zayroen

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robin 3.5 my beloved <3

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What if Danse had feelings for Cutler but, being so out of touch with his feelings, didn't recognize them for what they were when Cutler was alive?

As he travels with the Sole Survivor, they grow closer and he finds himself comparing Sole to Cutler. Sole starts flirting with Danse and, much to Danse's surprise (and maybe slight dismay), he likes it. He has such a one-track mind serving the Brotherhood that he doesn't let himself indulge in it.

Everything has to be a measured response. He can't let feelings get in the way of his duty. He finds himself comparing Sole to Cutler while doing the exact same thing he did with Cutler: shoving it in a box and not unpacking it ever. Only he's lost Cutler at this point and he finds himself terrified of the same thing happening to Sole. He keeps pretending his feelings don't exist, but that's getting more and more difficult to do. He almost even believes Sole when they say they care about him too much to let something bad happen to themselves.

He doesn't know why he does what he does next, but he starts giving himself tiny permissions to see where this goes. He confides more about himself. He slipped and said he found comfort in being able to talk to Sole as more than just their commanding officer. Why did he say it? He had no idea. He wasn't prepared for Sole bringing up being held if they ever needed it.

He loses his composure. He can't say exactly what he wants to do, he doesn't know himself at this point. His mind wanders to Sole's body against his. He can't do that! He's a paladin! Except the thought sounds . . . nice. With a great amount of effort, he'd push this out of his mind until they were aboard the Prydwen again and he was alone in his private quarters.

He doesn't have much time left to think about it, because not long after he finds himself secluded in Listening Post Bravo. His world's been turned upside down. He's a synth and he disgraced himself by running instead of facing it head on. There's a ruckus and he sees the Sole Survivor fighting their way past the security he'd set up.

He's reminded of that horrible day when he found Cutler was turning into a super mutant and Danse had to put him down. There's a lump in his throat when he meets the Sole Survivor in the back room of the bunker. It had all come full circle and now he had to face that inevitability he'd only prolonged.

Only Sole refuses to go through with it. They remind Danse that they care about him. So does Haylen for that matter. Danse decides to leave the Commonwealth, having found that he might deserve to live after all.

It's all for nought when Maxson shows up and confronts Sole for not killing Danse. Danse resigns himself to his fate again only the Sole Survivor steps in seeming prepared to throw hands on Danse's behalf. Danse is so impressed he decides to stay in the Commonwealth for Sole.

Ever the duty bound officer, he still urges Sole to fulfill their duties with the Brotherhood. He's alone now in the bunker with just his thoughts. The reality of his situation comes crashing down on him. He feels like he's buried alive. It's not a pleasant time for him.

Eventually Sole comes back for him. He finally decides to open up and share what he knows to be his feelings for Sole. He lays it on the line saying he's feeling closer to Sole an anyone he's ever met. Remember he's never been great at “feelings”. He just had his world turned upside down. Something that always seemed foreign to him feels all the more strange now that he knows he's a synth. He quantifies feelings as “human feelings” and adds the addendum that it might be an anomaly in his programming. The trauma of finding out he's a synth just made understanding his own feelings all the more complicated.

The one thing that always has been his strength is his empathy. He's always able to see those feelings in others even if he can't in himself. So when Sole says they feel the same way, only they hope it's more than just friendship.

“So that means you're in love with me?”

Danse just basically laid his entire feelings out for Sole and they said “samesies” and Danse recognized it as love. In that way, he almost made the same mistake with Sole that he did with Cutler. He loves Sole, but doesn't recognize those feelings as love. He knows he feels close to Sole and doesn't want to lose them. He knows Sole is in love with him and is immediately down to be in a long term relationship. But he can't bring himself to say he loves Sole because it just hasn't clicked for him, yet.

Remember that his memories are growing up as an orphan in the Capital Wasteland (even if they are manufactured). He's never had anyone confess to having feelings for him. The idea of having feelings and having them properly referred to as “love” is something entirely new to him. He has no frame of reference for it. The only frame of reference he has for his feelings for Sole are what he had for Cutler.

Maybe one day he'll be able to work through these things and be able to explicitly tell Sole he loves them (after all, he did ask for Sole's patience). And maybe with enough time, he'll be able to come to terms with what he felt for Cutler.

[zayroen]

Little guy

[zayroen]

Cruel cruel angel....

Thank you for @general-grey for sharing this wonderful text except with me, i will be thinking about it forever

But they also called this "the most spiteful kabedon ever" and i havent been able to unsee it since-

Zoom in, context, and sketch below

[zayroen]

Orange chrysomphalina

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Win or Lose (2024), created by Carrie Hobson and Michael Yates

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The evolution of (trans) man.

(Well, this one, anyway.)

Age 9: "Tomboy"

Age 15: Strictly enforced femininity

Age 30: Hitting the mental limits of being closeted all his life and about to crash HARD

Age 47: Fifteen years now since starting transition. Far more good days than bad, no regrets.

The world may be full of uncertainty and danger, but I resolve to continue to find joy in who I am. Be joyful to be kind to yourself and be joyful to spite the bastards who would tear us apart.

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@rivetingrogue wonky audio but this is the quest I was telling you about 🥹

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the horse is here....

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Redrawing vintage art with the cookie OCs!

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"No one from House Dellamorte kneels"

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[zayroen]

If we didn't laugh, we'd cry. But all jokes aside, this speaks to the level of incoherence and incompetence within the Trump regime. As I've said before, tariffs can be used as a tool to protect American industries. But tariffs on their own do not magically create more American jobs or lead to more U.S. production. The real reason Trump is unleashing tariffs on the globe is because he falsely believes they’ll bring so much money to the treasury that the U.S. will be able to afford another giant tax cut that will mostly benefit the rich. Those tax cuts will disproportionately benefit wealthy Americans and big corporations. But revenue raised from tariffs will be coming disproportionately from average working people. That's because tariffs are regressive — taking a larger portion out of the paychecks of regular Americans compared to the paychecks of the rich. This will result in a massive transfer of wealth to the very top. I want to make one other thing clear as well: Trump is not using tariffs as a tool to protect American workers. He doesn't actually care about them. What Trump cares about is being able to get concessions out of other countries and corporations that seek exemptions from the tariffs. It's all about his ability to hand out punishments and rewards. He's more of a mob boss than a president.

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hot flaming take i’m abt to slap you with: it’s not acceptable to punish children for their grades, no matter the circumstances.

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