zeyatta

[zeyatta]

what are your biggest konks?

bindage

[zeyatta]

we cant ha;ve anything anyrmeo due to the green ape hour

[zeyatta]

Was trying not to cry laughing at radiology today

[zeyatta]

YOU THERE

HALT !!!

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[zeyatta]

bringing this one over from twitter

[zeyatta]

eat an entire can of sweetened condensed milk. you deserve it.

[zeyatta]

when u Mom com home and make hte spagheti

[zeyatta]

[zeyatta]

they can't stop you from thinking about gay sex on company time

[zeyatta]

Obsessed with this year's grand prize winner of the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest

2022 Grand Prize Winner

"I knew she was trouble the second she walked into my 24-hour deli, laundromat, and detective agency, and after dropping a load of unmentionables in one of the heavy-duty machines (a mistake that would soon turn deadly) she turned to me, asking for two things: find her missing husband and make her a salami on rye with spicy mustard, breaking into tears when I told her I couldn't help—I was fresh out of salami."

[zeyatta]

[zeyatta]

My fucking cat has figured out how to gently dig his claws into my eyelid and pull my eyes open while I'm sleeping. He does this. It does not hurt. He is remarkably precise and gentle. I however am asleep when it happens and do not appreciate being clockwork oranged by a needy clingy goddamn animal who thinks he needs attention.

[zeyatta]

[zeyatta]

do you ever become obsessed with a character and you just go "of fucking course its that one" at yourself because you are so incredibly predictable

[zeyatta]

realism in video games

[zeyatta]

this has reduced me to tears

[zeyatta]

do you weep

often