ysiadreams

[ysiadreams]

why do I feel like I'm a complete thinking about a lot of thing that has happened to me. Things have just been the same, so lame. Is it myself to blame?

This is one of this sleepless nights. darn!

[ysiadreams]

yes I came back. Reading back how my heart was and is broken makes me feel so sorry for myself. That is when everything seems to only have been a dark road for me.

HEy after a year this is me. Seeing that God has really opened my to what I haven't seen coz Im overpowered by love that I didn't even know how to express for it is so grand.

Here I am again just hungry for a new twist in my life. Am I ready? I want this. I know this is my time.

Things seem to be unclear but my passion now are just whats real. I have so many reasons why I should do it. Why I must. Please self let me be always be reminded of that. ♥️

[ysiadreams]

The future is uncertain.Uncertainty triggers fear. Summon your courage. Protect yourself. Wear your mask first(but be stupid to smile behind it).

[ysiadreams]

I'm officialy back to work, feels good.🙂

[ysiadreams]

[ysiadreams]

Now Im not even sure If Im still gonna ask you If we can still be together when I get there.

Maybe I will just have to wait If you have a change of heart or never. 😔

Babe I miss you. My heart did not change a bit. Yes I hate you because you turned me down, you made me close to being insane and lifeless.

I have a lot of why's.. I keep on asking where did I go wrong. Why is life so cruel to me. Why do I have a series of unfortunate events?..

Did you really not see how I am to you?

I was so careful of heart.

[ysiadreams]

Makes me really sad. I'm trying hard for someone who didn't even want me. 🥺

[ysiadreams]

I don't really know why I have tumbler but its kinda my diary. 😁 I get to talk about everything and express my feelings without people I know judging me. Atleast u know I have something to read back to. Here I can be whatever I want and who knows? I can be what I want. Why not?

[ysiadreams]

I wanna play princess and let the world see for once in my life🙂

[ysiadreams]

Nothing is impossible.🙂

I wanna play princess once in my life, I should make a way.

Ysiad dream come true caption😁🌼

[ysiadreams]

Another caption came into my mind. "I am changing this world" and It will all be beautiful🌼🙂

[ysiadreams]

here I am again thinking what would be the best caption when I set foot to Germany.. then this came to me..

Extraordinary events hit me big time. It required me extraordinary patience and strength. Then I begun to ask the Boss:

me: why me?

boss: My child this is only for extraordinary people

me: oh cmon' Im not wonderwoman🙄 im just daisy

boss: hmm You dnt need superpowers to be this cool

lalalalala...drum..drum..

[ysiadreams]

Tonight I keep on wondering what would be the best caption to my picture. Picture when I finally set foot in Germany. Hmm no words can really describe it, what I have been through, moments when I don't even feel like holding to life.

Well is Germany even a good place? Is it even a good start? Will it even bring me joy?

I kept on dreaming in times that life will finally on my side rather than a cycle of missed oppurtunities and broken hearts. Can life just stop and atleast side with me?

[ysiadreams]

Where is Thanos when I desperately need him to just snap everything?

Gosh what is happening to the world made me so all over the place. You see the world is experiencing a crisis. We are even fighting to an enemy that we can't see. People lose their businesses,their jobs, their sanity, their life.

Its sad.

[ysiadreams]

Nadumduman ko sbng mag ubra speech pang miss universe,sayang wala ko height bi. Isa sbng sa mga gab-i nga nag tumpok problema ko sa kbuhi, sickness in the family(balik2x lng sa hospital), ang virus nga gpasalamat ko wala ko malatnan, ban sng poea, wala ko ubra, kag ang nbuka ko nga kasing2x😅

May 31, 2020 (Sunday)wala ko sbng gahibi ah, wala na may magwa. Ang npilit ko bla mag bangon kda adlaw, npilit ko gd nga maging sane kag xempre npilit ko maging gwapa japun.

Here goes, sa mga muto nga inadlaw I made myself productive, galuto ko, gpaninlo,ga exercise, ga practice drive. I write my short term goals everyday. Mas nbudlayan ko mag achieve kay 2ngod sa restrictions, things are slower.

What I'm saying is I cried so many times,. The world and the person I love turned their back on me. Amidst, wala ko naga give up.

I did not stop on achieving that beautiful and healthy body. I read the news and lots of stuff. Para bla pretty and smart man ta. I worked hard for it. Not to mention Im also a single mom kag ang bata ko pirmi gmasakit. Pero go lng. Sa X ko pag abot ko germany mangkuton tka liwat kung willing ka ipadayun naudlot ta nga love story. I dont give up easily on love.

I have my time. Things may not work well for me now but it will be. I stayed beautiful for all of this. Yes indi sya hapos, you will definitely just want to leave the world.

Wait in see, I will be the best. I will sparkle. I will shine. I will bloom and everybody will witness it.

[ysiadreams]

here I am trying to be okey. I miss you.

WHy do you always do this to me?

[ysiadreams]

I decided to open my tumbler account again wanting to let my feelings out. I have been struggling in a lit of things and I think I would feel better If I would write it down.

My mom is suffering from ovarian cancer stage 3b, decided to leave my job so that I could take care of her.

Household chores, taking care of my 8year old son, accompanying my mom to her check ups and chemo sessions, stress is all over the place.

What is adding to it is that my boyfriend is always busy and tired. I want to express everything to him but I can't. His heart has changed.I am hurt and everything else is weighing me down. I love him but why.

I keep asking God why.