zeroheroaero-blog

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False I believe with my whole heart, either Stephanie or Tim , or even duke will say Batman

Bruce Wayne & Kids™ on one of those YouTube celebrity interview channels

°

Interviewer: *hands Bruce one of those Most Googled Questions boards* We'll just start off with some miscellaneous questions for Bruce

Everyone: *nods/hums their agreement*

Bruce, peeling off the first sticker: Ok! First question, "Who is Bruce Wayne..? Dating!

Bruce: God question, so actual-

Bruce gets interrupted as all his children, sitting around him, give their own answers

Dick: Clark, obviously

Jason: Superman

Tim: Selina

Cass: Minhkhoa Khan

Stephanie: Superman

Damian: Mother

Duke: No one..?

Bruce: ...

Everyone: ...

Bruce: So as I was saying, Bruce Wayne is currently single

Bruce, exasperated: Thank you, Duke

The kids: *suspicious glaring at each other and Bruce*

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Hey so we need to redact that-

The final clip is filled with long beeps, you can mildly make out three voices, two saying "Superman" and a young voice going "mother"

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Dpxdc prompt #3!!:

AU WHERE:

Dick grayson sees Danny in an alley late at night when he’s patrolling and fully believes it’s Jason.

Dick as nightwing: “Little wing..?”

Danny looks up from the trashcan he was riffling in looking for spare parts behind a bestbuy: “..wha-“

Dick, tackling Danny in a giant hug: “I- I thought you were- oh Jason!”

Danny just accepts this bc as the ghost king he sometimes has the tendency to look like other ghosts..: “Oh- uh.. there, there..?”

Dick eventually figures out that Danny isn’t Jason when he tries to take him to the manor, and Danny has to awkwardly fess up that he’s not actually Nightwings dead younger brother, but he might be able to find jason’s soul, being the king of the infinite realms and all.

Danny and Dick go on a crazy adventure looking for Jason.

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Let’s go!!!

to this day possibly one of my best ideas. someone get me a pitch meeting with the hallmark channel

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The Four Horsemen of Pattern Recognition:

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I am so obsessed with this right now

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Omg baby versions

Day 6!!! Cleansing the caitvi TL!!

Spreading my “soulmates sharing wounds” agenda. Cassandra spend some fortune saving caitlyn and that resulted on also saving vi lmaooo ✌🏼😗

Kofi

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Day seven of cleansing the caitvi TL

Continuing the AU! They share the same wounds, vi is only awake cause she has a higher pain tolerance

Kofi

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Day 8 of cleaning the caitvi TL

Vander caught vi on cait’s bed and took a pic Sbbsbsbhs

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Next stop me

Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

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Beautiful

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

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Like a glowstick

Short DP X DC Prompts #34

Lil ghost blobs start following Jason after he exits the Lazarus pits. They act Will o’ the Wisp style to assist Jason on finding batfam members when they need help. Batfamily is confused how Jason ALWAYS appears at the right place at the right time.

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At first dick was just giving Tim space yes he knows he fucked up, thee most he can do is give Tim some space, so what that tim now growls at him when before there had been smiles, but little by little he had released that something is in fact wrong and it’s not the trama, the trip around the world had change Tim in the most fundamental way he is now so much more animalistic than before he is losing his brother and he may be too late once again

Short DPXDC Prompts #594

Tim finds a strange amulet while on a mission for Bruce. Instead of putting it in storage in the Batcave, he puts the necklace on and convinces himself that it’s safer on his person. He can’t for the life of him figure out why he just can’t let the amulet leave his line of sight but he just can’t.  He figured out why a few weeks later when he woke up at least 150ft (46m) taller than he was before.  He came to two conclusions very quickly: 

1.) The amulet is absolutely magical. 2.) He was a dragon.

—— King Danny received word that an amulet from Aragon’s kingdom has found a new host. Not only that but Dora and himself were tasked to train and teach this new amulet user. Upon using a ghost portal to find the amulet wielder he came to two conclusions very quickly: 

1.) The amulet had chosen an alive human as its wearer. 2.) The amulet wearer was very hot.

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To The Person Who Was Sitting Near Me On The Train - Jordan Bolton

My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is out Nov 7th and is available to pre-order here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky

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Tim: something is wrong, I know it’s my birthday but I swear it’s like time is no moving for me I swear I had muitple 17th birthday something is wrong, this could be a side affect of Bruce’s jaunt thru the timestream but I haven’t actually been in contact in any time things, I have no evidence but I trust my gut and the strong feelings of dejavu even if I am wrong about time it will just prove something is messing with my memory and l may be compromised and so is the rest of the family I know too many things

Midnight 🕛

Tim: ah I am finally 17, i feel like i am forgetting something important

It's tim's birthday, happy birthday to that nerd

also a bonus batfam doodle

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Green lantern is the only one who is never in the in trouble zone soly because he is always in a separate zones known as tolerable and un tolerable and he is mostly in the un tolerable most of the time

To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.

Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.

Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.

Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.

The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.

The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.

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Aggressively rubbing the potato

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i’m so glad earth only has one moon, if there were more i’d have to pick a favorite and that sounds too emotionally taxing to even fathom