zoeybabbling

[zoeybabbling]

A short one about failure and hope

What makes a Loki Loki?

That we are destined to fail.

At the end of time, Loki saw many versions of himself. The classic Loki - him in the future; the boastful Loki - him as a dickhead; the alligator - him as, well, an alligator; and the child Loki - him who killed Thor.

To be exact, these are not him. This is where ‘defining moments’ play a part. But Loki had to admit that they are all possbilities of what he could have been, at different stages of his very long life.

And there is Sylvie. Loki went through an acceptance curve to decide if she is a Loki or not. Is she a superior version of him? She tricked them all and bombed the sacred timeline just like that and then almost got away if not for Loki. Is she not Loki at all? She is so different from all the scumbs he saw when the uprising happened at the end of time. In exactly what timeline would he run for presidency and wear a stupid badge like that? If Lokis are destined to fall into chaos like that, even at the end of the fucking time, then he would rather go with Sylvie.

But he had his doubts - doubts that stirred by He Who Remains, not from him. Is this all? He found a better version of himself or someon else and then happily ever after. Can he truly change? Would Sylvie one day be unbearable to him even this seems unlikely now? He told Sylvie, before they went for Alioth, that he has changed and would not betray her; and they both saw how much truth that promise held.

He remembered the bitterness on his tongue when he said ‘trust is for children and dogs’ to Mobius. The truth behind such venon is that he is not capable of such a nice thing. He tried but he can’t anymore. He has been let down so many times that the only person he would not betray is himself and himself only. Treating others like pawns makes him feel protected and special, like his dramatic horns.

He is committed to save the TVA. Like a newborn chick recognising the first being it sees as its mom, he only knows people from there that he may call friends in this world. He brought back Victor Timely, but too late. He then found them all but only he could time slip. And then again and again he tried; even for Gods hundreads of years is not easily passed by. He’s run out of choices, but he could not kill Sylvie like He Who Remains urges. Maybe he’s not changed, but at least he’s not treating others like chess pieces.

When he took all the overloading branches and walked toward his lonely throne in all time and space, he thought about if this is the only choice. It felt like something’s missing - an important piece. As the new and destined God of Stories, there is one particular branch that caught his attention: his branch. All of a sudden, he felt a swirl and was taken away by a strong gast. The last sight he saw was all the branches, still in their places, forming the world tree.

He woke up in Asgard.