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spaceopinions · 2 years ago

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Zodiac LTM Rankings (#1)

A friend and I were talking about which zodiac signs we would successfully be able to spend a whole day with and I thought it was funny. So here’s my list.

BASED ON SUN SIGNS ONLY. (And yes, this list is incredibly biased)

Time I would spend with the signs: least to most 👇

11/12 - Virgo/Cancer

10 - Capricorn

8/9 - Libra/Scorpio

7. Leo

6. Taurus

5. Gemini

4. Aries

3. Sag

2. Pisces

1. Aqua

11/12). Virgo/Cancer

Amount of time I could spend with them: 30 minutes (if held at gun point)

bro. These people complain, complain, COMPLAIN. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, the vibe is off, it’s boring, it’s too loud, it’s too quiet, big or small IT NEVER ENDSSSSS.

Yes, you share a sun sign with Beyoncé, Michael Jackson, Ariana Grande, etc. But you are not them, beloved.

You are an average citizen working a job that you hate, yet somehow justify it because of the money or because “they wouldn’t know what to do if I quit”. I’ll tell you what they would do babes — hire your replacement. Speaking of work, thats literally all they talk about. (Depending on other placements) very one-dimensional people.

Always about the problems at work, or at home, or in their love life (they cheated before yes they’ll probably do it again). And normally that wouldn’t be an issue, what are friends for if not to listen to you vent? The issues is that they CAN NEVER RECIPROCATE. You could tell them a family member has a deadly disease and they wouldn’t offer more than an “oh, I’m sorry to hear that. But yeah can you believe my boss wouldn’t let me take the day off?”. Will always find some way to minimize what happened to you. Also, will always want you to dislike the people who have wronged them, but will remain oddly neutral towards those who have wronged you. But again, your problems aren’t as important.

And before someone goes “omg no that’s not true cancer is the sign of the mother, cancer is super caring la-di-dah”. Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are inherently selfish. Cancers are the most “emotional” when something affects THEM. And Virgos… I don’t think they need further explaining. Delusional as Pisces without the entertainment factor.

Only positive is that they will most likely feed you and most likely pay for it. IF you can tolerate them bringing it up for the rest of your life afterwards. Personally, I’d rather starve.

10). Capricorn

Amount of time I could spend with them: 1 - 2hrs. If we’re working on a project together (where they will inevitably takeover)

Represented by The Devil in tarot… need I say more?

No, but seriously. This is a sun sign that needs other fun placements in the chart. Otherwise, you might as well find a dirt road, pick up a rock, and bring it to lunch with you. 10/10 guarantee the conversation will be more interesting.

In my experience Capricorn’s always have this “secret side” to them but aren’t interesting enough for you to want to figure it out. They think they are more eye-catching than they actually are.

Will always repost quotes on social media saying stupid shit like “money on my mind I can’t do nothing else 💯” or “it’s always lonely at the 🔝” or “moving in silence never let them know your next move 🤫” (if you’re announcing your moves then you’re not being silent, dingbat) I always say they’re like Scorpios without the charm or the intrigue.

They might be your boss. They might be your neighbor. They might be that teacher you had in grade school that would never give you an extra pen even though they had a desk full. They’re everywhere, just not remarkable or noteworthy.

8/9). Scorpio/Libra

Amount of time I could spend with them: the length of a part-time shift if we were coworkers and 3 hrs. max otherwise

These two are tied simply because I didn’t feel like putting too much brain power into deciding which I actually liked best.

Some pros are that these people are down for an adventure (planned or spontaneous) and can actually be loyal friends when they feel like it. I have some great memories with individuals with these sun signs. They tend to say things that will stick with you.

Here’s the problem. Scorpios can be too spiteful, obsessed with being a “lone wolf”, and just borderline pathetic. While Libras are hypocritical yet judgmental; and very, very annoying when in a relationship.

Like I said, Scorpios are fun at first. When you’re just getting to know each other it’s like they’re down for anything. Until that fixed energy comes out to play and they get too comfortable. Unlike Sag’s, who get jealous of their inner circle, I notice Scorpios tend to get jealous of others who they aren’t super close too (or at least they’re smart enough to hide it).

The problem is that it’s exhausting to listen to someone shit talk all the time, tbh. About strangers and about people we know. Like yeah, your ex moved on after you had an amicable split 3 years ago. No, I’m not going to pop any tires with you. Gotta let it go. And then, in that scenario, when you decline to go with them. They get into this “nobody is there for me” or “Born alone, die alone” energy. They do not like when you disagree with them and I’m not a yes man, unfortunately. They are vengeful and never wrong. Even if they slapped you in the face, they’ll justify it. “Well why did you do xyz to make me hit you?” Yknow, classic water sign manipulation.

And with Libras, it’s a tale as old as time. They also love talking about other people way too much. And the funniest part is that usually they’re doing the exact same thing but in a different font.

For example, a Libra making minimum wage working in retail will make fun of another person working minimum wage but in fast food. Like idk how to break it to you hunny but…. LMAO. You are not giving Zuckerberg or Bill Gates. Also, respect all people who get off their ass everyday and make it happen. Doesn’t matter what job you have.

OR I had a Libra friend that used to talk shit about college (with multiple friends in school) saying it’s useless and not worth the debt etc., which is cool you’re allowed to have your opinion on it, yet got themselves into $30k+ credit card debt for shopping. You payed a tuition price with nothing to show for it. Used to piss me off so bad. But anyways, yeah, hypocrites.

Also cut us off because of a boyfriend and would only speak to us when they fought but that’s typical Libra behavior, moving on.

7.) Leo

Amount of time I could spend with them: have to test it out, will bring AirPods with noise cancellation just in case

I’ve never been close to a Leo so this is a very distant perspective, but they seem like good surface-value friends. Nice to dress up with, go out, get drinks, do something fun. Talk more than Geminis (quite a feat). But other than that, ehhh.

They also get jealous fast, friendships and otherwise. Leo’s love taking that “king of the jungle” shit seriously. And while I love that for them, we’re not in a Disney movie, this isn’t Pride Rock and you are not the boss. Don’t like to be reminded they aren’t in charge and will throw a tantrum.

Also, never as independent as they like to seem. Someone is always behind the scenes when it comes to them. Another sign that tries to be “secretive and mysterious” but is somehow always shouting their business from the rooftops at the same time.

If I have them on social media, their accounts are most likely muted. (Thanks Instagram!)

6.) Taurus

Amount of time I could spend with them: majorly depends on placements. On average, I’ll say a full-time shift if we’re coworkers or 5 hrs. in everyday life

Taurus’ are simple people. Compared to the chaos of the previous signs it’s like a breath of fresh air.

They will definitely get snacks or food with you. Will run simple errands with you. Will watch movies with you. If you go out of town, you can give them a key and they’ll feed your pets while you’re away. Good people.

Or they can be the follower type (and no being fixed doesn’t automatically mean you can’t be a follower, idk who told y’all that), can be opportunists when it comes to friends. (Loyal to a point)

For example, normally not flaky but if better plans come up with people they like more, they WILL flake. And I know this because I’ve always been the friend watching them do it to other people. People like to pass Geminis or air signs in general as the “fakest” but thats not true lmao. They definitely can be, but there are other signs that do the same shit. And Taurus is one of ‘em, let’s be fr guys.

Also will cancel plans if they’re just not feeling it anymore, which I respect. Can be annoying though if you do it multiple times. And then get mad people don’t invite you out as much.

Overall, they don’t usually leave a super strong impression. They’re dependable friends, though (if they like you).

5.) Gemini

Amount of time I could spend with them: if it’s the good twin, 8hrs. If it’s the bad twin, ill take the first train to hell, pls.

Ah, if it isn’t the worlds most hated.

I rather like Geminis. Or at least, what Geminis could be. Especially in work/school settings (that is where they flourish after all). Gets shit done. Might be a know it all, and will definitely respect you more if you show you’re as smart as them in someway. If you show you’re worthy.

If they know you’re not the one to fuck with, they’ll leave you alone, for the most part, in favor of someone “weaker/dumber”

Geminis pick their battles. And they will always do it when they think they can get away with it (mind games/gossip/etc.) To add to this, they are extremely observant. They don’t use that skill for good most of the time but they are and don’t ever think they’re not. That’s how they getcha, is by playing dumb.

I once read on some Instagram profile that Gemini isn’t actually based off good/evil, but of the two “jobs” they had in Greek mythology. The messenger, Hermes also doubled as the grim reaper. So not good/evil but playful and social vs. solemn and dutiful. I’m explaining it very bare-bones, but once I looked it at that way I feel like I understood the sign a lot more. Because whether you want to hear it or not, they are one of the most complex signs.

Now don’t get me wrong, they’re not super high on the list for a reason. The Geminis that the internet is always complaining about are very aggravating people. Shit starters, followers, gossips, bullies, overall irritating individuals. Let’s just say most of the ones I have on social media are muted (thank you Instagram!) Because they post their entire lives on there. The very definition of “peaked in high school”

They are entertaining, at the very least. And they don’t care if you’re laughing at them or with them, and I respect that. Also, they know how to keep in touch.

4.) Aries

Amount of time I could spend with them: Sometime after they reflect on a situation that pissed them off for the 100th time but before they start the anger-cry nonsense

I find that Aries can be more loyal than earth signs in friendships. Will fight with you. Your enemies are their enemies. Will get you out the house if you’re a homebody or will stay in with you if you insist. Good friends when they wanna be.

Aries are incredibly selfish though. They are good friends, partners, family members, coworkers, etc. until they just don’t want too anymore.

They are less obvious about it than virgo/cancer, and will at least listen to you vent, but deep down they really don’t see anyone else’s problems as equal to their own. They just don’t.

Also, they secretly think they are better than everyone else in their lives. Not necessarily in a secret jealousy way, more like a stated-fact kind of way.

Like - “Grass is green, water is wet, I’m better than you, the sky is blue “ LMAO no that’s literally how they think I’m not even joking.

I won’t say they’re particularly aggressive, but I always notice they have misplaced anger? Or angry at the wrong time. They’ll get worked up about something that happened 2 years ago, yet won’t confront the person/situation that did it. In my experience, Aries pick their battles too (again, other placements depending). Other than that I’d say they’re pretty calm.

They cannot see when they did wrong, though. They would rather forget about what happened instead of work through it or Yknow, apologize.

3.) Sagiterrorist

Amount of time I could spend with them: Until they piss me off enough that I manage to find a way to enter hell by choice

If you seen my last posts, you should know I much I hate to do this. But I have to be honest here.

Sag’s make great surface level friends. I will never get close to one ever again, placements be damned, but damn do they make great conversation.

I could talk about any random thing with a Sag. Good speakers and good listeners (when they wanna be). Charming, intellectual, attentive, again, when they want to be. The artist Kehlani has an album called “It Was Good Until It Wasn’t” and that is how I would describe any interaction with a Sag

They are transactional friends. When they can’t get what they want from you, they get vengeful. They hate when people outdo them (by their standards) and will bring you down in any way they can. Sometimes by influencing outside opinions on you, all while smiling in your face. Always playing both sides.

If you keep ‘em around, don’t keep ‘em close.

2.) Pisces

Amount of time I could spend with them: depends on the length of their delusions

These people can be first or dead last.

It’s simple, though. Pisces are the most adaptable sign. They can be what you want them to be, for the most part. Stay home friend, go out friend, vacation friend, you name it they’ll do it.

Some of them lack a backbone. Some of them have too much of one. Some of them pretend to have one until the last minute.

And all of them play victim like it’s a video game character. Gets really tiring. It’s just never their fault. (Again, classic water sign)

Inconsistent, unrealistic, and so, so much fun when they’re not being terrible people.

When a Pisces loves you, they will ride or die for you. More so than any other sign Tbh. But on the other side, they will (attempt) to destroy you if they feel wronged (which is usually you setting a boundary that they continuously cross, doesn’t take much for them to feel wronged lmao).

And when I say destroy I don’t mean in the cool, femme fatale, sword fights and gun slinging way. I mean in the petty lies, throw your darkest secrets in your face, kind. Tacky and over dramatic. GOSSIP ALMOST MORE THAN GEMINIS lol. But will throw a compliment in with an insult.

Other than that, Pisces are a sign I can immediately get along with. And I like that they will always check in on you. Will also listen to you vent and very much appreciate when you listen to them, as a lot of people in their lives usually don’t.

1.) Aquarius

Amount of time I could spend with them: a full 24 hours (if I’m feeling patient)

Aquarius are so much fun when they’re not being ridiculous. That’s really all I can say LMAO.

The ones I’ve been super close too I’ve loved dearly, and the ones I wasn’t super close too were still easy to talk too. They’re open minded, quick to take your problems on as their own (if they like you), and will catch up with you in some way whether it’s sending a meme or a TikTok, calling or texting, or seeing you in person. Knows what it means to be a friend.

On the flip side, they can be just too caught up in their world. Every time you hang out it’s on their terms, you eat where they prefer, you go where they wanna go, your opinions aren’t really worth much at times. Selfish.

Some will try to do what you want for once but will be in a mood the whole time which is an instant vibe killer. Aquarius have their own world with their own plans and you either fit into it or you don’t.

I respect that, but much like their Sister sign they have trouble understanding that they are no one’s boss.

Also, some (not ones I’ve been close too but like coworkers/acquaintances I’ve had, etc.) try way too hard to be “different”. Like, don’t get me wrong, I understand Aquarius is the rebel and all that is lovely, but it doesn’t always apply. Like, they go as far as swearing people are copying them even though they’re just copying trends?

You buy trending items off tiktok, you’re obsessed with y2k, or cottage core, or whatever else the internet says to be obsessed with nowadays. You don’t understand fully tarot but you use an app on your phone to “read” for your friends. You think it’s revolutionary when you don’t style your hair. You have an eyebrow piercing and chunky bleached highlights.

Babe. Respectfully, you are no more unique than Sarah, Jim, and Taylor.

All those things are great but you didn’t invent them nor make them popular. Be fr.

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guerilla935 · 5 years ago

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My Favorite Fishing in Video Games Where Fishing is Not Core Game Play

A really awesome surprise for me is always to boot up a game that is full of action and suspense to be introduced to a fishing side activity. I have toiled away at fishing in games for hundreds of hours at least. It has gotten so bad in some instances that my friends have asked me why I haven’t just taken the plunge into real fishing. It’s definitely because that is a lot of work and in real life I don’t catch a fish every 30 seconds. They have also wondered why I don’t just play a fishing simulator like Planet Fishing (Shout out to Planet Fishing that’s a great game). And that’s where I have to think for a while. Fishing while you have better things to do like save the world is very special. You aren’t fishing because it’s the objective of the game or because that’s why you are there, you are fishing because it’s fun and maybe you need a break to swing a fishing rod instead of a sword. And then you can stop, and get back to fighting or whatever the rest of the game entails. Below are games that have fishing in them for mostly no reason at all. I have shamelessly spent way to long with my bait in these waters and absolutely loved every second of it and I hope that you (the reader) can find a lot of relaxation in these waters as well.

Pokemon Series

Since the very first Pokemon game there has been fishing. You get the old rod from some guy and then you are free to fish up as many goldfishes that you want hoping that one of them will grow up to be a 21 foot tall dragon. Pokemon has combined their fishing with their main game play and makes you at least start a battle with the fish you drag onto shore. Now fishing in Pokemon is pretty subpar mainly because a single Pokemon game hasn’t really been known to have more than a handful of Pokemon that you can fish for. Also if you are looking for a strong water type Pokemon you could do a lot better than fishing for it. Typically a Pokemon player will fish about 5-10 times total. And although fishing for Pokemon isn’t all that great it has been in every game for over 20 years and that is pretty impressive. It’s a small detail that makes the world of Pokemon feel like a real world of wild creatures.

Sonic Adventure DX

In Sonic Adventure DX you are given the choice to play as a lot of different characters, one of which is named Big the Cat. Most of the characters are combat characters that rely on speed and attacks to get through levels, some even wielding rocket launchers and extremely oversized hammers. However when you start the story of Big the Cat you are thrown in a completely opposite direction. Big the Cat is a giant purple cat who lives in the jungle with his best friend Froggy. Froggy accidentally swallows one of the most powerful objects in the Sonic universe and Big the Cat must chase him all over the world trying to fish him out of where he is hiding so that he can eject the Chaos Emerald out of him and they can return to their life in the jungle. The fishing mechanics in this game actually are really good and this is probably because Sega had just put out a series of mildly successful Bass fishing games before releasing this game. Either way its absolutely hilarious that Big the Cat gets to defeat Chaos 6 right before Super Sonic has his showdown with Chaos Perfect.

Final Fantasy XV

In Final Fantasy XV you play as Noctis and his favorite hobby is fishing. When I first played this game I sped through it and never fished once and reached the end of the game never indulging Noctis in his hobby. When I replayed Final Fantasy XV I fished for 50 hours and then ejected the disc from my console. The fishing in Final Fantasy XV is surprisingly deep with a lot of the vendors supporting what you could call a fishing road trip. In the game it is extremely dangerous to be out at night so I would plan day trips to lakes to maximize the amount of fishing I would get to do. I would prepare days in advance to make sure I could afford the trip and that I had enough supplies to both protect myself at the lake and have enough supplies to last the whole day. Final Fantasy XV really is a game about getting really distracted and fishing is probably its best distraction. My days on the lake were the perfect balance of peaceful and rewarding, this game offers an awesome reward of well planned trips and a good haul of fish.

Final Fantasy XIV Online

Final Fantasy XIV is the only game I have ever played where the fishing played exactly like its combat. When you are fighting enemies in a dungeon in FFXIV you are constantly adding buffs, landing hits, using consumables, and managing resource bars. When you are fishing in FFXIV you are constantly adding buffs, landing hits, using consumables, and managing resource bars. Note you are doing so at a much more leisurely and less life threatening pace but you are still doing it. I never maxed out the fisher class but I got it into the expansion content which was a really long and relaxing experience. Yet another Final Fantasy title where the real meat of the game is in getting distracted. When you fish you also sell on a player market that fluctuates based on market price just like real fish. You get the relaxing fishing side of the game and also an aggressive economic number crunching side as well. I spent way too long with a real pen and paper deciding how much I should sell for on any particular day and bossing around my two cat girl employees.The MMO aspect of the game adds so much to what you would expect to be a very solitary experience.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Have you ever gone fishing for hours to receive an empty bottle? That is exactly what kick started my addiction to fishing in Twilight Princess. An empty bottle in Twilight Princess means another way to heal yourself, another way to add oil to a lantern, another way to carry useless water around. The only way to get the 4th bottle in the game is to go to a dedicated fishing spot and fish until you pulled it out of the pond. The actual fishing is pretty weird, it involves motion controls which I still am not entirely sure what they do or how to properly use them but it is really fun to hold the pole in gyroscope and set the lure in the water waiting for fish to come get a nibble. Although the physics with the water make it difficult to see if you have actually gotten a bite or not it still is enjoyable the other 85% of the time it works.

Stardew Valley

So this one is at the top of every other “fishing in games” list and there is a big reason for that. It’s really good. I think in my first Stardew Valley farm I gave up farming entirely and fished all day every day and stopped to buy food to replenish my energy and go back at it. I really didn’t care about getting rich or making enough money to expand the farm or get to know everyone I actually spent about 50 hours just fishing. The fishing takes some skill and a pretty keen eye but the random jerks of the fish and the rhythm of the game play are so fun to try to master. It’s a part of Stardew Valley that I felt like I was continuously improving on as time went on and it was really fun. I mean I don’t recommend it because you’ll end up moderately poor but it was really fun.

Fantasy Life

Fantasy Life offers you 12 potential jobs, you could be a brilliant blacksmith or a devious potions maker, a lumberjack or a knight, a hunter or a seamstress. However your inner dad is calling and you decide you want to play through a fantasy RPG as a fisherman, hell yeah. the story is relatively short so you can quickly unlock a lot of locales to fish at and there is a manageable economy system that lets you deal in fish in advantageous ways. You can even pick up cooking on the side and make fancy dinners and sell the fish for higher you can do that as well. Fantasy Life is like a clever mix between Animal Crossing and Final Fantasy XIV and it kind of succeeds and falls short of it. The fishing also takes a good amount of skill and rhythmic approach to master so it doesn’t get boring almost at all until you have cleared the game.

Maple Story 2

Maple Story 2 is one of the most expressive and cutest games that I have ever played. And the fishing is no different, its all about style. The fishing in Maple Story 2 is monotonous and can get old but you do it for the chibi clout. Because much like the rest of the game you can look however you want and do whatever you want and sometimes you just feel like kicking back and throwing lure in the water at the beach. I never got super into the fishing in this game but it won me over with its adorable design and stylish atmosphere.

Animal Crossing Series

Of course I had to include the most popular game right now. Animal Crossing has become something of a connection between people when we can’t leave the house. A thing we all have in common on social media and with our friends. My first experience with Animal Crossing really starts with New Horizons and I was completely blown away. The fishing isn’t super complex or difficult but the range of what you can pull out of the water and what you can do with it is absolutely breathtaking. For a game about cartoon people living with humanoid cartoon animals the fish looking photo realistic. And the museum where they can be kept is stunning. The museum looks like it was designed to capture the feel of being in a museum and matches the design of all the great real life aquariums and observatories. Although it is a bit frustrating when your rod breaks it is easy enough to make one (or worst case buy one) to get your bait back in the water.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Tell me I’m wrong, you can’t. Isabelle getting added to Smash brought a very powerful fishing move that isn’t practical all the time but is really funny. Wouldn’t recommend this game if you are looking to relax and fish but I do recommend hooking your friend with a fish hook and send them flying off screen if you had to.

Minecraft

I have a very special role in Minecraft when I join a friends server. A role that I assign to myself. While everyone is off getting awesome swords, spelunking for diamonds, and exploring the infinite landscape, I build a small wooden shack and I set up a farm with an irrigation canal and start fishing. A steady supply of food is necessary and while I’m hanging out with my friends in a server I’m happy to be the one to provide it. The fishing in this game is probably the slowest of all the ones on this list but is the most useful. just throwing the fish in the oven creates food that can help keep you and your companions alive for a long time. I think I definitely have my limits with Minecraft fishing and I couldn’t do it for hours on end it is rewarding to set up shop and find a nice place to settle down for a few hours to fish.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

This is the only Tactical RPG in this post. Fire Emblem: Three Houses has sections between combat where you can go and talk to your students and do other activities. We aren’t here to discuss other activities though we are here for the fishing. The fishing allows you to catch fish for some reason that I’m sure is good but never intrigued me enough to learn. All I know about the fishing in Fire Emblem: Three Houses is that it’s fun. I started to bust through combat just so that I could get back to fishing. The funniest part about this one is that the fish has a health bar. Pressing the A button at the exact moment finds a way to become easier and still find ways to mess you up. Either way, I’m not that interested in tactical RPGs but I heard there was fishing in this game so I had to play it and it was worth it.

Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy

In Jak & Daxter, Daxter gets turned into a small animal by dark eco while exploring a dangerous island off the shore of his home with his best friend Jak. To get back to the island to investigate, the pair have to borrow a boat owned by a fisherman who is troubled by an invasive species of poisonous eel that is ruining his haul. He asks Jak to catch fish for him without catching any eels. This fishing mini game can only be done once but it is going to either be something you think is very unique or a huge waste of time. All I’ll say is that the sound that the fish makes when it goes into the net is absolutely a reward in itself it is so satisfying. But anyways, more intense than some other options here but get it done so you can get back to absorbing eco powers and jumping on stuff.

Shovel Knight

Shovel Knight is a 2D action platformer but you can also fish. And you fish for the best kind of fish, money. You can get some other stuff too like health pickups and magic replenishers but we know what you want. You see that little glint and you pop out the fishing rod and pull out those money bags. If you are devoted enough you can even get a surprise from the Troupple King (long live his highness) if you fish out the right stuff. I don’t even know if I fished all that much when I played Shovel Knight but it’s hilarious that you can.

NieR: Automata

I did not play a lot of NieR and that’s because I was fishing. I don’t know why all I did was fish but you throw your little robot in the pond and you lean on a magical stool so honestly it was good enough for me.

Club Penguin

If you know then you know. In hind sight there really wasn’t a whole lot to do in Club Penguin but this mini game really messed me up. You basically get to move up and down, catching fish and avoiding trash and other hazards. Basically trying to do this and catch as much fish as possible to avoid having to ask your parents for real money to pay for snacks to feed a virtual ball of fluff with eyeballs. I don’t really remember how challenging it really was but I remember getting decently high scores to about like 100 fish per round so I guess it was pretty easy if I could do that at age 10.

Rune Factory 4

I’m gonna be very honest about this one and say that the fishing in Rune Factory 4 is basically just Animal Crossing fishing but more anime. The fish react to the pole the same, the fish almost look the same, and the buttons to respond are the same. What makes this one special is where you can take it. You can fish in the little moat in town, in the lake, in a dungeon full of monsters, in a lake that is eternally the season fall, anywhere. You are constricted by the boundaries of Stardew Valley and that is how much energy you have and how much time you have in the day. It’s still fun to fish but I wish that they had used their fun fantasy setting to give the ability to fish up some cool made up fish instead of strictly things that exist in real life.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Ok, diving, fishing, same thing. Diving in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is just fishing with your whole body. It works a lot in the same way as Pokemon where you fish up monsters to fight and get the rewards from them. It is a completely optional activity however if you decide to undertake the grind of scavenging in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 then you will never hurt for money ever again. It makes my wonder why Rex stopped being a salvager to do odd jobs because this was PROFITABLE. The main incentive is that there are spots that spawn a certain enemy that drop cores. Cores are like gacha or loot boxes that contain new anime girl partners that deal huge damage in fights. They even have their own side quests and story lines. I spent maybe 30 hours grinding before giving up on this game and while it does become tiresome I really enjoyed the random rewards of possibly getting a new companion or a really cool weapon.

It’s been tossed around that every great RPG has fishing in it. I won’t argue that point but a lot of great RPGs certainly do have fishing in them. Everyone needs a break sometimes and fishing is the perfect activity to remind us to stop and take that break. Even games can get long and without these distractions it might be so much harder to complete these harrowing tasks. Don’t forget to take breaks and just enjoy the sound of the water every once in a while because there’s no rush playing video games.

Honorable Mentions:

Kingdom Hearts: Sora fishing with his bare hands on Destiny Island

Persona 4: Weird aqueduct fishing

Persona 5: Marina fishing life

Sea of Thieves: A pirates life for me

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pikaflute · 4 years ago

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hi, sudafed cleared my sinuses long enough to think so here’s a giant post about most of my charles headcanons

Playlist

OH btw here’s my 4 hour and 23 minute playlist for Charles. Enjoy. Yes I know I’m insane: https://open.spotify.com/user/pikaflute24/playlist/4DBxaaxbqsmJt9Fvl8AgwZ?si=OcXlYCdFRzOhuKa4p_HdUQ

General Headcanons

He was born November 24 1965. He’s currently 56, but I usually write him in his late 40s in most fanfic and content I make. So there’s this middle aged man....

He has hazel eyes. Sometimes they look green, sometimes brown. Sometimes they’ll be white but that’s when he’s using his magic so mind your business

Gear brand over his heart >:)c

:) i think he has piercings and tattoos, a skull (dead man teehee) on his upper arm, a tattoo of a date (the date pickles and him first met TEEHEE) on his left arm also has a tattoo on his arm of the day he “died” on his right. had his ears pierced when he was a teen.

Has a sweet tooth so hard. Smuggles in treats into the drawers of his desk just to snack on during the day and has a mini fridge just filled with ice cream and also sorts of other goodies. He loves brownies and cookies the most

Likes to work out and keep himself in shape. it takes his mind off of stressful things like work and the boys, and just take his morning practice sparring and doing various exercises in the mordhaus gym.

he’s uh also very flexible so he does yoga a lot when he exercises. don’t. look too deep into that

cannot cook to save his life. he almost burned mordhaus down trying to make himself a sandwich

he can play guitar! he used to play it more often when he was younger but he rarely has the time to play it nowadays. when he does get to play it, it’s usually in private (and mainly songs by dethklok), or it’s to show off to a certain lead guitarist that yes he is playing that solo wrong

he’s ambidextrous but prefers using his right hand. he’ll use his left hand to spar in order to go easy on his opponents because hes a smug cunt

he’s 5′7 but intimidation factor adds a couple inches doesn’t it

has a scorpion named princess as a pet. he lets her sit on his desk sometimes and it scares the shit out of dethklok which makes charles laugh on the inside

hes also a cat person. one time toki brought a cat home and it settled on charles’ lap and he almost cried

loves to be a smug asshole and relishes in it. will not take shit from anyone, especially from some asshole who is trying to pull one over on him

he has no idea how social media works at all. will print memes out to show to dethklok, he’s very fond of cat memes specifically (i can has cheeseburger type beat)

he has no idea what any internet memes means he isn’t going to start learning. he is going to misuse internet phrases. are you boys, ah, finding the imposter? [cue five groans from dethklok]

knows a lot of languages. not a comprehensive list but: french, swedish, norwegian, spanish, italian, japanese, chinese, german, russian and korean

is very competitive. scarily competitive. once he starts losing in smash or mario kart all hell will break lose

very bad at showing emotions or affection, when he gets compliments he gets all red and quiet and mumbles a thank you.

weird about being touched as well and will usually avoid it unless it’s with someone he trusts

speaking of, his love language is acts of service :)c

hates being called charlie or chuck, unless the right person calls him it ;)

he’s autistic. was nonverbal for most of his life and only talked to certain people, or anyone at all. he stims with his hands and uses his pens to fidget.

has a collection of novelty socks. he likes the ones that have polka dots or stripes

sleeps with a garfield plushie he had since he was younger. it helps him with the nightmares

when any of the boys need help sleeping (usually toki or pickles), he’ll sleep with them in his bed. after dying he had trouble sleeping some nights, so dethklok returned the favor and all piled up in his bed and helped him sleep. he didnt have nightmares after that night

hes nearsighted, and prefers to wear glasses over contacts

lactose intolerant, hes still eating mac n cheese and paying the price

metalhead but pretends to not be just to mess with his boys

crippling addiction to match 3 games. also loves to play minecraft.

overly self sacrificial. puts ones he love needs before his own, results in himself being very isolated and distant from those he cares about because he’s afraid of hurting them

his favorite colors are black and purple

coffee kinda guy. black coffee or bust

has a lot of cute novelty mugs to put his coffee in. he ones from places where dethklok tours, dethklok official ones (the only two that aren’t adorned with spikes), some cat themed ones, a couple that have ties and math references, and one from his boys that says “most brutal manager”. he drinks out of that last one the most

he has a couple of grey hairs and wrinkles, but he keeps them because they remind him that he’s human. also pickles said old men were hot but you didnt hear that from me

likes to play chess but he can never find a good opponent. all the klokateers are too scared if they win and dethklok is too distracted to ever play with him or they end up losing to quickly if charles plays against them

really wants kids. he babies his sister’s sons and daughters a TON (uncle charles always brings the best gifts :) ) and also treats toki like his own son in a way. toki doesnt mind, he really appreciates the love

speaking of, toki does call charles dad once and it makes charles cry for like. a week and a half

his favorite dethklok song is the gears :)

he likes to collect knives as a side hobby, his favorite of his collection is a sleek black one with skulls on the handle

he has a motorcycle and likes to drive it around sometimes to just be alone with himself. it’s all black with a red gear on it

lightweight but only if he drinks the amount dethklok drinks. can hold his alcohol fairly well if he drinks like a sensible human, prefers brandy and wine

he can smoke cigars to be sexy for me and me ONLY

likes to read in his spare time. he likes mystery novels and science fiction

he has soft spot for cheesy sitcoms, they’re his guilty pleasure

his favorite youtuber is lockpickinglawyer. yours should be too

usually sleeps in only his boxers but will wear a shirt if its’s cold. he tends to sleep on his side (also wants to be the little spoon when cuddled but he will never admit that)

takes vacations sometimes away from the boys despite his worry that something will go wrong (it will!). many of his vacations are usually going to visit his family and going to the shore with them, or travelling to somewhere new for a change (cue charles being a yakuza substory on his one vacation per year)

he can sew pretty well. learned from his mom and used to sew the whole his sister use to put through her soccer uniform.

can also do makeup, and usually does it for one of the boys of there’s no one else around to help

bites his lip when he’s nervous. which is a lot

likes chococat and gudetama. he’s a man of tastes

laughs really loud if you catch him off guard. he snorts sometimes too. he’s embarrassed by it, but i think its’ cute

loves law and order obviously

he likes men

has a lot of pent up rage. very good at compressing it. sometimes

as high priest, he stays up very late trying to decipher the ancient prophecies that dethklok needed to fulfill. he doesnt sleep very much when he starts out because he misses home, so the band makes him come back (or else)

also as high priest he becomes more intune with magic granted to him after he died and he mainly uses his magic to protect his boys when they go back to being a band. also to fuck with them

the band he managed before dethklok was a band named savior who said they were a metal band with a unique sound, but that unique sound was actually just being a christian metal band that were bad at playing music. they also treated charles like shit and blamed him for them doing so poorly with sales and shows. had an unfortunate “accident” with a tour bus after charles had enough of their attitude towards him. he denies he had anything to do with it (he did.)

Family/Childhood

He’s the baby of the family. Spoiled rotten to the max. He doesn’t admit it though but whenever he comes home you know he abuses the “:)c im the favorite” card

He has 4 older sisters: Caroline who is a high school civics teacher, Cynthia who is a librarian, Callie who is a coach for a soccer team, and Charlotte who is a lawyer/manager who manages Ladyklok, which gets awkward (and funny) when Abigail starts dating the lead singer Natalie

charles is actually one of the tallest in his family. his dad is 6’1 and his older sister Callie is 5’11. cynthia is 5’6, caroline is 5’6, and his mom and charlotte are 5’5.

his mom is a doctor and his dad is an accountant. his mom’s name is giovanna and his dad’s name is elijah

caroline is the oldest sister, followed by cynthia, callie, charlotte then charles.

Charlotte and Charles are sworn enemies since they were born on the same day a year apart and basically have the same job. They do love each other though

His father calls him Charles. Caroline and Cynthia call him Charlie. Callie calls him Chuck. Charlotte calls him Charles (derogatory). His mom calls him a whole slew of nicknames that she made up when he was young (she calls him cheese ball and he turns red)

caroline has a wife (lauren who is a chef) and two kids (evan and shelby)

cynthia is dating a coworker (viola)

callie has a husband (john who is a stay at home dad) and they have three kids (brenda, melissa, and jeff)

charlotte is dating ladyklok (and abigail). this is a weird flex on charles i think.

He had a race car bed when he was like 5

He also was also one of those kids at family game night. He almost killed Cynthia over a game of monopoly

Always got to lick the spoon first after his mom baked brownies

He grew up in North Jersey (derogatory) (also yes im projecting state shot)

He’s also Italian (derogatory)

He got bullied in middle school for a little bit but once his older sisters found out, oh boy did all hell break loose

Was in band in high school. He played flute (DONT TALK TO ME I LIKE PROJECTING), he was of course a soloist and incredibly smug about it

Took gymnastics as a kid. Can do a backflip on command. Also very flexible.

First manager gig was helping his sisters sell girl scout cookies. They raked in a lot of profits when baby bro was behind the scenes. His cut was eating thin mints for free

Loved Star Trek when he was a kid

Was incredibly gifted, and taught himself to read at a young age. didn’t talk that much though

was always sick when he was little. he would always get sinus infections and colds if someone even sneezed weird

was in mock trial in high school. one guy on his team was a jerk to him so charles made it a point to be this poor kid’s nemesis

was on the student council, treasurer of course.

was also in nhs, and he was treasurer there too

was that kid who insisted on doing the group project by himself because he didn’t want to wait on anyone to finish their part

was super rowdy as a kid, always got into trouble but his mom was a little lenient of punishment (hes a mommas boy)

when he was like super young he bit people cause he was just a little monster (charles' sisters: mom charles is biting again. charles, biting one of them: im not :/ sheesh)

wanted to be a lawyer since he was 7

put his own siblings and parents on trial and would win every trial and would always get the last cookie or a higher allowance

he shared his room with his sister Charlotte and they would set up a pillow fort on one of the beds and stay up late reading together

loved going to the beach as a kid, his mom still has his collection of shells from the beach

on the boardwalk, he would dominate at claw machines anad carnival games. he won a bunch of plushies from himself (and his sisters obviously)

his dad and him have a super close bond. they watched star trek together and also like to watch how the stock market would do. his dad was also sometimes the judge in charles’ mock trials at home

they were very supportive when he came out as gay, he was also the first of his sibilings to come out of the closet

College

Got his masters in business management at rutgers and a JD (law degree) from seton hall law.

Started college when he was 18 (1983) and ended college when he was 26 (1991)

Wasn’t a party guy. Never got invited to many, but he never went unless a certain redhead was in town

Sustained himself off of ramen, coffee, and SSRIs to get his masters (hey man i feel ya)

Did weed like three times. Three of those times were because of, you guessed it, a certain redhead

Speaking of, his first time having sex was in his dorm with Pickles. Pickles also kicked him off of the bed (those beds are fucking tiny) while they slept, and almost burned Charles’ dorm down trying to make toast the next morning

Absolute did not do essays until the night before. Bad habit that made it’s way into Dethklok managing when he’s forced to write a legal brief before 12 am.

Loved calculus 2 for some reason. Nerd

Had a mullet. Pickles thought it was hot (still is) while Charles would rather die than remember anything about that horrid hairdo

Also went through his goth/emo phase while in Law School. He stuck out amongst the sea of sweater vests and polo shirts

Was in a band with his fellow college bandmates. The band was called Habeas Corpses and he was the lead singer who also played guitar. Their sound was kind of similar to TWRP’s first two EPs (The Device and 2nite). they had a grunge aesthetic, and yes charles dyed his mullet black (with a purple streak), for the band.

his bandmates were all fellow law students. dillan was on drums, margaret was their bass guitar, and nick was their keyboardist. all three of them also got tutored by charles while in law school. they are still best friends and write to each other sometimes

Was on the debate team, but uh kicked off due to be very competitive (he threatened to punch the opposing debater)

Was also in the chess club, also kicked off for being too competitive (lunged at a kid for cheating)

After being kicked from the two previous clubs, he joined fencing, his very competitive nature made him the best in the state

nick (the guy in charles’ band) was charles’ roommate the whole time they were in college. they may or may not have had a brief relationship before they realized they would be better as friends

nick also has a nes and charles loved to played zelda and wrote an entire guide for himself because he’s was that into the game (nerd)

occasionally would be found sleeping in the library on campus

wanted to be an RA but the resident association at his schools thought he was a little much. charles took this as a compliment

worked out a lot between studying and classes. a lot of jocks underestimated him because of his size but charles was just :) [casually lifts something heavy]

a lot of fellow classmates thought he was super cool cause of the leather he wore, and how cool and quiet he was, too bad they didnt know he was a huge nerd

tried skateboarding. once.

had a cadillac that barely started and drove like a piece of shit but that was charles’ baby

pickles tried to have sex with charles in said car btw, charles almost killed him for even daring to suggest to tarnish his beautiful baby

has damaged his back permanently because of all the books he used to carry around in his crappy back pack

did some modelling for one of his friends in college. he was very attractive and got some other modelling job through it. he tries to hide that from the boys in the future because he thinks it’s embarrassing

Relationship with Dethklok

Pickles - he’s known the drummer the longest out of any other member, and if you couldn’t tell by now, he had a brief relationship with the drummer back in the 80s (and maybe also still has a crush on him :)). charles respects and admires pickles’ talent as a musician and sometimes they play together when they have time alone. he tries to be there when pickles has a relapse in either emotions with his family or something else, but still tries to maintain a distance because he thinks that pickles doesn’t feel the same as he did in the 80s. (he does btw). nothing could break the bond these two share. not even death

Nathan - understands nathan’s quiet nature (nonverbal kings!) and strive for perfection in everything dethklok creates because he is the same way. their similarities allow them to connect on a level that allows nathan to open up about his feelings that he likes to lock away. nathan also gets charles to open his feelings up and actually care for himself for once in his damn life. charles also helps nathan with the depression he develops after charles dies and how to deal with it despite it being not brutal. nathan wants to give back and he does by becoming one of charles’ closest friends (and maybe even lovers hehehe)

Toki - charles has taken it upon himself to be toki’s father figure after seeing the way toki’s family has left him for essentially dead. ever since toki joined the band, charles has made it a point to be there for him whenever he needed it. even if it meant spending late nights reading to toki or sleeping over in toki’s room to help him sleep, he’ll do it. he blames himself for toki’s disappearance but toki assures him that he did the best he could. toki calls him dad a lot after doomstar. it makes charles cry.

Skwisgaar - unstoppable asshole meets immovable object. skwisgaar sees himself above everyone else like he does with the other dethklok members but with charles, skwisgaar knows that charles isn’t intimidated by him nor will he bow to the guitar god in anyway. this develops a game of cat and mouse between the two, with skwisgaar trying to no subtly push charles’ buttons and to see what makes him ticks, while charles resist him at every turn with a smug ‘:) is that all you got’ and it delights him to finally see the guitarist squirm under pressure.

Murderface - at first the two are very. distant to say the least. murderface used to see charles as unemotional robot and charles was fine with that and accepted the distance. overtime however, and especially after charles died, murderface warmed up to charles confiding in him things he hasn’t told the band, mainly things about his insecurities because charles is ‘fucking smart with crap like this’. and charles helps him and is happy to see him work out his problems and not bottle them anymore like the rest of his bandmates. charles also enjoys murderface’s company as a friend as well. and….he’s gonna help murderface the most with the whole traitor stuff too.

Abigail - mlm and wlw hostility. but seriously they’re good buds. he sympathizes with having to deal the moronic actions of dethklok on a daily basis and also thinks she’s really intelligent and overall fun to hang out with. they take lunch breaks frequently together and like to make fun of people at dethklok dinners together as a fun activity together. abigail will bully his ass once she finds out she’s dating charles’ sister and WILL bring up those baby pictures to get a higher raise thank you very much

Knubbler - can you say coworker besties! like abigail, he gets along because they both have to deal with dethklok being, well dethklok, but with knubbler, charles can relax a little more. the two cause problems on purpose just because they can. the two are also close friends and knubbler tries to get charles to relax for once in his life, and despite charles protests and objections, he sometimes caves and hands out with his friend (maybe boyfriend OOOOO who knows)

Sex Headcanons (IM SORRY)

um maybe he can have a giant dick (10 inches for me), it do be swinging though

daddy kink (everyone stay on this side, ill take care of him….come to daddy ;)c)

likes to do roleplay. he has a lot of costumes prepared for when his partner wants to do a scene with him

likes to bite and be bitten during sex. after a very long night, he’ll be covered in bite marks, it’s kinda hot

no gag reflex ;) he likes to deepthroat but good luck trying to get him to go down on you without him teasing

remember how i said he was flexible like eight times? yeah he uh, uses that a lot to his advantage. likes being fucked in weird positions because of it

the suit stays on during sex

he likes topping because he likes to be in control of everything he does all the time, but really wants to be told what to do sometimes and will let those he trusts do that for him

he has a dick piercing i know it

he's a very busy man, so he relies on his huge collection of toys he keeps in his bedroom and office

really good with his hands. as soon as those hands are on you, its game over

he loves to do it on his desk, makes him feel powerful. when he gets blown under his desk, it really takes all of his willpower to not cum immediately

really sensitive in weird places, specifically his ears

he likes to cuddle after sex, hes the little spoon :)

likes to be tied up, sometimes he’ll get tied up under his suit

mating press and riding are his favorite positions, giving and receiving

size queen, likes large toys and well ;)

has a private room that he sometimes goes to relieve stress, it has a fucking machine that he likes to use often when his job gets too stressful

he’s sucking people off at the klokateer glory hole, he’s uh, very good at what he does

likes to be spanked and like to spank

uses collars and leashes

maybe the klokateers can fuck him, if they’re good ;)

freeballing

likes cum on his face but doesn't seem to realize that means he’ll get cum on his glasses and will need to clean them

he can wear a chastity belt :) for me

likes being came in but will still complain about being gross after

pretty much up for anything, he’s not picky, he just wants to be in control and get off

#metalocalypse #charles foster offdensen

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waveypedia · 4 years ago

Text

Best Laid Plans (Often Go Awry)

AO3

If you asked Donald Duck five years ago, two years ago, six months ago, even a mere three days ago, if he ever had plans to be a single father anytime soon, the answer would be a resounding no.

Not that Donald despised the idea of becoming a dad. In fact, it was actually the opposite! He had always had a special way with children - as long as they could understand his voice - and, while he never gave much thought to it, deep in his heart he cherished the idea of settling down one day. Him, a special someone (or someones) and a gaggle of kids he could spoil and love and give the world too.

And yes, he would take them on adventures - when they were old enough, if they wanted to, when it was safe for them.

That was the plan, after all.

But then Donald learned one of the hardest lessons of all, one he had been trying to teach Uncle Scrooge and Della for ages upon ages.

Adventuring is never safe.

And all of Donald’s carefully laid plans for the future - adventurer, musician, sailor, soldier, superhero, secret agent - shattered into a million tiny pieces.

It wasn’t until Donald had wheeled the stroller of eggs into the houseboat and shut the door with a firm click that the gravity of what had just happened - what he’d done - fully set in.

He lets go of the stroller, letting it roll gently to the side. He drops his overstuffed duffel bag, letting it fall clumsily, despite its precious cargo of everything he cared to take from Scrooge’s mansion. He lets his knees give out, sliding aimlessly to the floor. Donald buries his head in his hands, the world small and grey and spinning, and forces himself to breathe, deep and even.

When he panicked on adventures, Della would always be right there, forcing him to breathe. She’d knock his shoulder with her own, rough and overly friendly, but he saw the serious look in her eyes when he spiraled.

When he was lost and grieving and aimless, after his parents’ death, and he woke up screaming their names, Scrooge was always only a couple steps away, rubbing comforting circles into his back and murmuring softly to him in Scottish Gaelic. He was a warm, comforting presence, and he’d lean into Donald wordlessly as he quietly dealt with his own grief.

Donald shoves the thoughts from his brain as swiftly as they had come. That life is over now, he tells himself shakily. Della had killed it when she aligned the controls for takeoff on the Spear of Selene. Scrooge had signed its death warrant when he brought Della’s schematics to Gyro.

Donald had made the final blow when he screamed words that would haunt both him and Scrooge for a decade and yanked the eggs out of Scrooge’s life.

He groans and scrubs his hands against his head.

Donald has always been good at plans. Della was the reckless one of the family, always rushing ahead into danger. Scrooge appreciated a good plan, but at the end of the day, he always chose Della’s adventurousness over Donald’s caution.

But here? Donald has no plan, and he had just upended his entire life.

Donald presses two fingers to each side of his beak and takes a deep breath, pulling his hands away as he exhales. He can do this.

He scrambles for a piece of paper and a pen, which are lying haphazardly around the houseboat. Just another reminder of how wholly unprepared he is to care for three curious, reckless babies - and all the work he will have to do to be prepared before they hatched.

Taking another deep breath, Donald puts pen to paper. The familiar exercise of penning out his thoughts into an achievable checklist calms and focuses him, and makes the impossibly daunting task ahead of him seem a little more achievable.

The last one would undoubtedly be the hardest, but it’s one of the most important. He needs to be able to support these three kids, and make sure they had a good and happy life.

Donald sets the paper down and turns to the three eggs, tucked safely away in the stroller.

They are his life now, his utter pride and joy. Everything he does, everything he will do, he does for them.

Donald exhales, shaky and full of nerves, and feels something settle inside of him.

Maybe he had never planned on being a parent so soon, and certainly not a single parent to Della’s triplets.

But he would be okay.

He may not be their birth father, but Selene help him if he wouldn’t be the best damn uncle the multiverse had ever seen.

Donald is a whirlwind the two weeks before the boys were born.

He has no luck nailing down a job, but maybe it’s better since he didn’t have to find a babysitter. He sells most of his old adventure gear that could be dangerous to children, bolstering his scarily low funds. He checks out every parenting book the library owns and then some. He painstakingly moves all the baby furniture and equipment (thank Jörmangandr Della bought all of this stuff so he doesn’t have to) and fixes up the room Della used to stay in into a nursery that surprisingly looks like he knows what he’s doing. He pulls multiple consecutive all-nighters and buys so much coffee he becomes a regular and befriends a waitress at the local diner.

He also calls all of his friends, no small feat in its own.

It’s good to talk to them - Donald has never been much of a social butterfly, but he’s not an introvert either, and while he’d happily forgo all human contact if it means the kids would be better off he’s been living with his enthusiastic uncle for half his childhood and then some, and his bubbly sister had been around his entire life.

It’s the first time Donald’s been alone, truly alone. He felt alone after his parents’ death, when the only life he’d ever known was upended and his new guardian Uncle Scrooge was quiet and withdrawn. But he was still there, at the end of the day, and Della was there, by his side as always.

Not anymore.

He has to break the news to all of his friends (except Donna, his old high school girlfriend, because he didn’t get there in time. She’s pissed at him, in that high-and-mighty way that she is, and she yells at him but he knows it’s partly an outlet for her grief, because she was Della’s friend too). They’re shocked, and understanding. Goofy and Donna have kids, and Mickey and José have nephews, and they offer all the support and advice they can. The rest of his friends are just as indispensable.

They keep asking him, gently, tentatively, if he’s okay. Donald always tells them he is. They always give this little hum, like they don’t quite believe him.

Some part of Donald, tucked away from the old grief of his parents, understands. But he knows what grief for a family member feels like, and this isn’t it.

He pours all his energy into making everything perfect for his Della’s kids, and buries his grief deep, deep down.

But Goofy lost his wife and Mickey lost his brother (not dead, not dead, just out of their lives), and they know what he’s dealing with. Donna is a single mother - of triplets, no less.

Goofy tries to add him to a Beakbook support group chat for parents. Donald almost leaves, because the word parent still makes him want to throw up.

He compromises, and mutes the chat. For now.

The boys’ hatching day comes, and his friends pour in from out of town. José and Panchito are on tour, but they ditch the venue they worked so hard to get, which makes Donald cry when he hears. Goofy drags his young son Max out of Spoonerville, Minnie closes her Bowtique, and Donna leaves the one-year-olds April, May, and June at home with a babysitter. Uno can’t be there physically but he talks to Donald through his phone, and Donald knows he’s watching through the security cameras Uncle Scrooge installed when he first got the houseboat to protect against theft.

It was only around seven months ago, when Della got schematics for a plane and Donald for a boat, but it feels like years. He’s a different person now.

He thinks about inviting Storkules, but decides against it. He has no way to contact the deity without alerting Scrooge or calling the media to him yet again (they’ve been hounding him ever since Della’s mysterious disappearance, but with the combined forces of famous actor Mickey and journalist Donna, and probably Beakley, quietly doing her part from McDuck Manor, they keep most of the reporters at bay.) He feels the overzealous demigod’s absence, though.

Gladstone comes too, which is a surprise. It’s been a while since he and Gladstone were close, spending their summers with Della and Fethry on Grandma’s farm. The one thing he and Scrooge always agree on is the resentment of Gladstone and his easy luck, the way he never has to work a day in his life. After two weeks of nothing but hard work (and without an actual job, no less) Donald expects Gladstone’s presence to sting more than usual. But he takes one look at the dark circles under Gladstone’s eyes and the haunted expression on his face, how he tries and fails to cover it with an easy smile and a carefree joke, and he crushes his cousin in a hug.

Gladstone stiffens, shocked, before his hands come to rest gently on Donald’s back. After the surprise wears off, he squeezes Donald right back, and for just a minute, everything feels right with the world.

Gladstone’s presence just makes Fethry’s absence hurt worse, but Donald adamantly refuses to go through Uncle Scrooge’s channels to contact him. Fethry left for the underwater lab two years ago and Donald hasn’t seen hide nor hair of him since.

(He wonders if Scrooge even had the decency to tell him his cousin is gone. Donald certainly didn’t.)

On a whim, Donald also invites one of Della’s old friends, Loopy McQuack. They were in flight school together, and Della was always dragging him to movie nights and sleepovers with Loopy, the cousins, and Gyro. He knows Della’s got more friends, but Loopy still sends him funny cat videos from time to time, so he texts her last minute, not fully intending for her to show up. She’s at his doorstep half an hour early (not that it means much, José and Panchito have been at his house since last night and Minnie and Mickey arrived three days ago). There’s an unmistakable McQuack original plane smoking at the landing site and gifts laden in her hands, and she crushes him in a hug. Donald hugs her back.

The boys hatch, and the small, ragtag group waits with baited breath. Donald, Goofy, and Minnie all have cameras poised and ready. Minnie and Mickey also take over Donald’s small kitchen for a day, and the latter bustles around with dishes made with food Donald is sure he never bought, doing his best to keep the bitter out of the bittersweet that they’re all feeling.

The first comes bright-eyed and curious. He’s methodical, the quickest of the boys on time, but he doesn’t burst out of the egg. He cracks away at it until Donald lifts him gently out and Minnie helps him wipe him dry with a red towel. He ooks up at Donald with huge, innocent eyes, seeing everything and understanding nothing, and Donald holds him close to his heart and vows to love and cherish him forever.

The second comes just after the first, not caring to wait, crashing out of his egg with force and enthusiasm. Donald’s friends laugh at his adventerousness. No one says “Just like Della” but it’s what they’re all thinking. He bursts out of his egg, leaving only scraps behind, and wiggles in Donald’s arm. He kisses the ultra-soft feathers on the kid’s tiny head and grins, his grief forgotten for one tiny second.

Donald shifts the ducklings ever so slightly in a more comfortable position as they wait for the final egg.

And wait.

Donald starts panicking within a couple minutes, and his friends do their best to soothe and comfort him. But as the minutes tick by, they stiffen, their joyous smiles turning into worried frowns, their comforts turning tight and unsure.

Gladstone had hovered near the back of the group at first, never quite comfortable with Donald’s friends. But he’d moved to stand at Donald’s side when Della’s first kid started hatching, and had thrown a comforting arm around his shoulders as the minutes ticked by. At first it was loose and casual, and Donald figured if asked later, Gladstone would deny he had comforted his cousin.

Now, as they waited and waited, Donald felt Gladstone’s arm tighten around his shoulders, for Gladstone’s benefit as much as his own.

Donna filled the silence, chattering endlessly about how long it had taken June to come out of her egg, slipping into random topics. Panchito was frowning at the clock on his phone, watching the minutes tick by worriedly.

“Forty-five minutes,” Donald says softly. It’s all he can manage. The rest of the explanation gets stuck in his throat, and not because of his unintelligible voice. His friends have always been able to decipher his meanings, scratchy voice or no.

José’s flipping through one of the parenting books Donald shoved at him when he went semi-verbal, Loopy hovering over his shoulder. He finds the passage that explains how long a duckling is supposed to remain in an egg for it to be healthy, and explains to the others. Donald hears his voice, soft but not soothing, but his words don’t process. Donald just leans on Gladstone and Minnie and holds the first two babies close to his chest and stares desperately at the final egg.

The minutes tick by. Panchito can’t stop checking the time.

I’ve come this far, Donald thinks desperately, pleadingly. I can’t lose you now!! I can’t lose someone else!!

He bites back tears, fooling no one.

At thirty-five minutes, Minnie quietly excuses herself and starts packing up some baby supplies - blankets, food, car seats - for the road. At thirty-seven minutes, Goofy tosses his car keys to Max and tells him to get the car all ready so they can rush off to the doctor’s. At forty-one minutes, Mickey goes to Donald’s landline and pulls up the number for the doctor’s office from his phonebook.

At forty-three minutes, the tiniest of cracks appears in the final egg, and everyone watches, on the edge of their seats.

Louie comes out at his own pace - slowly. He’s patient and comfortable as he crawls out of the egg. Donald passes one kid to Panchito and the other to Mickey and scoops the third into his arms, holding him close.

I almost lost you…!

José smiles at the duckling in Donald’s arms, his eyes softer than Donald has ever seen him. “Ah, he’s fine, Donal’,” his bandmate says softly, wiggling his fingers at Louie. “Just a little lazy is all.”

“Not lazy,” Donald corrects, although there’s not a speck of his famous temper behind it. He grins, both at his best friend and his nephew. “He just takes things at his own pace, I think.”

“Ah,” José nods in understanding, still beaming. José understands - he’s patient, he knows when to slow down and he’s not always moving. “He’ll be just fine,” José repeats, and Donald knows he means both in life and at this moment.

It’s in that moment, with all three boys close and his friends surrounding him, that he fully devotes himself to the life of a parent. He’s not just doing it out of an aimless sense of loyalty to Della after she’s gone, or out of an unexplainable sense of love for her kids who have no mom. He may be their uncle but these are his boys, through and through. They’re all he has, now, and he is theirs, always and forever.

“What are you gonna name them?” Goofy asks, breaking the silence.

Donald shifts the youngest duckling in his arms and reaches for his back pocket. He pulls out a folded, crumpled note, and reads the words he’s already committed to memory from studying it so much.

In Della’s beautiful, loopy handwriting, the note reads:

Donald bites back tears and tucks the note away. Della’s right - Jet, Turbo, and Rebel are distinctly adventurer names. They’re perfect for another world, where Della can raise her three sons at Uncle Scrooge’s mansion and take them on adventures before they’re walking, where they’ll have traveled the globe and traversed other dimensions by the time they’re in elementary school, where Donald remained blissfully unaware of how much it hurts when your sister is gone.

That world is not this one. Donald can’t give his boys adventurer names, because they won’t be adventurers.

Donald flips the note over and reads, in his own scrawling handwriting, the notes he took at three AM. He went on a call with Goofy and Minnie and researched name meanings and babyname.com until he had a concise conclusion.

It feels wrong, abandoning Della’s last wish for her children. But Donald can’t do it. He can’t make them adventurers, not when the pain of Della’s absence is so raw and real.

“Huebert, Dewford, and Llewelyn,” Donald replies at last. His voice is scatchy and rough (more than usual) from tears and unuse. “Huey, Dewey, and Louie for short.”

Panchito grins at him, and they both pretend he’s not crying. “Sounds great, Donal’.”

His friends are passing Huey and Dewey around, cooing at the tiny ducklings and peppering affectionate kisses on their heads. Donald sees Gladstone quickly pass Huey to Loopy and turns to his cousin, offering up Louie.

Gladstone blinks at him, and he seems so unsure and out of his element that if it were any other situation, Donald would have laughed his head off. As it stands, he merely chuckles quietly and gently deposits Louie in Gladstone’s arms.

“Are you sure?” Gladstone asks, so quietly Donald almost thinks he imagined it. But the soft look on his cousin’s face when he holds Louie is something Donald will treasure forever and tuck close to his heart, so he nods, smiling knowingly, and moves on to give Minnie a hug.

For a minute, Donald is content. His boys are here, and safe, and he is surrounded by the people he loves.

And then his grief, for Della, for the man he thought Scrooge was, for the sister and the life he and his boys lost, hits him like a train. Donald rubs a hand against his face to hide the tears, and José envelops him in a hug.

Three weeks ago, if you told Donald where he is now he wouldn’t believe you. He would laugh and call it impossible.

But when he scoops up baby Huey and the duckling makes babbling noises and grabs at his beak, he chuckles and thinks, maybe we’re gonna make it. Maybe we’re gonna be okay.

And they are okay. Donald learns quickly that, just like in an adventure, his carefully laid plans often go awry. Luckily, he’s painfully familiar with going with the flow and changing his plans on the spot.

His three boys are troublesome, a handful, but he loves them for it. He sees so much of Della in them, and Scrooge, and even Gladstone and Fethry. He sees the traits that would make them thrive on adventures and locks that knowledge away in a deep, deep corner of his brain.

He doesn’t talk to his friends much. He doesn’t have time. He loses contact with Donna, even though she lives just across town. There are no new messages in the Three Caballeros group chat. He sees posters for Mickey’s new movies more often than he sees Mickey himself.

He keeps in touch best with Goofy, only because the dog badgers him with phone calls and won’t leave him alone. Donald lets Goofy chatter on about everything and nothing over the phone as he pours over job listings and calculates how much money he’ll save by skipping meals. Goofy’s busy in Spoonerville, but he comes over as often as he can, and both he and Max are invaluable babysitters to what they’ve dubbed as HDL when they can come.

The waitress that Donald befriended during his first few weeks is named Danika, and she goes on to open her own diner that Donald brings his boys to whenever he can afford it. She’s not shy about slipping him a free meal whenever he needs it. Donald hates to accept it for himself, especially since he knows well how difficult it is to make a profit as a small business. But he’ll swallow his pride if it means the boys can fill their stomachs.

He won’t lie. It’s hard. His luck makes it near impossible for him to hold down a job, and he and the boys slip in and out of bankruptcy and poverty. It’s a difficult transition, after fifteen years of living with the richest duck in the world. But Donald is no stranger to difficulties and hard work. He skips meals, takes every job he can get his hands on, utilizes every penny-pinching trick Uncle Scrooge ever mentioned in passing.

He also gets Gladstone to babysit. A lot. Maybe more than Donald wanted; definitely more than he expected.

They’re leaning against the railing on the side of the houseboat deck one night, after Huey, Dewey, and Louie have gone to bed. Donald’s been back from his grueling job for long enough to have decompressed, but not long enough that the residual fatigue that always seems to hover over him has rescinded. Tiredness makes his eyes flutter shut every now and then, before he jerks upright, and Gladstone is watching him in that way he’s been doing lately. It almost looks like concern, until he releases a comment about luck or something or other. Maybe it’s not meant to be biting, but it is.

Gladstone brought alcohol, far too fancy to be anything Donald’s ever drunk. He doesn’t have Gladstone’s expensive taste - which is probably a blessing, given his current situation.

Donald doesn’t think he’s drunk anything since the boys were born. He can’t afford alcohol, and he’s not going to waste precious money on something that would only backfire on him, a man with a legendary temper when sober with three small and curious children in the house.

But Gladstone claims he strolled into a grocery store to buy snacks and trinkets for the boys (which he magically found a coupon for stuck to the side, of course) and a shopper had bought extra and gave a couple bottles to him. So now they’re quietly getting drunk on the deck of Donald’s houseboat, listening to the sounds of the marina and the city at night.

“Are you…” Gladstone twirls the bottle in his hand, watching the liquid swirl around inside idly. His posture is stiff and uncomfortable, which isn’t unheard of (at least for Donald), but still uncommon and a surprise to see.

Donald leans a little heavier against the railing and turns his full attention away from the waves lapping gently below to his cousin.

“Are you okay?” Gladstone finished, quiet and uncomfortable, so far out of his element. He waves a hand at the houseboat, shabby and tiny, and at Donald’s weary, exhausted state. “This is… You work so hard, D-Squared. And you get essentially nothing for it. It’s not fair.”

Donald gives Gladstone a small smile. It’s tight and uncomfortable. “I am. Really.” He snorts, wry and soft. “Finally realizing your luck gives you an unfair advantage?”

It’s not a lie. Not truly. Because Donald will happily skip meals and work long hours if it means the boys can eat and get birthday presents. Even though they should be pondering what birthday presents they’ll get, instead of if they’ll get any presents at all.

Donald sighs heavily and turns his back on the waves, leaning both his elbows on the railing. He directs his attention towards the interior part of the houseboat, where the lights are turned off to lower Donald’s electricity bill. “Life isn’t fair, Gladstone. You’re always gonna have it easier than I do.”

Gladstone purses his lips and says nothing. He stares hard at the water, dark and lit by reflections of streetlights, and Donald wonders idly what thoughts are bouncing around in his head.

They don’t speak again for the remainder of the night, while they down their bottles of too-expensive alcohol. When Gladstone leaves, Donald hugs him a little tighter than usual. He goes back into the houseboat and reads the job listings again, because even though he has a job he knows it’s tenuous and futile, and it’s always nice to have options lined up so the boys don’t have to go too long on money tighter than usual. He checks on the boys, and spots them clinging to the color-coded plushies Gladstone was laden with when he arrived. His beak quirks up in a small smile.

Gladstone is right. None of this is fair. It’s not fair that he can drop in and bring them a better gift than Donald can afford to. It’s not fair that Donald does everything and has nothing to show for it, while Gladstone does nothing and has everything to show for it. It’s not fair that the boys have to grow up without their mother, in a rickety old houseboat instead of an opulent mansion.

But Donald will be damned if he won’t run himself ragged to be the best damn father uncle he can be. They’re all he has and he’s all they have, and they’ll make it work. They always have.

The boys are ten years old when Donald’s carefully planned life once again flies off the rails.

He has a job interview, his first job since getting his online diploma, and the pay is notably higher than his usual grunt work jobs. He has an inkling of a bad feeling in his gut about it, but the hard truth is that Donald can’t afford to pass up this opportunity - literally. He doesn’t know if he’ll get another job with this kind of pay.

(In hindsight, that should have been a huge red flag. Donald’s luck is never good enough for that much money.)

But then the boys dupe their babysitter, today of all days, and Donald is running ragged from all of his jobs and night school and lack of food, and he’s panicking so hard he can’t think straight. His résumé is shoved, unstapled, ungracefully into a folder as he runs through his list of babysitters in his head.

Max is in college across the country. Goofy is visiting Mickey at his studio. Minnie has her Bowtique, still running strong. Danika is two states over, picking up her nephew for the summer. Jade, his boys’ friend Skye’s older sister, is on a college tour. He has no clue where Gladstone is. He hasn’t talked to José, Panchito, or Donna in years.

Gladstone, if you’re out there, Donald groans internally as he rushes his kids to the car, this would be a good time to have a lucky reunion.

But Gladstone doesn’t come, and that leaves only one option. An option that Donald resolutely told himself he’d never do.

But here he is, plugging in the coordinates to McDuck Manor into his car’s GPS.

He has his standoff with Scrooge, and then he leaves. He leaves his precious children (and he doesn’t know when he started thinking of them as his and not Della’s) in Scrooge’s hands, knowing full well last time he left something precious in Scrooge’s hands he got her killed. But even though every inch of his panic-induced nerves are screaming at him to turn the car around, grab his boys, and never come back, something in his gut tells him he can trust Scrooge.

Besides. He really needs this job.

Maybe an afternoon with Scrooge will teach the boys how scary and dangerous adventuring is, anyway.

Ack, who is Donald kidding. They’ll be badgering him for an adventure with dear ol’ Uncle Scrooge the moment he steps foot in the door.

He botches the interview, but he gets the job anyway, which is when alarm bells start going off in Donald’s head. Then his employer announces himself, and it’s Flintheart Glomgold, Scrooge’s old nemesis.

But he’s not Scrooge’s nephew anymore, so he goes on the Atlantis trip. One last taste of adventure, before he retires with the boys for good.

Of course it doesn’t work out. Why would it? Who gets stuck with all the bad luck, no one but Donald Duck.

Scrooge is there, and the boys are there, and they’re stuck in Atlantis, which is full of death traps. But they get out, and he takes Scrooge’s gold-plated submarine back to Duckburg. He doesn’t talk to Scrooge on the ride back, but it’s an improvement from their argument a couple days ago. He does meet Launchpad, who instantly claims him as a friend, and Webby, who instantly claims him as a dad. And he sees how well the boys get along with Launchpad and Webby, and even Scrooge, and how well they take to adventure. And he knows no one in their right mind would think to deny them their family and their happiness.

He’s not planning to move in, and the air between him and Scrooge is still frosty, but he doesn’t have much of a choice.

He doensn’t mind so much, in the end. It makes the boys happy.

Any lingering discomfort Donald has is unquestionably second to that.

Donald’s plans go right for once, but it’s still unmistakably wrong.

He had always planned to move out of the mansion as soon as he finished repairing the houseboat. He stubbornly refused to move into the mansion itself, despite living in Scrooge’s pool. His grief for his lost sister and his fury at Scrooge and the whole situation has cooled over time, softened by ten years of his amazing boys and his recent time with Scrooge, however hostile and untrusting he may be. But when the boys run to his houseboat, crying and upset, it’s still a shock.

They go back to the marina, and Donald tries his best to make it work, as always. He plans on taking the boys where they’ve always wanted to go - Cape Suzette. It’s what got them into this mess in the first place.

He can’t make his boys happy, and that hurts. The pain of losing Della, which he’s gotten used to over the decade, feels inconsequential compared to this.

While the boys stew in their grief, and Launchpad and Webby plot and scheme, Donald sits and thinks.

He’s had ten years to deal with the grief of losing Della, and losing Scrooge alongside her. It’s old news to him. But for those ten years he was resolutely, undoubtedly sure he was right, that Scrooge was to blame, that staying away would keep them safe.

He’s not so sure anymore.

It’s been six months and his boys are thriving. They love Scrooge, they love Mrs. Beakley and Duckworth and Launchpad, they love Webby like the sister she is. They love Lena, even though she was always more of Webby’s friend than theirs. They have friends in Duckburg from before the Scrooge Era too - friends in Skye and Jade and Danika and Jason.

And Scrooge loves them right back.

It’s a realization that hits Donald like a truck, even though it’s incredibly obvious to anyone else.

They love Scrooge and Scrooge loves them, and each others’ presence has both done wonders.

Family fights. It’s what they do. Donald knows this better than anyone, growing up with a sister like Della and a father uncle like Scrooge. For goodness’ sakes, he’s been fighting with Scrooge for ten years!

When Magica’s shadow army descends upon Duckburg, Donald has made up his mind. They are a family of warriors of adventurers, and they will defeat Magica de Spell and save Uncle Scrooge. Family helps family. Family loves family.

The kids make up with Uncle Scrooge before Magica is defeated, which is convenient since the houseboat is reduced to next to nothing. Donald isn’t deterred - he’s worked with worse odds and conditions before - but this time around, he’s not unhappy with his family living in the manor. This time, he doesn’t plan to leave.

Donald’s plans don’t necessarily turn on their head this last time, but his world certainly does.

For the last decade, there has been one truth that has shaped his life, even after he made up with Scrooge. Della is gone. Della is gone. Della is gone.

But now she’s back… and Donald doesn’t get to see it.

He’s stuck on the moon, except he’s not really stuck, because he’s Donald Duck and he is the storm and he’s an adventurer and a warrior. He’s been in sticky situations and hostile prisons before, and Donald rolls with the punches and attacks the odds stacked against him without a second thought.

Lunaris plans to do unspeakable things to his planet and his family, and Donald will die before he lets that madman at his home and the people he loves. And he nearly does die, and for the longest time he thinks Penumbra, his only ally, might have. He’s a little disheartened that his family never knew he was on the moon and stranded twice consecutively, but Donald’s no stranger to shoving down his selfish feelings to help his family. What really matters is that Della is back. His sister.

“I thought I lost you,” he whispers, his voice thick with tears as he crushes her in a hug as soon as they’re safe in McDuck Manor.

Della hugs him back just as tight. “I missed you too,” she replies, and he can feel something wet on his shirt when she buries her face in his shoulder.

At the beginning, Donald is a little nervous that with Della there, he’ll be shoved to the side. He may have raised Huey, Dewey, and Louie, but genetically he’s only their uncle. He commiserates with Launchpad, who’s scared with his niece back, Scrooge won’t have need of his pilot services. But their family proves them wrong, and Donald basks in the joy of having his sister back and spending every day with his four kids.

They’re Della’s kids too, and Scrooge’s, and Beakley’s, all four of them. Duckworth is distant and Launchpad is more of a big brother figure, but they’re undoubtedly part of the family too. Lena and Violet may be Sabrewings, and Boyd is a Gearloose, but they’re still Donald’s kids too. They’re family, and so are their parents.

Their family grows and grows, and it’s completely unconventional but it’s theirs and it’s perfect.

If you told Donald eleven years ago he’d be a single father to Della’s kids for a decade, he wouldn’t believe you.

If you told Donald five years ago he’d move his boys back into Scrooge’s mansion and adopt another kid in Webby, he wouldn’t believe you.

If you told Donald six months ago his sister would return, he wouldn’t believe you.

But despite the twists and turns of life, Donald is happy. His family is happy, and he is happy, not in spite of it, but because of it.

why do all of my fics end up character study style oh my god i swear this isn’t intentional sdfghgfds it’s just fun to write

okay i have like 15 open story wips and a notes doc full of ideas but i got the idea for this this morning and just worked on it on and off all day lol. i’ve been in a rut of low motivation and inspiration lately so it felt really nice to write again!!

if Gladstone seems ooc in this idk it was the alcohol and also he’s a huge lonely softie at heart don’t @ me. i’m doing a ducktales rewatch with my brother and we got to House of the Lucky Gander recently and there’s this throwaway gag at the end where Gladstone almost realizes he’s been coasting on his luck and he’s lonely, but then he gets a yacht and all development is gone. i’ve... been thinking a lot about that haha. expect a post about it later anyways.

Donna is an amalgation of Donald’s first love interest, from a short in the 1930s i think, named Donna Duck, and the fanon version of Daisy Duck from before her premiere. I wasn’t gonna include her at first, but it felt wrong to have the Mickey Squad without Daisy. But obviously Daisy couldn’t be there, because she and Donald don’t meet until Louie’s Eleven, which is ten years in the future. so, here’s Donna! You may have noticed in my headcanon she’s April, May, and June’s mother, making her Daisy’s sister. so that’ll be a fun reunion when Donald meets Daisy’s family!

I wanted to include a scene where Ty and Indy Sabrewing, Violet and Lena’s parents, are included. They were the babysitters that Donna alluded to in the beginning, since I hc April, May, and June live near Violet and Lena, and Violet knew them growing up. They were also part of that parent gc Goofy set Donald up with. That was going to come back into the story but it didn’t fit.

am kinda projecting with that scene where donald goes semiverbal so uhh Donald's autistic now cause i said so lmao

also it’s been like??? 24 hours since i last posted??? granted i’ve had that chapter of the group chat fic written since like may but still this is wild thanks for sticking with me through my wildly unscheduled posting :P (go read the group chat fic if you haven’t)

anyway hope you like it! thanks for reading! if you liked this, check out my other writing under the #my fanfic or #wavey writes tags, my ao3 analyticamethyst, or at my wattpad PurpleDragon2003 (I’m not really active there though). I also might open writing commissions soon, so if you like my writing and you’re in a position to commission me please keep an eye out for that! Thank you I love you so much <3 <3

#ducktales #ducktales 2017 #dt17 #ducktales fanfiction #wavey writes #my fanfic #donald duck #gladstone gander #dadnald #scrooge mcduck #huey duck #dewey duck #louie duck #webby vanderquack #hdl

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mimisstudy · 4 years ago

Text

Ash - character study

We are doing a new project called ‘write what you know’ which means writing a film about something that has happened to you or around you. Mine is about why people don’t report things straight away as this is something I see complained about a lot with #metoo

Ash is the main character ~17, and based on me. She lived with her dad who emotionally and sexually abused her, and then moved in with her mum when she was ~16.

this is a super long post btw

Personality

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? Pessimistic - considers herself a realist, prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

Are they introverted or extroverted? Introverted - was great at making friends as a kid but really struggles to since living with her dad.

What bad habits do they have? She keeps things to herself far too much - she wasn’t allowed to talk to her dad as he would make it about himself and so, despite not living with him anymore, she still internalises until she can’t anymore

What makes them laugh out loud? Shitty puns

How do they display affection? Giving gifts - listening to what they like and giving things related to this

How do they want to be seen by others? Smart (was always told she was smart so doesn’t want to seem dim)

How do they see themselves? An idiot, weak, a bad person. Then she moves. Smart, funny, kind, brave, creative/inventive

How are they seen by others? Funny, kind, smart, gentle

How competitive are they? Competitive with themselves, doesn’t care so much about competing with others but hates when she does something worse than she has before.

Do they make snap judgments or take time to consider? Indecisive but once set on a plan, she will do it to the max.

How do they react to praise? Struggles to, not used to it

How do they react to criticism? Also struggles as not used to it. Never really praised or crisitised, just sort of blends in

What is their greatest fear? Wasps. Being abandoned.

What are their biggest secrets? The abuse

What is their philosophy of life? Fuck it, might as well try.

When was the last time they cried? A wasp landed on her while she was on a hike and she had a panic attack

What haunts them? Her dad. she is starting to see him on the streets and in her dreams.

What are their political views? Prioritising people's safety and well-being over the economy

What will they stand up for? Equality, environment, women's rights, sexual assault

What quality do they most value in a friend? Honest / real

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? Their past, though she wouldn’t actually change it. Or make themselves more confident

What is their obsession? gardening

What are their pet peeves?

What are their idiosyncrasies? Autistic. Stampy feet flappy hands.

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? Small - Taylor (sibling), mum and dad. Lots of extended family but she has moved too much to bond with them.

What is their perception of family? Used to hate her mum but now appreciates her. Loves Taylor but weird sister relationship as they didn’t grow up together

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? Taylor, 3 years older.

Describe their best friend. Does not have any - struggles to bond with people long term

Describe their other friends. Mainly extroverted people that talk for her.

Past and Future

Did they grow up rich or poor? Not obviously poor (she wasn’t aware of it) but far from rich. Under the poverty line a few times but didn’t go to food banks

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? Felt nurturing but was rather emotionally abusive

What is the most offensive thing they ever said? ‘I would like to live with mum/dad’

What was their first kiss like? Awkward school dare - she’s not that into dating but did hook up with someone while in a depressive episode to avoid thinking

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? ‘Basically everything ever’

What are their ambitions? To help others get through what she did. set up her own music label

What advice would they give their younger self? Say no clearer

What was their childhood ambition? Be a musician

What is their best childhood memory? Camping at Tolpuddle music festival and the way the musicians interacted with the audience.

What is their worst childhood memory? The dad experience

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? No. She would talk to her blanket though.

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? No. She is aro/ace, she thinks

Are they in a relationship? No.

How do they behave in a relationship? She has only been in one proper relationship and this was a depressed escapism one - she was sleeping with her as a distraction from her life but wasn’t sexually or romantically attracted to her. she was nice to her but was mainly there for the sex - though she is terrified of insulting people so was still respectful and kind

Has your character ever been in love? No

Have they ever had their heart broken? By her family, yes

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? Disassociating - she struggles to speak and is very slow. She also stims a lot which leads to rubbing her skin raw and has many scars because of this.

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? Neither but her tongue if really having to.

What is your character’s kryptonite? Loud people/sounds

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? Her blanket that she has had since she was born

How do they perceive strangers? No one is trusted until they do something big

What do they love to hate? Sound design

What are their phobias? Wasps

What living person do they most despise? Certain political leaders and CEO’s that are fucking up the plannet

Have they ever been bullied or teased? No - they aren’t really noticed at all. Taylor used to tease her constantly though - mean, even for a sister, but they are far better together now.

Where do they go when they’re angry? To her garden plot. She has one away from the house.

Who are their enemies and why? She doesn’t pay attention to anyone enough to hate them that much.

Work, Education and Hobbies

Do they have a job? Yes

What is their current job? Editing music videos for a band that she knows from secondary

What do they think about their current job? She likes doing it but hates that she could mix the songs better than them - they wont let her change anything though

What are some of their past jobs? They worked at the sweet shop round the corner for a few months before she moved in with her mum.

What are their hobbies? Mixing, baking, minecraft, gardening

Educational background? 7+ (the new uk grading system) in all subjects at secondary. Working on a music and media course at college - predicted distinctions.

Intelligence level? Very smart but struggles understanding basic things often

Do they have a natural talent for something? Baking but she doesn’t enjoy it so doesn’t do it often.

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? Swimming - she’s good enough to not drown but mainly enjoys just floating around

What is their socioeconomic status? Working class. Her mum is slightly more well off (upper working) but both parents kept their money troubles to themselves.

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? Snakes

Which animal do they dislike the most? Wasps

What place would they most like to visit? Havana, Cuba due to all the music that has originated there.

What is their favourite song? We’re going to be friends - the white stripes

Music, art, reading preferred? Music

What is their favourite colour? Green

What is their password? Chrysanth3mum

Favourite food: Bolognese but the pasta separate.

Who is their favourite artist? The Crane Wives

Possessions

What is on their bedside table? (Kubrick was obsessed with bedside tables, he thought they spoke the truth about an individual). Three books: one on music theory, Percy Jackson but she’s barely got through it, and one on gardening. A bedside lamp. A mug. Her glasses. A spray. A hat. Sweet wrappers. A pen and pencil. Her journal, open.

What is in their bin? A years worth of receipts after she finally emptied her wallet. Seed packets. Tissues.

What is in their purse or wallet? Lots of receipts and business cards. A few bank cards. Lots of change but no notes.

What is in their pockets? Her phone and earplugs. Her jacket pockets are stuffed: rocks and shells she likes, seed packets, tissues, gloves, various bits of rubbish she has picked up, pens, a tiny notebook

What is their most treasured possession? Her hardrive

Spirituality

Do they believe in the afterlife? She hopes is doesn’t exist - the idea of still being alive after you die is horrifying

What are their religious views? She was into all the spiritual wiccan things at one point but fell out of it during her last depression spell. She still uses crystals and tarot cards though.

What do they think heaven is? Heaven is in the moments of bliss

What do they think hell is? The world we are currently living in

Are they superstitious? She thinks other things are out there and around us but she isn’t scared of that. She likes to leave apples outside for the ghosts and fae

How would they like to die? Either by her own hand (again, depressed) or drowning. Old age would also be nice.

What is their zodiac sign? Taurus

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? Not listen to them

When did they last lie? ‘No, its fine’ - when asked if they wanted to talk about what he did

What’s their view of lying? Lying is bad, it’s just really confusing. That being said, she is okay with it when you are doing so to protect yourself

When did they last make a promise? They don’t make promises

Daily life

What are their eating habits? They won’t eat things if they are in the wrong order. Eating is boring so she wont do it unless she is actually hungry. She has lots of ‘bad’ foods - tomatoes (puree is okay), cucumber, bananas, mushrooms, dates, oranges (orange juice is okay). Fizzy drinks. ARFID

Do they have any allergies? no

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? Hoarder. Everything looks like a mess but it all has a reason for being where it is.

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? Clean teeth, shower, water, food, pack bag, get dressed, clean teeth, check the lights and plugs, college.

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? Edit and then do some gardening

What do they do on a Friday night? Make pizza and play minecraft and drink

What is the soft drink of choice? She doesn’t like fizzy drinks. She will have ribeena

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? Blackberry liquor that her mum makes for social drinking. She has a habit of getting very drunk with vodka and smoking to dull her mind

Miscellaneous

Who is their hero? Elton John

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? She doesn’t celebrate halloween and instead tries to do Samhain rituals.

Are they comfortable with technology? Yes but she does tape over her camera and is always using a vpn

If they could call one person for help, who would it be? Taylor

What is their greatest regret? That they didn’t say no enough. Thinks about the butterfly effect constantly though so wouldn’t change anything in her past if she could.

What would they do if they won the lottery? Split the money between her, her sister, her mum and a little tiny bit for her dad so he doesn’t hate her. She would set up her own music label and get a farm but almost the rest of it will be for setting up charities/donating. She wants one charity for helping victims of abuse, another to go to an orphanage, and then to alazhiemers and autism charities.

What is their favourite fairytale? Snow white and rose red

Do they believe in happy endings? No

What is their idea of perfect happiness? Sat on her farm, her music playing softly in the background, many cats and goats and chickens, and a bowl of soup.

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? They would stay right where they are. Although, she would quite like to tell the guy that came up with autism to not be a sexist twat.

What sport do they excel at? They are weirdly good at golf but don’t like it as it is such an unnecessary use of green space

What sport do they suck at? Frisby

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? Invisibility or the power to change chances

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sallyface-incorrect · 5 years ago

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The Struggles of Having ADHD

- Only Being able to sleep either 2 hours or 16, there’s no in between. I am legit typing this at 3:02 am because I can’t sleep and I haven’t slept that much and it sucks. Summer is for sleeping, not for stress.

- Not being able to remember basic information about someone like their name, but being able to remember that they once told you that their great great aunt had a mole on her foot the shape of Texas. True story btw, sorry Amber.

- Feeling like your being rejected if your friend can’t make it to hang out with you because of family reasons. RSD is a bitch. Like the tiniest thing can make you feel rejected. Ie, your mom telling you not to be so loud, someone asking why your sneezes are so loud, someone asking you to return their pen, etc.

- Having your medication ware off/forgetting to take it and being the most annoying bitch in the galaxy. I once went on a school trip and my meds wore off and I ended up spending the 2 hour bus ride back annoying the guy who was trying to sleep in front of me, again, I am so sorry Max.

- IDK if it’s just me but, chewing on literally everything. Bottle caps, paper, fabric, rubber (my favorite), and much more. I used to get punished all the time for chewing on things I wasn’t supposed to. Nail biting is also a big thing. And so is hair chewing.

- Being told “You’re too smart to have ADHD”. Well Susan, I have a neurological devolpmental disorder, I’m not retarded.

- Either giving too much information or not enough when in conversation, and also bringing up really irrelevant things in the conversation like, I know we’re talking about the Louisiana Perchance but can I tell you about this one time it rained and I saw a snail?

- Being botherd by loud and/or repetitive noises. Pen clicking and high pitched sirens make me want to scream. They suckkk harder then Travis wants to suck Sal’s dick. And the worse is when people think you’re weird or that you have a problem with them for asking. I understand you like to click your pen and I’m so sorry it’s just so loud...

- Being afraid of your friends rejecting you. Again, RSD is a bitch. Like you’re afraid that one day your bestie will get up and leave and never come back and it’s all your fault and you suck and ughhhhhh. You’re also afraid their s/o / parents hate you and one day they’ll convince them to just leave you.

- Medication is a godsend but it’s also problematic. The stuff that I take fucks up my sleep schedule, my appetite, and make me tired and nauseous. It also gives me headaches and belly aches :(

- Either being so hungry that you also eat everything in your fridge or being so not hungry that even the concept of food disgust you. And sometimes, you even throw up because food is so gross and you’re gross and all that gross is inside you and eww.

- Intense, powerful migraines. They get worse in the winter months. Last year I took almost a week off of school because my migraines got worse and worse and worse and I couldn’t do it.

- Having no measurement of personal space or how to physically interact with someone. I just said hi, do I hug you, do I high five you, idk? Like idk how many potential friendships I’ve fucked up because I was too handsey.

- Being really particular about the type of clothing I wear. I love LOVE long sleeve shirts/ sweatshirts/ sweaters/ hoodies and shorts. I also love to wear socks around the house. I hate HATE wearing socks with shoes though, it makes me anxious. I also hate wearing certain types of pants. I literally only have 2 - 3 pairs of pants I’ll wear because pants sometimes feel like a tent and I hate that.

- Not being able to loose weight. I’m not fat, or chubby, I mean I have abs for God’s sake! It’s just that I have thick ass thigh I h a t e and I wish I could just get rid of them but my medication prevents me from loosing all that weight. On the bright side, I can eat a lot and not gain weight either.

- Having certain little routines you can’t skip. For example, every morning I must shave my legs and brush my hair or the world will end. I also must have all the doors and windows closed or else I’m gonna scream.

- Also idk if this is a problem for anyone else but doors and windows being open. I can’t stand it, I mean please, I don’t care that you’re just coming up for 1 thing but p l e a s e for the love of g o d, close the door that leads to upstairs. Having it open just isn’t right.

- Hyperfixiating on something for soo long that you forget to do basic hygiene like shower, use the bathroom, brush your hair, brush your teeth. It can get you in really big trouble but at least the job is done.

- Having a comfort item. Like I have this stuffed lamb whose name is “Lambchop” but I call “Lambie” and I sleep with them each and every night and carry them around the house with me when I’m home and if I’m upset I NEED to cuddle them bacuse it’s the only thing that will make the world go away.

- Being insanely good at certain academics and shitty at others. For example, when I was in 5th grade I was reading at an undergrad level and had the ability to understand science concepts a senior would be learning but my math was at the level of a second graders.

- Idk how to describe it but like, doing movements half way and the forgetting about them. Like this one time I was at a piano recital and I went to reach for something and forgot what I was reaching for so I just kinda held my hand up in a grabbing motion for half a song and then forgot about it until my mom reminded me to put it down.

- Not being able to understand that people don’t want to hear about your hyperfixiation. I’ve had 2 cases of this in my life, my “ghosts are definitely really and now this is my only personality triat” and my “I’m not a weeb but Tokyo Ghoul is so good now let me tell you all about the plot.” (Tokyo Ghoul gang REPRESENT)

- Having 3 different moods, hyperactive, normal, and cold. Like you’re normal most of the time but sometimes you’re sooo hyper that your an entirely different person, or sometimes you’re sooo distant you’re a different person too.

- Not being able to identify your emotions very well. Like, this guy just told me that my dad and my bestie are asshole who deserve to die in a fire, what am I feeling? Am I sad? Angry? Scared? Do I think this is funny? Am I gonna laugh? Cry? Idk, throw hands? Or the dreaded crush. Do I have feelings for this person or do I just want to be really good friends? Do I hate them? Love them? Am I gonna cry the next time I see them? Last time we hung out was fun but idk???

- Also like I mentioned, romance/sexuality is hard. Last time I dated I dated this guy I really liked, or at least I thought I did. We dated for three months before I blew it off because he asked to put his arm around me and it was weird when I said yes. Also sexuality. Idk if this is a problem for anyone else or just my bisexual ass. Like it’s so hard and I really like guys but hey, girls are hot. And like I like guys more than girls?? Sometime it makes me feel really fake.

- Really enhanced weird hearing. I know at least 80% of my classes drama because I have superhearing and I’m a literal hearing god bow down, bitch. I can hear the smallest of sounds and such, but for some goddamn reason I can’t understand how loud I’m being.

- Extestensial nihilism and just being cool about it. Like, dude, idk if there’s a god out there? I’d like to think there’s some sort of Devine power and we have a purpose but idk, we probably don’t have a purpose. I mean, we’ll be forgotten after we die anyway unless we’re Tom Holland. And love probably doesn’t exist either and it’s only stigmatized by movies and books and media and we’re all gonna get married and be miserable for ever and such. But like does it really even matter? In the end we’re all alone so go off I guess.

- Being really sensitive to smell. Certain smells drive me through the roof. For example, I have an extreme fish allergy and even smelling the slightest hint a salmon can give me a migraine so intense I think I’m dying. Or essential oils. Ughh I hate those. They send me through the roof.

- Being able to remember something you heard in a YouTube video you watched back when you were nine but not being able to remember when you birthday is some days because it really be like that.

- Being really good with little kids. Idk if everyone is like this but I am very childish myself and little kids love me. I have at least 3 little boys in 1st - 3rd grade who think I’m their girlfriend and 8 little girls in kindergarten - 5th grade who think I’m their big sister, it’s really sweet.

- Always apologizing is a big thing for me. When I was a child I used to get in trouble for saying sorry when I did anything and that carried to teen hood. Last year at my dance class my teacher noticed this and tried to help me break my habit god bless you Christine.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk bois. ADHD sucks but I know you can do it👌🏻

#aaa i know this doesn’t fit this blog’s aesthetic #i just felt like making it #sorry guys #not a quote #adhd #add #adhd rsd #adhd inattentive #adhd awareness #tw mental health #mental health

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buzzdixonwriter · 5 years ago

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Hoo Noo Shmoo?

Never let it be said that this blog is flagging in its enthusiasm for flogging horses so dead they’re found in the glue bin at Office Max.

To whit, the Scorsese vs MCU brouhaha.

Bottom line: Scorsese is right. As well made as MCU movies are, they ain’t cinema, they’re glorified commercials to sell MCU product.

Full disclosure: I should know, since I wrote for G.I. Joe, Transformers, and a host of other toy-based syndicated animation shows. I’m happy with the work I did, I can point proudly to specific episodes I wrote that aspire to be more than mere half-hour commercials…

…but they ain’t art.

They ain’t art, despite our aspirations to do the best job we could, because ultimately we creators were not allowed to create what we felt best for our stories, but what Hasbro deemed vital to their sales.

(The closest we got to art was when Hasbro cancelled The Inhumanoids toy line in mid-production of the TV series, and said we could finish our broadcast commitment however we saw fit so long as it didn’t result in an FCC complaint. As a result, we went nuts.)

My Hasbro / Sunbow experience remains a highpoint of my creative life, so I’m not denigrating the talent, skill, ability, spirit, and enthusiasm of those making MCU movies.

…but they ain’t art.

Now, those who love MCU movies think Scorsese’s comments are a slam against them.

Welllll…no, not directly.

But they do underscore how popularity -- especially of media designed to push product -- is a faulty measuring stick for artistic merit.

Case in point: The Shmoo.

Wuzza shmoo, you ask (and thus proving my point)?

Shmoos were extremely popular in the late 1940s. Part of the wonderfully wacky world cartoonist Al Capp created for his hit Li’l Abner comic strip, shmoos represented a parable on American consumerism, modern day geese laying not mere golden eggs but birthday cakes with candles a’blazin’.

As Capp described them:

They reproduce asexually and are incredibly prolific, multiplying faster than rabbits. They require no sustenance other than air.

Shmoos are delicious to eat, and are eager to be eaten. If a human looks at one hungrily, it will happily immolate itself -- either by jumping into a frying pan, after which they taste like chicken, or into a broiling pan, after which they taste like steak. When roasted they taste like pork, and when baked they taste like catfish. Raw, they taste like oysters on the half-shell.

They also produce eggs (neatly packaged), milk (bottled, grade-A), and butter -- no churning required. Their pelts make perfect boot leather or house timbers, depending on how thick one slices them.

They have no bones, so there's absolutely no waste. Their eyes make the best suspender buttons, and their whiskers make perfect toothpicks. In short, they are simply the perfect ideal of a subsistence agricultural herd animal.

Naturally gentle, they require minimal care and are ideal playmates for young children. The frolicking of shmoos is so entertaining (such as their staged "shmoosical comedies") that people no longer feel the need to watch television or go to the movies.

Some of the more tasty varieties of shmoo are more difficult to catch, however. Usually shmoo hunters, now a sport in some parts of the country, use a paper bag, flashlight, and stick to capture their shmoos. At night the light stuns them, then they may be whacked in the head with the stick and put in the bag for frying up later on.

Of course, in the original strip continuity, the shmoos were quickly eradicated, driven to extinction by food packagers who feared bankruptcy.

It was a sharp, biting message, and one that looked critically at both insatiable consumerism and capitalism’s claims of superiority.

Capp, of course, was too savvy a marketeer himself to eliminate the shmoos entirely, and so he provided for one breeding pair to survive…and for the shmoos to make repeated appearances for the rest of Li’l Abner’s run.

Shmoo mania ran rampant with shmoo dolls, shmoo clocks, shmoo games, shmoo candy, shmoo snacks, and shmoo apparel.

The money truck basically backed up to Capp’s front door and dumped its load on his porch. Shmoos proved insanely popular and it seemed the mania would never end…

…except it did.

To mangle metaphors, you can only take so many trips to the same well before your audience starts asking “What? Beans again?”

And then, in a fickle flash, it’s over.

I’d be hard pressed today to find anyone younger than the boomer cohort who ever heard of Al Capp or Li’l Abner unless their school or community theatre presented the Broadway musical adaptation of the strip (the show remains popular with amateur theatrical troupes such as high schools and colleges because the huge cast of Dogpatch citizens guarantees everybody who tries out for the show will land some part in it).

For all their popularity and merchandise and media impact -- songs on the radio, big spreads in weekly news magazines -- the shmoos left virtually no cultural footprint.

(Full disclosure yet again: I wrote for a Scooby-doo knock-off by Hanna-Barbera called The New Shmoo and it was a piece of crap, abandoning the whole consumerism point of the original shmoos and making them -- or just “it” in our case -- a pseudo-funny dog sidekick for a squad of mystery solving kids. And it wasn’t a piece of crap because we didn’t try our best, it was a piece of crap because the shmoo was treated as ubiquitous “product” under the misconception that of course everybody younger than Joe Barbera would recognize the name and love the character so deeply that they’d simultaneously develop amnesia about what made the original character so appealing.)

Product.

That’s what one of the most brilliant, most poignant, most spot-on commentaries on rampant consumerism and ruthless capitalism ironically reduced down to. Product.

There’s a line in Jurassic Park that resonates here: ”Life will find a way.”

Let’s paraphrase that to “Art will find a way” because like life, art is an expression of the creative urge.

Right now, by and large, it’s trapped in the giant all encompassing condom of corporate consumerism, providing fun and pleasure and excitement, but not really creating anything new, to be wadded up and thrown away when the suits are done screwing us.

But every now and then there’s a tiny pinprick in the sheath, and when that happens there’s the chance of something wonderful, something meaningful, something of lasting value emerging.

It is possible for art to emerge from a corporate context, but only if the corporate intent is to produce a work of art for its own purposes. Michelangelo carved David as a work for hire, the local doge commissioning the sculpture because he wanted to impress peers and peasants by donating the biggest statue ever made by the hottest artist of the era (and even then Michelangelo needed to resort to subterfuge to keep the doge from “improving” on his work with “suggestions” [read “commands”].)

The very first Rocky movie was a work of art because the producers focused on telling a simple, singular story about a loser who could only win by going the distance, not by defeating his opponent but by refusing to be beaten by him.

It’s a great cinematic moment that rings true and it’s going to last forever…unlike sequels Rocky II - V where Rocky fights supervillains like Mr. T and a robot (hey, that was the movie playing in my head when I watched Rocky IV and it was a helluva lot more entertaining than what I actually saw onscreen).

The suits castrated Rocky, reducing him from a unique universal cultural touchstone down to…well…product.

The MCU movies are product; rather, they are two-hour+ commercials to sell product in the form of videogames, action figures, T-shirts, and Underoos.

The real art occurred almost 60 years ago when Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko knocked out page after page as fast as they could, drawing deep from the wellsprings of their own interests, experiences, and passions.

(“What about Stan?” I hear you ask. Look, we all love Stan, but truth be told his great contribution to the MCU came in his service as drum major for the Merry Marvel marching Society. God bless him for firing up the fan base’s enthusiasm for the Marvel bullpen’s work, but compare what his artists did before and after their collaboration with him to what he did before and after his editorial tenure at Marvel and it’s clear upon whose shoulders the muses rested.)

As much fun as MCU movies are (I’ve seen about 1/3 of ‘em and enjoyed most of what I saw), I also recognize in them the harm they do.

They are promoted heavily to sell product to raise the fortunes of one of the biggest corporations on the planet, a corporation that holds control over five of the largest, most popular entertainment brands on the market.

To protect their cash cows, Disney chokes potential rivals in their cribs.

Think there’s going to be another Alien or Predator movie now that Disney owns them and Star Wars? Why create rivals to a mega-successful property you already own? (I will be genuinely surprised if we see another Guardians Of The Galaxy movie in light of the faltering popularity of Star Wars in Disney’s eyes; they’re going to want to shore up their billion dollar investment rather than call it a day and let some upstart -- even an upstart they own 100% -- rob them of revenue.)

Disney’s battle plan to choke out all potential rivals leaves no room in the DEU (Disney Expanded Universe) for independent minded creators.

They want competent hired pens who can churn out the product they desire in order to bolster sales of other products derived from those.

(Even more full disclosure: I wrote for Chip ‘n’ Dale’s Rescue Rangers as well as some Aladdin and Scrooge McDuck comic book stories.)

Disney’s MCU, for all its expertly executed whiz-bang, is a bloated, soulless zombie, a giant gaudy inflated parade balloon blocking the vision of others.

There’s a scene in the movie The Founder -- a genuine cinematic work of art that comments ironically on the selling of a product -- that applies here.

Ray Kroc (Michael Keaton) relentlessly browbeats the McDonald brothers (Nick Offerman and John Carroll Lynch) into letting him replace their real milkshakes with what will come to be known as the McShake, an ersatz product that at best reminds one of what a real milkshake should taste like.

The McDonald Brothers are horrified. Not only does it not taste like a real milkshake, but it goes against the very grain of what they desire as restauranteurs: To provide quality food quickly for their customers, trading value for value.

Kroc will have none of this. To him the customers are simply one more obstacle between him and their money.

He doesn’t see them as the source of his revenue, but as impediments to same.

What benefits them, what nurtures their diets, what gives them pleasure, what trades value for value is completely unimportant to him.

They exist only to make him rich and powerful.

By the end of the film, Kroc has effectively declared war on his own partners, his own employees, his own customers. He recognizes he is not in the business his customers and employees and partners think he’s in (i.e., fast food) but rather in the real estate business, buying land that McDonald’s franchises must lease from him in order to operate.

By the end, he’s not concerned with how well his customers eat, or how well his employees are treated, or how financially secure his franchise managers feel.

By the end, all he wants is the money, and he doesn’t care how his franchises make it so long as they pass it along to him.

As a result, McDonald’s contributes heavily to America’s obesity and diabetes epidemics, advising their employees to take second jobs so they can afford to continue working for them at substandard wages.

Disney’s MCU is a super-sized Happy Meal™ that’s ruining the cultural health of its consumers.

#Marvel #Disn #Jack Kirby #Stan Lee #Steve Ditko #Star Wars #MCU #Rocky #Martin Scorsese #media #movies #superheroes

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ddonggeun · 6 years ago

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Hey! So I’m suspecting if I got adhd/add but is there any symptom idk. It’s really exp here to get it diagnosed

sorry it took me a while to get back to you because honestly i dont know whats a good alternative for you can be so i guess i can share my own experience?

first of all i think googling symptoms and types of adhd and reading peoples account on how adhd/add manifest is a good start? my doctor and the reddit /r/adhd REALLY help me to accept myself (which is the first step i think) but the way i get diagnosis (i am adhd with predominately inattentiveness - but at the same time i have depressions and dyslexia which is like a killer combo 10/10 would never rec) is that i came across with an article a couple months about how girls with adhd are more likely to be (mis)diagnosed with depression and it basically fucks up multiple generations because they cant get the help they need and i was like wait whats describe in it sounds kind of like me but at the same time i have always been very lethargic and rather well behaved in class growing up i am nothing like what you would typically associate with adhd (you know the hyper-activeness) so during my next visit to the doctor (im getting treatment for my depression) i mention to the article to her and she said wait you know what describe how you feel in a classroom setting growing up and is there anything you do that teachers complain about repeatedly and tell me how studying and doing homework is like to you and so i did (i can go further into details of my life since a lot contributes to why i only get diagnosis when im 21… let me know if you would like to know i guess?)

my doctor (who just so happens to be an adhd specialist and is quite active in the research area i didnt know before then we stan forever i love her really she is so encouraging and so good at her job) took some notes as i was talking and after im done she said you know what i think you might be onto something but i cant be sure yet (since i have depression and dyslexia which both overlaps quite a lot with adhd/add) why dont i first explain to you what adhd is and i’ll give you the set of official diagnosis questions you dont have to do it just take a look at it first do some research organize your thought talk to your parents about it and if you think getting a test on it is something you want we can set up another appointment and we can go from there - which is really really nice because adhd has always been a taboo at least with my upbringing it makes you a loser socially academically and you know just in general its not something you will want to have….

in hind sight there are SO MANY SIGNS even in early childhood how come no one notice i dont know prolly because i grew up in the 00s if you are different you need to kys lmao rip:

trouble paying attention in school or work,

the appearance of not listening - although im an audio learner funny enough

avoidance of activities that require sustained focus,

being easily distracted

restlessness

fidgeting and cant sit properly - i shake my legs or click my pen so much especially when im thinking or anxious lmao, i got into trouble a lot when i was younger because i only sit in my seat facnig the teacher 5 mins max at at ime then i move around or i move the chair around i think better when i cross my legs but i went to a uniform school and i always make my skirt too short so you know

interrupting - if i dont say what comes to mind when it comes to mind, the thought is gone forever

frequent talking and talking way too fast - i get the exact same comment every single report day class from when i was 4 till i graduated high school im not even kidding “she has excellent comprehension skill and reading speed. it would be great if parents can help her out a bit in maths or chemistry. she has a lot of potential if she applies herself, she seems distracted although when we ask her questions she can answer. very helpful and bubbly and yet she talks too much in class. she is not disruptive and her seatmate never complains but she just doesnt stop talking. we have been pairing her up with quiet students in class in the hopes that she will talk less in class but she just turn the quiet student talkative”

trying to do multiple things at once - i cant do one thing at a time, even when im say writing a paper i need to be listening to music or talking to someone if not switching between tabs or word files

mood swings

hyperfocus - oh boy oh boy oh boy

impulsiveness - i dont know if i get better as i age or is it getting worse i just know how to clean up my mess lmaooooo

poor time management - although i would say ever since i start listening to stuff 24/7 it really helps build a sense of the passage of time or whatever? its like now i know ok by the time i get to the third song in the shower i need to be washing out my conditioner; or say i need to go somewhere in 40 mins which is really abstract to me i set timers and put on a show thats 35ish mins even tho im not watching it just so im aware of time is actually happening if it makes sense

fail to follow through - i start things and once i have it figure out in my head i struggle to put it down in words or explain it to others i work well with other adhd peps tho

doesnt follow instruction and only do stuff their way

burnout - this is the worst especially if you are a perfectionist or a control freak and guess who is both

trouble coping with stress -

i luck out because im canadian and my doctor (in my schools clinic) just so happens to be a specialist who is very passionate about helping undergrads and grad school students to achieve as much as they can - so doctor and diagnosis for me is free. i do have to pay for my medications out of my pocket for a bit since im on vyvanse (to treat both my adhd and depression-lead anxiety its complicated but it makes sense when my doctor explained it to me lol) and this drug isnt covered by Pharmacare (CAD $130ish for 3 weeks worth of 30mg, im mostly on 30mg but on days when i dont have work on stuff or go to school i take 20mg just so my anxiety dont cause me to explode lmao) and very expensive but recently my doctor and i have agreed that vyvanse really work for me and it is something that i should be on daily for the foreseeable future we applied for special authorization which means i only gotta pay the tax… of course medicating isnt a must but it is what works for me and we figure out a way to make it affordable so i cant be more happy about that

at the same time i work with my psychiatrist to you know configure the whole adhd thing cause you know 21 years of repressing and forcing your feet into a shoes that not even your size frick you up thats something people dont tell you 🤷🏻‍♀️

what my doctor said to me then stuck with me - she told me adhd or add really is no monster or flaw in fact it is a very valuable set of traits we inherit from our ancestor - we hate it now because modern society render these skills useless well you see adhd isnt all about the hyperactiveness you see in the media people with adhd are extra sensitive to their surrounding and prefer hands on experiences (today we call them distracted) they are always aware of the change around them and is capable to attend to a couple things at a time and act fast because their brains are always making sense of things even when they arent consciously doing it. in todays society we dont want these kind of people why? because they ask questions they are curious people who notice trivial stuff that dont contribute to productivity they cant sit still which makes them not the ideal factor workers or pupils BUT! you have to remember that industrialization started like a century ish ago before that our ancestors live in predominately tribal society - adhd people then are the perfect caretakers and protectors, why? because they are always noticing things they adapt and react fast… so yeah it kinda suck for us growing up in a system thats designed to be everything we are and it is something that need to be changed but for those of us who “made it out alive” especially people who only get diagnosed in adulthood more often than not they look back and realize they have developed so many incredible ways to cope to make things work - are they always the perfect way? are they always health? no definitely no but at the same time it shows you how incredible these people are they make things work yes things are really hard sometimes but you got to give yourself a pet in the shoulder for not giving up… with the help of science and research we now know a little more about how adhd affect people we now have medication and programs developed to help people with adhd - they arent to dumb you down or numb you but instead it helps you to focus better so you can actually hear your entire thought and not just phrases or sentence fragments

#i rambled but i hope my personal experience give u a slight idea of how adhd/add manifest in others? but like i said medicating is not the #only way i think talking to people with similar experiences is helpful too even tho they might not be able to offer you professional medical #advices not feeling alone or that you are a weirdo is so important people talk a lot of about how poor self image among adhd ppls are common #and i think the social pressure is def one of the things that make it worse #i dont know where you are but if you are still in school #i guess talking to a trusted teacher or like social worker would be a good start they might be able to point you to more local and accessibl #resources.... and i mean you can always talk to me im very new to the whole actively combating adhd and not just cope with it but you know #sometimes you just need someone to hear you rant about stuff and im always here... i might not be able to reply fast since im in my last #semester 😳 and school is killing me lmao but ill try to response as soon as i see it :)))#ask #anon

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junker-town · 5 years ago

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The winners and losers from World Series Game 2 — the Nationals might do this?!

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

The Washington Nationals look really really good right now.

World Series Game 2 was quite the wild ride. A series that was touted as an elite pitching match-up has devolved swiftly into chaos for the Houston Astros’ vaunted starting rotation. And somehow, despite the Nationals having the most questionable bullpen in the postseason this year, it was Houston’s pen that got rung up again and again last night.

Let’s take a look at the winners and losers of last night’s game.

Winners

Kurt Suzuki

Sure, Kurt Suzuki’s home run in the seventh inning was only the start of the rally that ultimately took place, but it was the most important part. It was the winning run, after all, as the Astros never scored again. It makes Suzuki the first player born in Hawaii to hit a home run in a World Series game. And the first catcher to hit a go-ahead home run in the World Series since Buster Posey in his 2012 MVP season. A home run that he hit off of Max Scherzer, because baseball is funny like that.

Adam Eaton and the friends we’ve made along the way

I’m sure there will be grumps out there complaining about the Nationals’ dugout celebrations last night, but you keep that to yourself. The Nationals’ celebrations were delightful and Adam Eaton might just be my new favorite player. This was the dugout celebration after his home run to give the Nationals a 10-2 lead in the eighth

The Nationals are a treasure and I... think I love them? pic.twitter.com/yY5g9wDHrK

— Bill Baer (@Baer_Bill) October 24, 2019

I mean, seriously, what is there not to love about this group?

Look at these adorable bastards pic.twitter.com/XGof4ZbWU2

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) October 24, 2019

Fernando Rodney

Let’s be honest, if all had gone according to plan for both teams, we would have been unlikely to ever see Fernando Rodney in this series. That’s not a knock on Rodney, per se, more that the Nationals don’t tend to use anyone in their bullpen not named Hudson or Doolittle unless it’s a blowout, and no one was expecting a Nats blowout in either of these first games in Houston, against their top two starters.

But that doesn’t take away from what Rodney accomplished tonight. Not only did he pitch a scoreless seventh inning, he also became the fourth player ever to play in every single round of the postseason in both leagues, joining the company of Jon Lester, Carlos Beltran and Ben Zobrist.

Simone Biles

Her ceremonial first pitch speaks for itself:

@USAGym legend @Simone_Biles has changed the first pitch game forever! pic.twitter.com/WU7Fj60yWC

— FOX Sports (@FOXSports) October 24, 2019

Losers

Justin Verlander

Despite breaking the record for the most career postseason strikeouts, Verlander got the loss in tonight’s game, continuing his run of six losses (and a no-decision) in World Series starts. As the kids say, you hate to see it.

To add insult to injury, or maybe that should be the other way around, Verlander attempted to field an infield single and madean excellent barehanded grab ... before this happened:

FAQ: How did Ryan Zimmerman reach on an infield hit? A: pic.twitter.com/bNDTr9tmZ6

— Roger Cormier (@yayroger) October 24, 2019

As if that weren’t bad enough, thanks to Verlander’s history of trash-talk on social media, Yu Darvish served up some long awaited revenge against him after the play:

YESSSS pic.twitter.com/ULq2ZuMIDV

— Daniel Brim (@DanielBrim) October 24, 2019

To be fair to Verlander, he wasn’t exactly terrible in this game. He pitched about as well as Stephen Strasburg, minus the home run and walk in the seventh inning. I would even be inclined to say that it was just another case of a manager leaving their starter in an inning too long, except for the disaster that continued to unfold when Ryan Pressly took the mound in relief of him.

One thing to note, something that many people will be speculating about after this game, is the fact that the Astros removed Verlander’s preferred catcher Robinson Chirinos to bat Kyle Tucker in the sixth, right before Verlander gave up the home run and walk that led off the disastrous seventh inning. It’s hard to say that it was the difference maker, but it was the first time Verlander had thrown to anyone else this season.

Alex Bregman

The sad part is that Bregman actually started on the other side of this list. After going 3-for-18 in the ALCS, and 0-for-4 last night, I think that everyone watching his two-run first inning home run yelled “He needed that!” in unison.

Unfortunately for Bregman, Pressly, Verlander and the entire city of Houston, the baseball gods can be just as cruel as they are kind. The fact that he only got scored for one error in the seventh inning was an act of mercy by the official scorekeeper.

With the bases loaded for Howie Kendrick, he got a single that was bobbled not once but twice by Bregman, allowing Verlander’s fourth run to cross the plate, in the form of Victor Robles (who reached on a walk). What’s funny is that the bases loaded by the Astros issuing their first intentional walk of the entire calendar year, to Juan Soto, thinking they were playing it safe (since they had two outs). Not so much.

Two batters later, Ryan Zimmerman hit a slow ground ball to Bregman, who made the catch but then threw the ball away past a frantic Yuli Gurriel, who hustled to save it, but two runs scored and Zimmerman reached second on the throwing error.

Not a great night or week for anyone from Houston not named Simone Biles, but the series is still young and moves to Washington on Friday where the Astros will be hoping for a little payback for the home games stolen from them.

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davidcampiti · 6 years ago

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A LIFE WITHOUT STAN LEE? -- Part Two

Ever wonder what it must have been like to BE Stan Lee over the past decade or two as the Marvel movies soared to prominence?

At 90 years old, he was still vibrant and funny and in good health, and he seemed to be having the time of his life just BEING Stan Lee. His final couple of years, with his wife Joan’s passing and so much behind-the-scenes wrangling to control his assets and access, were an embarrassment of greed from so many.

His detractors spoke of karma, of freelancers who worked with him and did not fare as well as he did as Marvel's editor-in-chief and icon/corporate spokesman, either in credit or financially. His biggest mistakes and, perhaps, regrets were there for the world to see.

And he had to sue Marvel for the $10 million in movie merchandise royalties he was contractually guaranteed. Wait, what?

Yup, even Smilin’ Stan had some bumpy rides.

Remember when I mentioned first meeting him in '78? Stan reviewed my friend Scott's artwork, dated and autographed the backs of his pages and paintings "to prove I saw these," and recommended that Scott submit his work to Marvel. Scott did so. Marvel's editor at the time rejected the submission outright with a terse note, "Stan has no power here."

That was a bit sobering. I stumbled over that sour sentiment a number of times across the decades.

Probably the oddest example? One day in the ‘90s, Stan Lee called me to say that Marvel asked him to write The Hulk vs. Superman cross-over one-shot, and he wanted to work on it with artist Mike Deodato, Jr. "Can Mike draw from a loose outline? You know how I like to work." I explained to him that the Brazil-based Deodato -- who was still learning English at the time -- didn't see himself as a writer and preferred to work from a page-by-page, panel by panel plot, if not a full script. "What if you and I talk out the idea, Stan?" I suggested. "I can then develop it into the full plot that Mike can work from, you review it, and he draws it from there?" "That'd be great, Dave! We've been talking about working together for awhile now. Let me give you the editor's name and number at Marvel. Tell him Mike's available to start, and we can get to work."

I called the editor and left a message. Then another. Nothing....although Stan and I had several quick conversations about it over the next few weeks. Finally, Stan called me again to ask if I've heard anything from the editor. "Nothing yet, Stan," I told him. "Fortunately, Mike Deodato has other work keeping him busy, but I don't want him to lose this opportunity." "O.K.," Stan replied. "Call them again today and let me know as soon as you hear anything."

Five more messages, an Email or two, and I forget how many days later, the editor finally called me back. "You must've misunderstood," the editor said, condescension in his voice. "Stan didn't mean to say he wanted Mike Deodato for The Hulk vs. Superman. He meant, in general, that he'd like to work with Deodato some day on something like that. You must've misunderstood." So I explained that I couldn't have misunderstood and, grabbing my notes, I began to quote Stan's exact words. The editor interrupted, "No, you must've misunderstood." And he hung up.

So I called Stan's office, and his assistant gave me Stan's cell number. Stan was in his car when I recounted that conversation with the editor. "What? I didn't 'misunderstand,'" said Stan, in a voice that went cold. "I'm going to Marvel in two days, and we are going to talk about a lot of things." He sounded sick of this. "Call me at Marvel's offices in the afternoon."

So I did. The gal who answered at Marvel told me, "Stan is still in his meeting. I can hear him yelling. I'll tell him you called like he asked." A few days later, Stan called me back, sorry that Deodato and I had been treated that way by Marvel. I sighed and said, "Well, I'm surprised and sorry they treated you that way, Stan." "Ahh, don't worry," he answered. "I'm fine." I later heard that this may have been the same visit to Marvel where Stan's contract got re-negotiated for a million bucks a year, an assistant and driver and he would only be responsible to Marvel for one day per week and could launch his own ventures. Soon he launched Stan Lee Media and, later, POW! Entertainment; Mike Deodato moved to DC and Dark Horse and Chaos! before spending the next decade back exclusively at Marvel, and The Hulk vs. Superman was eventually published with a very talented, very different creative team.

For Christmas that year, Mike Deodato created a drawing of The Hulk vs. Superman, and we gave the original art to Stan to commemorate the book that almost happened.

Stan has always put on a great face for the comics biz, endlessly energetic and upbeat about its potential. He's even been its apologist at times, such as when a comic book store owner, writing in CBG, demanded that Marvel apologize for destroying the direct sales market with its '90s era machinations and hurting his business -- and Stan called that store to apologize.

I remember walking down a Convention aisle at normal speed, and Stan and Max Anderson cut around me, one on each side, walking at twice my speed and out of sight before I knew it -- Stan being 88 at the time. I mentioned my surprised to Max the next day, and Max told me, "Stan saw me drinking a Red Bull, asked me what it was, and I told him it was to boost my energy. Stan said he ought to drink a few, and I said, 'NO! I drink these to keep up with you!'" We both chuckled over that.

So a few years later, I was certainly pleased to greet Stan at New York Comic Con so soon after his pacemaker was put in, walking and talking as fast as ever. It was amazing to see people crowding the aisles just to get a glimpse of him.

HIs life had certainly become meta, with a Fake Stan Lee on the payroll (I think) running around Conventions doing a riff on the '80s version of Stan. It certainly was fun for me to pose with the fake Stan Lee while holding a picture I'd just taken with the real Stan Lee.

Because of my decades of working with artists and teaching Creating Comics Seminars all over the world, Stan was happy that I accepted the assignment to write Stan Lee's How to Draw Comics based on those Seminars.

I wrote, assigned new art, and produced the entire 228-page book over a three-week span in the Philippines over Christmas. Stan reviewed the chapters, writing back comments like, "This is grrreeeeat!" and taking time at the end to send me a note about how well he thought it turned out.

He seemed quite pleased with what I did with it. And to his credit, even on a late-night talk show interview, he never claimed that he wrote it.

Tina Francisco, Katrina Mae Hao, and I came up with a whole pile of Stan caricatures for that book that didn't get used! I hope to put them to good use someday.

Oddly, nobody told Stan how well the Stan Lee's How to Draw Comics book was selling. He wrote me --

I had to admit nobody told me how it was selling, either. (I later picked up copies of the book in Italian, so that was interesting!)

When Stan remembered that I was in the process of writing a How To Create Comics book under my own name, he wrote me a terse --

So I have his intro in my files. I need to finish that book, and you know who I'll dedicate it.

Later on, I ghosted some introductions for Stan, on such books as JAPAN NEEDS HEROES.

I found it funny -- the editor of the JAPAN NEEDS HEROES book inserted two paragraphs of his own text into my introduction; not knowing someone else had penned them, Stan deleted those paragraphs entirely because they seemed unnecessary and simply didn't sound like him. Stan ended up changing just one word of mine, "harried" to "hassled," and the intro ran otherwise as I wrote it. I later found that editor claiming, to anyone who would listen, that HE wrote that intro.

Just experiencing him BEING Stan Lee could be an inspiration, a learning experience.

Most telling might be a several years back when my sister-in-law's baby died in the hospital at only a month old, and Stan Lee was the FIRST person to contribute to a fund launched to help her with expenses. What’s more, he wrote her about how he and his wife had lost a child in childbirth, so they both understood her pain.

Or how about this one? It’s a Saturday in 2009 at Pittsburgh ComiCon, and something had gone wrong. Since we’d worked with Stan Lee on Who Wants To Be a Superhero? for his POW! Entertainment and we were about to start work on Stan Lee's How To Draw Comics, Stan suggested that I ask the Con to schedule us together for a few minutes, since he was booked wall-to-wall. The scheduled Friday night meet-up I’d arranged with the Con's owner for some reason didn’t happen. And by Saturday afternoon, it appeared as though Stan would finish his meet-and-greets upstairs in the Green Room, wrap his autograph session, and be whisked away two hours later for the airport without me saying so much as “Hello.”

Then: From our Glass House Graphics booth on the convention floor, my wife saw the Green Room door open at the top of the stairs, and she nudged me in its direction. “Go there!” she said. I did so, and she followed with our daughter Jasmine in tow and my photographer friend Paul Brittain right behind. Down came a couple of Security, then Stan, then the Con people. As Stan hit the bottom stairs, I stepped out, extending my hand. “Stan! David Campiti, Glass House Graphics!”

He looked up and, in true Stan Lee fashion, his face lit up while shaking my hand firmly. “Dave! Glad you made it! I was hoping to see you!”

The security guard stepped in to push me away. “Ya gotta go, keep moving.”

Throwing his arms wide, Stan said, “Wait — Dave’s a friend!” The guard glared at me, looked at Stan, back at me, then waved. “C’mon, then.”

Stan put his arm around my shoulder as we walked — briskly — toward his signing area in the next room. “Sorry it’s so crazy. How ya been?” he asked.

“We’re doing well. Glad you could spare me a moment, Stan,” I replied. “My artist Fabio Laguna and I did this up to give you, a nod to Disney buying Marvel.” The yellow package contained a 13” x 19” color print, a cartoon depicting Walt Disney wearing a Thor hat and costume and Stan Lee wearing a Mickey Mouse hat and costume, with a Disney logo emblazoned atop Marvel’s own logo. “This is CUTE!” he said. “Can I have this?”

“Of course!” I said. “There’s two of them. One signed by Fabio and me, and a smaller one unsigned. Hey, can we get a picture?”

“SURE!” Stan said. As we stopped in our tracks so Paul could take a shot, Stan turned to my wife. “Jinky! How ya doin'?” he asked, shaking her hand. Then he bent down to my daughter. “Jasmine! Nice to meet you. Are you four now?”

"Uh-huh. Are you Stan Lee?"

He beamed a high-wattage small at her, posed for the pic, then the guard pulled him away.

Carrying off the package, he said, “Thanks to much for this! Sorry we don’t have more time!” He waved, then he was off to sign for another line full of autograph seekers before racing to the airport.

Think about it: Despite a hectic schedule, Stan “The Man” Lee not only made me feel welcome, he had even recalled my wife’s name, my daughter’s name, and how old she was. (This from the guy people say has no memory!)

When I’m at a Con and flustered or crazy busy and someone wants to talk, this gave me something to aspire to. I'm much more concerned these days about giving each fan, each artist, his/her moment and my full attention.

Oh -- and that Walt Disney/Stan Lee piece we gave him that day?

Stan kept it displayed in his office.

So let me wrap this up by saying: Everything in life builds on everything else. I ran into Al Williamson in a Boston bar back in 1982, struck up a conversation, and he suggested that I submit scripts to David Scroggy at Pacific Comics. That led to my first professional comics script sales.

When something as simple as a chance conversation in a bar with can affect one's life, you can only imagine how decades of Stan Lee affected my life without him ever knowing.

Without Stan Lee's "You're in the club" Mighty Marvel Manner version of Marvel Comics, I'd never have become such a comics fan. I never would have had the goal to work with him in comics and would likely have ended up a pharmacist like my Dad wanted.

I wouldn't have been inspired to read so much, get a communications degree in college, sell my first comics scripts, write for magazines and books, create multiple comics series, work in animation, become an editor and publisher, or become an international comics agent and meet thousands of wonderful creative people all over the world, many of who have become my friends.

That also means I wouldn't have gone to the Philippines to teach Creating Comics Seminars and wouldn't have met budding artist Meryl Calanog. So we never would've gotten married and had Jasmine.

Without the inspiration of Stan Lee, my life would be completely different and certainly not one filled with such joy.

Thank you, Stan Lee.

For everything.

-- David Campiti GLASS HOUSE GRAPHICS 12/28/18

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kansascityhappenings · 5 years ago

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Veteran actor Orson Bean killed in traffic-related crash

LOS ANGELES — Orson Bean, the witty actor and comedian who enlivened the game show “To Tell the Truth” and played a crotchety merchant on “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,” was hit and killed by a car in Los Angeles, authorities said. He was 91.

The Los Angeles County coroner’s office confirmed Bean’s Friday night death, saying it was being investigated as a “traffic-related” fatality. The coroner’s office provided the location where Bean was found, which matched reports from police.

A man was crossing the road outside of a crosswalk in the Venice neighborhood when he was clipped by a vehicle and fell, Los Angeles Police Department Officer Drake Madison said. A second driver then struck him in what police say was the fatal collision. Both drivers remained on the scene, neither was impaired and Bean’s death was being treated as an accident, Madison said.

Bean appeared in a number of films — notably, “Anatomy of a Murder” and “Being John Malkovich” — and starred in several top Broadway productions, receiving a Tony nod for the 1962 Comden-Green musical “Subways Are for Sleeping.” But fans remembered him most for his many TV appearances from the 1950s onward.

“Mr. Bean’s face comes wrapped with a sly grin, somewhat like the expression of a child when sneaking his hand into the cookie jar,” The New York Times noted in a review of his 1954 variety show, “The Blue Angel.” It said he showed “a quality of being likable even when his jokes fall flat.”

Born in Burlington, Vermont, in 1928 as Dallas Frederick Burrows, he never lost the Yankee accent that proved a perfect complement to the dry, laconic storytelling that established him as popular humorist. He had picked the stage name Orson Bean “because it sounded funny.”

Orson Bean during a “Tonight Show” interview on August 04, 1977. (Getty)

His father, George, was a founding member of the American Civil Liberties Union and Bean recalled later that his “house was filled with causes.” But he left home at 16 after his mother died by suicide.

In a 1983 New York Times interview, he recalled his early career in small clubs where the show consisted of “me — master of ceremonies, comedian and magician — maybe a dog act, and a stripper.” It was a piano player in one such club, he said, who suggested replacing Dallas Burrows with some funny name like “Roger Duck” — or Orson Bean.

Bean’s quick wit and warm personality made him a favorite panelist for six years on “To Tell the Truth.” The game required the panelists to quiz three contestants to figure out which one was a real notable and which two were impostors. The dramatic outcome inspired a national catchphrase as the host turned to the three and said: “Will the real (notable’s name) please stand up?”

Bean’s style appealed to both Jack Paar and Johnny Carson, and he appeared on “The Tonight Show” more than 200 times.

But his early career was hobbled for a time when he found himself on the Hollywood blacklist in the early years of the Cold War.

“Basically I was blacklisted because I had a cute communist girlfriend,” he explained in a 2001 interview. “I stopped working on TV for a year.”

The blacklist didn’t stop him in the theater. Bean starred on Broadway as a timid fan magazine writer in George Axelrod’s 1955 Hollywood spoof “Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?” alongside Jayne Mansfield and Walter Matthau. He also starred on Broadway with Maureen O’Sullivan in “Never Too Late” and with Melina Mercouri in “Illya Darling,” based on her hit film “Never on Sunday.”

Guest panelist Orson Bean on “Laugh Line”, 1959. (Getty)

Bean took a break from his career for a time in the 1970s when he dropped out and moved to Australia, where he lived a hippie lifestyle. But he returned to the U.S. and — after a period as a self-described “house-husband” — resumed his career.

“I got sick of contemplating my navel and staring up at the sky and telling myself how wonderful it was not to be doing anything,” he explained in a 1983 interview with The New York Times.

In the 1990s, he played the shopkeeper Loren Bray on the long-running drama “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.” He remained active on the screen in recent years with guest shots in such shows as “Desperate Housewives,” “How I Met Your Mother” and “Modern Family.”

Meanwhile, his politics turned more conservative. His daughter married leading right-wing commentator, Andrew Breitbart. Breitbart died in 2012 and Steve Bannon, later a top adviser to Donald Trump, took over Breitbart’s eponymous website, for which Bean had penned occasional columns.

Bean wrote a memoir called “Too Much Is Not Enough” and a book about a non-traditional therapy called “Me and the Orgone.”

Orson Bean as a panelist on “Tattletales” (Buzzr/Fremantle Media)

He had already shown his interest in non-traditional thinking in 1964 when he bought a building in Manhattan and opened up a school based on the philosophy of Summerhill, the progressive British school founded by A.S. Neill.

“I said to myself, we have to start with the children. Why not start a school?” he told The New York Times.

That same year, he co-founded the Sons of the Desert, an organization dedicated to comedians Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy, with chapters around the world.

More recently, income from “Dr. Quinn” and other voice and acting work allowed Bean to finance the Pacific Resident Theater Ensemble in Venice, where he appeared with his third wife, actress Alley Mills.

He had a daughter, Michele, from his first marriage to Jacqueline de Sibour, and sons Max and Ezekiel and daughter Susannah from his marriage to Carolyn Maxwell.

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports http://fox4kc.com/2020/02/08/veteran-actor-orson-bean-killed-in-traffic-related-crash/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2020/02/08/veteran-actor-orson-bean-killed-in-traffic-related-crash/

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how2to18 · 7 years ago

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AT A RECENT DISCUSSION at the CUNY Graduate Center with the writer Chris Kraus, the first question came from a protestor. Kraus was there to talk about After Kathy Acker, her excellent new biography of postmodern lit’s enfant terrible. But the question was not about the biography or Acker’s fiction or even Kraus’s own remarkable novels. Instead, the questioner asked why Semiotext(e), Kraus’s publisher — and at one point Acker’s — was hosting a reading with Kraus at the gallery 356 Mission in Boyle Heights, Los Angeles. Boyle Heights, a historically Latinx neighborhood, is currently engaged in a struggle against gentrification, taking on that seemingly naïve first wave of cultural pioneers: the artists, gallerists, and musicians who often head out to the frontier of what are often lower-income, nonwhite neighborhoods in search of urban grit, inspiration, and, most importantly, cheap rents. Why, the questioner asked, would Kraus and Semiotext(e) contribute to such gentrification? Semiotext(e), a long-standing publisher of radical continental leftist theory, politics, and fiction, would be directly contributing to gentrification.

After a brief impasse, the usual questions begin, with Kraus answering one on politics by pointing out that while Acker was no activist, her work held a subversive edge. Acker, Kraus explained, was political in terms of her art, her personal life, and her theoretical understandings of semiotics and culture. Kraus’s response, though a fair defense of art as politics, falls a little flat. It seems somehow unsatisfactory. Nevertheless, Semiotext(e) canceled the Boyle Heights event shortly thereafter. It is into this complex interrelationship of politics, culture, and economics that the resurgence of interest in Acker has arrived. With the recent publications of the first authorized biography of Acker by Kraus, a compelling edition of letters between Acker and media theorist McKenzie Wark in I’m Very into You: Correspondence 1995–1996, and a new edition of Blood and Guts in High School — released in conjunction with the 20th anniversary of Acker’s death — the question of Acker’s legacy is both timely and telling.

Back in the postmodern day, a protest like the one at the CUNY Graduate Center would have been all but unthinkable. Not only was the political and cultural landscape different (art’s participation in gentrification had just begun), but Acker also had cachet as a transgressive writer. She broke taboos of authorship and ownership by plagiarizing and appropriating literary works, trash, and pornography into her own texts. She wrote explicitly about all kinds of sex, about full-frontal family romance, and about S&M. She radically challenged the notion of a single and stable identity, and called attention to the increasingly powerful role of images in media and daily life. Finally, Acker broke any and all generic constraints and narrative conventions in her collage-like novels or, better, literary assemblages.

But times have changed. As Kraus remarked in a recent interview, “Transgression has become so banal.” In turn, the once daring S&M themes in Acker’s work do not have the same charge they once did, finding themselves comparatively gray-scaled down in a Fifty Shades culture. Nor is Acker’s once cutting-edge deconstructive critique of image culture as trenchant as it once was. Furthermore, postmodernism has long been out of fashion, its once canonical works increasingly ignored by scholars, and its supposedly radical politics questioned as art has become not simply more commodified than ever, but a primary engine for capitalism itself (as in the case of gentrification or “revitalization”). In short, it is perhaps not the most fortuitous moment — if there ever is one — to reconsider an experimental and transgressive writer like Acker. So the questions we might ask in the midst of this would-be revival are obvious: Why Acker? Why now?

Grove Press’s corrected edition of Blood and Guts in High School (the last two sections were mistakenly switched in earlier publications) puts all of Acker’s literary and cultural “transgressions” on display. Completed in 1978 but not published until 1984, the novel is arguably her best, and it serves as a strong case for why Acker still matters. Blood and Guts is a twisted künstlerroman, tracing young Janey Smith’s relationship with and escape from her father/lover to the dirty downtown of late 1970s New York; her capture by a Persian slave trader; her friendship with Jean Genet in Tangiers; and eventually her journey to Egypt and into another (dream) world via her poetry and several fantastic dream maps, which Acker pens in detail.

The novel’s fragmentation and genre play — the story line hopscotches through blocks of prose, play-like transcripts, poems, a creative book report, pornographic drawings, folktales, quotations by literary theorists and philosophers, and more — make it a romp through time and space. The nonlinear and nonrealist story of Janey’s time on earth is frightening, at times poignant, and even very funny. The novel is also unforgiving in its depiction of raw desire and sexuality and includes a brutal abortion section of the “On Demand and Without Apology” sort, so rarely seen or heard of in today’s abortion-rights-slashing United States. For all the sex in Acker’s work, relationships of any kind are never easy. “Abortions,” Janey says, “are the symbol, the outer image, of sexual relations in this world. Describing my abortions is the only real way I can tell you about pain and fear … my unstoppable drive for sexual love made me know.”

Such dizzying genre shifting helps Acker to challenge the notion of a secure, unified self. Since Janey’s world is always rapidly changing, so too is what she thinks of as “herself.” For Janey must learn that the self is a kind of fiction, one that, though it often comes pre-scripted, is always capable of changing genres. As the novel puts it, “You, the thing you called ‘you,’ was a ball turning and turning in the blackness […] every time the ball turns over you feel all your characteristics, your identities, slip around so you go crazy. When the ball doesn’t turn, you feel stable.” Of course, nothing is stable in Blood and Guts, yet the novel’s compactness and focus on Janey’s story make it less jarring than other comparable novels in Acker’s oeuvre, such as Great Expectations (1982) and Don Quixote: Which Was A Dream (1986). As Kraus aptly notes in her introduction to the new edition, Blood and Guts is “a disjunctive but emotionally continuous work.” Acker’s blending of such opposites shows a masterful touch.

There is also something perfect about the angst-ridden “teenage” or “high school” vibe of Blood and Guts. Because Janey is an angry, rebellious, fucked-up teenager, Acker’s angry, rebellious, fucked-up novel feels entirely appropriate and not at all like the experimental fiction it is. High school holds a special place in the American psyche, and this positioning allows Acker to tap into a reservoir of collective nostalgia, resentment, and dark desires. Janey’s frustration and alienation play particularly well in this venue. “Parents stink,” the novel’s first section begins, and therefore so does Janey’s attitude. She painfully negotiates the nuances of difference between sex and love, works a shitty job, and even joins a gang of disaffected, delinquent youth, THE SCORPIONS, for a brief period. But Acker never lets us forget Janey’s physical and emotional vulnerability. As Janey writes in her feminist reading of Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, “The society in which I’m living is totally fucked-up. I don’t know what to do. I’m just one person and I’m not very good at anything. I don’t want to live in hell my whole life.” For Janey, this hellish waking life — the world of school, work, family and societal expectations — means not being in “the vision-world, the world of passion and wildness.” She thus inverts the “real” and dream worlds, since “disconnected from dreams[,] I was psychotic.” In the end, Janey’s dream journeys allow her to realize that “[r]eality is just the underlying fantasy” and to imagine a world and a self different from her own.

Janey’s role as antiheroine, however, is complicated. To Acker’s immense credit, she never settles on a single packaged image or idea of woman in Blood and Guts, or in any of her works. No comforting or commodifiable image of a rebel girl emerges. Instead, Acker relentlessly explores the process of becoming a rebel and becoming a woman through Janey. Since altering such images does not necessarily result in changing the underlying reality, Acker is not interested in merely substituting a bad image with a badass one. Even today, from the new Mad Max to Wonder Woman, these compensatory, supposedly feminist representations of women do little to change systemic gender and sexual inequalities or to prevent sexual abuse by men, from the groper-in-chief on down. For Acker, such received ideas make dubious essentialist claims about what a woman is or ought to be.

Blood and Guts thus privileges experience over received knowledge and culture (culture is always a bad word — the enemy — in Acker). Yet it does so in a way that subverts the traditional (male) bildungsroman. Experience for Acker’s “innocent” protagonists is a continual process of consciousness and the body moving through a world of images and attempting to dream beyond them. And so, even Janey’s teenaged angst and nihilism can pass into the lyrical:

A girl is wild who likes sensual things: doesn’t want to give up things being alive: rolling in black fur on top of skin ice-cold water iron crinkly leaves seeing three brown branches against branches full of leaves against dark green leaves through this the misty grey wanders in garbage on the streets up to your knees and unshaven men lying under cocaine piled on top of cocaine colours colours everything happening! one thing after another thing! … you keep going, there are really no rules: it doesn’t matter to you whether you live or die […]; if you get stuck that’s OK too if you really don’t give a shit […]! Loving everything and rolling in it like it’s all gooky shit goddamnit make a living grow up no you don’t want to do that.

Here is an openness to the flow of experience in full. Consciousness becomes a permeable membrane letting in both the world’s horror and beauty. Knowledge, then, is never something transcendent, settled, or settled upon. Everything is in flux. Personal development is less about building one’s self up so much as it is about disassembling the self that society provides its readymade templates for.

Nevertheless, there is a politics to Acker’s fiction that goes beyond her critique of identity. This politics can be glimpsed in Blood and Guts via Janey’s writings in two seemingly disparate ideas: “[P]olitics don’t disappear but take place inside my body,” and, “The only thing I want is freedom. Let me tell you: I don’t have any idea what that means.” The first quote, of course, could in many ways be taken as the rallying cry of identity politics. One’s racialized, gendered, or sexed body is a site where real political struggle takes place. The second, however, is concerned with how we define freedom and what kind of politics would best guarantee it. The two strains come together, of course, because the body is engaged in political struggles. But in Acker, things are more complicated than they seem.

As Acker’s atypical feminism suggests, identity politics is not exactly her thing. The body is certainly at stake, but it is not a starting point for addressing standard political issues. Acker seeks a “freedom” prior to those “freedoms” guaranteed by, say, the state, a constitution, or the law. It is not that she would have been “against” fair and equal treatment for all under the law. But consider, for example, some of the real-life characters who appear in Acker’s novels, such as Jean Genet in Blood and Guts or Arthur Rimbaud in the underrated In Memoriam to Identity (1990). They are not reimagined as tragic or latent hero figures, or proto-activists for gay rights — as a politically correct(ive) historical novel or film of today might have it. Instead, Acker figures them in the same way she does other similar real-life characters (from Antonin Artaud to Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec). They are social, artistic, and sexual outlaws, deviants and criminals whose struggles to forge new forms of art and life are an affront to the very idea of society, not a call for inclusion. From the point of view of liberalism, this is both a reckless romanticization of the marginalized and their very real plight and an avoidance of pragmatic politics. Seen from another view, Acker is offering an anarchic challenge to the state and society.

The traditional politics of liberalism is a dead end for Acker. She counters it with a politics that ties the body together with a notion of a freedom that, like Janey, we “don’t have any idea what it is”: freedom as an endless process, not an end product — even if it means creating more “rights.” Take the ending of Blood and Guts, when we enter into Janey’s dreamscape world and are told of “ancient books” in which “humans can become something else.” Most important of these is a “book on human transformation.” Janey asks in the book’s final words, “Shall we look for this wonderful book? Shall we stop being dead people? Shall we find our way out of all expectations?” Continually challenging expectations — literary, sexual, political, or otherwise — is Acker’s forte. And she does so not for the shock value of transgression but to test our understanding of freedom’s limits.

Blood and Guts’s anarchic politics is set resolutely against a (neo)liberal humanism of the left or right’s variety. The left’s version of neoliberalism has marketed its commitment to diversity quite well over the last couple of decades without adequately addressing underlying issues such as income inequality, sexism, or racism. Acker, in contrast, is not interested in celebrating diversity if it means adding to a drop-down menu of identity choices. She wants to preserve the notion of diversity before it is tamed by an acceptable category. Thus, her works question and defy categorization itself. Nor, however, does Acker end up blindly equating “freedom” with the “free market,” which comprises the right’s justification of neoliberalism. True, Acker lived in soon-to-be-gentrified neighborhoods and cultivated a hip, edgy image (portrayed on many of her books’ covers) that played into the fame game. But even as her onetime cultural capital has been devalued, the work itself remains truly radical. Ironically, today we must look past Acker’s seductive rebel image in order to grasp what is essential in her novels.

For Acker reveals how literary forms (genres) are like forms of life (genders, among other forms). Genres in Acker are a shifting kaleidoscope of forms that, like facets of identity, are not stable and mask the crucial fact that, like the unified “you,” there is no comforting master narrative. Acker wants to keep open the questions — in both art and life — of what a human is and what forms of life we might potentially create ourselves. To be sure, such aspirations can be seen in Acker’s later life in her brief correspondence exploring queer subjectivity with Wark in I’m Very Into You, as well as in her introduction to the 1990s lesbian/dyke culture in San Francisco. It is no surprise then that Acker’s admirers include the likes of Maggie Nelson and Avital Ronell, both of whose works often blend art and activism, theory and praxis.

Art and literature can no longer be naïve about their direct or indirect complicity with gentrification and capitalism. The protest against Kraus’s Semiotext(e) reading was right on the money in this case. Yet it doesn’t follow that experimental or non-mainstream work that may have contributed to or emerged from gentrification can’t provide a compelling critique of neoliberalism’s notion of market-driven freedoms. Acker’s work and Semiotext(e) still have crucial things to offer when thinking about subjectivity and freedom, even for those who protested the Kraus reading.

Capitalism and its discontents won’t just disappear from marginalized communities when the art galleries and high-end coffee shops do. Then the real work must start. And, of course, anyone with the means or authority to draw lines between the included and excluded will need to provide a list of essential qualifications to divide what belongs from what doesn’t. No matter how worthwhile the cause, such a project comes with obvious dangers. Not for nothing does Janey write her book report on The Scarlet Letter. Recall, too, that Trumpism peddles a false yet effective image of the true red-blooded, white, blue-collared worker who single-handedly Made America Great.

In a world in which liberal democracy is itself in crisis, Acker’s work is more relevant than ever. Change the political genre, fight for something new, Acker’s work urges us, because conventional politics in the post-factual, image-driven age is failing and unable to evolve. Blood and Guts in High School reminds us that freedom is endless becoming and potentiality. We don’t have to play extras in our current postapocalyptic zombie-movie world. And our present reality, like our politics, is only as limited as our imaginations let it be.

Ralph Clare is associate professor of English at Boise State University. He is the author of Fictions Inc.: The Corporation in Postmodern Fiction, Film, and Popular Culture (Rutgers University Press, 2014) and the editor of the forthcoming Cambridge Companion to David Foster Wallace (Cambridge University Press, 2018).

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