#im done with existence on this plane
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
messenger-of-stupidity · 2 years ago
Text
Hhahahahahahahaha if someone wants to be my murderer, the spot is open. It's either that or I hire a hitman on myself 😤
7 notes · View notes
ozsvessalius · 28 days ago
Text
i hate the adult timeline with all my heart so im blissfully living in a world where it doesn't exist 💛 (aka rapidly skipping past all adult timeline scenes whenever i rewatch)
3 notes · View notes
imadeanewventblogagain · 14 days ago
Text
Hey so why tf is it so hard to take no as an answer
0 notes
fritzllang · 2 years ago
Text
got charged 77£ at the airport bc I accidentally booked the wrong size luggage and then got a message telling me a did a poor job at my last work and now I'm having a nervous breakdown on the gate to the plane and everyone is looking at me bc I can't stop crying. 👌
0 notes
taetebebe · 26 days ago
Note
Hi! I'm new here so i don't know if you write. But I thought I'd sent a request, just in case. Could you write idol x reader but it's a slow love story. I don't have much to ask except for soft and slow ☺️ I'm thinkin maybe Jungwon or Sunghoon, you can choose :) I really liked the Jay stories ❤️❤️❤️❤️
NOT YET, THEN YES
Tumblr media
Pairing: idol!Jungwon x afab-fan!reader
Synopsis: They met by chance one, twice and thrice - no promises, just a folded note and a feeling that lingered. It wasn’t love at first sight, but something quiet stayed - until not yet became forever.
Word count: 2.7k
Author's note: Thank you for the ask anonnie - I've actually never written here, never even shared my work before. Ngl Im not confident in writing but inspiration struck and it had to be done. Hopefully I did your ask justice. I dont really like the first bits... I'm not a 100% sure if Ill continue writing but I'd love to get asks and prompts for it just to see if I can get inspired again <3!
Enhypen Bookshelf [[]
Tumblr media
Not a flashy, arena-level chaos. A smaller venue. You’re nervous, of course, but you’re not here to cry or scream. You’re here because you made peace with something a long time ago: this love doesn’t need to be returned to be valid.
You’re ushered forward. You barely register the staff’s words. 
Jungwon.
He’s more boy than god up close. Clear skin, focused eyes. Soft smile He greets you like he does every fan. Polite, grateful, warm. You smile gently, not forcing. Just being.
You place something on the table. It’s not a huge gift. Just a short letter. You don’t even expect him to open it. 
He glances at your name on the A5 paper. “yn,” he says softly, reading it with care.
And then, you meet his eyes. He’s used to quick fan interactions. But there’s something in yours that holds him. A steadiness. An ache he recognises.
You manage to say, “Thank you for just existing.”
He blinks. It’s nothing fancy. But your voice is steady, and it hits him. Maybe he’s heard it a thousand times. But this time, it feels like it came from someone who meant it in a different way. Someone who understands the weight.
His brows furrow gently, touched. “Thank you… for saying that,” he replies. His voice is clear, soft around the edges.
It’s a brief interaction. The staff move you along. He sees hundreds more faces as usual.
But that night, in his hotel room, he picks up your letter. Maybe out of curiosity. Maybe because your eyes lingered in his mind longer than they should’ve.
He reads your words. You didn’t confess a dramatic love. 
And he doesn’t cry. But he does feel it.
For the first time in a while, someone saw him not as an idol, or a leader, or a pretty face. But as someone human. Someone young and trying and maybe a little tired.
He folds the letter and places it in his bag. Quietly. Carefully. Like it matters.
𖤐 
You never know he read it. But he remembers.
And if your eyes meet again, there’s a pause. A flicker. A half-smile that looks just a little too personal.
Not because he loves you romantically. Not yet.
But because he remembers the girl who said, “Thank you for existing,” and meant it with her whole soul.
And that? That’s how real stories begin.
𖤐 
The hotel room was too quiet.
Even with the hum of the air conditioner and the dull ache in his shoulders, he couldn’t settle. His phone was facedown. His members were in their own rooms - most probably asleep, some playing games. He lay in bed, arms behind his head, eyes on the ceiling.
And then, his eyes drifted to his bag. Still zipped. Tucked in the corner. Full of trinkets and notes from fans. Some he’d glance at, some he’d save to open later on the plane. But tonight, something tugged.
He sat up.
Unzipped the bag.
Among the brightly coloured envelopes and carefully wrapped presents, he found it.
A plain letter. Neatly folded. His name. His real one, 양정원, written in small handwriting on the front. No sparkles. No hearts. No perfume. Just intention.
He opened it again.
“Dear Jungwon,
You don’t know me, and that’s okay.
I just wanted you to know I don’t admire you because you’re perfect. I admire you because you’re still here. Because you carry so much and still find reasons to smile.
You remind me that surviving is its own kind of strength.
Thank you for existing :)
~ yn”
He stared at the paper. His fingers stilled. Something lodged itself in his throat, not a lump of tears, not quite.
The name clicked. The girl from the fansign. She hadn’t trembled. Just looked at him like she’d already known him for a long time.
He sat there for a long time, your letter balanced on his lap. The weight of your words hung heavier than the applause ever did.
𖤐 
It’s been a few weeks.
He still thought about it sometimes. After long rehearsals. When the fans called his name and his smile felt just a little more real. When he checked his phone and re-read that line: “I admire you because you’re still here.”
Sometimes it haunted him in the good kind of way. The grounding kind. The kind that says: someone out there knows the cost, and still chooses to love gently.
Maybe he didn’t know who you really were. Maybe he’d never see you again.
But the truth settled in his chest like a soft pulse: Someone out there held space for him. Quietly. Unconditionally.
𖤐 
It’s months later. You’ve moved on with your life - university assignments, late train rides, work, family. Jungwon still lives in your heart, tucked into the same place where your strength and softness coexist. But he’s on the shelf now. Safe. Untouched.
But fate is messy.
𖤐 
You’re in Japan visiting family. You’re walking alone in a quieter part of the city, tucked into the calm of late afternoon. The wind is still chilly, but the sakura are beginning to flirt with the breeze. You step into a tucked away bookstore café. Not fancy. Local. You order a hojicha latte, take a corner seat, and breathe.
He walks in ten minutes later.
You don’t see him at first. Not until you glance toward the poetry section and your eyes land on that familiar posture: hood up, mask on, fingers trailing down the spines of books like he’s memorising them. Your chest goes still.
You shake it off. It can’t be. What are the odds?
But as you get up to leave, you cross paths near the doorway.
He looks up.
And stops.
“…yn?”
You blink. His voice is hesitant. But deliberate.
You’re in Tokyo. In a completely different country. At a random shop. And yet here he is. And somehow…somehow…he remembers.
You stammer, “Hi… how did you…”
He lets out a quiet laugh, eyes crinkling. “You have a very… grounded kind of presence. It’s not something easy to forget.”
And then a pause. The kind that asks permission.
So you nod.
And he says, “Would you want to… get a drink? Walk?”
You do.
𖤐 
You two walk through the back streets of Yanaka, where the city breathes slower and the air carries stories. He’s quieter than you imagined. Gentle, observant, eyes darting to you occasionally like he’s still trying to place what exactly you are in his world. You learn he’s there on a short break. Not working. Not performing. Just existing.
You don’t gush. You don’t recite facts. You don’t need to.
He asks you what you’re reading lately. You ask if he writes lyrics just for himself. There’s a flicker in his eyes when you say that - like maybe he’s never said it out loud but you somehow knew.
At one point he says, “When I first read your letter, it felt like someone was holding out their hand to me. Not pulling. Just… offering. Like, ‘I see you.’”
You turn to him. “That’s all I ever wanted. Just for you to be seen.”
He smiles. Not the rehearsed kind.
The real kind.
𖤐 
You don’t exchange numbers. Not yet. But before you part, he pulls something from his pocket—a thin, folded scrap of notepaper.
He writes:
“I don’t believe in coincidences. If we meet again, let’s make time for more than just a walk.”
-  JW
You take the note. You walk away.
And for the first time, you feel it. Not just the ache of loving someone from afar.
But the quiet thrill of maybe being loved back, even just a little. Even just enough.
𖤐
You both go home - him to Seoul, you to your tiny world. You don’t expect anything more. You press the folded note on the back of your phone and let life resume: your assignments, your family, the train rides. You think of him sometimes when your fingers brush the edge of the page where his handwriting lives. But you don’t reach out. You don’t even know how.
It’s been months, you’re back in Tokyo, helping your aunt with something, a quick trip. You’re walking along the Meguro River, early evening, camera around your neck, catching the last bloom of the season. You’re framing a shot when you hear your name.
Soft, but certain.
“Yn.”
You turn.
He’s there. No hoodie this time. No mask. Just Jungwon. Yang Jungwon.
He smiles like you’re someone he was actually hoping to find.
“I asked the bookstore café owner,” he admits sheepishly. “The one in Yanaka. She said you’d be here.”
You laugh in disbelief. “That’s stalker behaviour.”
He grins. “It was detective behaviour. There’s a difference.”
𖤐 
You don’t fall into romance. Not yet. He’s an idol. You’re a student, just you. Your lives don’t line up in any conventional way. But you begin to meet, quietly, rarely, intentionally.
Once in Fukuoka, when you’re there for a family wedding. Once in Seoul, when you’re on a student exchange. Sometimes just to talk. Sometimes to sit in bookstores across from each other, not even speaking, sharing silence like it’s sacred.
He listens to your stories. About the hardships. About being the strong one. And he doesn’t try to fix anything.
He just… stays.
And you do the same when he tells you about the pressures he can’t name in public. The loneliness of being known by everyone but understood by very few.
You become his quiet place. And he becomes your pause button.
𖤐 
It’s been two years since.
It’s raining in Tokyo. You’re seated across from each other in a tiny jazz café, your umbrella dripping near the door, your tea long forgotten.
He looks up from his notebook and says, like it’s the most casual thing in the world:
“You once told me you admired me because I kept going.”
You nod slowly.
He closes the notebook. “But I think I’ve kept going because of people like you.”
And you don’t say anything right away.
Because how do you respond to something that sacred?
Instead, you reach across the table and place your hand gently over his.
You’re still not lovers.
But you’re not strangers anymore.
And that space between?
That’s where everything lives now: the letters, the bookstore in Tokyo, the sakura you walked under twice, the folded paper in your journal, and the way he still says your name like it’s something soft he found and wants to protect.
𖤐
It’s been years now.
No headlines. No scandals. Just a quiet, private knowing. A thread between your worlds that’s only visible to the two of you.
You’re back in Seoul, not for him, but for your own reasons: a conference, a short-term internship, something that finally feels like you’re moving forward in your own story. But the moment you landed, he knew. You never told him directly, but he knew. Because he always does.
𖤐 
You don’t text him. He doesn’t text you. That’s not how you operate.
But you walk to the old hanok café in Seochon. The one with the courtyard where ginkgo leaves collect like gold. You go around 3 p.m., sip on warm citron tea, and pull out your book.
And right on time, he slips into the seat across from you like he never left.
“Still reading poetry I can’t understand?” he teases.
You smirk. “Still pretending your hoodie makes you unrecognisable?”
He grins. He’s grown. His jawline sharper. Shoulders broader. But his eyes are the same. Still full of that quiet kind of searching.
𖤐 
You walk through Bukchon Hanok Village, speaking in soft voices so the wind doesn’t steal your secrets.
He buys you hoddeok from a street vendor and insists on tearing it in half so it’s even - burns his fingers. You don’t let him forget it.
You wander into a tiny art gallery and both get distracted by the same charcoal sketch of two faceless figures holding hands but facing away from each other. You stare. He whispers, “That’s us, isn’t it?” You don’t answer.
Later, seated on the rooftop of a building you’re pretty sure you weren’t allowed into, you eat convenience store ramen in silence. He swings his legs off the ledge like a child.
“You know,” he says, between bites, “if my life wasn’t so… scheduled, I think I’d have fallen for you by now.”
You don’t look at him when you reply, “Who says you haven’t?”
He doesn’t respond. But his pinky finger brushes yours on the ledge. Once. Deliberately.
And then he leaves it there.
𖤐 
You’re the soft place he lands when the world is too loud. He’s the rare silence you let in.
You don’t call it love. Because love, in this world, means goodbyes and blurred lines and burning too fast.
You call it something else.
You call it “See you next time.”
You call it “Let me know when you’re in Tokyo again.”
You call it “I saved that poem for you.”
You call it “I’m still here.”
𖤐
He was in the practice room again. Alone. The mirrors caught him mid-spin, breath ragged, hair stuck to his neck. Music still playing, but he wasn’t dancing anymore. Just staring at himself. Not the way fans saw him. Not the leader. Not the shining star.
Just Jungwon. Exhausted. Twenty odd years. Wondering what the hell all this was supposed to mean.
He picked up his phone on instinct, scrolling past schedules, unread messages, group chats. He paused on the contact saved as: she exists. You hadn’t messaged in weeks. You never overreached.
You always gave without grabbing.
He clicked into your last text. It wasn’t dramatic. 
Just: If it’s too heavy today. You don’t have to answer. Just breathe. I’m here.
He stared at it for too long. His thumb hovered, but he didn’t type anything back.
Instead, he let out a breath and whispered, “She sees me.”
And that was it.
That was the moment.
Not love at first sight.
Love in the long-sight. The slow build. The kind that made his chest ache not from wanting you, but from needing to be worthy of the way you saw him.
𖤐 
It’s been too many years to count since you gave him the letter. 
You’re home. You’ve finished your studies. You’ve grown. You’re still short, still quiet in the loudest ways. You still write letters you don’t send. Still tuck his memory into your quiet days, like a petal pressed between pages.
You’ve accepted that what you had with Jungwon might have just been a constellation. Not a path.
Until it isn’t.
It’s raining when it happens, of course.
You’re walking back from the train stop, a paper bag of groceries tucked under one arm, when someone calls your name across the street.
You pause. Turn.
He’s there.
Older. Hoodie half-drenched. Duffel bag over his shoulder. No cameras. No staff. Just him.
He walks toward you with the kind of smile that says, I’ve had this moment imagined for years.
“I meant to text,” he says, “but I didn’t want to ask. I just… wanted to come.”
You blink. “Come where?”
“Here.” He gestures around. “To you. To whatever you’re doing now.”
He shifts the strap of his bag, eyes flicking to yours with nervous certainty. “I realised something. I just- I’ve done the world tour. The global interviews. The Billboard charts. Everything honestly.”
His voice lowers. “But I’ve never held your hand.”
Your fingers twitch.
“Then maybe,” you whisper, “you should.”
And so he does.
𖤐 
You still have your own lives. You still drink tea on opposite ends of the couch while reading different books. But now, when he visits, he leaves a toothbrush. A pair of slippers. A mug he calls his own.
Sometimes you catch him looking at you when he thinks you’re not watching. You don’t ask what he’s thinking.
Because you already know.
𖤐 
You’re lying in bed, a late Sunday morning. Sunlight spilling across the sheets. Your hand is on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breath.
He speaks softly.
“You know how I said I’ve never held your hand?”
You nod sleepily.
“I think I want to keep holding it.”
You smile into his skin.
“You always could’ve.”
And now, finally, he does.
𖤐
© taetebebe 2025
255 notes · View notes
shurisneakers · 7 months ago
Text
unsolved (v)
Summary: Bucky doesn't even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet's amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or shits left to give, to make things even worse. (Buzzfeed unsolved AU)
Warnings: swearing, frustrated bucky, obnoxious reader, witchcraft
A/N: it's like i never left amirite (im sorry it has been like 10 months pls forgive me ily guys let's pretend this series never went on hiatus) (i had cancer and college but now I've graduated from both and i live babyyy. anyway. welcome back to my house of horrors)
Tumblr media
Previous part || Series masterlist
When you tell Maya you want to do witchcraft, you'd done so with the full expectation of defending your idea with the force of a PhD student who was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
She surprisingly agrees. 
“Really?” It's hard to stop the astonishment from entering your voice. Honestly, it sort of pisses you off that the Canva presentation you spent five hours on wouldn't actually see the light of day.
“Yeah, sure. I think it'd do well with the older demographic. ” She shrugs.
"Really?" Now you weren't sure she was on the same plane of existence as you were.
“Make some animals talk. Conjure up some parking spots.”
Ah. 
“I was thinking more like... hexing people and shadow demons,” you test slowly.
That seems to tether her to reality.
Her head cranes towards you centimetre by centimetre, like she was buffering in real time.
“Are you insane?" she states, not very much sounding like she was expecting an answer. "Do you want to end up on the news? Do you know how vicious Facebook groups can be?” 
“No PR is bad PR,” you preach wisely, parroting advice you’d seen bots on Twitter tell other bots. 
“That doesn’t apply to you. I already have a tough time explaining Stephen Strange and why he’s not literally the devil to the public."
Now that was a little unfair. Perhaps it warranted another Canva presentation.
"Have you considered that I'm hotter and significantly cooler than Stephen Strange?" you suggest helpfully.
She squints at you, or more likely your audacity. "I will not have another scandal on my hands this week.” 
“But next week is okay?”
Her hardened stare tells you quickly what a thousand words cannot.
You cross your arms over your chest. “Thou limit me so, Maya. How is one to find you invigorating content in these trying circumstances?”
Maya taps your shoulder on her way out, crooning, “There’s a reason I asked you to do this series. You’ll figure it out.”
You hide a smile with an all too dramatic sigh. “Thou compliment me so. How am I to not fall in love with thee?”
Maya shakes her head playfully. “Nothing that will get me called into a press conference by mid-day. No hexing. No extreme curses. ”
“Mid-level curses it is, then” you call after her.
Her leaving figure does not give you a reply.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
After a week of staring at the corner of his room through the night, delirious to the point where he seriously considered using Sam’s Amazon Prime account to buy his own stupid ghost apparatuses, Bucky throws in the towel.
Clearly, he was mistaken. Sleep deprived and probably missing his family a little more than he would have ever admitted to a living soul.
Bucky's sleep deprivation adds to his already charming and sociable personality.
No one would touch him with a ten-foot pole. Bucky’s usually grumpy and while everyone had sort of built a tolerance towards his regular nonsense, he was now the very sexy combination of grumpy and sensitive.
For his part, after last week's shenanigans, Bucky has stuck to avoiding anything and everything horror.
He watches only romcoms and finds that while everyone says he seems most like Harry from Harry Met Sally, he hates that Mike Wazowski motherfucker with a passion. 
While everyone else seems to get the memo, you have chosen to ignore it blissfully, and have instead been prancing about all week, shoving meme after meme into his face.
Bucky Barnes smiling compilations that were 7 seconds long. Bucky Barnes social media fanfictions that showed him replying far more than he had ever replied to anyone in real life ever.
Bucky’s learnt to ignore you with a long-suffering glare. You adapt quickly, skillfully dodge the daggers shooting out of his eyes and shove another TikTok in his face. It is an edit of him to Toxic by Britney Spears. He doesn't want to ask where they got some of the footage they used.
After the fifth Twitter screenshot, he takes to avoiding you like the plague.
Unfortunately for Maya, that involved avoiding the set too. He sees on the official The Graveyard Shift channels that there’s an announcement put out about an episode delay. 
It is undeniably his fault. No, he still won't answer the group chat or the several knocks at his door every day.
But because the universe is invested in his sorrow, you seem to find him wherever he goes.
In the garden, digging through the vegetable bed.
In the storeroom, looking through oversized cookware.
When he walked into the alley behind the Tower and found you there, he hissed at you like a feral cat and you asked very loudly what the fuck was wrong with him. 
He checks every part of him and all his clothes for a tracker but no-- you just seem to have a karmic connection level of being exactly where he is. 
When he runs into you for the fourth time at the library, he really thinks he’s lost it.
“Are you following me?” he asks, voice sharp.
You look at him in wonder. “Your ego is so big it could have its own gravitational pull. How do you carry around your massive head all day?"
“Everywhere I go, you’re there.” He continues, finger pointing in accusation. 
“Bitch, you're the one who walked in here," you exclaim. "I’ve been here all day.”
“Doing what?”
“Who’s following who now?” you dare.
“Because you’re in this section.” He does a quick check to see what section it actually is. Witchcraft and Wizardry. He may not have known that when he accused you but he definitely was not wrong.
“Why do you care what I do here?”
Because he's wondering if he’s managed to shut down production permanently and sent a bunch of people into unemployment.
“I don’t trust you here," he settles on instead. "What are you actually doing?"
“I’m learning things. Gaining knowledge. And such." You gesture vaguely before you narrow your eyes at him. "Not that you would know, you ape.”
He scoffs. He had the intelligence of a thousand suns, mind you.
“You don’t even have a book," he counters.
“So? I’m gaining knowledge through osmosis.” You look around. “I’m absorbing.”
His nose twitches, teeth clenched.
“Whatever,” he mumbles instead, turning his attention to the bookshelf.
As he thumbs through various titles he’s too annoyed to read, a small movement catches his attention. 
He watches you from the corner of his eyes. 
“What?” you demand, this whole exchange too damn loud for a library. 
“What?” he challenges right back. “Why are you watching me?”
“Why am I– you’re the one staring at me.” You throw your hands up. “First you follow me here, second you accuse me of things that would get me burnt at the stake a couple of years ago, third you accuse me of watching you just 'cause you know you're pretty. You–”
Bucky narrows his eyes, not missing the random compliment you slipped in.
“Hold on just one second. That’s why you’ve been avoiding everyone all week.” You stare at him, wide-eyed and unrelenting.
He thinks he must have missed some part of the conversation because he has no idea why you're looking at him like you've figured him all out.
“That’s why you’ve been so jumpy and sleep deprived ever since that episode you filmed.”
Bucky’s gaze doesn’t waver, but his mind races and his breath falters for a second. There’s no goddamn way you knew what had gone down, he’d deleted every footage that could possibly–
“You missed me.”
He stops his overthinking right in its tracks.
“That’s it, isn’t it?” You tilt your head, face full of pure sympathy. “You filmed one episode without me by your side and realised you couldn’t live without me.”
“Fucking ridiculous,” he mutters, eyes pressed closed tighty, partially in relief. 
“You want me, don’t you? You want me so bad it makes you throw u–”
“Fuck off.” Bucky turns on his heel at the speed of light.
“You have a fat, raging crush–”  
“I’m fuckin' moving out.” His voice is like rocks.
“You can move out, but you can never move on, baby,” you whisper-shout. “When’d you realise you liked me, Bucky? Night one? The first hou–”
He slams the library door behind him. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
From: Stevie Left some strawberries outside your door. They’re good. 
From: Stevie How are you doing today, by the way?
From: Bucky alive
From: Bucky and thanks 
From: Stevie Anything we have to talk about? Your wood chisels didn’t break again, did they?
From: Bucky nothing im fine
From: Stevie You sure? Time for a Cypress Hills visit?
From: Bucky no im fine 
From: Stevie You haven’t left the room in a week. Beat your old record and I'm going to start getting worried here.
Bucky stares at his phone wondering how he ended up with a mother a century after his own died, before sighing.
From: Bucky going to film a video this week. im fine
From: Bucky promise 
Because there really was no other way to convince Steve that he as leaving the cave he constructed from his comforter.
From: Steve Good to hear. I’m always across the hallway if you need anything. 
From: Bucky i know. your gramophone won’t let me forget it. 
From: Steve Dick.
From: Bucky it is too damn loud. old ass
From: Steve Got a new record. Haven’t listened to it yet.
From: Bucky ill be there in 10
Tumblr media
That Friday, Bucky walks onto the set in his finest black hoodie and darkest sunglasses, looking less like a badass and entirely like a hungover teenager. 
Before he has a chance to even register what’s going on, he is ambushed by lights, a team touching up his face and his stupid dollar store sunglasses leave him before he has a chance to protest.  
“I told you he’d show up,” you pipe up proudly from your place at the table. “Lil' shit simply missed me too–”
“Stop,” he interrupts, finally getting around to look at the set when the foundation brushes stop assaulting his line of vision. 
For a hot second, he thinks you've taken over Steve's cooking show. 
There are candles floating around, which he assumes you're holding up. A large… cauldron, gigantic wooden mixing spoons and 50 little bowls worth of ingredients are neatly arranged on the table.
“What the hell is going on?” he questions immediately. “What is all this?”
“Mise en place, baby,” you reply, shutting a book you had on the table loudly before looking at him. “You’re on dish duty. Come on.” 
“What?” His eyebrows pull into a frown. 
You dust off your hands before reaching under the table and chucking an apron at him. “Back when I worked as a line cook, the number one rule was to clean up as you go. I like to think of it as--”
“What is going on here?” he specifies, already trying to piece together your timeline in his head with every new piece of lore.
“Welcome to my kitchen, motherfucker.” Your grin is nefarious. “We're gonna do some witchcraft.” 
Tumblr media
After he spends fifteen minutes on the phone with Maya confirming that yes, that is indeed the episode and that the heads up he needed would have reached him if he opened the seventeen million messages on the group chat– he finally comes to stand behind the bench with you, a tick in his jaw but also with enough self-awareness to be sheepish. 
He thought his grand return to the channel would be a simple video with some ghost reading or whatever, not… this. 
He turns to you, ready to reach a compromise that ends with him not having to be there at all.
But in the fifteen minutes he had turned his attention to the call, you’ve somehow convinced them to start rolling before he gets the chance to leave, so he’s immediately hit with a--
“We’re on in three…two–”
Tumblr media
“Where is your apron?” you demand, looking him up and down.
“I’m not wearing that shit.” It had some stupid slogan like ‘Life is about taking whisks!’ and he had already been through enough.
“Jeez, annyone would think that you're not in love with me--"
"I'm not."
"--by the way you're so ungrateful. I got that custom-made for you,” you tsk. “I could've gotten the other one. Mine could've said ‘he’s my sweet potato’ and yours could've said ‘I yam’.”
Bucky experiences a whole-body chill. 
“Whatever," you dismiss with a wave of hand before looking into the camera. "Before we get started, we recognize that for some, witchcraft is a deeply meaningful religion and spiritual practice that should be approached with respect and curiosity.”
Tumblr media
“We’re not claiming this is the definitive guide to witchcraft, we’re simply trying out a book that’s been highly recommended for better or worse, and seeing where it leads us. Whaddya say, Bucko?
You look at him for input. Bucky stares at the dusty, hole-ridden monstrosity on the table.
“What’s it called?” Bucky asks finally after a long pause.
You tap the thick, old book. “Witchcraft for Weenies: A Totally Legit Guide to Authentic Witchcraft by A. Harkness.”
“Is that the actual name or are you just making it up?”  
“Rich coming from the only one between us who actually lied on camera--" you glare at him. "I would never fabricate my sources, I’m a champion for academic integrity.”
You pick up the book to show him, flipping it towards the camera too and sure enough, the book that was basically falling apart at the binding was called exactly that.
“Let’s-a go, baby.”
Tumblr media
You stare at him, lips pressed together. Bucky gives no inclination towards changing his answer. 
“Fine. We’re going to do this the hard way, I see.” You exhale, reaching into the pocket of your apron. 
Bucky’s eyebrows knit together when you brandish a deck of cards, yank his arm towards you and drop it into his open palm. 
“Shuffle," you command.
Something very familiar faces him.
Bucky stares at the cards before looking back at you. “Why’s my face on it?”
“It’s a tarot deck I got from Comic Con,” you insist. “Avengers themed. Now shuffle it.”
He thinks you left that card on top on purpose, but regardless, he's already been too much of a menace to the crew to be the cause of any more disturbance.
So he slowly begins, careful and skilled, before you scoff in his face.
“Faster, grandpa," you chide. “I’ve seen the way those hands cut garlic when no one’s around, I know you move faster than that.”
Bucky rolls his eyes but complies anyway, shuffling the cards with the adeptness only a certain Jim Morita could have taught him in a dark tent to keep him awake on a night watch. 
“Faster,” you goad, face smug. “Faster. Come on now, Barnes, your age finally catching up to you?”
It’s stupid– he doesn’t even know why he’s actually complying and increasing his speed. He can’t believe that he was letting you pressure him.
“C’mon, faster, Barnes, you abso-”
His hands were moving so fast by then that they’d have to put the video in slow motion to catch all the movement.
“Faster–” and in the commotion, a few cards fly out.
“Brilliant, thanks.” You slam them down on the table, plucking the deck out of his hand before he has a chance to process why the fuck he actually went ahead with what you were trying. 
“Right, so the universe has decided that these will be your cards,” you tell him, and he finally looks down at what had fallen out of the deck. 
The cards show Sam’s Captain America shield, Carol Danvers, and Spider-Man, with words written below.
“The Star, Six of Cups, The Hanged Man,” you read out thoughtfully.  
Tumblr media
Bucky rolls his eyes so hard he thinks they’ll fall out of his skull. 
“You know, I’m going to just make a general assumption and say you need help.” You hum to yourself. “I'm gonna make a potion to get you some.”
“Get me some?” He's too busy trying to figure out what the cards could possibly mean to see that he's walked straight into that one.  
“Get you some perspective. You need an advisor who’ll dish it to you straight. Give you the facts, no bullshit–”
"No." He had too many of those in his life and he has had enough of people being “honest” and "straightforward” and telling him his moustache was ugly every time he dared to try out a new look–
Until you reach under the table and again and suddenly, there’s a white creature buzzing around on the table in front of him.
“Behold– your new advisor,” you announce.
From the corner of his eye Bucky can see the production team scrambling to figure out where the hell this was going. He lip-reads producers’ orders to find adoption links or resources to insert during post-production, and teasers on social media, to make this look more planned. Great, so no one was prepared-- it wasn't just him.
“Whose fucking cat is this?” He looks down at it, all white except for a few brown spots all around, green eyes and evil in her aura.
“Relax, I'll give her back when we're done.”
“Give her ba–” he echoes. “Where did you get her?” 
“The alley outside,” you coo, rubbing under her chin. “I checked and she doesn’t have an owner. But look at her, she’s meant to be here.”
Bucky looks at the cat. The cat looks back at him, irises narrowing into slits. His nose twitches. 
“You can’t just bring a cat–”
“Remember to adopt, not shop,” you say to the camera before clapping your hand. “Anyway. If my potion goes according to plan, she will be giving you unsolicited life advice for eternity.” 
“You will be unemployed, then,” Bucky manages to add while watching the chaos unfold behind the camera.
“Nonsense, I’m irreplaceable.” You grin. “Besides, you can't manufacture chemistry like this even in a cauldron.” 
You send him a flying kiss. His glower was as sharp as laser beams.
“Let’s get started.” You grin at the camera. 
Bucky tries to pet the cat. She hisses at him.
Well all-fucking-right then.
Tumblr media
One hour later, things have descended into madness of the most mundane kind.
It was precisely when you started telling him ten minutes in that a book had nothing on your instincts and raw intelligence that Bucky knew that this was going to shit. 
The cauldron was on an electric stove unlike the open fire demanded by the book because the team had enough foresight to know it would be a fire hazard.
Tumblr media
You toss in something that looks like cardamom but he isn’t sure at this point. He just wanted to get away from the bright lights and the strange smiling liquid boiling awai.
The cat sits obediently by your side, watching curiously. He is convinced that she is evil.
Unfortunately, Bucky has had to hold her back twice when she tried to stick her paw in to attack a bubble, and at this point, he doesn’t think he has it in him to do it a third time. 
You read the recipe as if it makes any sort of fucking difference now.
“We’re almost done,” you sing. 
Bucky nurses his headache.  “Don't give me hope.” 
“Put some more reegelbeetle seeds in,” you dictate. “This is gonna work, I can feel it.”
Bucky uses his free hand to do as you say. He doesn’t even think it’s the right one, he just reaches for whatever is closer to you and you don't seem to care either.
You toss in some more seeds, stir twice and then turn off the stove. 
“Boom.” You lift the spoon up, watching the thick liquid drip back. “This is either a talking potion or a hex.” 
"Hex to do what?”
“I think it activates dormant allergies.” You squint at the book that literally had no significance besides being a prop. “You got any?”
“No.” But it makes him think of Steve’s pollen allergies. 
“Oh. Well, then there’s only one outcome here.”
“Alright, here we go.” Of the gigantic pot that you’d just stirred, you fish the tiniest amount out on the smallest spoon he’d ever seen, which you also apparently stored in the vast space that was your apron pocket.
The cat watches you hold the spoon near its face.
It takes a sniff. Then two. Finally, after deeming it non-poisonous, it sticks out its tongue the tiniest bit and takes a lick.
The whole crew is silent.
Bucky’s hand is still pressing against his temples.
“Tell us your name,” you urge, voice hopeful.
The cat looks at Bucky, and for a second, something akin to understanding flashes in its eyes. It’s uncanny and weird and something about it unsettles him deeply. 
You seem to catch it too because you look at him in surprise. He looks back at you, face pulled into a frown. 
And for a moment, he wonders. If you'd somehow done it. Because there’s no fucking way–
Then it meows.
He exhales.
Your shoulders drop as you let out an “Aw, man.”
"Great. Goodbye. Like and subcribce to the bell icon," he calls out, dusting his hands against his pants.
Someone from the production crew sneezes.
Both of you turn to him immediately. 
At the same instant, someone else all the way on the opposite end sneezes again, and the whole crew turns to look at them, before another sneezes in the front.
“We did it!” you cheer.
“We didn’t do jack,” Bucky interjects immediately as the crew errupts into a cacophony of chatter and sneezes.  
“It’s a hex that activates allergies and they’re sneezing,” you point towards them with the spoon, triumphant.
“You threw fifteen fuckin' pounds of pepper in there,”  he argues. “You've turned this room into a sandstorm of dry spices. This proves nothing.” 
“I’ve connected the dots.” Your eyes shine, ignoring him.  
“You didn’t connect shit.”
“I’ve connected them.” 
Someone in the corner sneezes. He wonders if Steve’s allergies would be activated by the trace amounts of... cursed soup that he carries with him back to the floor. 
“Well, we can’t leave them like this, Bucky.” You look around, tsking. “We gotta make a reverse hex or something.”
“You can,” he says. “It’s called opening the windows.”
“Nope,” you pop the last syllable. “We’re making another potion. C’mon.”
“First of all, this is not a potion–” he begins, but is interrupted by a buzz on his phone, the screen lit up by a text on the groupchat. 
From: Maya I don’t give a shit if it’s placebo or not. Make a damn potion before you get sued for hexing employees. 
“Fine,” he grumbles. 
“Beautiful. Grab the ash sphinx flakes,” you brandish another big cauldron from fuck knows where.
Bucky stares at you, unmoving.
“Just get the oregano,” you sigh. 
The cat tries sticking her paw in the pot again.
Bucky feels a sneeze incoming.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Whether the hex and subsequent anti-hex Maya forced you to make at gunpoint was real or not, is yet to be determined scientifically.
What actually does happen, is the damn apron you give him carries enough trace amount of your stupid experiment, that it somehow activates Steve’s very real pollen allergy. Bucky finds himself on edge for the rest of the day every time the man rattles the walls with his middle aged dad sneezing.
It carries on over to his show, which means Steve’s episode on baking a 1950s chocolate cake from tomato soup is edited extremely strangely to cut out every sneeze.
Which means Nat’s episode on spy inaccuracies in Argylle takes twice as long to film because they have to take a few seconds every time Steve’s sneezes interrupt her from the set next door.
Which means Bruce’s video on the science behind memory is delayed on shooting.
All in all, something does seemed to have been hexed, but it mostly seems to be everyone’s fucking productivity.
Finally, everyone manages to get through the day, and the videos are sent to post production.
The same night when everyone’s gathered at the dining table to commemorate the end of another shoot day, Bucky slips out, knowing that Steve would save him a slice of pizza if he never returned. 
He goes back to the library to return his copy of Understanding Wood Finishing, when his curiosity leads him back down a familiar path. 
It’s where he finds you again, in the same corner as the last time, on the floor, surrounded by shelves.
“You again.” You quirk an eyebrow when he appears from the shadows. "Aren't you supposed to be eating pizza?"
“What are you absorbing now?” he asks, voice low for once, respecting the sanctity of the library now that day had slipped into night and everything seemed a bit more solemn now.
“Nothing,” you answer.
“Then why are you here?” 
He figured you’d be out there, introducing everyone to the cat that was now set to be roaming the halls, before someone assumed it was a shapeshifting enemy and dealt with it accordingly.
“God forbid someone get some peace and quiet for once,” you mumble. “It’s too loud out there.”
Oh.
You don’t say anything else, leaning back against the bookshelf with your eyes closed.
There really isn't a need for more words. He gets it. 
The understadning leaves silence in its wake. Bucky doesn't really have anything to say.
“Did you come here just to stare at me?” you ask finally. “Did you finally admit your feelings?” 
“Jesus Christ,” he groans. “I’m not in love with you.”
“Only a matter of time.” You smile before changes to something more subdued, a bit more serious. “You wanna talk about what’s actually been bugging you for the last week?”
Bucky looks at you wearily. “The tarot cards tell you something?”
You eye him. “Not more than what’s obvious. Wanna talk about it?”
He swallows, throat suddenly feeling like it's closing in on itself. 
“No.”
“Alrighty.” 
You say nothing more than that, leaving the both of you in relative quiet, save for the buzz of the warm fluorescent light above. 
Bucky takes an awkward seat next to you on the floor.
You pry open an eye to look at him in suspicion.
“Y’mind?” he manges.
“Mind what?”
He gestures to himself uncomforably, readiy to jump up and leave at any second.
You observe him for a second, and for once he stares back with no irritation in his look, just permission.
“No, you can sit.” You close your eyes. “So long as you don’t tell anyone else 'bout this place.” 
If there’s anything Bucky’s good at, it’s keeping a secret. 
He settles back into the shelf with an exhale, letting the weight of day roll off his shoulders.
You wordlessly slide a thermos towards him. He doesn’t even have to open it to know it’s the damn soup from that afternoon.
And if he’s being honest, it doesn’t taste that bad at all. 
Tumblr media
here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing!
to keep up with updates for this fic and others, please follow @shurisneakersupdates and turn on post notifications!
Next part
413 notes · View notes
julietsf1 · 5 months ago
Text
All is Fair in Love and Pastries - Kenan Yıldız x Reader
Tumblr media
summary: She came to Munich for romance and got ghosted instead. Now, all she has left is a non-refundable ticket, a wounded ego, and an ongoing feud with a man who stole her last pretzel. (8k words)
content: serendipity, slight enemies-to-lovers, unexpected chemistry, teasing, fluff :)
AN: getting that real life inspo lmao I'm actually still going to Munich this weekend as my ticket is non refundable :') bet im gonna go shopping tho!! have a lovely day darlings <3
_______________________________________
I stared at my phone for the hundredth time that day, hoping—no, praying—for a notification. A single message. A carrier pigeon, even. Anything to prove that I hadn’t just imagined the last 5 months of my relationship.
Nothing.
Just the same empty screen, as quiet and indifferent as the man who swore he loved me five days ago.
I refreshed our chat anyway, like that would suddenly make a difference. Maybe my WiFi was acting up. Maybe he had texted, and the message was just... stuck in the digital abyss, waiting to be delivered.
Nope. Still nothing.
I sighed dramatically and flopped back onto my bed, holding my phone above me like it might suddenly start explaining itself.
It had been four days since my boyfriend—ex-boyfriend? Current ghost?—had last texted me. Four whole days. No explanation, no excuse, not even the cowardice of a half-assed breakup text.
Just... radio silence.
Besides the instagram stories of his friends, where he was seemingly having the time of his life clubbing and going to basketball matches.
The man who, less than a week ago, had been telling me he missed me so much, that he couldn’t wait to see me, had apparently decided I no longer existed.
Cool. Very cool.
I unlocked my phone and stared at my last message to him. A simple:
"What time are you picking me up from the airport <3"
Sent. Read. Ignored.
I clenched my jaw and rolled onto my stomach, glaring at my laptop screen where my non-refundable plane ticket sat in my email inbox. A round-trip flight from Nice to Munich, purchased in what I now recognized as the stupidest burst of romantic optimism I’d ever had. 
What was I supposed to do now? Cancel? Waste the money and sit at home, marinating in my own heartbreak like some tragic rom-com protagonist?
Absolutely not.
He may have ghosted me, but I’d be damned if I let some spineless man ruin my weekend. If nothing else, I was going to Munich. I had been there quite often for him anyway; I can figure out town for myself. And if nothing else, I was going to eat overpriced pastries, wander through fancy boutiques, and romanticize the hell out of my heartbreak.
So that’s exactly what I did.
I packed my bags and boarded the plane with all the enthusiasm of someone heading to their own public execution.
Munich was cold, and I was hungry—a dangerous combination for my already fragile mood.
I had spent the last hour walking through Englischer Garten, trying to shake off the lingering irritation of being ghosted. Fresh air was supposed to be good for you, right? It was supposed to clear your head, restore balance, whatever.
Did it work?
Not even a little.
I even stopped by the Eisbachwelle, where wetsuit-clad lunatics flung themselves into freezing water, attempting to surf a man-made wave in the middle of the city. I lingered for a while, waiting for the sight of someone wiping out spectacularly to cheer me up. A little Schadenfreude, as the Germans call it.
But even that failed me.
A guy faceplanted so hard that his board smacked him in the ribs, and all I felt was secondhand embarrassment. Not a single drop of joy.
Which meant I had officially lost my edge.
I needed a reset. Something warm, salty, buttery, preferably in the shape of a large pretzel.
So when I spotted a small bakery stand in Marienplatz, I knew what had to be done.
There it was. The last Brezn.
Golden brown, perfectly crisp on the outside, still steaming slightly. It looked like a hug in food form. The kind of thing that could turn your entire day around, that could restore faith in humanity, that could—
A hand shot out at the same time as mine.
Before I could react, the pretzel thief had already handed over his cash, nodding a polite danke to the vendor as if he hadn't just robbed me blind in broad daylight.
I stood there, hand still hovering mid-air, fingers closing around absolutely nothing.
The guy—the criminal in question—didn’t even hesitate. He just took a bite, slow and deliberate, as if he were performing for a food commercial.
I should have just let it go. But I was cold, hungry, and, quite frankly, on the verge of snapping.
“Excuse me?” I said, my voice teetering dangerously close to customer service polite.
He finally turned toward me, mid-chew, like he hadn’t just committed culinary theft.
Up close, he was—unfortunately—pretty easy to look at. Tall, broad-shouldered, with sharp features softened only slightly by a full head of thick, dark blonde hair. The kind of guy who looked like he belonged in an expensive ad campaign, modeling watches he probably didn't even know how to read.
His gaze flicked down at me, scanning me with the casual arrogance of a man who had never had to fight for the last anything in his life.
“Problem?”
I crossed my arms. “You just stole my Brezn.”
He glanced down at it. Then, without even a hint of remorse, ripped off another piece and tossed it into his mouth.
“Oh?” he said, chewing. “Didn’t see your name on it.”
I let out a slow breath through my nose. “You cut the line.”
He shrugged. “I don’t wait in lines.”
I squinted at him. “Oh, wow. That must be so difficult for you.”
“It is,” he replied, entirely serious, before popping another bite into his mouth.
I stared at him. He stared back.
This was a test from the universe.
“I think I deserve it more,” he said finally, still looking alarmingly relaxed about this whole thing.
“Oh yeah?” I deadpanned. “And why’s that?”
He licked a bit of salt off his thumb—unnecessarily slowly, might I add—before replying, “I’m barely ever home. Haven’t had one of these in months.”
I exhaled sharply, glancing at the vendor like maybe—just maybe—there was another pretzel hiding in a secret stash somewhere. But no. This was it.
This stranger had not only taken the last Brezn but was now making a compelling case as to why he deserved it more.
I had two choices:
1.     Accept defeat like a normal, functioning adult.
2.     Die on this hill.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t feeling particularly mature today.
“Well,” I said, shifting my weight onto one leg. “I actually had a really rough week. So if we’re doing the who deserves it more competition, I’m pretty sure I win.”
He raised an eyebrow, looking far too amused for someone who had just ruined my day. “Oh yeah? What happened?”
I opened my mouth, then hesitated.
 “Let’s just say I’ve had a series of unfortunate events that have led me here, to this exact moment, where all I wanted—all I needed—was a Brezn.” I gestured toward the offending baked good, still clutched in his ridiculously nice hands. “And yet, here we are.”
He considered that for a moment, like he was actually entertaining the idea of handing it over.
Then, after a beat, he simply swallowed, dusted the salt from his fingers, and said, “Still not giving it to you.”
I blinked. “You’re actually the worst.”
“Probably,” he agreed, unbothered.
And then—because apparently, this interaction wasn’t infuriating enough—he shot me a quick smirk, turned on his heel, and walked away.
With my pretzel.
I watched his retreating figure, the back of his stupidly nice jacket, the annoyingly confident way he walked, and considered my life choices.
Maybe I should have just tripped him.
By the time I reached Jamal’s apartment, I had mostly let go of the pretzel theft.
Mostly.
Fine, not at all, but I was telling myself that because I refused to let some random bread bandit ruin my entire weekend.
I rang the doorbell, and within seconds, the door swung open to reveal Jamal Musiala—failed Raya date turned best mate.
We had met on the app ages ago, but within the first five minutes of real-life conversation, it was abundantly clear that we were better off as friends. No awkward tension, no will-they-won’t-they—just immediate sibling energy.
And when he heard about my spectacular disaster, he didn’t even hesitate.
"Cancel the hotel. My guest room is free. You’re staying with me."
Which was how I ended up here, standing in his doorway while he pulled me into a quick hug.
"Yo! Finally made it," he said, immediately pulling me into a hug. 
"Survived another international flight," I sighed, stepping inside and already feeling the tension in my shoulders ease.
He grabbed my bag, tossing it near the door like it was his personal mission to make sure I did absolutely nothing for myself this weekend. "Long day?"
"You have no idea," I muttered, collapsing onto the couch. "Between the baby on the flight and some guy testing my patience on the streets of Munich, I was one bad moment away from throwing hands."
Jamal raised an eyebrow, already amused. "Define ‘testing your patience.’"
I waved a hand. "Eh, some random dickhead cut in front of me at a bakery. Took the last Brezn. Very tragic. Anyway, I’m over it now."
Jamal snorted. "You don’t sound over it."
"I’ve grown as a person," I said solemnly, grabbing the tea he handed me. "Anyway, enough about me. What’s new? Got any hot gossip?"
"Nothing as dramatic as your bread wars," he teased, settling into the chair across from me. "But I’m still reeling over the fact that you thought long-distance dating was a good idea."
I sighed, taking a long sip of my tea. "Alright, go on. Get it out of your system."
He smirked. "No, no, I just think it’s inspiring. You—who has approximately zero patience for time-wasters—thought dating someone five countries away was a solid plan."
I gave him a look. "It made sense at the time!"
Jamal raised an eyebrow. "Did it?"
I groaned. "Yes! In theory, long-distance means built-in space. No pressure to see each other all the time, no risk of losing yourself in the relationship. You still get your own life. It’s all very mature, very evolved."
"Ah yes," he nodded seriously, "a relationship with absolutely no quality time. Revolutionary."
I ignored him. "It worked perfectly for me."
Jamal leaned forward, grinning. "I think you’re saying he just didn’t make you fall head over heels properly."
"I’m saying it was a noble experiment that failed," I corrected.
"You rationalize love like it’s a business deal," he said, shaking his head. "I bet you made a whole pros and cons list before agreeing to this relationship."
I pursed my lips.
Jamal’s eyes widened. "Oh my God. You did."
"It was a very casual list," I mumbled into my mug.
He threw his head back, cackling. "You’re mental."
I scowled. "Some of us like to make informed decisions, Jamal."
"And some of us," he grinned, "realize that love isn’t an investment portfolio. It just happens."
I squinted at him. "That sounds like something people say when they want me to shut up."
"That too," he admitted, still smirking. "Anyway, I invited a friend over for FIFA later—hope you don’t mind."
I waved a hand lazily. "No problem. I’m gonna take a long shower first anyway."
The shower did its job. By the time I stepped out, warm and wrapped in one of Jamal’s oversized hoodies, I felt lighter. Like maybe this weekend wasn’t a complete disaster. Maybe I could just enjoy being in Munich, enjoy my friend’s company, and ignore the nagging feeling that I had flown here for absolutely no reason.
Then I stepped into the living room.
And froze.
Because sitting on Jamal’s couch, controller in hand, was none other than the Brezn thief himself.
I stopped so abruptly I nearly slid on the hardwood floor.
He looked up at me mid-game, one hand casually flicking the joystick, the other resting against the back of the couch like he had all the time in the world. His dark blond waves were slightly damp, like he’d just showered too, and he was wearing a black long-sleeve shirt that looked unfairly good on him.
For a split second, I thought maybe the universe was punishing me. That this was some kind of elaborate karmic joke.
Then he grinned, slow and lazy.
“Oh,” he said, far too casually for my liking. “It’s you again.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you following me?”
Jamal—completely oblivious to the mounting tension in the room—paused the game and looked between us. “Wait. You two already know each other?”
The man—who I now knew was not just some random bakery menace but an actual acquaintance of Jamal’s—stretched his arms out in front of him like he was completely at ease, shooting me a look that was somewhere between amused and smug.
“We met earlier,” he said, still grinning like he found this whole thing hilarious. “Had a little disagreement over a pretzel.”
I crossed my arms. “I wouldn’t call it a disagreement. More like an act of blatant food theft.”
Jamal let out a loud laugh. “Oh my God. You’re the Brezn guy?”
I turned to him, betrayed. “You’re taking his side?”
“Oh, I’m on no one’s side,” Jamal said, still grinning. “I just can’t believe you’ve been ranting about this all evening, and it turns out it was Kenan.”
Kenan.
I turned back to him, my brain finally catching up. Kenan Yıldız. The name suddenly clicked into place. Juventus player. Young star. He had been on all the football news headlines lately, yet I hadn’t recognized him when we’d been too busy arguing over baked goods.
Kenan leaned back against the couch, clearly enjoying every second of this.
“If it helps,” he said, “I did think about giving it to you.”
I scoffed. “Wow. So generous.”
“Didn’t, though,” he added, eyes gleaming.
I inhaled sharply, mentally weighing the pros and cons of throwing a pillow at his head.
Jamal, meanwhile, was still thoroughly entertained. “Alright, alright. Before you two start a war in my living room, sit down. We’re playing FIFA.”
I dropped onto the couch, watching as he passed a controller to Kenan. “Oh, fantastic. I get to witness high-quality gameplay firsthand.”
Kenan barely glanced at me as he selected his team. “That sounded sarcastic.”
I took a sip of my drink. “That’s because it was.”
Jamal grinned. “You talk like you’ve seen him play before.”
I gestured toward the screen. "The evidence is right there. You haven’t even started playing, and I can already see the classic overconfidence."
Jamal burst out laughing. “Oh, this is great. I love this."
Kenan tilted his head slightly. “You think I’m bad at FIFA?”
I leaned back, stretching my legs out. “I think you think you’re good, which is way worse.”
Jamal wheezed. “Mate, she’s calling you a fraud.”
Kenan finally smirked, something sharper in his expression now. “Alright then. Play me.”
I scoffed. “Why would I waste my time proving something I already know?”
Kenan handed me a controller. “Because I think you’re all talk.”
Jamal let out a low whistle. “Damn. You gonna let him say that?”
I squinted at Kenan, assessing. He looked too confident, too pleased with himself, like he had already decided I was going to lose.
Big mistake.
I stretched my arms, feigning boredom. "Fine. But when I win, you’re buying me a Brezn."
His grin widened. “Deal.”
Jamal leaned forward, rubbing his hands together. “Alright, this is officially the most invested I’ve ever been in FIFA.” 
The match started, and I quickly realized three things:
1.     Kenan was as smug as humanly possible.
2.     I was not as bad as he expected.
3.     I was still losing.
“You sure you’ve played this before?” he teased, passing circles around my defense.
I gritted my teeth. “Yes.”
“You sure?”
“Shut up.”
And then—he scored.
Jamal burst out laughing as I dramatically collapsed against the couch. “I’m going to throw this controller at your head.”
Kenan grinned. “You’re just mad because you’re losing.”
I exhaled, resetting. “Alright. I’m locked in now.”
Kenan smirked. “Oh? You weren’t trying before?”
“I was warming up.”
And then—I started to figure him out.
Kenan was good, but he was also comfortable. He played like someone who expected to win—which meant he wasn’t ready for surprises.
So I gave him one.
Instead of playing safe, I started forcing mistakes. Instead of predictable attacks, I threw reckless passes forward, sprinting onto them with zero hesitation.
And then—somehow, some way—I scored.
The room went silent.
Jamal’s eyes widened. “NO WAY.”
I shot up from the couch, genuinely thrilled, throwing my arms in the air like I had just won the World Cup. “LET’S GO!”
Kenan blinked at the screen, processing. “...Alright. That was decent.”
“DECENT?” I laughed. “That was incredible. That was a masterpiece. Someone call FIFA, that was the best goal of the year.”
Jamal was dying, doubled over in laughter. “She’s actually celebrating like she won the league.”
Kenan shook his head, but he didn’t say anything.
Jamal leaned toward him. “You good, man? I think she actually rattled you.”
Kenan exhaled sharply, rolling his shoulders. “One goal means nothing.”
I grinned. “You sound stressed.”
“I’m not,” he said flatly.
“You look stressed.”
Kenan didn’t even respond. He just restarted the match, jaw set, eyes focused.
And that’s when I realized—he actually cared.
I had gotten to him.
And that fact alone made my entire weekend.
The rest of the game was pure chaos. I spent the entire match talking, commentating my every move like I was a sports announcer, making Jamal cry with laughter while Kenan did his best to block me out.
And then—somehow, against all odds—I scored again.
Jamal fell to the floor. “SHE DID IT AGAIN.”
I jumped up, clapping my hands together, absolutely beaming. “Someone get the cameras! Someone call ESPN!”
Kenan exhaled, dragging a hand down his face.
Jamal cackled. “I think this is the happiest I’ve ever seen her.”
Kenan looked at me then, properly looked, and for a split second, there was something undeniably fond in his gaze.
He didn’t say anything, just shook his head with a tiny, reluctant smile.
I flopped back down, grinning wildly. “Kenan, should I go pro?”
“You should retire while you’re ahead,” he muttered.
I smirked. “So you admit I’m ahead.”
Kenan sighed, picking up his drink. “I’m not talking to you anymore.”
Jamal wheezed. “Nah, man, you lost. Accept it.”
I stood up, stretching lazily. “I believe you owe me a Brezn, Yıldız.”
With a giggle, I wandered into the kitchen, grabbing a coke from the fridge, still riding the high of my victory.
Behind me, I heard Jamal got up, grabbing his phone. “Food’s almost here—I’ll go down and get it.”
The appartment was quiet now besides the sound of a controller being set down. A pause.
Then, Kenan’s voice, low and even.
“She’s unbearable.”
I grabbed a coke and turned around, only to find him already walking into the kitchen.
He moved with the kind of easy confidence that was impossible to ignore, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt slightly, like he had all the time in the world. I expected him to go for a drink himself, but he just leaned against the counter, watching me.
I raised an eyebrow, taking a slow sip. “Let me guess. You came in here to process your humiliating loss in private?”
His lips twitched. “I came in here to see if you’d finally crack and admit you got lucky.”
I scoffed, setting my drink down with dramatic emphasis. “Lucky? Oh, that’s cute. You think this was luck.”
Kenan tilted his head slightly, like he was really considering it. “Mmm. Either that, or you tricked me into underestimating you.”
I gasped, pressing a hand to my chest. “Are you suggesting I played mind games with you?”
His eyes glinted with something just shy of admiration. “I wouldn’t put it past you.”
I smirked. “You’re right. I totally did. And I’d do it again.”
Kenan’s lips curled at the edges, like he wasn’t going to give me the satisfaction of admitting anything. But his gaze flickered—just for a second—down to my mouth before locking back onto my eyes.
There was a beat of silence, not awkward but charged.
His voice was lower when he spoke again. “I’ll get you back for that.”
I raised my eyebrow. “Sure you will.”
Before he could respond, Jamal’s voice rang out from the hallway. “Food’s here!”
Kenan stepped back, running a hand through his hair before nodding toward the door. “Come on, winner. Let’s eat.”
I followed, my smirk still lingering.
For the first time all weekend, I felt genuinely good.
It had gotten late the night before. Later than expected.
Jamal had ordered food, we’d all ended up sitting around, eating, talking, and somehow, between full stomachs and heavy eyelids, Kenan had ended up crashing on the couch. It wasn’t planned—just one of those things that happened when the night stretched longer than you thought it would.
I had barely registered it at the time, already halfway asleep in Jamal’s guest room, but when I woke up the next morning and wandered into the living room, there he was.
Kenan Yıldız. In all his six-foot-something, professional athlete, half-asleep glory.
Sprawled out on the couch, one arm draped over his eyes, hair a mess of lazy curls, mouth slightly parted like he hadn’t fully re-entered consciousness yet.
I stared for a second too long, mostly because I wasn’t used to seeing him like this—soft around the edges, not smirking or arguing with me—before clearing my throat.
“You know, Jamal does have an actual guest room.”
Kenan didn’t move, just let out a low, sleep-roughened grumble that was probably a sentence in some language I didn’t speak.
I rolled my eyes, walking into the kitchen. “I’m going to get breakfast. If you’re alive in the next five minutes, feel free to come along.”
He was already pushing himself up onto his elbows, blinking like he wasn’t fully convinced the day had started yet. “Where’s Jamal?”
I grabbed my coat. “Still dead to the world.”
Kenan ran a hand through his hair, exhaling through his nose. “Smart man.”
The café was small, tucked away from the main streets, the kind of place that felt warm the second you walked in. The smell of fresh bread and espresso filled the air, and despite the morning chill outside, it was cozy, inviting, the kind of place people actually took their time in.
I relaxed a little the second I stepped inside.
Kenan scanned the space, hands in his pockets, taking it in like he was mentally scoring it. “Not bad.”
I scoffed. “Not bad? This is an elite breakfast spot.”
He smirked. “I’ll decide once I taste the food.”
I rolled my eyes but before I could continue defending my flawless café selection, I noticed a small interaction at the counter.
A barista—young, probably new—was clearly overwhelmed, trying to juggle too many things at once. She fumbled slightly with the coffee machine, hands moving fast, eyes flicking to the growing line like it was personally taunting her.
The businessman at the front, impatient and already checking his watch, let out a loud, exasperated sigh. “Jesus, is it always this slow?”
I didn’t mean to intervene.
It just kind of… happened.
I leaned slightly against the counter, offering a calm, easy smile.
“Take your time. It’s way too early for people to be this impatient.”
The words weren’t pointed, not really, but they carried just enough weight to cut through the tension.
The barista glanced at me, a flicker of relief in her expression before she nodded quickly and refocused on the drink in front of her.
The businessman, unimpressed, muttered something under his breath but dropped it, grabbing his coffee and stalking off.
Kenan, silent up until now, turned his head slightly toward me, like he was seeing me differently for the first time.
I ignored it, focusing back on the menu.
When we finally stepped up to order, the barista, still looking a little frazzled but better, managed a small, genuine smile.
“Thanks,” she murmured, adjusting her apron. “Some people are just…” She trailed off, rolling her eyes slightly, as if she couldn’t quite find the right word.
“The worst?” I offered.
She laughed. “Yeah. That.”
Kenan was still watching me, but now there was something else behind it.
Something almost amused.
“So you do have the capacity to be nice,” he mused, smirking as we stepped aside to wait for our drinks. “Interesting.”
I scoffed, stirring a sugar packet between my fingers. “I am perfectly capable of being nice.”
Kenan raised a brow, feigning deep contemplation. “Mmm. Just not to me?”
“The barista never stole my pretzel.”
He let out a low, lazy laugh, shaking his head as if he almost respected the answer. “Fair point.”
I took a sip of my coffee, pleased with myself, but before I could gloat, the barista returned, sliding an extra croissant onto our tray.
“On the house,” she said with a grin. “For being nice.”
I shot her a bright smile, but that smile slightly fell when I turned back to Kenan, I caught him watching me.
Not smirking. Not teasing.
Just looking.
It wasn’t obvious, nothing overt or lingering enough to call attention to itself. But there was something there—something unreadable, like a thought passing through his mind before he could decide what to do with it.
I frowned. “What?”
Kenan blinked, shaking his head slightly like he was resetting his expression. “Nothing.”
I squinted at him. “You’re weird.”
He smirked. “And yet, you invited me to breakfast.”
I rolled my eyes. “Because I was feeling charitable.”
Kenan took a slow sip of his coffee, eyes still flickering with something I couldn’t quite name.
“Lucky me.”
And for some reason, that sentence stayed with me longer than it should have.
The rest of the day, after dropping Jamal’s breakfast and Kenan went home, I was on a mission.
Enough sulking. Enough rehashing why I was even here. If I was going to spend a weekend away, I was going to make something of it—starting with the one thing that had never failed to lift my spirits.
Retail therapy.
Now, let’s be clear—I wasn’t the kind of person who regularly indulged in luxury shopping sprees. I was a firm believer in financial responsibility and splurging on sales.
But sometimes—just sometimes—a girl needed to treat herself.
I had no intention of actually buying anything.
But the moment I stepped inside Saint Laurent, something in me shifted.
Maybe it was the soft golden lighting, making everything look like it belonged in a dream. Maybe it was the quiet elegance of it all, the way the sales associates moved like they had all the secrets to life itself.
Or maybe, for the first time all week, I felt like I deserved something just for me.
I started with the handbags, lightly running my fingers over smooth leather and delicate gold clasps, trying to soak up the feeling of being in a place that felt so effortlessly put-together.
And then—I saw it.
It wasn’t a bag.
It was a dress.
Simple, timeless, and undeniably perfect.
I hesitated for a second, fingers hovering over the fabric, wondering if I was allowed to try something this nice on.
Then a sales associate appeared, smiling warmly. “Would you like to see how it fits?”
I bit my lip, a little shy. “Oh, I was just—”
But then, in a rare moment of self-indulgence, I nodded. “Actually… yeah. Why not?”
And that was how it started.
Five minutes later, I was standing in front of a mirror, staring at a version of myself I hadn’t seen in a while.
The dress fit like it was made for me.
It hugged just right, elegant but effortless, like I’d just thrown it on and magically looked stunning. The kind of dress that didn’t need accessories or complicated styling. It just… worked.
I smoothed my hands over the fabric, twirling just slightly, inspecting every angle.
And for the first time all weekend, I actually smiled at my reflection.
The saleswoman clasped her hands together. “That’s the one, isn’t it?”
I exhaled, still staring at myself. “You’re very good at your job.”
She laughed. "You look stunning, dear."
I let out a small, giddy giggle, the kind I hadn’t heard from myself in a while. It felt nice, to like how I looked—to do something that was just for me, without a single ounce of guilt attached.
For once, I wasn’t overthinking it.
I wasn’t analyzing whether I should or shouldn’t.
I was just happy.
So before I could talk myself out of it, I lifted my chin and said, “I’ll take it.”
As I handed over my card, I thought about where I’d wear it.
Jamal’s match tonight. The VIP box.
And then, out of nowhere, another thought crept in—one I definitely didn’t mean to have.
What if Kenan sees me in this? Surely he would be there too.
The moment the thought fully registered, warmth crept up my neck and into my cheeks.
I nearly choked on my own internal monologue.
I shook my head quickly, forcing down the blush before the saleswoman could notice.
I wasn’t buying this for him. Obviously. No. This was just for me.
…But if Kenan happened to see me in it, well.
That wasn’t my fault.
….
By the time I arrived at Allianz Arena, I felt genuinely lighter.
Maybe it was the crisp night air, the buzz of excitement in the crowd, or the fact that I was actually looking forward to something for the first time in days.
Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that I felt good in my new dress.
The stadium lights shone down as I made my way to the VIP section, clutching my pass. The energy inside was electric, fans already singing, the deep thrum of anticipation settling over the stands.
I stepped inside the box, scanning the seats for Jamal, when a familiar voice cut through the crowd.
I turned, already knowing who it was before I even saw him.
Kenan stood next to me, hands tucked casually into his pockets, his usual smirk firmly in place. The stadium lights did unfair things to his features, casting a warm glow over his already obnoxiously handsome face, and for a split second, I hated that he had the nerve to look like that in any setting.
His gaze flicked down ever so slightly, scanning my dress before he met my eyes again.
“You look good.”
I blinked, caught slightly off guard by the lack of sarcasm in his voice.
Then, as if he could sense me registering the compliment too much, he added, “Unexpected, really.”
There it was.
I let out a scoff, placing a hand on my chest. “Oh my God, Kenan. That was almost a normal, genuine compliment. You must be exhausted.”
He hummed, nodding. “Yeah, I don’t know what came over me. Won’t happen again.”
“Shame,” I teased. “I was really enjoying the moment.”
He shook his head, biting back a smile. “So, what brings you here? Finally expanding your horizons past FIFA?”
I crossed my arms. “Actually, I’m here for Jamal. Some of us support our friends.”
Kenan nodded slowly. “Mmm. And yet… you’re standing here, talking to me instead.”
I opened my mouth to fire back, but before I could, the stadium erupted in cheers, the players stepping onto the field.
I turned my attention to the match, trying to pretend I wasn’t slightly flustered.
Kenan, however, didn’t seem as interested in the game as he was in continuing his favorite pastime: annoying me for fun.
“So, be honest,” he murmured, leaning in slightly. “You understand the rules of football, right?”
I gave him a dry look. “Wow. Incredible assumption. You see a woman at a match and immediately assume she doesn’t get it?”
Kenan grinned, unbothered. “No, I just see you at a match and assume you’re mostly here for the snacks.”
I gasped. “Excuse me, I am deeply invested in Jamal’s career.”
Kenan hummed, clearly not convinced. “Okay. What position does he play?”
I stared at him. “...Defense?”
Kenan smirked. “He’s a midfielder.”
I groaned, throwing my hands up. “Alright, whatever, I’m here for vibes and friendship. Sue me.”
Kenan chuckled, his eyes twinkling with pure amusement.
For once, I didn’t feel annoyed by it.
I turned back to the field, taking in the sheer energy of the stadium, the rush of excitement that rippled through the crowd.
And out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kenan watching me.
I glanced at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be watching the match?”
His smirk didn’t waver. “I am.”
Something warm and fluttery settled in my stomach before I could stop it.
By the time the match ended, I was happily full of stadium energy but tragically underfed.
The VIP box had food, sure, but it was the kind of small, fancy bites that looked better than they tasted. You know, the kind that was supposed to be "elevated dining" but just made you angry and hungrier.
I popped another tiny canapé into my mouth and sighed dramatically.
Kenan, who had been watching me struggle with barely concealed amusement, finally smirked. “You’re starving.”
I turned to him, offended. “I am not starving.”
Kenan gestured lazily to the criminally small appetizer on my plate. “You just inhaled that in one bite.”
I crossed my arms. “Maybe I have a very refined palate.”
He snorted. “Right. That’s why you look physically betrayed after every bite.”
I sighed, defeated. “Okay, fine. Maybe I’m a little hungry.”
Kenan hummed like he was deep in thought, then glanced at his watch.
“Come on.”
I frowned. “What?”
He was already heading toward the exit, looking over his shoulder like it was obvious. “We’re getting food.”
I blinked. “Wait, seriously?”
Kenan chuckled, his expression full of mischief. “Trust me, anything outside is an upgrade from whatever that was.”
I tilted my head. “And what if this is an elaborate scheme to lure me into a suspiciously empty street?”
His smirk deepened. “I’d like to think if I wanted you gone, I’d be more creative than that.”
I considered it. “That’s… unsettlingly fair.”
Kenan’s car smelled unfairly nice—not in an overwhelming, aggressively expensive way, but in that effortless ‘I have my life together’ way. It was all clean leather, faint cologne, and something subtly fresh, like pine or citrus, the kind of scent that made you want to breathe a little deeper just to keep it around a second longer.
I did not breathe deeper.
Instead, I focused on the city outside, on the soft blur of streetlights streaking across the window as we drove through a quieter part of Munich. The streets were mostly empty, the chaos of match day behind us, and for the first time in what felt like ages, I wasn’t feeling weighed down by my own thoughts.
I was full, I was warm, and for once, I wasn’t thinking about him.
And then, Kenan spoke.
“So.” His voice was casual, almost offhanded, like he wasn’t about to upend my peace. “You never actually said why you were in Munich.”
I blinked, looking away from the window. “What?”
He glanced at me briefly, his fingers drumming idly against the steering wheel before he turned back to the road. “You don’t seem like the type to just book a random flight for fun.”
I scoffed, feigning offense. “Excuse me, I am very spontaneous.”
Kenan hummed like he didn’t believe me. “Right. And how many of these ‘totally random’ solo trips have you taken before?”
I opened my mouth. Paused. Frowned.
“…That’s not important.”
Kenan chuckled, shaking his head. “So, you’re telling me you woke up one day and thought, Munich sounds nice?”
I huffed dramatically, crossing my arms. “Maybe I did.”
Kenan shot me a pointed look that said ‘I know you’re full of shit.’
I exhaled, shifting in my seat. “Fine. I was supposed to see someone.”
He didn’t react—just kept driving, waiting.
It was almost worse than if he had immediately jumped in with a question.
I sighed, resting my head against the window. “But, uh… turns out he didn’t feel like seeing me back. And I had the ticket booked already.”
The words felt… lighter now, like they didn’t hold the same weight as they did a few days ago. Maybe because I’d said them out loud before. Maybe because I wasn’t alone with them anymore.
Kenan’s fingers flexed on the steering wheel, his jaw tightening for half a second before he spoke.
“Idiot.”
I blinked, turning toward him. “What?”
His voice was even, casual, but the way he said it was too sure, too final. “The guy. He’s an idiot.”
I let out a small, surprised laugh, shaking my head. “You don’t even know him.”
Kenan didn’t hesitate. “Don’t have to.”
Something about his certainty made my stomach twist.
I licked my lips, choosing to ignore the warm feeling creeping into my chest. “You’re very confident in that assessment.”
Kenan finally glanced at me, just for a moment, then looked back at the road. “Yeah. I am.”
The air in the car felt different all of a sudden, not uncomfortable, but charged.
I opened my mouth, about to say something to break whatever this was, when—
Kenan reached into the backseat, grabbing something, and tossed a small paper bag into my lap.
I frowned down at it. “What’s this?”
Kenan kept his eyes on the road, one hand resting lazily on the gear shift. “Something I saw.”
I gave him a suspicious look before reaching inside.
The first thing I felt was something soft.
And when I pulled it out, I actually gasped.
It was a Jellycat plush.
But not just any Jellycat plush.
A pretzel-shaped one.
Ridiculously soft, golden brown with tiny embroidered salt flecks, its round body twisted into a perfect loop, like an adorable, carb-shaped hug.
I stared at it, completely thrown.
My brain short-circuited.
I turned to Kenan, wide-eyed. “You—” I stopped, shaking my head, too stunned to be normal about this. “You got me a Jellycat pretzel?”
Kenan shrugged, like this was completely normal behavior. “Figured you’d appreciate it.”
I blinked down at my lap, still gripping the plush like it might disappear if I let go. “I—this is—I don’t even know what to say.”
Kenan smirked. “Wow. A rare moment.”
I ignored him, still reeling. “Wait. How did you—” My eyes narrowed as the realization hit. “Jamal.”
Kenan huffed a small laugh. “Jamal.”
I groaned, slumping back against my seat, embarrassed beyond belief. “I swear, he’s worse than an actual gossip column.”
“He told me the full pretzel tragedy while you were shopping this morning.” Kenan’s lips twitched. “Said you looked genuinely devastated when I took the last one.”
I gasped, pressing a hand to my chest. “I was devastated.”
Kenan let out a real laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, I got that impression. Little drama queen.”
I glanced back down at the plush, running my fingers over its ridiculously soft surface, warmth blooming in my chest for an entirely different reason now.
I swallowed. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do this, you know?”
Kenan exhaled through his nose, his smirk fading slightly. “I know.”
There was a small pause, then—
“I wanted to. I like to see you smile”
I froze.
Just for a second.
It wasn’t even what he said.
It was how he said it. Like it was simple. Like it wasn’t a big deal.
But it was a big deal.
I looked down at the Jellycat pretzel, tracing my thumb over one of the little embroidered salt flecks.
Kenan cleared his throat, like he wanted to move the conversation along before I got weird about it.
“I, uh—” He rubbed his jaw, focusing back on the road. “I couldn’t exactly smuggle a fresh one into the match, so I figured this would keep you warm in a different way.”
I swallowed, my grip tightening on the plush.
Somehow, slowly over the last few days, my heart stopped feeling so heavy.
I glanced at Kenan, and for once, he wasn’t watching me with his usual smirk or teasing expression.
He was just watching.
Like he was still trying to figure out why I looked so surprised.
Like he didn’t realize he had just completely disarmed me.
I turned back to the window, hiding my smile.
Kenan shifted in his seat, adjusting the air conditioning like he suddenly needed something to do with his hands.
He still hadn’t started the drive back to Jamal’s.
Good. I wasn’t in a rush to get anywhere.
I woke up earlier than expected, the kind of early where the world still felt half-asleep, where the streets outside hummed quietly with the first stirrings of the city.
The apartment was still, save for the occasional distant sound—pipes groaning as someone used the shower, the soft buzz of an electric toothbrush in another room.
And then—
A loud "OH, COME ON!" followed by rapid button-mashing and what I could only assume was a FIFA-related disaster.
I groaned, pressing my face into the pillow, trying to will myself back to sleep.
It didn’t work.
Instead, my hand reached instinctively for something beside me, fingers brushing against—
Oh.
I cracked one eye open.
There, sitting right beside my pillow, was the Jellycat pretzel plush.
Warmth bloomed immediately in my chest, completely uninvited.
It had been exactly where I left it, tucked neatly beside me like some ridiculous comfort object. I had slept next to it. Like some sentimental idiot.
I exhaled sharply, flopping onto my back and covering my face with my hands. “I’m losing it.”
Jamal’s distant FIFA agony continued in the other room.
I peeked at the plush again, this time reaching over to pick it up, squeezing it absently in my hands.
It was too soft. Too huggable. Too… thoughtful.
Kenan had really gone out of his way to find something like this. He had listened to Jamal’s retelling of my pretzel tragedy and then acted on it.
That thought alone did something weird to my stomach.
I needed to leave before I started reading into things.
After a long, slightly too-hot shower and a reluctant change into travel clothes, I zipped up my suitcase and walked into the living room, where Jamal was still intensely focused on FIFA.
“Morning,” I greeted, adjusting my bag strap.
Jamal barely looked up. “Yo. Ready for your flight?”
I nodded, shifting my weight. “Yeah, time to go back home. Thanks for letting me crash.”
He finally paused his game, stretching lazily. “No problem. You’re welcome to crash here whenever your love life implodes.”
I gasped, fake offended. “Excuse me, that was one time.”
Jamal smirked. “That was this time.”
I glared at him. “You’re very lucky I don’t have time to fight you about this.”
Jamal grinned, unpausing his game. “Safe flight, man. Oh—Kenan’s out front, by the way.”
I froze mid-step, my brain short-circuiting. “What?”
Jamal tilted his head toward the window. “I think he’s waiting for you.”
I blinked rapidly, my stomach flipping for reasons I refused to acknowledge.
Kenan was… waiting for me?
I didn’t even have time to process what that meant before my feet were already moving, slipping on my coat and heading for the door.
And sure enough—
When I stepped outside, there he was.
Leaning against his car, hands tucked into his pockets, his posture completely at ease, like he had been there for a while and had all the time in the world.
The moment he saw me, his lips curved into a smirk, like he had been expecting me to be surprised.
“You’re awake,” he said, as if he had any reason to assume I wouldn’t be.
I scoffed, shifting my bag higher on my shoulder. “What are you doing here?”
Kenan shrugged. “Driving you to the airport.”
I blinked. “I—what?”
He tilted his head slightly, amused by my confusion. “What, you thought I’d let you navigate Munich public transport with a suitcase?”
I narrowed my eyes. “I was literally just going to call an Uber.”
Kenan rolled his eyes, exhaling through his nose. “That’s boring.”
I stared at him, the weight of this entire situation settling into my brain.
Kenan—who had no reason to be here—had woken up, driven across the city, and was now waiting for me outside, completely unbothered, like this was just something he did.
I adjusted my coat, voice quieter. “You know you don’t have to do this, right?”
Kenan looked at me like I had just said something profoundly stupid. “Yeah. I know.”
I didn’t know what to do with that.
So instead of overanalyzing it to death, I just sighed, adjusting my bag.
“Fine. Let’s go.
When we finally pulled up to the departures area, Kenan shifted into park, tapping his fingers lightly against the steering wheel.
I unbuckled my seatbelt slowly, suddenly feeling like this was weirdly… final.
Like leaving now meant returning to normal.
And for some reason, I wasn’t ready for that.
I turned to him, opening my mouth to say… something.
But before I could, Kenan reached into his coat pocket and pulled something out.
A tiny bag of pretzels.
I blinked, thrown completely off guard. “You—”
Kenan smirked, holding it out toward me. “Figured you might need some snacks for the flight.”
I stared at him, something warm creeping into my chest before I could stop it.
I took the bag, shaking my head. “You’re trying to buy my goodwill?”
He leaned back against the seat. “You love it.”
I scoffed, but couldn’t suppress a smile. “Debatable.”
Kenan’s gaze flicked to my carry-on, and before I could register what he was about to say, his smirk deepened slightly.
“Did you pack the Jellycat?”
My face immediately heated up.
I opened my mouth—to lie, obviously—but Kenan just let out a laugh, shaking his head. “You did.”
I huffed. “No comment.”
Kenan’s lips twitched. “Good. It means my plan worked.”
I frowned. “Plan?”
He nodded toward the plush peeking slightly from the top of my bag. “Now you have to think about me every time you see it.”
My brain short-circuited.
I had no response to that.
I huffed, adjusting my bag. “Okay, well. Thanks for the ride, I guess.”
Kenan nodded once, casual as ever. “See you around.”
I hesitated for half a second.
Then, before I could stop myself—
I turned back to him one last time.
And said, without thinking:
“Don’t miss me too much.”
Kenan’s smirk was slow, lazy, and way too confident.
“No promises.”
I stared at him, my brain doing at least fifteen flips, before turning on my heel and walking inside before I could make this worse for myself.
I had no idea what had just happened.
All I knew was that my face was burning, and I was smiling like an idiot.
Back home, everything was exactly as I had left it.
The same apartment, the same slightly-too-loud coffee machine sputtering in protest before coming to life, the same half-empty fridge reminding me that I should really start grocery shopping like an adult.
Everything had resumed as normal.
And yet—
I found myself standing in my bedroom, suitcase still half-unpacked, as if some part of me refused to fully settle back into my routine. My fingers ran absentmindedly over the plush pretzel sitting on my bed, its soft, squishy loops an absurd but strangely comforting reminder of the past weekend.
I wasn’t supposed to still be thinking about him.
I wasn’t supposed to be replaying conversations in my head, breaking apart the way he had looked at me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention, the small shifts in his expression, the casual, almost careless way he had handed me that bag with the Jellycat and the pretzel, as if it hadn’t meant anything at all.
I let out a frustrated sigh, squeezing the plush against my chest like it was somehow responsible for all of this.
“You’re not helping,” I muttered at it.
Unsurprisingly, the Jellycat did not have a response.
I groaned, flopping onto my bed and burying my face into my pillow, as if that would somehow smother my thoughts into submission.
This was ridiculous.
I was being ridiculous.
I had gone to Munich with a very specific reason—to see someone who had ultimately proved to be unworthy of my time. But somehow, I had left with something else entirely.
A new inside joke. A new routine. A new, completely inconvenient way my stomach flipped whenever I got a text notification.
Which was precisely why I should not have reached for my phone just now.
But I did.
And when I turned it over—
There it was.
A new message.
From Kenan.
I hesitated for a beat, my thumb hovering over the screen, already knowing that whatever it said would only make things worse for me.
Then, finally, I clicked it open.
Kenan: Buy a nice winter coat.
I frowned, sitting up slightly as I typed back.
Me: Why?
The reply came almost instantly, as if he had been waiting for me to answer.
Kenan: I’m playing in the Netherlands next Wednesday.
Another message followed before I even had time to process the first.
Kenan: I need you to see how much better I am than Jamal, obviously.
I stared at my screen, my heart doing a very, very inconvenient thing, something warm and fluttery and deeply annoying settling into my chest.
I didn’t respond right away.
Because I already knew what I was going to do.
I was going.
190 notes · View notes
kaycode1999 · 1 year ago
Text
For anyone who might be saying Bee is out of character in the trailer let me remind you of the batshit insane things he's done in the movies and TV shows
Drove up to the dealership parking lot as Sam was looking at cars and threw his door into the car next to him
blasted a frequency that shattered the glass on every other car in the vicinity scaring Bobby Bolivia enough to let them take it for $4000
Tried to wingman Sam by stalling his engine and pulling over to the side of the road while playing sexual healing
Chased Sam up onto the walkway while he was riding a bike
Threw a hissy fit about being called a crappy camero and scanned a newer model
Essentially relieved himself all over agent Simmons because he was rude
Drove to where Sam was at college and drove up onto a bush in front of the frat house where Sam was at the party before blaring the car alarm
Started going through different songs about how the “ girl” who got in with Sam was bad news and Sam was on the verge of being assaulted or cheating
Slammed what he thought was a human girls head into the dashboard before spraying what Im assuming is coolant on her because she insinuated she was going to get Sam to cheat on Mikayla
Threw himself out of a plane and used a dead Decepticon to soften his fall
Accidentally destroyed a major portion of Charlie’s house
Smeared egg all over the car of Charlie's bully before punching the roof and jumping on it crushing the car
Ran into a tree at high speed because he turned off his lights
Joined illegal street racing
Fought a modified human and lost
Used a random truck like a scooter to go after knockout because he lost his T-Cog and ended up going over a cliff
Drove off a ship and blasted a Decepticon ship in mid air
Did the dirty dancing chair thing in a paramount commercial https://youtu.be/QWRkBv4zJpU?si=6DUH2Zcpr2BXjA5T (I linked the commercial because it has me dying laughing every time)
youtube
Joined an underground bot fighting ring to find Grimlock
Shot the tape for never gonna give you up out of his cassette player the second it started playing nearly taking Charlie’s head off
Angrily did donuts in front of the stinger prototype
Forced his steering wheel into Shanes's face when he called Bee’s alt-mode uncool
Got so angry when the stinger commercial called him old and ugly he kicked down the prototype
Is generally the most conspicuous bot to exist and is very bad at doing the blending-in thing given he's an Autobot scout
I’ll add more if I think of them but Bumblebee is just a tiny feral gremlin and I love him so very much. Each iteration of him is perfect
530 notes · View notes
vyzz-undercover · 9 months ago
Text
someone left my cage open quick
[cato/f!ambassador]
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5)
(8,800ish words) (holy fucking kill me mate)
CONTENT WARNINGS:
•not dubcon? [omg they've grown guys]
•hints of size kink
•vaginal fingering [on herself]
•(so i guess) masturbation
•oral [m receiving]
•intercourse [M/F]
•discussions on contraception
•discussions on pregnancy
•mild possessive behaviour
•hint of slapping (he deserves it)
•mild horror themes [warp ptsd]
•tumblr's cancerous fucking formatting as always
———————————————————————————————————
hi guys :3 guess what i got you all good im not dead,,, the gods have let me live another fateful fortnight (fortnite) also i love you all so so so much pls enjoy!!!! @moodymisty, @lemon-russ, @bispecsual, @the-raven-lady, @egrets-not-regrets, @pluvio-tea, @kit-williams, @thevoidscreams, @mothiir, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sinistermojo, @beckyninja, @passionofthesith, @cosmic-cryptid-from-beyond, @allergymoose, @scriberye, @yestheantichrist, @ma1dmer, @cucunot!!! if anyone wants off or on taglist lmk!!! im more than happy to adjust this in post OK BYE ILY ALL AGAINNNN!!!
———————————————————————————————————
There should be higher security in this wing, Cato notes.
But compared to the rest of the vessel, it's safe—as in, there's senior Admech's leaving their doors open while they buff out the scratches in their mechadendrites sort of safe. He bets seeing a mouse around here would cause a stir. Honestly, he can fully render the pict in his mind of some haughty Seneschal turning their nose up to his Primarch because of that.
Cato can imagine the exact following happening, 'eugh, why doesn't Lord Guilliman virus bomb the pipes? That's what I had done on my pissy little rowboat of a void ship!' in that nasally, all too predictable tone that every single bloody one of them seems to have bar maybe a few.
Cato grits his teeth at the thought alone.
But it is safe. You're safe, here. He trusts his Primarch to ensure that for you. Being so cozy to Guilliman as a baseline certainly has its benefits. This place is good for you, unlike the bowels of the ship—where even Cato avoids going.
Not for any risk to his persons, of course. But simply because of the tightness of the hallways. And the stink of baseline sweat and oil that practically sticks to his senses for days afterward.
It's most certainly not because the low lumen count sends his mind wandering. And the flickering—damn those flickering lights—they make him uneasy. The impossible chance they'll flicker out and reveal a reality awash with fleshed decking is completely unrealistic. But still, down in those depths, he feels like he's stuck in a dying vessel, cracked at the bottom like a broken vase, leaking. Adrift, on a storm laden sea with the blackness pouring in—where within that black there is a barely perceptible colour in infinite abundance, like the phosphenes behind closed eyes—and there are eyes in that ocean—so, so many eyes, fixed with the glowing, molten hues of the warp itself; their shades a melted tapestry, a solvent thing, ever-changing.
Eyes and screaming. It sometimes returns to Cato like a bad case of tinnitus, ringing and shrill—but the mind crafts horror that pale reality in comparison, and in that wretched plane of existence those mental horrors bore real talons, and real hooves and real thought—and the caterwauling of its victims—his brothers—ever came from maws heaving and frothing in agony.
Cato hears himself stumble and slam a palm into the side wall to steady himself, but doesn't feel it. He feels like he's in free-fall, as if the ground has opened up and swallowed him hale and whole.
All time in that abominable realm was rendered simply nonexistent, without matter nor meaning to behold to any living creature. Naught but the notion of being practically alone and how chilling it was spiralling down the depthless lake of energy remained. No resistance of air lent to the sensation of plummeting, but he was sure he was for reason beyond any form of tongue. The distance was irrelevant and utterly unmeasurable. But the warp had no edge, no limit; and as it lacked a limit, the depth of him sinking was surely unbounded—just as it was eerily silent. A merciless wall of mute, dark unknown which swallowed all whole under it's cresting wave of solitude. Mute except the wailing, like song—song of sheer coincidence, where so many voices in unison chances harmony by mathematics beyond comprehension.
The sour taste on his tongue drags him loose of the claws about his mind.
He blinks, and sees and feels steel.
Cold, unforgiving steel walling like a soothing downpour on his nerves.
Cato groans as he rights himself, shaking his head, and then rolls his tongue around his mouth; gagging a little at the bitter, acrid aftertaste of his Betcher's gland acting on instinct.
He'd thought himself largely past this now. It had been so long since it happened, and Cato tries, he tries so painfully hard not to imagine the same thing happening here, because he's okay, you're okay—nothing would try to take this ship.
The vile taste on his tongue annoys him, because he'd scrubbed his teeth raw in an effort to seem as polished as he could; and now his tongue probably stinks like an empty las cartridge.
He spits on the floor and straightens up, it's fine—at least that's what he tells himself. You're close, and you're safe and that's all the encouragement he needs to fall back into step.
Cato takes a few strides down the corridor towards your quarters before realising something rather important.
He reaches into the folds of his rest attire and practically yanks out a sheathed knife.
It'd be closer to a dagger to you, and he doubts you know how to use it, but—but—
He wants to give it to you.
It's what he'd like to receive, at least. After all, it is what he was given, once.
The smith on Talassar is long dead, from age or sickness, but it matters little. All that matters is that Cato had received it ages ago when he'd yet to make anything of himself and he wants your hands to know its weight. You never carry weapons to diplomatic ventures in the past, and you've told him as much, but he gathers it's because there's never been place for you to put them on your persons in those stupid outfits of yours.
It's a little bit brutish of a gift, yes, he's well aware. But there's no possibility of bringing any sort of cliche boon to your door, like flowers, or something of the sort. Or whatever those waifs of yore would demand as a courting gift.
He doesn't even realise he's continued walking until he's stopped and standing outside your chamber like a kicked hound.
Cato stuffs the dagger back against his breast.
He's not sure if he should knock.
Maybe barging in is a more logical approach.
He knows the universal override to all the input pads, but there's something seemingly rooting him to the spot.
The nervousness hesitation he feels regarding seeing you is a lingering problem—the longer he stays beyond the confides of your room only adds to the chances of being caught. And he's not about to wait for hours outside for a hint you're actually in there. He has right to suspect you are, but the possibility of a serf being there instead of you is unrealistic but present. Actually no, he's sure that a cleaning serf would not lock the door.
So, finally, he raps a knuckle against the door and sets his footing to a martial stance.
The door clicks, then slides open a minute later.
There's a clear surprise that paints across your face as he stares down at you, before it dissolves into a small, flustered smile.
His hands twitch where they hang by his sides, itching to reach for the dagger he wants to give you. He had planned how he'd do this on the way here. Thought it through and prepared, rolling it over and over in his head. And yet, actually having you before him throws any precedent out the nearest air-lock.
You're not in any sort of prim and proper way—you're in bedding clothes, more than anything: pants and a top.
The trousers are a light shade of cyan, loose around your calves but more form fitting around your thighs. Your hips seeming to be the only thing holding the pants up from showing the warm, smooth skin beneath; that, and a small thread tied in a crude bow. Your tunic is more of a inched stola, low necked enough that he can sort of see the top of your breasts.
"I didn't.. uh," you mumble. "I didn't expect you so soon."
He knows he's earlier than he promised, but he grunts in answer and looks over your shoulder.
You blink, "What?"
"Am I to wait out here all cycle, then?"
A small 'oh, right—sorry' from you is all he receives before you take a step back to allow him entrance.
When the door slides shut and locks behind him, Cato notes the lack on downlight activated. Everything is hazed in a moody, misty (hi) sort of warm, amber glow from the candles you've left burning. He thankfully wrestles down the urge to stand there scenting the air with his lip curled up like a beast. Trying not to linger on the abundant stink of you, you, you on everything, pervading every sense he has. Promising himself he won't smother into your pillows and start humping them like a rabid dog.
He distracts himself by cataloguing his surroundings. Cato has consistently focused on utilitarianism over all else, and it shows in his room. His room is accessorised in the style befitting of his many years and achievements; with walls lined with trophies and weaponry made by the best of the Imperium. It contains just the basic necessities required: a work area, a seat, a couple of lights, an agreeably Astartes-sized cot at the middle, and close to it, a dependable incense holder.
Your room is much smaller—but the ensuite appears the same, though. Which Cato doesn't know how to feel about. He surmises it was likely a converted Captain's quarters. It's not standard issue, and neither are the copious amounts of, for lack of a better word, trinkets. But he supposes being the Primarch's favourite little diplomat-bookkeeper-pet-thing is a title full of unseemly rewards. His Father has a strange, uncouth way of interacting with baselines, and he doesn't dare linger on the hypocrisy behind that thought coming from him standing in your private quarters.
Be as that may, he still feels enormous standing there in the cramped space between you, the bed, and the desk behind you, unimpressed at the amount of clothing bundled near his feet.
You stand in your own mess without any hint of shame. A silent Ambassador is typically a welcomed novelty, but a silent you makes Cato jumpy.
You near and try to urge him to lean down, clearly trying to coax a kiss from him.
"Water," he says abruptly.
You don't seem to be listening, just looking at him with a distracted sort of fascination—then the request clicks, and you stumble into the bathroom and run the tap.
He hears the glass he's to be drinking from clink with the hardware before it fills, and them you step out and close to him to hand it over.
He takes a big gulp and swishes it around his mouth before swallowing, and gladly the wretched sourness of lingering acid is gone.
With the threat of burning your little nagging trap gone—and you none the wiser to the fact he's an Ultramarine who can, in-fact, spit acid—he rears down and gives you what you'd sought.
A slow kiss, nice and sweet and gentle; and he closes his eyes this time, in preparation.
You grin against his mouth and pull back after, and he smiles a tiny bit at the way your lips are a little redder.
Cato huffs in satisfaction and straightens back up, going in for another draught of water.
"I am surprised you live in squalor, despite all the benefits of your station," he murmurs offhandedly, looking aside the rim at the room once more between sculling down the rest of the cup.
You frown, and glance about the room, "It's not that bad."
"It looks like a drop zone," Cato grumbles, holding out the empty glass—and you take it, while he's fixed on staring disapprovingly at the messy stacks of data-slates stacked and leaning like two great spires. "Have you no discipline? No self-respect?"
"Clearly not," you mumble and glare at him, eyeing him up, then down, then up again with a judgmental leer. Suddenly, something about the situation is amusing to you—and you snort.
Cato scowls, crossing his dense arms over his chest, "And what's that suppose to mean?"
"Nothing," you huff.
He glares back at you in silence as you turn and set the glass upon the desk—what little free space there is, in that shitstorm bundle of random work.
"I just think it's funny that you say that," you start again abruptly, rounding about to look at him. "Given the circumstances."
The scoff that leaves him is nigh a bark, "Exceptional circumstances."
You snort amusedly, "So where's your discipline and self-respect?"
"Somewhere between your thighs," he says, and prides in the begrudgingly fought-back smile he earns out of you with it.
He sits himself down on the side of the bed and continues priding to himself at the wit of the remark he made.
Cato relishes in the moment, simple as it is—you're oblivious to his own troubles and there's a sweet, lulling sense of comfort in that.
"You're a real class act," You pout, manoeuvring your rear up onto the desk inelegantly. Something tumbles to the floor to accommodate, but you're evidently unbothered. Your pants ride down at the change just enough that it put the part where your hip met leg on display. Just the temptation has him fiending off an insidious amount of lust.
He wonders if it'll hold up against an Astartes fucking you on it. But it's not bolted down, so he doubts that.
The bed will hold, though. And even if it doesn't, he'll still manage—he's sure he'll take every bit of you he can, on every surface he can manage. It's just a matter of time before he goes down the checklist, really.
Cato, understandably, groans long and low at the thought.
"Something the matter, Commander?" You intone with an annoyingly obvious faux-stupidity, crossing your legs and tilting your head a little.
"No," he rasps, and tears his gaze from your hip.
You eye him, "You look a little stiff."
He grumbles, and reaches into the breast of his robes.
The sheathed dagger looks flimsy in his muscle and callous laced palm, and when he holds it out to you, you look bemused.
Your brow arches up and you scowl a little, "What's that for?"
"You," he harrumphs, and turns away. Then Cato cannot, for the life of him, look back at your eyes—so he fixes his stare at your sandals set by one another at the door frame.
A little giddy huff leaves you as he watches you scoot off the desk top and reach for the weapon in his peripheral vision.
"You didn't have to," you coo, wrapping your small fingers around the hilt and freeing the blade from its casing. A little kiss hits his cheek and then he hears the gleam of it being loosed—he'd polished the time-dulled filigree to a mirror finish in preparation for gifting you, and even sharpened it back to a killing edge.
Your sweet hum of fascination as he sees the reflected candlelight dancing off the steel has him finally look back at you.
There's a big smile on your face, and your cheeks are a little red—and it's exactly the reaction he was after.
Cato tips his chin up, noble in his smugness, and smiles back.
"It's lovely, but—" you say, "I remember having told you before I can't wear weapons."
He pouts, and then he's sour again, "There's a belt loop on this one so that you can."
"I don't wear them for a reason," you digress.
"What reason?"
"Because it looks bad for a diplomat to do so."
Cato huffs petulantly, "That's not good enough."
"Yes, it is," you huff back.
"It's just one knife," He grunts, and gestures at you vaguely. "Why not put it on the inside of your thigh?"
And for some reason a few neurones misfire in his head at the thought of his dagger being so, so close to your—
"Do me a favour, Sicarius," you simper abruptly, as if there's a hidden punchline to the entire conversation he's yet to discover, "Look under the bed."
Cato scowls, but ultimately allows the request, putting one big palm on the duvet to leer down.
Oh, that's—that's a small fortune of ceremonial weaponry.
"Throne, woman," he starts, still looking and a bit stunned. "Why? Do you just collect all these? You don't hang them up, or anything?"
"I don't collect them willingly," you mumble, "They're just... handed to me, most of the time. Sometimes by dignitaries, a few by other Astartes. I don't understand it much, either."
Cato arches lower and reaches his free hand out to the gilded sheath of a curved sword, blue and gold and embossed with jewels. It's crusade-era levels of ancient—and Cato swears he'd seen it upon the lobby wall before the broad doors of Guilliman's chambers. That, and the hundreds of other favoured tools of war his Primarch so loved to display. Some hadn't been touched since the heresy, but still. Their nostalgic sentiments held strong. He supposes age does that to someone. Even for someone as noble and mindful as his Father.
Cato purses his lips as he lays a hand on the sword and tugs it free from the pile with ease.
He holds it up as he rights himself back on the bed and scowls, "This is—"
"I know," you sigh, and your hand braces against the side of your neck as you tut, "He insisted."
"He insisted?"
"He insisted," you grumble, and Cato tries hard not to find the embarrassed colour on your cheeks painfully endearing. "I said I wouldn't wear it, but he said it'd be a good thing to keep 'incase of emergencies', or something."
"Guilliman is right," Cato says sourly, placing the sword back on the ground and using his heel to shuck it backwards back under the bed. "You're easily assailable."
"You're the fifth Astartes to say that to me," Your face scrunches up, "I feel like it's an insult at this point."
"It's a valid observation," he shoots back. "You may as well be held together with silk and ribbons—like some spoilt little princess. You should expect the fanfare with that behaviour."
You leave his dagger on the desk behind you and take a few bold steps closer to him, crossing your arms over your chest; scowling as you say, "Oh, so you're the knight in shining armour here, then?"
Cato scoffs, "I always have been."
"And that is so terribly hard?"
He raises a brow and straightens up a bit, "Yes—yes, it is."
He likes the haughty attitude you get when you're subtly seething, he likes the little scowl you wear, and the tiny crease that forms on your nose. It gets his blood up, and warp damn him if he doesn't thrill at the slightest chance to have you gratifying his antics.
"Well, you got a pretty good reward for your troubles."
He frowns sourly, "What did I get?"
"Laid," you snark.
Cato huffs, "You were desperate for it."
Your brow quirks sourly, and you cross your arms over your chest.
"Groxshit," you grumble.
Ah, so it's time for lying now. You weren't desperate, no—you haven't ever raised your ass to let him mount you, you haven't groped his cock—you most certainly haven't ridden him like an unruly beast, taking your pleasure—letting him fuck your tight cunt full, time and time again.
He ought to remind you, he ought to get you flushed with the words—because he knows you'll squirm, dithering, bright red in the face and aching between the thighs.
Instead, he snorts loudly, "Shut up and come here."
"I don't think so," you laugh.
Cato growls and rolls his eyes, "Suit yourself."
Still sitting, he lifts the folds of his robes aside and works his arms out of the sleeves, baring himself aside from the underclothes hanging on his hips.
With another huff, Cato shuffles himself back up against the headboard, settling into the pillows. He locks his fingers together, raising them above his head, stretching tall and taut; huge chest bulging as a strained groan slips free from his throat, earning a chain of muted cracks from his back in reward of his efforts.
Your eyes trace his torso where you stand aside the bed. Studying the ports and ancient scars that draw up from his hips in mirrored pathways, linear and geometrically precise—utterly surgical. Their routes turned up the sides of his ribs, stopping high on his serratus anterior, dodging his pectorals and wrapping around to his deltoids; where your gaze stayed—eyeing the tattoo of an inverted omega he had gotten so very, very long ago. It's faded a little, but the upside down Ω is still well defined.
He's got your attention now.
You shuffle forward, half on the edge of the bed; and lean close, flickering your eyes up to his—as if seeking some sort of allowance.
"Disgustingly predictable," He scoffs, cocking his head and relaxing a bit.
Seeing an Astartes out of their armour always was something to behold for baselines. Ever eye-catching even to those who'd seen it a thousand times over. It garnered awe and fear; but that was the reason the Emperor made them so large in the first place. Aside from the practical benefits of throwing their weight around, their presence alone was intended to be physically intimidating as a means to dissuade the uncooperative from resisting and to scare off contest.
To you though, his bared form is a source of lust. The stink of it in the air has him toey and eager.
But it is, afterall, the first time you've had a good, close look at him in his entirety.
Cato preens at the flush he earns when he smirks at you.
"I won't stop you, you know."
"I hope not," You muse and lay a hand on his sternum, kneeling onto the bed and scooting close as your fingers graze over the dark spread of hair dusting across his chest.
You scan from the tops of his broad shoulders down the definition of muscle to the interfaces on his fused ribs; your eyes trailing for a brief second to his dense abdomen where the hair went even lower. Arrowing down his under-cloth. His entire body was marked with brutal scars of every kind. Some raised and old, others raw and sunken.
He'd indulge a question or two about their origins if asked—or well, if asked nicely.
Oh, that meagre cicatrix below his left pectoral? That was a Carnifex he had fought. It was five of them all at once single handedly, actually—and he only had his great Talassarian Tempest blade. It was a lucky mark from the beast. It died seconds later. He's just that good—he's Cato Sicarius, afterall. You made the right choice letting him have you, please tell him that he's the right choice.
Instead, you sink down against him and lie against his side, tracing the ports on his chest.
Arguably, this is just as satisfying to Cato as gloating waxing on and on about his many successes. Your warm little body tucked against his like a perfect fit, and the feel of your fingers around the thinner skin rimming his interfacing ports isn't bad, either. It feels strange, yes, but it's a different sort of sensation. It's acutely sensitive. He almost feels like he's about to shiver at it.
But then your attention shifts to raking against the grain of the hair on his chest.
"I usually have it burned away," he says abruptly, because he's somewhat bemused by your fascination. Still, he puffs his chest out a little. "To allow greater synergy with my body-glove."
"Really?" You laugh, and it's a prettier sound than carillon bells to Cato's ears—all the while pawing at a thick hunk of his pectoral, "They toast you?"
"Only a single passing," Cato admits, "It doesn't hurt—stinks though. And then it's all hosed off."
You hum in acknowledgement and let your hand wander down his middle, following the trail of fluffy, coarse hair.
"Interesting," you hum, fingers tracing the path, stopping only when you're grazing just shy of the top wrap of his undercloth. "You feel a bit like a fur rug here."
Cato breathes in slowly, "Don't test your luck."
"It's an entirely valid statement, how am I testing my luck?" You grumble, glowering at him as you pull away.
"You ought to be reprimanded for insubordination," He says with a steely, disciplinary intonation, but the threat's hollow and you're seemingly well aware of that. He leans in and pulls you close again as his touch sweeps down your legs. His nose buries into your hair, big hands appraising groping.
You set about kissing his cheek, smothering yourself against him.
The airy gasp that leaves you when he squeezes your ass makes you bold, apparently, because the next words you choose to say are; "Do you accept bribes?"
Cato's immediate theoretical response is a snarky 'No,' but then the heel of your palm is sliding up the side of his cock through the wrapped linen.
So, pointedly, he eagerly groans out, "Yes."
You simper up at him, before fussing with the fabric. Exposing the dense plain of his hip, tugging and un-pleating a little more until he's bared from the navel down.
His cock's so hard it nearly bats you across the cheek as it springs free. To which Cato snorts, not even trying to hide his amusement.
You flinch a little in surprise, a hint flustered, and eye the hard length of him as if it's personally affronted you.
He sits a little more upright, thighs spreading, presenting himself. Offering his big, sturdy quads as a cushion to lean on as you slowly pump him in a steady motion.
"Well?" Cato snarks, "Get on with the bribery then."
You pout at him, glancing back—and huff, "You smell like an apothecarium."
Cato grumbles to himself, slow to gather his words as he watches you ogle him, "If I had... known that you wanted to get that damn snout of yours so close, I wouldn't've used such harsh soaps."
You raise an eyebrow and pout, "Wonder if they're toxic to ingest."
"I doubt it," he starts, "But I guess there's only one way to find out."
Your fingers glide over his big thighs, dodging his ports and smoothing upwards to trace the old paths of his surgeries.
And even with all his stoic, anally neurotic merit, Cato can't stifle the small subvocal hum that escapes him as you flatten your tongue, licking a warm stripe up the side of his cock.
The feeling of it is staggeringly new, and he's absolutely elated at the view. It's half the appeal, even if there's no way you're getting anywhere near as much cock in you as your cunt allows.
You wrap your lips around the fat tip, keeping it in your mouth as you stroke the thick base of him with a grip that can't even meet around the width; balancing yourself better on your knees by putting the other hand on his thigh—the sleeve of your top slipping down your arm.
"This may be a better use for your mouth than diplomacy," He says as he lets out a low sigh, hips jerking forward with shallow movements in time to the bobbing of your mouth.
When you pull off to swipe away the glaze of spit and pre-cum accumulating on your chin, you lap your bottom lip and huff, "You are a prick, you know that?"
Despite being enamoured by the sight of you disheveled, he grumbles petulantly and says, "And you had to take your tongue off mine to say that."
You frown at him, then acquiesce with a petulant little grunt.
Then your mouth descends on him once more, rocking back and forth, letting gravity angle him in. All Cato can do is relish in the sensation, finding no room in his brain for anything else. Just the feeling of the wet heat of your mouth swallowing around him, and the swirling counterpoint of your tongue—eagerness in your gaze as it flicks up to find his again—Throne, that makes him groan straight away.
You hum around his length in response, the vibrations ricocheting through his nerves and up his spine blindingly. His other palm is suddenly against his forehead, a bit stunned from the bombardment of new pleasure.
Your little fingers dig fruitlessly into his thigh, making him hyperaware, sending him grinding forward a bit only to be rewarded with another lurching buzz of ecstasy. The hand pumping the base of him shifts away, and then small nails rake across his navel, then his hip, tracing a port; and he buries his face into the crook of his elbow to stifle a heavy moan. They're only meagre claws, yet the pressure is strangely comforting as you lap at the blood flushed underside of his glans.
Cato's aware his voice catches as he keens aloud, pulling his arm away from his face to rest his forearm on his hairline. He's simply just enjoying the soft, hot drag your mouth around his tip again.
But a reedy little whine snags his attention, catching him unaware that he had even closed his eyes in the first place.
When he finally opens them, he swoons. Hard. Your cheeks are a stunning maroon, and your previously focused gaze now looks hazy and desperate, utterly lost in the act. He hadn't been cognisant he'd put his hand on your head, either. But watching you sink down around him again and again is intoxicating. How your pink tongue peeks out to lathe over a raised vein when you pull off for air has him dizzy. Your other hand's drifted down your pants and between your thighs at some point when he'd been lost in his own pleasure, fingers curling inside yourself. A deep inhale makes it clear you're absolutely soaking. And he's well aware that it is a meagre substitute—still, the eagerness of you is adorable lurid.
Distantly, he wonders just how many times you've had that hand there in this bed. It's the scene of the crime, really. You'd already admitted to it—and he ought to make sure you're full of his fingers to keep yours where there should be. That is, if he could move. He can't find the will to even sit up higher, let alone move the hand he's been using to keep your head steady. But, he does have the mind to comb his fingers through your tresses, at least.
You seem to realise he's realised what you're doing and you whine again, forcing yourself to take his cock further.
Cato lets out an approving moan and hisses out a feckless string of curses, thighs tensing sharply as his senses stagger at the heat that suffuses his belly.
The sick temptation to spend himself in your sweet vile maw is nigh all consuming, but it's nothing compared to the fact he's far more convinced on dumping it in your womb. Anywhere else feels like an injustice to the fact he's able to fill you—because just like some fang-toothed warp-spawn abomination, you've opened the door and invited him in, so he can make as much of a wreck of you as he likes, or as much as you like.
He yanks you off him by the reigns he's made of your hair and you choke a little.
The small groan at the messy handling of the situation is a testament to how badly you're after his end, "Wh-why...?" you rasp, the efforts having made your voice a little rough; the mix of your drool and his precum giving your chin and lips a wet, glossy sheen.
"Because—" he starts, and he's surprised by how ragged he sounds to his own ears. "Because, there's better holes to empty it in."
The little disappointed sigh that escapes you as you lick your slick bottom lip makes him immediately change his mind.
"Have it your way then," he heaves, and shoves your head back down—instinctively chasing the rising tide and rocking forward into your quickly opening mouth.
His hand is tight in your hair now, fist tangling the strands in his grip as you let him thrust freely. Your own hand grabs the side of his hip as his tempo stutters. By the Emperor, his father would kill him if he could see this. But, damn—the sight of you like this is sin. He's so much bigger than you it looks obscene with you servicing him like this. You're a mess, gagging and tearing up, but making no attempt to pull away. It's depraved, but if you're so desperate for a load down your throat, who's Cato to say no? He's more than happy to give you exactly that—and just on time, he feels his balls tighten up—static rising out up his spine as a groan tears from his throat. Caught daft not a millisecond later by a bodily shudder blinding him in a hot rush.
Cato pants as the shivers subside in heavy throbs, filling your mouth. He pets your head as you swallow, at first—and then the pockets of your cheeks puff out. And suddenly you're cringing and scrambling off of him and into the ensuite. The tap starts up, then you do, and all he hears spitting and sputtering.
You stumble out looking like you'd eaten something sour, swiping your hand across your lips before saying, "That tasted horrible."
"You wanted it," Cato growls.
A bright, wry smile plasters itself on your features, "And?"
"And, if you want more," he begins, eyeing you. "You'll have to lose the rags, woman."
You straighten, eager—and promptly start to wrestle your top over your head, just to throw it at his face.
Cato grumbles at the rudeness periodically, before he starts sniffing the article. Vomeronasal organ having a momentary frenzy. It smells of warm you, and a little bit of sleep. Like an embrace, and—fuck, his spent cock twitches back to life. He really shouldn't behave like this. It makes him assume he looks savage. Even he feels strange. So he wretches your top off himself and tosses it somewhere to the left.
Watching you suddenly appear on the bed, fighting your way out of your pants is much more entertaining.
He likes the way you shimmy onto your back and fuss yourself free; and the way you practically lunge back close to him when you're finally bare.
You lean over him and grin, and Cato appreciatively drags a hand down your back, palming your ass.
Promptly, he rolls himself and drags you along. He groans theatrically as if you're fifty times the effort to move than you are, simply because he can. And the shifting of his bulk makes the bed shake enough that the stack of slates on the table across the room falter, and tumble to the floor in a loud clatter of sound.
On your back under him, he preens at the flushed surprise on your face.
"That was too loud—you're too loud," you heave.
"I'm too loud?" He grumbles, pinning your far smaller shape down. "Says you."
That stirs a groan out of you, at least, squirming while Cato drags his tongue up the side of your neck.
"Someone can still pass by and hear," you whine, "We shouldn't make that much—"
"I doubt it," he grunts, cutting you off as he slides off the mattress and drags you to the lip of it. "We have a bed all to ourselves. Your bed—in your quarters, with six inches of steel in the way, might I add. They'd have to stand at the door to listen."
He flips you over, pressing you front down—slumping against you on his knees to grant a rough grind or two to make sure you're hyperaware of his thick erection plastered against your ass. Your legs kick out and you wriggle, a series of ragged gasps leaving you as you endure the onslaught. A small lick here, a small lick there—huffing and panting to stir an empathic response. Winding you up to writhe and flush as he groans next to your ear, only to start chuffing out mean spirited laughter when you moan back.
"See, you don't really care about anyone hearing, do you?" He rasps out against your throat before sucking the skin over a thudding little artery. "You're not sworn to chastity. They might just think, 'oh, the Ambassador's found another poor soul to suck the semen out of, shame,' or the likes."
"I don't know how you do it," You scoff, breathing hard into the covers as he pulls away and grabs you by the hips to hoist your rear up into that perfect taunting arch he remembers so well from the cabin. Aptly presenting yourself on your knees at mounting-height while he stands.
"Do what?"
You laugh, "Manage to find the worst possible thing to say every time."
Cato sneers haughtily, "Decades of practice."
Taking himself in hand, he angles the tip of his cock to kiss the soft rim of your entrance. And Throne, Cato's ecstatic. He finally gets to fill in the gaps of what he should've seen back in the cabin the first time. The theatrics you'd hidden under rags and your own embarrassment.
He hears the cartilage in your gullet click when you swallow dryly and grumble, "Fine then, but don't say I didn't—"
You're rudely interrupted by your own shuddering moan when he starts sliding into you, and Cato's never been happier to shut you up.
He bottoms out in you in one smooth thrust, and the sound you make next is a stellar thing. An eager, warbling 'Sicarius–' as his cockhead jars right up against your cervix. Warm, fluttering muscles around his length and the mewling of a whorish little Ambassador are ever a perfect combination.
But he wants to be closer—so, so much closer; he wants you pressed to his front, so he can absolutely smother himself against you. He wants to burn the feeling of you and him into his edict memory, so nothing can untangle it from him.
Cato has to bend himself at an awkward angle to manage it, but he's well aware of the fact he can manage a free hand to draw lethargic circles on your belly.
"And if they can hear, it's not like anyone will believe them," he pants, a little chuff of laughter chasing his words, looking down at your face buried in the sheets. "They'll think you're a busted piston, or maybe a whining pipe."
"You're such a—" you start as his hand slides slowly down your navel, and your voice tapers off, "You're a-ah..." he dips his fingers between your thighs, and you moan, "Thro—oh—ne..."
His pointer and ring finger spread the hooded peak of your folds, then the middle moves in and rolls over your clit again and again and again. Your smaller, folded body strains back from the new attention. Mewling at the stretch, and the hot, heavy press of trans-human dick inside you. It's just how he likes it. He's got you all to himself, his bulky hips flush to your ass, and his pleased rumbling beside your head. He's genuinely content, if not for the constant paranoia—but content is a feeling he never really appreciated before the warp everything went to shit. But that paranoia is inconsequential compared to the sheer amount of joy he feels with you near and receptive to his affections marauding.
"That's it," he rasps, and he has to swallow down how much he's raring to just blindly rut into you like a savage. "Now, be a good little whore—and say 'Cato, harder please,' for me."
The request falls on deaf... or rather, cock-drunk ears. You simply moan in answer and squeeze, over-eager for him to keep practically putting a dent your womb. It catches Cato by surprise when you climax all too suddenly, high-strung, and fuck, everything in that moment is absolutely perfect—Cato would gladly suffer for an eternity to stay, just like this, for as long as the accursed galaxy will allow. Your body reduced to a juddering wreck, arching forwards and suffering even more touch to your abused clit; your insides twitching in time around him with each passing graze of his finger over that sensitive nerve.
Rearing back isn't a safe choice either, because you end up getting even more of him in your cunt—unable to escape his efforts to hound you over the edge as soon as possible again.
"I c-can't, I-I—" you whine, and in response, like any reasonable Astartes, he keeps pounding until you're compliant.
"Say it," he pants.
"Ca—ah–Cato, h-harder, please—" you start crying as you shake underneath him.
His ears practically perk up at you finally using his first name; it was only quick and garbled, but he's so glad to hear it—he's already addicted to it, impropriety damned, because fuck does it sound good. It's always been Commander, and only recently had it been Sicarius—but now you're finally giving him the validation of crying out for Cato—for him, just him.
You can be louder, and clearer than smothered against the covers. So Cato acts on the brilliant idea to hoist you upright on your knees while he slams into you.
You're struggling erratically against the big hands holding you up, making the sound of a dying animal, now.
He fucks you right through your struggles, one hand keeping your head up under your jaw so he can arch down to tuck his chin on your shoulder. The mixed sound of your little rear making contact with his hips is a rushed, degenerate beat—Throne, the poor headboard of your cot against the wall too, it's almost like sabatons on steel, a rhythmic clank clank clank. And oh, then you make the sweetest little overstuffed sob, isn't that cute. Aren't you adorable.
He's only just started again and he's already liable to empty himself in you.
Suddenly, there's a scream of his name—and a quick, warm-wet splash from you that drips down his balls. Then you've apparently been struck daft and limp in his hold, sniffling out a wrecked little cry as you slacken. It's an entirely new phenomenon. It seems to be a good thing, seeing as you're squeezing on him like it's another orgasm—so he takes it at face value.
He keeps you upright and lets you cinch down around him, staying still—riding out the aftershocks of your finish and keeping his cock nice and warm and snug.
Cato is honestly surprised when you regain enough sense to weakly buck backwards and fuck yourself on him.
"Please... p-please," you slur, and it seems like all you needed was the incitement to be reduced to begging now; "Cato, in me, i-in me..."
Cato's completely enthralled, and he's never been more willing to follow an order faster. He'd walk right into an orbital barrage if you asked, right now.
He shifts his weight into the next thrust and meets your meagre attempts to get him to rut into you.
The loud, wet plap of him bucking forward is almost deafening.
His eyes roll back at the searing burr of pleasure that chases up his spine, panting through a clenched jaw, "So eager to be f-full of Astartes cum, huh?"
"Please, C-Cato—" You can barely even get the sentence around the pace of him practically rearranging your uterus into your stomach.
Fuck, he knows he's so beyond defective it's not even arguable, because he's practically feral for any hint of validation you'll give. And if you want to have your insides painted so badly, why should he deny you?
"I know," he pants, "I-I know."
You whine, well beyond words.
He's about as robbed of verbal sense as you are now, and he groans, your cries becoming hiccups.
He swears he almost blacks out for a moment when he actually finishes. His arrhythmic, choppy sighs chase each thrust. So suddenly seized by his end he slumps forward, pushing you with him, feeling half-dead and gritting his teeth as shudder after shudder wracks him. Persisting, his hips still keep pumping without a hint of respite, pinning you with his bulk while emptying himself inside you, just how you wanted. The subsequent leaking of his spend from you turns the pace of him still rutting into an even stickier cacophony of lewd wet sound. Hand splayed out beside your head supporting his weight, huffing and puffing to himself like a pissed-off bull as he works himself into overstimulation.
He stops at last with a long, trying sigh and pulls his slick and spent-wet fingers out from between your legs; dragging them across the sheets somewhere to the right before letting his palm splay on your hip, dry.
You're bent ass up under him, with your cunt still full of his cock, plus a thick load; moaning so lowly and continuously it's almost a purr.
Cato groans tiredly, rocking his hips a little for good measure despite the ache of it. "Does having me finish inside you feel that good to your little animal brain?"
Your voice is a fucked-out mumble as you say, "Well... 's not like... y'going to get me pregnant or anything."
Cato stays quiet, considering.
And that quiet seemingly sends you asking, "Are—are A-Astartes... sterile?"
"I'm actually not too sure," Cato huffs, and finally grows the spine to pull himself out.
Your gasp at his exit and subsequent little exhuasted 'hmm' is curiously without any hint of fear-smell.
He scowls, "And you're not at all concerned by that?"
A soft groan from you answers, "Got an i-implant... after the first t-time, just incase."
He doesn't have the balls energy to even begin to comment on the fact you'd correctly anticipated him trying after you again. Is he that predictable?
Cato rears back and makes an affirmative sound, groping at your ass, big thumb pulling one of your labia aside to ogle the fat pearls of cum dripping from you. You'd take another load, too. And if you ask him nicely enough, he might do just that right now—or have your mouth again. But he likes spending himself in your warm cunt far more. The way you squirm and squeeze on him when he's in you is intoxicating. Maybe later, given your exhaustion. You both have all cycle—or at least, whatever remains of his rest hours. Regardless, it's a genuine wonder the device hasn't succumbed to the stress of stonewalling an Astartes' draining his balls in you so many times these last few months.
He makes a soft tutting sound as his big palm smooths down your sides; his warm breath dancing across your inner thighs.
No better than some slavering beast, Cato gives into the urge sent by his hindbrain and licks a wide band from clit to taint in one smooth motion, and pulls away, seemingly briefly appeased.
Your squeal is priceless, but—eugh, his cum does taste foul. Nutrient gruel be damned, he needs to fix that somehow.
Sputtering as quietly as he can to avoid dignifying your similar reaction earlier, he grumbles to himself—still pawing and groping at your ass.
"You've ruined m-my sheets," you manage to say.
Cato grunts, "You're the one who decided to piss on them."
He says that, but knows it wasn't. It didn't smell like it—it smelt like satisfaction, and slick, and 'harder, please—please, Cato, harder.'
The sudden shiver that runs up his spine thinking about it surely isn't born of a vaguely possessive thrill.
Abruptly you roll onto your back and sit up, grimacing at him.
"That's n-not what that was," you hiss, flustered enough that you're stammering. "T-That was..."
Cato raises an eyebrow, "What was it, hm?"
Hook, line, sinker—
You dither, red in the face as you mumble, "It–it was nothing."
—and ta-da, he reels in an Ambassador.
"Oh, that's right," he grins and leans over you, "It was you finishing so hard you screamed my name."
Something bold rears it's head in you then, eyeing him petulantly; because you start swatting at him—and Cato's never had you actively physically retaliate for any jabs—so he just freezes, bemused.
They're barely even pats to his sturdy form, and it amuses him to no end that you're so small but still trying to annoy him.
So, he acquiesces; and starts using his own strength on you. He keeps it in check, of course; because you're still a twig of a baseline, even as grating as you are. He's practically tossing you around on the bed with minimal actual effort. Big hands stroking and kneading, rolling you around, pinning you beneath him and trying to annoy you back.
The efforts yield an entirely different result. You're laughing, hyperventilating, and every rough grope earns him a shrill little keen of excitement.
"Throne, you're a degenerate," Cato hums, giving you a wry look before reeling you back under him. "Getting off on being tossed around, are you?"
And with a yelp, you're made to watch him maraud his way up your body again.
You start grinning then, and it's not the typical sweet, coy smile of you luring him in; rather, it's one of a mad thing, feral and giddy.
You snigger sharply, a little breathless from struggling. "You say that like t-there's any downsides."
Cato scoffs, and rolls onto his back, pouting. "So anything that can rough you up will do, then?"
"I, unfortunately, have a very singular preference," you chuff, and snuggle up against him; tucking your chin against his neck, humming softly to yourself.
"Is that so?" He grunts, "And what would that be?"
The kiss to his jaw is heartachingly soft, and you snort a little when he turns to look down at you and your cheek is grated by his stubble.
Your big eyes are locked on his, half-lidded and lazy, and there's that familiar, honeyed look in them again. The soft, heady fixation of focused affection.
Cato feels like he's about to start weeping out of sheer joy. You're all his, your time, your gaze, your adoration—everything.
He's practically vibrating from elation.
"Despite your profession, you are terrible at hiding your emotions," he snarls, despite himself.
"Look at the time—aren't you expected somewhere, Commander Sicarius?" You ask sourly, but the warmth in your eyes stays the same.
Cato wonders if his expression betrays any of that sort of softness. If there's any residual capacity to show affection left in his face after all he's been through. He's sure there's something going on there that's got you looking at him with that sweet gaze. Or maybe you've gotten a good read on what's going on in his head now. He certainly feels as if he's been figured out. As if you've got him pried and nailed open like a xenos corpse in some creaking admech's lair. The prospect isn't anywhere near as daunting as it should be.
Still, he plays along.
"Probably, but you don't seem to really be complaining, Lady Ambassador," Cato quips low in his throat as he leans in close, only to pull away and sneer. Your lips part slightly as you swallow your words instead of speaking, clearly captivated. That said, he is also still a little breathless from teasing you so it was no surprise you seem dazed at his own attempt.
"No, I am—you've just more muscle than brain," you bite out with a flash of snark a second late, taunting him further by sticking your tongue out.
Retaliating immediately, he snares your mouth against his own; sliding his own tongue with yours and drinking in the soft moan that slips free. You nip his bottom lip vengefully, making him stifle a growl and lean away as he hisses, "Don't tempt me for a third."
It's no lie, because fuck, he probably could go for one more. Especially with the treatment he's receiving now.
"Why not?" you say in a tone that's so sweet one of his hearts aches.
"You want more already?" He drawls as he licks your jaw, your throat, everywhere and anywhere his mouth can reach. Tasting the salt of your sweat, and practically suffocating himself in the smell of you. Basking in his victory—Cato makes a sound like a great big feline, somewhere between a chuff and a growl against your neck; lazily entertaining himself by mouthing a bevy of bruises there. You almost immediately let him do as he pleases, your mouth hanging open, eyes half lidded and face flushed. Cato tries—and fails—to restrain the sudden amusement edging his tone at how easily you fall to your lusts. "You're going to overload that implant and end up gravid, woman."
"Throne, yes—" You slur, wriggling against him as he lathes his tongue across the top of one of your tits.
"What?" Cato barks.
Your face reddens, "What?"
Cato glares at you, and raises a brow. You're pretending you hadn't said anything and he's stunned you think he's stupid enough to miss it, "Baseline ducal protocol likely dictates... I would have to carry you off to be wed if that happened," he says, rushed. "Or... something of the likes, I suppose."
"R-Right," You fake a cough and avert your eyes, and you're breathing a little heavy.
"Within the context, of..." Cato backpedals, suddenly hyperaware of himself. "Of... that theoretical scenario."
You harrumph meekly, and then mumble, "Oh, of course... I agree, in that hypothetical situation."
He blinks, flabbergasted, "...really?"
You clear your throat and nod stuffily, only to tuck closer against him.
There's an entire subsector's worth of unpacking those statements need; you agree, but is that you saying it's a distant assurance? That you'd let him, one day, or is it merely conjecture? The primitive satisfaction of that base biological imperative is a heady one. Dangerous, too. If there is a chance of knocking you up, it would require significant subterfuge to keep hidden. Astartes can smell that sort of thing—and fuck, a Primarch could probably tell who's it was when given a source sample. He's got no litmus test for how easy you both would be caught. Maybe if you're suddenly on leave, for say, nine-months? That's one solution.
But where would you go—oh, Throne, he's thinking about Talassar again, and you in a pretty little slip, or in his rest robes, lying next to him notating; maybe resting against his chest in the crook of his arm—the fantasy is mundane, and domestic, and anathema to his status as High Suzerain of Ultramar, but still his cock throbs and his cheeks heat at the idea of calling you Lady Sicarius.
Your hands card through his hair abruptly, combing and petting him, and hm... that's nice, why are you looking at him like that—
"What do you think you've doing?" He growls, ever the hypocrite—his face doesn't feel hot at all, shut up.
You harrumph, "Stop pretending you don't like it."
"Whatever," Cato scoffs, and leans into your touch—not before mumbling; "Cunt."
Self-admittedly, he entirely deserves the feisty little smack he cops to the snout the very next second.
"Don't call me that," you pout.
The laugh it earns from him is just as genuine.
He's having you a third time just because of that, for sure.
257 notes · View notes
3liza · 8 months ago
Text
everyone arguing with material analysis/assertion about how art is a "luxury" has rarely if ever spent rent or food money on art, if they even pay rent or buy their own food, and if they did that would be considered extremely dysfunctional, and thats what i/we mean. artists are not providing a necessary service.
our plane crashes in the Andes and you are not particularly excited about my "can draw that Playboy centerfold of Marge Simpson from memory" like that is not an essential survival skill. lots of extremely skilled workers work in luxury artisan and craft jobs, it's not an insult to say even a very famous and very talented and influential artist is not producing a commodity necessary for the furtherance of human life. none of us are doing that, no matter how we stretch and strain the definitions of "essential" or even things like "morale" or "group identity". i will burn my copy of Finnegan's Wake to stay warm and thats what it comes down to.
i get foamy crazy snarling and biting about the idolization and obfuscation of what artists actually do because it is a labor issue! the public conception of artists as people possessed of a divine talent they dont consciously work to develop like any other skill, and the public idea that we are simply pleased and privileged to make art all day and "not work", something people say to my face every time i get asked "what i do", is largely responsible for the absolute dogshit reality of how subsistence and working class artists have to survive. we usually dont have health insurance unless we're so poor we qualify for medicaid AND live in a state that will enroll us. most of us are too disabled or crazy to go to a real job every day. most of us have tried, over and over, to enter the normal workforce, and have failed, and been forced to develop alternate skills that allow us to make rent in the ten hours per month we're actually functional. many of the artists i know work from bed because standing up is dicey. this has been turned into a charming eccentricity of famous artists and writers instead of people wondering why a person would need to stay in bed all day and take the enormous bother of bringing their stupid pens and paper and writing board or typewriter or whatever to their bed instead of just getting up and getting dressed and going to work. ive done this, i spilled ink in my sheets. its a huge hassle.
and artists play along with this mystique because people dont want to buy paintings from sadlords! they want to buy paintings and books and marge simpson nudes from cool guys who get a lot of chicks and wear rockstar outfits and party a lot, because of the transitive properties! of course!!! this is basic marketing!!!!! and if the artist doesnt play along they turn into Sad Story Artist where they're doing emergency commissions and posting about how sick they are all the time. this is not cool or fun or sexy. it's a sand trap and its very hard to recover from. im struggling with this right now!
famous and successful artists and writers are constantly ending up 60-90 years old with cancer and multiple sclerosis and dementia, being the subject of some sort of public, last-ditch, humiliating GoFundMe because painting paperback covers fr 60 years means you dont get a pension, you often dont even have kids who can take care of you, you dont have life insurance, you dont have health insurance. 'died penniless and alone' is one of the stereotypical artist endings for a reason, that is not fiction. this happened to more artists than i can list on two hands. look up what happened to Peter S. beagle, the guy who wrote The Last Unicorn. you write a book like that you should be set for life, right? NO. thats not how it works
i'm not saying 'all artists are disabled and working class or poor' because that isnt true, observably. nepo babies and trust fund artists exist, obviously. but they take an outsized portion of the spotlight when the public thinks of the concept of "artist". they are not actually the norm. the average artist is probably making under 40k and living in extremely precarious circumstances and has had periods of homelessness, illness, extreme debt and/or bankruptcy.
this is true even for the 'successful' artists. having one or two or ten good projects and being a household name does not save you from just not having the safety net provided by a normal career path. i was very close with a major, famous 2000s network television creator and team that you have heard of. they won awards, they changed culture entirely, they were a big deal. one of them was turned down for a half dozen projects by the same network that made millions or bilions on their franchise over several years (each pitch is completely unpaid btw, imagine carefully preparing a PowerPoint for morons for months at a time for no reimbursement and thent he morons ask you if you can put a teenage witch looking for her lost cat in the alps in it and you're like, haha, well, it's a 4 part hard sci fi miniseries set on Europa and takes place entirely inside a pressurized lander settlement, i mean Ridley Scot said he was interested already and he pitched a bottle episode about a carbon monoxide poisoning, soooooo....and the executives look at each other and they're like "it's jst not really what we're looking for right now, thanks for coming in" and you go to coffee bean and tea leaf and kill yourself and thats sort of what its like. i made that example up it didn't actually happen i'm using an illustrative example), worked on a canceled film, and just. gradually ran out of money. thats what happens. that guy ended up slowly selling off all his belongings, getting roommates in a one bedroom apartment, and then eventually having to just live on a friend's couch for years. famous guy. you probably know his name. another major member of that same team ended up in GoFundMe/commission hell for years (might still be there) because they had to take care of their two dying, dementia patient parents by themselves. these are people who go to GenCon and sign autographs for four hours at a time. THE PUBLIC IS NOT AWARE OF THIS SHIT and i'm sick of it. im sick of going to a gallery opening night ("vernissage") and drinking bad wine and having a guy with an email job that pays six figures and benefits tell me being able to push "undo" on the computer is cheating. that's a real example, that has actually happened to me. more than once.
artists currently have zero labor protections whatsoever. all of us are undercutting each other in an unregulated market and relying on welfare and private insurance and not having families or buying houses. zero security until we get so old all our illnesses and dysfunction finally ground us permanently and then we get turned into a charity case by fans (humiliating) or just fade away into ghosts and die
whats my punchline? idk i dont have one. it's possible and likely that any given artist you meet is permanently in precarity and will be until they die, even the famous ones. the culture of selling art demands that artists do not admit to this in public unless shit gets really really bad. i guess my point is you should know this, as a person who looks at or listens to or reads things that people have made for your amusement, not for your survival
160 notes · View notes
bad268 · 7 months ago
Note
ok so Arthur leclerc sad fic. HERE ME OUT. It’s him comparing himself to Ollie and how he got to have everything he ever dreamed of, how he just wanted to be like his brother and make him proud. Like set at the end of 2023 when Ferrari dropped him and he left prema ( crying rn just at the mention of it) and maybe it can fast forward the Ollies first f1 race and Arthur is just on the bed of the hotel watching with teary eyes and the reader comforts him. WOAH THAT WAS ALOT I AM SO SORRY. I feel like I didn’t mention enough almost?!? Idk I feel like u could really add ur touch to it.
HOLD UP I THOUGHT I WAS DONE. What happens if it gets a little angsty like he is watching it with teary eyes and reader is like “Arthur, Arthur?” And he randomly snaps and starts destroying the hotel room and starts saying stuff like “THAT SHOULD BE, I DESERVED IT” then randomly stops and breaks down on the floor saying “I will never ever be enough for anything, I am not good enough, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself”
WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST WRITE I FEEL LIKE I JUST WROTE A WHOLD FIC WOAH IM SO SORRY. If it’s too angsty just make sure to point it out bc if u won’t do it I think I can finally it my non existent writing skills to work ( kidding)
I LOVE UR WORK BTWWWW
That Should Be Me (Arthur Leclerc X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/WEC
Requested: Clearly (WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THIS-)
Warnings: Mentions of destroying room (Arthur has a mental breakdown tbh)
POV: Second Person (You/your)
W.C. 1091
Summary: Arthur feels jealous of Ollie, of Charles. He doesn't feel worthy to be in Ferrari, but the reader shows him his worth.
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
Tumblr media
~~(^Pinterest)
It had been a hectic year for you and Arthur. What started as a good opportunity to test Ferrari later turned sour when Ferrari dropped Arthur from their driver academy. It was hard to get around at first, but you convinced Arthur to take it in strides and take it for what it is. An opportunity to do something better. Sure, he was still a developmental driver for Ferrari, but that left more time to show them what he could do in endurance racing! He’d show them what they lost there!
Just as he was accepting the loss, they threw a fork in the road. He decided that since he didn’t need to be with his endurance team until later in March, he would go to support his brother in Jeddah. You joined him since the timing worked out in your schedule, too.  Just as you two were getting off the plane, the news hit.
Breaking: Oliver Bearman to replace Carlos Sainz this weekend in Jeddah.
You saw it immediately, but Arthur, who had turned off notifications from Instagram, didn’t see it until you both got to the hotel after traveling the entire day. Arthur had pulled out his phone to find the reservation, and that was the first thing he saw.
He turned to you, showing the notification with a small smile, before saying, “Look at that! Ollie’s racing this weekend.”
At the time, you wished you had picked up on the forceness of his smile, or the fact that his jaw was clenched, or even the slightly hurt tone behind his words. Unfortunately, you didn’t, though.
You both started unpacking in silence, but you didn’t think anything of it. It was normal. Then, you realized you had left your hair care products at home, so you mentioned to Arthur that you would be back in about ten minutes. 
It was only ten minutes, but when you came back, everything was destroyed.
Your clothes were thrown around the room, bags upside down and emptied, and Arthur was nowhere to be seen. That caused your stomach to drop.
“Arthur?” You asked cautiously as you stepped into the hotel room, taking care not to step on everything around you. You walk into the bedroom and see him destroying the bed and throwing everything haphazardly around. You were scared to approach him, so you settled for calling out to him. “Arthur?”
“That should have been me!” He cried out in anger as his moves became more erratic and dangerous. “I gave my everything to Ferrari, and they overlooked me. Every. Single. Time. I’m tired of it! I deserved that! Why does Ollie get everything handed to him?”
“You have worked hard, love,” You comforted as you approached him slowly, resting a hand on his forearm to stop him. “You have done everything right, and you’re right. It’s not fair, but it's what happened, and we can’t change it now. All we can do is be supportive of Ollie and show our support. Ferrari will see you, I promise.”
“I will never be enough for anything,” He whispered as he started coming down. His shoulders dropped as the pillow he held fell back onto the bed, and he sank down to the floor. You followed him, quickly wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he cried into your shoulders. “I’m always overlooked in this sport. I’ll always be in Charles’s shadow. I’m never going to be good enough in comparison.”
“You have never been in Charles’s shadow to me,” You whispered back as you put your hands against his cheeks to pull his face off your shoulder. You wiped away his tears like he had done with you on so many occasions and left trails of kisses over the tracks that lined his cheeks. You gave him a minute before leaning your forehead against his. “You have been and always will be enough. You deserve so much. I know it seems like everything is crashing down against you, but your time to shine will come. It’ll just take some time and patience.”
“How do you know that? How do you know they aren’t just going to throw me out after they don’t want me anymore?” He asked. He sounded defeated, and it broke your heart to pieces hearing him doubt himself so much. “What if they’re only keeping me around because of my name? I’ll never live up to Charles.”
“Please stop comparing yourself to your brother,” You pleaded with a groan and a pointed look at Arthur.
“Why? He is better than me in almost every way,” Arthur tried to go on a tangent, but you gently squished his cheeks to stop him.
“I’m dating Arthur Leclerc. I have only dated Arthur Leclerc. I only want to date Arthur Leclerc. I love Arthur Leclerc. I have only loved Arthur Leclerc. And I only want to love Arthur Leclerc. Is that clear enough for you?” You planted kisses around his face with every statement you made before landing with the final one on his lips with a slight chuckle. “You are the love of my life, and I have always believed in you. You will always be enough for me because you are all I could ever want.”
“So you won’t leave if I don’t make it to F1?” He questioned as he leaned more of his weight into your hands. 
“Don’t speak that into existence, love,” You sighed. “But wherever you end up, I will always be beside you for it. I don’t define your success like that. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy to be with you.”
“I’m happy to be with you, too,” He whispered back as he finally smiled and pulled you in for a kiss. He moved his hands to the side of your neck and your cheek before he pulled back slightly and whispered against your lips, “What do we do now?”
“We support the team like we came to do, we cheer our friend Ollie on for this opportunity he got, and we show that you are just as committed to the team as you always have,” You said with a shrug. “There isn’t much we can really do besides that. If there is more, I just don’t know it. We’ll just go with the flow.”
“Can we get dinner and dessert?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “I could use a cheat.”
“I think you deserve a little cheat after today,” You chuckled, leaving a light kiss on the tip of his nose. “Anything you want.”
~~~~~
© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
92 notes · View notes
evangelineshifts · 6 months ago
Text
IF I SEE ONE MORE “how do i shift i’ve tried everything, methods, meditation, affirming and persisting, but it just doesn’t work” IM GONNA LOSE MY FUCKING MARBLES
DO YOU NOT GET THE CONCEPT LIKE IM PULLING MY HAIR. IM SORRY BUT STFU STOP WHINING AND LOOKING TO A PLANE OF EXISTENCE THATS LITERALLY DEPENDENT ON YOU TO MATERIALIZE AND JUST DO YOUR SHIT IDK. EMOTIONS DONT MATTER. UNWANTED THOUGHTS DONT MATTER. DOUBT DOESNT MATTER. SHIT IS DONE. IDK WHAT TO FUCKIN TELL YOU LIKE THE ANSWER ISNT GONNA CHANGE FROM THE LAST TIME YOU ASKED IT SO EITHER APPLY OR STFU AND QUIT IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU.
sorry i didn’t mean that. dont quit. never quit. but my GODDD it’s tiring cause not only are you solidifying this for yourself but also everyone else who is in the same position. yall need to be working together not poking holes in the ship and then asking for help 😭😭
with love,
Evangeline Belle 🍓
60 notes · View notes
cccakessslicemeee · 3 months ago
Text
Not me immediately thinking about Fig and Riz's relationship and assuming that Fig is the friend who would have to ask "hey are you mad at me?" When she feels like she's done something wrong
In my head I'm thinking after the events of season 2 Fig starts to pull back a little bit from Riz because she feels like she's an asshole for having three cool dads and sisters and then a step brother and more family on the way...but Riz just has his mom. She's amazing and awesome but maybe fig feels like she's usurped Sklonda a little bit? Like damn she's got this big ass family and of course Riz is apart of it but is he mad at her? Is he jealous? She can't even blame him..his dad sounds cool as hell but they can't even see one another because they exist on different planes. Is she a bad friend? Is she ruining another family?
Riz notices the pull back and he's like fuck what did I do? And spirals as he do wondering wtf did he do wrong?
They avoid one another for a little bit but it's still civil until Fig is the first to break. She seeks him out because she has to know are you mad at me?
Fig is on her knees in tears because obviously he must hate her guts for being a piece of shit and sticking her horns in his family and smashing everything to bits. She can't help it, whoops she's really a demon after all. Just like Gilear said she was
Riz is baffled and immediately relieved Fig what the fuck? No I'm not mad at you? Why do you think that? Are you mad at me?
YOU SHOULD BE! IM THE WORST! I stole your mom right out from under you and she's like your whole goddamn world. Your only support. And I already have three dads but I'm greedy I guess and your mom is my mom too now and I don't want you to think that I'm trying to steal your family because I want you in my family too because you're a brother to me and I love you so much. You have to hate me. I'd hate me if I stole my dad's. Like I know it's different but if you dad stuff advice or whatever you can burrow one of mine ? Or all of them for awhile for whatever Gilear loves you almost as much as I do- fig is a blubbering snotty mess as she spills her guts to Riz about how horrible she thinks-no truly believes she's been. She nearly inconsolable leaving Riz speechless.
He's never felt like she's tried to take anything away from him. In fact she's added so much to his life and truly appreciates her friendship. She's so cool and fun and cares so much for their group it's staggering. He isn't so good with talking about his own feelings so he just hugs her and she melts into his chest probably getting snot and whatever all over his fancy clothing and then she has anxiety about that and he's like it's fine my entire wardrobe is the exact same outfit I really don't mind. (Even if it's kinda gross but he can shower it's cool.)
Fig probably says some weird shit about "I could pretend to be your dad and we can throw stones in the river" trying to be sentimental but it's so out of pocket and Riz politely declines. He assures her he's not mad and he's sorry she felt like that..he's not mad and their cool. About everything from day one and the possessed bit. They're all cool.
He knows in her own way she's just showing how much she truly, and deeply cares for him.
Maybe they get ice cream and for once Riz opens up a little bit.
The fucked up thing about beating Kalvaxus is, we won, we did what we were supposed to. Mom and I killed that bastard but my Dad still didn't come back home and there was never going to be a time where he could just... Come back and be here. I know he's okay in heaven doing what he does but...I don't know if saying this makes me selfish or not so I guess I'll just shut up...
Stop being so damn good all the Riz. It's your dad right? You should be selfish about wanting him here. That's so normal.
....I mean... Yeah I guess but he's doing stuff in heaven or hell? Or rather was? And now I'm doing stuff for him since I kinda fucked that up for him... I can talk to him when I find out anything useful for the mission-
That's kinda fucked up... He's your dad. Shouldn't you be able to talk to him whenever you want? Outside of some mission or whatever? Doesn't he want to talk to you?
Well yeah...of course. But I don't want to bother him when he's busy. He's doing important work
You don't think he thinks you're important?
Hard fucking silence
I know he loves me, you weren't there but when I saw him in heaven he opened up a door to the mortal plain for me and I could have just...jumped in at anytime but he asked me to stay and wanted to talk to me about everything. All the stuff I thought didn't matter because I already told him all the big important things at his grave. If he didn't want me there he would have thrown me out or no... He would have just let the devils do whatever...he. I blew his cover...I can't do that to him again he's doing important work.
You ARE important though.
I...yeah okay...thanks
I mean it
I know that
Do you? Do you really?
I have no reason to believe you'd lie to me. At least in this particular instance. So thank you Fig...for that.
Hey anytime. Also have you considered moving into the manor?
Fig. No. Im already there enough.
You should just move in!
And then they enjoy the rest of their day doing xyz
48 notes · View notes
zzztlk · 2 years ago
Note
i am FASCINATED by how you implement textures into your art - esp like for walls n shit lol. everything feels spicey n crunchy... i know you use procreate but are there any specific brushes or otherwise that you use for your effects?
Hi ty! A lot of ppl ask about textures so here's a quick demo along with the brushes I use. I just go over the solid color in low opacity in different colors with different brushes most of which are default in procreate: Salamanca, gouache and fresco for streaks, stains and general textural and color variances in the material. I also use this splatter brush for specks which can be emulated with brushes that already exist within procreate, but you can find the pack im using here: https://www.truegrittexturesupply.com/products/krafttone
And I do it on a clipping layer right above bc i feel it's easiest to let me select certain areas of the texture and resize it depending on if there's a plane change or smth else that needs to be done. Hope this helps !
Tumblr media
311 notes · View notes
underthegates · 7 days ago
Note
Im not convinced the guildless exist. You mean to tell me over half the *plane of guilds* isn't *the guilds*? Seems like a pr stunt. By MY estimates, the guildless are only 5% of the population.
evidently, your estimates are faulty. if somehow you genuinely hold this position, I highly recommend leaving your guilds stronghold for once in your life.
if a job isn't done by the guilds, it's done by the guildless, couriers, cooks, janitors, street sweepers, teachers, salespeople, cobblers, tailors, cartographers, and chandlers, just to name a few off the top of my head.
i'm not even going to touch the conspiracy theory that it's some form of "pr stunt" i'm not even sure who'd gain what off of that.
20 notes · View notes
lellu · 28 days ago
Text
see drv3 canon hates me bc im a horrible little creature but i do think that maki and kokichi becoming postgame vr au friends would be really funny like. if i didnt actually kill anyone and you didn't actually kill anyone then whos driving the plane.
the specific brand of friendship u fall into when u hate yourself a little that comes from "well i dont respect you so i dont give a fuck what u think of me. but ill exist in ur presence bc looking at u makes me feel like maybe im not the Worst person ever bc thats you. wait shit now i seem sort of cool to you goddamn it." the comfort of knowing the other guy Cannot claim the moral high ground. but the feeling is mutual
and yk what ill come out and say it i think maki should feel bad for the shit she pulled. i dont really blame her for it bc she was responding to shit the way she knew how just like everyone else i think thats fun. like i love my girl the maki roll. i just think that if she gets the chance to actually think abt it all a little self reflection would do her good. (not that kokichi doesnt too but at least the game is like yeah he knows he done fucked up and he feels bad abt it. not enough to do things differently. but thats why i like him.)
also kokichi having to contend with a maki who didn't actually kill anyone outside of indirectly in the simulation (birds of a feather amiright) would be a little silly. i just want them to be awkward and annoying at each other without the risk of murder ok. yeah im a sucker for when fanon siblings them why do u ask
21 notes · View notes