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@dear-fellow-travelers​ you’re in luck, i needed a cooldown tonight and these served perfectly! i assume the ram-EN also counts as instant food. i was trying to think of some kind of canned soup but aside from vague ideas of oil and antifreeze i got nothin

(other food posts found in this masterlist here)

1) have you ever plugged a hole in a tire with slime? yea, it’s this stuff. make sure you have enough time to eat this, because it will gum up your mouth real good, like slimy peanut butter. the spoon thing that comes with the package is sharp on the edges so you can cut through it rather than trying to scoop

2) proper cafEn is high-charge, high-quality energon along with certain additives that give a long lasting boost of energy. instant cafEn on the other hand is a granulated package that goes in warm regular energon to provide some of that extra energy, with worse taste and sensation. if you’re REALLY insane, you can down the packet like pixie dust and hope for the best

3) polystytoes are blobs of polystyrene ball foam, compacting together and gradually expanding within cracks in the ground. some of them can grow enormous, and more than one road or building has been compromised by tiny spuds eventually growing boulder-sized and destroying the underlying foundation. they’re a very common and useful fuel source, with one of the simplest ways being grinding them up into loose foam, then later cooking them to make mashed polystytoes. with oil gravy on top, it’s a pretty good meal!

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Yet another Cybertronian food dump! You can find all the other posts in this masterlist here.

1) look at these cute fluffy Cheeps awwww. It’s not *quite* the same texture as marshmallow Peeps, being rubber and all, but it’s still delicious. Somewhere out there is a certain purple dinosaur beastformer chowing down on these and hissing yessssssss…..

2) rebars are nice crunchy snack bars for when you need a convenient refuel. After all, you aren’t you when you’re hungry! They come individually wrapped and also in buckets. Imagine how heavy one of those buckets must be…

3) no I will not apologize for referencing a dead meme, it’s funny. There’s many types of gelweed, but this variant in particular is native to the Vinvissius Canals. Usually it’s just ropy, plasticky corded lumps on the shore, until the tide comes in and the tubing begins sucking up fluid. Once it’s fully pressurized, the cyberflora extracts nutritional compounds and stores them in pods, sealing and falling off as edible berries. Tide pod bowls are popular staples of “cleansing diets”.

4) blatantly traced from this post here, thank you very much for the suggestion ;) While crystal gardens are very common, from hobbyist to fuel source to huge ecological preserves, custom grown crystals like this platter are expensive to make. It takes a lot of time and precision to grow them so carefully that their edges are as straight as a laser. Sure, you could cut them, but there’s a pride in achieving a perfect surface without any modification.

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the people have spoken, they want Cybertronian food, and who am i to deny them that? first food post here, second one here

1) y’know those cute little jelly shapes with stuff inside them? This is basically that. The most popular inclusions are bismuth because of the iridescence, but other things are added too, like energon crystals, edible plastic figurines, and mirror shards to up the shiny factor.

2) a foamy mat of energon gel and crystal, an energon roll is not unlike a swiss roll. That’s what Blurr is eating in this pic here. Sometimes they’re cut into slices and served as a type of cake, sometimes they’re eaten like a burrito, and sometimes they’re unrolled and baked with plastic and mineral toppings, like a pizza.

3) bauble tea! Cool sweetened energon tea with a clump of nice snacks at the bottom. One type is tar balls, coated in mineral dust to prevent them from gumming up your mouth. If you just eat a tar ball without that, it’s like eating raw peanut butter, you won’t be able to speak for five minutes. Another type is not-quite-orbeez. They can come in many colors, but usually they’re transparent so they can become pink when they soak up energon. Another type is pretty glass marbles! Some places bake the marbles before hand to create a bunch of cracks in the glass so the energon can soak inside and crystalize a bit.

4) yareta forges are another type of cyberflora. They’re based off the actual yareta plant of South America. A yareta forge is essentially a type of hotspot, naturally plugged up and super dense and hot on the inside. The visible “plant” is the scabbed over top, which pushes out the multitude of glass and mineral materials it forges with its extreme pressure. Stishovite and seifertite are bold and spicy when granulated and added to a dish, and coesite shells make for a nice umami crunch when baked into gel or plastic meals. Shocked quartz doesn’t have a strong taste, but it looks gorgeous and isn’t exactly common. Shatter cones might not always be made of edible minerals, but then they’re used as interesting dishware and occasional vases. Lechatelierite glass nuts are most valuable when they’ve bubbled into a hollow, energon-filled cavity, but that doesn’t happen very often.

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More Cybertronian food: first, second, third, fourth, fifth

1) okay shout out to the fan cont Discord server for this one but we got Pringles!!! The Ambus Compact is the group home Minimus lives in, and it’s claim to fame is a graduate who went on to start a chip company named after the compact. Ambles are made of rhodium, with some other palladium variants, and are very shiny. A stick to pull up the chip stack is included in every can.

2) foil floss is a tasty treat that will fall apart in your mouth! Often glittery and glinting from the powdery foil bits that give it flavor, the delicate plastic cloud is a popular street snack or dessert.

3) zircandies are mass-grown cubic zirconia in a variety of beautiful colors and hewn into a rough marble, most commonly colored like a star to mimic a pattern of solar fire across the surface. They really are jawbreakers, being made of a substance nearly as hard as diamond, so they’re meant to be chipped away over a long period of time. A single baggie can last awhile. They’re often found in the pockets of benevolent old mecha, and Kup is never found without at least five on his person. (the picture says zirconium instead of zirconia oops)

4) coolant whip! Usually a cold topping on a sweet treat, but occasionally scooped out and eaten as-is, almost like ice cream.

5) no guesses as to what Prowl’s guilty pleasure is. Wheelnuts are most often made of energon rolls, extruded polystyrene, rubber rolls, or oil loaves, shaped like a wheel and filled with a multitude of flavors. They take different names and shapes depending on where they’re made and what flavor they are, but all of them are called wheelnuts, and they are a staple of Cybertronian bakeries. They come in boxes of thirteen called a Prime’s dozen. Prowl’s favorite flavor is plain iced energon, Smokescreen prefers petrol barrels, and Bluestreak will demolish an oil cream frosted in a few seconds flat.

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thank you anon! took me a bit to come up with these because (and i know this may shock you) i am not exactly rich and affluent and used to expensive foodstuffs, so i wasn’t sure what to use offhand

(other food posts found in this masterlist: for mobile, for desktop) 

1) a strange, rare, subterranean cyberflora species, goldleaf produces long delicate ivy strands of golden ore, cascading down and sometimes creating huge nests of golden flakes if left undisturbed for long enough. i based these off of those perfect pencil sharpening moments when you’ve managed to create a long thin strip of wood, or peeling apples in one super long coil of skin. this cyberflora will grow around any underground seam of soft metal, but it pops up around gold most often. finding them can be difficult, but harvesting the ivy without the strands breaking or even disintegrating completely is very delicate work. the scarcity and difficulty means a coil of authentic goldleaf ivy atop a dish is an expensive addition

2) these truffles aren’t actually grown from cyberflora at all! manganese nodules form naturally in oceans, so they’re quite plentiful here on Earth. but on Cybertron, where bodies of water are hardly common… let’s just say they’re a little tough to get. on Eukaris and Caminus, planets with more water, truffles are more common and thus less expensive. they’re blobs of layered iron and manganese, which is an excellent source of repair material for mecha, and thin slices of these nutritious and delicious truffles are used in very fine, very pricey meals

3) now this one is a little tricky. given the fact that most people consider it barbaric to eat mechanimals, and how mechanimals don’t even reproduce, instead emerging from hotspots, caviar on Cybertron is not fish eggs. it does however come from fish! specifically, the orange caviar is from cybersalmon living in the flooded parts of the Rust Sea. when the cybersalmon reach a point in their lifecycle where the corrosion and rust has decayed them too much, they migrate to the closest hotspot, consolidate much of their energon and other precious fluids into beads, and then scatter these beads nearby before dying, so newly forged mechanimals coming from the hotspot will have an immediate source of rich fuel. the beads are, like many things in the sea, stained orange from rust. the black caviar come from sturgeonoids, native to the underground Argon Sea. they don’t usually swim in schools, but they do forge minor drones for themselves, essentially becoming a single organism with multiple decoy bodies that they inhabit and control simultaneously. forging a drone takes some time, and it starts with a little bead of condensed energy and material. black caviar is more difficult to harvest, making it more expensive, but both varieties are considered luxurious

4) saffronze isn’t a particularly unusual species. there are many types of cyberflora that harvest and forge metals as their ecological niche. but bronze specifically is not a common cyberflora byproduct, and saffronze is not a common species, making it one of the rarer and more “exotic” cyberflora spices. the thin, tightly woven bronze wires are incredibly high quality, making them an excellent additive to sweet, flavorful dishes. of course, you could just use bronze made in your local smithy, but people claim there’s a certain zest to genuine saffronze that just can’t be copied. the sheer scarcity is what makes it alluring

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GUESS WHO’S BACK WITH CYBERTRONIAN FOOD IT’S ME BABY!! And all of them are fruits! You can find all the other food posts in this masterlist here

1) cherry bombs double as both hard candy and festive explosives. Sweet and spicy at the same time, they grow from areas with a lot of sulfur and carbon. They’re ready to be picked when the fuses of a cherry bunch unravel from each other to let each cherry swing freely. Sometimes the wind blowing through the branches will knock the cherries together hard enough to detonate one and strip the whole tree in a loud messy chain reaction. Certain mechanimal species like gryphraxi that require ammunition as part of their fuel eat cherry bombs often, otherwise it’s mostly Cybertronians who pick and eat them.

2) sticky little shells of congealed fuels, pistachioils are found exclusively underground, stretching downward like stalactites to collect trickles of oil. The talc shells are edible too, and lend a nice crunch to the sticky oil inside.

3) logginkey plants are one of the rare cyberflora species that don’t emerge from a flora hotspot, but instead emerge from one of the datapacket seeds transferred to another plant. Growing on other cyberflora, a logginkey takes energy from its host and in turn acts as a secondary immune system, running through system checks and setting up firewalls. They’re a general health station for mechanimals as well, with their flower plugs capable of interfacing with and debugging fauna visiting for a checkup. These mechanimals then take the fruits to eat, and a benign temporary script uploaded by the flower directs them to stick one or two seeds on a different plant somewhere. The seeds are electrified and very sour-sweet, and mecha often take them like supplements. (it was a bit hard to figure out a name for lilikoi, but I figured reversing the order of keylogging would work)

4) thank you to @dear-fellow-travelers for the suggestion! There’s a variety of oilmelon types, all derived from the same codeline but developing differently depending on the resources surrounding their hotspot. Cantalubricants are often underground, honeydetergents are common around acid swamps, and papoyleums mostly show up near wellsprings and geysers. They’re usually soft on the inside, sweet, and energizing

5) bombegranate trees are ecosystem architects. Their fruit grows up at the very top of the branches, and not long after ripening, explodes outward, sending hard crystal seeds scattering a good ways away and embedding them in the ground with sheer force. These crystal seeds start crystal prairies, and after awhile a single bombegranate can surround itself with a huge radius of wild-growing crystals. The fruits need to be harvested right when they ripen, unless the harvester wants to risk a bomb in the face, and the seeds can be chewed a long time before breaking down because of how hard they are.

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More food posts: first, second, third

Screenshot the ask so the image quality isn’t ruined (why does tungle do that to pictures under asks anyway), but yes! There’s multiple things that fall under that definition.

Rust does actually have its uses! A rust infection is detrimental, of course, but when ingested it can be repurposed by a mech’s self repair systems as a polishing agent, and can also be used as an ingredient for minor thermite welding on more drastic interior wounds or breaks.

1) actual, literal junk food, the thing most people in-universe are talking about when they say junk food. The average junker spends half the day, if not more, just looking for food. Stealing is an option, but risky, since Enforcers are often looking for any excuse to arrest and harass homeless outcasts like them. So their usual food source is the trash. Not a lot of it will be even close to fuel, but a junker has to have impervious tanks to survive. Their immune systems and internal forges are often stronger than a regular mech because they’re used to living off barely edible material. Fresh energon is also unheard of, so they get the used runoff, mostly industrial-grade sludge that wouldn’t be appetizing even brand new.

2) as for the “not healthy but tastes nice” type of junk food, that would be anything that’s overenergized, like a nice cool glass of buzzing energade. Consuming excess materials will just lead to denser or lumpier armor and increased shedding, and consuming excess energy will lead to essentially a sugar high and resulting crash. Energade like this is charged up to maximum capacity, so a tired mech will be refreshed quickly and a rested mech will find themselves needing to burn off energy. Repeatedly consuming high charged fuel stresses the internal power routing systems of a frame and can lead to the equivalent of tripped breakers and fried circuits, usually on a very minor scale.

3) cygars exist, why not chewing tobacco? Copper cud is oxidized ore in soft convenient chunks for a mech to chew on for awhile. The metal itself is mostly copper, with a second material hammered and stretched and folded back on itself within the copper until the two are marbled together without having been melted into an alloy. Each plug has a coating of sweetener oil. The gummy versions sometimes come with a small battery in the rubber to charge the wire wrapping while chewing. They’re useful for quitting harder stimms and circuitjacks, or as just something to occupy the mouth as a habit.

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More food posts: first, second, third, fourth

1) mechanimal crackers! Selenium is the most common version, often grown into specific shapes or poured in a mold, but there are other materials used.

2) who doesn’t love some shave ice, honestly. This bowl is pretty fancy, with some edible insulating foam on the bottom and sides to keep it cold, some candyfloss wire wrapped around it, and a very pretty gradient of different flavored coolants. Since the main ingredient of shave ice is dry ice, the parlors that make and sell this dish are kept at very low temperatures to keep the dry ice from immediately evaporating away.

3) a protein shake (oops misspelled it in the picture) is a very silt-heavy drink, which means it’s full of granulated materials and nanites meant to provide self-repair resources along with fuel. Most often it’s a thick energon slurry with added powders, but sometimes other liquid bases are used. There’s an endless amount of flavors, and the only limitation is making sure not to add two ingredients that will react explosively or fuse into an undrinkable solid. It might be good for other dishes, but it kinda ruins the point of a shake.

4) a circuitrus fruit and tree! The energade in the last food dump had a slice of circuitrus on its rim. Each fruit is a little battery encased in rubbery plastic that gives a pleasant shock when bitten, and different variants grow in different shapes. Some domesticated versions have been programmed to give shocks in a specific pattern or simple message when eaten. The cyberflora that produces them is properly called a circuitrus inductorium, but they’re usually called needlesparkers after the electrical energy that dances across the wires at the top.

oh MAN I want shave ice. anyway, I’m still open for food ideas if y’all have any suggestions!

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since yall went HAM over the last Cybertronian food stuff, here’s some more

1) crunchy snacks! Chips, crisps, and crackers are many and varied, so these are just some examples, but they sure are good ones mmmmm. There’s many, many varieties of flavors, from just the raw material, to oil and grease, to mineral seasoning, to gel or energon coating, and on and on. Mixed bags of multiple chip types are also available.

2) energon sticks are pretty ubiquitous, in both dust and solid form. Other minerals get similar snack stick treatment, like selenite and beryllium, but energon will always be at least a little more popular.

3) zushi……. There’s lots of types of zushi in various forms, not always in the roll shape here. Usually it’s eaten with fingers and dipped in a oil or coolant sauce, but you have to be careful to not touch the sticky shavings. Fancier places will replace the tin or lead foil with delicate wraps like gold leaf.

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Cybertronian food dump! Designing this stuff is addictive.

1) a typical cafeteria meal at the JAAT. Maccadam ensures the students get only the best, even occasionally arranging for “culture fuel” days, serving dishes from different city-states or colonies.

2) if you let steel woolies sit long enough, you get rust bunnies, delicious lil bunches of spice. It’s pretty easy to make them (Whirl keeps a bunch of steel woolies under his berth and just lets them rust until they’re ready), but commercial grade rust bunnies have grease and seasoning that adds to the flavor.

3) cyberflora aren’t really alive like organic plants are, but they do contribute heavily to the energon cycle, metal distribution, and energy generation of Cybertron. This one is called a brollypalm, a solar collector that gathers energon and charges it to a sweet buzz with the energy. Brollypods can be cracked open and drank, or they can be chilled to a gelatinous solid and eaten.

4) I have nothing to say about RAM-En except for the fact you’d better appreciate the pun.

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I need tfa Optimus to be the holder of the matrix of leadership. The best part is that he doesn’t realize the significance of the artifact. So for example he and old meggsy are having a little tussle and op gets part of his chest plate tore off and the matrix is just there. Megatrons like ‘wtf I thought you where a nobody but your the prime’ and Optimus is so confused because the senate had all the info and story’s about the past primes and the 13. So Optimus is like ‘well I’m not technically a prime” and megs has to explain to this poor little autobot that no that bauble in his chest is not normal and that yes it technically means that op outranks anyone else. So op because he got self worth issues is like ‘oh ok so I’ll turn this over to sentinel to give to ultra Magnus’ at this point the ghosts of the thirteen prime show up scream NO and put Optimus in mandatory therapy.

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Absolutely Gorgeous Proustite on Quartz From Bouismas mine, Bou Azzer, Drâa-Tafilalet, Morocco.

Photo: Fine mineral photography

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Well, I guess it's canon now that Rung does pole dancing as a side hobby/job...

If y'all didn't know, James Robert's the person who wrote Mtmte & Lost light.

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https://www.tumblr.com/cuppajj/766160409907658752/if-i-can-ask-whos-the-character-in-your-pfp-i

God this guy might just be the reason I get into Transformers sydyyxfyc-

Where can I find the comics?

YESSSS PROPAGANDA

you can find the tf comics online!! That’s how I read em the first time. The site readcomiconline.li is your best friend, but I suggest an adblocker.

As for where to start, I suggest reading IDW MTMTE (More Than Meets The Eye) first since it’s a nice and self contained story that requires little background homework. However, if you want a full guide, there are posts on tumblr to help you out… that I can’t find rn sadly. But good luck!!

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Thousands of years into the future, the many fantastical species of the world, such as flavours of Elves, Dwarves, Goblins, et cetera, all discover they're the genetically modified descendants of Humanity. Chaos ensues at this revelation, especially when a single, ancient stasis tube is found..

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CYBERTRONIAN GUIDE TO IDENTIFYING A HEALTHY PROWL.

[TRANSCRIPT]: PROPER MAINTENANCE FOR YOUR PROWL IS KEY TO ENSURING THE BEST FOR YOU, YOUR TEAM, AND THE PROWL INVOLVED.

[TRANSCRIPT]: LOOK AT THIS PROWL, FOR INSTANCE. HIS PLATING HAS A CLEAR LUSTER TO IT, AND HE LOOKS QUITE HEALTHY, WITH NO DENTS OR SCRAPES. [TRANSCRIPT]: SEE HOW HE APPROACHES OTHERS READILY? THIS PROWL HAS BEEN SOCIALIZED WELL SINCE HE WAS ONLINED, AND SHOWS ENOUGH TRUST TO BE FRIENDLY WITH THOSE IN HIS TEAM. [TRANSCRIPT]: IN ADDITION, NOTE THE BRIGHT COLOR OF HIS CHEVRON AS WELL AS HIS FACIAL EXPRESSION. IT'S CLEAR HE IS BEING TAKEN GOOD CARE OF, AND IS HAPPY AND READY TO DO HIS JOB THE BEST HE CAN.

[TRANSCRIPT]: NOW TAKE A LOOK AT THIS PROWL. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING WE NOTICE ABOUT HIM? THE WOUNDS, FOR ONE, ARE THE MOST OBVIOUS INDICATOR THAT THIS PROWL IS NOT IN THE BEST OF HEALTH.

[TRANSCRIPT]: AH, RED, COULD YOU PERHAPS TAKE ANOTHER PHOTO, PERHAPS FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE?

[TRANSCRIPT]: YES, HERE, WE CAN SEE HIS WOUNDS MORE CLEARLY. WHILE HIS CHEVRON MAY STILL BE BRIGHT, IT IS EVIDENT THAT THIS PROWL HAS SEEN SOME ABUSE IN THE PAST. HERE, PROWL! LOOK OVER HERE!

[TRANSCRIPT]: HIS REACTION TIME IS RATHER QUICK, THOUGH HE SEEMS TO STILL POSSESS A SENSE OF CAUTION AND MISTRUST WITH US. [TRANSCRIPT]: THOUGH THIS PROWL HAS SEEN SOME RATHER HARSH EVENTS IN HIS LIFE, WITH ENOUGH EFFORT AND CARE, RECOVERY IS STILL POSSIBLE. TO OUR NEXT SUBJECT-

[TRANSCRIPT]: Uh... I don't think we [UNINTELLIGIBLE] doing this. He's not looking too happy. Listen, Red, we can't bring awareness [UNINTELLIGIBLE] if we don't [UNINTELLIGIBLE].

[TRANSCRIPT]: I'm not going in there.. have you even seen him? ..Ratchet sometimes takes him around Sector [UNINTELLIGIBLE STATIC] for exercise. I'm sure it's fine. Listen, I'm not [UNINTELLIGIBLE] frag around with this [UNINTELLIGIBLE STATIC] you have no clue [UNINTELLIGIBLE] empurata and [UNINTELLIGIBLE] [TRANSCRIPT]: Okay, that's enough audio rolling, I think we're done with th- GIVE ME THE DATAPAD-

**************************************************** THIS PROWL IS IN NO CONDITION TO RETURN TO SOCIETY. THERE IS NO WAY HE IS GOING TO RECOVER. REATTACHING NEW HANDS THAT AREN'T HIS.. LET ALONE WHAT THEY'VE DONE WITH HIS HELM.

HE IS IN CONSTANT PAIN. HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO HE IS ANYMORE. EVEN I DON'T KNOW IF HE IS STILL IN THERE. HE SHOULD BE EUTHANIZED FOR THE SAKE OF HIS SPARK.. AND ALL OF OURS, TOO.

THIS PROWL... SHOULD BE PUT TO REST.