zhaegon

[zhaegon]

hyunjin in a buzzcut is actually so hot

[zhaegon]

the way my only reaction to hearing idol dating rumors is: "how the hell do they have time for that?"

it seems already stressful enough being an idol but then you have to get into a relationship AND THEN having to hide it sounds exhausting

[zhaegon]

split —

pairing : best friend!taesan x gn!reader

summary : you find youself caught in the subtle whirlwind of unrequited love with someone and one-sided pining.

warnings : ANGST! holy angst, love bombing, maybe more

a/n : “christmas is coming” !! another niki inspired fic :3

songs queued ! : split - niki, oceans and engines - niki, drivers liscence - olivia rodrigo

— w/c : about 1k — not proof read ! —

taesan : online

the early spring sun filtered through the large windows of the university café, illuminating taesan’s face as he smiled. the warm light softened his sharp features, making him look effortlessly beautiful, as if he belonged in a painting. you tried not to stare too long, shifting your focus to the steaming cup of coffee in your hands.

“you’re so easy to hang out with,” taesan said suddenly, his voice cutting through the soft hum of the café. it was the boy you were crushing on for 2 years.

you blinked, caught off guard. “what?”

he grinned, leaning forward on his elbows. “i mean it. it’s like, no matter what we do, it’s always fun when i��m with you.”

your heart skipped a beat, warmth spreading through your chest. “you’re exaggerating,” you said, trying to laugh it off.

“i’m not,” he insisted, his gaze locking with yours. “you’re just… different. in a good way.”

you looked away, heat rising to your cheeks. moments like this were what made it so hard to walk away, even when you knew better.

“so,” taesan continued, leaning back in his chair with a casual ease, “what do you want to do today? we’ve got the whole day to ourselves.”

it was rare to have a day like this, just the two of you. your schedules usually didn’t align, and taesan was always surrounded by friends or admirers. but he had texted you the night before “free tomorrow. wanna hang out? just us?” and you’d jumped at the chance.

“i don’t know,” you said, forcing a smile. “what do you feel like doing?”

taesan tilted his head, his eyes sparkling with something playful, almost teasing. “come on, y/n. don’t make me decide everything. you always have the best ideas.”

he reached out suddenly, brushing his fingers against the edge of your sleeve. “you’re too modest, you know that? you should give yourself more credit.”

you felt your breath hitch at the contact, his words settling over you like a warm blanket.

“i heard there’s a new vinyls at the records store,” you offered, trying to steady your voice. “we could check it out.”

taesan’s face lit up, his enthusiasm palpable. “perfect. let’s go.”

the store was quieter than you expected, the echo of damp music filled the rooms. taesan walked ahead, stopping occasionally to inspect a disc. every so often, he’d glance back at you with a mischievous smile, like he was silently inviting you into his world.

at one point, he paused in front of an vinyl by earth, wind, and fire, splashed with bold reds and blacks. “do you like this one?” he asked, gesturing to it.

you shrugged, stepping closer. taking a listen to it through on of the portable players the store provides.“it’s nice. calm and nostalgic. i would definitely listen to it again”

taesan nodded thoughtfully, his gaze fixed on the cover. “it sounds nice. something that i enjoy over time.”

then he turned to you, his expression softening. “kind of like how i feel when i’m with you.”

your heart stuttered, and you stared at him, unsure if you’d heard him correctly.

“don’t look at me like that,” he said, laughing, though his voice held a warmth that made your chest ache. “i’m just saying the truth. you’re good to have around, y/n.”

you managed a small smile, even as his words carved deeper into the fragile hope you tried to ignore.

lunch was at a small, tucked-away diner taesan insisted on visiting. over plates of beautifully served sushi, he regaled you with stories about his latest escapades which were really just late-night study sessions, group projects that went horribly wrong, as well as music he had been producing.

“you always know how to make me laugh,” he said at one point, shaking his head in amusement. “seriously, what would i do without you?”

your stomach flipped, the sincerity in his voice making it harder to stay grounded.

“probably the same things you’re already doing,” you replied, trying to keep your tone light.

“no way,” he shot back, leaning across the table slightly. “you make everything better, y/n. don’t sell yourself short.”

he reached out then, brushing a crumb off your sleeve. the gesture was so casual, so natural, but it sent your heart racing.

“you’re quiet today,” he said, his tone softening. “everything okay?

you hesitated, unsure how to answer. how could you explain the weight of feelings you’d carried for so long, feelings you knew he’d never fully return?

“i’m fine,” you lied.

by the time the sun began to set, the day felt like a dream slowly slipping through your fingers. the park was almost empty, save for a few joggers and dog walkers, the horizon painted in hues of orange and pink.

taesan leaned back on the grass, his hands tucked behind his head, while you sat beside him, arms wrapped around your knees.

“this is nice,” he murmured, closing his eyes.

you watched him, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the faint smile on his lips. it was moments like these that made everything harder, moments where you almost let yourself believe there was something more between you.

“taesan,” you began, your voice trembling.

he opened one eye, glancing at you with a hint of curiosity. “hmm?”

you swallowed hard, your heart pounding. “do you ever think about… us?”

he frowned slightly, propping himself up on one elbow to face you. “what do you mean?”

you looked down at your hands, unable to meet his gaze. “i mean… do you ever think about what we are? what we could be?”

the silence that followed was deafening.

“y/n…” taesan’s voice was gentle, almost apologetic.

you braced yourself, already knowing what was coming.

“i care about you so much,” he continued, “but i don’t think i can give you what you’re looking for.”

his words felt like a punch to the chest, the air leaving your lungs in one sharp exhale. you nodded, forcing a smile you knew didn’t reach your eyes.

“it’s okay,” you said, your voice barely audible. “i just… i needed to know.”

taesan reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder. the gesture was meant to be comforting, but it only made the ache in your chest worse.

“you mean so much to me,” he said softly. “i hope you know that.”

you nodded again, unable to speak.

that night, as you lay in bed staring at the ceiling, your phone buzzed on the nightstand. it was a message from taesan.

“i hope you’re okay. let me know if you want to talk.”

you stared at the screen, your chest tightening. the rational part of you knew he cared in his own way, that he didn’t mean to hurt you. but that didn’t make it any easier.

for the first time, you didn’t reply.

instead, you turned off your phone and curled up under the covers, tears slipping silently down your cheeks.

you knew this was the end of the lingering hope you’d clung to for so long. there would be no magical moment of realization, no shift in the way he saw you.

and while the thought of letting go felt unbearable, you knew it was the only way to start healing.

because staying would only break you further.

taesan : blocked

[zhaegon]

[zhaegon]

THE BLUSH

[JAKE] Day or night ❤️‍🔥

[zhaegon]

[Image ID: An image of a purple badge with the text 'I really wish I weren't living through a another Trump presidency right now!' /End ID]

[zhaegon]

I know it’s still early and we shouldn’t worry and the full results will still take a while to come in but PLEASE someone sedate me someone hold me someone give me a giant cave to scream in oh my fucking goodness.

[zhaegon]

Seriously. Stop doing it.

[zhaegon]

men in chokers

[zhaegon]

🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

JAKES AS?MR

[zhaegon]

I'm seeing an uptick in people calling not to vote for Harris as a protest against the war on Palestine.

I'm taking it all as propaganda, and I'd encourage you to do the same.

I absolutely support Palestinians, from the very bottom of my heart. I'm sickened and devastated by what's going on. I've donated what little money I have to spare.

But y'all. Harris at least is calling for a ceasefire. Trump said Israel should finish the job. He said he wants generals like Hitler had. He genuinely, truly, deeply wants a genocide, both here and there.

Not voting, or god forbid, voting for Trump, will make things infinitely worse. If he wins, it's all over. And his running mate is worse.

Please please please, get out and vote for Harris. It is genuinely our only chance at peace for anyone.

[zhaegon]

[zhaegon]

[zhaegon]

the way i could actually fix myself if i didn’t have to worry about college…..

[zhaegon]

seunghans return was such an important thing to happen as well. bringing seunghan back showed delusional fans that they couldn't win just because they dont like something. with so many innocent idols being removed from groups, seunghan coming back was so important and was really showing some growth in the kpop industry. but now theyre too scared.

it was too early to decide if seunghan wasn't fit for the group. he had been back for 2 days and hadn't had a single public appearance. if he went to madrid with them, i guarantee this wouldn't have happened as he would have seen the overwhelming amount of support he was getting elsewhere.

sm really is a company that supports bullies. we love you seunghan. riize will always be 7 to me.

[zhaegon]

airport jake is so cute😭😭😭

[zhaegon]

imagine liking your best friend

def not me