#he also had a tiny little crush on sirius while he was in hogwarts

[loserboyfriendrjl]

Hcs abt Benjy Fenwick

ravenclaw, in the marauders’ year

ironically, his favourite colour is blue. a muted, dark blue is usually his to-go for getting dressed outside of school

loves the smiths

taught himself how to play the guitar. he doesn’t play it as well as he would like to, but he’s trying his best

very logical, doesn’t let his emotions get in the way when he has something important to do

lives by the beach, and goes for a walk with his dog every day when he’s home

has a lot of friends at home and, if he ever had friends from hogwarts coming over for the holidays, he always made sure to introduce them to each other

likes reading by the beach, too. his favourite author is oscar wilde, but he likes reading just about anything

never makes his bed, and is generally quite a disorganised person (his dormmates are all the same, so their room is always a mess)

rides his bike all day when he’s home, it’s his favourite way of making time pass, ever since he learnt how to ride

he doesn’t like silver jewellery, he always preferred gold. his favourite piece is the necklace he got from his mother when he turned eleven, before he left for hogwarts

[xioyume]

Hiya~Dear Author I'm just New in here and I got a very crazy idea for Young severus Snape when his Girlfriend is a k-pop Idol like she was very popular and Wealthy.. And her family really loves snape thanks!

Notes: Crazy ideas are the best ideas! Thank you for giving me the chance to write this, it sure is something different from what I’ve seen in the Severus Snape x reader tag and I love; I hope you like what I wrote too 💖💖

Edit notes: I’M SO SORRY! I WAS WRITING THIS BUT THEN SCHOOL GOT CRAZY AND THE HOLIDAYS CAME AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT! I APOLOGIZE TO YOU AND THE OTHER ANON I OWE 😭😭

Warnings: a little bit of enemies to lovers, the Marauders being little shits, Reader’s race and ethnicity are not established but she comes from Mahoutokoro

Young Severus Snape with a K-pop idol girlfriend

If we’re being honest here, Severus probably hated you when he first “met” you (aka when he saw you entering Charms class and he didn’t even said a word to you but ok)

You were a transfer student from Mahoutokoro School of Magic and already a celebrity in your second day at school. Many people at Hogwarts (especially muggleborns and halfbloods) listened to your music and found you and your voice as if it was heaven sent

Snape, on the other hand, didn’t find the appeal. He thought you were just another rich girl who wanted to show off her wealth and have everyone like her to keep her ego high

So he avoided you; boy already had some rich kids making him miserable, he didn’t need another one who was also a famous singer

This made you sad, since he caught your attention from the moment you saw him at the Great Hall and wanted to be his friend

And you may or may have not developed a tiny crush on that tall, mysterious, and pretty Slytherin boy you always sat behind of in almost every class

When you found out about his friendship with Lily Evans, someone less closed when it came to meeting people, you figured you could get close to Severus through her. So you reached to her and developed a friendship, formally meeting Severus when she introduced both of you

You started hanging out almost everyday and your crush on the Slytherin boy only grew stronger, especially when he became nicer to you

The three of you liked hanging out in the library or in the astronomy tower, your favorite place in school to relax and free yourself from class stress

But one day, a small group of Gryffindors came up to you; you knew them from your year, but never spoke to them. You guessed they were some fans, as you were accustomed to

They told you their names and that they were “big fans” of your music, and that they wanted to share one of their hobbies with you. You were taken aback a little, but found it very endearing and decided to go with them

That went as good as you can imagine, since you found them harassing your best friends, especially Snape who was getting hexed by Sirius

You stepped in and called them out, putting yourself between the Marauders and your friends to protect the latter, while Lily made sure Sev was okay. The commotion was enough for your head of house to appear; you told them what was happening and they managed to get the Gryffindor boys away from you

After that, Severus was more protective of you; seeing how you willingly stand up for him caused something inside his body to always feel a little fluttering sensation whenever you were close

Lily realized this and made it her mission to set you up

After an incident trying to grow some mistletoe near you and purposely leaving the two of you alone whenever she could, Lily squealed of happiness when Severus told her you finally got together after a night walk to the astronomy tower and a heartfelt confession under the stars he thought was a dream he didn’t want to wake up from

Now to your family

When you told Severus you wanted him to meet your parents, he panicked. It’s not that he didn’t want to, he just thought they wouldn’t see him as an good suitor for you and make you break up with him

After so many constant reassurance, you managed to convince him do it and, during Christmas, Severus and you went to your house to meet your family

On the contrary of what Snape had in mind, your parents were very welcoming and nice to him. Your mom happened to be very invested in the study of alchemy and had various conversations with through the holidays; your dad was very grateful for the help in the kitchen he provided and around the house, getting his approval very quickly

Your baby brother was practically mesmerized by Sev, constantly comparing him to his favorite character from his book and telling him he loves him in a way that made your heart want to burst

During the train ride back to Hogwarts, Severus hugged you, thanking you for giving him the chance to have a merry Christmas and that you are the best present he could ask for

Needless to say, you shared your first kiss on that train wagon; a memory that you would always treasure

If you wish to be tagged in future works let me know, and again I’m so sorry 😭

[ednamode1]

My Harry Potter Headcanons ft. The Prewett Twins and Dorcas Meadows (mainly)

Dorcas Meadows was in the same year as the Prewett twins. They were BFFs. Gideon and Dorcas were in Ravenclaw, and Fabian was a Gryffindor.

Gideon and Dorcas became friends after she helped him get away with cursing a kid for implying that Fabian was the dumb twin.

The twins would constantly swapped houses. No one besides Dorcas knew. She realized it in their 4th year and hates that it took her so long to figure it out.

Dorcas asked the twins how come they ended up in different houses. Their constant house-switching proved they were both intelligent enough to be in Ravenclaw (or brave enough to be in Gryffindor). They shrugged and said, "Thought it'd be funny."

When the Prewett Twins + Dorcas are in their 3rd year, Molly Prewett joins her brother Fabian in Gryffindor as a 1st year. 

Arthur Weasley is sorted into Gryffindor in Molly’s 2nd year

Twins + Dorcas are in their 6th year when Frank Longbottom and Alice Smith enter Hogwarts as first years. They’re both in Gryffindor. Alice develops a tiny crush on Fabian after he helps her find her way -- “The attractive 6th year helped me when I was lost and now I'm in love.”

Dorcas is Frank’s idol.  

The Meadows and McKinnons are old family friends. Dorcas and, after she introduced them and they became friends, Fabian (yes, Fabian, the Gryffindor twin) like to raid their library to learn more about the different types of magic. The McKinnon's don't mind. They believe knowledge should be free to anyone and everyone. Gideon has a more practical approach to magic. Besides, Fabian briefs him about everything he learns (and vice versa).

Though it was Marlene’s family that dabbled in obscure magic (dark and light), it was Dorcas who first suspected that Voldemort created horcruxes.

She mentioned it to Dumbledore + the twins. The spy overheard the following convo “I suspect You-Know-Who has done something with his soul.” He couldn’t listen further cuz Remus and Sirius arrived for the Order meeting at that time. After this particular meeting, Order members started dropping like flies.

The fact that Dumbledore suspected Voldemort of dabbling in soul magic made him paranoid. He enhanced the security on the ring and the locket and entrusted the remaining two horcruxes with his most trusted Death Eaters. This paranoia also caused him to seek and believe in prophecies. Eventually leading to his downfall.

Voldemort couldn’t risk anyone else finding out and went to kill Meadows himself. He underestimated her a little. The battle lasted for a while before Voldemort was able to kill her. She never told him any secrets. 

Voldemort would’ve liked to kill the twins himself but unbeknownst to anyone he was injured after his duel with Dorcas. So with Pettigrew’s help, he set up a trap and sent 5 of his best Death Eaters after the twins.

Everyone assumed Gideon was the hot-headed one (in Hogwarts he cursed anyone who implied his siblings were dumb), but out of the two, it was Fabian who lost his temper quicker. The Twins might’ve won if a Death Eater hadn’t cast Sectumsempra and injured Gideon. Fabian lost all rationality + objectivity in his rage, making it relatively easier for Dolohov to kill them.  

Voldemort ordered the McKinnons to be exterminated because he couldn’t risk anyone else figuring out his secret like Dorcas had. 

The twins couldn't meet Ron before they died. They never knew about Ginny.

These are a few headcanons I have feel free to use them (I'd appreciate it if you gave me credit or shared your work if you use these ideas). If some of these ideas are repeated/similar to someone else's, full credit goes to the og author.

[miiamour]

sorry, sirius!

gn!reader x regulus black (they/them pronouns)

summary: you fell in love with your bestfriend’s brother, and the two of you have to keep it a secret.

warnings: kissing, upset!regulus, maybe angst??, sirius being dramatic, idk lol

word count: 1.3k

a/n: this was the most voted so i must give the people what they want :) also i didn’t really know how to end this so, i’m sorry if it sucks & i didn’t proof read lol, i just wanted to get this fic out haha.

you recalled the first day of your second year at hogwarts. you were waiting for sirius at kings cross with remus, james, and peter. little did you know that it would be the day you met the boy you loved; if you were to tell twelve year old you that you’d be in love with sirius’ younger brother— you probably would’ve slapped yourself.

“there he is!” remus was the one who spotted sirius, being able to see over mostly everyone at mere age of twelve.

“hey guys! this is my little brother, regulus” sirius introduced him as he greeted the rest of you. he had the same hair that sirius had, only it seemed thicker and it grew to the nape of his neck. you noticed he was shy; he hid behind sirius the entire time, rarely speaking and when he did it was only to sirius.

now almost four years later, the same shy boy that you met your second year on the train was gripping onto your waist with one hand while the other was tangled in your hair as you two hid in a broom closet for a bit of snogging.

“ow—“ you mumbled against him when he pushed you against a shelf causing you to hit your head on a bucket of rags.

“sorry!” he broke apart from the kiss. only a few centimeters of space between the two of you as he rubbed the back of your head sympathetically.

“we have got to find a different place to snog that doesn’t smell of bleach” you breathed out as you moved a bottle of bleach away for your face.

“or” he dragged the word, “we could just go to my dorm instead of you sneaking into it at night” he said as he fixed his tie that was previously being tugged on.

“c’mon reg, you know we can’t do that” you kissed him sweetly, he didn’t return the kiss as he was too busy pouting.

last year, the two of you had gotten especially close due to him joining the advanced potions class where slughorn partnered the two of you together.

after a night of studying together in the library, regulus had gathered up the courage to kiss you and to his luck, you kissed him back. in all honesty, you had always had a tiny crush on regulus, although you felt extremely guilty about it. sirius was your bestfriend and i would have been wrong to go after your bestfriend’s brother— but technically regulus went after you so you didn’t feel too bad about it.

since then, the two of you had been secretly dating; midnight dates in the astronomy tower, sneaking around during sirius’ quidditch practices, and snogging in broom closet— hence your current situation.

“so, we can’t be a regular couple because you’re afraid of my brother finding out or because you’re embarrassed to be dating sirius black’s younger brother?” he inquired.

“im not embarrassed of you reggie! you’ve got a game today so don’t waste your energy bickering with me” you changed the topic.

regulus was never good with telling you how he felt but his facial expressions told you all you needed to know; he was upset, very upset.

“yeah whatever, i’ve got pre-game practice to go to, see you” he walked out before you were able to give him a kiss goodbye.

—

at the game you watched with peter and remus, who managed to get lily evans to tag along; james’ probably begged remus to get evans to come along.

peter had been cheering for his two best friends on the field, “did you see that?” peter shouted at you “james nearly caught the snitch!”

“huh? oh uh, yeah, so close!” you pretended to have been paying attention— well you were paying attention just not to james.

your eyes were on regulus and the way his hair got in face as he flew through the field. the way his hands gripped onto his broom. you wanted nothing more than to let the entire world know how much you loved him.

the game went on and both james and regulus were reaching towards the golden snitch and everyone was on the edge of their seats; even lily was cheering for james.

“whoohoo! let’s go potter!” lily yelled out, accidentally catching james’ attention. you could see his eyes light up before regulus shoved him out of the way and james nearly lost his balance.

“c’mon reg” you whispered to yourself as you saw the snitch only a few centimeters away from regulus’ fingers tip and then boom! he caught it.

slytherins were cheering and ran onto the field, congratulating regulus. remus and peter ran down to the sidelines where james and sirius stood with looks of annoyance.

you ran down the stands onto the field, pushing through the crowd of slytherin. regulus was sitting atop the shoulders of two of his teammates.

“oi! black!” you shouted out at him, you quickly caught his attention, and he hopped off of his teammates shoulders and his wide smile quickly faded.

“can i help you?” he said in an nonchalant manner.

you grabbed onto the sides of his face and crashed your lips into his. nothing but cheers and whistles in the background, but for a spilt second, it felt like you and regulus were the only people on earth. his hands placed on your lower back, pulling you closer.

everytime your lips were against regulus’ it felt magical, but this? this was freeing. it felt enlivening to finally be kissing regulus in front of the entire school.

once you pulled away, regulus had a huge grin on his face, probably the happiest you’ve ever seen him. his smile quickly faded when he turned to the right.

you followed the direction of his stare and your eyes were met with james, mouth gaping with pure shock on his face. remus, a look of not-so-shocked shock. peter, wide eyed with pure confusion.

and then there was sirius, his eyebrows were furrowed and he was blabbering like a baby, “but- did you- no! uh- what? how? why?- YOU!” you and regulus walked to the side of the field where the marauders stood, “you’re shagging my baby brother!” sirius cried out.

“i’m 16 and taller than you!” regulus flayed an arm around while the other was resting around your shoulder.

“shut up! the grownups are speaking!” sirius put a finger in front of regulus face.

you and sirius began bickering, sirius mostly spoke of how wrong it was and how angry he was, while you blabbed about how it wasn’t wrong and that he should happy for the two of you. both do you were interrupted by a loud noise— regulus fired a firework into the air.

“okay! it’s my turn to speak, big brother, and your turn to shut up because seriously do you ever shut up?” regulus concluded “i’m sorry, sirius! but don’t blame y/n. i’m the one who kissed them last year, and i don’t regret it, at all! because of it, i’ve found the one person that i want to spend the rest of my life with! they’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met, every minute i spend with them is the happiest minute of my life and every second i’m away for them, it hurts and i never want to be away from them!” he yelled as sirius stood silent and listened, if anything sirius looked almost— impressed.

it was the first time that regulus ever properly expressed the way he felt about you.

“i love you, y/n” regulus turned to you, cradling your face in his hands; the first time he ever said those words.

“i love you too, reg” you said before placing a sweet kiss on his lips.

“oh, well, i didnt know you two were in love! okay! alright! it’s fine by me” sirius cheered and interrupted the sweet moment you two were having.

“we would’ve been together whether it was ‘fine by you’ or not.. just saying” regulus stated before wrapping his arms around you and exhaling, feeling beyond overjoyed. it felt good to finally be able to be together, even if it didn’t last long. you loved him and he loved you, for as long you could— regulus was right about one thing; he spent the rest of his life with you.

taglist: @keepawaythenargles @anywherebuthere @myloveforluna @ga-bitch @starlight-writes-stuff @mnachopsis @slutforsalvatore @partr1dge @kenzie224 @crazy-beautiful @nefariousaffairs click here to join!

[quindolyn]

Kisses Hello, Kisses Goodbye and All of the Kisses In Between || Remus Lupin

Word Count: 1458

Notes: I’m working on your requests I swear I just don’t know if I will be able to write a lot this weekend so you get this tiny blurb to hopefully tide you over. If it’s any consolation what so ever, it physically pained me to write this, but now I’m also riding a high that will sustain me for an indefinite amount of time so expect more angst in the future.

Warnings: angst, kisses, jily death mentions, sirius death mentions, sickeningly canon

Masterlist

When Remus and you started dating you always greeted each other with kisses, a kiss on the lips, a kiss on the forehead, a kiss on the nose, a kiss on the knuckles. In private, your kisses delved beneath clothes, tracing his scars with your lips, leaving kisses on the insides of each other's thighs, along the curves of each other’s spines.

During your time at Hogwarts, you’d come down from his dormitory where’d you fallen asleep in his arms but awoken mere hours later to an otherwise empty bed. Finding him half asleep on one of the couches in the Gryffindor Common Room, curled up with his History of Magic textbook in his hands. You’d wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple, murmuring a gentle plea for him to return to bed in his ear.

Both during and after Hogwarts Remus would never leave for a full moon without giving you a kiss, in case it was, Godric forbid, the last time he’d get to. And when you saw him in the morning, even if he wasn’t awake yet you’d press kisses to his lips, dusting the entirety of the canvas of his face with feather-light kisses, along his lashes, against his cheekbones, up and down the bridge of his nose.

Kissing him “Hello” again when he finally pried his eyes open, blinking as he lazily opened his eyes, wincing as the harsh sunlight of the morning coming through the windows flooded his irises. 

Kisses goodnight, wrapped in each other’s arms, legs intertwined with your head pressed against his chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart while he found comfort in the crown of your head. 

“It’s been too long kisses”, tender without diluting any of the passion the both of you poured into them, reuniting on Platform 9 ¾ after spending the summer apart from each other, willing every second to pass more quickly so you could see your Remmy again, and he you.

Celebratory kisses, colliding in the hallway after finishing your OWLs and then eventually your NEWTs. Him taking you in his arms and lifting you off the ground, twirling you in a circle before setting you down on the floor and brushing the hair out of your face to press a kiss to your widow’s peak.

“Please don’t die kisses” before either of you left for a mission for the order, willing whatever divine powers that may be that your lover would make it back to you safe and sound, that you would see each other again. That this wasn’t the end.

Kisses to tell the other that you loved them, even before the two of you said the words aloud because you were too young. Too scared.

“I can’t believe you’re mine” kisses at the end of the ceremony of your wedding, in the car on the way to the reception, during your first dance, all night long at the hotel suite the two of you decided on. And of course, all throughout your week-long honeymoon, splayed across the warm sand of the beaches of Bora Bora.

“I’m scared kisses” the night before the two of you graduated from Hogwarts as you climbed into his arms where he laid on the velvet furniture of the common room. When the Ministry passed increasingly restrictive laws against werewolves. When James and Lily were murdered. Then Peter. And you learned that it had been Sirius responsible for the whole thing. 

Padfoot.

It couldn’t have been.

When you couldn’t get your hands on Harry, and instead he was forced to live with his dreadful aunt and uncle.

You and Remus had shared many kisses throughout your relationship. He was the love of your life, and you his. Kissing became second nature for the two of you, when words were simultaneously too much and too little, when no other actions spoke as loudly you had your kisses to communicate with each other. Though you often revisited your first kiss, you never actually thought you’d ever share your last.

It had been months of sly glances and brushing your fingers together as they rested on the table in the Great Hall or the library. Months of James and Sirius making not so subtle jokes at the both of your’s expense, of losing your train of thought as he would walk by you. Of him, Remus Lupin, star student, getting called out in class for staring at you instead of paying attention to the lecture. Months of this before you finally got sick of it and stormed up to him in the corridor, taking his face in your hands, pulling it down as you balanced on the tips of your toes to kiss him. What started off as a gentle but sure peck, morphed into a passionate embrace between the two of you as one of his hands found itself on the back of your head, threading his fingers in your hair and the other slung around your waist pulling you close to his body so that there wasn’t a centimeter of space between the two of you.

He didn’t allow you to pull back far as you gasped for breath, instead, resting his forehead against yours as the corridor erupted into cheers from your fellow students led by none other than James Potter and Sirius Black.

You wondered what 15 year old you and Remus would have to say about where you were now. 

The date was May 2nd, 1998, James, Sirius, and Lilly all dead. Peter a traitor, so much life having been lived between of you as one came to an end. A battle was raging around you as you sat crouched in an alcove, tucked away in one of the turrets of the castle, hidden from the madness of the violence just feet from you. Spells flying to and fro, only hitting their intended targets half the time, pieces of the historic castle crumbling and crushing soldiers on both sides of the fight. 

You didn’t care less about what was happening around you, how could you when Remus was lying in front of you, bleeding profusely from his abdomen. You reached out to try to stop the bleeding, pressing your hands to which chest and stomach but the blood seemed to be coming from everywhere and the feeling of your lover’s blood in between your fingers had you about ready to vomit. 

“Remus, Remus please stay with me!” You pleaded, tears pricking your waterline, “Remmy please, you can’t leave me, you can’t you can’t you can’t.” You blubbered as the tears started to flow freely down your flushed cheeks, leaving wet trails in their wake.

“Hey, hey,” You heard from beneath your quivering form, your husband’s clammy, shaking hand reached out to grasp your forearm, smearing blood along your skin, damp with sweat. “M’okay darling I promise, s’all gonna be okay.” As he spoke his words slowed and began to slur together, his eyes slinking closed as a hazed look began to overtake them. “You’re gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay.”

“Please don’t leave me,” You whimpered, leaning down so your faces were mere centimeters from each other, “I love you so much Rem, I love you too much.” You declared kissing his forehead.

“I love you too baby,” He smiled lazily.

In your desperation you pressed chaste, rushed kisses to his lips which tasted distantly of blood, listening to his breathing get slower and slower. Almost as if he was about to fall into a peaceful sleep.

Refusing to accept the imminent and obvious death of Remus Lupin, you prolonged your kisses, fusing your lips together and kissing him as though you could pour the life back into him. As though your kisses could counteract the blood gushing from his abdomen, whispering gentle “I love you”’s between them before stopping, not wanting Remus to waste his energy in saying it back every time.

You knew he loved you. He’d proved he loved you. All he had to do now was stay alive.

Remus pushed you back, murmuring to you, “Goodbye for now my angel, I’ll see you again soon,” As his eyes shut, his grip on your forearm going limp.

“No!” You screamed in agony, pulling Remus’ now lifeless form to press against your person, your clothes seeped in his blood, your lips dusting across his, taking all the warmth they had left with you, as a reminder that Remus Lupin had lived.

He’d fought, he’d cried, he’d laughed, he’d sung, he’d danced, he’d loved and been loved, he’d celebrated, he’d mourned, he’d persevered and overcome, he’d taught and learned.

He’d kissed.

You never thought you’d kiss Remus Lupin for the last time.

tagging: @randomoutsiders @weasleyposts​

[midnightmusings-et-moi]

mirrorball

Remus Lupin x femReader fluff

A/n: this idea came to me while listening to Mirrorball by Taylor Swift- it’s such a 🥰 song which I want to fall in love to so here’s a fic manifesting that lmao (also the gif isn’t mine;credits to the owner)

Warnings: kissing (?), Sirius being suggestive (what’s new) so 13 + , slight insecurity on part of the reader, FLUFFFFF, will make you want to attend the Yule Ball really badly

The stairs leading down to the great hall were carpeted with a luxurious royal blue. The marble railings had pearls and holly twisting around them and the air carried a serene scent of honeysuckle. Chandeliers were suspended above, casting a warm light on the delighted students. Hogwarts really was beautiful during the Yule Ball.

Taking a deep breath, you let the atmosphere calm your nerves. You straightened out your white silk dress that cut off a little above your knees in the front and cascaded down to the ground at the back. The straps closed in on where your neck and shoulders met, forming a gracefully simple halter design. Lilly had convinced you to let her do your hair- she was probably more excited than you about the fact that your crush, Remus Lupin, had asked to take you as his date to the Yule Ball. You were glad you succumbed to her incessant pleads because your hair was tied up in an elegant bun and had tiny pearls scattered across the auburn locks.

Ever since third year potions when you and Remus happened to sit together, you knew you were starting to really fall for the brown haired boy. You doubted he felt the same for you though- he was intelligent, attractive, kind and...perfect. There were so many gorgeous girls in Hogwarts so what made you special to him? Lilly however, would practically yell at you for being so “blind”. “YOU BLIND IDIOT HOW DO YOU NOT SEE HOW HE SMILES SO GOOFISHLY LARGE AT YOU?! REMUS IS HEAD OVER HEELS FOR YOU BUT YOU BOTH ARE BLOODY COWARDS TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!” she would often say.

When he asked you to the ball, you felt hopeful about things...maybe just maybe he felt something too? Or maybe he wanted to take you as a friend? All these questions buzzed through your head as you slowly made yourself down the stairs. Your fingers grazed the holly clad railings as a swarm of hippogriffs raced inside your stomach. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you reached to bottom of the stairs where the two of you had agreed to meet. You stretched your neck and scanned the room, searching for the boy you had crushed on for nearly two years.

There he was, standing with James, Sirius and Peter who were all laughing merrily at a joke. Remus looked breathtakingly handsome. He was the tallest amongst them all, his light brown hair that you had always desired to stroke was pushed back, his dress robes were navy blue and fit him perfectly. His face was etched with the scars of his secret which you admired- you always felt honored by the fact that you were one of the people he trusted enough to tell. Remus’ eyes sparkled as he chuckled at something James had said. 

 All of a sudden you felt your breathing quicken and your heart ache. You couldn’t do this. ‘Am i stupid?’ You thought to yourself, ‘Why would he ever like me when he could have any girl he wants? I’m just an ordinary girl- he deserves better than me.’ Consternation clouded your mind and right then you had resolved to go back to your dorm and if not you would probably throw up on him in a state of anxiety. Now that would be embarrassing. It isn’t like Remus would miss you anyways right? He could just get another girl at the last moment to be his date- and that lucky girl would all too willingly oblige. 

Just as you turned on your heel to go back up, you felt a warm hand wrap around your shoulder. You turned you head in confusion and you eyes were met with sparkling hazel ones- it was Remus. “ Y/n! You look gorgeous-wow” His sweet yet husky voice rang out, his eyes taking you in. Heat rose to your cheeks at his words. ‘He’s just being nice he doesn’t mean it obviously’ you told yourself, not letting yourself get hopeful just to be let down . “Oh uh hi there Remus. Um thanks you too” you greeted, slurring your words out, flustered. His lips curved upwards in a smile and his hand left your shoulder. He raised his eyebrows, silently asking if it was okay to take your hand. You nodded slowly, still in a daze. Remus’ large hand softly enveloped yours as he lead you to his friends. 

Sirius looked away from the girl on his arm who’s name was Marlene. She smiled at you cordially and complimented your dress. Sirius’ greeting on the other hand was well- unique. To expect anything else would be out of the question though ; you had known him ever since you were seven because of boring pure blood family banquets you were forced by your parents to attend. The two of you always sought each other’s company instead of those other stuck up, nauseating witches and wizards present . “y/l/n! good day!” he said, mockingly bowing. “Don’t you look ravishing, little one” You rolled your eyes jokingly at him, trying to seem calm and respond like you normally would, “Yes hello to you too Sirius.” He joked about you him being your mentor in regards to sneaking away and pranking slimy, prejudiced, pure bloods. 

“Hi y/n how are you” James greeted you sort of distractedly, looking around you. “Prongs! stop looking for Lilly jeez she said no to you five times i seriously doubt she’s gonna change her mind now” Sirius said exasperatedly. “James was hoping Lilly would be with you” Remus explained, chuckling lightly in with a mocking undertone. James crossed his arms at Remus’ taunting, “Oh don’t pretend like you weren’t worrying your arse about y/n ditching you because she was 2 minutes late” Remus scowled at his friend, red staining his cheeks.

“Awww” you giggled, sort of relieved that he actually wanted you there. So maybe there was nothing to worry about. ‘Just relax’ you told yourself. Remus returned you smile still blushing and gazed at you for a bit until he was broken from his reverie by Sirius voice. “Moony why do you look like you’re mentally undressing y/n- save it for after the ball when you can actually do it” he said winking suggestively, causing the whole group to break out in a chorus of laughter. Remus scowled at Sirius, shoving his shoulder playfully. Your face turned red as you shoved him too “Do you always have to be so immature and crude” you remarked, shaking your head in feigned disappointed. Sirius stuck his tongue out at you. 

You felt Remus grasp your hand, “Let’s get out of here before i get embarrassed even more” He murmured. “Let’s go dance” You suggested before racing into the great hall, hand in hand, the both of you chuckling at you trying not to trip in your heels. The great hall was decked out in gorgeous Christmas decor- enchanted snowflakes fell to the ground, pine trees were adorned with bobbles and garlands and a thousand candles floated around, casting light over the formally dressed students and teachers. A merry chatter floated in the air, instantly having you excited for what the night would entail. 

As you both made your way to the crowd, the band hoisted on the blue platform started playing Killer Queen by Queen. All the students including Remus and you starting cheering and dancing, full of energy. You grasped both his hands, reveling in the moment, jumping and dancing together, singing the lyrics till your throats were sore. As the chorus rang out, Remus pretended to be holding a mic to his mouth and sang the lyrics to you. You had very rarely seen this playfully goofy side of him and you absolutely adored it. Clenching your stomach which was aching from the waves of laughter that had overcome you, you fell to the ground, causing Remus to join you in the laughter. As his shoulders shook with uncontrollable chuckles, he reached his hand down to you, which you took. In that moment, you had completely forgotten about your anxiety and insecurities. Being here, laughing and dancing with him was enough. Nothing could be more perfect that watching his gorgeous face overcome with joy. 

A few moments passed, allowing everyone to calm down and catch their breaths until the soft tune of a piano being played could be heard. All the couples took their places on the floor and started swaying slowly. “Did I tell you how amazing you look tonight?” the brown haired boy asked you as he lightly placed his hands on your waist, guiding you to the notes of the music. Maybe he did mean it? Your heart fluttered at the thought. The mirror ball above rotated slowly, casting glittering reflections on the both of you. “You look quite wonderful yourself” you said as you hesitantly placed both of your hands on top of his shoulders and stepped closer to him. You gazed into his hazel eyes, searching for something you had wanted for a long time. He gazed right back, never breaking contact. Remus’ eyes glittered in the warm light and within them you identified happiness. Yes that was definitely happiness...but there was something more. Remus’ calloused fingers were brought up to push a stray strand of hair out of your face, his hand grazing your skin ever so slightly, again giving rise to the hippogriffs in your stomach but this time they were conjured from joy rather than nerves.

You had not realized how long the two of you were completely entranced by each other until the music came to a halt. The both of you were broken away from your thoughts, but remained holding each other. Then Remus spoke, never leaving your eyes, “Y/n... I don’t know how to say this. I uh I have never done this before” He said, a look of hesitance falling over his face. He took a deep breath before continuing. “You’re so wonderful in every aspect fathomable and I really like you”. Remus scanned your face, worry ghosting his expressions as you remained silent. Your face was blank, but internally you were processing what just happened. “I’m sorry i shouldn’t have-” he started, taking his hands away from your waist, but then you leaned up, taking his face in your hands and crashed your lips onto his. 

They tasted more marvelous than you could have imagined- like fire whisky and chocolate. All the day dreams you had gotten lost in during classes had finally become a reality. He kissed right back placing his hands on your lower back to bring you closer to him. Your hands trailed from his jaw to his neck, feeling the scarred, warm skin under your fingers- it was perfect, he was perfect. As you deepened the kiss you felt him smile against your lips before pulling away and placing his forehead on yours, reveling in the moment. “I really like you too” you whispered, your breath hot against his lips. 

Cheers erupted from around the two of you and you turned your head to see the three marauders and a group of students clapping and cheering the both of you on. “MOONY YOU DID IT!” you heard James yell out, a proud smile plastered across his face as Sirius cheered again. Your gaze fell on a particular scarlet haired girl who was jumping enthusiastically- Lilly. You smiled wide as the two of you exchanged excited looks. “I told you” she mouthed before blowing a kiss at you. 

Remus rubbed your back, pulling you into his side,bringing his mouth to your ear, “Wanna go up to the common room?” You nodded, pecking his cheek once more. You could not believe that he actually liked you- you could explode with happiness. When the two of you had reached the doors leading to the staircase where it was more quiet you stopped to take your heels off that were killing your poor feet. Before you could do so, Remus swiftly swooped you up in his arms, “No need, i can just carry you up” he said flashing you a large grin. You giggled, threading your arms around his neck and with your free hand carded your fingers through his soft brown hair. “I’ve always wanted to do that” you admitted. He laughed in response. “We can sit by the fireplace, I’ll get us some snacks and we can talk. We can also do more of this” he swooped down to plant a lingering, sweet kiss on your lips. “How does that sound?” 

“Mmmm that sounds perfect” You replied, resting your head against his chest. This felt like home. And the best part was that this wasn’t a dream- it was all reality.

Hi there! I hope you enjoyed. If you have any suggestions for what I should write next, let me know!

[spiltscribbles]

Prompt: remus and lily as siblings or half siblings or biological family in any capacity pls 🥺

Oh God!!! Baby!!!🥺🥺😭 This is such a favorite AU of mine!! I’m literally— sorta— writing a To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before AU right now and they are the bestest siblings in that!!!  They share a little sister and they are just so cute!! And Petunia is conveniently off in university oaiwefjoiaswejfiogreghoij And I just love Remus and Lily both so much it hurts!!! And so I wanna spit out a bullet point Ficlet at you! And I’m not even sorry just because I love you so endlessly for tossing this into my inbox foiwaeifmkaeoirfgjieoarujoidkioweajgh 

So like in my head, becs that Voldy bitch doesn’t know how to actually world build, the Muggle born children who get their Hogwarts letters, are also invited to join this like support group for ordinary folks with magical children. It’s like a thing that’s held in the Ministry of magic over in London once a month, and the parents are taught about the Wizarding world while their children kind of go to this separate room to intermingle and read Hogwarts; A History with one another, and just vibe, because pure bloods and those close to that have always sorta known one another and such, so this is a nice way for the Muggle borns not to feel so excluded.

So the thing is, obviously Lyall was a wizard, but also we all know I don’t fuck with him lmfao. So I picture that after he leaves for the final time when Remus is around nine, and finalizes the  divorce with Hope, she— being the bad bitch that she is, just marches to the ministry with her half-blood, werewolf son, and demands to learn everything about the world he’s part of, because she refuses to let him be deprived of anything. 

Eventually she becomes one of the tutors for the adult section because she’s such a quick study— being a professor herself back in Cardiff and just being an all around bombshell tbh. So one day, in February of 1970, there’s this ginger haired, northerner who stumbles in with his daughter who looks so much like him that it’s crazy— dimples and smile and upturned nose. Though she has her mother’s eyes, who had past away when she was only seven from a freak car accident.

And when he first shake’s Hope’s hand, he’s like kind of mind boggled over how beautiful she is, and thinks that maybe all wizards just put on some sort of charm to look unearthly, till he finds out that she’s as Muggle as he is towards the end of his visit. And he is just entirely love struck tbh.

And for the next couple months or so, he kind of just yearns from afar, and then spends the ride home to Cokeworth listening to Lily’s excited chortling about her friend Remus who’s apparently a half blood and who likes the same treats as her and knows how to draw things so amazingly, and it isn’t until like May, when he ambles to the other room and realizes that Remus is actually Hope’s fucking son, and he already knows that she said she began this group after separating from her husband who was a wizard himself. So Lily’s father— Nate— quite literally just shoots his shot and asks if Lily would like to get ice cream with her new friend since Petunia won’t be coming back from there Grams’s house till late, and Hope sorta smirks from over the kids’ heads because she sees exactly what he’s doing and is impressed that he’s finally done something for fuck’s sake.

And like obviously they fall hard for one another, and they probs get married like Lily’s second year at Hogwarts.

Wait, just Lily’s you ask??

Yes my beautiful duckling,  because plot twist!! (We lovee plot twists!!!)

In this AU i picture that McGonagall kind of visits during the summer months leading up to the children’s first year at Hogwarts, just to give them some supplementary readings and answer the questions for their future schooling, and when Dumbledore tells her about Remus’s full situation with his lycanthropy and all, she does some research, and figures out how Beauxbatons is much, MUCH more accommodating to “dark” creatures, and she’s already pretty chummy with Hope and knows that she’s actually a French citizen herself, the daughter of Algerian immigrants. So Remus technically has the possibility to attend Hogwarts or Beauxbatons, and so Hope and Remus talk on it long and hard, and she knows he’s already become fast friends with Lily and their thick as thieves with one another, but it’s also just so much safer for him.

So the week before Lily is set to go off to King’s Cross, they fly over to France and they get Remus settled in his dorm abroad.

I think while they’re away, Lily and Remus actually somehow become closer, because their parents are still dutifully dating and neither of them are all that familiar with their surroundings, so they send one another so many fucking letters through that first term, that the owls of their schools always give them the dirtiest looks lmfao. And they really catch on like a house on fire, like it’s one of those relationships that is just innate? Like you know when you have a best friend you guys kind of just slip into one another lives? Like even when you don’t talk for a while or whatever, it’s just natural<3 <3 

So neither of them ever spend the hols of winter or spring in Hogwarts/Beauxbatons, becs that’s when they really get to vibe.

They tell one another the different cool charms they’ve learned, and hate that they can’t show them with their actual wands yet. And they watch all their favorite films and almost adopt this secret language that’s only the quirk of their brows and twitch of the lips, and Petunia hates how freakily attuned they are with one another and sneers at them for being such freaks in all aspects. Also in this AU Lily fucks off from Snape wayyyy sooner, because instead of having to deal with that nasty, bigoted, slime ball she has the cutest and funniest and most amazing bestie in Remus!

And before Hope and Nate exchange vows in the winter of their second year, the little family of five go to this tiny park that’s all lush grassland and a shiny jungle gym and a pair of swings tucked away by trees, and they sit at this picnic table, and Hope— with her steady, ever buoyant voice, explains to them why she and Remus decided to send him to Beauxbatons instead of Hogwarts, and Petunia is like gawking in fright, and Nate looks sort of distressed, but Lily just cocks her head and shrugs her shoulders, because it’s still Remus— her closest companion Rem— and nothing could change that. So she takes his hand from where it’s fiddling with a splintered piece of wood on the tabletop and she squeezes it tightly, watches him glance up at her with the late summer wind billowing in his tawny curls and the fear in his honey eyes, and she simply tells him that it doesn’t matter. And Lily will never forget the way his features spasm at that, going suddenly loose and bright and thankful, and then Nate probably tousles his hair and kisses Hope’s temple and shyly asks how they should accommodate once they move in with one another.

And that park becomes sorta special tbh.

It’s in that alcove with the swings and trees where Lily and Remus go when things are becoming too much, or they would just like to escape the world by one another’s side.

It’s where they tried their first cigarettes that Remus had gotten from an older bloke in Beauxbaton’s when they were thirteen and feeling adventurous. And where they go to listen to the releases of their favorite albums, and when Remus told Lily that he’s gay for the first time before leaving to both their fourth years and it’s like one of those spots they both think of and feel golden.

Oh God! Imagine how cute of a celebration that Nate and Hope hold for them both becoming prefects!!! Hope and Nate definitely insist on some sort of summer todo! And they invite their friends and all that jazz and OMFG what if Lily’s wearing some sorta powder blue sundress that matches Remus’s oxford shirt and they both are grimacing in all the photos and are just not thriving foieajfoierjgiearfoijsdkgxh But like they would be doted on rotten that whole day! This is so cute! OMFG! And this probs means James became Prefect as well and so Remus gets to tease her when he sends her some sort of congratulations letter and she’s totally blushing and trying to hide her grin, and Lily retaliates by kicking his ankle tbh bahaha 

Okay also now I’m thinking of like Lily’s like fifth year, and her Muggle studies class is doing some sort of seminar to see if these idiots can actually survive in a totally Muggle area without a lick of magic, so like it’s spring hols, and guess who she’s partnered up with??? 

Cookies for you because we all know she had to work with James and Sirius lmfao!!! 

And she’s totally still trying to hide her crush on James— who’s nearly always leering and winking her way— and she might actually punch Sirius’s face simply because he’s such a smug bastard, and being from a working class family like herself, she’s like always ready to fight preppy rich boys tbh

So James and Sirius decide to plan out the simulation in her house that’s right outside Cardiff and Remus is cackling the entire morning before they’re set to arrive because she’s so pissy about it lmfao

Okay so like obviously the boys end up taking the port key and land in front of her place and it’s Remus who answers the door, still painted with humor because Lily was just screaming about “if Potter brings that insufferable snitch here I’ll bloody shove it up his arse” and James is immediately on the defense because Lily’s only ever talked about her sister and brother who live with her at home, and this dude is golden where she’s pale and has curls over her straight hair and just, obviously they’re not related by blood at all. And for his part, Sirius is like *Oh! Oh! Oh! Pretty!!! Pretty boy!! Muggle boy? Pretty Muggle boy!* 

But Remus obviously knows who they are straight away, so he like waves them inside before rounding to the stairs and calling for her to stop clogging the toilet or something else mortifyingly embarrassing, and Lily promises to put like pickles in the next set of face masks that they do because she knows how fucking allergic he is to them, and she wants her chuckles damn it!!  

“Potter— Black,” is how she greets them with a derisive sort of glower that Remus can completely see through, so he has to excuse himself while laughing over to the kitchen. “You’ve met my delightful brother I see.”

And James’s entire posture relaxes and he’s back to grinning like a dope, and the only weird part is that Sirius has got on the very same face, *Pretty Muggle boy is Evan’s brother* So like they are both scary levels of elated, rip.

But sucks to be Sirius because Remus leaves after that to meet up with a friend from town who’s also the best dealer tbh, and  so he has to deal with James’s awful levels of flirting with Lily while they scrounge up their itinerary to send their professor for the seminar type thing, and he doesn’t even have a pretty distraction XS

But Lily does force Remus to come along with her on the trip to London because “On God, if I spend a day alone with those bellends by myself I will punch a wall” 

And it is literally the worst, but best double date/first date that’s full of Sirius and James fucking up with everything— including asking some poor Tesco employee where are their fudgeflies and giving a homeless man a hand full of galleons and James’s snitch somehow ending up in the meaty hands of some kid at the tube. But also tbh it’s hella cute when Lily lets James give her his jacket when they’re walking along the Thames and it’s getting chilly, and when Remus lets Sirius share his stick of cotton candy and they both sorta stare at the sugar on each of their lips.

But then they go to some tiny museum, and while they’re looking at a impressionist piece, Sirius is totally trying to show off to Remus and is explaining how he could turn the bench their sitting on into a really nice bouquet of Lupins, and in the middle of his stupid showboating, Remus lightly corrects him on some facet of Gamp’s law, and Sirius freezes— shocked still— and he’ sort of gaping like an idiot, before Lily stops his blustering with a scoff “He’s a damn wizard also you arse.”

And Sirius is floundering for the rest of the evening, and he has so many questions, but they all die on his lips every time he glances over at Remus and he’s just smirking at him with this electric glint in his golden eyes

So obviously when they’re back at Hogwarts he pesters Lily every second of every day about Remus, and why he’s not at Hogwarts. “None of your fucking business.” And asking where Remus goes instead. “Beauxbatons, thankfully far away from you.” and he asks her about a thousand other questions that Lily either scoffs at or simply cuffs him around the head for daring to even try getting his address.

And she pokes fun about the situation to Remus and tells him how much more of an idiot he’s acting like, and how hilarious it all is. And she’s shocked when he responds to her letter merely by saying, “Hah- he’s cute.”

And so obviously she shoots back a reply that’s a letter of all his worst traits, mainly that he’s an arrogant toerag, and that he’s a posh idiot who could probably live off his inheritance for three lifetimes without blinking, and about how he doesn’t date anyone for longer than a couple months, and how he’s practically brothers with James bloody Potter, and yet again, Remus just tells her, Hah- he’s cute, before mildly moving to talking about his latest charms paper and how he’s been asked to be their DADA’s professors TA next year, and how Andrew keeps trying to try again with him but Remus would rather poke his eyes out with a spork.

So Lily is totally fuming when she recognizes that she’s lost and begrudgingly gives Sirius Remus’s info, after telling him lowly and with her most menacing glower, “IF you fuck around with my brother I will murder you without a flinch.” And she’s quite literally five feet nothing to Sirius’s broad, six-foot frame, but he knows that she could do it with a snap of the finger, and he promises that it’s not just a gag on his end. And Lily actually believes him.

So Remus and Sirius begin writing to one another a sickening amount, like so steadfastly that it gives Lily a complex whenever she finds Sirius waiting at the Owlry every Wednesday morning for the bird that arrives with two letters tied to it’s leg, one for each of them.

And God, one time, right before they let out for summer hols, Lily accidentally takes the one marked for Sirius— and holy christ!!!, She did not need to know just what exactly her brother has been getting up to in the sex department of things— like she legit contemplated using a memory charm on herself JFC

And Sirius probably ends up on their doorstep again in late July, with James at toe, and somehow their is a small harmony painted between the four of them, and it’s by Christmas of sixth year when James and Sirius begin talking about how amazing it’ll be when they’re actually in-law brothers, and Lily blames Remus for everything when she’s pretending to be cross over it, but then James puts his arm around her shoulders, and she sees how gentle Sirius is when he twines his fingers into Remus’s own, and it feels good, feels right. 

It feels like something that can be forever.

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Dating Remus Lupin Would Consist of...

Dating Remus Lupin Would Consist of...

Remus is an observant fellow. He happened to see you in the garden of Hogwarts, sitting with your friends. 

He was so unbelievably tired that day, the first day back from “visiting his mother,” that he nearly blinked and lost you. But then he heard your laugh.

Your laugh soon became the sound he cherished most in the world. You did not giggle childishly like the other girls, but instead you squeezed your eyes shut and chimed in laughter.

He couldn’t help but note how wonderful you looked. You wore comfortable clothing, trousers and a sweater to battle the Autumn wind, but you were captivating.

From then on, Remus Lupin had a huge crush.

He had heard your name from one of your friends who absentmindedly mentioned you during Transfigurations.

He would never admit this, but Remus would whisper your name to himself in the bathroom, enjoying how it rolled off his tongue. 

Remus Lupin was good at keeping secrets. He had fooled the entirety of Hogwarts into thinking he was merely visiting his sick parent, but there were three boys he absolutely could not fool.

At first, he tried to hide it, but one morning Peter caught him staring a little too long in your direction.

“What you lookin’ at that’s got you all slack-jawed.” Peter leaned to poke Remus on the skin of his cheek.

Remus would stammer back and quickly look down at his fingers which tightly held a mug of coffee.

Sirius pushed his head so it was directly next to Remus’, cheek to cheek. 

“I don’t see what you are so preciously gazing at,” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows, “Guide me so I may see what has caught our Moony’s attention.”

Remus could help himself and he would practically want to die when James poked his head up.

James Potter was a tall fellow, nearly taller than Sirius and much taller than Remus, so when he stuck out like a sore thumb when he searched the Great Hall.

“Oh-” James whistled before sitting down smugly. He leaned back, putting the back of his head into his hands. “Moons, I see,”

“What!” Sirius whined, desperate to see. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Remus cursed, burrowing his head into his arms.

“Oi, come on, that’s not nice,” Sirius rolled his eyes. James reached his long arm, stretching and grabbing Sirius’ chin to guide his eyes into place. “Well, in Merlin’s sagging balls, Moony’s got a crush!” Sirius yelled after his embarrassing staring.

“Nice one, that is,” Peter agreed, “Talked to her once in Muggle Studies.” “And, her tits look amazing.” James popped up making Remus furiously glare at him. 

If looks could kill, James would likely be dead.

“Prong, come on, mate,” Sirius shook his head, his voice disappointed, “We don’t talk about the ladies here like that, you know that.”

James slumped down, pouting and sheepish, “Sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry to me, say sorry to Remus,” Sirius instructed, pointing at Remus whose cheeks and ears had gone bright red.

“Sorry Moons.” Remus narrowed his eyes at him, deciding he’d forgive him after Charms when he’d really start to feel bad.

“Don’t be mad, Rem,” Sirius sighed, “You know James, he’s an only child, you know only children always end up odd in the head.”

“You know what Padfoot,” Remus rolled his eyes, “That would’ve been sweet if you had not forgotten that I am also an only child.”

Sirius’ mouth fell agape before quickly recovering, “Shut up about the specifics. Let’s talk about the fittest bird over there.”

“How come he can say fittest bird but I can’t say-” James began to argue but quickly stopped his protest once realizing how terribly wrong he was.

“Should ask her out,” Peter smiled toothily, “Give her the Moon Special.”

Remus would look at him in disbelief before shaking his head, “Truly think about what you’ve just said.”

Peter thought quickly before slowly nodding in understanding “I see, when I saw Moon Special it makes it sound like-”

“Pete, my love, be quiet.” Sirius shushed, placing his finger on Peter’s lips dramatically.

“Oh merlin,” Peter would gag, “You need to wash your hands after putting in hair gel.”

From then on, it was incessant teasing.

Remus would flush angrily whenever the boys would crack a joke, even going so far to throw all of Sirius’ pillows onfire. 

And still, whenever he could without the boys noticing, he’d admire you. 

Little did he know, you were also equally, if not more affected by a certain Lycanthrope. 

Remus thanked the souls of heaven and hell when you were paired together for Potions.

He could’ve thrown Peter out of a window and James right next to him for the googly eyes they made when you were turned.

Remus would stutter, something he hadn’t done since he was six, as he spoke to you.

But you were patient and kind, even cracking jokes and sharing notes.

It took a lot of convincing and even threatening for Remus to even try to ask you out.

But because you were equally nervous about him, you thought he was asking you to study outside of class. 

Remus was more than confused when he saw you with heavy textbooks in your arms, but decided to “go with the flow” as James put it.

The two of you sat together, whispering and laughing as quietly as you could.

When night drew to a close, Remus was most surprised when you said, “I really enjoyed studying with you, Remus, but I was wondering if next time... we could maybe...” you smiled shyly, “Go on a date? Maybe?”

Remus’ jaw dropped and he couldn’t think of anything else to say but, “I thought this was a date.”

That was the first time of many that Remus made you laugh so hard you dropped your books. 

When you began dating, Remus was nervous ALL THE TIME.

Any time he thought about you, he’d get so nervous he’d almost begin sweating and his heart would beat so fast he thought he’d have to go to the infirmary.

You were more open and easier to bring out of your shy shell. 

He’d often find himself groaning at your silly puns and nearly shocked when you’d make the occasional dirty joke.

Remus knew he had his friends’ approval when you made a joke about Dumbledor’s sagging balls the first time you met them.

Sirius later said he thought you were so funny he’d shit himself.

Peter agreed while James slapped Remus’ on the shoulder.

Dates consisted of walking the grounds at Hogwarts, going to Hogsmeade and even sneaking out to the kitchen as night.

He had gotten in trouble maybe once or twice with McGonagall for allowing you to accompany him on late night rounds, but that was quickly forgiven as McGonogall seemed to favor you out of any of the students at Hogwarts.

One of Remus’ favorite things to do was to grab you by the waist when you weren’t expecting it.

You’d squeal and squirm as he pulled you in for a hug, telling him “One day you’ll scare me so hard I’m sure I’ll become a ghost.”

You loved to hold Remus’ hands.

Though Remus’ hands and arms had scars, you enjoyed tracing the tips of your fingers along the lines.

Remus found this soothing. He also particularly enjoyed when you went off course and decided to draw tiny hearts on his skin.

The two of you constantly found yourselves giving reminders to the other. 

“Have you drank water today? No? Don’t you think that’s something you should do?”

“Remember love, we have that essay for Charms due next Wednesday. If you don’t begin now, you’ll complain and whine about it and I’ll have nothing to say but ‘I told you so.’”

Remus found it adorable how much you loved to cuddle.

No, like, seriously, you loved to cuddle.

Sometimes, he’d be working away at a homework assignment, and you’d disappear somewhere in his dorm.

After stretching his neck, he’d see you laying down comfortable on his bed.

“What’re you doing all the way over there?” Remus asked, laughing lightly.

He couldn’t help but grin when he’d see you move the covers and pat the spot next to you rapidly.

“No no no, Darling, no, we’ve got homework and assignments to do.”

You would continue to pat, nodding your head fastly and giving him a grin.

Eventually, as always, he’d give in, grumbling to you that you’d only cuddle for “five minutes,” which usually translated to “that assignment won’t get done until tomorrow.”

Your favorite position, and his too, was when he rested his head on your chest.

It wasn’t his favorite because of your breasts, though that was a huge plus, but mostly because he could hear your heart.

Sometimes, it was slow, if you were drifting asleep or tired. Sometimes, it would beat fast.

It was your favorite position because there you could play with his hair, pulling and scratching lightly. It was also a lovely spot to rub his back comfortingly.

Remus spent copious amounts of nights, sitting with the boys, his head nearly between his legs as he cried.

He knew he’d have to tell you about his disease, he knew what your reaction would be and he knew it was selfish to keep it from you, but he had just gotten a taste of love and was quite sure he would die of withdrawal.

“Mate,” James would say softly, drawing an arm around his friend’s shoulders, “She isn’t going to care, werewolf or not, she loves you.”

“She’ll leave,” Remus whimpered. 

“No, she won’t,” Sirius shook his head, arms crossed and leaning on the dresser, “And if she does, it won’t be because of your werewolf-ness, it’ll be because of your hairy-toes.”

Remus felt a terrible ache in his chest, nearly dry heaving at the feeling.

“Really?” Peter would scold, “Padfoot, now is the time to bring up hairy-toes? At a moment like this?”

James rolled his eyes and continued to comfort his brother.

“As they say, humour is the medicine for all tragedy.”

“Tragedy?” Remus cried out.

“No! What I mean to say,” Sirius quickly recovered, “Is that you have nothing to worry about. Y/N Y/L/N is the last girl to ever be judgemental, I mean have you seen her-”

“Learn when to shut up.” James would warn. 

Sirius shut his mouth quite quickly. He knew there was no actual flaw to your personality or you in general, but sometimes Sirius really put his foot in his mouth when it came to emotions.

“What if she does?” Remus asked after a while.

“Does what?” Sirius sighed, sitting next to Remus on his bed. “Leave?” 

“Well,” Sirius pretended to think after a bit. He put his arm to hug Remus close, “We kill her.”

As much as Remus felt awful, he couldn’t help but laugh at his friend’s absurdity and utter bluntness.

“No, but seriously, no pun intended, she is an amazing girl, truly, and you’re a somewhat okay bloke. You’ll be fine.” Sirius finished.

Remus was shaking when he told you.

He had asked you to meet him in the Astronomy tower after dark and had arrived nearly an hour early to pace and fret.

Hearing your footsteps climb the stairs, Remus thought that falling off the tower might be better than telling you.

When he did finally say it, he shut his eyes tightly. 

“Oh,” you said. “Well, that’s certainly a surprise.”

Remus would sputter out apologies and acceptances of the break up and promises to leave you alone for the rest of eternity. He only stopped when he heard you laugh. That laugh. The laugh that he so fell in love with you for.  

“What? Who said anything about breaking up?” you shook your head with a grin. “You’ll have to try harder than that to get rid of me.”

Remus never felt more relief when you connected your hands and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

“Only thing that matters to me is that you don’t kick dogs and you don’t hate ABBA. Thas all.” 

Quick Snapshots of Dating

You were the first to say I love you.

You watched Remus help some lost First-Years find their way along the changing staircase.

He just looked so sweet and kind and made you laugh when he responded to some kids asking him about his scars

“I literally killed a bear, with my hands. A huge bear.”

You couldn’t help it but pull your lovely boyfriend into a corridor and press a long kiss to his lips.

“What’s that for?” Remus teased. “The idea of me fighting a bear that attractive to you?”

When you said it, Remus’ knees buckled. 

His mouth went dry, he couldn’t say anything

Despite VERY MUCH wanting to say he loved you too

Instead, his mouth fell open and you laughed and kissed his nose

“See you after Potions,”

Remus made sure, that night when you were cuddling, to hold you closer than ever, telling you how much he loved you.

“I love you, I do,” Remus whispered, but quickly became nervous “If that’s alright with you.”

Remus becomes quite grumpy on Friday mornings.

You aren’t totally sure why, considering you are so close to the weekend, however you’d always have a cup of steaming dark coffee for him.

Despite the cold weather that Scotland brings, you always insisted on going outside for at least an hour on weekends.

Remus was rather shy when it came to PDA

He much preferred to kiss you in the privacy of one of your beds with the curtains drawn.

But, on the rare occasion, he’d sneak you a kiss between classes.

He couldn’t help it.

You had a habit of giving him cute eyes and saying, “Kiss, please.”

One of the boys would always see and pretend to throw up.

Becoming increasingly closer to Remus’ friends as well,

James was rather proud of his little Moony, always nudging him and asking him how his dates were.

Sirius would complain, but would always allow you to braid his hair, sometimes you’d place little flowers in them as well.

You always knew how to make Peter snort with laughter, it became dangerous when you were around during dinner as something always flew out of his nose.

Remus being more than content, ecstatic and heavily in love with you.

[druigsfavwitch]

My Outer Shell- Young! Sirius Black x Female! Reader

Requested- yes :) by my bestie 

warnings- some cuss words (when is there not-), fluff, tiny, tiny bit of angst (you have to like squint, and ben barnes ;)

summary: Sirius has a crush on the quiet girl at hogwarts that everyone seems to have different options about. He manages to talk to her but realizes its difficult to express your feelings to the ones you love

Sirius was very popular at Hogwarts. For starters, he and his friends did manage to get in a lot of trouble. But, he also had the reputation for being attractive. He was known around for being a ladies man. However, he never really had a significant relationship. He had just never found the one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with or something cheesy of that nature. Basically, he just wants a women he can chase around like James for the rest of his life. That’s exactly what he found in 7th year.

This girl was also the talk of Hogwarts. For a very different reason. She didn’t talk a lot at Hogwarts. She rarely ever gave people glances in the first place. She just had a resting bitch face, as Peter would say. The boys of Hogwarts either hated her for strived for her attention. The girls, however, hated her. Not almost a single one liked her. Except for Lily and Marlene, of course. They had actually met the girl on a few occasions and talked to her. They described her as ‘the sweetest thing to ever grace the earth’. Of course, they were the only ones who knew that. For now :)

Sirius had a few classes with her. One of them was Care of Magical Creatures. He saw how every time there was an animal, her face lit up. It was like she outer shell was cracking and the real her was shining through. He would just smile watching her smile. This was his chance to get to know the real her.

One day, after Care of Magical Creatures, he followed her and watched her go in the library. He approached her and sat down across from her. She looked up, raising an eyebrow, which he found intimidating. “Hello! My name is Sirius. I actually just had last period with you. I saw that you are quite good in that class and i was wondering if you could help me with this quiz? I failed it last time.” He tried to smile kindly but the girl didn't say a word. She sighed, closed her book and got up to walk out. “Wait, I’m serious! I need help!” He called after her. She stopped and thought for a little bit. He sounded like he was being serious. Why doesn’t she just give him a shot and if he’s a douchebag, she can just make the rest of 7th year a living hell. She smirked. “What do you need help on?” She walked back over as he stayed, starstruck. “Um....well, if I’m being honest, everything. I just don’t understand a thing. Except for the dogs and wolves and stuff. I have some insider information on that.” He said smirking. She looked at him, confused. “Sorry, that sounded bad.” She giggled. Sirius could’ve died right there. ‘She is actually having fun. That's what a giggle means. Right?’ He was so caught up in his inner thoughts, he didn't realize she was staring at him. “Hello!? Sirius? You like disappeared for a second there. Thought i had lost you.” He smiled. “You just got me. Promise my mind won’t distract me while i’m learning about....hippogrffs.” She smiled at him and smirked. “I better have all your attention, Black. Whether we are talking about hippogriffs or dragons.” He smiled. “yes ma’am. As long as you promise you won’t quiz me on the dragon breeds. I’m just good looking” They both laughed, happy that they coukd be themselves, without their outershells.

a/n: :) i’m back! i’m gonna be doing more fics cause i be graduated :) yay me! anyways, i missed you guys!!!

[lyallblacklupin]

His wish, My wish.

Remus realized after two years that it wasn’t a crush, it was love. He was going to have his love in his life by granting him his wish. And it was just loving him back.

Four-poster beds with their backs to the scarlet walls of the dormitory, a table and a chair spilling ink-blotched parchments, creating a happy mess, and a faint aroma of coffee and home. Something an eleven year old Remus Lupin had thought he would never get enough of, until one day.

One day when he was seventeen, something else was clouding most of his area of thinking. It was like a thick mist surrounding his mind, mixture of the scent of musky sweats and cigarettes. Then a certain vision gradually takes shape. Long hair. Damp, mostly. Thick dark eyebrows. Eyes, silver dissolving into a deceiving blue. Sharp grin with teeth glowing like pearls. The tiny creases near the corner of those eyes, a vivid twinkle lingering about him, making his presence more discrete.

“Remus…” And that voice. That silky youthful voice, which deserved to be savored with his closed eyes. With Deep and long breaths, inhaling every ounce of softness of it.

“Remus?” 

“Remus!”

He bolted upright from his resting position, and found a very confused looking Sirius. Parted lips, flushed cheeks on his bright and snowy skin. Remus swallowed down the lump that had formed in his gullet.

“Uh, Sirius?” He wanted to kick himself for being barely audible, but apparently, Sirius was staring at him. There was a strange tension between them, but then finally the other spoke.

“You were…smiling the entire time,” Sirius’ face was unreadable, “Were you daydreaming about someone?”

“What? No. I was…I didn’t know I was smiling…”

“Maybe, must be a hallucination.” Sirius replied stiffly.

Silence. Tension. Uncomfortable breathing.

“You wanted to say something?” Remus asked.

“Oh, yeah!” Sirius’ face suddenly lit up, “I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. I was going to the Astronomy Tower.”

Remus thought this was a very intimate question because Sirius would usually go to Astronomy Tower if he wanted to be by himself.

“You want me to?” He asked hesitantly.

“Yes.” Sirius grinned, and Remus was pulling himself from swooning into him, “I feel like ever since we have returned from Hogwarts, I think we haven’t had a chance to talk.”

“Talk?” Remus never intended to say that out loud, so internally he was cursing himself.

“Yeah, I mean not something specific, of course. Just you know hangout…” Sirius smiled coyly, and this was a brand-new smile. Remus witnessed something very different about him. Was he blushing?

“Yeah, I think I’ll like that.”

                                                       ----

That was not an exaggeration. Definitely not. The stars were luminous and more than millions in the sky. There was no moon, but Remus felt that their haven was illuminating by the shining stars. Their haven. Only theirs’. He looked at Sirius’ serene face, and he felt like he was drunk, even though they didn’t have any alcohol around them. Sirius turned his face to him. His eyes went slightly wide and, his mouth quirked up in an almost smile when he saw Remus staring at him.

“Hey…” He whispered. And a rapid shiver ran down Remus’ spine.

“Hi.” Remus whispered back.

“You are staring.”

“No.” He didn’t turn away his gaze.

“You are.”

“No.” Still not turning.

“You are.”

“No.”

A tranquil silence of two seconds.

“I love you.”

“No—what?”

Sirius didn’t look away, but his eyes were sad. Their faces mere centimeters away from each other.

“Why does that surprise you?” Sirius asked him, fake smile curling his lips.

“No, it doesn’t. I mean you love me like you love James, and Peter, right?” Remus didn’t move an inch, even though he wanted to. But then, Sirius did a very strange thing. He lifted up his right hand, his fingers coming near Remus’ face. He didn’t move away. It was more like, he couldn’t move away. It was like he was hexed to be grounded, literally.

Sirius’ slender fingers traced the bumps on his face. He realized that he was touching his scars. He was curious why Sirius chose to do that instead of answering his question. Maybe he didn’t have an answer.

He started humming. Or maybe he did have an answer, but chose not to say it.

“Remus…”

“Why are you calling me Remus?”

“Because it’s your name.”

“You call me Moony.”

“I do. Moony.” Sirius chuckled, and his breath hit Remus’ face, “You are so…”

“Weird? Daft? Stupid?” Remus suggested.

“I was going to say magical, but yeah you are so stupid.”

They both laughed together. They were sitting too close. Remus knew that Sirius was sad because this was the version of him he had never seen. He was not loud in this very moment, he was not reckless, he was not whiny, arrogant, self-centered, egoistic—

“I wish you never leave me.”

Remus thought he was hit by a something large and heavy. His heart took a fall. Falling in the pits of nowhere.

“What?” He asked under his breath because he was unsure if his vocal cord would help him scoop up words after what Sirius had said.

“I wish I could be around you all the time.” Sirius’ eyes were glistening. Remus could see the sky reflecting in those eyes. The stars sparkling in there. “I wish I could comprehend what I feel about you. I wish it was easy. I wish it didn’t have to be so complicated.”

“You wish for a lot of things.” Remus finally spoke, but Sirius laughed.

“Yeah, I guess. I shouldn’t.” The hint of smile was still there, but his gaze was now lifted up to see the stars again.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t.” Remus saw Sirius’ hands sitting in his own lap. So white and pink even under their dimly emitted haven. He picked it up, and heard Sirius gasp by the touch. He didn’t intertwine his hand with his. He just held it and covered it by his other hand. He watched Sirius. He looked so small and vulnerable, but so open and raw. This was how he looked. 

Remus was sure now in the moment, that he was the only one who had seen this Sirius. He didn’t know to do with him. He just wanted to make sure that he was loved, and NOT abandoned. He partly knew why Sirius wanted him to never leave. He wanted something. Something he was not sure Remus would ever give him. Meanwhile, Remus also wanted something. Something he was not sure Sirius would ever give.

Remus guessed they were both wrong.

“You shouldn’t.” He repeated, “But you can wish for only one thing. Just one. Will that be enough?”

“More than enough.”

“Then, make a wish, Sirius.”

He closed his eyes for few seconds, and then opened it.

“Did you?”

“Yes.” Sirius replied.

“I promise I will never leave you.” Remus leaned in, closer enough that his lips were almost brushing Sirius’ cheekbone.

“You are not even close.” Sirius inhaled sharply, but not loudly. 

“I promise I will never let you be alone.”

Remus held the other face in his hand now.

“My hand is cold now.” 

“But you face isn’t.” Remus tittered, and so they both shaking with laughter, again. It was a stupid thing to laugh at, but that stupidity was so meaningful and beautiful.

“I promise that I will love you, no matter what, if you let me.”

And then, Silence. It happened so fast. Remus had said all of that as if it came straight from his heart, without any hesitation or doubts. He opened his eyes. He didn’t realize he had his eyes closed. He held Sirius’ gaze. Tears were still swimming within those brims. Remus wanted him to spill them. It was a weird desire. But then they did, as if the tears heard him. As if Sirius heard him.

Tears rolled down his cheek, and Remus kissed them away. He didn’t know it was going to be more heartwarming than he the thought it would be. Sirius didn’t stay in his place now. He was leaning in, shifting closer.

He wanted this.

As Sirius put in hands on Remus’ shoulders, Remus took the opportunity to wrap his arms around his delicate torso, and made him sit on his lap. He landed on Remus with a thud that bubbled out a sweet chortle from him.

They held each other just like that. Sirius’ head on Remus’ shoulders, while Remus rubbed soothing circles on his back. He could feel his spine there, and ribs too. He could feel them as parts of his own body. Every time Sirius sniffled, he would squeezed him a little tighter.

“What are you thinking?” Sirius murmured.

“A lot of things.” Remus said.

“Tell me one.”

“The fact how different you feel.”

Sirius pulls gently away to look him in the eyes.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, it’s not.”

Remus was thinking that all of the past two years, he had been attracted to Sirius because he was beautiful, defiant, smart, and talented. Everything was perfect about him. Everyone was attracted to Sirius. However. However. However.

Remus was attracted to him even more, as if he had just known a new Sirius Black. A real one. He was not just attracted to him. He was in love with him. His heart was still falling. It was falling in love. He was falling in love.

A soft brush of thumb wiped the tear that Remus didn’t realize had rolled down his own cheek. Sirius was fondly looking at him. Everything about him was different. Remus knew that all of this was just for him.

“This doesn’t have to make sense, huh?”

“It doesn’t.” Remus replied.

“We can be ourselves.” It sounded more like a reassuring question, than a reassurance itself.

“We can be anything we want to be, Sirius.” He tugged down the thick black lock behind his ear, “We can love each other as much as we want to.”

Remus knew that this world was too cruel to peculiarity. Queerness was one of those things.

“We are living for ourselves. We are not living for the world.” Again, Sirius sounded like he needed reassurance.

“I’ll take care of you, if you let me.” Remus pulled him closer than he already was. He nodded.

“I love these stars.” Sirius spoke after a while, “And I love you.”

“You are my star.” Remus smiled at him.

“That’s more than ‘I love you’”

That made them both laugh. Harder.

Who would have thought that few hours ago, a scrawny boy who was daydreaming about falling in love with his best friend, had now not confessed, but was told that his best friend loved him more than he ever did?

“You made my wish come true, Moony.”

[acciofanfics]

Teacher’s Pet (Remus Lupin x Reader) Part 4

Summary:  (Y/N) wants to be a professor at Hogwarts. Dumbledore offers her a chance to intern and figure out what she wants to do… hopefully she’ll make it through the year.

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Younger FemReader

Warnings: Age Gap, eventual smut, probably language.

A/N: I’m struggling with whether I should make this a longer series and try to keep a lot of canon movie moments or skip around and go ahead and get to the point??

———————————————————————-

(Y/N) didn’t know if she’d ever catch Remus Lupin in the Three Broomsticks. She didn’t imagine the man to have a personal vendetta against the establishment, just that he never seemed to have a lot of time recently to wander. Of course, it hasn’t been (Y/N) to spot Remus in the first place. It had been the other way around and Remus pondered if he should disturb the woman tucked away in the corner booth. Considering how rude it would’ve been to simply walk away knowing she’d mentioned having a drink with him before, Remus made his way to the table, “May I?”

(Y/N) looked up from a book. Her face immediately reflecting a look of pleasantness, “Of course! Didn’t think you ever made it off the castle grounds?”

He didn’t blame her curiosity. He rarely did lately. Remus had taken on giving some lessons to Harry on how to deal with dementors (Merlin knew the boy clearly needed them with all the run ins). Remus also enjoyed spending time with Harry when he had a chance. He just reminded Remus so much of Lily and James... plus with Sirius on the loose... well, he just thought it best to stay close to Hogwarts, just in case. Remus shook himself from his mental rambling, “It has been awhile... what do you say to me buying you a drink as a proper thanks for all those essays? What’ll you have?”

Remus noticed a mug of butter beer in front of the girl that was nearing empty. Though it was a loved beverage of witches and wizards of all ages, he didn’t want to be too presumptuous. Perhaps she’d had her fill already. However, he wasted no time in procuring two glasses of the drink when she confirmed she could go for another. He walked slowly back to the booth, careful not to slosh by foam towering over the rim. He also took notice of a few students scurrying away when he got closer. Their young faces gleaming with excitement, showing their motives. Remus slid a butter beer in front of (Y/N) before sliding himself in the seat opposite of her, “Some admirers I see?”

“Quite normal, probably. We’ve all had crushes on a teach or I guess someone in a similar position rather. I’m sure even you can relate?”

He could recall a few girls a few years ahead of him, which he supposed might’ve been similar. “I can’t really remember any of I did. And you? Gilderoy Lockheart was the professor last year, right? I hear many young witches fancied him.”

Remus wasn’t sure why he was prying for an answer he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted. It wouldn’t be like anything would happen between them... still he thought it might sting a little to hear that her type was the complete opposite of him.

“I won’t lie, I definitely thought about it, but I think it was more about the idea of it... that man was bloody awful, not a big shock he ended up at St. Mungos...” (Y/N) took a sip of the warm liquid. Though there was only a tiny bit of alcohol in butter beer, this hadn’t been her first. That must’ve been the reason she decided to speak so brazenly, “Of course, if you had been my professor, it would’ve been a different story entirely.”

Remus coughed, quite taken back by the bluntness of her words. Though he couldn’t lie he felt quite prideful and hope she was not simply pulling his leg. “Is that so?”

“You find that surprising?”

Remus nodded, not lying at all. He’d had a few partners in the past, but he still often found it surprising there were people in the world attracted to him. Sure, after all this time he’d come to terms with who he was, but he’d never really expected others to do so as well. Of course, Remus had to remind himself that (Y/N) didn’t know a lot about him at all. It was probably better for both of them that way.

“You shouldn’t. I mean if I’m attracted to you know, I don’t know why I wouldn’t have been then.” (Y/N)’s logic made perfect sense, but even having a moment to think while she downed the rest of her drink, Remus couldn’t think of anything clever to say.

“How many of those have you had?”

(Y/N) laughed and stood to her feet, “Maybe one too many? Don’t worry, I’ve never been quite fond of making the first move. You’re safe from my advances so long as you choose to be.”

“Leaving already?” Remus chose to ignore the confession and hoped she wasn’t really going to leave him alone to go over everything in his head.

“Yeah- sorry! I know you just got here, but Professor McGonagall asked me to do a sweep for any straggling students and their curfew is getting close. Better me find them than Filch.”

He nodded in agreement and said his farewells then watched the young woman leave the restaurant (tapping a few of the younger patrons in the shoulder as she went). Remus wasn’t quite sure what to think. He had his suspicions, obviously. But now (Y/N) has blatantly confirmed them. It would’ve been much easier to ignore his attraction if he didn’t know it was definitely not one-sided. Now he’d just have to rely on his willpower not to act knowing that he simply shouldn’t. Why was it that knowing you shouldn’t always made you want it more?

Taglist: @iamabeautifulperson18 @figlia--della--luna @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @idkitsrandxm @marvel-rhapsody @little-bit-of-randomness @nuttybeardetective @siriuslypadfootmc @tugabooos @obx-beach @badedum-badaboom @starlightkell @bepo-is-sorry @hamildork @shadesofbarryallen @lunaqveen @pxstelink @auberosier @harrypotter289 @levylovegood @sapphicnoodle69 @thestunningspell @themostdivisive @pan-pride-12

[faustrinus]

Between Snowflakes and Christmas Music

Wolfstar

THIS IS PART TWO! Hope yall enjoy it :) After Sirius's conversation with his brother, his spirits were so much better. He had been able to achieve what he thought he could never do- actually try and fix things with his only family coming from the Black's side. On the negative side, even with all that courage recently gained, he wasn't ready to go to the Christmas party and see Remus being all-loving and warm to Dorcas. Of course, he was happy for his friends, but he never expected Remus to invite her. So he had to choose a plan B, a plan B with blonde hair and fluttery eyelashes that was sitting in the middle of the Gryffindor common room. “Hey, McKinnon.” The girl waved, putting aside the book she was reading, “Black. Thought you were helping with the decoration.” “I was, but I had to do something and then I decided to come here,” He sat next to her, “Are you going with someone to the Christmas party?” “All alone, sadly. What about you?” “Also alone.” “So you're asking me to go with you?” “You're quick,” he mumbled, “Kind of. Just as friends, don't worry.” She shrugged her shoulders, “Sounds good, but, let me ask something,” She got closer to him, which made Sirius flinch back a little, “Is it because you can't go with the person you really want to?” “That person does not exist.” “Well, I must be seeing things, or” She laughed, grabbing the book that she had carefully left on the coffee table, “You're denying how you look at Remus.” “I don't-” She hit Sirius on the head with the book, making a loud thump sound, “Stop denying. It's okay. Just wanted to make sure you're comfortable with me knowing. Still, I think you should take a little bit more of a risk, Black. How are you supposed to know if things are going to work out if you don't try?” Sirius was left speechless, his face quickly becoming redder than the whole Gryffindor common room. Marlene was just staring at him, waiting for an answer. She knew. How did she know? Was he that obvious? What if someone else knew? Maybe Remus knew? he certainly had to, considering he had told Sirius how he was quite popular between both girls and boys, and in general, with all the young and flirty students. He knew, but he didn't know the most important part- that Sirius fancied him and no one else. “Still waiting for a confirmation, Black.” “Fine,” He unfroze, looking at the ground, “You're right.” “Thank you.” “But, how?... how did you figure it out?” “It was kind of obvious, but I don't think Remus knows, so don't worry about it too much, even less now that he's going with Dorcas,” She relaxed against the sofa, her legs quickly using Sirius's lap as a place to rest, “You're fine. I guess I pay too much attention to certain things.” “You don't mind?” “You’re kidding? You're still my friend.” He smirked and looked up, he didn't want to cry for the second time that day, “Thank you.” “No need for that. Now, we need to choose colours for outfits because we are matching, okay? I think red suits you well.” “We will definitely be the best-dressed at this party.” Days passed and between excited students and hundreds of Christmas decorations, the date of the party finally came. Luckily, it seemed like the sky had listened to the wishes of the students, painting the Hogwarts grounds with opaque and white snow. The teachers, in an attempt to keep everyone warm and comfortable, started casting multiple spells to keep things inside the castle at a pleasant temperature. Sirius was nervous, he had gotten a few compliments about his looks as he strolled down the numerous stairs of the castle, searching for Marlene, his so-called date to the party (that wasn’t truly his date, since they were going as friends). She had disappeared after complaining that her hair was too messy for anyone to see and that she had to find Dorcas to help her fix it a little. Of course, Sirius understood. Yet, he found it strange that thirty minutes after disappearing she had not come back yet. Did it seriously take her that much time to fix her hair? He also had long hair and he didn’t take that much time. Even while searching for her, his thoughts still wandered over Remus and what could he be possibly doing before the party started. His question was answered rather quickly, as just at the front of the entry to the Great Hall he found the three figures he was looking for. Dorcas, Marlene and Remus were laughing loudly, Marlene gesturing exaggeratedly with her hands as she spoke and Dorcas just looked at her, a smile tugging her lips. Remus was interested in the conversation, but not interested enough as not to notice Sirius approaching them. “Hey,” Remus mumbled, one of his hands finding rest in Sirius’s shoulders. Sirius thought about backing up a little, but he discarded that option as soon as he saw Marlene’s mocking expression. Now that she knew how the older Black felt about the Werewolf, she was totally on board with annoying Sirius about his “little” crush. So he stayed there, trying to control the heat that was reaching his face, “Hey.” “Is everything alright with the party? everyone is expecting it to be a huge success,” Remus looked around, Sirius noticed his eyebrows scrunching a little. “Yes, everything’s alright,” Sirius analyzed the big closed door that stood in front of them, “James is inside the Great Hall, doing some last minute arrangements. But we got everything ready just in time, the doors will open in a few minutes.” “You did a good job of planning and making all the houses collaborate,” Dorcas was now focused on doing a waterfall braid on Marlene’s hair, “I have heard from a lot of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws that you had gone to their houses to give them instructions and just help them in general.” Remus looked at Sirius, his amused smirk accompanied by a raised eyebrow, “Didn’t know you did that.” Sirius rolled his eyes, but he still smiled, “I had time. I also did it with the Slytherins, but to say they didn’t want my help is saying little.” “At least you talked with your brother, right?” Remus asked, “He looks happier these last days.” “Yeah. We’ve talked, it's better.” “I’m glad.” Marlene was going to comment on something when the big doors finally opened, revealing how beautiful the whole place had been decorated. Dainty and elegant, tiny snowflakes were falling off the ceiling, and when they finally reached the floor, they disintegrated in a speck of shiny dust that flew into the air. It was a brilliant idea that came from a Ravenclaw student, and everyone loved it. Near the decorated walls, long tables with food were positioned, leaving the middle area with enough space for everyone to go and dance. Sirius hadn't noticed, but when a loud bell rang, announcing the start of the party, a crowd of students shouted with excitement behind him. When did they arrive? He had no idea, and he didn't have time to ask when Marlene was already dragging him to get some food. “We are not going to dance?” He asked, lowering his tone when he noticed Remus and Dorcas following their steps. “Maybe later?” Marlene answered, sounding confused about her own response. “I thought we were going to dance together,” Dorcas arrived while holding Remus's arm, making Sirius's heart ache a little. Yet, he couldn't help but look at them curiously. “Oh, yeah,” Marlene nodded, hitting Sirius playfully on the shoulder, a smirk adorning his face, “Sorry mate, got to dance with my girlfriend first.” “Wait. What?” Both Sirius and Remus blurted out at the same time, their eyes incredulously looking at each other and at the two girls. They both started laughing, it seemed like they had planned this. “Dorcas is my girlfriend, don't you see?” Marlene reached for Dorcas's hand, pulling her towards where she stood, “We both decided that it would be better if we came accompanied by boys. But after seeing same-gender couples holding hands and no one paying attention to them in the hall, we just… gave up, trying to be subtle. It doesn't fit us, as you can see.” “I'm sorry for telling you like this,” Dorcas was the only one that seemed a little bit apologetic, Marlene was too busy scanning the table full of food, “I told Marlene we should have told you beforehand, but we kind of forgot about it, I hope it's not too much trouble.” “It's not,” Remus was the first one to talk again, his expression a little bit less confused than Sirius, but still pretty shocked, “How long… How long have you two been together?” “Two months?” Dorcas asked, which Marlene nodded nonchalantly. “Two months?!” Sirius finally got out of his state of surprise, sounding in full disbelief, “That's a lot. Why didn't you tell me? Us, perhaps?” “Dorcas was a little bit scared, and it was fine for me as long as we didn't have to hide in a broom closet every time a professor passed by.” Remus nodded, and Sirius couldn't believe he was just accepting it so easy. Of course, it was alright, they were their friends, but hiding it for so much time? Was that okay? for years Sirius was desperate to find someone that could understand the way he felt about guys, especially when he had heard so many times that that was the way he was supposed to feel about girls. And only now, after learning how to deal with his feelings without anyone's help, he learns Marlene and Dorcas also had those feelings. But could he really be mad at them noticing how perfected they seemed to be together? seeing how their smiles shone differently when they were directed to each other? “I guess it kind off… caught us out by surprise. But I'm happy for you.” Dorcas smiled in gratitude to Sirius's, and so did Marlene. Soon, they were walking hand by hand to the dance floor, laughing silently and giving each other heart eyes, everyone that could see them could tell they were just happy to be together at that moment, that they were in love with each other. And of course, Sirius was left alone with Remus. He didn't mind that much considering they were surrounded by students and professors (it would have been a lot worse if it was only the two of them) but he still wanted to run away, the typical tingling that came with being with the person you liked appearing and taking over his body. Yet, he tried to remain calm, leaning into one of the free walls to make sure he wasn’t going to lose balance thanks to how nervous he was, “Did you...expected it?” Remus shrugged, “Kind of? I don't know. Now that I think of it and I see it, sometimes they were pretty obvious.” Sirius nodded in agreement, noticing that Remus's was playing with the end of his tie, his eyes scanning the rest of the place. He could tell he was also nervous, but why? because he didn't have a date anymore? Did he like Dorcas? was he feeling nervous after being ditched by his date? “Remus, can I ask you something?” “Sure?... go on.” There was no coming back, so Sirius raised his voice, even with all the strength he tried to gather, it still sounded a little bit doubtful and maybe even hopeful, “Do you like Dorcas?” Remus stopped playing with the end of his tie and stood there, blinking confusedly. His head tilting to the side, not understanding the question that came out of nowhere. “Okay, sorry. Let me repeat-” “Sirius, didn’t you know I like you?” … Sirius felt his whole world explode in less than five seconds, his face going so red that he was sure he looked like he was suffocating into a cloud of surprise and embarrassment. Remus had to be joking since there was no way he was telling the truth this easy, yet his face remained intact, just that he had a nervous expression making his right eye twitch a little, Sirius noticed his eye also did that when he told something important to the marauders, all the evidence was pointing out that it was true, but, how? “...Is this a joke?” “Why would I joke with that?” “I don’t know.” “I can’t believe you’re truly that oblivious.” And then it all clicked, all the pieces of the puzzle fell right into place. How Remus behaved around Sirius, the way he blushed when Sirius said certain things, the way he already knew that Sirius liked guys- he knew everything, yet, none of it came from his lips until the last moment. And he was confessing, right at the start of the Christmas party. Without looking he was about to faint. It didn’t feel like a confession, but it was. “I… I guess I am.” And for what it seemed the first time in weeks, Sirius felt something so heavy he never knew he carried getting off his shoulders and finally letting him breathe, it was like all the judging and words he was expecting were a different and opposite reality he would never experience. This was his reality, one where Remus actually liked him back, and he was telling him. “I know you are a little bit in shock. But maybe… could you answer? Please. I did not just confess to not get an answer. At least you could turn me down or something. ” “I like you too,” He almost knocked something off the table, nervously moving around, “I have liked you for a long time, Remus, do you know how this freaking feels?” Remus' reaction was slower than Sirius’s. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth opened a little, trying to find something to say. Sirius was astonished, did he confess not knowing how Sirius’s would react? he didn’t know his feelings were reciprocated? He just went for it without any second thought, not expecting a positive response. “Hey, you two.” Regulus slipped into the conversation, his hand holding what Sirius assumed (or expected) to be some type of fruit juice. He was wearing a suit that made him look a little bit older than he was, and Sirius felt overwhelmed by a second. And then it evaporated, replaced by the uneasy feeling of not knowing if his brother had heard anything about the conversation. “Reg?” “I can see from far away that you two are having the messiest love confession of all times. And it’s making me embarrassed.” “What..?” Remus snapped out of his shock, finally looking at Sirius and Regulus, his eyes alternating between the two with a look of disbelief. “Remus, right? do you like my brother?” “Uhm.. yes.” “Sirius, do you like Remus?” “I do.” “Great. Problem solved. Now go dancing before the party ends because you took another whole hour talking about your feelings,” Regulus sounded exasperated, but as he was turning around to leave Sirius saw the little smile adorning his lips, “See you later, lovebirds.” “Did he just…?” “I think your brother’s right. Sorry for… you know, the late reaction. I didn’t expect to be right.” “So you knew?” “I suspected it, but I never thought it was actually true. Knowing me, the way I look…” “Hot?” “Sirius!” “What?” They both laughed loudly, their chests vibrating with the joy of knowing they had something to care for now, a new emotion flourishing between the two. Sirius felt like he could start sprinting at any given moments, go around the entire school a thousand times and his heart would still flutter with the thought someone liked him that way. From Remus's perspective, it just felt right. Looking at Sirius, now with hundreds of new adventures to live with him- it felt like that was supposed to happen. “So what do you say about… dancing?” “I would love to,” Sirius answered, “But you're going to have to keep up with those moves,” His voice sounded light and cheerful, and he was even trying to imitate the luxurious his family had taught him to talk with. “I think I can deal with it.” Breathing deeply, they intertwined their hands and started walking. Some people stared, but no one said anything, and Sirius's was sure he saw Professor McGonagall smiling softly at them from the corner of her eye. He also heard James cheering loudly and enthusiastic, something among the lines of, “My best friends finally found love! in each other!” while Peter was trying to shush him up while smiling nervously at his friends. “I have to confess I tend to be a rather clumsy dancer.” “Nonsense, you're dancing with Sirius Black. From now on, we are the centre of attention of this party.” Sirius hummed happily when a slow song he knew started to play, his hands reached Remus's chest instinctively with a confident smile, even when the taller boy could see how much he was blushing, “Even the great dancer Sirius Black is nervous to dance with me?” “Shut up.” “Make me.” Sirius's were wide open, yet his expression transformed into a smirk, “Maybe after the first date.” “I don't remember you asking me out on a date.” “Should I? I thought you were already enchanted by me.” Remus laughed, his hands wrapped around Sirius's waist, “Shouldn't have confessed first. Your ego is above the roof.” “But you like it.” “Sadly, I do.” And as they started swaying slowly to the rhythm of the song, that was what Christmas was really about. Love and being loved. All between snowflakes and Christmas music.

[salemsbones]

Lonely Stars Chapter 3

Trigger Warnings: child abuse, homophobia, homophobic slurs, conversion therapy, internalized homophobia

Age 13      The red and black velvet dress I wore was uncomfortable. I missed wearing Sirius' old t-shirts he bought from the Muggle world and soft jeans around the Ravenclaw common room when I wasn't required to wear the black robes. But even the uniformed robes were much more comfortable than this ensemble Mother had insisted I wear to dinner tonight.      I sat at the large dinner table in the dining room. The table was made from such rich and polished mahogany wood that I could practically see my reflection on the surface, and across the table I could see where my brother Sirius had carved his initials onto the beautiful wood much to my Mother's demise. Sirius had not attended this family dinner as he had chosen to spend the beginning of the winter holidays with the Potters instead of us, it stung a small amount that he chose to spend more time with friends rather than his own blood. Beside me sat Regulus as always, his hair had grown to a slightly ragged mullet that he was attempting to grow longer similar to Sirius, we had used almost a full package of bobby pins in order to hide the messiness from our parents. Regulus also shifted uncomfortably, while I know he often wore dress pants and shirts while not in uniform at Hogwarts, he chose to more comfortable materials rather than the stiff bleached cotton he was currently wearing.      To an outsider, this family dinner may have just looked quiet, but in reality you could cut the tension between my family members with a knife. Barely fifty words had been spoken between my parents and I since I had returned home four days ago. While Regulus was given more attention than I, I knew it made him uncomfortable to watch me be ignored or shushed while speaking.      "When is Sirius coming home?" I ask, looking at both my Mother and Father who sit at the head of the table but on opposite sides. My Father sighed and placed his fork and knife down on his plate before looking up at me, he wiped the corners of his mouth with the blood red cloth napkin he had.      "Sirius will be returning tomorrow morning. We will be sending a driver to collect him as usual Aurelia."      "He will be here just in time for the Christmas banquet." My Mother piped up, looking at me.      The majority of the meal was ate in silence, with the quiet squeal of a knife running along the china plates or the tiny clinks of the dishes as they were cleared and another course of food replaced the empty dishes.      "Regulus, your Mother tells me that you may try out for Quidditch in the fall? Is this correct son?" Father inquires, looking at Regulus with interest. Regulus clears his throat after taking a sip of his water and looks at our Father and nods, "Yes, I'm thinking of trying out for Seeker," He smiles as he speaks, a gleam in his pale grey eyes.      "Well you did always have a eye for things Regulus," My Mother smiles, raising her cup of red wine towards him in admiration.      "And very good grades from what we hear from your professors!" Father boasted, a smile now on his face. Regulus was smiling with pride, until he saw my face with a fake smile on it. I try to be happy for my brother, I'm very happy with his accomplishments, but it would be nice to get the same encouragement from my parents that he got.      "You should ask Lia about her semester, I heard it was very interesting," Regulus smiled, trying to focus the conversation on me instead of him.      "Aurelia, how was your semester?" My Mother asks, her voice had less enthusiasm than when she was speaking to Regulus.      "I've been learning about undetectable poisons in Potions. I like my Potions partner, she's very good," I smiled, thinking about my Potions partner and hoping she was enjoying her winter holiday.      "Nice Slytherin girl?" My Mother inquired, hoping I was choosing to interact as closely to Slytherins as possible.      "She's in Hufflepuff actually, she made this joke that I could've poisoned her at any time and she wouldn't even know. She has beautiful brown eyes and her voice is so-"      I was cut off by the clanging of my Father's silverware hitting the china plate and by the look on his face, he was not impressed. He placed his elbows on the table, his hands folding into a fist, his eyebrows were raised and his mouth slanted down into a disapproving frown,      "Are you a dyke?" He snarled, spitting out the words like venom. My stomach dropped and I could feel my heart begin to speed up.      "I- um," I stuttered, taken aback by my Father's choice of words and question. Below the table I could feel Regulus taking my pinky in his and giving it a light squeeze, he was here for me no matter the answer I gave my Father.      "Well?" My Father's voice boomed, the word echoing around the large room. "Is my daughter a dyke?"      I stammered to an answer, I honestly had never thought about my sexuality in depth before, I had heard my brothers talk about girls that they found attractive, or maybe it was mostly Sirius talking and Regulus just nodding along. But I also couldn't remember if Sirius used the words "she" and "her" while speaking of his newest crush. "No Sir. I'm- I'm not a dyke." My voice faltered and I could tell my Father didn't believe me.      "First a blood traitor like her brother and now a fucking dyke." My Father spat, shaking his head in disapproval. I lowered my gaze to the polished table, watching a single tear fall down my cheek in the reflection. Regulus gave my hand a squeeze, causing me to look at him give me a small nod that my parents didn't notice.      "Aurelia, we will discuss this after dinner." My Mother said, her voice clear but stern. "Do you understand me?"      I gave a small nod, keeping my gaze down, "Yes ma'am I understand."                                                               <>      The dishes had been cleared away by the House Elves and now it was my Mother and I alone in the dining room. Father had led Regulus away to discuss try outs in autumn for Quidditch, Regulus quickly looked at me before leaving the room and gave me another quick nod, everything would be okay, it was just a discussion after all.      "Did your Father's comment upset you Aurelia?" My Mother questioned, rising from her seat and coming closer to me. I raised my head and gave a small nod, her heels clicked against the marble floor as she got closer to me. Sirius had once called that sound "The Clicks of Doom", and it wasn't until this day that I truly understood the meaning behind that name.      She took my hand and pulled me up from my seat, her boney fingers tilting my chin up to look her in the eye. Her face was stern, her mouth tilted downward into a slight frown, one of her perfectly manicured eyebrows slightly raised, "Do you have feelings for this Hufflepuff girl?"      "I don't know Mother, I haven't thought about it." I whispered, she hummed at my answer. She circled me, looking at me up and down.      "Aurelia, you are a daughter of the Noble Black family, do you understand what that means?" I chose to stay silent, fearing if I were to say the wrong answer she was looking for. "That means that we have a reputation to uphold. And your little behaviors do not suit the Black family name."      I nod slowly, "Yes Mother. I understand, I'll try better."      She retreated to where she was standing behind me, I could hear the rustle of fabric moving and a quick murmur of the word Imperio and then suddenly I felt calm and very at ease, I wasn't nervous about my family's tainted reputation anymore. "You will not have romantic feelings for women anymore Aurelia."                                                                <>      The red wine I was holding was staring to warm. I stood near the wall of the banquet hall, trying to avoid speaking to anyone unless I absolutely had to, Regulus had said he would try to distract people from me, which was abnormal considering normally he would agree to steer conversations to topics I enjoyed, but tonight I was thankful as I wasn't in the mood to act a certain way.      I glance over to the large clock mounted on the wall, Sirius was supposed to arrive this morning but the sun had set and was no where to be seen. Maybe he had decided to spend more time with the Potters instead, but even if he had decided to do that he could've at least sent an owl or picked up the phone. I sigh and take a sip of the wine I was holding, it was bitter and warm, not for my taste.            Across the banquet hall Regulus was speaking about his plans for after Hogwarts graduation, I don't know if what he said was true or if it was just to please the ears his words were spilling onto. I notice a tall blonde haired girl walk across the floor, her turquoise dress trailing behind her, the fabric hugged her curves beautifully, her long hair cascaded down her shoulders in soft waves that framed her heart shaped face perfectly. I was so entranced by this girl that I hardly noticed when a arm was draped over my own shoulder.

     "Hello little sister," A cheerful voice sung and I looked up to see the face of my brother Sirius standing beside me.      "Sirius," I breathed, so happy that he was finally here. I hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go. Sirius was a buffer between me and the disappointment or shame my parents felt about me. He made me focus on other things than their shame, like new Muggle music he had discovered or his new fascination with motorbikes.      He smirked as he took the wine glass from my hand and took a big swing, but quickly made a face of disgust after swallowing. "Merlin, Mother has shit taste in wine."      "Shit taste in banquets too," I smiled as Sirius chuckled. "Where were you? You were supposed to be here this morning,"      "Ah well, I was ready to come home this morning and waiting patiently all day for the driver that Mother and Father conveniently 'forgot' to send. So the Potters drove me after I let them convince me not to hitchhike all the way home." I hummed at his story, Sirius and his dramatics never failed to make me smile.         We stood silently for a few minutes like this, his arm wrapped around my shoulders and me just being content around his presence.      "So, as I am your eldest and best brother," Sirius smirked. "I must do my brotherly duties and ask about you,"      "Oh Sirius, don't start." I smiled but let him continue.      "How are you doing, how's your grades, James, Remus and Peter send their love." He smiles as he spoke.      "I send all my love back,"      "Speaking of love," He smirked, drawing out the word love to which I rolled my eyes. "Got your eyes on anyone special these days? Any boys? Or any girls- I don't judge."      Suddenly, I was repulsed, taking a step away from Sirius, "That's disgusting. I could never do something so vile or wrong." I snarl at him, my eyes narrowing as I became angry.      But Sirius only tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, "And is that why you were eyeing that lovely lady over there? Because it's disgusting? Because I think you find her attractive."      I bit my lip, "I could never do something so damaging to the Black name." My words taste like poison in my mouth.      His eyebrow was still raised, "You couldn't or is it because someone said you couldn't?"      My breath falters as I ponder his question. The girl was beautiful just like I thought she was, and like how Sirius mentioned, but when I thought that there was something inside of my body that twisted and felt sick. "I think she's beaut-" Suddenly something in my stomach gave me a sharp pain and I couldn't even finish my sentence without feeling as if I were about to vomit. I felt Sirius' warm hand on my back and I quickly look at my Mother who was chatting to old friends, hanging onto my Father like a lifeline.      "Did they do something to you Lia?" Sirius asks quietly with a hushed voice.      "I- I like girrrr- gir-" The pain in my stomach was back, making me dizzy. "But I- I can't do it or I will be a disappointment."      Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, sighing through his nose before wrapping his arm around my shoulder again and pulling me close. "It's okay, don't force it. I understand. I'm right here Lia."

[lucisfavoritedemon]

um okay so I'm soft for the marauders as always and I kinda just want to see Sirius interacting with children thank u also the bingo thing is adorable

Thanks 😁! I really needed to find something new to get me inspired to write again. I'm in Vet Tech school which demands more of my attention especially now that I'm close to graduating, but I'm getting tons of positive feedback. I really hope you enjoy this! I also agree with being soft for the marauders (especially Sirius and Remus). I had fun thinking of different reactions for Sirius for this one so I really hope you enjoy!

(A little shorter than I wanted, but I hope you enjoy none the less)

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You always knew you wanted a future with Sirius. You just weren't sure whether he wanted the same thing when it came to having a family. You knew he wanted to be with you forever just nothing more. That was till you took a trip to visit your very good friends and their brand new baby boy.

You were going to go see James and Lily to meet their new addition. You were so excited to meet baby harry. Sirius wasn't really. Yes he was happy for his long time friend, but he wasn't really fond of children. He could tolerate them, but if he could avoid it he would.

"Oh Sirius they're your friends."

"I know, but if I didn't HAVE to. I wouldn't be going." He retorted. You just rolled your eyes.

"Who knows maybe you'll enjoy their knew little bundle of joy." You kiss his cheek as you go and grab your wand. "Ready?"He nods and take his hand and apparate to the Potter's.

James walks out and greets you both in a suffocating hug. You knew he was happy and excited. You were happy for him too. I mean so was Sirius, but he didn’t understand the big fuss.

“It’s just a tiny human.” He said to James as he escorted you both inside.

“It’s not JUST a tiny human Padfoot. He’s so much more than that. A baby becomes your whole world. Everything just makes all the more sense since he’s been in this world. When you have a kid of your own you’ll understand.” James said sounding more relaxed than you have heard him talk in years.

“I don’t know. Maybe? But I think that’s a while away.”

“Maybe, but you never know. Y/n, Lily is upstairs with Harry if you want to join her. Sirius and I have a few things to discuss.” James told you. You just nodded and went upstairs.

Little Harry was so adorable. Only a few months old and he had the strongest grip. He even got a hold of your hair a few times and didn’t want to let go. Then, came time for Sirius to meet him. you were nervous that he would prove everything right and Sirius wouldn’t want a child which would crush you.

You went down to help Lily with dinner as you waited for the boys to come back down. When you finished plating the food you took up Sirius a plate. As you approached the door you could have sworn you heard baby talk.

“Who is the greatest and most precious thing in the world. Yes you are little Harry. Uncle Sirius will protect you from the big scary bad guys. Yes i will. Auntie Y/n will help you learn all you need to know about magic before you go off to Hogwarts. Maybe you’ll become like your dad and carry the Quidditch team to victory, or be like your mother and make all the friends in the world.”

You open the door to make your presence known in the room. He turns to you and smiles.

“Here’s your dinner when you’re ready.” You set the plate down on a little side table and turn to leave.

“When can we have one?” Sirius asked with a straight face.

You giggle, “do you want one?” He nods his head as he holds Harry close. You just smile. “Hopefully soon my love,” you smile more as his face lights up. He hesitantly sets Harry down, and walks over and kisses you. You kiss him back as relief floods your head. You had no idea how you were gonna tell him for fear of him leaving, but you were so happy he is excited.

“How soon?!” He asked quite excited.

“Not for a while, but by the first of the year you should be able to hold your own child.” He smiles more and hugs you tightly.

“I love you so much. I’m so excited to them. I’ll be counting down the days.”

“I was so hoping you’d say that.” You kiss him, then walk over to Harry.

“We can have some practice watching this little guy. I mean James did ask us to be his godparents.” You smile more and lean on him.

“Today has been the best day ever.” Sirius nods in agreement as you both thinking of the little family you two are about to start together.

[siriusmuch]

years | lily evans

pairing: lily evans x reader ; sirius black x reader

warnings: angst. lots and lots of angst.

word count: about 4k, my longest story yet!

summary: requested by anon — prompt #91 (in the background, the music plays, a sad tune, full of wistful piano and haunting violin. there is nobody left to hear it.) from this list. you loved a lot of people, but you loved lily evans like you did no other.

a/n: thank you for the request! i hope you like this, i hate writing things with no happy endings but i couldn’t resist. there’s not going to be a part two for this, sorry! there is a part with sirius x reader in this, although it’s not the main ship. you’ll understand as you read on :) sorry that the ending is a bit rushed :(

masterlist here

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1971.

In your first year of Hogwarts, you remember everything about your first day vividly. Your parents sent you off with a sad farewell, and you promised to write to them often. They shed a few tears, and you almost missed the train by how long your hugs with them were. They peppered your face in kisses, your mother holding onto your father’s chest as you waved goodbye to them the final time. You knew it was extreme, but you were 11, and you were going to Hogwarts.

You’ve been waiting for this day your entire life.

Your parents were the sweetest people you knew. Your birth parents had fallen ill with the Dragon Pox when you were five, and you were constantly around caretakers until they had passed. You didn’t remember them to the extent you would’ve liked. You were put up for adoption, and your parents — who were also wizards — welcomed you into the family without ever looking back.

You were exposed to tragedy early in your life, but that never stopped you.

You ended up sharing a train car with two other girls your age, although the three of you didn’t end up becoming very good friends. Excitement and jitters filled your conversations, although you were all sorted into different houses.

Upon arriving at Hogwarts, you were in awe. You’d heard stories about the beauty of Hogwarts, with their floating candles to the castle-like interior. You’d ever tried reading Hogwarts: A History, although you got bored quickly and opted to play quidditch in your backyard instead.

When your name was finally called, you took a seat and the Sorting Hat was placed upon your head. You beamed, although your leg shook with how nervous you were. Both your birth parents were Gryffindors, although your adoptive parents were Hufflepuffs. You didn’t mind getting sorted in either house.

‘Oh, a (Y/L/N)?’ The Sorting Hat hummed, and you nodded. Although you were adopted, your last name never changed. You appreciated that your parents never did so, because even though you didn’t consider your birth parents mom and dad, at least you had a piece of them with you. ‘Your parents were the greatest Gryffindors I’ve seen, although you have a heart of pure gold. The way your heart swells when you think of your parents show me your Hufflepuff heart. You’d do well in either of those houses.’

You beamed, nerves quickly washing away. You had grown up with Hufflepuff ideals, so you weren’t surprised that you were considered for Hufflepuff. ‘But… I think you’d do better as a Gryffindor. You have great things ahead of you, (Y/N). So…’

Your eyebrows furrowed at what the Sorting Hat meant by “great things”, but before you could ask — think? — the Sorting Hat yelled, “Gryffindor!”

Moving off the seat, you walked towards the Gryffindor table, sitting in the closest empty seat you could find. As more people got sorted, you turned to the girl next to you, a red-head with stunning green eyes, and introduced yourself.

“Hi! I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!” You smiled, not knowing what was in store for you for the next ten years.

-

1972.

By the time second year rolled around, you had befriended the infamous Marauders. You weren’t necessarily as close to them as you were to Lily, but you found them funny. Except when James was asking out Lily — you always found yourself in a sour mood, although you had no clue why. You had came to the conclusion that you were just possessive of her friendship, since you had never been to close to someone else who wasn’t your parents to this extent.

You listened to Lily complain about the Marauders a fair extent. Remus was occasionally included in the complaints as well, although he usually got away with more things than the others did. You hung around Snape as well, although he never seemed too keen to talk to you. He seemed to tolerate you best when you were with Lily as well, although you always joked that being around Lily seemed to bring out your best qualities.

“What does Evans see in Snivellus?” James moaned again, putting his head down onto his textbook before peeking up at you.

“They’ve been friends since before Hogwarts, you know. You can’t separate them that easily, it’d be like if Lily constantly told you that you shouldn’t be friends with Sirius because he’s a Black.” You shrugged.

You and James had this conversation quite a few times. Lily didn’t necessarily approve of your friendship with him, but it didn’t stop you. Especially when you knew that James was a softie behind his egotistic exterior. You tried telling Lily this, although James always seemed to embarrass himself with Lily was around.

“But the point is that Sirius isn’t like his family. Snape fits in with those Slytherins, stupid pureblooded maniacs.”

“Snape isn’t even a pureblood,” you commented, “plus, not all Slytherins are bad. This is why Lily doesn’t want to be friends with you, much less your girlfriend.” You ruffled James’ hair, feeling a bit sick at the thought of Lily being James’ girlfriend.

You didn’t even believe in cooties anymore, and romance was cute. You had no idea why the idea of James and Lily made you feel so… sad. Shaking the thought off, you stood up.

“I should get going, I told Lily that I’ll join her and Snape to study potions. I’ll catch you later, James.” You smiled at him, taking your books and swiftly leaving.

-

1973.

By the time you were in your third year of Hogwarts, the mood shifted. No one was oblivious to this, but some people pretended they weren’t aware. Life became more intense, more stressful — there was a war building outside of the school, and fights broke out more often.

You made sure to accompany Lily everywhere.

You knew that Lily knew what you were doing, and you knew that she was a little annoyed by it. After all, she was independent and a brilliant witch, and more than capable of taking care of herself. But you were scared anyway. Scared for yourself and scared for her and anyone who wasn’t pureblooded.

But you tried carrying on with life as normally as possible, despite the fact that you subscribed to The Daily Prophet and read it every morning as opposed to just hearing news from your parents. You even wrote to them more than normal, and they sent you care packages about once a month. You didn’t need it, but you appreciated stuff from home. It made you feel safer, and you always made sure to share anything you got with Lily. You even tried out for the Quidditch team, having missed out last year. You ended up being their seeker, and you took pride in how happy everyone was in you. Especially how happy Lily was. You knew she was fascinated with Quidditch, despite being terrible at flying.

You grew even closer to James after you got on the Quidditch team, but a part of you always felt sad when you were around him. You still had no clue why, and it only intensified whenever Lily was brought up or associated, and you tried steering clear from the topic as much as possible without seeming suspicious.

There was a part of you that was confused, though. James and Sirius started hanging out at the library, and you didn’t know why. There were no pranks that happened, but they could be seen reading and researching something throughout the year. Peter joined them, although it was normal to see him in the library as well. Sometimes Remus was around, but mostly he was working on his own schoolwork. Whenever he was with the Marauders while they were off researching, he always seemed a bit nervous and exasperated at the same time.

You wondered, but you knew you wouldn’t get an answer.

-

1974.

“Don’t you find it odd that James, Sirius, and Peter always look so tired the day after Remus is out sick or his mother is sick? It’s like when he’s away, they go wild.” You brought up to Lily one day.

Lily shrugged, “They’re always a bit weird, though? They keep so many secrets… I would’ve expected them to be blabbermouths, but they never share any of their secrets. Haven’t you noticed that whenever someone is in trouble they end up at the scene?”

“It is odd… I don’t think I’d ever be able to understand boys,” you joked. Lily rolled her eyes, a fond smile on her face.

The two of you sat in silence at the Great Hall, watching James, Sirius, and Peter’s sluggish movements. A bit later, Remus came to join them, looking just as tired as they did. You exchanged a look with Lily.

Once again, you found yourself hopefully lost in Lily’s eyes. They’re always so vibrant, and you hated when they dulled just the tiniest bit whenever something happened with her sister. You wished you could take all her pain away, to always be there to pick her up no matter what happens. It pained you to be in a state where you couldn’t do anything to help.

“Earth to (Y/N)?” Lily snapped her fingers in front of your face, causing you to blink. “You’re staring again. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” you said, a familiar flush creeping up on your face. You had the littlest of ideas why you kept on staring at her, but you didn’t want to feel this. Not towards Lily, at least. Not towards your best friend, who you could easily lose by admitting these feelings.

Fourth year was the year you started getting suspicious of the Marauders, realized your tiny crush on Lily Evans, and came out to your parents through a letter.

-

1975.

Fifth year was the year you became best friends with Sirius Black.

You had no idea why Sirius had started avoiding the Marauders, nor why they were so aggressive towards him. The entire group was tense, and from what you’ve been told, you knew that Sirius did a terrible prank that was unforgivable. You knew that James was upset that you were hanging out with Sirius, but you had came to the realization that Sirius was rather… lonely, at least without the Marauders around.

There were always rumors circulating at Hogwarts, but as you talked to Sirius, you realized that it wasn’t as true as it seemed.

The two of you were currently out after curfew, hanging out in the astronomy tower. You were smoking a cigarette that he’d passed you, and you just stared up at the ceiling.

“You’re in love with Evans, aren’t you?” Sirius interrupted your silence.

You turned to face him, your eyebrows furrowing. You could feel a sick feeling starting to build in your stomach. No one knew this, even though you had came out to your parents as attracted to both boys and girls.

“Why do you say that?” You hesitantly asked.

“You’re always staring at her. You always perk up when she’s mentioned, not to mention you always get moody every time James talks about liking her. You glare at any people who try and ask her out on dates. Only an idiot wouldn’t know.” Sirius turned to face you.

“Merlin, is it that obvious?” You groaned, “Yeah, I figured out that I liked her last year. But I don’t even know if she likes girls like that. Not many people are accepting, you know? I don’t even know if you are.”

“It’d be ironic if I didn’t accept it. I’m in love with Remus.”

“You are?” You blinked, jaw dropping a bit. You didn’t know if anyone else in Hogwarts was like you, but here Sirius was. “Do you just like guys or…?”

“I don’t know yet. I think both, kissing girls is nice, but with Remus…”

“With him, it’s different.” You finished his sentence.

-

1976.

In sixth year, you hung around Lily a lot more. She was still struggling after what Snape had said to her, and you once again wished that you could take away her pain. She was suffering, and you didn’t know what to do to help her.

You had asked James for a passageway out to Hogsmeade, and you snuck her out despite her poor protests. The two of you drank butterbeer while you let her cry (for the final time, she swore) on your shoulder. Eventually, her tears faded out and all there was was anger. Anger for not realizing just how much Snape had changed, anger for being so dumb, and anger that Snape was becoming just the type of person who wanted her dead.

Sixth year was also the year where James and Lily started becoming friends. It didn’t happen immediately, and they still argued. Their differences continued being highlighted, but as James helped Lily loosen up, Lily was able to reign James in a considerable amount. At this point, you knew that it was inevitable that they were going to date. You felt jealous, but you still suffered in silence. Instead, you started spending more time with Sirius.

It was nice to see everyone in semi-good spirits, though. Especially when the air at Hogwarts started becoming increasingly tense. The Marauders had made up, and although Snape tried to grovel at Lily’s feet and beg for her friendship, things were as good as they could be.

Life went on.

Before the end of sixth year, Sirius pulled you aside.

“I have a question to ask you,” Sirius started. You raised an eyebrow, telling him to go on. “We’re both in love with people who… to put it frankly, won’t love us back. Do you want to go on a date? We deserve better than to pine for people who won’t feel the same.”

You were shocked at the question. You didn’t know what to say, because you’ve always been turning down dates. But you knew that Sirius had a point. “I… Yeah, let’s do it. Next Hogsmeade weekend?” You asked.

And so, you and Sirius started dating. Congratulations started pouring from everyone you knew, and you were sad to see Lily be so utterly happy for the two of you.

-

1977.

Your seventh year at Hogwarts was a weird combination of things. For one thing, you didn’t really expect James to become head boy, but you weren’t surprised that before the new year started that he and Lily started going out.

Your heart still hurt every time you saw the two of them together. They were happy in their own world, light pecks all the time, and you missed Lily a lot more now that she didn’t even sleep in the girls dormitory. You cursed whoever made the heads their own quarters instead of them sleeping with the rest of the year.

You were still dating Sirius too, despite the fact that both of you were still pining over people who wouldn’t love you back. You guys were as happy as you could be, given your position. Whenever the other felt too sad, there would be ice cream and cuddles. You guys kissed, but you knew that there was a low chance that it’d ever get further than that. Both of you knew that this relationship was just a distraction from your true feelings.

At the first quidditch match of the year, right after you had caught the snitch, someone had cursed your broom and you fell right out of the sky. You were in the hospital wing for three days, with a terrible concussion and too many of your bones broken, but you lived. You never found out who cursed your broom, but everyone was on their toes for the next few days. You knew that Sirius and James blamed the Slytherins, and a part of you agreed. After all, there were some Slytherins who made it obvious that they supported Voldemort.

This was also the year where you and Lily were filled in on Remus’ condition. Lily confessed that she already knew that Remus was a werewolf, although never knew why the other boys were always so tired. After reassuring Remus that neither of you were going to stop being friends with him, you begged Sirius to turn into his dog form for cuddles.

Things were as good as they could be.

-

1978.

You broke up with Sirius before the school year ended. The two of you knew it was coming, and it was always a question of who would ask first. The Marauders seemed upset with you at first for “breaking Sirius’ heart”, although Sirius constantly reprimanded them for it. You were still good friends, and you both were more physical with each other than regular friends, but it was nice.

The day you graduated, you cried. A lot of people did, so you weren’t alone, but you knew that this would be the last time you’d be in Hogwarts as a student. You probably would go see Dumbledore a few times in Hogwarts, especially after being recruited for the Order of the Phoenix like your other friends were.

That summer, in the mail, you received invitations to Lily and James’ wedding. You already knew that they were getting married, but this just solidified the fact. Sirius came over that day, and you cried, not that you’d ever admit that to anyone else other than him.

You attended the wedding with Sirius as your +1, although he was invited too. You knew all of your friends were a bit confused about where you and Sirius stood, but you never really gave them an explanation.

Before the end of the year, Remus was sent out to talk to other werewolves to try and recruit them for the war. This time, you went over to Sirius’ place to try and relieve some of the anxiety he felt. You were anxious too — even though you weren’t as close to Remus as you were to Sirius, you knew it was a risk. Everything all your friends did was a risk, and you were constantly worried for them.

-

1979.

Your arm burnt with the Dark Mark.

You were sent to infiltrate the Death Eaters by Dumbledore. The only person who knew of your mission was Sirius, and you feared the day that you’d end up having to fight against your friends as a supposed Death Eater.

You weren’t a hateful person, but every time you insulted muggleborns or said anything even related to pureblood supremacy, you wanted nothing but to hate Dumbledore. You were resilient, and a good witch, and your acting skills were top notch after hiding your feelings for Lily for so long.

Your life was constantly at risk, and you wrote letters to all of your friends explaining everything in case you died. You were building up rank in the group, and eventually, you would be one of Voldemort’s most trusted members. You filled him with lies about who was fighting against him, never actually giving up anyone who was in the Order. You had learnt occlumency so you weren’t as vulnerable.

You barely saw any of your friends that year. You had moved houses when you were assigned to the job. Sirius informed you that he suspected that there was a spy in the Order, and you told him you’d keep an eye out in case there was someone in the Death Eater meetings that you recognized.

“I think… it may be Remus.” He admitted sadly that same day.

“Remus? Our Remus? He’s loyal beyond everything.” You protested. “We already know what mission he’s doing, and I would suspect Remus the least out of almost everyone.”

“But isn’t that the point? He’s been alone his whole life, hating himself for being a werewolf. Suddenly, he’s with other werewolves, and he feels like he belongs. We never see him, and all Dumbledore and Moody say is that they’ve been in touch.” Sirius shoved his face in his hands, sighing. “This war is a bloody mess.”

You shook your head, “I don’t think Remus is the type to submit to his urges so easily. You’ve met the man, Sirius.” You leaned your head against Sirius’ shoulder. “I haven’t seen you in two months, Sirius. Between Remus and I, I’d be more suspicious. I bet some of the other members already are. All they know is that I’m on an important mission and I can’t see anyone. Suspecting each other will just bring our downfall.”

Sirius grew quiet. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). Some people do suspect you, but to be fair, you haven’t been to an official Order meeting in months. I haven’t even seen you for the longest time. Only Moody, Dumbledore, and I know what you’re doing. I wish I could tell them so that they don’t think that way anymore, but I can’t.”

“I hate this so much. Merlin, I need a drink.”

-

1980.

Between pretending to be a Death Eater, working for the Order and gathering intel, and then finding out about the prophecy and how Lily and James were expecting a child, you were running yourself thin. You were utterly exhausted at this point, and all you wanted was a break. Somewhere where this war didn’t exist.

You still hated yourself for loving Lily to this extent. Hated that you still couldn’t let her go, and hated that she probably thought you were leaking information to the Death Eaters.

A part of you wished that you told Lily of your feelings for her while you were still in Hogwarts. Before everything in the world became reality for all of you. You felt stupid for thinking this way, but you ultimately wished things were just different.

War really was draining.

-

October 31st, 1981.

The morning of October 31st, 1981, you were called to a Death Eater meeting. There, Voldemort and a few of his trusted members were waiting for your arrival. There, you saw a man you hadn’t seen in almost a year.

Peter Pettigrew.

Did you two get sent on the same mission by the Order? You masked your expression of confusion, looking at him and the fear evident in his face. You wondered why they would send Peter, of all people. You adored Peter, he was like a little brother to you, although you knew how easily he scared when he was on his own.

“Good morning,” Voldemort started speaking, “For the past year, (Y/L/N) has been telling us insider information about the people fighting against us.” You forced a smile on your face, ignoring Peter’s heavy stare. All the information was fake and staged, although Peter couldn’t possibly know that unless he was informed you were on this mission and you weren’t.

“But, a week ago, Pettigrew was able to tell us the location of the Potters.” Your eyes widened just a tiny bit, “They had tried using a Fidelius charm so that only a trusted person would know where they were, and I’ve been planning on taking down their child in this time. As you all know, the boy who was born in July is the one who is supposedly going to destroy me. I cannot allow that to happen, and Pettigrew supplied me with the information I need while the baby is at its most vulnerable.”

You willed yourself not to react until the meeting was over. The moment you were allowed to go, you left as quickly as possible, avoiding Peter. Casting a patronus charm, you sent out a message to Lily.

“Lily, I was on a mission to infiltrate the Death Eaters and Pet…”

Before you could finish your sentence, you were out.

That night, in Godric’s Hollow, a motorcycle revs as it leaves the vicinity. In the background, the music plays, a sad tune, full of wistful piano and haunting violin. There is nobody left to hear it.

[swellwriting]

Mistakes that Make and Break.

Fandom: Harry Potter, Marauders Era

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Warnings: Mature themes?? Nothing major. Angst and immense fluffy sweetness.

Request: Remus doesn't know he has a 7th-year daughter until he teaches her?

Word Count: 4.4 k

A/N: Timelines and ages don't really make sense but let's bend the rules ok, this is the land of pretend. Also, I'm changing the year to 3 instead of 7 :))) This has been sitting in my WIP’s folder so I guess I should just post it lol.

Remus Lupin is not an easy man to find. After his friends died he sort of went into isolation, he wouldn't see anyone not even you.

You weren't even sure if he remembered what had happened, if he didn't care, or was purposefully avoiding you.

It was the night of Halloween, the same night Lily and James were killed. Maybe he blamed you and that's why he ignored you for that first while and then became totally unreachable for years. 

But that night, seemed a blur, a tragic terrible and happy accident all rolled into one. You were at their Halloween party, you got drunk, told too many truths, lost your ability to stop yourself from staring at Remus the way you were. He was drunk, so were you, both dumb virgins, or so you thought, you weren't too sure anymore if he had lied.

He took you to his house, it was small and poorly but you didn't care in the slightest, he would usually be ashamed but he was too drunk to care and you were taking off your clothes in his bedroom so he was purely focused on that. He was all clumsy hands and toothy grins, messy curls in his face and too drunk to even care about you seeing his scars. He was considerate and sweet and funny and he filled you with so much hope with every sweet compliment he whispered in your ear.

You fell asleep shortly after, both drunk and tired, when you woke up Remus was gone and you had lunch plans with Lily so you had to go home and change, you were so excited to gush to her about Remus. You worried that it was weird that he left you alone in his house, but maybe he had somewhere important to be. 

It wasn't until you apparated home that you heard the news, so many of the people you saw the night before were now dead, Lily, James and Peter, and Sirius was behind it all. You remembered taking shots with him that night, a sour taste fills your mouth and you quickly ran to the bathroom just in time.

It was easy to blame it on the drinking, the loss and sadness you were facing, that's why you felt so sick, for over a week. Then you blamed it on heartbreak when Remus kept ignoring you, avoiding you. You felt so alone, unwanted. When your period never came the following week you sort of saw it coming. It was like life was trying to make this horrible loss of your friends even worse. Making you pregnant by a man who won’t even acknowledge your existence or what happened between you. Your best friend was dead and you couldn't confide in her for help or advice. 

You were alone, 9 months later your daughter was born and then you didn't feel so lonely anymore. You sent an owl out for Remus every month for the first few years, but you had no idea where he really was so they kept coming back. 

You still thought about him all the time, the way he left you, broke you. You still hoped one-day he’d come back, that he wasn't dead somewhere waiting to be found.

Raising your daughter all alone was hard, you had your parents to help you but for most things, you were on your own. It became much harder when you found out your daughter had a specific gene passed down to her, one you didn't even know Remus had and one you had no experience with. When you found out you felt like nothing could get any worse, you didn't want to report your daughter to the ministry, you wanted her to live a free and happy life as best she could. You bought wolfsbane potion each month and even confided in the last person you wanted to talk to. 

You wrote a letter to Sirius Black, you started by saying that you had no desire to talk to him, to know how he is or to hear his excuses but that you needed help. You told him what happened between you and Remus, about your daughter, and ever so secretly about her “unruly attitude” that was exactly like Remus “problem” and asked him how he dealt with that in the past, or if he even knew enough to understand what you were really talking about behind these codewords.

Sirius was quick to write back, somehow he was easier to reach in Azkaban than Remus was, where ever he might be, Sirius told you every trick he learned over the years to helping Remus and they all helped magnificently, the tips and tricks, the chocolate. When she was young she was easy to control but as she got older she became stronger, you loathed sending her away to Hogwarts when the day finally came. After making plans with Dumbledore, thanking him profusely for everything you mind was a little calmer.

Everything was going fine, as smoothly as possible until your daughter's third year. Even though you cried back in the first year when she told you she finally met Harry potter and he was so cool and nice and she definitely didn't have a crush on him. You told her all about him as a baby, his parents and the memories, but made sure to leave Remus out of them until she was older at least.

You had named your daughter Hope, after Remus’ mother, you had no idea what else to name her and you hoped that if he ever found out about her, this would make him want to meet her more, love her more somehow.

-

Hope couldn't help her crush on Harry, so when she saw him walking towards the Defence against the Dark arts classroom she walked up beside him.

“Hey, Harry!” She said excitedly, she wanted to tell him everything you told her this summer about his parents and him. “Hi Hope, how are you?” He asked, though his mind seemed to be somewhere else.

“Good, have a good summer, Harry?” She asked sweetly.

“Not particularly,” he answers and then stops right in front of the dark arts classroom, Lupin is standing inside, watching from his desk as the two students interact at his door.

“Oh, I'm sorry.”

“Not your fault,” he answers quickly, “I have to go talk to Professor Lupin if you don’t mind,” he says and walks into the classroom.

“If you want me to cheer you up, my mum told me more stories about you, when you were a baby and about your parents,” she says and Remus wasn't really listening to their conversation until then, his head perks up.

“Maybe later, I've just-” Harry tries to make up an excuse but Remus is interested in what the young girl has to say.

“No rush Harry, there is time for a story. I’d like to hear it too,” he says and gestures for the girl to come over to his desk.

Something about her face is too familiar, though he knows he's never seen her before, she has a few faint scars on her cheek and forehead, brown messy hair, she’s lanky but still shorter than Harry.

“Hello, Mr. Lupin.” She says timidly, and he smiles at her, “I'm Hope.”

He nods his head as for her to continue and she does right away very excited.

“My mum says she was there when you were born and you were really tiny, so tiny that your dad was scared to hold you. And she says your dad was a really good Quiddich player, but you probably knew that because you're really good too. She says your dad once threw a quaffle and hit her right in the face and it was really funny because he felt really bad.”

The pieces started to fall together for him, clicking in his mind. The more she talked the more it clicked into place.

“Hope, who exactly is your mother,” he asks, as though he doesn't want to believe it.

“Uhm her name is Y/n Y/l/n, why Mr. Lupin?” She asks, completely unknowing.

“She is your mother?” He asks again as though he can't believe it.

“You knew her too, I mean if she knew my parents, and you knew my parents it makes sense?” Harry questions.

“I... I did,” he admits and he looks white as a ghost, both kids stare at him, wondering why he is acting so strange.

He is racking his brain, he hadn't seen you since that night at his place, when he left you there, the way he avoided you and ignored you. He tried to do the math in his head but his brain wasn’t working, who the hell could this girls father have been, he couldn't picture you being with anyone, for as long as he knew you, you only had a crush on him and then he ruined it. Did you move on that quickly? He shouldn't ask, it’s improper to but he can't help himself.

“Hope, dear may I ask who your father is?” Remus asks quietly and Harry is beyond confused at this entire interaction.

Her face goes pale, her bottom lip goes in between her teeth as she bites hard, her eyes travel between Remus and Harry before she quietly mumbles, “I don't know, sir.” and hearing those words makes his heart stops. 

He stares at her for a moment, she has his messy hair, the same damned nose, similar scars decorating her face and he feels like throwing up. His head is spinning and he doesn't know what he is going to do. “Very well,” he manages to say. “Uhm Harry I'm rather sorry but I’ll have to talk to you later I have a lot of papers to grade, so if you don't mind,” he says and points a shaky hand towards the door.

“Okay,” Harry says and Hope follows him out the door like a puppy, they quickly fall into a much more normal conversation.

He isn't sure what to do with himself. He suddenly is filled with regret and self-hatred. He left you the way he did, with no explanation, he wasn't there for you after he lied to you, made you think that he wanted you, which he did but then everything changed. He ignored you, he thought you were just in love with him or something, feelings he couldn't process but in reality, you were simply just trying to tell him that you were pregnant. He left you alone to deal with the grief of such a great loss and then alone to raise your child. He missed out on so much of her life, he wasn't sure she would even want him anymore.

Then he remembered the scars and it hits him. Not only did he have a child he didn't know about but he had also passed down lycanthropy to her, he left you alone to deal with a child that had the rotten luck of getting his stupid gene. You who didn’t even know Remus was a werewolf, who didn’t know what you were signing up for with one stupid mistake of one night. 

His heart felt as though it was snapping into a million pieces, her little happy smile replayed in his mind, the way she looked up at Harry like she admired him so much made his heart hurt too, the way she talked about her mom, talked about you.

-

You hadn't known Remus had been teaching at Hogwarts, your daughter wasn't assigned to his class and you didn't often read a list of the entire faculty of Hogwarts in your spare time. When your daughter started at Hogwarts you moved to the village of Hogsmead, this meant your daughter was never too far if she needed you, and you could easily visit her with the help of Dumbledore.

Tomorrow was the first Hogsmead visit of the year, your daughter would always come by the house with her friends and you had baked cookies expecting their arrival the next day.

-

Remus, after throwing up three times, and drowning in self-pity and regret, made his way to Dumbledores office keeping his head down to hide his sickly face and red eyes.

Dumbledore let him in quickly, with a knowing look on his face.

“You knew didn't you?” Remus said, not angry-sounding just looking for answers.

“Knew what Professor Lupin?”

“You knew I had a daughter, you knew she was here and you didn't tell me.”

“It was not my place to intrude. I knew you had a daughter, yes, but I only knew so much as Y/n told me.”

“What did she tell you? I haven't seen her in years since James and Lily died. I had no idea.”

“She came to me when Hope was starting her first year, she told me she hadn't seen you in years, couldn't get ahold of you no matter how hard she tried. She said she resorted to writing to Sirius for advice, and Sirius had told her to come to me for help just as I helped you when you started at Hogwarts.”

“She went to Sirius for help? How could she?”

“She didn't have another option, everyone she knew was dead and she couldn't find you.”

“I didn't know,” Remus says more to reassure himself.

“It wasn't my place to tell you about a child you had no idea about, I didn't know why you were avoiding her.”

“That's what you were hinting at, back at the beginning of this year wasn’t it.”

“Yes.”

“I thought you just meant Harry when you mentioned an “interesting student”, I didn't know. And she's like me and, I feel so guilty I don't even know how to tell Y/n, how to apologize I'm scared she will hate me.”

“There is a trip to Hogsmeade tomorrow.” Dumbledore states.

“And?” Remus asks confused.

“She moved there when Hope started school, so she could be closer. As far as I know, she never moved on. And she is one of the kindest people I've ever met, more forgiving than most. Be honest with her, I'm sure she will listen but don't tell Hope anything until you have spoken to Y/n, it's her decision if you get to be a bigger part of Hope’s life.”

“Okay, you’re right,” Remus says as he nods his head thinking deeply, “thank you.”

“Oh and Remus, “ Dumbledore starts and Remus stops walking and turns back, “I’d keep an eye on Potter.”

“You think I'm going to just forget about him because of all of this?” Remus asks, offended.

“Not at all, I was merely telling you to keep an eye out for Harry and Hope, she seems to have as some would say, a schoolgirl crush.”

“Oh, Merlin,” Remus curses as he walks out the door, head in his hands.

Remus goes to his room, he showers, nerves filling every inch of his skin until he resorts to sitting on the bottom of the tub and letting the hot water turned cold fall on his head, it isn't long until the water is mixed with salty tears. He is overcome with fear and shame and he brings his knees to his chest, hiding his face as he cries and cries, ribs shaking as he squeezes his arms leaving crescent moon marks in his fingers wake.

He tries to sleep but he can't, he feels so bad about Hope, about abandoning her for all these years, about abandoning you and he is so scared to face you.

-

When the time to leave for Hogsmeade comes around he tries to avoid everyone, not wanting to be asked why he suddenly has an interest in travelling to the small village. 

The ride seems longer than usual and Remus pulls his thick sweater over his hands to keep them warm. He goes to the house Dumbledore directed him to and stands for a good five minutes at the front door before knocking, he wants to make sure he gets there before Hope does.

You have the cookies ready and you’re surprised to hear the door so early but excited to see your daughter none the less. When you open the door the last person you expect to see is standing there looking like a scared child.

“Y/n,” he says like the word is foreign in his mouth.

You take a step forward and then slap him across his face, not as hard as you could but hard enough to sting his skin. It’s easier to be mad at him, it’s the only emotion you can process right now. You don't want to feel the hurt, the sadness, the love you have deep down for him, the pain of being left behind and forgotten.

“How dare you,” you say, voice weak and lip quivering.

“Y/n please let me explain myself, I never meant to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? You have done more than hurt me.”

“I didn't know!” He whines, keeping his distance from you.

“You didn't know? Yes, you are right, you didn't know that you got me pregnant, you didn’t know you had a daughter, you’re right Remus. But you did know that I had a crush on you, that I had never been with anybody else, you knew I would have been alone after our friends died, you knowingly let me grieve for them all alone, you knew I was alive somewhere and you never once tried to find me, even just to be a friend. You may be innocent in some ways but in others, you’re not, and how can I forgive you for that without losing all of my self-worth.”

He sighs deeply, feeling defeated. ‘I know, I know I fucked up and I don't know if I can fix it or what to do but I found out you were here and even if you just stand there and tell me you hate me, I had to come to see you.”

The sadness in his voice breaks your heart a little, and you don't want to feel bad for him, but you also don't want your neighbours seeing you yelling at some man outside so you turn abruptly walking inside and leaving the door open. He hesitantly comes inside.

There are pictures of Hope on the walls, her artwork. There are pictures of James and Lily, ones with Peter and even Sirius is in the back of one but none of Remus.

“You never told her.”

“I was hoping you would come back and tell her yourself.”

“I’d like to. If you will let me.”

“Of course I will, just because I lost you, just because you don't want me doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve you in her life.”

“Don’t say it like that. Like I left because I didn’t want you.”

“What else am I supposed to think?” You yell loudly, scaring yourself as you sit down, gesturing to the opposite couch for him to sit on.

“I planned to stay that morning, I told myself that if you hadn’t left when I woke up that we would eat breakfast and I would tell you how I felt and even tell you about the worst parts of me, but I didn’t get the chance, I woke up and instantly found out the news, I ran out the door, I panicked I had to get out of there, do something. I hadn’t even thought about you at that moment and I'm sorry.”

You had no words to say to him other than words of forgiveness so easily threatening to spill from your sorry pathetic lips, it was so easy to forgive him and you didn't want to just yet so you stayed silent, letting him continue talking.

“After James and Lily died I didn't know what to do, I went into a dark place and hid away from everybody, you were never supposed to be a casualty, Hope was never supposed to be one either I just didn't know, I never in my wildest dreams could have thought of that happening. I had never been with anybody else I didn't know what I was doing.”

“I thought you lied about that part.” You admit and he frowns deeper.

“Why would I lie about that?” He asks, clearly offended.

“I don't know, to get me to sleep with you.”

“Oh because that's such an appealing trait, Y/n please fuck me I'm a dumb clueless virgin. Works on all the girls really.”

“Stop it!” You yell as you hide your face, “Don't make me laugh I'm mad at you.”

“I'm just being honest here,” he says as he stares at your face the trace of a smile gone after a second. “Y/n you are the only girl I have ever even thought about being with, the only girl I've ever had feelings for and I felt so worthless without my friends, I was sure there was no way you actually wanted me so I ran.”

“Oh, so when I slept with you that made it very clear that I didn't want you, when I was so obviously crushing on you for years that was a key indicator that I wanted nothing to do with you! All you do is make me feel like an absolute fool Remus! You left me for years, no letters, no calls and I still want you.” You admit and instantly regret it.

“You don't hate me?” He asks standing up and quickly trying to move closer to you.

“I hate that I don't hate you, I hate what you did but I have so much faith in you, that you can fix this.”

“Please, please let me try I’ll do everything I can do. Just give me the chance to fix this, to fix this relationship we never got a chance to try and also to fix things with Hope, I just need one chance I won’t mess it up,” he pleads with you as tears fill his eyes and it breaks your heart to see him begging you, you never imagined him coming back would be like this. And you're weak for him, oh so weak and you just want to hold him again, so you wrap your arms around him and pull him close hugging him tightly.

“Okay,” you whisper and by the time you release him from the hug you hear the door open. Four kids barge into the house and freeze when they see who is there.

“Mum? What is Mr. Lupin doing here?”

“It’s Professor Lupin, Hope. Not Mr.” Hermione corrects her and Ron and Harry just stand there confused.

“Uhm Hope, I need to talk to you, can your friends go back to the village and I'll walk you back over thereafter?” You ask her but she looks confused and she’s stubborn so she won’t let it go that easily.

“No, tell me what Mr. Lupin’s doing here!”

“Professor,” Hermione whispers and Hope glares at her, now not being the time to be corrected.

“I'm not really sure how to say this but-” You pause and Hermione's brain is working so fast that she realizes it before anyone else and interrupts you.

“Professor Lupin is your dad, isn’t he?”

“What no?” Hope argues, “I don't know who my dad is.”

“I never told you because I hoped one day he could tell you himself, I was honest when I said I hadn't seen him in years, that I couldn’t find him, I never imagined he would become a professor at Hogwarts. I never meant for it to be like this.” You try to explain, lost for words at the entire bizarre situation.

“I don’t believe this. You are missing for years, my whole life and then just like that you come back? That’s not fair.” She says crossing her arms. Her friends stand behind her, ready to do whatever she asks of them, whether it be staying and having her back or leaving her alone.

“Hope you can’t begin to understand how sorry I am, how much I will regret my past for the rest of my life, if I had known you existed I would have been here. I wasn't trying to hide from you or run away, I didn’t know.”

“One simple excuse doesn't make up for years of absence!” She yells and Hermione holds her arm, a soft comfort.

“I'm aware of that, but if you’ll let me I’d like to make it up to you,” he offers.

“What about my mum, you left her alone, regardless of whether I existed or not, how can I forgive you for doing that to her.”

“Hope, that's something me and your father will have to work out, you don't need to worry about that, I promise you if I didn't want him in your life and if I didn't trust him he wouldn't be here.”

“So just because you trust him, I'm supposed to too?”

“No honey, of course not, it will take a lot of time to become a normal family, It takes time to build love and trust I know that. Why don't you guys come in, eat some cookies and tell me about how your classes are going.” You offer the kids and as much as Ron wants homemade cookies, he waits with the others for you to decide.

“Okay,” Hope says finally agreeing to work on this. She walks over and grabs two cookies, shoving them in her mouth and taking a seat right beside Remus. Its something he doesn't expect and he freezes a little, you can tell he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know how to be a father. You grab his hand to reassure him.

“I guess I’ll be in your class next semester.” She mumbles as crumbs of cookie tumble from her mouth.

“I’ll be sure not to play favourites then.” he teases as he too takes a cookie before Ron and Harry eat all of them.

“No!” She yells playfully, “you better play favourites that's the whole point!”

“Noted,” Remus says with a smile and your heart feels so full, seeing them interact, having him back in your life no matter what type of relationship it ends up being you’re just grateful he's here and he is okay.

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