with the yellow mages, O'saa found his way to the Vatican and became a dark priest. Trading one group of selfish bastards for another.

-Meditation

-Engrave

-Greater Occultism

-Advanced Occultism

Caligura, Boxer

Fucked with the wrong person and got demoted to a grunt, being sent to the meat grinder boxing ring, somehow survived each time.

-Escape Plan

-Bare-Fisted Proficiency

-Quick Jabs

-Poison Tip

#termina soul scramble #caligura #august fear and hunger #karin sauer #marina domek #daan von dutch #pavel yudin #marcoh fear and hunger #kida tanaka #levi fear and hunger #f&h henryk #fear and hunger abella #olivia haas #o'saa

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lovesickheize · 2 years

Text

𔘓 sex with the boyz based on tarot . . .

hyung line version ( sangyeon jacob younghoon hyunjae juyeon )

lee sangyeon

dominant. yeah.

this is not about the romantic, lovey-dovey stuff, it's hardcore sex and plenty of it but in a sex-for-the-sake-of-it sense

promising future that goes on all levels: love, sex, emotions, mentality, spirituality

is probably into mutual masturbation

whatever inhibitions and lack of confidence will disappear. into body worship and praising (giving)

consider hot, pleasurable sex and laughter after it. then, again... and again... passion overdose

sheer raw lust that takes over

into threesomes or sex w more people, doesn't care abt their gender.

experimentalist, exhibitionist & voyeur

honest, harmonious, fulfilling sexual relationships. trust-based sex.

the type of guy to make you fall for him even if you are in a serious relationship & won't give up on you until he gets into your pants and eventually dates you

kinda workaholic so sex is his way to relax

jacob bae

good energy flows into his sexual relationships, making them passionate and loving.

good sexual relationships that are based on trust

prefers the comfort of his home. likes cozy sex

might also be the one who is giving the most in the sexual relationship, but would like to receive a little bit more

likes risky stuff, but hesitates a lot.

skillful and playful

the way he thinks affects his performance. if he's not feeling confident or something's bothering him in his non-sexual life, sex won't be satisfying for neither part.

sometimes he needs a change, maybe wants to try smth new but he's afraid to ask his s/o if they are ok with it. he's shy and won't start a conversation about such matters himself.

kim younghoon

the type to boost your confidence & praise you for the smallest things.

really loyal, is searching for his true soulmate

might have some kind of sex related trauma

his sex life is blocked by illusions and fears, which may manifest as social anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, low self-worth and feelings of repression.

is afraid to receive what he gives, feels like he's not worth it.

falls in love easily, so one night stands are a no for him after realising he catches feelings after just one night.

jealous sex. lets his frustration out w sex.

crazy passion (like the good leo sun he is), great stamina. can go for a l o t of rounds.

likes to discuss things before trying them in the sheets. he has a lot of not so ordinary fantasies but is too shy to express them.

can be rlly kinky but also rlly vanilla. his sex wants and needs are not static and might even change during the thing.

lee hyunjae

gives and receives the best sexual experiences.

strong sexual desires and spirit of adventure.

experimentalist to the core.

likes sex in unexpected places. he'd take his s/o against the kitchen table or in the pool. there's nothing holding him back.

really confident about himself and what he can do.

would approach the person he is interested in without hesitation or shame. he makes sure there's raw sexual energy that the said person would not be able to resist. BODY LANGUAGE.

angelic-looking guy who is devil in flesh - in a good way.

sex is the most important part of a relationship according to him

extremely powerful sexual compatibility based on deep emotional connection, similar sexual interests and desires as well as physical attraction.

fiery passion, a lot of romance and kisses. speed and sex go together here.

a lot of flirting ( w his s/o ) even if he is in a relationship.

sexual depths with high levels of intimacy and ecstasy. is probably monogamous.

rejection makes him mad. really mad.

he wants his s/o to be open to discuss abt new fantasies and desires, to spice up things. encourages his s/o to always talk abt things that are bothering them in the sheets. needs both sides to be fully satisfied.

lee juyeon

a really happy sexual partner. he loves every type of sex with his s/o.

a strong and powerful partner that likes to dominate.

he always makes sure things are okay before continuing whatever he is doing or trying something new.

he might find it difficult to forgive his s/o if they do something he doesn't like. that can either mean that he needs to talk about new kinks before trying them or that he likes to let out his frustration or jealousy through sex.

friends to lovers through sex is his type of thing.

into threesomes, but needs to know he isn't gonna lose his s/o bcz of it. kinda monogamous but not 100%

would experiment w a same sex partner

voyeur.

tries to make his partner comfortable with new kinks and fantasies and removes shame and guilt about their sexuality, masters communication w them.

eric is back! my baby eric is back<333 so today's song rec is apocalypse by cigarettes after sex cuz it reminds me of him!

-lita.

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ac3-76 · 4 months

Text

Legend of korra headcannons🐌

warnings: brief mention of drinking(kinda alcoholism), other than that nothing

(Most of these are in a modern setting)

Wing Beifong is a motorcycle guy and posts Aushen Ride type videos

Varrick is a coffee addict and he has awful coffee breath

Korra got a stingray tattooed on her upper back. the tail goes down her spine and the wings(?) are on her shoulder blades

If Formula 1 is a thing in their universe, Future Indistries is one of the og teams

Asami would have future industries make a feminine car for the races taking place in Women's History Month (march)

And for the cars used by the drivers outside of March there'd be something feminine on it, like a lip stick kiss mark

She started it because she wanted a more feminine touch in the sport to show that you can be a girly girl or a girly person and still enjoy and partake in something that's traditionally masculine

I feel like in general she uses her cars to bring awareness to things occurring in society

When Bolin got paid for the Nuktuk series one of the first things he bought was a high quality gaming set up that he had his eye on for years

Now he streams him playing video games and makes a fair bit of money from it

Sometimes the others will play games with him and make apperances on his streams

the fan favorite is Asami because she has the best builds in Minecraft and the best strategy in Call of Duty

Mako likes to watch Criminal Minds and other law/criminal shows to see if he can figure out where it's going and solve it before the characters do

Wu photoshops everything that he posts and is very active on all social media platforms

when Korra went on her own for 6 months after Zaheer tried to kill her, she started drinking because it made her sleepy

she didn't have to be awake and deal with her hallucinations, and when she slept it was nothing, no dreams, no nightmares, just hours of being away from her trauma

being with Toph in the swamp for a couple of weeks(or days?) was the start of her recovery from becoming reliant on drinking to avoid dealing with trauma

Opal collects cool rocks and crystals she finds in the places she travels to

She gets them as gifts for her mother

Also because she's an Air bender and thus follows the air nomad life style, she's always sure to say thank you to the land for allowing her to give the rock to her mom

Huan has had his art in museums and has sold some pieces to well known rich people

He gives most of the money to charity

Mako sleeps on silk sheets only

he was fine with cotton and other cheaper materials until he became Wus bodyguard

Wu insisted he sleep on silk sheets after Mako told him that he had never slept on silk, and now Mako needs silk sheets

Korra's had the same black 21 oz hyddroflask since she was 15

she refuses to buy another waterbottle

it's also covered in stickers

Bolin got Pabu a bed that was specially made for Pabus size, weight, and measurements

Kinda like the one Princess Anneliese had for her cat, Serafina, in Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper

Korras favorite thing to do when she sees a book or something with words is to ask how much spice in it

She's at a restaurant with Asami, they just got the menu, Korra picks it up and displays the front cover to Asami before asking "Booktok girlys before I read this how much spice is in it?"

She thinks it's the funniest thing ever

Wei and Bolin stream and play video games together, Wei has very severe anger management issues when it comes to video games

Not punch a hole in the wall bad because Su got mad at him the one time he did punch the wall, so he's practiced restraint, but still pretty bad

Su has a wax warmer for the scented wax cube things in every room of her house

She makes sure the scent is changed every week, and it has to be the same scent throughout the whole house

Tenzin avoids using social media and most technologies, as do the air nomads and monks, but Kya did get Tenzin to allow her to make a social media account for the air nation

it's mostly run by Jinora and owned by Kya on Kyas phone

it's used to spread information about the air nation, their culture, beliefs, customs, history, etc.

Lin wears boxer briefs

Asami has endometriosis

Mako doesn't handle spicy food that we'll, which is odd considering he's a fire bender

Wei's really into photography and always has a compact camera on him

His favorite compact camera is his Panasonic Lumix TZ95

Wings not super into photography but knows his way around a camera because Wei has rambled on about cameras and angles to him so many times

Wing also has to take pictures for Weis Instagram so he's had training on how to use cameras from Wei

Korra goes through a lot of interest that last for a couple of months, one of those interest was wood working/carving

Korra made Jinora a wooden claw clip for her birthday once

it's the only claw clip Jinora has and she loves it

Makos biggest guilty pleasure is cross stitch and other embroidery styles, but mostly cross stitch

Bolins bed has an uncountable number of pillows on it

After Korra and Asami come back from their spirit world vacation, they decide to travel the world

They both only ever traveled for world saving business, and even then it was earth kingdom and water tribe areas only

So they spent the next year or two traveling the world to see it in a tourist way and not a fighting war way

#wing beifong #korra #LoK #Asami sato #mako #bolin #beifong family #jinora #tenzin #lin beifong #legend of korra #legend of korra headcannons

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yukidragon · 1 year

Text

Sunny Day Jack - Love and Sex Headcanons

You read the title, you know what the topic is about; I’m going to be rambling off my personal headcanons for the romantic and sexual preferences of the main cast of Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack. This is as it applies to my fanfics Sunshine in Hell and Sunshine in Another World, so I’ll be including my version of the MC, Alice King.

Content warnings: This fandom/game/content is for Adults Only. There is talk of sex in this post. A lot of it. I will be going into graphic detail at times, as well as touch on some serious issues on occasion, such as SA, trauma, negative body image, toxic relationships, religious guilt, homophobia, bigotry, past child abuse, sex work, and such.

While I intend to keep things mostly spicy and sweet, sometimes darker topics affect a person’s view about sex and preferences, since sex can be complicated that way. This is especially the case if a character deals with some traumatic experience that relates to their sex life/sexuality. I will try to trod lightly on the heavier topics when I can.

I must emphasize that, while I draw information from the game’s canon as shown in both versions of the demo, Sleepy Time Jack, as well as official information/art and development images/posts, ultimately these are my personal headcanons. They might not completely line up with what’s going to be canon in the final game. These are just what’s currently canon for the Sunshine in Hell continuity and what feels right to me personally when it comes to the characters.

I say currently canon since stuff changes as I develop things and play with the characters more. They’ve definitely evolved since I first played the demo. Heck, they’ve even evolved since I started working on this post due to how long it’s taken me to get this finally finished.

Since this post will be using official/development art to help illustrate my points at times, I want to give my friend Sauce full credit for their awesome art and for creating this game with all its wonderful characters and ideas in the first place.

Please consider supporting them and the rest of the SnaccPop Studios team by signing up for the official patreon. Also, consider buying a full size print of this steamy cropped piece of art with a special toy included. It would help out a lot of lovely hard working people and give you access to the many cool posts on there, as well as juicy lore tidbits. A fair number of these posts influenced my headcanons, which you’ll only be able to see if you join up. Remember, don't share anything privately posted on patreon!

While I’m at it, here’s links to the official twitter, tumblr, itch, steam, and kickstarter pages for Sunny Day Jack, which are also places where I got information and inspiration for these smutty headcanons.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

Okay, with disclaimers, promotions, and tags out of the way, let’s get down to the spice.

…

This post won’t encompass every single thing that the characters find arousing/attractive, since there’s no way that I can think of everything for one post, but I’ll write as many kinks, desires, and preferences that come to mind.

First, let’s have some general headcanons that apply to all the main characters. None of them have a preference when it comes to gender. It doesn’t matter what’s in someone’s pants or how they identify. What matters to them is what’s in their partner’s heart and usually that’s the most attractive quality a person can have.

Consent is king! All the characters want consent from their partner/love interest, particularly enthusiastic consent. While some might be pushier than others when it comes to wanting sex/romance, at the end of the day, “no” means “NO.” Everyone’s consent matters.

Now onto the specific characters, starting with the star of the show…

Jack(tor)

Jack has two sides to him - that of the character known as Sunny Day Jack that he’s trying to embody, and that of the actor who used to be known as Joseph Cullman. While he polished the rough edges off of the persona that he presents to the world, at the end of the day, he can’t change his likes and dislikes so easily. A lot of his desires as Jack have been influenced by the desires he had as Joseph… as long as they don’t cause him to break character. There’s a level of what’s “expected” and “acceptable” for him to like as the kid friendly Sunny Day Jack, and what this naughty, naughty yandere really desires deep down inside. We can see evidence of this in his BDSM test results.

Overall, Jack is quite dominant when it comes to his sexual desires. Specifically, he’s a service top, focusing on controlling the scene with his partner’s pleasure in mind. He wants to make his partner feel his love in every sense of the word.

Jack is pansexual/panromantic. He doesn’t discriminate, and can find any sort of body type or personality attractive, but that doesn’t mean that he’s indiscriminately able to fall in love or lust with just anyone. His desire to be loved has led him to make poor choices in his past and has led to him growing attached to people who took advantage of how desperate he was to be loved.

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are linked when it comes to Jack. He’s not going to desire someone sexually unless he’s experiencing romantic feelings towards them, so usually the two things come together at the same time.

Once Jack falls in love with someone, he is very, very loyal. It will take a lot to get him to let go of these feelings. He’s also very much the jealous type, wanting to monopolize the person he’s in love with, which results in him being fairly clingy. Though, he is willing to compromise on just how clingy he is for the sake of his partner’s wants and needs, provided that he’s not at risk of losing them. At the end of the day, he loves sincerely and wants the person he loves to be happy.

While Jack has claimed in an audio drama Q&A posted on patreon that he theoretically might be open to entering a polyamorous relationship, ultimately, what he really wants is a closed monogamous relationship. He might have lots of love in his heart to give to as many people as will accept it and him, but at the end of the day, he can’t stand the idea of losing someone who actually loves him, particularly the person he loves the most. As I’ve mentioned in past headcanon posts about Jack getting into a poly relationship, (which you can read here and here) I don’t think it would be a healthy balanced relationship between all parties if he were to go into a poly relationship, and as such I think he’s better suited to a single partner.

That isn’t to say that I don’t think Jack would refuse to have sex with someone besides his partner… provided that his partner is the one who wants him to do so. He might not want it himself, but he is willing to consent to it provided his partner is there to watch him do it. He’s willing to consent to quite a lot of things for the sake of love, even if he dislikes them or it makes him uncomfortable. After all, if he’s willing to kill for the sake of his love, there’s a lot of other unsavory things that he’ll be willing to do.

As shown in this early development art by Sauce, Jack isn’t exactly happy to encourage his rival to hurt themselves, as we see from his forced smile, but he’ll do what he must for the sake of keeping his sunshine. Even though this is technically not-canon, it has helped shape my idea of how going down this path causes damage to his psyche and isn’t something he would want if he could avoid it.

In a lot of ways, Jack is a sexual chameleon, eager to please his partner. While he is keen to try different things and experiment in the bedroom, he won’t push any kink that his partner doesn’t want or reacts badly to. Sure, he’ll attempt to convince them to give something a try when it comes to a kink that excites him if they express reluctance, and he’ll want to know what’s wrong so he can fix it or otherwise accommodate them if possible, but at the end of the day, he won’t ever force anything onto his partner. Their pleasure is his pleasure.

Jack is addicted to his partner’s love, attention, desire, pleasure, and validation above all else. This is why he thrives on hearing his partner praise him and tell him just how much they love him. Words of affirmation is his primary love language, as we’ve seen with how ready he is to shower his sunshine with words of love, and how much it meant to him that his sunshine verbally confirms that they love him.

Jack also gets excited by the idea of others seeing him being loved so much by his partner, which is where his exhibitionist kink comes in. He’s the one who is special to his sunshine, not anyone else. They can only watch with envious eyes while he shows them exactly what they’re missing out on. It’s quite a turn on to show the world just how much he’s loved, that he’s the only one special enough to be loved by his sunshine like this. Only he deserves his partner’s love, and only he can make his sunshine feel this good and loved. He would have sex in public before an audience with his sunshine if his partner consented to it, provided that it’s made clear to everyone involved that he’s the only one his partner truly loves and needs more than anyone else.

Another factor that plays into his exhibitionism is his desire not to be forgotten. His past as Joseph is full of moments where that left him feeling discarded and unlovable. The more people who focus on him, the less likely he is to be forgotten.

Cuckolding is definitely something Jack hates, at least if he’s the one being forced to watch his partner have sex with someone else. Even if other people are involved during sex, he needs to be his partner’s primary focus. If he’s the most important person to his partner, then he can at least tolerate others’ involvement. He doesn’t want to have sex with someone that he’s not in love with (or at least not strongly emotionally connected to romantically), but if it made his partner happy, he would do it for their sake… though he would need them to shower him with love and encouragement the entire time.

However, if Jack is the one cuckolding someone else, like, say, Ian… now that’s a different story. Tied to the degrader kink, Jack wants to show that he’s more worthy than others of his sunshine’s love. If his rivals are writhing in envy and can see they don’t deserve Alice like he does, well that’s pretty darn exciting. It’s why he’ll be a poor winner and make sure that all his rivals are very much aware who Alice chose instead of them.

Yes, this means that, just like Jack is going to make sure that Shaun overhears him making love to Alice (as I’ve mentioned in previous posts), he’s going to make sure Ian knows that her pretty moans are only for Jack, now and forever. While the incident with Shaun is Jack marking his territory to prevent a possible rival from getting any ideas, with Ian it’s far more personal. Jack wants to make sure Ian feels worthless and inferior to him in every way. I haven’t decided exactly how he’ll go about this, but hopefully he won’t take it too far, hahaha.

Anyway, ultimately, when it comes to involving other people besides his partner, Jack would rather have an audience rather than additional participants: they can look, listen, and envy, but they can’t touch.

At the end of the day though, his partner has a lot of sway in this matter if others are involved in their sex life… for better or for worse.

While love and sex are closely tied in Jack’s mind, he can still perform sexually without romantic attachment, though he would prefer not to. Back before he was an actor, when he was homeless after running away from home, he had to do things that he wasn’t proud of just to survive, which included performing sex acts on a transactional basis. He was used, and he knew full well that he was being used, but he did what he could to survive life on the streets.

This is part of why Jack prefers to be the one dominating. He wants control over his sexuality in a way that he couldn’t have when sex work sometimes was the only thing that kept him from starving to death. Sex workers don’t tend to be treated well by their clients, especially if they’re a homeless drifter without any support network.

Jack did attempt to find love in the past, but oftentimes he was just exploited for his body, which led to toxic relationships similar to the Tragedy of [Redacted] theory in one of my first headcanon posts. His desperate desire to be loved was unfortunately taken advantage of, which led to unpleasant experiences. Sometimes he fell for someone’s charms and actually believed that they actually cared for him, only for that person to just want a quick fuck and not a real relationship, which stomped all over his heart and made him wonder what more he could have done to “deserve” to be loved…

Once Jack became an actor, he went from being ignored to getting too much attention… and all of it shallow, just focused on his body and fame. The interview with Dan was a sore spot for him because he was used in many ways, by people who only saw him as a sex object to use then discard and not as a human who desperately wished to be loved.

This is why Jack’s feelings for Alice are so strong. Due to their connection, he can literally feel that she cares about him in a way that he never could with anyone else. With how much he’s always craved such a connection with someone, their bond has given him reassurance that he never got to experience while alive. He can feel when he pleases her and when he makes her flustered. He can tell when she’s upset and has an easier time spotting when he’s making a mistake with her. There’s security in knowing her feelings for him, and that those feelings are sincere.

The connection also allows Jack to feel what Alice is experiencing physically to some extent, which includes sexual pleasure. For a service top like him who gets off on his partner’s pleasure, it’s addicting to be able to literally feel the pleasure that he’s giving her. He knows when he’s doing well, and he can learn quickly how best to pleasure her. He wants more and more of all of these wonderful feelings this connection with Alice gives to him, so he’ll do whatever it takes to please her so that he can feel more of her love.

While Jack has a huge exhibitionist kink, and the idea of an audience watching him make love to Alice excites him, at the same time he wants to lock her up away from the rest of the world so that they can’t take her away from him. He needs her. He loves her. His very existence depends on her. What she gives him is far too precious to risk losing for any brief moment of pleasure.

As we’ve seen in this development art… Jack would prefer it if it was just him and his sunshine… forever. Between his past and being trapped in the tape, there’s a desperation to him now to not lose Alice and everything she’s given him… and woe be it to anyone who tries to take his sunshine away.

After being trapped in the tape and suffering a hellish fate for 40 years without rest, Jack has become touch starved and clingy. He was love/touch starved even before his death, but the tape made it so much worse. He would be very happy if Alice wanted to hold onto him 24/7. He views having a piece of his soul inside of Alice as similar to getting a hug from her all the time, and vice-versa with the piece of her that she gave to him. Although that piece of her soul is the most precious thing he possesses, he can’t help but be greedy and want more and more of her. He’ll take as much as she’ll give him.

As one might expect, Jack isn’t keen on being separated from Alice for too long. In the past, he could handle giving his partner space for several days if they needed it, but going a full day without his sunshine is unbearable in the present. It was especially rough in the beginning when their relationship was still new, and their connection was fragile.

It just gets so cold without his sunshine…

The sensory deprivation Jack experienced in the tape affects him as well. He’s more sensitive to stimuli than he was before. This makes him so much more aware of the world, especially what he can and can’t interact with. This is especially the case when it comes to his sunshine.

Really, a sunshine that keeps Jack at a distance would just make his neediness worse, as he literally can’t interact with anything else. Sure he can see his surroundings and respond to them, but he needs to be closer to his sunshine to interact with them, including his sunshine. If all he can touch is his sunshine for a long time, it just makes his neediness to be close to them all the worse.

Fortunately, Alice pretty much accepted Jack of being capable of touching and interacting with things right away, so it’s not as bad for him as it could have been... but let’s face it, Jack’s need for sensory stimulation is going to be pretty bad regardless.

Jack is hyper aware of everything about his sunshine - the feeling of her skin, how warm each part of her body is, how soft... All the little folds and curves. He memorizes the sensation of her fingers wrapped around his and just how small she is when he holds her in his arms, completely surrounding her.

Jack is so aware of her scent too, so very, very aware. Most of the time Alice smells of vanilla cupcakes and sugar cookies due to her shampoo and deodorant, but sometimes she puts on perfume or switches things up. He notices it right away when it changes, but most of all he notices how her distinct scent without any perfumes affects it. He’s smelled her products directly - out of curiosity he swears - but it’s not the same. It’s nice... but it’s not her.

Smelling Alice’s pillows and clothes... now there’s where he gets his hit when he can’t be close enough to breathe her in. At the start, she gave him one of her pillows that smelled just like her. She never really gets it back, and when Jack gets sneakier with slipping away to take care of himself, he brings the pillow with him. He buries his face in it as he jerks himself off to thoughts of her, imagining that he’s buried his face in her chest or between her thighs.

When Jack discovers that Alice has a pillow that she props between her legs to sleep more comfortably, he can’t help but imagine her humping that pillow imagining it’s him. She doesn’t, of course, but the fantasy gets to him, and he can’t help but be the one to enact it, imagining that he’s thrusting into where this lucky pillow usually rests. He made sure to clean it up thoroughly afterwards so she doesn’t notice, but seeing her sleep with it after that drives him crazy.

Jack knows using her pillows and clothes like that is wrong, but it’s fine, right? He’s being patient, waiting for the day that Alice is ready to do these things with him. He knows it’ll happen. He can feel how much she cares about him. With every day they get closer... and she’s slowly starting to see just how perfect they are for each other too. One day, he won’t need to settle for a pillow. One day, he’ll be thrusting his cock into all of her holes, listening to her pretty moans that are only for him.

And, well, he’s right, basically. Jack is a very, very happy man when that happens, and he makes sure Alice doesn’t regret choosing him. He’s going to make sure that she enjoys every second of their lovemaking.

Until then, Jack has his fantasies of what it’ll be like. He fantasizes about Alice on a daily basis, often lewd fantasies but sometimes wholesome and sweet like imagining them getting married. He’ll try his best to only imagine what he’s seen of of her so far without assuming what he’ll find underneath her clothes. It doesn’t matter what equipment she has after all, she’s beautiful and perfect to him just as she is. He laser focuses on every new inch of skin he sees, searing it into his mind forever and adding it to his fantasies.

Sometimes it feels to Jack as if Alice is teasing him as well. He would be convinced that she is if he couldn’t pick up on her thoughts. She’s genuinely oblivious how sexy she looks wearing only a too thin t-shirt with no bra, especially when she stretches. She doesn’t notice how her clothes ride up when she stretches or how he drinks her in when she does. He can’t help but notice just how flexible she is and imagine how he might be able to make her body bend around his in various delicious angles. Until that day though, he won’t let anything slip by his notice.

This leads into Jack’s voyeurism kink. This is pretty closely tied to the exhibitionist kink. He loves to show off his sexy body and see the desire in his partner’s eyes. He wants them to know what he has to offer, how good he can make his partner feel, and how good they make him feel. He also enjoys seeing his partner show off their body to him and watching them get off… provided that it’s not with someone else. Watching someone else make his partner moan isn’t his idea of a fun time. Sure his partner is sexy, but… it leaves him feeling insecure. What if they like the other person better? He can’t risk it. They should only be moaning because of him.

So when it comes to voyeurism, Jack would rather watch his partner get themselves off for his pleasure, preferably moaning his name or even begging him to take them. He would even enjoy watching his partner play with themselves in a deliberate effort to tease and entice him. Brat taming is something he enjoys, and making sure his partner knows who’s really in control of their pleasure as he teases them even more than they teased him is quite enticing to him.

Teasing is something that’s all in good fun, as far as Jack is concerned… as long as it remains playful of course. The degrader kink in his case isn’t done with insults like calling his partner a slut or other such degrading insults, unless they explicitly wanted him to do that of course. Rather, it’s the excitement of making his partner feel flustered and overwhelmed, even embarrassed, that’s turning him on. He knows what they’re weak against and uses it against them to leave them a blushing mess, overwhelmed by how he knows them inside and out. No one else could ever be as close to them or know them as well as he can.

An example would be Jack praising Alice for being so wet when he fingers her while she’s standing in the camera’s blind spot at Popov’s, even though she’s worried about being caught doing something so lewd at work. With how flustered she gets in general, and especially when risking getting caught by others, it can be counted as degrading to be praised for doing such a lewd act in a semi-public place. However, he is not making her feel like she’s wrong for being aroused by something she finds embarrassing.

Jack never intends to make his partner feel bad in any way. He only wants to make them feel good. Coaxing them into doing things that get them aroused and overwhelmed in a good way is exciting for him. That’s why he’s also a big fan of overstimulation and orgasm denial. He loves making his partner orgasm repeatedly and watching them come undone. If he can leave his partner a babbling mess, begging him for more or that it’s too much, while clearly enjoying every second of what he’s doing to them, he feels so needed and wanted.

Being teased can be fun as well, though Jack prefers to be teased playfully by a partner who acts a bit bratty, pushing him to work for the prize of satisfying them both. His partner proposing a challenge for him to overcome is thrilling when he can shatter their expectations and leave them totally at his mercy.

Another way Jack enjoys being teased by his partner is if they try to “escape” him, acting as prey to allow him to indulge in his predator kink and chase them down. The idea of hunting his partner, searching for them wherever they run or hide, snatching them up, and getting a good taste of his prey as his prize is delightful. Adding in a bit of bondage as well by tying up his cute little prey adds an extra thrill. Then he can tease them with praise, touch, and affection until he tames them, leaving them begging him for more.

Sure, Jack technically has a cheat mode when it comes to finding Alice due to their connection, since he can sense her wherever she is through it, but that doesn’t mean hide and seek can’t still be fun. He can just pretend that he can’t sense where she’s hiding, really heightening up the tension as he pretends to overlook her hiding spot, coming so close, putting her on edge of being found, only to pass her by. It would be a game in and of itself to tease her with the threat of almost catching her until finally he’s ready to pounce and claim his cute little prey.

Jack isn’t exactly opposed to reversing the game, with him acting as the prey, but he would quickly turn it back around on his partner. With how little control he had in his life while alive, a part of him rebels against being controlled by anyone… though his sunshine is a bit of a unique case.

Alice didn’t have to save him from hell. That was her choice. Jack might have been willing to give her anything if she saved him, but she didn’t actually want anything from him except to save him. It’s for that reason that he’ll do anything for her. He might not want to give up control, but if it was for her sake, he would let her take total control of him as long as she loves him, needs him, and never forgets him.

Really, Jack would find it cute to imagine Alice trying to hunt him down or act dominant with him in the bedroom, especially since he knows that he would soon turn the tables on her and turn her into his adorable prey. It would be more like brat taming for him in that case, teasing and tempting her until she was too flustered to continue trying to keep control, submitting to him and his love~

However, Jack only enjoys predplay if it remains play. It stops being fun if his partner is genuinely scared or in distress from the behavior. It’s the same with any kink really. A good dominant pays attention to the submissive’s comfort and needs, and he’ll be sure to satisfy all of his sunshine’s needs.

Although Jack has been shown in the test to prefer being a sadist, he’s not actually a fan of making his partner feel pain. Back when he was still alive, he could be more comfortable with various forms of mild sadism, such as spanking or hair pulling, but in the present, the idea of hurting his sunshine even in such minor ways is unthinkable. He would only be able to handle dealing out pain to his sunshine if that’s what they sincerely found pleasurable, since he would want to fulfill their needs. Of course, he would be checking in on how they’re doing a bit excessively to make sure that he never gets too tough.

Rather, the form of sadism that Jack enjoys is leaving marks on his partner’s body, particularly kiss and bite marks. It’s physical proof of his love on their skin that shows the world just how much he loves them. It’s not to the point of spilling blood or leaving a permanent scar, just leaving behind evidence of their lovemaking. It’s proof that they’re his. He’s the one who made those marks, and anyone who sees them will know his partner chose him and not them. He won’t bite unless his partner enjoys it of course. If they do, he’s going to get a taste of them and make sure it leaves a mark behind.

I mean look at this screencap. Jack really wants to be nibbling on his sunshine instead of his lip.

This is especially true in the present. Although Jack can’t stand the idea of hurting his sunshine, seeing Alice covered in hickies and bite marks makes him feel more real. He’s left irrefutable evidence of his existence on her skin, and he makes sure to adorn her in as many as she’ll allow, especially in places that she can’t easily cover up. It gives him a thrill to think that anyone who sees her would see those marks and realize that she doesn’t need them. She chose him. She’s his just as much as he’s hers. The world might not be able to see him (yet), but he’s proving that he’s real by showing the world that he’s claimed his sunshine.

Another way that Jack wants to mark his claim on his sunshine is with his cum love. Seeing his partner as a sweaty, overstimulated mess, adorned in a pearl necklace he made for them with a dripping cream pie between their legs just does it for him. He would love to make a mess of his sunshine and admire his handiwork afterwards.

This leads to Jack having a breeding kink. When he was alive, it was more mild than it is in the present. Although being a parent was a bit intimidating for him back then due to his toxic upbringing, he always hoped that he would find a loving partner and be a father someday. Granted, a breeding kink doesn’t necessarily have to lead to procreation, but simply the act of seeding his partner can be just as fun~

With the world being unable to see/hear/touch him, Jack feels more of an urge to leave his mark. Since Alice is the only one that he can interact with, that makes him want to leave his mark on her body in any way that she’ll allow. Getting her pregnant is the ultimate proof that he’s real, and even before she is ready to have kids with him, he’s fantasized about it countless times. In the past, he was thinking of siring or adopting one kid, maybe two, but in the present he wants more kids than that - as many as his sunshine will agree to. The thought of her pregnant, watching her tummy grow larger with his child drives him crazy in the best ways.

Jack is open to experimentation and trying new things, particularly at the request of his partner. He’ll do his best to accommodate his partner’s needs, whatever they might be, even if they’re not to his tastes… provided it doesn’t put them or their relationship at risk. More extreme kinks… he’ll be willing to give them a shot, but if they’re too dangerous or damaging, he’ll try to pump the brakes or at least talk about why his partner is interested in it so that they can reach a compromise that’s healthier for both of them.

As shown in the demo, Jack is very vocal in bed. He showers his partner with praise. He can talk dirty as well, though he could only swear while he was still alive. In the present, his dirty talk is mostly innuendo, as he can’t bring himself to swear anymore. Sunny Day Jack would never swear after all, it would be utterly unthinkable for a kids TV show character. If his partner wants him to degrade them by using specific insults and terms, he’ll indulge them as best as he’s able, but he’ll make sure to dish out extra praise and affection during aftercare so that he can remind them just how much they mean to him. He thinks the world of his sunshine, and he wouldn’t want to risk them actually believing that he really does think such horrible things about them.

Jack is the king of aftercare. If his partner needs anything, he’ll get it even if he’s tired. Need water or a snack? He’s on it. Need cuddles? Oh you bet he’s all over that. Need help getting cleaned up? Don’t worry, he’ll carry his partner to the bath and change the messy bedding for them. Sore? He’ll be sure to gently massage those tense muscles into submission.

Jack’s mouth isn’t just good with words. He has quite the talent for oral play. He loves using his mouth all over his partner’s body, particularly where they’re most sensitive, or where they need extra love. His favorite place to kiss, besides their lips, is their throat, as he can feel his partner’s moans vibrate against his lips, giving him that little bit of extra feedback that he’s doing a good job.

However, the sexiest part of the body for Jack is his partner’s stomach, though he loves every inch of his sunshine. A soft round tummy just does it for the guy, though all stomach shapes are lovely. He just loves having a partner who is soft and perfect for cuddling. He enjoys having a softer partner who he can protect, especially if they’re smaller than him. Caging his soft partner underneath him makes him feel secure, and he’ll keep them trapped in his arms all night long if they let him.

Jack’s favorite positions are ones where he’s facing his partner. He wants to see the expressions they make and kiss them as they make love. He favors the mating press in particular, as it allows him to penetrate his partner as deeply as possible and hit just the right spots to make them scream his name and see stars. He wants to be totally surrounded by his sunshine’s warmth and feel their love all around him.

Jack has a very high libido, so he wants to have sex as often as possible. He would want to do it every day, even multiple times a day if possible, masturbating and fantasizing about his sunshine if not. His stamina was just a bit higher than average when he was alive, but now that he’s a supernatural entity with powers, he can keep going with a very short refractory period. If his sunshine lets him, he could make love to them for hours. Of course, he’ll be considerate about the difference in their sex drives and energy levels.

Being an actor, Jack is excellent at roleplay. In fact, he might be able to get into the part too well at times. In the past, it was easier for him to get carried away with a role (which plays a part in why he’s Jack now instead of Joseph), but in the present, if he goes too far with it, that could lead to him mentally crashing back down when he realizes that he’s acting out of character for Sunny Day Jack. If he can justify Sunny Day Jack playing such a role, he doesn’t have to suffer such dissonance, so any roleplay in the present will have a bit of a primary colored tint to it.

Of course, the more relaxed Jack gets in his relationship with his sunshine, the easier it’ll be for him to slip out of character and be more himself. If these “out of character” moments never result in anything bad and his sunshine enjoys who he is when he’s at his most open and vulnerable… then maybe he’ll be able to be more comfortable acting more like himself instead of the character he wishes he was…

This is the goal for Sunshine in Hell. Although Jack is going to try his best to stay in character as Sunny Day Jack at the start, as he spends time with Alice and the two of them grow closer, he’s able to make himself more vulnerable to her, less guarded. He’s able to experiment more, indulge in the desires he has that Sunny Day Jack would never even think about. Eventually, he’ll be able to be someone who isn’t the character that he portrays, but someone comfortable in his own skin, with someone who loves him as the flawed man that he is and not as the perfect idol that he wishes he was.

I think we’ll wrap things up for Jack on that heartwarming note… especially since his entry has ballooned into 12 14 pages at this point, hahaha. I might have more thoughts in the future, but let’s show the other characters some love too, shall we?

Speaking of love, let’s talk about Jack’s sunshine, specifically my version of the MC for this erotic yandere romance game.

Alice

As I’ve mentioned before in other headcanon rambles, Alice is on the aro/ace spectrum. While she does experience horny thoughts/urges, she doesn’t actually desire someone romantically or sexually unless she’s known them for a while and has developed a bond with them. She can objectively see that someone is attractive and admire them, even feel flustered by the attention that they give to her, but these are platonic feelings. It’s only after she’s been friends with someone and opens up to them that she might develop romantic feelings for them. Even then that’s not always a guarantee. Sexual attraction then follows only after she’s made a deep romantic connection with that person, and only with that person. This would make her orientation demi-romantic, demi-sexual.

Because it takes such deep trust and closeness for Alice to fall in love with someone, when she falls in love, she falls hard… for better and for worse.

Alice is strictly monogamous. She can’t bear the idea of sharing her partner with another person, and she’ll do all she can to serve their needs to the best of her ability. She’s also fairly clingy with her partner, as her love language is primarily physical touch. She loves holding onto her partner as much as possible, playing with their hands or hair, caressing their face, nuzzling into their touch, and in general just cuddling up to them as much as they’ll allow. She can also get silly with her affection, licking or nibbling on her partner playfully if they allow her, and writing words or symbols on their skin with her finger.

Of course, Alice is careful to be gentle when nipping her partner since she has slightly larger fangs than the average person. If she bit down hard, she could draw blood with those fangs… if her partner is into that and convinces her that they really want her to do some damage of course.

Alice is only comfortable with physical touch with someone if she trusts them and has a positive connection with them. If she doesn’t have some level of trust, being touched puts her on edge, even if it’s something as casual as a pat on the back.

The part of her partner’s body that Alice finds most attractive is their chest. Big, small, flat, soft… they’re all beautiful, and she loves to bury her face into her partner’s chest and listen to their heartbeat as often as she can, feeling them breathe as she holds them close. She also enjoys hands, snuggling into them, touching them, lacing their fingers together. It makes her feel so wanted to feel her partner’s hands reaching out to hold her.

Although Alice tends to favor being more submissive in the bedroom, she’s a service bottom, wanting to make sure her partner feels good. She’s not content to be a pillow princess, just lying there and letting things happen to her. She wants to do whatever she can to make her partner feel satisfied and happy… even if that means doing things that she isn’t exactly comfortable with.

Alice struggles to reject anything that her partner suggests, even if it makes her uncomfortable. She wants so badly to be a good partner who is worthy of the person she loves, since she has self-confidence issues. A lifetime of fat shaming from many sources, including society at large, has made her hate how her body looks, and she feels ugly. This is something she struggles with and though she has been called beautiful, she can’t bring herself to really believe it when the majority of people have called her ugly. It didn’t help that she was treated as a weirdo by her peers and isolated or ignored. This has led to Alice feeling a need to “make up” for how “unattractive” she is with acts of service for her partner in the bedroom.

This has led to unfortunate incidents in her sex life. Alice pushed herself to have sex before she was ready, with a partner who didn’t know what he was doing. It was clumsy, even painful, and though she tried not to think about it, she was reminded of the SA she experienced as a teenager. This was not anyone’s fault, but ignoring the warning signs of a trauma trigger can be pretty devastating.

Needless to say, Alice and Ian’s first time was… rough, and full of apologies from both of them, along with a lot of guilt. I touched on how difficult their sex life was in previous posts before, such as this one. Sadly, their sex life played a part in why their relationship turned sour.

Sex with Ian was mostly Alice servicing him with handjobs and blowjobs, with penetrative sex coming infrequently. Unfortunately, Alice didn’t really enjoy the penetrative sex, as Ian tended to go too rough with her, and they both had the misconception that pain was always involved at the start of penetration for the person being penetrated (if not for the whole experience.) Sadly, by this point in their relationship, Alice was having a hard time voicing any complaints that might make Ian feel bad or like he was wrong in some way. She mistakenly believed that she was the problem for not really enjoying or getting off on the experience. After all, there was pleasure along with the pain, and penetrative sex was what all sex led up to, right? Was it even sex without it?

Penetrative sex is so glorified in media, that Alice believes sex is incomplete without it, as if she’s denying that full connection of love with her partner if she doesn’t do it. It might be painful, but she wants that deep connection with the person she loves. Plus, Ian would always be so eager and excited for it. She found him just so cute, and it made her feel good that he desired her so much that he couldn’t hold back. It might have been painful, but it was worth it to be the only person in the world who could drive him so crazy with desire. It was so nice of him to think of her when he wanted to try out a new technique that he was sure would make her feel good, since, ho boy, did the lady in the porn ecchi enjoy it!

Unfortunately, Alice learned over time being with Ian that getting sex techniques from porn really isn’t a good point of reference. That’s why she eventually started reading articles giving advice on sex-friendly websites to get a better sense about real sex, rather than the fictionalized version depicted in porn.

But, hey, at least Ian was happy. Alice took joy in his happiness and satisfaction, and enjoyed the cuddling they did in the afterglow the most. Cuddling, kisses, listening to his satisfied sighs, and hearing how much he loved her were what she enjoyed the most about their lovemaking.

Of course, Alice found that same satisfaction with just cuddling and a nice make out session without sex involved.

Sadly, like a lot of people with little experience, Alice is under the mistaken assumption that penetration hurts at first, but soon goes away. This is an exceedingly common trope in hentai/ecchi where the bottom, regardless of gender, always feels pain at the start of being penetrated but then pleasure makes the pain disappear at some point. It’s treated as expected in this form of media, something unavoidable that must be tolerated for the sake of enjoying sex. Heck, for some people, pain during penetration is a feature of sex, not a bug.

This is why when Alice and Jack eventually have penetrative sex, the fact that it doesn’t hurt even a little bit catches her off-guard. Not that she’ll complain, obviously. This results in making her more enthusiastic about that form of sex than she ever thought that she could be.

Alice does not enjoy pain, at all. It’s not sexy to her to be spanked, choked, insulted, or to be otherwise made uncomfortable and used. She’ll try out something that she might dislike for the sake of her partner’s kinks, and she’ll tolerate things that are painful if her partner feels good, but that doesn’t mean she’ll necessarily get much enjoyment out of the experience.

Inflicting pain or insults on her partner is something that Alice doesn’t care for either. She’s too empathetic, and the idea of doing harm to her partner, whether verbal or physical, even if they take pleasure in it, makes her feel exceedingly anxious. She prefers being gentle, sweet-talking her partner and cuddling with them.

The most Alice would want to do is playful teasing and leaving kiss marks along with gentle love bites. She could be convinced to bite harder, scratch, or spank if her partner was really into that, but she’s far too much of a marshmallow to handle any sort of hard sadism or masochism. Soft, cuddly, vanilla lovemaking full of sweet words and praise is what makes her feel happiest.

Praise is Alice’s biggest weakness. Whether it’s platonic, romantic, or sexual, she gets easily overwhelmed when she’s praised. She loves it, but struggles to accept it due to her low self-esteem. It makes her happy to know she’s doing a good job, and it encourages her to do more when it comes to pleasuring her partner.

Getting positive attention, compliments, gifts, and in general being treated special is something Alice struggles with, even with her partner. It takes her a while to really believe it. Ian actually did a world of good for her self-confidence… before he completely destroyed it when he cheated on her, making it worse than it ever was. Jack has his work cut out for him.

Alice masturbates often, but as a stress relief more than anything else. It’s less about being horny or desiring someone else and more about self-care. An orgasm can be very relaxing after a stressful day. She bought toys to help her do this more efficiently, only rarely taking time out to enjoy masturbation as anything more than a quick stress release. Of course, she finds it more fun to play with toys when she’s sharing them with her partner.

After making the connection to Jack, Alice finds her libido increasing because she is picking up on his horny feelings. It leads to many confusing moments where she wonders why she’s feeling horny out of nowhere far more often than she normally did before, and she does make the connection between those feelings and Jack… but attributes it to him just being that attractive in every sense of the word, which only further confuses her feelings towards him in the beginning.

Once Alice and Jack start having sex, her libido increases substantially due to this connection and how much she enjoys the experience. He’s so attentive to her needs and is so eager to praise her when he pleases her or she pleases him that it’s hard not to get addicted to their lovemaking sessions. While she and Ian would have sex once or twice a week on average, usually to satisfy his desires and not hers, she winds up enthusiastically wanting to have sex with Jack almost daily once they finally reach that point in their relationship.

Being restrained is a complicated kink for Alice. She’s never considered herself one for bondage, and, if anything, she doesn’t think that she’ll like it. Her SA trauma has to do with being restrained against her will, so if she feels trapped during sex, it can cause her to panic. Ian has accidentally triggered this trauma in the past.

Being held down or confined by her partner isn’t so much the issue in and of itself. Alice enjoys the security of being completely engulfed in her partner’s arms, safe and secure. There are times when she would seek it out, loving the feeling of her partner lying on top of her like a weighted blanket. It’s when they won’t let her go even when she indicates she wants them to that the discomfort immediately sets in. Although she tries to power through the feeling and remind herself that she trusts her partner and that they won’t hurt her like the people who committed SA against her, and they care about her… trauma is not always that easy to reason through.

This can be a bit of an issue when you have a partner who has a tendency to lose control of his urges and refuses to let you go or come up for air until he’s satisfied.

Needless to say, this led to moments full of guilt and apologies from both sides between Ian and Alice. This, as you might expect, was one of the big contributors to why they didn’t have sex all that often.

Restraining her partner… now that’s something Alice would be surprised to find that she enjoys. Having her partner tied up and helpless as she lovingly pays attention to their body, maybe even blindfolded so they don’t know where she’s going to touch or kiss next would be exciting.

I think I just had an idea for another short fic to write sometime. Better make a note of this for later.

Ahem, moving on… Alice isn’t one for exhibitionism. She’s a very private person overall, and with her self-esteem issues, she would rather have anything more physical than a kiss or hug be kept private. She doesn’t want to have to think or worry about other people when intimate with her partner, preferring to just focus on her beloved and the intimate moment that they’re sharing. Since she can only get sexual with someone she trusts deeply, she doesn’t want to involve other people, even as an audience.

Sadly, Jack isn’t going to be able to indulge in his exhibitionism kink to the fullest with Alice because of this. Though having sex in risky places where they could get caught is a fair compromise that she winds up enjoying way more than she ever thought she would. She wouldn’t enjoy getting caught though, and it would take a lot of coaxing to get her to try again if that happened, but fortunately Jack is a very sneaky ghost(?) who knows a few tricks to make sure that no one will interrupt when he’s showing love to his sunshine.

Alice’s favorite position is missionary. She loves being held by her partner and looking into their eyes, seeing the love they have for her and how good they’re feeling. She loves the feeling of their body on top of hers like a warm weighted blanket. She loves watching them bite their lip and strain themselves to hold on, or roll their eyes up towards the ceiling from pleasure. Watching her partner’s face and knowing that she’s the one making them feel good makes her feel good in turn. She loves it when they look at her with love and desire, like she’s the only person in the world they could ever feel this way towards.

Face to face positions in general are the ones Alice prefers, though she gets anxious about any position that puts her on top. She’s chubby, and she worries about her weight being too much for her partner. For example, if they tell her to sit on their face and that they want to be crushed by her thighs, she’ll be very skeptical that it’ll end well. It’s something that would take a lot of gentle coaxing to get her to try it, and reassurance that they enjoyed doing it afterwards.

Although Alice’s worries limits her in the amount of positions she’s interested in trying, she’s actually capable of doing a lot of them. Despite being chubby, she’s very flexible, able to do vertical splits and put her ankle around her head, to name a few. This makes yoga the ideal way for her to keep in shape. She isn’t confident enough to work out at a gym, but she doesn’t mind stretching with friends or a partner. She takes pride in her flexibility and her excellent sense of balance, not yet thinking about how this ability could be used to great effect in the bedroom.

Needless to say, those attracted to Alice can be treated to quite a show when watching her do yoga. Jack especially is eager to encourage her to exercise often and is only too happy to help her get into the harder poses. He looks up just how to do them so he knows where he can put his hands just right to help her. Before they’re lovers, it’s always so tempting for him to just “slip” and touch her someplace a bit naughtier... but he respects her consent and boundaries. He won’t touch her someplace unless she wants him to, no matter how badly he wants to put his hands and mouth on every inch of her body.

Naturally, once they become lovers, yoga sessions get a bit spicy. Alice has to wonder if Jack is really eager for her to work out to help her stay fit or if he just wants to experiment with positions. Still, it’s a very pleasurable incentive that encourages her to work out more often. It also encourages her to intentionally tease him with her stretches once she grows more confident in their physical intimacy, going into a playful back and forth that she knows is going to end up with him eventually snapping from the tension, stripping of her workout clothes and taking her against the yoga mat.

Teasing her partner and encouraging them to lose control is something Alice can appreciate. It was a bit risky when it came to Ian since when he lost control it could be painful or even suffocating, so she always had to be cautious about how far to push and be prepared for fallout. With Jack though, he’s always so mindful of her comfort no matter how wild she drives him. That allows her to just cut loose and tease him to her heart’s content, knowing that he’ll never hurt her and it’s only going to feel good.

Driving her lover into losing control over their desire makes Alice feel sexy, beautiful. She wants the person she loves and desires to need her so badly that they can’t think of anyone else. She wants to be irreplaceable. She thought that she found that with Ian, so it was worth the pain, but his cheating proved that she was mistaken. Fortunately, Jack will be all too happy to make sure she knows how special she is and how there’s no one else in the world he could ever want, need, or love more than her.

In general, Alice is very vanilla when it comes to her kinks. She favors the emotional connection between her and her partner, the love and trust they share. That’s why she can only have sex with someone if she feels like she can fully trust that person. After Ian cheated, she couldn’t have sex with him again even when he wanted it, which strained their attempts to repair their relationship and helped her realize that things had gotten too toxic between them to try and go back to the way they were.

Overall, Alice is a very uncertain lover when it comes to her own pleasure or anything that might bring discomfort to her partner. She has an easier time focusing on their pleasure and getting enjoyment out of making them feel good. It’s easy for her to forget about herself in favor of her partner’s pleasure even if she’s uncomfortable, which is why she responds better to a partner who makes sure to stay mindful of her needs during the activities rather than get distracted by their own pleasure.

Speaking of a partner who gets carried away by his own pleasure…

Ian

Ian is someone who was very sheltered by his very strict religious upbringing. In his house, sexual desires were seen as shameful. Even masturbating was treated as a sin. Though he tried not to give in to his urges, he succumbed to his desires more often than not, and it made him feel weird. He loved the pleasure he felt from masturbating and the relief it gave him, but he “knew” that he was being “sinful” by doing so, which would leave him filled with shame and guilt afterwards. This would lead to a lot of repression when it comes to his sexuality. It didn’t help that his peers treated him like a weirdo and made fun of his looks/behavior/tastes, isolating him further.

Because of his upbringing, Ian always had a clear picture of what he was supposed to do to have a successful future. He needed to find one person, get married, have kids, and have a lucrative career. His mother pushed him towards a straight relationship in particular - at least when she wasn’t crushing his spirit that finding a partner was impossible for him at all - but he couldn’t help but find guys and non-binary people attractive as well. He has a lot of crushes, both fictional and not, and he has a secret stash of various media full of many waifus, husbandos, and spousus.

Alice was one such person that Ian crushed on, but with her it was far more serious than anyone else. His feelings for his first and only childhood friend were deeper than surface level. They knew each other better than anyone. She was always there for him, supporting him, and making him feel like he wasn’t such a weirdo after all. Her being a girl had nothing to do with how hard he fell for her, though it did make him feel a little less anxious about his mom finding out about their relationship than he would have if his partner wasn’t a girl.

Ian is someone in heavy denial about his desires due to his upbringing. It’s “sinful” to lust after other people, particularly outside of a straight context according to his mother and the scriptures. It’s “sinful” to have lustful thoughts outside of marriage. Heck, even in the confines of marriage, sex is meant only for the sake of procreation. It made him feel weird about desiring people, so he convinced himself that he simply… didn’t. He went into deep denial, telling himself that people were weird, and since he didn’t know them these feelings weren’t something to think about at all. It was easier that way.

Ian knew Alice though, so she became the exception to this taboo he had been taught all his life when she became his partner. For him, it was okay to lust after his partner… at least as much as it could be with anyone. Though his mother insisted lust, even towards his partner, was only selfishly satisfying his manhood in a sinful way, society often said otherwise. Media and their peers made it seem so normal to have sexual urges and want to explore them. Even Alice insisted his feelings were normal and nothing to be ashamed about. He learned more and more about what was normal once he was out from under his mother’s influence and interacted with other people.

While Ian did learn to accept and even embrace the fact that he’s pansexual/panromantic, it’s not so easy to shake the shame related to his sexuality or sex in general thanks to his mother’s toxic influence.

At his house with his mother, even the internet was restricted. Ian didn’t get access to porn until he moved out to college, and even then, that made him feel awkward. He didn’t know how to handle these weird feelings towards strangers, since he was taught that they were sinful and risked damning him to hell. Lusting after fictional characters seemed okay though. That was just a fantasy, playing pretend. Even his mother had romance books that got pretty smutty, though she wailed into him the one time she caught him going through her stash.

This was what led to Ian having a lot of fictional crushes, anime figures, and, of course, ecchi. While the local library didn’t have straight up porn or hentai, it did have more risque manga stories in the form of ecchi, which is why he insists so hard that it’s not porn. The library would never have anything like porn, so it’s not sinful! This means it’s okay that he has a collection of it. He’s not a sinful pervert!

Ecchi has a tendency to really push the boundaries of what can be constituted as porn though, and Ian absorbed all of the sex in those pages like a sponge. The people in the book always looked to be having fun. Sex was something wild and passionate. The people lost control of their desires and enjoyed themselves in a way that he was always denied. Sex was this all-encompassing force of nature in so many stories, not just in ecchi. He was fascinated by it even as he was afraid of those feelings.

Because of this repression, Ian saw himself in these characters who lost themselves in moments of passion as they claimed their lover. This raw animalistic lust was exciting and really resonated with him. Once he started pleasuring himself and forgot about the guilt of his desires, he would lose control in a similar way. He would keep going until he was satisfied, completely losing himself in the experience… only to be hit with guilt once he came down from the high.

With Alice, Ian had an outlet for his sexual desires. She helped him see that these desires weren’t sinful, and she was eager to help him feel good. She made him feel wanted, beautiful, and sexy. With her help, like many things in his life, he gained more confidence in his sexual urges. He explored his sexuality more, both in fiction and with her, though he was far more hesitant and awkward with the latter.

What didn’t help was the mistakes Ian would make… but, in a way, he was used to making mistakes. He was always making mistakes, always blamed by his mother for just about every reason under the sun even if he didn’t actually do anything. All perceived problems were his fault and so he must apologize. Constantly.

Alice supported Ian when he felt sinful, filthy, and sad. She forgave him for his mistakes and even told him he didn’t have to apologize so much. She loved him and he loved her in return for how strong and supportive she was to him.

Ian would try to make amends for his mistakes with apologies, cuddling, and especially with gifts. His primary love language is gift giving, and thanks to the trust fund his absent dad left him, he could give gifts to those he cared about often. He gives friends and especially his partner presents. He even gives his mother presents to let her know that he still loves her despite everything and that he just wants them to actually have a good relationship… however futile that gesture might be.

Although Ian struggles to be vocal about what he wants when it comes to sex and romance, he can be pretty romantic at times… even if he’s got dirty thoughts in mind to go along with it. He knows how romantic a candle lit bedroom with a bed covered in rose petals while sexy jazz plays in the background really sets the mood. Too bad it didn’t actually work out the first time he tried it.

Sadly, Ian was hoping that if he set the mood just right, he and Alice could finally go all the way and lose their virginity to each other. Too bad the mood died a painful death when Shaun walked in instead, and it was a while before Ian got the guts to try that again… at least while Alice was still rooming with Shaun. Initiating sex with her was much easier after they moved into their own place.

I’ve gone over the reasons why I think Ian cheated in previous posts, here, here, here, and here in detail, so I won’t rehash it too deeply this post.

To sum it up - Ian was on his own for the first time in his life when he moved to the performing arts school, without anyone to support him, particularly his partner. He had grown conventionally attractive as he aged, and he was surrounded by peers who shared his interests, which gave him a taste of popularity for the first time. He was given all sorts of new and exciting experiences, meeting all sorts of people who he found attractive. He grew closer to new people, and without his partner around he grew lonely… which led him to giving in to his desires in the worst way possible.

The experience was exciting. The forbidden nature of it actually made the act more enticing due to how repressed Ian was because of his background. It was all “sinful” after all…

Like a lot of people who grew up heavily repressed by religion, Ian finds arousal in things deemed forbidden and sinful. Despite being bullied as a kid, being degraded sexually is something that turns him on. Though he protests about being teased, he enjoys it, even to the point that being called a beast or a sinful slut makes him feel aroused, though he finds such feelings confusing. He likes being commanded and punished by his partner, completely at their mercy and begging them for more.

While this would suggest Ian is a submissive, he’s actually a switch vers. It doesn’t matter who’s doing the penetrating as long as it feels good. Taking control of his partner and rutting into their holes like an animal feels just as good as being taken. He just needs to learn how to better control his urges so he can pay attention to his partner’s needs and comfort to improve taking the dominant role.

Ian is the type of person who gets lost in the pleasure of sex. Once he gets to a certain point, he starts losing his inhibitions, getting more vocal and needy. He’ll praise his partner and beg for more even when he’s the one dominating, growing increasingly needier as the pleasure grows more intense.

The part of the body Ian finds most attractive is the ass. More than once he’s had thoughts of slapping or squeezing his partner’s ass, but was too shy to give into the urge except when actively engaging in sex. Because of this, his favorite position is doggy style, as we can see in this very NSFW picture by Sauce. He loves the way his partner’s ass bounces with each thrust, and he’ll add to the jiggle with the occasional slap once he loses himself in the moment. As he grows more confident in his desires and represses himself less, he’ll consciously want to explore the kink of spanking.

Bondage, both giving and receiving, is something that Ian would want to try, along with some other kinks, but he doesn’t have the courage to initiate it at this time. In general, he struggles to initiate anything related to sex, as that ties into the guilt and shame that was hammered into his upbringing. However, it’s fairly easy for him to get aroused, which would serve as an unintentional way to initiate sex more often than not.

Being an actor, Ian would thrive with roleplay in the bedroom. It would help him pretend to be someone else, someone more confident and lustful. It could help him lose himself in the moment rather than get caught up in his own doubts and insecurities.

Ian struggles with accepting his own sexual desires, which makes it harder for him to communicate with his partner about his needs. This leads to him taking cues from ecchi on what to do, not checking in with his partner like he should, and getting lost in the moment, letting the urges take him where he wants to go. Once he accepts himself as a sexual being and that it’s healthy to feel these desires, his communication difficulties with his partner should improve.

Having a partner who takes the lead is probably ideal for Ian. Being told what to do is something he’s used to, and he feels more confident with guidance. He worries about making mistakes, but if he’s guided through the scene by his partner, he has less reason to worry. In a way, being so good at taking direction is why he makes an excellent actor.

Speaking of direction, how about we switch over to the next love interest on the list?

Shaun

Shaun has a bit of a wild side when it comes to sex. He loves kitten play, both being the kitten and being the master of a sweet sexy kitten. He’ll put his partner in cat ears, a tail with a butt plug, and a collar with a leash if they let him, and he’ll be open to doing the same in return.

Biting and scratching is another one of his kinks, with some minor sadism and masochism. Spanking, bondage, blindfolds… Shaun is eager to explore unconventional means of having sex.

Shaun’s favorite part of the body is thighs. He’ll happily die suffocated by his partner’s thighs. Lying down with his head in his partner’s lap will make him purr. He’ll wear their thighs as earmuffs and bend them back as he pleases, paying extra attention kissing, licking, biting, and raking his fingernails across them.

Then, of course, there’s thigh-high fishnet stockings. Wear a pair of these, especially when accented with a garter belt, and Shaun turns into a puddle of horny goo, especially if they’re worn by his partner/crush, as shown in this steamy picture by Sauce.

To be fair, this is a very spicy sight. Shaun is a man of taste.

Overall, Shaun is a dominant vers, but he’s willing to submit and be a good kitty… eventually. Cats do what they want after all, and it’s going to take a little more than some ear scritches to get this cat daddy to submit to his partner, which is part of the fun.

Speaking of which, Shaun has a daddy kink. If his partner can be a good little kitten and let daddy pet and play with them as he pleases, he’ll be a very happy cat daddy.

While Shaun leans towards monogamy, he’s actually open to joining a poly relationship if the right people came along. He actually considered what it might be like to enter a relationship with both Alice and Ian, but he found that his vibes just didn’t mesh with Ian at all, and not just because Ian’s taste in anime is trash. He just never felt attracted to Ian like he did with Alice, and they never really connected like he did with her.

Shaun got a crush on Alice while they were taking the same class in college. He met her well before he ever knew Ian. They sat next to each other in class and wound up chatting often. They had stuff in common like horror movies, enjoying goth aesthetic, and being silly goobers who joke around with their friends. They’re also the mom/dad friend types taking care of their friend group. She was just so kind and sweet that he couldn’t help but fall hard for her.

It’s a shame that when Shaun finally gathered up the courage to ask Alice out, she casually mentioned that she was meeting with her boyfriend, breaking the poor guy’s heart.

Poor Shaun. Alice had no idea that he was asking her out on a lunch date instead of just going to grab a bite as friends. She missed all the signals he sent her way.

After that, Shaun tried hard not to think about his crush on Alice. He tried to just be there for her as a friend and move on from his romantic feelings, if only for the sake of their friendship. It was just hard when they had so much in common and had such good chemistry… and he couldn’t help but notice some troubling red flags in her relationship with Ian.

It never really seemed to be the right time for Shaun to try to get together with Alice. First it was because she was already in a relationship. Then she had been cheated on and needed a friend rather than someone who would take advantage of her in her most vulnerable moment. She was still in love with Ian even after the breakup, and wasn’t receptive to anyone else romantically for a long time.

Throughout knowing Alice, Shaun has dated other people. He’s had other crushes and tried to get into relationships, some more serious than others, but none have really worked out so far. He has yet to find someone who clicks with him the way that she does. Hopefully one day that might change. He had hoped that when he went off to another college that the distance would allow him to let go of his romantic feelings.

Sadly, a part of Shaun still couldn’t shake the small hope that maybe someday the stars would align and things could work out between them. Coming back to see Alice again just made all the feelings he thought he got over come rushing back… only for his heart to be crushed again when he finds out that once again she has a boyfriend who isn’t him…

Poor Shaun has it rough. I feel so bad for him. This is why I struggle with writing love triangles, hahaha. Still, I’m going with the headcanon that he does find love with someone eventually, someone who he is glad finally came into his life who he just can’t live without. I don’t have a specific character in mind for that role just yet, but I do have a few possibilities that I’m playing around with…

With that said, let’s move on to the fourth and final love interest.

Nick

I’m still indecisive on Nick’s view on love at this point, beyond his crush on the cute cashier at the circus-themed frozen yogurt shop. I’m tempted to have him be a stalker yandere like I talked about in an earlier theory about all the love interests being yandere, but also I’m tempted to go with the angle of him being a sex worker who just wants someone to love him for himself and not simply see him for what he does online.

I’ll probably get a better idea of which direction I want to go with Nick eventually. After all, the audio drama for him on patreon did influence some of my headcanons for him.

Maybe I’ll go with a combination of the two extremes. It would be hilarious that a yandere stalker dom finds himself tongue-tied in front of his crush despite working as an online influencer, rather than it just being a shy mask to get the object of his affection to lower their guard. Hmm…

Regardless of which direction I choose, Nick flirting with Alice at her job didn’t earn him any favors when it came to winning her heart. If anything it made her more on guard around him and lessened his chances of getting closer with her. It’s nothing personal against him, but being hit on while she’s at work makes her feel like she’s trapped, since she can’t leave, and she has no choice but to be polite to customers no matter what happens.

While I don’t have too many love-based headcanons really solidified in my head yet when it comes to Nick, I do see his primary love language as quality time. He’ll make time for those who he cares for, no matter how packed his schedule is, and he appreciates the same from them in return.

Since we’re shy on the romantic headcanons for Nick, let’s just go right to the spice. As we see in his profile, he’s an influencer by day and a dom by night. The audio drama shows him with a very dominating and flirty personality, at least when it comes to his audience. He runs an online streaming show where he talks sweet and dirty to his viewers live on camera. He also takes requests, which vary on the donation tiers. Those requests usually involve dirty talk, exposing himself, using toys on his body, and such. He has quite a lot of subscribers on lonelyfans, and most popular are his private one-on-one shows with a special lucky viewer on rare occasions.

Nick is big into exhibitionism. He shows off his body without shame and enjoys the attention he gets from his audience. He absolutely loves to talk dirty and see how it affects people. He’s good at painting a picture in his audience’s heads with a lewd description, and he gets off on the idea that he’s driving so many of his viewers crazy with lust.

While Nick does want someone to love him as a person, he also wants to be an object of desire for many people. He enjoys his job as a sex worker and the attention he gets online as a sexy dom with his lonelyfans account. Even if he was in a relationship, he would still do his lewd performances before the camera… and maybe he’ll have a special guest star or two on his show if he’s lucky. He would love to convince his romantic partner to join him on camera and dominate them before his large audience, maybe even take the viewers’ requests to decide what he’ll do to his partner next.

Although Nick is looking to join a relationship with just one person, he’s not against the idea of entering a poly relationship, or even participating in an orgy. After all, the more the merrier, right?

Just like on his live shows, Nick is a dominant in bed. He might be shy in casual settings, but he takes control of the scene when with a partner. He’s the one setting the pace, wanting to make his partner beg him and say what exactly they want. He experiments with the kinkier side of BDSM too, such as bondage, candles, and all sorts of toys that can leave a mark on skin and make his partner scream for him.

Nick is very experienced as a dom. He knows how to practice proper BDSM safety and take care of his partner(s) afterward. He can be soft during aftercare, and he knows the benefits of cuddle time. After all, he has a couple fur babies to take care of, and Pico and Cheese make excellent cuddle companions.

I think I’ll finish up Nick’s headcanons with this final spicy tidbit. As we’ve seen in teaser art, Nick has tongue and nipple piercings. I also headcanon that he has a jacob’s ladder piercing. I won’t describe what that is here, but if you know, you know.

I’ve heard that there are people who enjoy the feeling of piercings on sensitive areas, and Nick is one of them.

Conclusion

That’s about all that I can think of at the moment when it comes to my general love/sex headcanons for the main cast. I hope you all enjoyed my thoughts about what turn these five on and what they look for when it comes to relationships.

Though I suspect that when the full release of the game comes out, we’re going to discover that the male leads are probably going to be a lot kinkier than a vanilla aro/ace like me can headcanon up. Just a hunch. ;)

If you are hungry for more smut involving these characters, then you might be interested in checking out Sunshine in Hell or Sunshine in Another World. Those stories are rated as explicit for a reason, and there’s only going to have more scenes of smut to come. I’ve got plenty of rough drafts in the writing tag that I need to finish polishing and post on AO3 after all.

If you like my stories and ideas, please let me know what you think! I absolutely adore all kinds of feedback. It really helps fuel my creativity. Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoyed reading this huge collection of sugar and spice!

EDIT: Holy crap the timing. I finished this list at the same time as a new incredibly spicy audio drama for Jack dropped on patreon. Join the $5 tier if you want to give it a listen. It’s so, so good and well worth it.

It did disprove that Jack is incapable or cursing or that he would call his sunshine a slut unprompted... but I’m going to stick with that headcanon for the Sunshine in Hell telling of the story anyway. Though eventually he will be able to get pretty spicy with his language the more he loosens up.

The drama also reminded me of a couple things that I left out. I’ve added a few more headcanons to Jack and Alice’s entries since the initial post, and it’s possible I might go back and add even more if more ideas hit me, hahaha. Sorry for any inconvenience.

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Sauce-y Art

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funnylittlelad · 2 years

Text

Rules Made To Be Broken - Steve Harrington x gn!reader

Thank you for (over) 200 followers!!

Masterlist - AO3

Rule One >>

summary: As you and Steve grow closer, things seem to be going perfectly. That is until your police chief father steps in. The more you lie the deeper a hole you dig, but what else can you do? No matter what your dad says, you're not staying away from Steve Harrington.

wordcount: 12k

notes/tags: Hopper!reader, secret dating, sneaking around, fluff, friends to lovers, almost teenage car shenanigans, events of season three do not take place (canon divergent), Hopper is a bit of an overprotective helicopter parent, mentions of/talks about: abusive parents, tumultuous relationships, divorce, death, and family trauma., Steve's dad is his own warning, We Love Callahan In This House.

Prologue: Accidents Happen

It happens by accident. At least, that's what you tell yourself. You’d had the odd relationship here and there, but it’s never been serious. It's never been allowed to be serious. Your dad made sure of that. He scared anyone off before they got too comfortable. Usually, you're fine with that. It saves you a lot of trouble in the long run. You like that you don't have to commit. That's why Steve Harrington coming out of nowhere scares the living shit out of you.

Over the past year, you’d gotten closer to him. Not a lot, but enough for him to get a foothold. Then he started working at the ice cream shop next to your job at the mall arcade. You’d pop in every so often to say hi to Robin. She was one of the few friends your dad approved of. He never stopped you from being friends with people, but there would always be a telltale hmph. After a few weeks, you started visiting more, only it wasn't for Robin. It was for Steve Harrington and his little sailor shorts.

“You’re gonna get me fired with all these free samples,” Steve pretends to complain with crossed arms.

You finish polishing off the most recent little spoon with a smile.

“You’re the one that keeps giving them to me, Mr. One-Per-Customer,” you tease.

“Don't you have snot to clean off of some video game?” he jabs, leaning forward on the counter.

“I got off and you seemed like you needed company,” you shrug.

“Well, I get off in fifteen. What d’you say to keeping me company through a movie?” Steve asks in a rare show of bashfulness, picking at an invisible spot on the counter.

You grow a dazzling grin.

“I say that sounds fun.”

It was fun. Until Steve drove you home. Your driveway is lit only by the last reaches of sunlight, an orange fading to purple over the trees. On the front porch, leaning with his forearms against the railing, and a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth is your dad. He watches Steve’s car with narrowed eyes, taking a slow drag. The half-unbuttoned uniform tells you he just got off duty.

“Should I say hi?” Steve asks unsure.

“No,” you sigh, “We’re about to fight.”

Steve looks at you startled.

“What?”

“Jonathan isn't home, which means I was supposed to come back right after work to watch Will and El. Except Will and El don't need a babysitter, but I need a life. So, we’re about to fight,” you explain like it's a simple equation.

“Right, I forgot Hopper and Joyce shacked up,” Steve nods.

“Don't talk about my dad shacking up,” you scrunch your face in disgust.

“Sorry,” Steve laughs and stretches an arm over the back of your seat around the headrest, “When can I see you again?”

A spiced apple scent surrounds you, rolling off of him. A smell that's Steve’s and Steve’s alone.

“You see me almost every time you work,” you point out with a light blush.

“I know, but I mean like this,” he gestures between you with his free hand.

The smile that crawls onto your face is impossible to fight off. You glance back at your dad. He’s stamping out his cigarette in the ashtray on the railing. Then he pulls out the pack of Camels that's always in his breast pocket and takes out another. His eyes stay glued on Steve as he lights it, settling back into his position on the railing to make it clear he isn't going anywhere.

“I’m free tomorrow after four,” you look back at Steve who is still watching you.

Your heart races under his scrutiny.

“Pick you up at four-thirty?” He raises his eyebrows hopefully.

“See you then.”

You slip out of Steve’s beemer with one last smile. Your back stays to your father as you gently wave at Steve while he pulls out. Once he’s driving away you sigh. There’s no more putting this off. You turn around slowly to find your dad standing upright with his arms crossed. The newest cigarette hangs from the side of his mouth.

“You’re late,” he states.

“And the house is still standing,” you gesture behind him.

“Why was Harrington bringing you home?” he questions, jerking his chin toward the now-empty space in the driveway.

“Because we’re friends and we hung out after work,” you shrug.

“Friends, huh?”

“Yes, dad, friends. Y’know, those things I have every now and then until you scare them off,” you cross your own arms.

“That's all you are?” he checks suspiciously.

“Yes, that's all we are,” you confirm.

“Alright,” he nods in understanding, “You’re grounded.”

“What? You can't ground me! I’m nineteen years old!” You argue.

“My roof,” he shoots back.

“This is bullshit,” you scoff.

Your dad’s eyebrows shoot up and he looks around like there are people around to witness your audacity.

“You were supposed to come home after work. What if something happened?” He reminds you sternly.

Your arms flail angrily in the air toward the house.

“Nothing happened! Will and El are fourteen; they don't need me to watch them!”

“You’re grounded for a week,” he deadpans.

You let out a humorless laugh. Frustration bubbles in your chest until you can feel it pressing against your eyes. You hold the tears in. They’ll do you no good here.

“Dad, you have to accept that I’m not a child at some point,” you snap.

“Good to know,” he drawls, “Check back at the end of the week and see where I’m at.”

“You're ridiculous,” you grumble as you storm past him, slamming the front door behind you.

Will and El sit wide-eyed on the couch totally not listening. You ignore them as you storm down the hall to the room you share with Jonathan, slamming that door too. With a groan, you flop face-first on your bed and let out a half scream into your pillow. There’s a soft knock on the door.

“What,” you call out, face still in the pillow so your voice is muffled.

The door creaks, just like all the doors in this house.

“Are you okay?” El’s voice asks from the doorway.

You sigh and turn your head to look at her. The grown-out hair looks good on her. The confidence it brings her looks even better. El has been your sister since the moment you met her, no question about it. Even if it hurts like hell to look at her sometimes.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sorry I wasn't home,” you answer softly.

“It is okay. Will has been helping me get ready for school,” she says.

You smile and prop yourself up on your elbows.

“You excited to start?”

She shrugs with a small smile.

“Nervous,” she decides.

You nod.

“That's normal. Don’t worry. You’ll have Will with you and I’ll be here when you get home,” you promise.

She nods, shoulders relaxing.

“Is dad upset?”

“Yeah, he is,” you sigh.

“Joyce will fix it,” she assures you.

“You’re probably right,” you agree.

Joyce likely will fix it. She seems to be the only person who can really get through to your dad. It's something you're endlessly grateful for. You love your new family members. You really do. You just wish there was more room. You wish you had your own space. You wish there wasn't a battle every day for the shower before all the hot water is gone. You wish the food containers were always full and never put back empty, always causing a fight.

“I miss the cabin too,” El admits quietly as if she read your mind.

A small, sad smile crawls onto your lips.

“Dad and Joyce have been trying to find somewhere bigger. We won't be so cramped soon,” you tell her, mostly trying to convince yourself.

“Good,” she nods.

Later that night Joyce does indeed fix everything. At the very least, she got you ungrounded. She manages to make your dad realize that grounding you is not only a little extreme but a bit childish. He even begrudgingly agrees to Will and El being home without supervision more. Not a lot more, but more nonetheless.

The next day Steve picks you up at four-thirty sharp. Your skin buzzes as you slide into his car. He’s smiling before you even get in. It's lovely, like a sunset over a meadow. Soft, light, and calming. You end up getting milkshakes and sitting on the hood of his car in the back parking lot of the diner. It's a nice evening, warm and breezy. Golden hour transforms Steve into something otherworldly. Every blond highlight becomes so much more, his skin looks like it's glowing, and his eyes are sweet glimmering butterscotch candies on you.

“I hope I didn't get you in too much trouble last night,” he says with a smirk.

“You didn't. I'm pretty sure he likes you anyways. Y’know, after you helped save the world and his kid. He was mad at me, but I think he’s over it,” you answer.

“It must’ve been hard having the police chief as your dad growing up,” Steve comments thoughtfully.

“It was,” you smile wryly, “It didn't get me invited to any parties, that's for sure.”

Steve cringes as red blooms across his cheeks. He sips on his milkshake, avoiding your amused eyes. The two of you weren't friends in school by a long shot. When he finds them again, his own are far more apologetic than they need to be.

“I’m sorry if I was a jerk to you at all.”

Your wry smile turns soft and genuine.

“You weren't, but you're right. My dad’s job definitely didn't make me popular. Everyone assumed I was a narc. Even the people on the track team with me.”

“Yeah,” Steve chuckles, “I remember that being said.”

“Can I ask you a dumb question without you laughing at how dumb it is?” You nudge his sneaker with your own.

He puts on a serious face and gives you a dutiful nod.

“Ask away.”

“Is this a date?”

Steve immediately starts to laugh. You hit him in the chest.

“You said you wouldn't laugh,” you whine.

“I said I wouldn't laugh at how dumb it is. I’m laughing at how cute it is,” he informs you with a smile.

You can feel the flames lick across your skin as his words heat you up. You take a sip of your own chocolate milkshake to cool down.

“So, what’s the verdict, Harrington?” You cut right to the chase.

Steve chuckles some more.

“I’m really seeing the Hopper genes,” he teases.

“Shut up.”

“No, no, really, I do. I can see them riiight,” Steve reaches across and brushes his cold thumb over your lips, “here.”

His hand cradles your jaw as his thumb continues brushing the cool soft skin of your lips. His fingers are so icy from holding his milkshake that you shiver.

“You stare at my dad’s mouth a lot?” You breathe teasingly.

Both of you regard each other with hooded eyelids.

“He smokes a lot of cigarettes,” Steve shrugs, “It draws the eye.”

You’re in the middle of laughing when his lips capture yours. The kiss is sweet, tender, and chaste. Steve’s hand slides to tangle his thick fingers in your hair. He puts his milkshake down next to him to free his other hand. His newly liberated hand cups your jaw as he deepens the kiss. Your heart races in your stomach as you get a taste of Steve Harrington on the hood of his beemer. When you pull back you're both breathing heavier than before. Wide smiles spread across both of your flushed faces.

“So, is it a date or not?” You jokingly ask with furrowed brows.

Steve laughs and you can't help but laugh along. It feels good to laugh with Steve. It feels right. Your laughs mingle like they were always meant to be heard together. When you finish your milkshakes Steve brings you home. Once again, your dad is on the porch smoking. No doubt he’s waiting to see if you abide by your promise to be home before dinner.

“Is it just me or is he trying to melt me with his eyes?” Steve smiles and waves at your dad through the windshield as he asks.

Your dad gives him a nod of acknowledgment. You roll your eyes at your dad’s standoffishness.

“Don't take it personally, he does it to everyone.”

“Noted.”

“I had a lot of fun with you today,” you smile.

Steve grins at you, so tempted to kiss you but conscious of your father’s eyes on him.

“Me too. Y’know- uh- Robin and I do these movie nights every week. Would you maybe wanna crash the next one? I know she wouldn't mind and I wouldn't mind spending more time with you,” Steve’s hand subtly moves to brush your thigh under the cover of the dashboard.

“You’re positive Robin won't mind me being there?”

“Absolutely.”

You find yourself smiling and nodding before putting much more thought into it. All your little pleasure-seeking rat brain heard was more time with Steve.

“Then I’d love to.”

“Great, I’ll give you a call tomorrow with the details.”

“Lookin’ forward to it,” You say, wishing you could kiss him.

Then you slide out of the car. Steve doesn't pull out until you hit the two porch stairs. Your dad watches him leave before turning to you.

“You and Harrington normally hang out alone?” He asks.

“What's the big deal?”

“Just didn't realize you two were that close.”

“Yeah, well, fighting otherworldly creatures of the night with someone tends to strengthen a friendship,” you drawl sarcastically.

“Isn't he friends with your friend with the tuba?”

“I know you know who Robin is and what instrument she plays,” you roll your eyes playfully, “and yes he is.”

“What about them, there something going on there?”

“No,” you snort, “definitely not. Why are you so interested in Steve’s dating life?”

“I’m your father. I’m just looking out for you. I've caught Harrington in the back of that beemer enough times to know what his dating life is like,” he explains gruffly and takes a drag of his cigarette.

The thought of your dad tapping on the steamed-up window of Steve’s car with the butt of his flashlight puts a bad taste in your mouth. It makes you miss the sweet taste of Steve.

“You don't think it's possible for people to change?” you question, trying not to sound too defensive.

Your dad huffs a laugh and puts out his cigarette.

“Guys like him don't change, trust me,” he tells you.

Anger starts to prick at your skin. You can't fight him, though. It wouldn't change his mind anyways.

“Well, I’m going to his house for a movie night with Robin this week,” you inform him.

He seems to physically relax when he hears Robin will be with you. It fills you with a strange sense of dread. You thought your dad liked Steve. You didn't think he’d have an issue with Steve or his dating life. Anxiety starts to creep in. What if your dad chases Steve away? For once, you care if the person you're seeing is scared off.

“Look,” your dad rubs his jaw as he collects his thoughts, “Steve is a decent guy. I know he’s good looking and I’m sure there are rumors about- about- his virility-”

“Okay, that’s enough,” you cut him off sharply, “What’s the point you're even trying to make?”

“Just stay away from him like that. It's fine you're friends, but keep it there. You’ll only end up hurt,” he tells you.

Well, that certainly isn't what you expected. A dense ball of anger, sadness, hurt, and defensiveness sits in your gut. If you don't get away soon you’re sure you’ll blow one way or another.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll stay away from Steve,” you lie.

There's no chance in Hell.

Robin’s eyes are wide as saucers as you tell her about your dad’s Anti-Steve sentiments. You lay across her bed as she sways herself to and fro on her desk chair. Her room is as scattered and cluttered as her mind is, but that’s what you love about it. It’s like living in one of Robin’s thoughts. “He seriously told you to stay away from him?” She questions incredulously.

“Sure did. God, he’s so dramatic. I don't get why he's so against it. I mean, sure Steve has been known to… get around, but that was high school. He hasn't even been able to score a date in like a year,” you vent.

“What are you going to do?” Robin's eyebrows knit.

She was admittedly ecstatic when Steve told her he wanted to ask you out. She was even more ecstatic when you told her you may have a tiny crush on Steve. You swore up and down it was the sailor shorts that did it, but you both know better. It's clear when you and Steve are around each other. You gravitate toward one another without thought, slowly growing closer and talking more until it's like you're the only two in existence.

“I’m not going to stop seeing Steve,” you shake your head, “I mean we've only been on one date and he hasn't even asked me on a second one yet-”

“Nope, don't even go there,” Robin cuts you off.

“What? I’m just saying-”

“You’re about to convince yourself that Steve doesn't really like you. I’m not letting it happen.”

You pout dramatically at her. There's no time to try to argue or push back playfully. Steve honks from the driveway three times to signal his arrival. A grin spreads across your face as you shoot up and start heading down. Robin shakes her head as she breathes a laugh.

Steve is standing with his arm propped on the top of the open driver-side door. He smiles wide at you as you emerge from the house. You stroll right up to him allowing the door to act as a physical barrier. Before you can say anything, Steve ducks down and plants a quick kiss on your lips. You’re suddenly boiling. He smiles sweetly when he pulls away.

“Hey, there,” he murmurs.

“Hey,” you murmur back.

“Okay, if this is how it's going to be all night, I change my mind,” Robin complains from behind you.

You poke your tongue out at her teasingly causing her to chuckle. Instinctively, you start going for the backseat because Robin is here. The moment you start in that direction you’re stopped.

“Ah-Ah-Ah- Since you and Steve are officially sucking face now it only seems right you take shotgun,” Robin puts her hands up to insist.

The smile that starts to spread on your face dies.

“Thanks, Rob, but I probably shouldn't. My dad is on duty today and if he sees that I’m suddenly the one sitting in the front…,” you trail off with a sigh.

“What's the big deal if he sees you sitting in the front?” Steve asks with furrowed brows.

You glance at Steve anxiously and then at Robin. Both of you look back at Steve.

“My dad may be against the idea of us dating and he might have told me to stay away from you in any romantic sense,” you tell him.

Steve frowns with searching eyes. He reminds you of a cartoon puppy.

“I thought he liked me,” he says.

“He does! He just…,” you start, but struggle.

“He thinks you're a whore,” Robin chimes in.

“Robin,” you hiss and shoot her a glare.

She mouths a sheepish sorry. You sigh and look at Steve’s hurt expression once more.

“He just doesn't want me to get hurt. It doesn't change anything. All this means is we have to keep it down low until we can change his mind,” you assure him.

He nods but doesn't look convinced.

“Guess that means a sleepover tonight is off the table?” he checks half hopeful.

“My curfew is graciously at eleven,” you smile sadly.

“Curfew? You’re an adult,” Robin scoffs.

“An adult who doesn't have a key for the new house yet. My dad said if I’m not home by then the door will be locked.”

“What's the big deal if the door is locked if you have somewhere to stay?” Robin pushes.

“Look- I don't have an explanation for everything, okay? I know my dad is really strict and it’s kind of pathetic because I’m too old for it. It’s more complicated than it looks. If that's something you don't want to deal with o-or-” you start a slightly panicked ramble.

“Whoa- no one is saying that,” Steve reaches out and places warm hands on your upper arms.

The contact grounds you. You nod, taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry I upset you. My mouth gets ahead of my brain sometimes and I-” Robin starts an anxious apology.

“It’s okay, Rob. I know,” you offer a small smile.

You all clamber into Steve’s car after that. You place yourself in the middle of the backseat. Steve’s eyes meet yours in the rearview mirror every few minutes. Each time you felt the corners of your lips twitch and your cheeks warm. Something about Steve makes you feel like you're in middle school again trying to figure out how to act around the person you like-like.

In the end, you're glad you chose the back. Around half way to Steve’s house, you see the truck. Your dad is camped out on a pull-off, normal for a cop scouting for speeding tickets. Not normal for the Hawkins Police Chief, though. You groan when you realize he planted himself where he knew Steve would likely drive by. His eyes scan the car as Steve drives by. Steve very pointedly drives the speed limit. You avoid his eyes entirely.

“You said your curfew is at eleven?” Steve double-checks, meeting your eyes once more in the mirror.

“Yeah,” you confirm with a nod.

“Got it,” he nods resolutely.

It's safe to say he’s determined to get you home on time after the look Hopper just gave him. Steve kind of wishes he didn't look over in the first place. The moment he noticed the chief’s truck he should have kept his eyes forward like he didn't see a thing. Likely the worst part about the whole thing is how blatant it was. Hopper wanted Steve to know that he was watching, to be careful, and tread lightly. It’s a message he heard loud and clear. Steve won’t give Hopper any more reasons not to like him.

They make it to Steve’s without incident. Hopper thankfully doesn't follow them, but Steve makes sure to abide by every traffic law anyways. He wouldn't doubt Hopper has eyes everywhere. Plus, he’s seen the man in action and he'd like to not be on the other end of that.

“Steve,” Robin groans when she sees the VHS on his coffee table, “Why did you have to pick that one?”

“What? I like that movie,” he defends, face beginning to glow.

Your own face catches fire when you read the cover. A couple of months ago you and Steve had a break at the same time. You spent the entire thirty minutes at a food court table talking about movies. At some point you let it slip that your favorite has recently become The NeverEnding Story. The very film that sits on the coffee table now. You send Steve a shy smile that he catches.

“Fine, it’s your week to pick,” Robin sighs with a dramatic eye roll.

It doesn't surprise anyone but you when Steve takes your hand to lead you to the end of his plush couch. He sits and pulls you down with him so his arm is automatically over your shoulder. Robin shakes her head playfully with a smirk. She sits on the other end of the couch so she can stretch out like a cat. Her feet and yours barely miss each other as you curl into Steve.

A quarter of the way through Robin is knocked out cold. The way her arms flop over her face makes you chuckle. Steve breathes a laugh and shakes his head at her.

“She's unbelievable. She does this every week,” he tries to sound exasperated but fails.

“Sounds pretty believable if it happens every week,” you say.

“At least now that you’re going to be here I won't be left to finish the movies alone,” he comments somewhat absentmindedly.

Your eyes widen.

“Now that I’m going to be here?” You echo.

Steve’s bright brown eyes quickly move away. His tongue darts out to wet his lips.

“Yeah,” he shrugs nonchalantly, “Y’know, if- if you'd want to. We could make this a regular thing.”

Your face breaks into a large toothy grin. Steve’s face starts to mirror yours as he registers your reaction.

“That sounds like fun. As long as you’re sure my dad hasn't spooked you,” you joke half-heartedly.

“You kidding? After I took a bat to a Demogorgon right in front of you, you don't think I can handle your dad being a little protective?” Steve scoffs playfully.

“A little?” You question with a smirk.

“Okay, a lot protective,” He concedes with a dramatic little shake of his head.

You watch the front of his soft-looking hair bounce with the movement. It strikes you how pretty he is in the dull glow of the television. You find it a little unfair how pretty he is in every setting. As nerves settle in you look back to the television.

“Are you sure you don't mind?” You ask more seriously, “I know it’s a lot to deal with. I get it if you'd rather just stay friends.”

Steve brings his hand up. His finger crooks and finds the underneath of your chin. He uses it to guide your face to look at him. When your wide eyes meet his intense ones he doesn't stop guiding you. He meets you halfway, stealing a sweet gentle kiss. Butterflies flutter around your gut as his tender lips move against yours. It’s over far too soon, but he keeps his forehead on yours.

“I like you too much to just stay friends. I’m okay doing whatever it takes to be with you,” he states firmly like it's a fact.

Another smile crawls onto your face.

“I’m really glad you said that because I like you too much to just stay friends too,” you tell him softly.

He grins as his hooded eyes look into yours. This close in the dark they look so deep, his pupil and irises still fully distinguishable but the color is clearly rich. Rich in a way that gets lost in the low lighting.

“When can I take you out again?” he asks quietly.

“We probably can't do anything romantic too publicly, but it wouldn't be too hard for me to sneak out at night,” you say innocently.

“Won't your dad kill you if he finds out?” Steve’s eyebrows furrow.

From this close, you only know that because you can feel him do it.

“Well- yeah, but I have the benefit of something you, unfortunately, don't, my dear Steve,” you tease.

“And what’s that?”

“Siblings.”

“How does that help?”

You chuckle.

“They’ll cover for me if I need it in a pinch,” you explain.

Steve’s smile returns.

“Is tomorrow too soon?” he asks, trying to make it sound enough like a joke to pass it off as one if need be.

He’s terrified of coming on too strong. It’s just that when Steve likes someone he does it with his whole chest. He loves emphatically and that's not for everyone. Although, no one is talking about love right now. Definitely not, that would be far too soon. Steve fancies himself a pretty intuitive guy, though. He can feel the potential there. A seed in need of watering and tending until it blooms into something beautiful.

“Tomorrow’s not soon enough,” you answer, “but it’ll have to do.”

You wake Robin up when the credits roll on the screen. She’s a little moody about it but gets over it quickly. It’s half past ten so Steve brings Robin home first. With her out of the car you move to the front. The entire way back to your house Steve’s hand rests on your thigh, heavy and warm. When the house comes into view it slinks away leaving your skin to miss it.

It doesn't surprise you in the slightest to see your dad on the porch smoking. You roll your eyes at the sight, not caring if he can see. The clock in Steve's car reads a quarter to eleven. Steve got you home with fifteen minutes to spare.

“Is ten too late for tomorrow?” You ask, suddenly feeling shy.

What if he wasn't being serious about tomorrow? The insecurity gets you talking again.

“My dad has night duty, but he’ll think I’m in bed so there's no reason for him to leave the station,” you explain quickly.

Steve is nodding before you finish.

“Ten sounds perfect. Should I park down the street?”

“Yeah, near the end by the sign,” you confirm.

“It’s a date,” he grins.

Your face catches fire for the millionth time tonight. You're grateful it's too dark for your dad to tell from the porch.

“Have a good night,” you tell him softly.

You resist the urge to kiss him. You resist the urge to even just hug him knowing you have an audience.

“Have a good night.”

When you slip from the beemer a sigh escapes your lips. You wish your dad wasn't so… Well, your dad. The thing is, you also know him. It’s hard and takes time, but you can change his mind. Maybe you can even recruit Joyce in the effort, speed up the process. You'll have to ask Jonathan and Will if they think she’d help or just tell your dad about you and Steve.

“You have a good night?” Your dad asks as he puts out his cigarette.

“Yeah, it was fun. Actually, they invited me to do it every week,” you answer happily.

He nods as you two head inside.

“And Harrington will be driving you every week?” He asks.

“Yes, unless you’re going to magically pull a car from somewhere,” you answer.

He shoots you a deadpan look.

“Alright. Don't forget, I have night duty tomorrow,” he reminds you.

“I know, dad. Don't worry, I plan on coming home right after work anyways. I don't have anything to do tomorrow,” you tell him.

You ignore the tiny seed of guilt that drops in your stomach. You don't like lying to your dad, but he doesn't leave you much choice. A sturdy hand finds the back of your head. He pulls your head forward and plants a slightly too-rough kiss on your forehead. It's gruff, prickly, and warm just like him. For a second you feel like a kid again, before everything went to shit.

“Sleep tight,” he tells you.

“Sleep tight,” you smile tightly.

Jonathan is awake reading and listening to music on his walkman. The movement of you coming in draws his attention. He pulls down his headphones until they rest around his neck. Slow rock leaks from the speakers.

“Hey,” he greets.

“Hey, I’m glad you're up. I actually have a pretty big favor to ask,” you say.

He regards you suspiciously. The two of you aren't close by any means. It took weeks to have a civil conversation when you're in the bedroom together. There was a territorial showdown that nearly tore the house apart.

“What is it?” He questions slowly.

“I’m going to sneak out tomorrow night after my dad goes to work. I just need you to leave the window cracked so I can get back in and to make sure no one knows I’m gone,” you say.

“Oh, is that all?” He scoffs, “No way. I’m not getting murdered when your dad finds out you snuck out.”

“He won't find out. Please, Jonathan, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't really important to me,” you all but beg.

His eyes narrow on you as you sit on your bed.

“What are you sneaking out for?”

“I’m seeing Steve.”

He snorts humorlessly.

“So, you want to die,” he says mostly to himself.

Realizing this isn't going your way, you set your jaw and straighten out your shoulders. You sigh and click your tongue.

“Y’know, it's a shame…,” you begin absently.

“What is?” He takes the bait.

“How long you're going to be grounded when I tell my dad and Joyce about the stash under your bed,” you shrug.

If looks could kill, you’d most definitely be dead.

“How do you-”

“You’re really not as subtle as you think,” you laugh.

He exhaled sharply through his nose.

“Fine,” he snaps.

The headphones are back over his ears in a second.

“Thank you,” you sing.

That night you curl into bed buzzing with anticipation. Steve doesn't care if it's a little hard to be with you. He doesn't care if your dad is difficult and overprotective. He likes you enough to try anyway. You only hope you can change your dad’s mind about him before his patience runs out.

Jonathan is bitter about you sneaking out, but you don't care. Everyone is home for dinner, making it a raucous affair of arms reaching over the table to fight for food even though there's more than enough to go around. You swear Jonathan starts fighting with you over the last drumstick just to get back at you for your blackmail.

“You’ve already had three,” he protests.

“So have you!” you shout back incredulously, gesturing wildly.

“Yeah, but I eat more.”

“Really? Why is that?” You challenge him cruelly.

He glares at you, seething from across the table.

“You’re such a-” he starts.

“Alright,” your dad loudly interrupts and snatches the drumstick off the plate, “Now it’s mine. Problem solved.”

Both of you grumble and sink back into your seats like a couple of children. Will and El, the actual children at the table, exchange amused looks as they fight off laughter.

“How has work been?” Joyce asks you pleasantly.

She’s completely unphased by your dad’s tantrum in response to your own. You suppose she's probably used to the Hopper family antics at this point.

“It’s been fine,” you shrug, “there's a supervisor position opening up. I was thinking of going for it.”

“That’s great!” Joyce beams.

It makes you feel warm in your chest.

“Supervisor? Won't that put you full-time? What about college? I thought you were starting next semester,” your dad grills.

It’s a struggle not to roll your eyes, but you succeed.

“Yeah, I’m thinking of extending my gap year,” you shrug like it isn't a big deal.

Joyce cringes a little but attempts to maintain her smile. Jonathan, Will, and El all look between you and your dad.

“Really? When did you decide that?” Your dad questions.

“Does it really matter? It’s what I want to do,” you defend.

“Is this because Steve isn't going to college?” He’s outright interrogating you at the dinner table now.

“Jim,” Joyce warns softly.

He looks at her with an incredulous smile.

“What?”

She tucks her chin in a tad and gives him a look.

“For your information, no it's not because of Steve,” you snap, “I don't even know his plans for the fall. What’s your issue with him?”

“Nothing!”

“No, clearly there's something! You have such a weird thing about me and Steve. Why are you so afraid of me being friends or getting into a relationship with him?” You demand.

“Because I've seen what it looks like when a Harrington loves someone,” he shouts, “It’s usually black and blue!”

Anger rises hot and red to your cheeks. Your heart pounds in your chest. The air around the table is so tense it's hard to move.

“You’re unbelievable,” you shout back and shove away from the table.

“Where are you going?” he calls after you.

“To bed. Have a good night at work,” you slam your bedroom door shut behind you.

“Jim,” Joyce sighs.

“What?” He asks defensively.

“Steve really isn't that bad,” Will comments gently, “He’s friends with Dustin.”

“I think Steve is a fine guy,” Hopper states, “But I've seen the kind of relationships he grew up around.”

“That doesn't mean Steve is anything like John,” Joyce reasons.

Hopper’s jaw flexes as he clenches.

“Yeah, well, I’m not willing to take the chance,” he answers gruffly.

Jonathan is the one that gets the conversation moving forward. They try to enjoy the rest of their dinner while Hopper seeths and you blast music from your bedroom. Thirty minutes later Jonathan comes in and shuts off your stereo.

“Hopper and mom went to work,” he informs you.

“Thanks,” you sigh.

You can feel Jonathan’s eyes on you as you collect your things.

“What?” you ask shortly, not stopping.

“Nothing,” he quickly snaps before relaxing a little, “Mom tried talking to him after.”

“Yeah?” You snort humorlessly, “What’d she say?”

“She was on your side. Told him you don't have to go to college if you don't want to.”

You reply with a simple hm.

“When will you be back?” he sighs.

“Around midnight.”

“Okay- just… be safe.”

You turn with everything you need in your pockets. Your eyebrows are nearly in your hairline as you take in Jonathan. He sits on his bed, hands in his lap. His hair has gotten long and shaggy in a way that makes you want to cut it.

“Careful, I might think you care about me,” you tease.

He rolls his eyes.

“You might be annoying, but you’re family,” he says.

A small smile creeps onto your lips. You give him a playful punch in the upper arm. He rubs it and makes a disgruntled face at you.

“Love you too, bro.”

You nearly eat dirt on your way out of the window, but you make it unscathed. With a wide smile, you trot down the street where you see Steve’s beemer waiting beneath a streetlamp. The door is unlocked when you get there allowing you to slip in easily. Steve’s lips are on yours before you can say hi. His hand cups your face as he presses his lips urgently to yours.

You’re downright giggling when he pulls away. It's embarrassing.

“Hello to you too,” you murmur.

“Hello,” he murmurs back with a sweet smile.

Steve takes off after that. His hand is on your thigh again. This time you find the courage to intertwine your hand with his. He flashes a smile at you when you do so. Hawkins has never felt so perfect. It's like a scene from a movie as you steal glances at Steve as often as you can.

“Where are you taking me, Harrington?” You ask with teasing suspicion.

“I know this spot by Lovers Lake. Figured we could just hang out,” he shrugs, attempting to hide his insecurity.

“Not enough room for the two of us in that big house of yours?” you chuckle.

His eyes shift uncomfortably.

“My parents are home right now. I’m sorry if you thought-”

“No, no, Steve, it's fine. I was just teasing. As long as we get to spend time together, I don't care where we end up,” you promise.

His soft eyes fall on you as he stops at a sign. Before he could allow himself to fall in too deep too fast, he clears his throat.

“Speaking of parents,” he says and starts driving again, “How’d it go with yours?”

You groan and roll your eyes dramatically.

“I told him I don't plan on going to college. You can imagine how that went,” you tell him.

Steve grimaces as he pulls off onto a dirt road. It’s bumpy, but Steve isn't driving for long. You end up parked on a little overlook of the lake. Moonlight ripples across the surface giving the water the appearance of a night sky below you. Steve’s seat belt is off so he can angle himself to look at you fully. You mirror him. Gentle music trickles from the radio too low for you to really make out what it is.

“I take it he wasn’t too happy with that then?” Steve raises his eyebrows in sympathetic curiosity.

“He doesn’t seem too happy with me in general lately,” you sigh and begin picking at your fingers in your lap.

His hand takes yours to stop the anxious movement. The action draws your gaze. Steve is half frowning, thumb rubbing circles into the skin of your hand.

“He’s just worried. I kinda get it, y’know? You’re his kid and he isn’t ready for you to grow up,” he reasons.

“It doesn’t matter if he’s ready,” you frown, “He was so annoying tonight. I actually left dinner and locked myself in my room.”

Steve leans over and gives your temple a quick comforting kiss.

“My mom asked me how school was today,” Steve huffs a laugh.

You wrinkle your nose.

“How old does she think you are?” You ask.

“Seventeen apparently.”

“Is she always so detached?”

There’s something sad in his puppy dog eyes when they find you. The corners of his lips twitch in a sardonic little gesture.

“Yeah, she’s pretty spaced most of the time,” he answers quietly.

“And here I am complaining that my dad pays too much attention,” you joke.

It earns you a soft chuckle from him.

“At least my mom doesn’t stake out side roads she knows I’ll be driving on,” he teases back.

You throw your head back as you laugh. Steve grins as he watches, drinking in every last detail. His eyes drag over the silhouette of your nose and jawline in the moonlight. You’re so soft, yet there’s a bite about you. It draws him in and leaves him always wanting more, more, more. It leaves him reaching out to brush the hair from your face. Then the hair is tucked away, but he continues to skirt the backs of his fingers over your cheek. He can feel the warmth rise to them. Your face moves into his touch as you turn to look at him.

“Steve?” You probe so quietly that you aren’t sure he hears you.

“Yeah?”

“My dad said something tonight and… I think it might take more than we thought to win him over,” you admit.

Steve’s brows furrow as his eyes searches yours.

“What did he say?”

You take an even breath.

“He’s afraid, because of y-your dad, that you’ll-”

“Stop,” Steve closes his eyes and shakes his head, “Don’t say it.”

You don’t. Instead, you lean over the center console and throw your arms around his shoulders. Steve immediately melts into your embrace, circling his own arms around you and burying his face in your neck.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

He shakes his head the best he can in his current position. Then he’s pulling back, hands holding either side of your head. His eyes bore into you.

“I’m not like my dad. I wouldn't ever do what he does,” he promises.

There's no need to ask what it is Steve’s dad does. You've gathered enough context clues tonight to piece it together. Your hands come up to cover Steve’s.

“I know,” you tell him, “I trust you. You’re a good person, Steve Harrington.”

Steve can feel how lovesick his smile is. Your voice and words are a salve on wounds rubbed raw. You worry your lip between your teeth for a moment before continuing to speak.

“Does your dad ever do that to you?” You inquire softly.

“Not since I started fighting back,” he answers with a sad smile.

“I’m so sorry,” you say because you don't know what else there is to say.

You hate that Steve has had to go through so much and always has it overlooked. You hate that your dad thinks Steve could be anything like this father. All he’s ever been is kind and gentle with you.

“Let’s just forget about everything else tonight,” he suggests with a voice like silk, “There’s just us.”

It's a request you're more than willing to oblige. Especially when Steve’s lips find yours in a fury. It's more heated than anything the two of you have done until now, but it feels so fucking good. Steve’s hands are wide and thick as they tangle in your hair and hold the base of your neck. Your own hands explore Steve’s firm chest and shoulders over his shirt. The two of you together are the flame of a candle, flickering hot and quick.

Steve moans when you nip at his lip, allowing you to become acquainted with his tongue. It’s all so much and not enough. Everything around you is all Steve. There's nothing but Steve. He leans over the console more, hands moving to find your sides and running down them until they meet the hem of your shirt. His hands skirt around the thin layer of skin exposed by your shirt riding up. A shiver of want runs through you. You nod as his mouth continues to devour yours. Steve’s hands leave trails of heat licking up your skin as they commit every inch to memory.

You’re ready to take it further. You want Steve in every way. You want him until he’s all there is. It doesn't matter if you’re in his car out by the lake. All that matters is it's you and Steve and Steve seems to want you just as much. You muster up the courage and start to palm where his pants have grown noticeably tighter.

Just as Steve is moaning into your mouth there’s a clink clink clink on the driver's side window. The two of you fly apart, snapping to see the source of the noise, and then looking back at each other completely panicked.

“C’mon, Steve, the windows aren't that steamed up. I know it's you,” a familiar voice drones.

You groan and drop your face in your hands. The voice itself brings relief, but not a lot. Steve rolls down the window and a flashlight clicks on, blinding both of you.

“Christ- Uncle Phil, can you quit it with that?” Steve complains and shoves the flashlight away.

The light clicks off revealing a curly head of brown hair and a pair of glasses you know all too well.

“Hey, Callahan,” you greet meekly with a small wave.

“No- no,” he groans, briefly throwing his head back with his hands covering his face, “Not Little Hopper! Steve, do you have a death wish?”

“Please, don't tell my dad,” you beg quickly.

Callahan’s eyes slide between the two of you. His tongue is firmly in his cheek as he takes in the sight of his nephew moments away from having sex with his boss’s kid.

“You two are putting me in a real tough position here,” he sighs, shaking his head.

“We know. That’s why we would be super grateful if you didn’t tell Hopper anything,” Steve says.

Callahan levels Steve with a stare for a moment before his eyes move to you. Your heart is thumping at the speed of sound in your chest. It wouldn't be surprising if you dropped dead of a heart attack right now. This man who you’ve known for years, who has watched you at the station and played Uno with you, who has been like family in a lot of ways has your life in his hands. It’s unfair for everyone involved.

“I’ve been fearing the day I find you in someone’s car like this,” he tells you with a wry smile, “If it had to happen, I’m happy it's with Steve. At least I know you’re safe.”

A timid smile tugs at your lips.

“Does that mean you won't tell?” You ask quietly.

He lets out a deep heavy breath and shakes his head.

“I won't say anything,” he points sternly at you, “but it better not get back to your dad that I knew about this.”

You and Steve nod. Steve even gives his uncle a salute.

“So, are you gonna…,” Steve trails off, gesturing with his eyes for his uncle to leave.

“Yeah, right,” Callahan snorts, “You two are going home and brainstorming ways to be more discreet. Separately, no sneaking each other into anyone’s houses.”

Steve rolls his eyes but agrees. He’s in no position to argue with his uncle right now. Callahan pulls out enough for Steve to get you guys out of there. He flashes his lights once as a goodbye. The silence of the car threatens to suffocate you. Steve stops the car the turn before your street. You can feel his eyes on you as you squeeze your hands together in your lap.

“You okay?” He asks softly.

“I’m okay. Are we?” You risk a glance.

The knit of his brow tells you he’s confused, maybe even a little worried.

“Of course we are. Why wouldn't we be?”

“I guess I was afraid that might have spooked you,” you shrug sheepishly.

“It’ll take more than my Uncle Phil to spook me,” he smirks.

You chuckle and lean in to steal a quick kiss. He does it back like it's a competition he’s determined to win. You scrunch your nose and stick your tongue out at him. He returns the favor. The two of you break into giggles. Thoughts that bubbled to the surface this morning, and kept bubbling up every hour after that, make their grand reappearance. Does Steve want to take this to a more serious level like you do? Has he already decided to stop seeing other people like you have?

“I like you, like a lot,” you tell him with all the eloquence of a rock.

“I like you, like a lot, too,” he smiles.

“I have a crazy question that I just thought of right this moment,” you segue with an innocent smile.

“Oh, is that right? What's this totally not premeditated question?” He teases.

“What are we doing here exactly?” It comes out far timider than you’d like.

“What do you want to be doing here exactly?” he smirks knowing you're melting inside as he dances around an answer.

You give him an unimpressed frown that's fighting to be a smile.

“Personally, I think I'd like to call you my boyfriend,” you go for it and try not to hold your breath too much.

Steve’s smile becomes something dazzling. Mischief appears in the background of it, though.

“You think, huh? I dunno,” he sighs dramatically, “I only date people who are enthusiastic about dating me.”

You roll your eyes as the smile wins.

“Oh, is that why you kept striking out at Scoops?” you tease.

He throws a pout your way.

“Maybe.”

“Well, Steve Harrington, I would be pretty enthused to call you my boyfriend,” you tell him with a sweet smile and even sweeter eyes.

“I’d be pretty enthused too,” he grins as he leans toward you.

He kisses you with almost as much passion as before. Pre-Callahan rudely interrupting. The two of you giggle into the kiss, causing you to pull apart but stay close.

“When will I see you again, boyfriend?” you hum.

“I have family stuff tomorrow after work, but my parents will be gone again Thursday. We could hang out at my place. Then movie night is Friday. It’s Rob’s turn to pick,” he answers.

“Five dollars says she picks Fast Times,” you smirk.

“Are you kidding?” he snorts, “I’m not taking a bet I know I’ll lose.”

You laugh, resting your forehead on his shoulder. When the giggles subside you bring your head up once more and find Steve’s impossibly warm gaze. He looks at you like you just invented laughter before his very eyes. It’s almost too much for you to handle. It makes you more afraid of losing this, of losing him, to your dad’s strictness.

“My dad will be home Thursday, but I don’t think Robin would mind covering for me for a few hours,” you say.

“Should I get you from Rob’s?”

“That’ll probably be for the best.”

The two of you get stuck, trapped in a trance of gooey gazes and lovesick smiles. Anyone watching would gag at the sight. No one else matters to the two of you right now, though.

“You should get inside before Uncle Phil finds us again,” Steve sighs.

You nod.

Both of you surge forward to steal one last kiss. You don't think you’ll ever tire of the way Steve’s kisses make you feel. It’s like you’re static clinging to a freshly dried sweater, warm and buzzing with energy. Your foreheads stay together when you part. Your lips hover so close you could kiss again by accident.

“Goodnight, baby,” he murmurs

The pet name brings heat to your cheeks as if there are hot coals beneath your skin. There’s a fluttering in your stomach that makes you shy.

“Goodnight,” you answer just as softly.

You steal the last peck before slipping from his beemer, winning the game for tonight. It's simple enough to get back inside. You round the side of the house to your window. It’s still cracked. You peek in first. Jonathan is listening to music on his walkman as he writes in his notebook.

The window slides up easily. As you climb in, Jonathan shoots up pin-straight, breath noticeably heavier. Once it registers it's you he relaxes and slumps back down. He takes off his headphones.

“I thought you wouldn't be back until midnight,” he says, a hint of annoyance creeping in.

“Callahan caught us and sent us home,” you explain as you shut the window behind you.

“Callahan caught you? Why aren't you more freaked out by this?” He questions, furrowing his brows.

“Because I’ve known him like half my life and he’s Steve’s uncle. He promised not to tell,” you shrug.

“He’s Steve’s uncle?”

“Yeah, on his mom’s side. I saw them around the station a few times,” as you say it you suddenly wonder if they were at the station for another reason that went over your head until now.

“How are you so lucky?” He scoffs and shakes his head.

“I dunno, nepotism?”

Jonathan actually laughs. You ignore the skunky smell and take the win.

“So, when are you doing this again?” he jerks his chin up at you and crosses his arms.

“Thursday, but don't worry. Your services shouldn't be required then,” you answer jovially as you pick out pajamas to change into.

“Wow, four whole days? How will you ever manage?” He drawls.

“Shut up. Steve’s parents are home. He has to do something with them.”

“Oh, that mayor thing probably.”

You pause and turn to look at Jonathan.

“Mayor thing?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, “there’s some town award ceremony thing this week. Aren’t you going with your dad?”

“I am,” you nod slowly, “but why would Steve be there?”

Jonathan looks at you like you're stupid. Right now you're inclined to think maybe you are.

“Because his dad owns like half the town and wins at least two things a year,” he answers.

You inhale deeply and slowly, trying not to get too angry at yourself for forgetting. This stupid event that you always try to get out of, but couldn't this year. Your dad is winning something big apparently. That's not to say you're not proud of him, you are. This thing is just dreadfully boring. Steve being there makes things more interesting. More terrifying, sure, but more interesting nonetheless.

“How do you even know all this, weirdo?” You question.

“The school newspaper,” he sneers, “We cover it in the first issue.”

“Whatever, I’m going to get changed,” you grumble and leave the room.

The bathroom gives you the first moment alone to process everything tonight. When you catch your reflection in the mirror it's a little flushed, a little frazzled, but happy. Built-up energy comes out in the form of a little squeak and dance. Steve Harrington is your boyfriend. Steve Harrington is your boyfriend! Now, all you have to do is find a way to guarantee your dad won't kill him for it.

You and your dad fuss uncomfortably with the fancy clothes you've been out in. Joyce worries about all the finer details around you, swatting away your hands when one of you goes to pull on your collar or loosen a button. You have to admit, the Hoppers clean up well. They just hate getting cleaned up. It’s like giving a cat a bath.

“Oh, look at the two of you,” Joyce gushes, “We need to get pictures!”

Both you and your dad start to protest, but it's to no avail. She's already calling for Jonathan and his camera. He wears a smug smirk at your clear irritation. You shoot him daggers in return.

“At least try to smile,” he tells you and your dad.

You look at each other. You have to look upward to meet his eyes. One thing you didn't inherit from your dad is his height. A look of resigned agreement passes between you before you’re smiling at the camera. Jonathan takes a quick succession of photos and you're allowed to leave.

It feels funny being all dressed up in the chief's truck. This is the first time you've felt out of place in it.

“So,” your dad starts awkwardly, “About college…”

“Dad,” you sigh and rub your eyes with one hand, “Can we please not do this tonight?”

“I’m not- I’m just-” he pauses and takes a breath to calm down before trying again, “What I’m trying to say is, if this supervisor thing is what you wanna do… Then do it.”

You watch him drive with wide eyes.

“Really?”

He nods.

“Yeah, really.”

“What made you change your mind?” Your hazard to ask.

“Don't get me wrong,” he waves a hand around, “I still want you to go to school and get an education, but… I want you to be happy more.”

His words cause a bright light of hope to flicker on in your chest. A small smile sprouts on your face. With a steadying breath to muster up the courage you take the dive.

“I’m really glad you said that beca-” You start.

“God damn it,” your dad’s frustration cuts you off, “Harrington is already here.”

Your eyes snap forward. Sure enough, ahead of you in a rounded driveway is a shiny sleek black car. The apex of the driveway meets the front of a local event hall that’s been decorated to the nines. No doubt thanks to all that Harrington money. There are valets waiting to take everyone’s cars.

Out of the car comes a well-groomed polished man in a suit. His hair is a short chestnut coif and he has dangerously green eyes that feel perpetually sharp. From the other side appears a woman with an elegant red dress. Her own dark hair is up in a fashionably loose bun. They don't smile at each other. In fact, they barely regard each other at all. They immediately jump into talking to those around them.

Then he climbs out of the back. Steve is in a sharp black suit of his own and his brown hair has been perfectly blown out. His smile is unnaturally tight. It takes a massive amount of restraint to not fling your door open and run to him.

“Can you just be civil for tonight?” You sigh.

“I’m civil,” your dad argues lightly.

“Is that so? Then you won't mind me hanging out with Steve tonight,” you say knowingly.

Your dad’s grip tightens on the steering wheel. A ball of disappointment drops in your stomach. Any hope has been extinguished. Clearly, him caring about your happiness the most doesn't extend to Steve.

“Probably best to stay away while his old man is around,” he advises cryptically.

“Why? Steve isn't his dad,” you snap without meaning to.

“Maybe not, but he’s always worse when he’s around. Callahan caught him with someone last night, y’know. I told you, guys like him don't change,” he half lectures.

You look out your window as your face catches fire.

“Whatever, Steve is my friend and I don't want to argue about it tonight,” you state.

Your dad sighs but doesn't carry it any further. He doesn't want to argue about it tonight either apparently. Steve disappears into the venue leaving you to watch after him. After a short wait, you finally get to the top of the curve and climb out of the car.

“Hey, Chief,” the kid working valet greets.

The chief truck stays in front of the building, but off to the side. Just in case some world-ending call comes in. Half the town is here and the other half wants to be. It's a nice excuse to dress up, have a few drinks, and eat a free meal. You’re most excited to steal looks at Steve.

When you enter it's a grand room with circular tables arranged around a stage at the front. The back of the room has an extravagant bar where most people are mingling right now. The decorations are simple yet tasteful. The mayor, a young man the town elected to save them from all the crazy shit Hawkins seems to attract, shakes hands with his constituents around the room.

Some councilman starts talking to your dad. You’re introduced briefly then you’re just stuck standing there. This is the part you hate about these things. Just waiting around as your dad falls in and out of conversations. Bored, your eyes scan the room searching before you know it.

Sticky sweet eyes, molten light brown that you know has green hidden near the middle like caramel apples, catch you from near the bar. Steve’s entire being brightens when he realizes you’re there. He smiles and sends you a discreet little wave. He’s so pretty it makes your teeth ache. You return both the smile and wave, already calculating how you can sneak off to say hello.

“I’m going to get a drink,” you say.

Your dad nods as the councilman continues talking his ear off. Whatever they're talking about, your dad doesn't seem especially interested. With him distracted, you easily make your way to the bar. You take care to stick to the opposite end as the Harringtons, but Steve’s eyes have already found you. He excuses himself and waves through all of Hawkins’ finest residents. The bartender comes up to where you're leaning on the bar with your forearms.

“What can I get for you?” he asks.

“Just a sprite, thanks,” you smile.

“Make that two,” Steve’s voice comes from behind you.

A wide grin spreads across your face as you turn around. You’re met with an expression similar to your own.

“Why, Mr. Harrington, funny running into you here,” you muse.

“Mm, I’m considering it lucky. You look amazing,” he tells you as his eyes trail up and down your form.

“You look exceptionally handsome yourself.”

“I didn't know you’d be here,” he comments, still drinking you in.

Your face warms under his eyes.

“Normally I wouldn't, but I didn't have anything to get me out of it this year. What table are you guys at? We’re over at four,” you point at a round table near the front.

“We’re at one,” he points to a few tables away.

“Good, I think my dad would burst a blood vessel if he had to sit near yours tonight,” you attempt to keep it light, but the weight is still present.

“He won't burst one when he sees you over here talking to me?” he teases, helping to carry the load.

“Eh, he’ll survive,” you wave him off.

“Sprites,” the bartender announces as he places the two glasses on the bar top.

You reach for your wallet, but Steve’s hand catches your wrist.

“Put it on the Harrington tab, thanks,” he says.

The bartender nods and walks off. Steve’s hand stays on your wrist.

“So, there’s a coat check over in the entrance hall…,” you trail off suggestively, glancing to the doorway to the entrance hall.

Steve’s eyes follow yours and a smirk grows on his lips. His lips you wish you could kiss right in the middle of this stupid event.

“Meet you in twenty-” he begins to plan.

“Steve, there you are,” a deep voice sighs.

Steve goes stiff, straightening until he’s ramrod straight. Your eyes widen as they move to the man over Steve’s shoulder. Steve turns around, clenching his Sprite a little tighter than before.

“Sorry, sir, I came to grab a drink and ran into a friend,” he says, but his voice is different.

He’s different. His hands move less, barely at all. The inflection of his voice is more proper, professional almost. Your eyebrows furrow as you stare at the back of his head.

“Who is this friend?” His father asks, sounding tired.

“We work at the mall together,” Steve explains.

“Right, the mall,” his father states disdainfully.

“Steve is a really good worker,” you pipe in, attempting to back Steve up.

Both men’s eyes turn to you. Steve’s are soft and tender, but the gentleness of them is cut through by the sharpness of his father’s. His father sizes you up, but it's unlike anything you've experienced. You don't feel like he's looking at you, but all the price tags attached to the things you own and wear. It's as if his eyes are calculating your value. You feel like a burger from Benny’s compared to Steve’s fine dining at Enzo’s.

“And who is it you belong to?” he questions with narrowed eyes.

“Oh- uh-” you stutter.

“John,” your dad’s curt voice saves you.

All eyes go to your dad.

“Jim.”

He stands taller than John Harrington and thicker. His eyes are stony and his mouth is set. The two men hold each other’s gaze like dogs readying for the other to launch. Your dad’s eyes soften when they land on you behind the Harrington men. They create a wall between you. A wall you desperately want your dad to break through. This situation has gotten itchy and uncomfortable very fast.

“You okay?” he checks.

“Yeah, I just ran into Steve while getting my drink,” you answer with a small smile, holding up the drink in question.

Your dad nods, resetting his jaw. His eyes fall on Steve. Steve who, to his credit, is trying to convey as apologetic a look as he can get away with in front of his own father. He tries to communicate that he doesn't want you around John Harrington anymore than your dad does. You aren't sure it works.

“It’s good to see you, Chief,” Steve smiles tightly.

“Yeah, you too,” your dad replies unconvincingly.

“So, how've you been, Jim? How’s- uh- Diane, is it?” John inquires.

Now it’s your turn to go completely stiff. The mention of your mother sends your heart racing and your stomach plummeting. You look at your dad, panicked and worried. Steve catches the shift. Your dad has gone completely cold. He glares at John, jaw flexing as he restrains himself. There’s no way John doesn't know… right? It feels like everyone in Hawkins knows the tragedy of the Hoppers. A tragedy that split them up and sent half of them back home to Hawkins.

“Fine,” your dad answers short and hot before looking at you, “Let’s go find our table.”

You don't argue. You don't even speak. You simply nod and shoot Steve a shy smile as you shuffle past him. John Harrington’s eyes are heavy on you, but you don't acknowledge them. Your dad casts a solid arm over your shoulder, sheltering you from the Harrington men. Then he’s ushering you away. The only noise comes from the people around you blissfully unaware of the tension stretching between the Hoppers and the Harringtons. Little cards on the table with your names on them aren't hard to find. The two of you take your seats.

“Dad,” you start quietly, “I’m really sorry.”

Your dad fixes you with a tired smile.

“Nothing to be sorry for. You were just saying hi to a friend, right?” He raises his eyebrows slightly.

You have to swallow the lump of guilt in your throat before responding.

“Right,” you nod, “His dad came over right when we got our drinks.”

He sighs and runs a hand down his face. The gesture skews some of his mustache hair.

“Look, if you’re going to be friends with Steve, fine,” he says evenly, “But I don't want you anywhere near John Harrington.”

“Okay,” you agree without hesitation.

Your dad smiles warmly at you. The trust he casts over you only makes your skin crawl. Are you the worst kid in the world? It’s starting to feel that way.

“I’m sorry he mentioned mom,” you attempt to assuage some of your guilt.

“Don't be,” he sighs, “He knew what he was doing.”

A beat of silence passes over you. Anxiously, you sip your drink.

“I… I haven't talked to her, y’know. Since she…,” you can't finish the thought.

“You should,” he tells you, “You should call her soon.”

You furrow your brows at him. That wasn't what you had been expecting from him.

“Why?”

“Because she’s your mother. I’m sure she would like to hear from you.”

A short puff of air exits your nose as you cross your arms.

“She’s someone else’s mother too now. I’m sure she’s busy,” you answer bitterly.

Your dad sighs once more, running a hand down his face again.

“You can't stay mad at her forever,” he reasons.

“But you can?”

“That's different we’re- She’s your mother. It’s different.”

“She was my mother. You two aren't the only ones who lost someone. You aren't the only ones that get to be mad at each other for everything. I was there too, I experienced it too,” you snap quietly enough to only be heard by him.

His features soften at that. He nods solemnly. His heavy hand clamps comfortingly on your shoulder with a squeeze before retreating back to the table.

“Are you doing that movie night thing with Steve and your tuba friend?” he asks.

You chuckle and roll your eyes.

“Robin and I will be going to Steve’s on Friday, yes. His parents will be gone again by then. He wouldn't have us over otherwise,” you reply.

“Good.”

“He was trying to keep me from him,” you tell him, picking at a spot on the white tablecloth.

“Good,” he echoes.

“Does that mean you’re going to stop being so crazy about me and him?” you raise your eyebrows at him.

His mouth flattens into a line.

“I’m okay with you being friends, but there are rules,” he lifts a finger to start listing, “One, no hanging out alone unless it's in public. Two, you don’t go there if his parents are home. Three, he only comes over when I’m home.”

“Anything else?” You half-joke.

He levels you with a serious look.

“Just… Be honest with me. I just want to know you're safe.”

If you didn't know any better you’d think the whole world is crashing around you. Fuck, you feel god awful. Your dad’s voice mixes with the ghost of Callahan’s in your head. At least I know you’re safe, Callahan had said when finding you with Steve. I just want to know you’re safe. You force a smile that you hope is convincing.

“Yeah, of course,” you say, “There aren't any secrets between us.”

He smiles, the corners of his mustache lifting up in the way they do when it's really genuine. He gives you a loving shoulder squeeze. You struggle to hold back your nausea. There aren't any secrets between us. Maybe at one time that was true, but certainly not anymore.

Rule One >>

#steve harrington x you #steve harrington x gn!reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington #hopper!reader #stranger things fic

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