zoyzauce

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a tardigrade has fallen and scraped all eight of his little knees

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I love my people and it's amazing to see so many of us turn up today, but it's like herding very friendly cats 😂

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO LOOK AT HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON UNTRAINABLE THE STAGE PLAY RN

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DO NOT SUPPORT SALVATION ARMY 

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Zoozve, my beloved

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just heard the austin powers theme playing faintly somewhere in the house, I’m the only one here

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I submit to you that the most iconic feature of any animal is either unlikely or impossible to fossilize.

If all we had of wolves were their bones we would never guess that they howl.

If all we had of elephants were fossils with no living related species, we might infer some kind of proboscis but we’d never come up with those ears.

If all we had of chickens were bones, we wouldn’t know about their combs and wattles, or that roosters crow.

We wouldn’t know that lions have manes, or that zebras have stripes, or that peacocks have trains, that howler monkeys yell, that cats purr, that deer shed the velvet from their antlers, that caterpillars become butterflies, that spiders make webs, that chickadees say their name, that Canada geese are assholes, that orangutans are ginger, that dolphins echolocate, or that squid even existed.

My point here is that we don’t know anything about dinosaurs. If we saw one we would not recognize it. As my evidence I submit the above, along with the fact that it took us two centuries to realize they’d been all around us the whole time.

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Oh my god I just remembered last night's dream. I was a concubine at an ancient Chinese emperor's court, and he decided to make all of the concubines hotdogs, but his hotdogs SUCKED it was like the tiniest sausage and a mountain of toppings, and I was the only one who didn't force myself to eat it so he sentenced me to death

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hey let's start spreading the reminder now that you cannot safely self-manage an abortion with herbal medicine or essential oils. natural abortifacients function by poisoning you; you wait for your body to realize you're dying and reject the pregnancy in order to conserve resources, and hope that happens before the rest of your organs shut down.

i think there will be an upsurge soon of unscrupulous and/or malicious actors preying on desperate pregnant people; do not help them kill people. don't spread recipes for herbal medicines or ingestible essential oil mixtures that purport to cause a pregnancy termination.

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😭😭

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This is the best idea in the history of film.

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