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LOVE YOU! <3

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baby i love you <3 saranghaeyo~ <3

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don’t need you to say you love me, because i’m gonna say yes, i’m willing (yes i do) :P

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today 12/06, tomorrow flying to HK le. Today i went school have my class but all i can think of is you, whether you can come out or not, will you be sad, will you cry or what.. i hope if you can send me off, please be a happy one so i can have a good memories of it. when i done everything and today the last day of school and it’s the start of holiday, i cannot wait to enjoy with you, and hope you can smile when i have time to accompany you. when i’m home, i started packing and then saw your photos and your letters, i wanted to bring over, but i worried i might lose it, i’m a clumsy girl, dear, i hope you will read all this, i just wanna write it down because it’s too long and i lazy type in phone, i might as well make a blog, keep a update of our memories :P see those photos, the first one is i kiss you when we were tgt, the next photo is you kiss me, it look so simple, but i feel happy looking at it. but you don’t seem look happy. but i don’t mind it, i just want you here stay with me, everytime i look at our photos, i don’t see you smile anymore, maybe because you worry you botak you look ugly or what, but trust me, if you smile properly and in any angle, you look perfect to me. if only you know how you look like through my eyes. but now, all i can think of is just, you. i got home had my dinner and i texted elmo, ask about your thing, what time you come out and all. and he told me the best THING I HEAR TODAY!!!! you came out tomorrow 10am, and im fetching you no matter what, if i meet you under my house or airport, i will lose extra time to be with you. i do not want to waste time anymore. i wan do what i wan before i go :) bby, tmr i get to see you le, i miss you. a lot. see you tomorrow my dear. i have more to say face to face. <3. for now, i only want say, i love you sweetheart, LOOK FOR ME AT BUSSTOP! HAHAHAHAHA  

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pretty pretty boy i love you 

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today 11/06. it’s a thurs night. you should be sleeping now. i’m wide awake now. i have to get ready tomorrows test but i don’t seem in the mood to revise or even look at it. hais.. today not a very good day for me. in the morning, i wasn’t feeling good, so i skipped school in the morning, but i wanted to go in the afternoon but the class was cancelled and i afternoon meet grace for bowling as she wanted it, but then we changed to ktv, actually one of my bro coming, but in the end he could not make it so did not go with us to bowl or ktv. after all this, i went ktv to sing, and then all the songs just make me think of you, those songs, those feelings i’m feeling inside me. those pain i felt being alone and the feeling of waiting for you and knowing and scared maybe some week you would give me surprise again and not come out again.. im scared. after all this, i went home, and wanted to have a good talk with my parents, but they talk to me about my attendance percentage and it’s the second time the letter were being sent, my dad was angry, and they don’t believe what i explained, and my mum started raising her voice at me and just make me feel like everything is my fault. it’s the teacher who say i’m late when i’m not, even i confront the teacher, the teacher just ignore me. wth. now they all say is my fault and all. my mum still ask me go school earlier, i woke up 2 hrs before schools, prepared for half an hour, and travel for 1 and a half hours to school, by asking me to wake up earlier, means i have to wake up 2 and a half hour earlier and take 2 hr travel time? and my mum said, yes ofcuz, i dun hav a choice. you know, they never understand how it feels for waking up so early and coming home late, and forever just squeezing with people in buses and going school attend boring lectures and listen to lecturer lame jokes and waste our time in school, classes were dragged, teacher cancel class without us knowing, and  having like... 5 hours of break or more in between. make me so tired of school. and this school sucks. nothing to explore and all. to them, i will never do anything right. to them, i’m just a problem maker. always. i cried ofcause. i break down from everything. you, family, financial, HK, i really need a break and a serious and loud cry. i wish you were here with me. if only you were here with me, there will be someone to wipe my tears away for the time being. if only you were here, i can break down in the arms of someone i’m familiar with, and just stay there till i have the energy and courage to stand up again, be confidence, and re-charge myself and work for another maybe half an year. if only you were here, everyday’s morning you will be my motivation to wake up and go pass every problems and then just to get the rewards is just to see you for awhile and get some pats from your big, warm hand that fits mine perfectly. if only bby... i need you. i’m sorry for saying all this make you cry or make you sad, but i just want you to know, someday when you’re in hostel, i may be living like hell outside, but whenever i saw you, i’m just like a happy girl, forgetting all her problems and stress, just plainly a girl, a happy one meeting her lover and spending her quality time with him. just know that, your existence is very important to me. i dunwan you to do wrong things, i want you to be a man of word, keep your promises, and also abide the rules in hostel, even if i can’t see you when i sad and all, i will always look at your photo and just felt better afterwards. don’t worry me bby :) trust me, when i’m outside without you, i’m stronger than you think. but i just want you to be the only one beside me when i break down and only you to see my tears flow down. just two more days before i fly to HK, i hope when i’m back, things would not change, you stay as you, the guy i love, the guy who smile warmly only at me no other girls with that, the guy who never stop caring me and never stop showing me how much he love me as time pass. today was a bad day for me, i can only say, if only you were right beside me. i cried, and it’s the first time i cried after so long(and a lot of time) that you’re not with me to wipe off my tears and look at me hush me from crying and could not hug me, i could not feel ..you hugs. i’m sorry bby, for this HK thing, and sorry for making you sad with this post, i want to make this blog your happiest moment, but i’m sorry i spoiled it. i suddenly think back like, these two photo, you started to take photo so much away from me, if i were to go HK, i don’t think i will be taking photo with you since u will move further away from me. i notice all your small action, i don’t know why you want to leave me so far, i just...nvm. if you have someone new, i wont stop you from leaving, but give me a notice. 因为有爱到就好. bby, i love you. memories of us keep flash inside my head. i really leaving HK for 5 days, and all these memories, i scared it will be the last of you that will be staying with me.. i... need you here with me..please..i love you. 28 our date, statues our song, this blog my first time doing, our photos our memories, our satay joke, our typos, our funny faces our comfortable signs... bby...please be... staying with me. please. i love you.

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Our Song...<3

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i know you don’t think that i am trying....

but hold your breathe because tonight will be the night that i’ll fall for you...

over again! don’t make me change my mind <3

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even for a week, a month, a year.. wait for me. 

no matter what..

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today 10/06, listening to statues by lil eddie. i miss you. i went with G(grace) to put on her tagging today and when i took the train i remembered how you came over to Yishun to fetch me over to RedHill in the mrt and we sit silently and on earpiece and sit side by side, i knew that time you didn't really love me that deep yet but i gave our LOVE the time needed and one day i would make you head over heels for me <3. i tried to make up conversation with you and forced you to take off your earpiece and you DID! i’m so happy at that point for time :P. then i talked to G about you and i’m worried when i;’m gone for HK, at the airport you might escape from hostel to send me. i know you, you would sacrifice ever single things for the chance to just see me and hug me and just send me off to a unfamiliar place. i don’t want it to happen, i’m worried all these days after you went back hostel on sun, 2pm. i love you, i’ll be the most happiest woman on earth if you could come and send me with a proper consent from your hostel, but i know cannot be done :’) but i’m not sad my dear, i’m not disappointed my dear, i’m delighted and proud of you, to uphold the rules and learning to be a man and strive hard for our future inside. i would never blame you, because i’m the luckiest woman on life <3 because my guy is in the country where i’m born in, striving to give me a proper and safe future in here <3 wait for me my dear.. i’ll be back to you in no time <3.

after we reach JE, i instantly remember so many things about you, your home, your place where you grow up in your teens life, the place where you hangout, the place where i will always be travelling and forever be, the place where we holds our hand and walk towards meeting your family, the place where i always have you by my side travelling together and joking with each other about others and our self <3, the never ending of your hugs and touches, the never ending of your eyes looking at me even if i’m not looking at you my dear(and i know it:P), i can’t help to feel a little sorrow inside me, but i push it back and remembered how happy i was being with you, baby, please wait for me, don’t go away, other than saying this, i notice there is nothing i can do anymore. i went to redhill and were standing i remembered how you hug me when i was standing and you were behind me hugging me making sure i don’t fall even a slightest jerk you would hold me tighter, you could not believe how blissful i felt at that period of time, you just make me melt into your hugs. but i came back to reality that you weren't here... and when i reached, i told G that we walking? she said there is direct bus, i was shocked because that time we walked and spent our time complaining how hot it was (okok, maybe just me complaining at first tho,) and when you went to the reporting area u took my photos and i could not stop thinking how unglam it was! and then you have to go in for reporting already, i was at the canteen waiting for you and when you went in, you came out after awhile and i thought you’re done, yet you just said you scared i was bored so you came out to accompany me, now i think back, at that point of time, i bet i feel for you deep at that sentence you said to me, you totally melt my heart! but you sat down awhile and then you have to go back in, i swear some part, a little part, of my heart breaks watching you leave. (HONESTLY, at that period of time, i was really in love with you already.) but soon, you were done and we walked away from that hole of death threatening area, and we took the path back, you wanted to hold my bag, i was reluctant to let you handle it, as you know you SWING things pretty AWESOMELY, i wouldn’t want my bag to be back in 2 pieces tho :P but i’m happy that we had these memories to accompany me while you’re inside hostel now, even though you always say you’re fine inside, i know sometime you aren't. you just don’t wish me to get worried and start being a CRY-BABY outside and you can’t be beside me to soothe me down, thank you sweetie for thinking so much much on my behalf my dear <3 you have always been so sweet, you did so much for me and all, i really wanna just kiss you and never let you go, because you are mine and with that, you stay as mine too <3. so after all this, G went home to change and we went to causeway point and have a walk, suddenly marcus called me, and kept asking me where am G and me, so i told him our location, but i think G knew it, so she doesn't feel surprised, but for me, i thought of you, that time when you surprised me at westmall, that day when i was so worried of your sisters so i didn’t really go check the reason why the whatsapp in your phone could sent thru, so i just keep a note to find it out after helping your sister. but when i reach, she told me the situation and then i kept quiet awhile when she got a call and then she asked me to go somewhere, so i followed blindly, i really didn’t hope much and you didn’t text me, do you know sad/ depressed i was feeling? i need you out to show you how much i want you, how much i need you(i know it sound super wrong:P) but you’re really the medicine for me to calm my nerves and relax from all my stress. you’re the key to my happiness, my dear <3. when the door open up, i saw you standing infront of me, inside me, i don’t know to smile or cry, but i think you wouldn’t want to see me tear, so i smile instead but my lips could not move, but i can’t stop starring at you when you smile so brightly when you saw me and called me bby... you look so...perfect!...then i knew, i wanted you. The moment i regain my senses, i realized i was in your embrace, i just felt so secure, your arms around me, i thought i wouldn’t feel it for quite awhile since you didn’t text me at all, but it felt so real and just around me, i looked up and saw you smiling down at me, you know i couldn’t resist to your smile and i really want to kiss you, but i decided to let our feelings linger for awhile till the HOT kisses comes ><! but i don’t know if you felt the same way as me too.. i just felt so ticklish in my stomach and the areas that your hand and fingers trace and touches. the moment we were in the lift, i wasn’t angry with you, but i show you like i am to cover up how bloody happy and shock i am, i didn’t want to show you because we were in the public haha! but i’m really delighted to see you beside me after sooo damn long time. it’s the happiness that i’m feeling inside, it’s so beautiful that makes me want to cry, cry the tears of joy <3. i need you so much that you can imagine, to you, you might think i am your pillar of support and strength, but you’re my pillar of life and heart. w/o you, i will collapse into someone i would not want to know. We went to the arcade and i proudly walk inside and saw alot of young and skinny girls but you seen them but you divert your sight back to me and watch for my reaction, i know my feelings are the priorities in your heart, i felt at ease when i felt all this, to me, all this girls doesn’t matters anymore, it’s just the world, you and me<3. and you never leave my side and your hand never leave my hand when you are free,(except for the dance game okay) i know all these small gesture you made for me, i appreciates it and i acknowledge it, don’t think idk :P i knew, just didn’t want to let you know i knew :P. when we go for the movies, i’m laughing badly because i think we sit the wrong seats! HAHA! but watching movies with you felt so strangely safe and relaxing, some friends or my ex, i have a feeling like they might touch me to disturb me of my show, but for you, even if you touches me or even just beside me, i felt your presence but i just don’t get interrupt by it, i felt so at ease that you’re here with me, knowing i’m not alone and i have the guy who make me feel so safe beside me, even if he is not built big, or muscular, or 6 packs and all, i just feel so safe being with you dear, but honestly i don’t remember the show, i just remembered how you look like in the dark with your features protruding out against the light of the show, w/o the hair, i can have a more clearer view of your face, your neck and those hands that hold mine dearly in. everything just felt so perfect at that moment, even the show doesn’t matters to me, looking at you and remembering the time we spent, remembering your face features one by one, is just so much more important for me<3. someone once wrote me a letter saying,”if my heart were a jail, you would rather be sentence for a lifetime”. but for me, i’m gonna say,” if you were to leave me, i would let you leave on a path where it leads you back to me.” i love you my dear <3. have a gd night and a sweetest dreams<3 and remember, i always love you <3.

signed off, dearest laopo<3

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Today, 09/06. tues night i’m missing you. just like you do sweetie <3. Today, i’m going to say out things i appreciates what you had done for me. 

Firstly, when we quarrel and i chased after you, i called out to you, you stopped. thankyou for stopping it’s because you can’t bear to ignore me and walk away. thankyou for thinking of my safety and my feelings. i love you my dear <3.

secondly, you always looked at me with that eyes of yours that is giving me butterflies ever single time our eyes met, even if i’m on makeup or not, ugly or pretty, fat or skinny, you never fail to look at me. thankyou for trying so hard to understand what i am thinking and what i am feeling, thankyou for the constant attention given altho sometime i lost to your social networks :P i love you for the effort you put in for our LOVE STORY<3.

thirdly, always never fail to stuff food into my mouth when ever i’m hungry :P, never fail to share me your food and feed me good food (YUMYUM):P. thankyou for the constant love and care you gave me knowing i LOVE FOOD! thankyou for having the thoughts of not letting me starve, i’m really very proud of you, my sweetheart<3.

fourthly, your ambition as a chef, honestly...i’m F***ing proud of you ^^. you’re just amazing, striving hard for your dreams and doing what u like, i can’t seem to stop gazing you for a slightly moment. once said by someone, the man that has a goal, is the hottest man on earth. and i gotten THE ONLY ONE <3. thankyou for striving so hard, i’m sorry i couldn’t help you, i’m really sorry, but thankyou sweetie, thankyou for all your hardwork of putting us, our future, our past and our goals together into one piece and never be separated. thankyou for the thoughts of having family with me ^^ you had warmed me so much that you can think, i could not express it in words well enough, but believe me i will stay with you so long that you might just find me annoying but i’m staying bitch <3. thankyou for being there for me whenever i need someone, regarding my family or yours, or my friends, you’re always there. thankyou for giving me the life that i dream for <3. i love you bby <3.

last but there are more, the wooing back, the chase, the food, the dishes, the endurance of my temper, the control of your temper, the patience in hostel, the separation of hostel b/w us, the separation of HK b/w us, all of this, thankyou for understanding, care for me, supporting me and also making choices that are the best for me, the effort made to just see me for a few hours and we’ll be satisfied<3. all of this, i just can’t express how much i have known from all your actions and words. i have never forget how the first time we met. never will. thankyou for all these things u did, you are truly my hero <3. the hero that protects me and my heart and our family, together <3. i’m not going to let you face any problems alone, i’m going through with you my dear <3 you can’t shake me off :P

there is one thing i wanna say, thankyou for the night that we watched a chinese show and we were on two separate beds, but you kept look at me and asked me if i’m cold, i said i’m not, i know you’ll still worry but i didn't thought that you would come over and cover me in blankets and hug me from behind to just keep me warm. i’m delighted and felt love at the same time. i have never ever gotten this type of care, the security and warmness were just overwhelming me. i could not stop looking at you, i could not stop thinking of just stopping time and just stay that way. i love you, i love you being close to me, the tingling feeling i felt on my skins are just proved that you had make me so crazy just being beside you. but when you’re asleep, i was kind of hoping you might wake up and look at me, and u did but for the fourth time u slept soundly on yr bed.. i didn't want to wake you, so i just look at you and pat you continuously , honestly, i didn't stop staring at your face, i can’t leave my sight of it. i want to trace your eyebrows to your nose and down to your lips and caress your lips with my fingers. i want to remember your face well, so if i were to go for a long trip, i would be able to remember even when i close my eyes ><. i’m sorry for all the trouble i caused, and the hurt i caused on you. i’m sorry. i just wanna say, i feel like i’m the luckiest woman on earth, to meet you my dear <3

sign off, your dearest <3

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This is the FIRST photo taken of me and you. i’ll never forget how you make me smile endlessly to my phone from all your sweet and funny messages. i can never forget how i get butterflies in my stomach when i first saw you walking out of the mrt smiling at me for dunno what! x.x yet, with all the butterflies u made me felt, i still kinda dislike you for making me look around like a giraffe for finding you. HAHA~ almost forgot, i could never ever EVER forget what u wore when i first saw you, its a red shirt short sleeve and a jean and yr cocky shoes, (anyway, you look stunning) and i couldn't stop thinking about the fact that i wore like so normal and yet you’re just slightly over dress :P but in the end u were going somewhere that i don’t like, but in the end, you didn’t go, and i’m really touched by this. i couldn't stop smiling when i knew u didn’t go. i could contain my smiles at yr text. you made me fall for you hard and now it’s PAY BACK TIME :P time to be madly in love with me and feel the butterflies in your stomach at the sight of me and never will you forget how i made you feel when you’re close to me :) lastly, i want to say, i am... madly in LOVE with you, my dear boy. so much <3