zuerhaben - Tumblr blog

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MOVING BLOGS

hey all you lovely followers! moritz is moving to a new url over at @andessence​ (which is still under construction! sorry!). this move is to bring moritz to my new multimuse account where she will hopefully get more attention. other than a change in url, everything with moritz will stay the same!

i’m keeping this blog and its url in case i ever decide to separate moritz to her own account again, but please be sure to follow the new blog for further moritz content!

[zuerhaben]

MOVING BLOGS

hey all you lovely followers! moritz is moving to a new url over at @andessence​ (which is still under construction! sorry!). this move is to bring moritz to my new multimuse account where she will hopefully get more attention. other than a change in url, everything with moritz will stay the same!

i’m keeping this blog and its url in case i ever decide to separate moritz to her own account again, but please be sure to follow the new blog for further moritz content!

[zuerhaben]

MOVING BLOGS

hey all you lovely followers! moritz is moving to a new url over at @andessence​ (which is still under construction! sorry!). this move is to bring moritz to my new multimuse account where she will hopefully get more attention. other than a change in url, everything with moritz will stay the same!

i’m keeping this blog and its url in case i ever decide to separate moritz to her own account again, but please be sure to follow the new blog for further moritz content!

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▶▶ i have been on break for exactly 2 days and my brain is already feeding me horrible ideas ◀◀

so i’m contemplating making a multimuse account to condense several of my lesser blogs and increase my availability for all characters, but like… idk…. the muses i would move would probably be as follows:

sibella

ganymede

moritz

david

alec

jack

caddy

and the remaining blogs would probably stay separate. other muses would likely be included as well that i wouldn’t otherwise let myself write for because… managing 11 blogs is already impossible. so ?? idk man pros and cons?? please help me and vote!!

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i’m sorry i Cannot Ever Shut Up that reply was so extra

but yeah i mean!! i would say that moritz obviously feels at least some attraction to women, and if she were able to come to a comfortable understanding of herself it would probably be easier to embrace that attraction as a wlw. 

the allegory of the headless queen would seem more to indicate that moritz could only end well with someone to “put a head on” her as the king does for the queen. the obvious parallel here is melchior with his abundance of knowledge as the two headed king, and so it would perhaps indicate that moritz’s attraction to women would be lessened or stopped by a ‘correct’ metaphorical marriage with a man. however, i think the role of the king could potentially be indeterminate in gender or at least muddied in gender, since the queen obviously is with moritz. you could make a case that a more ‘complete’ girl could provide for moritz in the same way, and i don’t think it would be wrong.

i think the more relevant point from the headless queen speech to an attraction to women might be the metaphor of the head as a means by which to process and communicate with the world around one. the queen has to tap out orders with her feet or flail her hands to get others to understand her, paralleling the way moritz feels the world is inaccessible and strange to her, and the way in which she feels mute or unable to engage with that world. to receive the ‘head’ moritz wants would mean an ability to talk about and understand the connections with people that she feels like she can’t at present. so if the dream were made real and this ‘head’ was given (however that came to be), moritz would be able to get answers about herself and the world, and feel connected again to it. it means peace and love for the queen in the story, and moritz believes it would in her own case, too, so bringing the metaphor into her real life, maybe it could mean the ability to understand and talk about her feelings with others, and to accept them. in our case, specifically she might be more able to communicate and comprehend her attraction toward girls.

i definitely think it would take A LOT to make moritz comfortable with the very idea of wanting a girl — like, we’re talking a herculean task here — but it’s possible, and the speech’s allegory would seem to indicate that it would be a lot more likely if she could just get that ‘head’ she feels she needs. 

@zuerhaben yeah no I’m way too prideful to reblog your whole ass essay with only dumb questions and no equally beautifully written insight. ANYWAY! Does this mean that you potentially headcanon Moritz as a wlw? Also, also… does her fascination with the headless queen continue to say something about her attraction to female-bodied people once Moritz is in possession of a better understanding of herself/her gender? 

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listen the fuck up my man there’s a reason that martha likes moritz while all the other girls are into melchior; moritz is a gentle, nervous, and sweet sort, and above all: not intimidating. she’s suffering really badly at home, as we all know, and the fact that she admits to liking moritz tells us she is looking for someone who won’t hurt her, who is ‘not like other boys.’ (i could get into a whole spiel on how moritz’s more feminine demeanor and discomfort with masculinity factors into this perception, but that’s a whole deal for another time.) of course martha would still see moritz as just that — a funny sort of boy — and would really know nothing about the conflict in moritz over gender that produces this strange attitude.

also, when martha admits her crush to her friends, she says: “Ich habe mich immer ganz gut mit ihm unterhalten.” (“I’ve always talked to him very well” from my weak-at-best german skills. one english translation has it as “i’ve always found him very interesting company” but i think that changes the meaning a little bit.) she feels comfortable talking with someone whom she normally shouldn’t, namely a ‘boy,’ and this is big! play!martha is a little hardened by her family’s abuse, casually remarking that they only beat her on special occasions, and that the other abusive behavior is therefore ‘normal.’ she accepts that it’s her lot to be treated like that, and is wary of inciting punishment. the fact that she feels comfortable and trusting enough to be made to look foolish and embarrassing around moritz, as thea mentions, tells us that she’s unusually trusting around moritz. in the musical there’s even more reason for her to be cold, especially with men, as her father’s abuse is commuted by the writers specifically into sexual abuse. here, it’s truly a HUGE statement that she could feel safe with moritz, who she perceives as a boy, after what she’s been through. it only confirms how special she finds moritz and how significant the trust she has there really is. the remark about “talking well with him” also tells us that it’s conversation that’s made her like moritz, not looks, or reputation, as is the case with melchior for the other girls. martha remarks “[melchior] has a beautiful forehead, but his friend has a more soulful look” indicating still more that it is something personal and emotional that she likes in moritz.

the attraction is undoubtably more one-sided, and moritz likely doesn’t understand anything about how martha feels, (but seeing a canon-divergence where she’s allowed to know what martha thinks of her would be super interesting!) making it hard to imagine them ending up together. of course, all attraction frightens moritz, and she’d be much too scared to try anything with martha. what’s more, moritz is deeply confused about her attraction to girls (as evidenced in the headless queen speech, which is too long to quote here but here’s the highlight for our purposes: she only feels attraction to a girl’s body when she imagines it without a head because the head represents knowledge and personality). i’ve remarked at GREAT LENGTH about the significance of this and the whole headless queen speech in this post on my personal (a relic from before i officially headcanoned moritz as trans so rip heads up for the misgendering ‘him’s all over the place), but i think i would amend my previous statements with the new understanding that an insecurity in moritz’s own sense of gender is what makes her unable to reconcile her attraction to women. she doesn’t want what a man wants from women, and to have a woman as she is would force her to feel more like a man, which is uncomfortable and undesirable. to want the body without the person in it is as safe as she can get.

with martha, then, moritz would undoubtably struggle to even accept the idea of them together because in her small scope of understanding, it would necessitate that she be a man for martha, because any deviation from the man+woman formula has not been offered to her as an option. there would be a lot of potential for angst and self-discovery in this vein.

but it could also just be wholesome and comforting in that martha proclaims the intent to raise children “free” after what she’s faced — openly criticizing the parents she sees around her, despite her feeling that being abused is normal — and would therefore be more likely to sort through moritz’s feelings of failing her family and understand them as a type of oppressive expectation similar to those put on her in her own house. i talk all the time about how ilse wanted to be that Special Person for moritz but that they just couldn’t see each other — couldn’t grasp the experiences of the other — and so ultimately failed each other. martha would be successful where ilse was not because of her admiration for what moritz IS, and not what moritz COULD BE, which was ilse’s greatest problem in communicating with moritz. so martha and moritz could actually truly help each other and comfort each other, with moritz being a gentle love for martha and martha being an understanding and supportive love for moritz, which is just so gosh darn good how could you not want that??

and like,,, i know that not that many people care to read the play, let alone read it as ‘moritz is trans’ so a few things here are lost on the general fan group, BUT LIKE!!! there’s still so much good content here, even if you see moritz just as a boy who is kinder and gentler than most and in whom martha can place a lot of trust!!

zuerhaben:

all my soul craves on this day is some martha/moritz why does the world fail me why must everyone be so blind to the potential in this ship?

I have never thought about this. tell me everything.

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https://www.instagram.com/p/BSV8xvpjcQX/

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all my soul craves on this day is some martha/moritz why does the world fail me why must everyone be so blind to the potential in this ship?

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hey my pals i’m still mobile while traveling but i want to get more threads going here for moritz so LIKE/REBLOG FOR A STARTER!

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hey my pals i’m still mobile while traveling but i want to get more threads going here for moritz so LIKE/REBLOG FOR A STARTER!

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(via Kenwyn Churchyard, near Truro | Flickr - Photo Sharing!)

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winter, polaroid sx-70 alpha1 model2 [impossible color sx70], photography by aurélien boyer.

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Send "Blank mind" for a situation where my muse doesn't remember anything.

They don’t remember your muse, nor who they are. They can’t recall what happened, what’s their favorite meal or special abilities that they have (if they have any).

How you’re muse will help them to remember? Or maybe they will use it as an opportunity to get benefit from my muse? Watch my muse discovering themselves and the world anew.

P. S. This is great for first interactions. (It’s a completely fresh start + you can develop a strong bond between muses).

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“ i’m sorry ” (Melchior, at Moritz's grave)

two word starters // @doubleheadedking

Don’t be, comes her silent voice from that veiled place where he is hopeless to hear her. You came! You came and that is all I could have wanted.

In that dark moment by the banks of the river, she had comforted herself and resolved her nerve with the assurance that Melchior would see her funeral, and that he would place a wreath over her grave. When this day came, though, Melchior’s own troubles had already reached him and spirited him away to the confines of a reformatory. (This was her fault, in part. It was her death that had led to the inquiry, the discovery of Melchior’s essay, the PUNISHMENT that followed it…) As all the little figures in black paraded into the cemetery behind the body that was no longer hers, she had searched desperately for the one face she needed most to see and found it MISSING.

She’d cried. She’d cried as she’d thought herself incapable after death, clutching her blown-off head in the circle of her arms and crouching at the edge of the ditch into which they lowered that stranger of a corpse to sob for it, and for herself, and for their far off friend.

And this grief — this longing — has sat in her rotting heart all this while, until just this moment. It hadn’t mattered that she had been following after him, so very close at hand, in the interim; this is the first time he has spoken to her, and it makes her feel, just for a moment, as if he truly knows she is there. It reminds her what it was to escape loneliness in life, when the solitude was not yet complete.

I missed you, Melchi. I missed you terribly, I can’t even say how! But you’re here now, and that’s that, she says, and with a hand powerless to make him feel its weight, she touches his cheek. He is warm, and she craves to feel this in her own skin again, and if she cannot have that, then to feel it AGAINST her skin.

You mustn’t go again, Melchi. You mustn’t go back to them. Stay here, with me. Stay, stay, stay—

“MELCHIOR.” And her voice is real, suddenly. Can he hear it? “MELCHIOR!”