zeldaismybitch

[zeldaismybitch]

Stay cool, everyone!

[zeldaismybitch]

Mandalorian: *enters the frame*

Soundtrack:

[zeldaismybitch]

[zeldaismybitch]

*therapist voice* you are stupid and gay

[zeldaismybitch]

My goal is to chill as hard as possible. Then die in an explosion

[zeldaismybitch]

[zeldaismybitch]

[zeldaismybitch]

To be honest like wtf

[zeldaismybitch]

A little affection huh?

[zeldaismybitch]

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake.  -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

[zeldaismybitch]

the witcher but with britney spears music (heavily inspired by @paper-records)

[zeldaismybitch]

[zeldaismybitch]

*psychiatrist listens to me describe my symptoms and writes down a note on their clipboard that just says “LOL”*

[zeldaismybitch]

welcome to applebees would you like apples or bees?

[zeldaismybitch]

as funny as “those are his hooves you bitch” I’m mad that it overshadows that lil wayne really did have socks on in a jacuzzi 

[zeldaismybitch]

[zeldaismybitch]

❤️ pink starter dex ❤️ #001 - very berry bulbasaur

(it is very dangerous to entertain the thought of pink-ifying all pokémon in order…)