zalfonzo-blog
Trash
438 posts
Just a bunch of random shit man
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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“What have you done”
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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The Mighty Nein + Onion Headlines - Part 3
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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Space Snake
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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After succumbing to a fever of some sort in 1705, Irish woman Margorie McCall was hastily buried to prevent the spread of whatever had done her in. Margorie was buried with a valuable ring, which her husband had been unable to remove due to swelling. This made her an even better target for body snatchers, who could cash in on both the corpse and the ring.
The evening after Margorie was buried, before the soil had even settled, the grave-robbers showed up and started digging. Unable to pry the ring off the finger, they decided to cut the finger off. As soon as blood was drawn, Margorie awoke from her coma, sat straight up and screamed.
The fate of the grave-robbers remains unknown. One story says the men dropped dead on the spot, while another claims they fled and never returned to their chosen profession.
Margorie climbed out of the hole and made her way back to her home.
Her husband John, a doctor, was at home with the children when he heard a knock at the door. He told the children, “If your mother were still alive, I’d swear that was her knock.”
When he opened the door to find his wife standing there, dressed in her burial clothes, blood dripping from her finger but very much alive, he dropped dead to the floor. He was buried in the plot Margorie had vacated.
Margorie went on to re-marry and have several children. When she did finally die, she was returned to Shankill Cemetery in Lurgan, Ireland, where her gravestone still stands. It bears the inscription “Lived Once, Buried Twice.”
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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rumble (http://safelyendangered.com/webtoon)
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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you come into MY chilis, BARBECUE SAUCE ON YOUR TITTIES, and disrespect MY valentino white bag? fuck, i can’t believe you’ve done this. you’re disrespecting a FUTURE US army soldier - i think i know more about american girl dolls than you. ive got the power of god AND anime on my side!!!
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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BONUS
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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Daily reminder that Gizmodo is a piece of shit website that doesn’t let people enjoy anything.
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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man
the creators of superman really named a small town “smallville” and a big city “metropolis” didn’t they 
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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Stu, let me ask you a question: how did you not realize until then that you had too many eggs? Nobody sells eggs in a big cloth-covered basket, so you must have done that yourself. That means you spent god-knows-how-long opening up twelve whole cartons of eggs, carefully placing each egg one-by-one inside a big basket, and then covering it with a big picnic cloth… and at no point- at no point- did you ever stop and think “gee, there might be TOO MANY FUCKING EGGS HERE”
You really have lost control of your life.
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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I lose it every fucking time
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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the bible but its retold in memes
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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the new batch of love for john mulaney here on tumblr has got me thinking how critical costume design is once again. john mulaney is a good comedian, but so much of his power comes from how his humor plays off how he’s dressed. we don’t expect a man dressed like a 1960s news announcer, all clean scrubbed and tight-wound professional, to describe in minute detail the visit where a doctor shoved a hand up his ass. imagine any iconic john mulaney set but given in jeans and a t-shirt, and is it as funny? i don’t think so. his humor spreads like wildfire on this website because the image of a man in a buttoned-up shirt and a tie and slicked back hair with fairly narrow lapels on his three-piece suit is fucking hysterical when paired with “years later I’d be in college about to go down on some rockin’ twink and i’d be like what would leonard bernstein do”
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zalfonzo-blog · 6 years ago
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List of resources for dnd
roll20: Make an account to play the game
Orcpub: For hosting and editing your character sheet
DND Wiki: Homebrew things, races, classes, misc
Players Handbook: Rules how to play how to make a character, all basic information for playing a game
Discord: to talk during and about the game
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