#and another one is eating good food
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top 5 oddly specific feelings in the whole wide world 💌💐🧸
HANA <3 this is a such a you coded question, i absolutely adore it! this time, it's in no particular order <3 i thought about it all morning and this is what i came up with!
- when you're feeling a little down all day and you sit outside to look at the sunset. it just- fills you with this pure admiration for the world and hope for the future. i don't know if it's because of the bad mood but the sunsets are always the prettiest at those times as if the world knows about it all. it's like it tells you here, have a pretty sky. hang in there, it will be okay. honestly, i talked about sunsets but it could be anything that's beautiful in this world. a butterfly, the moon, flowers, animals, books... anything.
- when you wait to meet up with a friend you haven't seen in a long time/at all. as someone who pretty much has only internet friends, i know this feeling so well. rather than the actual moment of meeting them, i love the excitement that buzzes in my heart at the thought of seeing them, of hearing all of their voices through the day, of touching them again. the internet is cool but seeing your friends be life in front of your own eyes- it's so beautiful. (tmi: one of my least favorite feeling is the opposite of this: when your friend goes back home. tmi 2.0: my bff went home last night and i miss her sm already.)
- when you look at someone you love do whatever,, they could be watching tv, doing laundry, cooking, tying their shoes or- showing their vulnerability to you (that one always gets me) and you feel your heart swell with recognition, love, admiration, gratefulness- it's like in that moment, you realise, you feel what this person has given to you throughout the last weeks, months, years you have known them and what you owe them. it's like- you knew you loved them all along but now you realised it. (i just really love loving people)
- when you're spending time with your family, friends, acquaintances- whoever, really, and there's a cat or a dog and it chooses you. i get choose a lot by animals, and it gets my heart filled with so much happiness every time! it really never gets old <3 like my uncle's dog absolutely love me, my brother's and sister-in-law's dogs ADORE me, my sister's cats always comes hang out on my lap,, i just attract animals, they always come to me at every gatherings and it always makes me the happiest <3 (maybe they feel how anxious i get around people hence why they come find me)
- this one i think you'll relate to, hana! when you read a new book, watch a new movie/tv show and it's just everything you needed. the feeling of getting to know new people, a new story, a new universe and feeling like, despite our world being so beautiful, that this should be your world. just the feeling of finding your home, your people, within a fictional story. i just adore this feeling of being able to relate, to lean on a story, on people that are not real. in the end, books/movies/shows are not living things and that means it can always be with you. forever, if you decide so.
#this was SO hard wth#there's just so many feelings that i love#and so many situations that makes a feeling feel different#but those are the ones that came up to me when i thought about it#i also have two other ones: when you go to place you always wanted to visit and you realise that it is real#just like you are and that it's living in the same world as you#that's an amazing feeling#and another one is eating good food#im a big food lover ok#but yeah!!!#i love the world#tag games#moots 💌#hana <3
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eulogy
#i was fully going to just wrangle my way through life for another 39 years when my friend said to me:#you are gay and we want you to submit art for the pride art show. but i hasn’t drawn at all since last year so i made a new comic from scr#i was also having one of the worst times of my life all of the past week but every night after sobbing into a friends shoulder or wtv#i’d sit down and draw. and then today i locked myself in the basement for 5#hours and now he is finished. trans allegory or whatever#happy pride#world is horrible so hold the people you love close#i am trying . succeeding? not really but definitely trying#i have gone now through the 5 stages of grief. 1) eat food 2) eat food 3) hit rock 4) hit rock 5) give up#i Give Up. i give up by living my life without giving a fuck#which is like. actually giving down. or taking away down#idk anyway#i hope you’re well i’m HANGING ON BY A THREAD. BUT A GOOD THREAD#and to my lgbsbfk homies: i love you#my art
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Also, I turned the little food stall at the market I never posted proper pictures of into a functioning BV food stall with invisible recolors/defaults. I think it's cute.
#eulalia: veridia#eulalia: exteriors#I used the mountain food one#fish and pot pies are good enough#and I don't know about THIS specific period but humans everywhere have been eating pancakes in some form or another for thousands of years#'eulalia why are you talking about historical accuracy for food but you have a chimney going to nowhere?' because.
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heard it's open season on yachts down here
#haven#taran#oc#dragon#painting#traditional media#underwater#idk im just throwing tags at the wall at this point#i love painting water#boats#sharks#haven acts like sharks are dogs. he feeds them his table scraps and finds it very annoying when they try to eat off his meals#but he finds it endearing#taran thinks it's annoying that sharks will hang around him. he prefers mammals#but he also swallows his food whole a good half the time so it's not really equivalent. haven tosses his bones aside#should i tag the species of snake taran is meant to look like... i think that would be a little crass but i see it a lot w people's fursona#b/c i subscribe to the black-backed jackal tag#ok fine why not#sunbeam snake#tiktok tts voice: surgically modifying my non-amphibious pet boyfriend so he can hang out underwater and kill boaters with me !#anyway this was another palette test bc i forgot to put any green on jazz the other day#EDIT. NO ONE MENTIONED THE TYPO 😭😭😭😭
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every day im reminded that though my parents may have wanted a dog they clearly did not want to take care of a dog
#and i KNEW this which was why i insisted on not getting dogs though they keep trying to gaslight me#into thinking that i agreed on the dogs. i didnt and i wish id railed against it harder#because ill be honest i knew i didnt want to take care of a dog i wasnt in the headspace#but i also knew that if they got the dog that the actual caring duties would be foisted off to me#and the things that They would have to do ie go to the vet nd pay the bills etc theyd complain about and avoid#and thats one thjng. but oh my fucking god. my dad specifically#its like hes trying to get these dogs to die. we have several plants in the backyard#bad for dogs. i point them out. i have pointed them out Several times.#theyre his plants the gardens his thats none of my things. he just goes oh they wont get into them#THEYRE DOGS. but he doesnt want to move his fucking plants#one of the dogs is on medicine but has a habit of not eating his food in the morning#which means if u leave his medicine in hjs bowl the other dog might eat it#one solution is to give him the tablet straight. because hes good about eating it#he doesnt want to because 'thats gross'. Are you five fucking years old#the dog doesnt like the texture of dry food so another solution is to wet it#dad wont do that either because 'hes too spoiled' and 'it takes time' ONE MINUTE?????????#like i have to assume this is some kind of ploy to make me do it instead when i dont wake up that early#because if its not then hes truly just incompetent or doesnt care about the dogs#which brings me back to WHY DID YOU GET THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.#im sick of having to worry about them when he just does shit like this its wasting my time and its wasting money#but ohhhh we dont want to give the dogs away theyre part of the family 🥺#CLEARLY. because apparently u wanted kids but didnt want to take care of them either!!#im pissed off!!! im tired!!!!!!!!#i need to know im not going batshit here for being pissed off!!!!!#the dogs are getting back to back problems and at least some of it would have been mitigated by oh.#i dont know. the bare minimum?????#at least if the plants had been taken care of i wouldnt have to wonder if theyd just gotten into them#or if its an actual problem like a mass or bite. but no now i dont know#and at this rate were going to waste money going to the vet every fucking week
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sometimes i get nishiki i really do
#snap chats#like from an outsider perspective it is utterly hilarious watching everything go wrong for him#BUT GIRL NOT ME STOP HAVING THIGNS GO WRONG FOR MEEEEEE WHAT IS ALL THIS#this month its actually one thing after another if i start wearing white everyone needs to be concerned#you guys remember my bullshit roommates yeah well TLDR im getting fined for their messes im going to SCREAM#I HATE IT HEERRRREEE I KNOW IM EVIL BUT CMON#literally had such a silly night last night and now everything sucks again is this life is this what life is#its not its not what life is im just hearing my mom bitching in the other room and im letting her vibes ruin mine#everything going to be ok this is just a hiccup .... a small pinprick in the tapestry of life ....#i am incredibly annoyed though cause this is one of those situations where youve done nothing wrong but youre being shot for it#its just unfair but whatever we ball ..... im putting the hair gel away guys im not slicking my hair back just yet ....#i got a new friend last night so maybe ill just hang with them later and ill remember life is beautiful ..#heh ... jk ... i can remind myself life is beautiful right now ... im gonna go eat some tiramisu ...#jesus christ i really do love italian food what the fuck. pasta / calamari / tiramisu#i dont think calamari is italian but i got it from an italian place w/e we get the picture#its not my fault that italy has good food ... i would just never go there .....#ok bye ima go eat and drink water now. water will remind me how beautiful life is ...
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🗡 dozing off writing replies but im curious how others go about writing out stuff/the order you write particular parts, and if you have a different way of writing depending on if it's a reply, ask, or a drabble 🤔 in most cases I find I write out any spoken words first, then the tones or actions done while talking, and then depending on the writing purpose add trains of thought, other actions or specific actions that convey emotions. stuff I looove getting lost in writing include describing scenes, settings, environments, food or the time of day! for drabbles I usually start with these descriptive elements to get into the mood of it.
#‡ ooc#something I find I don't do that often is adding in descriptions of clothing...#but I guess it depends on the setting and in most verses there's only so many outfits worn?#but i might try to add in more descriptions! because that's sooo totally something my writing is missing#unrelated when i was writing a thread w maria and billye where marcus swain & jhin eat dinner together I got lost in the sauce describing#the food being served <:3c#anyways. i love writing as a hobby. idk if im actually GOOD at it but it is very fun for me most of the time#i think storytelling is such a wonderful thing we can do with our own minds#unrelated to all of this for real this time i have cleared out talons inbox! dust free and sqeaky clean now#i want to get all my owed replies here written out and then ill post them all i think thatll be less stressful for me instead of posting#one by one. giving it a try#edit: ive gone back and edited SINGLE TYPOS IVE CAUGHT SeverAL times in tHIS ONE POST#thats another thing i forgot is an important step in my writing; all my fkn TYPOS........
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soooo important to shred up a chicken thigh and toss it in yogurt dressing (greek yogurt olive oil salt black pepper lemon juice garlic paprika cumin thyme oregano sesame seeds) and warm up a naan (or pita i only had naan) and pile a bunch of lettuce on there and then the chicken and then red onion and cucumber and fresh parsley and dill. and then eat it
#ANOTHER GREAT DAY TO BE A BEAUTIFUL GENIUS!!!#i've been thinking about this for days but only finally made myself make it. last day to eat the chicken#it was soooo good but i wish i'd put more onion on but i was lazy and only cut a tiny bit#food tag#photo record#chatpost#i wanna eat that wrap another six times. too bad i only had one chicken and one naan#coulda put tomatoes on there too but it was hard enough to hold as is#it was a spinach garlic naan btw if you're curious
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What do you think the types of drunk would the murder trio be? Im pretty sure ask dusttale already answered this question about dust but i have to ask the mtt expert
see now askdusttale DID answer the question. but they didn't ANSWER the question when asked what dust is like drunk. they just said that dust is the type to drink himself blackout drunk. so that mean i have total freedom on deciding what the mtt are like drunk hehehe (rubs hands together in a villanous way that you would imagine nightmare doing or something idk)
i already have an absolutely hilarious idea for horror and it might just because i'm on the guilt section of his character analysis but i could TOTALLY imagine him being an emotional drunk. like he CRIES. horror sans man known for being incredibly guarded and private with what he feels bawling his eye out. he gets mad he gets sad he does not get happy because horror doesn't have the right to be happy. he is too upset over the fact that he fucking DOOMED all of horrortale because of his selfishness and nothing can stop him from being incredibly vocal about that fact so much so that killer had to tape his mouth shut because he wouldn't stop crying so loud. and then he just silently cries until he passes out from exhaustion. the alcohol has an incredibly strong effect on him because i dont think he would drink regularly plus he definitely hasnt drinken anything in those 7 years of starvation. it hits like a fucking plane crashing into him. or like getting his eye taken out again. either one!
another funny idea i had for killer would be like the alcohol affecting him but he SWEARS that he's still sober. he is very confused when he starts stumbling because wtf he doesnt FEEL drunk??? why is he bumping into walls and tables HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND FUCKING STUPID???? the alcohol is definitely effecting him but he swears he swears he doesn't feel drunk. hes not drunk its just the damn body doing this stupid bullshit!!!! he's still very aware of what's going on and is basically the same as sober but just like. he's wiggly he's wobbly and oh shit he just fell head face first into a tv whoops. he'd also have a high tolerance because just because. he can drink without feeling like shit until he just blacks out mid conversation with someone because his body couldn't take the toll of all the beer or whatever. hilarious idea triglycercule thank you triglycercule i know
dust in the context that we already know that he drinks AND he can fight against the human while like partially drunk.... i feel it would be kinda like a giggly drunk situation. except dust doesn't laugh at anything that's funny he only laughs when someone gets hurt or something. SADISTIC giggly drunk. because i can already imagine a half drunk dust laughing his ass off after killing the human and its a beautiful sight to me.
anyways imagine how it goes when you pair this sadistic giggly drunk with another that wont stop going through the 5 stages of grief and another that keeps on fucking falling over for no reason in his eyes. dream blunt rotation but the blunt is a bottle of vodka. i can already imagine it in my head and its fucking HILARIOUS. horror going on about how he caused the deaths of others and manipulated and tricked papyrus while killer is just trying his best to keep his eyes open because for some reason they won't stop trying to close. he is surprisingly getting frustated. dust has long since lost his voice laughing at this and he's just silent wheezing at everything. also phantom papyrus is only making the laughter worse because he keeps on making rude comments towards horror and killer and only he can hear him and its guffaw inducing. mtt amazing friend group you dont get shit like this anywhere else
#killer's breakdancing and he swears this isnt on purpose guys#GUYS GUYS ITS NOT ME THE BODY IS DRUNK OKAY WHY CANT I STOP WHEN DID I LEARN HOW TO DO THIS#horror has SO much to be guilty over its not even funny. ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY#nobody talks about this but this man is GUILTSTRIFEN. he is literally filled with so much guilt its not even funny#dust and killer have the genocides they did. ok. sure. that's it????#ugh god i dont wanna ramble in tags again..... im just gonna end up saying it in the analysis anyways but ughhhhhhhhhhh#yk what fine i'll rapid fire. trying to keep people from killing themselves. watching his friends die.#knowing that other monsters are getting eaten. worrying papyrus. coming up with a plan he knows wont work and tries make it happen#because that idea of them deconstrucing the core would NOT have worked so he did that out of selfishness#forcing his community to eat humans. tricking papyrus into eating humans. going against all his morals#dare i need say more i swear AND ALL OF THESE ARE SEPERATE THINGS TOO!!!!!!#he single handedly DOOMED horrortale into disarray by destroying the core#the eye idea wouldve worked. it wouldve been the only way monsterkind thrived#and yet he destroyed the core but kept his eye safe. as if one last big fuck you#you can have my eye but you cant have the machine that needs it. good luck bitches#THERE ALREADY WAS FOOD IN SNOWDIN BEFORE HE TOLD THEM TO EAT HUMANS#THERE COULD'VE BEEN ANOTHER WAY TO RATION THE FOOD OR FIND S FOOD SOURCE#BUT HE JUST TOLD TJEM TO EST HUMANS OUT OF SPITE SO UNDYNE WOULDN'T GET THE SOULS#granted it was a solution that worked for the hunger problem BUT HORROR FUCKING HATES IT#HE HATES THE IDEA OF EATING HUMANS HE HATES THE IDEA OF KILLING KIDS#BUT HE STILL DOES IT HE GOES AGAINST ALL HIS MORALS UGHHHHH#horror sans. horror sans my king horror sans my glorious lord and savior#i cannot WAIT to drop that character analysis. it will change lives. and by lives i mean me#i will be a changed man once the horror analysis comes out#anyways WHO IS THIS ANON AGAIN. its a question i always wonder because wtf#you have a daily question for me. this is like a log in event. if i answer all the questions in a row for a week i get a SPECIAL question#but fr thank you so much for your questions i love answering them its so fun to wrack my mind and figure out a way to answer it. brain teas#every time i see the words mtt expert i laugh lowly like an evil villain but i try not let it get to my head#humility is a standard i aim to uphold. one of my character traits. triglycercule character analysis when#tricule asks
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🤪🫠😛😅
#I’m like mostly recovered tbh but the irreversible physical changes of weight gain are triggering the fuck out of me rn#and it’s worse bc I know they’re in large part due to [redacted] and it’s like my fault pretty much so I got no one else to blame! 🤡#and knowing that every day I get older and every day it gets that much harder to lose the weight again bc that’s just what bodies do#I wanna d*e like. knowing I’ll never look the way I did before even if I never eat another morsel of food ever again#I know I don’t wanna go back to the way I felt and behaved when I did look ‘good’ like that but just. idk something about knowing I can’t g#*get that back no matter how hard I might theoretically try to in the future. I will always look inferior to that now#helpppppppp I’m just so [redacted lest I get the cops called on me]#ed tw
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#i have had a fucked up digestion lately#wish it would stop#i mean it's clearly my own fault for eating stuff that shouldn't have been eaten#but i didn't KNOW it had gone bad :(#had a mild bout of food poisoning recently#and another much worse one today#called out sick and basically haven't been able to leave the bathroom all day#good times#learn from my errors my friends:#if something in your fridge is a little bit old but 'probably still good'#DO NOT EAT IT#cosmo gyres#personal#tag rant#health#illness cw
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incredibly autism take on food. love it. i am also a sensory seeking food autistic. today for dinner i requested something “garlicky and flavorful” ended up with noodles and dumplings
soups can so be flavorful but a lot of the time they’re just not like that out in the world and it’s soooo disappointing. shockingly easy to make though (onions n garlic, veg, crap ton of spices bloomed in the oil, good broth, blend, SALT)
See I would never trash talk a dumpling but once again I think they are vehicles for other flavors. In MY opinion although soups are easy to make most of them just taste like Onions and Chicken Broth to me and I'm like where is the spice where is the intrigue where is the zest for life
#idk my mom makes good chicken and dumplings. but hers are different and better#replies#another fun thing the autism does is like i will go to the store buy foods i THINK i will eat then at random my brain decides i Cannot#i buy so many salty snacks because they're the one thing i know i will eat no matter what#but as for the rest? your guess is as good as mine what foods i won't waste this week#have had a caesar salad with avocado 4 nights a week for the past few months but it is starting to lose its appeal#so now i'm like. great. i have to find something new#idk when i will just randomly find it nasty. probably soon#it happened with oatmeal which i used to eat most mornings and enjoyed and then it randomly became disgusting#shame because it was so cheap and filling :/
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Woke up from my little power outage nap and couldn’t even manage to eat a full box of macked cheese, grad school will fuck you up for life kids, do it at your own risk.
#my stuff#i don’t like to admit it but i’ve developed a complicated relationship with food#i’m a rational person i know food is important and i feel hunger and when i do i want to eat#but due to the hassle of meal prep and my tight finances i basically only eat one meal a day at the end and use coffee to power through#often until like 6pm#which i know is not good in a general or transition sense#and when i was first starting to fall into this pattern i would eat A TON at night to make up for it#but sometime during my grief in march n april i developed#a psychological difficulty with finishing food. like executive dysfunction and insecurity hoarding combined#and also i sometimes get nauseous midway through eating#or rapidly feel full after being doubled over from hunger cramps and then hungry again an hour later#and above all else it’s annoying bc its subconscious or physiological and it makes it hard to overcome#and even if i was provided 3 meals a day i’d probably struggle to stomach eating that freq in any significant amount#i feel like when my stomach is empty it tries to quasi hibernate until last minute and then goes ravenous#much like me emotionally but that’s a different tag rant#anyways another complication is ‘sleep for dinner’ right when i get home which fucks up my eating AND sleep schedule#all this bullshit when i’m a scientist who has taken metabolism classes and knows my body is getting wrecked from this#so i’m guilty as fuck abt it🙂↕️
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It was my grandma's 90th birthday party on Saturday and we had a buffet with all sorts of stuff. At the end, there was some leftover salmon and prawns (among other things) which I wrapped and took home.
Bought some puff pastry (because I've made my own before and it is far more time than I currently have), cream, and spinach to make it into a pie. I'm quite happy with how it turned out :)
Despite her age, my grandma always bakes (and then loves to complain about how much it makes her knees hurt afterwards!). One of my favourite things she does is salmon tarts whenever she has leftover salmon. That was the main inspiration for this recipe.
Ingredients
- Puff pastry (I used two packs of premade stuff with a little left over)
- 1/2 onion
- 1 clove of garlic
- a bag of fresh baby leaf spinach
- a fresh salad tomato
- leftover poached salmon, smoked salmon, and prawns (shrimp)
- thyme, salt, pepper
- Worcester sauce (Lee and Perrins is the best)
- 300ml of double cream
- a bit of cheese (optional)
Recipe
1. Preheat an oven to gas 4 (177°C/350°F).
2. Line a pie dish with puff pastry, leaving a little extra around the edges to account for shrinking. Put a sheet of baking paper on top and cover with baking beans (I used split peas because that's what we have). Put this into the oven and set a timer for 10 ish minutes (you want the pastry to be partially cooked).
3. Finely dice half an onion and add to a saucepan over medium heat. Grate in some garlic (or mince it if you aren't as lazy as me!). Fry until translucent.
4. Add a bunch of spinach and allow it to wilt. Dice a tomato and add it too.
5. Add salt, pepper, thyme, and a dash of Worcester sauce along with around 300ml of double cream. More can be added later to taste.
6. Once simmering, add the salmon and prawns (I also had a little tiny bit of smoked salmon) and heat through.
7. By this point, the pastry should be partially cooked. Remove it from the oven, remove the baking beans (O.E), and pour the sauce into the pie. Turn the oven up to gas 7 (220°C/425°F).
7.5. Before giving the pie a lid, I grated a bunch of red Leicester on top of the filling as I was slightly short of filling and didn't want the lid to sag. This is optional, but experiment with whatever you feel might work.
8. Lay more puff pastry on top of the pie and crimp the edges. You can also score the top to give it a fancy pattern, and egg-wash to seal and glaze if you can be bothered (I couldn't).
9. Put the pie back in the oven for a further 10-15 minutes, or until the pastry is golden.
10. Leave to cool before serving, and enjoy!
#cooking#baking#pie#food#worcester sauce <3#salmon#prawns#shrimp#okay but why are my grandma's salmon tarts so tasty#they're so convenient too because they're already cooked and I can just eat them#did I mention tasty?#this pie was really bloody good too#I took a slice to work for lunch and ended up eating another small slice when I got home as a snack#I then ate another slice for tea#I literally ate half of this pie in one day#my family then ate the other half#my brother doesn't like prawns though so he left his filling#so I ate that today#it was still very tasty#is this how tumblrs use tags?#I think so#hi hello I definitely know how this platform works and am not just here for the aesthetic of being a Tumblr user#thats enough tags for today#my fingers hurt
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Comics Read in 2024:
What Did You Eat Yesterday? Vol. 14 by Fumi Yoshinaga (2018)
What Did You Eat Yesterday? Vol. 15 by Fumi Yoshinaga (2019)
What Did You Eat Yesterday? Vol. 16 by Fumi Yoshinaga (2019)
What Did You Eat Yesterday? Vol. 17 by Fumi Yoshinaga (2020)
What Did You Eat Yesterday? Vol. 18 by Fumi Yoshinaga (2021)
Manly Appetites: Minegishi Loves Otsu Vol. 1 by Mito (2019)
Restaurant to Another World Vol. 1 by Junpei Inuzuka & Takaaki Kugatsu (2017)
Restaurant to Another World Vol. 2 by Junpei Inuzuka & Takaaki Kugatsu (2017)
Restaurant to Another World Vol. 3 by Junpei Inuzuka & Takaaki Kugatsu (2018)
[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]
#gigi.txt#i loooooooooove what did u eat yesterday i finally caught up with the eng translation and MWAH MWAH i love it so much.#one of my absolute favorite mangas and one of my favorite mangakas. so good.#manly appetites was.......... i mean i was like oooh BL with a fat guy? but god it felt so WEIRD. like.#im fat. if the LI acted like that towards me i would be like wtf is wrong with u and get tf away. idk might continue not sure#restaurant to another world was............. fine? it was fine. the restaurant itself isekais which is cool in concept but...#if u like that concept just go read otherworldly izakaya nobu its like 20x better n i adore it very much#yes i like food. i like food mangas. anyway#2024media
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you know what I’ve realized lately? that’s really helped? the axiom: it just doesn’t really make that much of a difference. Or at least it doesn’t when you’re talking about good things and not, like, doing good vs. doing evil. Big choices, little choices, decisions, decisions —it’s not just that they don’t matter in the grand scheme of things—because they do! —but just. It won’t make that big of a difference. Life will continue to be wonderful AND difficult, fascinating AND hopelessly mundane, full of roses AND thorns and all the other cliches whether you walk down one road or another. And you’ll get used to the joys and sick of the sorrows whatever they are, and you’ll be ungrateful and bored and dissatisfied in some measure some of the time and you’ll have to work on all the things you have to work on anyways and just. Yeah! It doesn’t make that big of a difference! Even the biggest things!
#as Maria once said to me iconically: marry the guy don’t marry the guy#life is hard and it sucks and it’s also great and little treats exist#and we have to practice patience and virtue and penance regardless of any other circumstances#and God loves us no matter the path we take#like I just. I am reflecting#you know what also made this click for me recently? the limits that can be reached with doing little things to improve your life#like YES. I need to get some exercise and eat some food that is not totally terrible for me and clean my space#but you know the fuck WHAT#(I’m so sorry for swearing)#it doesn’t !!! actually !!!!! dramatically alter my life if I do one thing or another or in a certain order#I could become a fanatical hiker (for some reason I have been seized by the vision of this lately)#and it’s just like. well. yes you could. and you know what it would keep raining sometimes and my anxiety would still exist#and people would still be irritating and laughter would still be real!#anyway I don’t mean to be dismissive over the ways choices can deeply affect our lives#but when the choices are good and the options are good it just doesn’t matter that much#I also realized this with makeup lol. like I reached the point where I was like I could spend more time and effort and money#to achieve a higher level quality of appearance and literally for WHAT#people would still not pay attention to me in the grocery store (lol)#and they don’t need to!!!!! and it’s fine they don’t!!!!!!!#but I just. that voice in my head that’s like if you do X you will experience happiness you have never known#and things will all work out and everyone will be in love you#to that voice I say: well no.#wow this is long but you know what I mean????? it all just sort of matters less in the sense that nothing WE do is going to really#change our lives? I know that’s insane#because people are so insistent that the opposite is true. but like. actually no the most life changing opportunities usually happen#without our control or our scheming or our planning#so of the stuff within our control it’s not that big of a deal!! do good avoid evil enjoy your lunch call your mom!!! but that’s all gonna#keep being the same on the other side of so many many different choices we can make#so yeah
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