zannenilsson
Zanne Nilsson
218 posts
34 | (they/them) | Genderfluid writer/singer-songwriter ready to ruin my "author brand" one post at a time. Check out my original writing on Medium, fanfic on AO3, or my music/videos on YouTube.
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zannenilsson · 21 hours ago
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zannenilsson · 2 days ago
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Made a dark mode skin to go with the light mode version of this one.
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zannenilsson · 4 days ago
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Honestly, part of why it irritates me when people act performatively shocked at the homophobia in 2000s media is it wasn't just media. "Can you believe this aired in 2008" buddy, in 2008 I was having shit thrown at me from moving cars for having long hair, and you wanna get worked up about sitcoms?
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zannenilsson · 6 days ago
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those feratu…
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zannenilsson · 9 days ago
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I just saw this old status in my Facebook memories and find it HILARIOUS that I basically started exactly this with my fic "Class of '26" the following year, even though I'd completely forgotten about this idea.
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zannenilsson · 13 days ago
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you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life
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zannenilsson · 14 days ago
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how it feels to use the word diegetic
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zannenilsson · 14 days ago
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Film Trash Protip: The next time a film nerd tries to snobsplain what your favorite movie is "really about," respond by calling their theory/interpretation a "fun headcanon" then talk their ear off about the most unhinged fan theory you have for that film.
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zannenilsson · 15 days ago
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season's greasons once again!
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zannenilsson · 16 days ago
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So the tire-eating potholes in my neighborhood finally killed both my rear tires and I had to get that dealt with, but while they were getting replaced, I put the dogs in puppy daycare and upon picking them up early, the attendant literally sprinted to the front desk, grabbed me by the shoulders and breathlessly exclaimed "YOUNEEDTOCOMESEEWHATYOURDOGSAREDOING"
While she escorted me back to the play yards, she explained that every time they have more than three Corgi, they have to put all the Corgs in a separate play yard because they turn into a little gang and bully the Very Large dogs by playing Cow Herding Simulator 5000 with them, and especially if Herschel is there, because corgis are bossy-pants dogs, and Herschel has the bossiest pants of them all and acts as leader.
Despite being a little Don Corgleone to the short bitch mafia, Hershcel is also a Huge Baby and will apparently cry and cry and try to climb the fence and cry and eat people's shoelaces and cry if he is separated from Charlie during playtime, so this means any time that "Corgi Party" is happening, Charlie also has to go to Corgi party, despite being full-height, running cat software and a senior citizen. he copes with being Gulliver amongst the Liliputians by climbing onto the roof of the playskool castle they have for a climbing structure in the yard, kicking the ladder down behind him, and stretching out to nap in the sun while the corgi frolic and gambol around him.
Corgi are dogs that make up and play games with secret rules, like kindergartners. "Everyone bark in sync" is a popular game, as is "follow the leader" and it's companion game "March in a circle around a tall structure like ants caught in a death loop".
So what I was greeted with, when the attendant and I snuck out to the play yard, was the sight of Charlie, sound asleep and flat on his back with his paws crossed over his chest because sighthounds sleep in the stupidest fucking positions, on top of a faux-medieval castle with gargoyles on the corners, surrounded by approximately seven Corgi, all trotting in a circle around him, barking in sync.
"They look like they're preforming some kind of ritual!" giggled the attendant as attempted to get my phone to focus.
"Yeah, they're gonna summon Corgtulhu." I said.
Unfortunately, this made the attendant literally fall on her ass laughing, and distracted Herschel and his compatriots, so they didn't get to complete the summons, and I didn't get the pic.
The attendant kept laughing because apparently she's new to puns, and had mostly gotten it under control by the time we got everyone's leashes on and back out to the front.
The manager was watching the front desk, bemused. Did you get to see them doing the ritual?"
"YEAH!" shrieks the attendant, still excitable with merriment. "THEY'RE- THEY WERE-" The attendant ends up giggling on the floor.
"You okay there Katie?" asked the manager with minimal concern.
"We think they were trying to summon Corgthulhu." I eplain, and Katie screams from the floor. "Wasn't gonna work though, you need a virgin sacrifice and Charlie had an STD when we got him."
It was the manager's turn to shriek. and for Charlie and Herschel to start barking in solidarity.
"That's right Charlie! Your sluttiness saved the world!" I told him, as he jumped up and kicked me in the face.
Anyway, that's why Charlie's nickname at daycare is now "Superman(whore)"
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If you found this story amusing, please consider donating to my Ko-fi or pre-ordering the Family Lore book on my Patreon so I can buy the good dogs more treats.
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zannenilsson · 17 days ago
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To anyone wondering if it's worth it to tear down fascist posters or whatever. I spent a few months last year engaged in silent battle with another student at my school who was putting anti trans stickers up everywhere. I had it down to a system where every night I would walk the five block radius they went up in, and tear down all the ones I could reach, and use a stick to put duct tape over the others. Like, within hours of the stickers going up, I would have already purged the whole zone. I knew the basic schedule of whoever put them up based on when and where the stickers appeared. I probably could have found them in person if I'd wanted to. And I told all my classmates and friends what the stickers looked like and got them to rip them down too. And after a few months of this, the stickers slowed, and then stopped forever.
My point is, a lot of this fashy or right wing stuff is one local weirdo. And if you pay attention, and do a little light organizing with your friends, you can basically make their efforts into a giant sisyphisean exercise in misery. You control your streets!
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zannenilsson · 17 days ago
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hey guys who wants to see a christmas decoration someone in my area put up
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zannenilsson · 18 days ago
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I think toy doctors are so nice actually like i remember being a little heartbroken kid when one of my beloved stuffed animals got old and torn up and my mom just threw him out. And i know what it would have meant to me, to have someone lovingly stitch him back up instead so i could love him just a little longer. And I’m really glad there are little kids out there who get to see pictures of their stuffed animals and dolls with little fake hospital beds and casts as they “rest & heal” before returning to them good as new. Like what a sweet thing to do with your life.
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zannenilsson · 19 days ago
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Me: "I'm gonna eat that cheese."
My Brain: "This is the bathroom. That is soap. If you eat it, you will die."
Me: "F O R B I D D E N C H E E S E"
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zannenilsson · 19 days ago
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I customized one of those clip-on figure bags for my blorbo because I am a Very Normal Person who likes Very Normal Things a Very Normal Amount.
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zannenilsson · 19 days ago
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Sometimes it's confirmation bias and sometimes the world itseld is determined to show you people are fundamentally good actually
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zannenilsson · 20 days ago
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